So frustrated

[Cheryl S.]

DS nursed once last evening on the left side only when I tried lying
down, and once during the night, but this morning is still refusing,
even when lying down. No matter what I do, he will not nurse on my left
side. He won't even latch. He just screams around the nipple. This is
the third day of this. Now I am spending 20 minutes pumping after
feeding him, plus washing up time, as if I didn't have enough to do,
while he fusses and cries and I'm unable to pick him up. My pump output
is steadily decreasing each time. He was up four times from 1:00 am to
7:00 am this morning, probably because he's not getting enough to eat
from only one side, meanwhile I'm losing supply in the other. How long
can this go on until I end up having to supplement - the thought of
which brings tears to my eyes? I am so frustrated by all this and get
so stressed out listening to him fuss while I pump. Why can't he just
*eat*? I am already so sick of fooling around with that stupid
contraption instead of seeing my sweet baby's face at my breast. I've
got a whole new respect for moms that pump on a regular basis.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Shannon G]

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> DS nursed once last evening on the left side only when I tried lying
> down, and once during the night, but this morning is still refusing,
> even when lying down. No matter what I do, he will not nurse on my left
> side. He won't even latch. He just screams around the nipple. This is
> the third day of this. Now I am spending 20 minutes pumping after
> feeding him, plus washing up time, as if I didn't have enough to do,
> while he fusses and cries and I'm unable to pick him up. My pump output
> is steadily decreasing each time. He was up four times from 1:00 am to
> 7:00 am this morning, probably because he's not getting enough to eat
> from only one side, meanwhile I'm losing supply in the other. How long
> can this go on until I end up having to supplement - the thought of
> which brings tears to my eyes? I am so frustrated by all this and get
> so stressed out listening to him fuss while I pump. Why can't he just
> *eat*? I am already so sick of fooling around with that stupid
> contraption instead of seeing my sweet baby's face at my breast. I've
> got a whole new respect for moms that pump on a regular basis.
> --
> Cheryl S.
> Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
> And Jaden, 2 months
>

I have not read your previous posts but have you ruled out an ear infection
or something else that might be going on where one side is avoided?

Shannon

[badgirl]

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> DS nursed once last evening on the left side only when I tried lying
> down, and once during the night, but this morning is still refusing,
> even when lying down. No matter what I do, he will not nurse on my left
> side. He won't even latch. He just screams around the nipple. This is
> the third day of this. Now I am spending 20 minutes pumping after
> feeding him, plus washing up time, as if I didn't have enough to do,
> while he fusses and cries and I'm unable to pick him up. My pump output
> is steadily decreasing each time. He was up four times from 1:00 am to
> 7:00 am this morning, probably because he's not getting enough to eat
> from only one side, meanwhile I'm losing supply in the other. How long
> can this go on until I end up having to supplement - the thought of
> which brings tears to my eyes? I am so frustrated by all this and get
> so stressed out listening to him fuss while I pump. Why can't he just
> *eat*? I am already so sick of fooling around with that stupid
> contraption instead of seeing my sweet baby's face at my breast. I've
> got a whole new respect for moms that pump on a regular basis.
> --
> Cheryl S.
> Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
> And Jaden, 2 months
>
> Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
> shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.
>
>

Cheryl, he may have an ear infection. Have you taken him to the ped to let
them take a look? That would be the first thing I would think of at only 2
months old he shouldn't be having a strike.

Jen ;)

[Cheryl S.]

badgirl > wrote in message
news:bx5wb.284605$Tr4.874458@attbi_s03...
> Cheryl, he may have an ear infection. Have you taken him to
> the ped to let them take a look? That would be the first thing
> I would think of at only 2 months old he shouldn't be having
> a strike.

Thanks Shannon and Jen. He was at the doctor just the day before this
all started, because I suspected reflux (he cried really hard, a pain
cry, a couple of times - *after* burping - and I could hear liquid come
up in his throat but he didn't spit up). The doctor looked in his ears
then and presumably they were fine since she didn't say anything. He
hasn't had a cold at all. Can he get an ear infection so suddenly,
without having been sick at all? The doctor prescribed Zantac which I
gave him Wed afternoon, Thurs morning and Fri morning. He *hates* the
Zantac and didn't seem to actually swallow any of it. When I gave it to
him Fri he cried so hard with it in his mouth, it came out his nose.
The cure seemed worse than the disease. So I haven't given it to him
since. The one-sided strike started Friday morning. Could the Zantac
have caused it? Since it came out his nose, did the Zantac also go in
his ear? It was his right nostril that it came out through, so if it
went in the right ear as well, it would make sense he doesn't want to
lie on that side. So what in the heck do I do about *that*?
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Dawn Lawson]

