Fight with a friend

[AlenasMom]

Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
hours long! She's mad at this!

The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D

But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
generations. (Not all true at all.)

Any advice???


--
Lina
Alena born July 1st, 2003
www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
validate the email address before sending.

[She's A Goddess]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

<snip story of idiot friend>

> Any advice???

Umm...let her leave the wedding party? Seriously, in order to stand up for
the bride you've got to make the best of the situation which will probably
mean not discussing it with her. Maybe even have the "I know we disagree
about nursing...lets agree to disagree" conversation. It might just cause
you less stress to smile and nod if she does bring up breastfeeding rather
than fight back with her. Easier said than done, I know :)

Good luck!

--
Rhiannon
Mom to M. Girl (27 months) and O. Boy (5 months)

[badgirl]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
> I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> hours long! She's mad at this!
>
> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
>
> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>
> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> Any advice???
>
>
> --
> Lina
> Alena born July 1st, 2003
> www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
> validate the email address before sending.
>
>

It's not her business who else is in the wedding party. It is the brides
decision not hers and if she has a problem with you doing what's healthy for
both you and your child then let her leave the wedding party. Yes the bride
will be conflicted but unfortunately that's unavoidable. Don't think that by
you leaving instead that you will cause less stress on the bride, obviously
she wants you both there or she wouldn't have invited you both. Let the one
with the problem be the ass and walk out on the bride.
And IMO she is not *fine* she is an idiot and her behavior dictates that all
too clearly. I feel sorry for any children she has, her attitude is what's
disgusting. Snotty little stuck up twit needs to learn when to keep her
opinions to herself and not engage her mouth.
As far as the shower is concerned I wouldn't plan it with her. I would give
her a call and let her know that since she is so against your choices then
obviously you won't be able to agree on anything to do with the party and
either do it yourself or pick someone else to help you plan it. There is no
way I would opt to spend one more second than neccessary with someone who
told me my childrearing choices were disgusting.

Jen

[Herself]

badgirl > wrote:

> It's not her business who else is in the wedding party. It is the brides
> decision not hers and if she has a problem with you doing what's healthy for
> both you and your child then let her leave the wedding party. Yes the bride
> will be conflicted but unfortunately that's unavoidable. Don't think that by
> you leaving instead that you will cause less stress on the bride, obviously
> she wants you both there or she wouldn't have invited you both. Let the one
> with the problem be the ass and walk out on the bride.

Well said!!!

> And IMO she is not *fine* she is an idiot and her behavior dictates that all
> too clearly. I feel sorry for any children she has, her attitude is what's
> disgusting. Snotty little stuck up twit needs to learn when to keep her
> opinions to herself and not engage her mouth.

Damn...can't we have a world-wide meet? I gotta meet all of you!! This
is just...classic.

> As far as the shower is concerned I wouldn't plan it with her. I would give
> her a call and let her know that since she is so against your choices then
> obviously you won't be able to agree on anything to do with the party and
> either do it yourself or pick someone else to help you plan it. There is no
> way I would opt to spend one more second than neccessary with someone who
> told me my childrearing choices were disgusting.

WHOO HOO!!!!!!!

Okay, wait, I agree with everyone else, calling and saying "Let's put
this aside for the sake of our friend", but I'd LOVE to call this woman
up and tell her where she can shove her tired-ass story of "we're better
than previous generations" (yeah, all those chemicals pumped into you
from a young age...I bet you have ulcers, and heartburn, and and
and...well she must, since she's so uptight).

<snort> I love the Jens on here :-)
--
'Tis Herself

[Herself]

AlenasMom > wrote:

> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

Come on...tell her about the mom on here who nursed til her daughter was
6. I can't remember who, but I DARE you!!! <heheheh>

> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
> I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> hours long! She's mad at this!

No, get a nice satin sling made, to match the dresses, and nurse at the
altar :-).

> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

Tell her to go eat her damn dinner in there...if no one else had a
problem, including the restaurant owner, than she shouldn't.

> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D

Thank god for smart friends, eh?

> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)

Ask her about the huge rise in food allergies (ooooh, I kill myself).

Ask her why they are there then. And tell her that even the formula
makers say that NOTHING is as good as mama milk. So there. And know
that you are in the right, your friend the bride knows you're in the
right, and this woman is an ass :-).

