Scheduling?

[Melissa]

SIL keeps wondering (aloud, to her mother and father who live here and are
already concerned about my parenting) when I'll be putting DD on a schedule.
I keep telling her that I'm not going to since it's not important to either
of us. I mention that I don't eat at the exact same times every day nor do I
sleep at the same time every day so I don't expect DD to. We're kind of on a
napping schedule and DD does go to bed around 8 p.m. every day, but I can't
see any benefit to either of us of forcing her to eat only at certain times
a day or only every three hours when there are times that she needs to eat
more often.

Aside from telling her to mind her own business, can anyone think of another
way of telling her why a schedule isn't something useful for us. It's not
that she's going to convince me, it's that she's a pain and the in-laws are,
as mentioned, already concerned that I'm a strange parent because I'm STILL
bf'ing, I pick her up when she cries, we're not that big into solids yet
(she turns six months next weekend) and I don't seem concerned that she's
not sleeping through the night. Heck, they're worried that I'm not concerned
that she hasn't hit some of the milestones (like rolling over) when I'm just
not worried that she's going to go off to kindergarten still lying on her
back or front and not moving around. She's a reasonably happy child and
spent six solid weeks crying, so I figure she's just a bit behind having
lost those weeks when she might have been learning.

--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03

[Belphoebe]

"Melissa" > wrote in message
news:%UAgb.704843$uu5.116212@sccrnsc04...

> SIL keeps wondering (aloud, to her mother and father who live here and are
> already concerned about my parenting) when I'll be putting DD on a
schedule.

So let me get this straight. Your SIL comes over and asks MIL and FIL--in
your presence--when you're going to start scheduling your DD? So she's too
passive aggressive to talk to you directly? It seems to me I'd confront her
about *that*. "If you have something you want to ask me about, ask *me*.

As for how you parent, that's really none of her business, but you knew that
already!

> Aside from telling her to mind her own business, can anyone think of
another
> way of telling her why a schedule isn't something useful for us.

Babies who are fed on cue, rather than forced to eat according to a
schedule, are more likely not to lose the ability to self-regulate according
to their caloric and nutritional needs. As a result, they are much less
likely to become overweight or obese in adulthood, with all the attendant
health problems.


It's not
> that she's going to convince me, it's that she's a pain and the in-laws
are,
> as mentioned, already concerned that I'm a strange parent because I'm
STILL
> bf'ing, I pick her up when she cries, we're not that big into solids yet
> (she turns six months next weekend) and I don't seem concerned that she's
> not sleeping through the night. Heck, they're worried that I'm not
concerned
> that she hasn't hit some of the milestones (like rolling over) when I'm
just
> not worried that she's going to go off to kindergarten still lying on her
> back or front and not moving around. She's a reasonably happy child and
> spent six solid weeks crying, so I figure she's just a bit behind having
> lost those weeks when she might have been learning.

Sounds as though you're doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work. :)

Belphoebe

[JennP]

"Melissa" > wrote in message
news:%UAgb.704843$uu5.116212@sccrnsc04...

> Aside from telling her to mind her own business, can anyone think of
another
> way of telling her why a schedule isn't something useful for us. It's not
> that she's going to convince me, it's that she's a pain and the in-laws
are,
> as mentioned, already concerned that I'm a strange parent because I'm
STILL
> bf'ing, I pick her up when she cries, we're not that big into solids yet
> (she turns six months next weekend) and I don't seem concerned that she's
> not sleeping through the night.

From what you've explained here, I don't think any explanation you give her
is going to matter. She's already made up her mind that she doesn't like the
way you parent. Frankly, I wouldn't waste another explanation on your
judgmental sil. Don't waste your time, it's not going to change her mind.

You know what is right for your child, just listen to yourself. HTH
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Slave]

It could be worse! This past Saturday I told my SIL that I plan to BF at
least until our child is 1yr. She said " that will just make the kid into a
pervert" I can't tell you what held me back from knocking all her teeth out
but I was so furious. Shes 30, virgin, never even had a boyfriend and is
telling me what she thinks about BF. She said" I'm going to pump so my
husband can get up in the middle of the night" OMG! Yeah if any man ever
gets near her lonely body she'll be lucky. I said, " If I'm staying home
and my husband is earning the $, then he doesnt need to get up in the middle
of the night"! My husband was apalled by what she said.