Cheryl S. wrote:
> badgirl > wrote in message
> news:bx5wb.284605$Tr4.874458@attbi_s03...
>
>>Cheryl, he may have an ear infection. Have you taken him to
>>the ped to let them take a look? That would be the first thing
>>I would think of at only 2 months old he shouldn't be having
>>a strike.
>
>
> Thanks Shannon and Jen. He was at the doctor just the day before this
> all started, because I suspected reflux (he cried really hard, a pain
> cry, a couple of times - *after* burping - and I could hear liquid come
> up in his throat but he didn't spit up).

My DS was the same way, no treatment, typically goes away at 3mo.

The doctor looked in his ears
> then and presumably they were fine since she didn't say anything. He
> hasn't had a cold at all. Can he get an ear infection so suddenly,
> without having been sick at all?

I think so, but...
The one-sided strike started Friday morning. Could the Zantac
> have caused it? Since it came out his nose, did the Zantac also go in
> his ear? It was his right nostril that it came out through, so if it
> went in the right ear as well, it would make sense he doesn't want to
> lie on that side.

I wonder if it's his sinuses or his ear that hurts when he's tipped on
that side. IOW, I wonder if the Santac got into his sinuses like if you
get pool water up your snoot and it feels yukky for a while?
Does he complain about being laid on that side if he's not nursing?
What if he's got a pacifier or something so that he's sucking?
(Aren't these mystery nursing problems tough to solve?!)

[Cheryl S.]

Dawn Lawson > wrote in message
news:BE7wb.477119$6C4.426109@pd7tw1no...
> I wonder if it's his sinuses or his ear that hurts when
> he's tipped on that side. IOW, I wonder if the Santac
> got into his sinuses like if you get pool water up your
> snoot and it feels yukky for a while? Does he complain
> about being laid on that side if he's not nursing? What
> if he's got a pacifier or something so that he's sucking?
> (Aren't these mystery nursing problems tough to solve?!)

That's part of what makes so little sense to me. Once or twice, he's
nursed on the left side if we're both lying down. But his body position
looks exactly the same to me in that position as when he's in the cradle
hold. What difference could it make what position *I'm* in? It's
definitely not something I'm eating, right? Because that would affect
both sides the same? I keep feeling uncomfortably "full", so that gets
me worried that he's not eating enough, though his diaper counts are
normal and he's making tears when he cries. I'll definitely take him in
to get his ear looked at tomorrow (Monday).

A couple hours ago, I'm happy to say he nursed on the left side using
sort of a football hold, though not for as long as he usually eats. He
was sitting almost completely straight up next to me on the couch,
facing me, with his feet against the back of the couch. A while later
he was fussy (DD stopped the swing from swinging) so I offered the right
side but he just cried more. Nothing made him happy. 1/2 hour later I
offered again and that time he nursed on the right side for 20 minutes
then fell asleep. I held him for a while but then he woke up and fussed
until I put him in the swing. He's sleeping peacefully in the swing
now - what a relief! I feel sad that he's so often happier in the swing
than with me holding him, but I guess if it's more comforting to him,
that's what is important. It wouldn't be very "AP" to make him cry by
holding him when he could be in the swing and not crying, I suppose. I
haven't given him a pacifier in several weeks because he always just
spit them out immediately, so I don't know what effect those would have.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[JennP]

"Shannon G" > wrote in message
news:Ou5wb.33910$yJ.32332@okepread02...

> I have not read your previous posts but have you ruled out an ear
infection
> or something else that might be going on where one side is avoided?

I was wondering the exact same thing. Maybe lying on that side to nurse is
causing pressure somehow? I think I'd call the ped on this one, Cheryl. Just
to rule anything out.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

[[email protected]]

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message >...
> DS nursed once last evening on the left side only when I tried lying
> down, and once during the night, but this morning is still refusing,
> even when lying down. No matter what I do, he will not nurse on my left
> side. He won't even latch. He just screams around the nipple.

Seconding the ear infection thoughts, plus I'm wondering if you've
tried a football hold on that side. If it's the positioning that's
bothering him, it might help.