<takes off Lactivist hat...ooohhh...we should get you one for next time
you see her!!!!>
--
'Tis Herself

[DGoree]

"AlenasMom" wrote,

<<She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
generations. (Not all true at all.)>>

Yeah, well, I was formula fed and I'm not just fine. I wish every idiot who
has used this line (and it's been said to me) could experience what it was like
when I was so very ill with ulcerative colitis. And could share my experience
with annual colonoscopies for the rest of my life.

(yes, yes, I know that some people who are breastfed still develop bowel
disease, but formula feeding has been shown to raise the risk. I will never
know if being fed soy formula from birth is what tipped the scales for me but
you can bet it was a big factor in choosing to nurse my own children.)

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)

[Karlee in Kansas]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
| Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
| bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
| All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
| my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
because
| I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

<snippage>

| Any advice???

Hi Lina...it's me from the other group. The mouthy one. <grins> Since
I've had a lot of practice with the "AAP and WHO Guidelines Speech" (see my
previous ranting post about my idiot family, and earlier posts about morons
at my son's school) if you wanted to pass along her phone number I'd be
more than delighted to give her a run for her money. Not only would I give
her the Guidelines Rant but I'd throw in a "Grow Up And Act Your Age And
Not Your Shoe Size Rant" for good measure. In the mean time, realize that
as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they are
in diapers. Yes, she probably needs a "Legally Stupid" sign to warn
everyone, but I've found that getting anyone other than *our* dog to wear
it is a lot harder than it sounds. Keep the following points in mind...

1) People with their nose that far in the air are more likely to have a
nosebleed than those of us who see you on your level (the reverse is also
true...those who look down their nose at you will dump all the **** off
their brown nose into your lap...best to steer clear of them as well)
2) It is NOT *her* wedding to set the standards for. When she becomes a
bride, she can become bridezilla all she wants, but this is your other
friends wedding and the one in question should just keep her mouth shut,
and when such time occurs (she happens to get married), you can either opt
for or against being part of her wedding party if she requests it. Not her
wedding, not her rules.
3) People that are that snotty, and people that are rude about what is
REALLY best for the child, are probably rude to waiters. People that are
nice to you, but are not nice to waiters, are not nice people.
4) People that are considered snotty, stuck up, pedantic (I love that
word), rude, and selfish, are rarely happy people. They aren't happy, so
they insist that everyone around them be as miserable as they are, and will
go to any lengths to see that happen. If you need a real life story on
that, I'll tell you about the mother-in-law-from-hell. Surround yourself
with happy supportive people and tell the rest of em to go lay an egg.

Have some chocolate, treat yourself to a FQ and a bubble bath, visit my
"stress relief" post on the other ng and learn to dance the angry dance
(yes, all that stomping and whomping really does make you feel better).

Stick with us...we will help you through it, even if it means that we have
to call this chick en mass and open a can of whoopass on her.

Hugs,
Karlee in Kansas, probably not taking the most mature of all routes with
this, but sometimes you have to stoop to a new low to get your point
across.
Queen of Packrats
~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

[JennP]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler

What a drama queen. Give me a f*&$ing break. It's not her wedding. Wait, let
me guess. She's not married yet and is living vicariously through the bride?
Ugh!

> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D

Then she is who matters, not this bridesmaidzilla (didn't know there was
such thing? ;) Is this bridesmaid a friend or an aquaintance? If she's not a
friend then I would just chalk her up as kooky, grit your teeth and try to
get through the shower and all. If she gives you a hard time then just say,
"Well, <bride's name> doesn't have a problem with it and this is *her*
occasion not yours".

--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

[badgirl]

"Herself" > wrote in message
...
> badgirl > wrote:
>
> > It's not her business who else is in the wedding party. It is the brides
> > decision not hers and if she has a problem with you doing what's healthy
for
> > both you and your child then let her leave the wedding party. Yes the
bride
> > will be conflicted but unfortunately that's unavoidable. Don't think
that by
> > you leaving instead that you will cause less stress on the bride,
obviously
> > she wants you both there or she wouldn't have invited you both. Let the
one
> > with the problem be the ass and walk out on the bride.
>
> Well said!!!
>

Thank you ;)