Sometimes I swear she was raised by a pack of wolves!

Diana
TTC#1 since June 03

--




"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

"JennP" > wrote in message
news:6AEgb.515616$Oz4.371974@rwcrnsc54...
>
> "Melissa" > wrote in message
> news:%UAgb.704843$uu5.116212@sccrnsc04...
>
> > Aside from telling her to mind her own business, can anyone think of
> another
> > way of telling her why a schedule isn't something useful for us. It's
not
> > that she's going to convince me, it's that she's a pain and the in-laws
> are,
> > as mentioned, already concerned that I'm a strange parent because I'm
> STILL
> > bf'ing, I pick her up when she cries, we're not that big into solids yet
> > (she turns six months next weekend) and I don't seem concerned that
she's
> > not sleeping through the night.
>
> From what you've explained here, I don't think any explanation you give
her
> is going to matter. She's already made up her mind that she doesn't like
the
> way you parent. Frankly, I wouldn't waste another explanation on your
> judgmental sil. Don't waste your time, it's not going to change her mind.
>
> You know what is right for your child, just listen to yourself. HTH
> --
> JennP.
>
> mom to Matthew 10/11/00
> remove "no........spam" to reply
>
>

[Clare L]

>
> Sometimes I swear she was raised by a pack of wolves!
>
> Diana
> TTC#1 since June 03
>
> --
>
>
Can't have been a pack of wolves....they look after their young and so she'd
know better!

Clare

[Melissa]

> "Melissa" > wrote
> > SIL keeps wondering (aloud, to her mother and father who live here and
are
> > already concerned about my parenting) when I'll be putting DD on a
> schedule.

"Belphoebe" > wrote
> So let me get this straight. Your SIL comes over and asks MIL and FIL--in
> your presence--when you're going to start scheduling your DD? So she's
too
> passive aggressive to talk to you directly? It seems to me I'd confront
her
> about *that*. "If you have something you want to ask me about, ask *me*.

Just to clarify, DH's family all talk to each other every day on the phone.
SIL lives in another city but everyone else is here.

Without sounding like a total b****, MIL, FIL and SIL don't have much to
talk about (they're not interested in much of anything and don't read much
or watch the news) so I'm a great topic of conversation (as is any bit of
gossip). I'd approach SIL about it, but this is the way the family's been
forever, so it's one of those things that I accept as unchangeable.
--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03

[teapot]

"Clare L" > wrote in message >...
> >
> > Sometimes I swear she was raised by a pack of wolves!
> >
> > Diana
> > TTC#1 since June 03
> >
> > --
> >
> >
> Can't have been a pack of wolves....they look after their young and so she'd
> know better!
>
yes and wolves are big on bf and dont read gina ford!

teapot

[Belphoebe]

"Melissa" > wrote in message
news:bXVgb.704875$YN5.574793@sccrnsc01...
> > "Melissa" > wrote
> > > SIL keeps wondering (aloud, to her mother and father who live here and
> are
> > > already concerned about my parenting) when I'll be putting DD on a
> > schedule.
>
> "Belphoebe" > wrote
> > So let me get this straight. Your SIL comes over and asks MIL and
FIL--in
> > your presence--when you're going to start scheduling your DD? So she's
> too
> > passive aggressive to talk to you directly? It seems to me I'd confront
> her
> > about *that*. "If you have something you want to ask me about, ask
*me*.
>
> Just to clarify, DH's family all talk to each other every day on the
phone.
> SIL lives in another city but everyone else is here.

Ah, okay--I'd imagined she actually came into your home and asked your
inlaws these questions in your presence!

Belphoebe

[iphigenia]

Clare L wrote:
>
> Can't have been a pack of wolves....they look after their young and
> so she'd know better!

Heh. Makes me think of that Quizno's ad on TV...

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."