> This is
> the third day of this. Now I am spending 20 minutes pumping after
> feeding him, plus washing up time, as if I didn't have enough to do,
> while he fusses and cries and I'm unable to pick him up. My pump output
> is steadily decreasing each time. He was up four times from 1:00 am to
> 7:00 am this morning, probably because he's not getting enough to eat
> from only one side, meanwhile I'm losing supply in the other. How long
> can this go on until I end up having to supplement - the thought of
> which brings tears to my eyes? I am so frustrated by all this and get
> so stressed out listening to him fuss while I pump. Why can't he just
> *eat*? I am already so sick of fooling around with that stupid
> contraption instead of seeing my sweet baby's face at my breast. I've
> got a whole new respect for moms that pump on a regular basis.

IKWYM. It may not be your supply so much as your response to the
pump, FWIW. I steadily lost pump responsiveness over the week I was
teaching DS to latch but still had plenty of milk for him whenever I
was able to get him to actually latch -- I just wasn't letting down
for the pump anymore. IBCLC said something like "unfortunately,
that's fairly common"... and of course, over the long haul that
*would* compromise your supply on that side. (Don't forget, though,
that people breastfeed twins and breastfeed after single masectomies.)
I am continually amazed by the moms who are solely pumping for their
babies despite the incredible amount of work involved because they
know how much better it is for the babies to get breastmilk.

Good luck, hang in there, and all that.

--
C, mama to one year old nursling

[KarenC]

Cheryl: After three children, it is now undeniable that I have some issue
with my right side....no matter how hard I try, I end up only nursing on the
left because the output is so low on the right. Despite constant vigilence
for the past six weeks to use my right side, I barely have a trickle. The
left side compensates, however, and I nursed my other two kids for over two
years apiece, including one child who refused solids til one year old. They
were plump and healthy.

The reason I mention this is to assure you that you can nurse your son
without supplementation on one side. It's a supply and demand system, and
your working side will compensate. You just need to give the system a few
days to catch up. Think of it as your child going through a growth spurt
and being briefly unhappy before you produce enough to satisfy him. There's
no need - and indeed, it's counterproductive - to start supplementing.

And yes, I was, and am noticeably "lopsided" while nursing a little one, but
it goes away as the child grows, and is completely gone once I'm not
nursing.

Karen
Nursing DS (born 10/15/03)

[Cheryl S.]

> wrote in message
m...
> Seconding the ear infection thoughts, plus I'm wondering if
> you've tried a football hold on that side. If it's the positioning
> that's bothering him, it might help.

Once in a while, if he's sleepy, he'll nurse on the "bad" side in the
football hold, or side lying position. No more than once in a day
though. What I don't get is why side lying is OK but cradle hold is
not. His body position doesn't look any different to me in one than the
other. We are going to the doctor in a few minutes to see if they can
find anything. I also want to see how much he weighs compared to last
Wednesday. What's funny is he's always been particular about what side
he nurses on. From very early on, maybe by two weeks old, if I gave him
the wrong side first he'd scream bloody murder, then I'd switch sides
and he'd hoover right on, happy as a lark. It just wasn't always the
same side up until now.

> IKWYM. It may not be your supply so much as your response
> to the pump, FWIW. <snip anecdote>

Thanks, that is reassuring to know.

> I am continually amazed by the moms who are solely pumping
> for their babies despite the incredible amount of work involved
> because they know how much better it is for the babies to get
> breastmilk.

Yes, that is really a super-human effort.

Will update this afternoon with what the doctor says.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Bruce and Jeanne]

Cheryl S. wrote:

> DS nursed once last evening on the left side only when I tried lying
> down, and once during the night, but this morning is still refusing,
> even when lying down. No matter what I do, he will not nurse on my left
> side. He won't even latch. He just screams around the nipple. This is
> the third day of this. Now I am spending 20 minutes pumping after
> feeding him, plus washing up time, as if I didn't have enough to do,
> while he fusses and cries and I'm unable to pick him up. My pump output
> is steadily decreasing each time. He was up four times from 1:00 am to
> 7:00 am this morning, probably because he's not getting enough to eat
> from only one side, meanwhile I'm losing supply in the other. How long
> can this go on until I end up having to supplement - the thought of
> which brings tears to my eyes? I am so frustrated by all this and get
> so stressed out listening to him fuss while I pump. Why can't he just
> *eat*? I am already so sick of fooling around with that stupid
> contraption instead of seeing my sweet baby's face at my breast. I've
> got a whole new respect for moms that pump on a regular basis.
>

At this point, I would just decrease the pumping on the left side and
exclusively nurse your son on the right side. A friend of mine had the
same problem with both kids. With the first child, she did what you're
doing and got frustrated. With the second child when it occurred again,
she just went with it and only nursed on her right side. She was able to
nurse the baby without any supplementing but her right side was a lot
larger than her left.