> > And IMO she is not *fine* she is an idiot and her behavior dictates that
all
> > too clearly. I feel sorry for any children she has, her attitude is
what's
> > disgusting. Snotty little stuck up twit needs to learn when to keep her
> > opinions to herself and not engage her mouth.
>
> Damn...can't we have a world-wide meet? I gotta meet all of you!! This
> is just...classic.
>

I'm in the Chicago area if you're ever close. I doubt you'd want to meet me
though, I'm awfully boring LOL

> > As far as the shower is concerned I wouldn't plan it with her. I would
give
> > her a call and let her know that since she is so against your choices
then
> > obviously you won't be able to agree on anything to do with the party
and
> > either do it yourself or pick someone else to help you plan it. There is
no
> > way I would opt to spend one more second than neccessary with someone
who
> > told me my childrearing choices were disgusting.
>
> WHOO HOO!!!!!!!
>
> Okay, wait, I agree with everyone else, calling and saying "Let's put
> this aside for the sake of our friend", but I'd LOVE to call this woman
> up and tell her where she can shove her tired-ass story of "we're better
> than previous generations" (yeah, all those chemicals pumped into you
> from a young age...I bet you have ulcers, and heartburn, and and
> and...well she must, since she's so uptight).

Yea, I kind of went into Bitch mode last night. I just couldn't believe
someone's *friend* would behave that way, especially at the cost of the
brides feelings. It is a priveledge to be asked to be a part of someones
wedding and frankly anyone that gets asked should feel special and act
accordingly but not in the selfish way IYKWIM.
We recently had a wedding to deal with, my daughter was invited to be a Jr
Bridesmaid, the bride isn't one of my favorite people (ok, I can't stand the
high maintenance little bitch) but I made it an extreme point to behave
myself and put my feelings aside so that things would go as smoothly as
possible for my daughter and for the bride.
I guess if it were someone in the mall or something making comments like
that I would have felt a little less strongly and not suggested such a
reaction, but this person is supposed to be a *friend*. Friends don't treat
eachother like that.

Ok, I'm now rambling ;)
Jen
>
> <snort> I love the Jens on here :-)
> --
> 'Tis Herself

[Herself]

Karlee in Kansas > wrote:

> Stick with us...we will help you through it, even if it means that we have
> to call this chick en mass and open a can of whoopass on her.

Damn, I love this group.
--
'Tis Herself

[Herself]

badgirl > wrote:

> I'm in the Chicago area if you're ever close. I doubt you'd want to meet me
> though, I'm awfully boring LOL

hehehe..yeah, but get us all into a room together, and we'd be
*classic*.

> We recently had a wedding to deal with, my daughter was invited to be a Jr
> Bridesmaid, the bride isn't one of my favorite people (ok, I can't stand the
> high maintenance little bitch) but I made it an extreme point to behave
> myself and put my feelings aside so that things would go as smoothly as
> possible for my daughter and for the bride.

And I say that doing that makes everyone a better person. I bet the
b*tch didn't even try to be civil. :-)

> I guess if it were someone in the mall or something making comments like
> that I would have felt a little less strongly and not suggested such a
> reaction, but this person is supposed to be a *friend*. Friends don't treat
> eachother like that.

Exactly.

> Ok, I'm now rambling ;)

Yeah, but it's soooo much fun to read!!! :-)
--
'Tis Herself

[iphigenia]

AlenasMom wrote:
>All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were
> talking about how my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I
> told her it was because I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>

Wow, sounds like a cool bridesmaid dress...

> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in
> a voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change
> the subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't
> you think that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

*snort* Don't you feel powerful, that you can appall someone just by
nurturing your child? Man, I've never made someone turn pale, I'll have to
work on that...

>
> She said that she
> wasn't going to be in the wedding party if I was seriously going to
> be nursing my toddler (since when is a ten month old a toddler????)
> during the wedding!

Fine, let her leave.

> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it
> out during their vows, but I will nurse her after the ceremony and
> during the reception which is 6 hours long! She's mad at this!
>

I really like the idea of a matching sling being made : )

> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in
> the bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she
> could mind her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor
> eat in the bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she
> said.

Good for you. I can't believe she has the nerve to TELL you what to do!

>
> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that
> my bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>

That so rocks.

> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and
> I just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is
> disgusting and shouldn't be done, ever.

Richard's got a good point - she's got some drama going on, I'd take the
high road, approach her, and ask if you can put your differences of opinion
aside and get this shower planned, and if she can't, then offer to bow out
of the shower planning.

> She told me to my face that
> she'll never nurse because she was formula fed and she's just fine,
> and so was most of our generation and we're smarter, healthier and
> stronger than previous generations. (Not all true at all.)

I'd probably end up saying something like "You can think that if you like,
but scores of medical data prove that you're entirely wrong..." purely out
of exasperation!

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

[badgirl]

"Herself" > wrote in message
...
> badgirl > wrote:
>
>
> > We recently had a wedding to deal with, my daughter was invited to be a
Jr
> > Bridesmaid, the bride isn't one of my favorite people (ok, I can't stand
the
> > high maintenance little bitch) but I made it an extreme point to behave
> > myself and put my feelings aside so that things would go as smoothly as
> > possible for my daughter and for the bride.
>
> And I say that doing that makes everyone a better person. I bet the
> b*tch didn't even try to be civil. :-)
>

OMG that's a story all in itself. Let me just say you are SO right and by
the time it was over I was SEETHING. *smiling sweetly* But I still behaved,
not that she noticed.


Jen

[[email protected]]

badgirl > wrote:

> "Herself" > wrote in message
> ...
>> badgirl > wrote:
>>
>> > It's not her business who else is in the wedding party. It is the brides
>> > decision not hers and if she has a problem with you doing what's healthy
> for
>> > both you and your child then let her leave the wedding party. Yes the
> bride
>> > will be conflicted but unfortunately that's unavoidable. Don't think
> that by
>> > you leaving instead that you will cause less stress on the bride,
> obviously
>> > she wants you both there or she wouldn't have invited you both. Let the
> one
>> > with the problem be the ass and walk out on the bride.
>>
>> Well said!!!
>>

> Thank you ;)

>> > And IMO she is not *fine* she is an idiot and her behavior dictates that
> all
>> > too clearly. I feel sorry for any children she has, her attitude is
> what's
>> > disgusting. Snotty little stuck up twit needs to learn when to keep her
>> > opinions to herself and not engage her mouth.
>>
>> Damn...can't we have a world-wide meet? I gotta meet all of you!! This
>> is just...classic.
>>

> I'm in the Chicago area if you're ever close. I doubt you'd want to meet me
> though, I'm awfully boring LOL

I'm in Chicagoland, too, and am also boring. ;)

Manda

[AlenasMom]

"Herself" > wrote in message
...
> Karlee in Kansas > wrote:
>
> > Stick with us...we will help you through it, even if it means that we
have
> > to call this chick en mass and open a can of whoopass on her.
>
> Damn, I love this group.
> --
> 'Tis Herself

Me too. :D

[AlenasMom]

"iphigenia" > wrote in message
...
> AlenasMom wrote:
> >All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were
> > talking about how my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I
> > told her it was because I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
> >
>
> Wow, sounds like a cool bridesmaid dress...

They're absolutely beautiful! They're going to be green velvet and cream
satin There is a cutaway in the front of the skirt. I'll try not to use too
many technical terms just in case... There's a sweet heart collar and an
A-line skirt, and I'm so in love with it already!!!
>
> > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in
> > a voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change
> > the subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't
> > you think that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> *snort* Don't you feel powerful, that you can appall someone just by
> nurturing your child? Man, I've never made someone turn pale, I'll have
to
> work on that...
>

Yes. It's great! I like doing it just by wearing a certain piece of jewelry
too.
> >
> > She said that she
> > wasn't going to be in the wedding party if I was seriously going to
> > be nursing my toddler (since when is a ten month old a toddler????)
> > during the wedding!
>
> Fine, let her leave.
>
> > I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it
> > out during their vows, but I will nurse her after the ceremony and
> > during the reception which is 6 hours long! She's mad at this!
> >
>
> I really like the idea of a matching sling being made : )

Me too. I'll probably do it for after the ceremony. We're going to be there
rather late, and Alena will need somewhere to sleep.