Jeanne

[Cheryl S.]

"KarenC" > wrote in message
...
> Cheryl: After three children, it is now undeniable that I have
> some issue with my right side....no matter how hard I try,
> I end up only nursing on the left because the output is so low
> on the right. Despite constant vigilence for the past six weeks
> to use my right side, I barely have a trickle. The left side
> compensates, however, and I nursed my other two kids for
> over two years apiece, including one child who refused solids
> til one year old. They were plump and healthy.
>
> The reason I mention this is to assure you that you can nurse
> your son without supplementation on one side. It's a supply
> and demand system, and your working side will compensate.
> You just need to give the system a few days to catch up. Think
> of it as your child going through a growth spurt and being briefly
> unhappy before you produce enough to satisfy him. There's no
> need - and indeed, it's counterproductive - to start supplementing.
>
> And yes, I was, and am noticeably "lopsided" while nursing a little
> one, but it goes away as the child grows, and is completely gone
> once I'm not nursing.

Thanks for telling me this. I had read in Nursing Mother's Companion
that one side can be sufficient, but it's more "real" to hear from
someone whose kids were actually fine that way. It's great to hear they
didn't need supplementing. It was just like a growth spurt this
weekend - nursing every two hours, all night as well, when he had been
sleeping for 6 hours straight, nursing, then back to sleep for another
3-4 hours. I don't think there's any supply problem with my left side
(since I can pump pretty easily) but interestingly, Julie favored the
right side too. Just not as strongly, or as early. She nursed on both
sides pretty equally for a year, then started refusing the left side
when she started to wean herself, IIRC.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

"Bruce and Jeanne" > wrote in message
...
> At this point, I would just decrease the pumping on the left
> side and exclusively nurse your son on the right side. A friend
> of mine had the same problem with both kids. With the first
> child, she did what you're doing and got frustrated. With the
> second child when it occurred again, she just went with it and
> only nursed on her right side. She was able to nurse the baby
> without any supplementing but her right side was a lot
> larger than her left.

I will keep that in mind as an option. Thanks Jeanne. It makes pumping
more tolerable knowing I could stop if I really want to. The good part
is I'm now up to 17 oz of EBM in the fridge/freezer. I never bothered
pumping at all when nursing Julie, and it's actually nice to know it's
there, just in case.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

Well, it's not his ear. The doctor checked him out very thoroughly and
couldn't find any reason why he's preferring the right side. She tried
to observe him nursing but unfortunately he wasn't hungry so didn't
nurse on either side, but did object more strongly to the left side.
The Dr. asked if he's been extra gassy lately, which he has been, so she
thought maybe the gas pressure was somehow worse lying on his right than
his left. She advised me to start trying to get him to take the Zantac
again, or at least the Mylanta, to treat his (probable) upset stomach.
After we got home, I offered the left side first when he got hungry and
he complained but then took it! Only through the first let down, but
it's big progress! He then ate a lot on the right side and was a bit
fussy after that so I gave him a dose of Mylanta and he did seem to feel
better. <sigh of relief>
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Chotii]

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> Well, it's not his ear. The doctor checked him out very thoroughly and
> couldn't find any reason why he's preferring the right side. She tried
> to observe him nursing but unfortunately he wasn't hungry so didn't
> nurse on either side, but did object more strongly to the left side.
> The Dr. asked if he's been extra gassy lately, which he has been, so she
> thought maybe the gas pressure was somehow worse lying on his right than
> his left. She advised me to start trying to get him to take the Zantac
> again, or at least the Mylanta, to treat his (probable) upset stomach.
> After we got home, I offered the left side first when he got hungry and
> he complained but then took it! Only through the first let down, but
> it's big progress! He then ate a lot on the right side and was a bit
> fussy after that so I gave him a dose of Mylanta and he did seem to feel
> better. <sigh of relief>

When my eldest was a baby, she got a preference for one side. I forget which
one. But to get her to take it, I had to fake her out: make her think she
was on the other side, by doing a cradle or cross-cradle hold for the
preferred side, and a clutch (football) hold for the disliked side. Faked
her out, I tell you. :)

--angela