>
> > The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in
> > the bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she
> > could mind her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor
> > eat in the bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she
> > said.
>
> Good for you. I can't believe she has the nerve to TELL you what to do!
>
> >
> > I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> > breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that
> > my bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
> >
>
> That so rocks.
>
> > But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and
> > I just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is
> > disgusting and shouldn't be done, ever.
>
> Richard's got a good point - she's got some drama going on, I'd take the
> high road, approach her, and ask if you can put your differences of
opinion
> aside and get this shower planned, and if she can't, then offer to bow
out
> of the shower planning.
>
> > She told me to my face that
> > she'll never nurse because she was formula fed and she's just fine,
> > and so was most of our generation and we're smarter, healthier and
> > stronger than previous generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> I'd probably end up saying something like "You can think that if you
like,
> but scores of medical data prove that you're entirely wrong..." purely
out
> of exasperation!
>
> --
> tristyn
> www.tristyn.net
> "i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
> i do not think that they will sing to me."
>
>

[Sara]

iphigenia wrote:

> Richard's got a good point - she's got some drama going on, I'd take the
> high road, approach her, and ask if you can put your differences of opinion
> aside and get this shower planned, and if she can't, then offer to bow out
> of the shower planning.

You all are so much more mature than I am. I want to encourage
AlenasMom to demonstrate that "in your face nursing" style we
discussed a few months ago...

--
Sara, accompanied by the napping barnacle

[Lucy]

> wrote in message ...
> badgirl > wrote:
> > I'm in the Chicago area if you're ever close. I doubt you'd want to meet
me
> > though, I'm awfully boring LOL
>
> I'm in Chicagoland, too, and am also boring. ;)
>
> Manda

Me too. Where are you all? I'm in the west suburbs.

[badgirl]

"Lucy" > wrote in message
...
> > wrote in message ...
> > badgirl > wrote:
> > > I'm in the Chicago area if you're ever close. I doubt you'd want to
meet
> me
> > > though, I'm awfully boring LOL
> >
> > I'm in Chicagoland, too, and am also boring. ;)
> >
> > Manda
>
> Me too. Where are you all? I'm in the west suburbs.
>
>

Woodridge here...SAHM, no schedule, no life LOL
Nicolas is 18 months.
Anyone wanna have a coffe/playdate kinda thing?

I'm gonna tell you first though that I smoke, so if that bugs you then it
might not be a good idea to meet. (and no I don't wanna hear it LOL)

Jen
*adding a few details just in case*

[New York Jen]

Just a thought...if you end up having it out with her...take our your boob
and give her a good squirt!

Ok, feeling aggravated, getting out some venom here...

back to your regularly scheduled programming...

- Jen
who just had an AWFUL hour in BJ's Wholesale with Laszlo who is a master at
the Terrible Two Dance...


"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
> I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> hours long! She's mad at this!
>
> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
>
> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>
> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> Any advice???
>
>
> --
> Lina
> Alena born July 1st, 2003
> www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
> validate the email address before sending.
>
>

[Lucy]

"badgirl" > wrote in message
news:ah4zb.280843$9E1.1466047@attbi_s52...
> Woodridge here...SAHM, no schedule, no life LOL
> Nicolas is 18 months.
> Anyone wanna have a coffe/playdate kinda thing?

I live in Aurora and work in Lisle, so we're pretty close. My DD is just
over a year old.

Actually, it would be kind of fun to get together. However, I work full
time, so it would have to be on a weekend.

> I'm gonna tell you first though that I smoke, so if that bugs you then it
> might not be a good idea to meet. (and no I don't wanna hear it LOL)

As an ex-smoker myself, I can't really complain. I quit when I got pregnant
and thankfully have managed not to go back! As long as you're not going to
be blowing it in my daughter's face or anything! LOL.

Lucy

[badgirl]

"New York Jen" > wrote in message
...
> Just a thought...if you end up having it out with her...take our your boob
> and give her a good squirt!
>
> Ok, feeling aggravated, getting out some venom here...
>
> back to your regularly scheduled programming...
>
> - Jen
> who just had an AWFUL hour in BJ's Wholesale with Laszlo who is a master
at
> the Terrible Two Dance...
>
>


*snickers*
ok, so that IS something I would do....is that wrong? *giggle*

Jen

[badgirl]

"Lucy" > wrote in message
...
>
> "badgirl" > wrote in message
> news:ah4zb.280843$9E1.1466047@attbi_s52...
> > Woodridge here...SAHM, no schedule, no life LOL
> > Nicolas is 18 months.
> > Anyone wanna have a coffe/playdate kinda thing?
>
> I live in Aurora and work in Lisle, so we're pretty close. My DD is just
> over a year old.
>
> Actually, it would be kind of fun to get together. However, I work full
> time, so it would have to be on a weekend.
>
> > I'm gonna tell you first though that I smoke, so if that bugs you then
it
> > might not be a good idea to meet. (and no I don't wanna hear it LOL)
>
> As an ex-smoker myself, I can't really complain. I quit when I got
pregnant
> and thankfully have managed not to go back! As long as you're not going to
> be blowing it in my daughter's face or anything! LOL.
>
> Lucy
>
>


Naah, we could plan on something where it's more airy around than usual. Or
if we go out somewhere we can sit in nonsmoking and I can just wait.

Bub's up from his nap so I'm gonna make it short. But email me offlist if
you like, maybe we can plan something :D

Jen

[Marnie]

"Lucy" > wrote in message
> > I'm in Chicagoland, too, and am also boring. ;)
> >
> > Manda
>
> Me too. Where are you all? I'm in the west suburbs.

Me three, temporarily.
--
Marnie in Wayne, which no one has heard of, but it's near St. Charles
--

[Marnie]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
news:R7Uyb.2081
> She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine

Yay! Another bunch of future children for our kids to be superior to in
general health, incidence of allergies, IQ, cancer risk, weight control,
smelly diapers, etc etc etc. ;)

If you feel you need to patch things up for the sake of the bride, that's
lovely. Friend2 (sheesh! talk about issues) needs a slap upside the head,
but as BF has so little to do with the wedding, you can offer to agree to
disagree. I hope, for the nice bride's sake, she can get past it.
--
Marnie
--

[New York Jen]

Jen, I think you and I would hit it off in real life...

"badgirl" > wrote in message
news:Xl5zb.201332$Dw6.745257@attbi_s02...
>
> "New York Jen" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Just a thought...if you end up having it out with her...take our your
boob
> > and give her a good squirt!
> >
> > Ok, feeling aggravated, getting out some venom here...
> >
> > back to your regularly scheduled programming...
> >
> > - Jen
> > who just had an AWFUL hour in BJ's Wholesale with Laszlo who is a master
> at
> > the Terrible Two Dance...
> >
> >
>
>
> *snickers*
> ok, so that IS something I would do....is that wrong? *giggle*
>
> Jen
>
>

[H Schinske]

>"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
>news:R7Uyb.2081
>> She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
>> because she was formula fed and she's just fine

Gad. I would have said "Good thing, because you'll probably produce battery
acid."

--Helen, who wouldn't really have said that at all IRL

[teapot]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message rs.com>...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

snip

Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
so well not to deck her one!

I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!

teapot

[[email protected]]

Lucy > wrote:

> "badgirl" > wrote in message
> news:ah4zb.280843$9E1.1466047@attbi_s52...
>> Woodridge here...SAHM, no schedule, no life LOL
>> Nicolas is 18 months.
>> Anyone wanna have a coffe/playdate kinda thing?

> I live in Aurora and work in Lisle, so we're pretty close. My DD is just
> over a year old.

I'm in Aurora, too! :) I work in Chicago though so I've got a bit more of a commute!

Manda

[Chotii]

"Herself" > wrote in message
...
> AlenasMom > wrote:
>
> > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> > voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> > subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> > that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> Come on...tell her about the mom on here who nursed til her daughter was
> 6. I can't remember who, but I DARE you!!! <heheheh>
>
> > I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> > herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into
another
> > room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> > hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> > the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler
(since
> > when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!


This doesn't sound like a matter of 'always being a perfectionist about
manners'. This sounds like this lady has Issues with a capital Ish. I mean,
*who* turns *pale* at the very thought of breastfeeding a child at a wedding
(or anywhere else, for that matter)? That's a woman with a body-image
problem, who cannot imagine someone else having a different body image.

The other thing that springs to mind is, perhaps this woman was sexually
abused as a child? I've heard of situations where a woman was sexually
abused as a child, and *cannot* bring herself to suckle an infant as a
result, or even to think of it. I have a friend, in fact, who was sexually
abused as a child (by a woman) and cannot bring herself to be near my
children for more than a short while, and especially can't stand being
hugged and mauled by them, which of course the kids do to everybody they
like.

But I do have to agree: if the woman cannot allow the bride to have the
wedding as the bride sees fit, then the woman should not be in the wedding
party.

--angela

[H Schinske]

angela wrote:

>This doesn't sound like a matter of 'always being a perfectionist about
>manners'. This sounds like this lady has Issues with a capital Ish.

What a *great* expression. I must steal it.

I mean,
>*who* turns *pale* at the very thought of breastfeeding a child at a wedding
>(or anywhere else, for that matter)?

Well, to be fair, it sounded to me a little as though she thought the OP meant
to nurse *during the ceremony*, which might indeed be cause for a little
concern at a very formal wedding like this. Or that she meant to nurse with the
whole bodice half pulled down at the reception, which I also rather doubt.

Personally, if it were me and I wanted to carry the baby around and nurse her
whenever during the reception, I'd change out of the bridesmaid dress anyway,
but it doesn't sound like that kind of party. It sounds like "leaving the dance
floor for a while to go nurse the baby in Room X somewhere". In which case, I
don't see that it matters AT ALL whether you're feeding the baby breastmilk
from the tap, or strained bananas. It doesn't matter a damn to anyone else.

--Helen

[Larry McMahan]

AlenasMom > writes:
: Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
: bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
: All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
: my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
: I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

: She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
: voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
: subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
: that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

: I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
: herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
: room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
: hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
: the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
: when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
: I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
: I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
: hours long! She's mad at this!

: The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
: bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
: her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
: bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

: I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
: breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
: bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D

: But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
: just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
: shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
: because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
: generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
: generations. (Not all true at all.)

: Any advice???

Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.

Sigh,
Larry

: --
: Lina
: Alena born July 1st, 2003
: www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
: validate the email address before sending.

[Larry McMahan]

OK. This is terrible bitchy advice. Read Richard's post instead
and do what he says.

:-)
Larry

Larry McMahan > writes:
: AlenasMom > writes:
: : Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
: : bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
: : All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
: : my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
: : I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

: : She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
: : voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
: : subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
: : that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

: : I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
: : herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
: : room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
: : hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
: : the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
: : when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
: : I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
: : I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
: : hours long! She's mad at this!

: : The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
: : bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
: : her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
: : bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

: : I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
: : breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
: : bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D

: : But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
: : just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
: : shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
: : because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
: : generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
: : generations. (Not all true at all.)

: : Any advice???

: Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.

: Sigh,
: Larry

: : --
: : Lina
: : Alena born July 1st, 2003
: : www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
: : validate the email address before sending.

[Marvin L. Zinn]

Lina,

> She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine,
>
Maybe it was the formula that made her stupid? Tell
her to take up her complaints with God, because He is
the one who gave you the ability to feed a baby as a
baby is made to be fed!

marvin

Marvin L. Zinn
Reply to:
Using Virtual Access
Windows 2000 build 2600

[A&G&K]

"Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
...
In the mean time, realize that
> as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
are
> in diapers.
LOL
Oh man that just craked me up :) ... I've never heard it before :) (mind if
I use it?)
Amanda
--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003

[[email protected]]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message rs.com>...

> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> Any advice???

Yeah -- nurse in front of her as often as you have the opportunity and
then take the verbal high road. :-) She's trying to change your
behavior by shaming you into stopping just because *she* isn't
comfortable with it, and that's just too obnoxious to be dignified
with any response. Imagine her complaining about an adult's medical
needs, like a heart attack patient on a non-fat diet, and getting
anywhere at all...

If she insists on bringing it up, say something about how you're going
to follow the AAP and WHO guidelines, of course, and hey, what about
the centerpieces or whatever? It is recommended medical practice,
after all, and you can always act surprised that she would seriously
suggest subverting it.

I *love* the matching sling idea.

--
C, mama to one year old nursling

[A&G&K]

"New York Jen" > wrote in message
...
> Just a thought...if you end up having it out with her...take our your boob
> and give her a good squirt!
>
> Ok, feeling aggravated, getting out some venom here...
>
> back to your regularly scheduled programming...
>
> - Jen
> who just had an AWFUL hour in BJ's Wholesale with Laszlo who is a master
at
> the Terrible Two Dance...
>
LOL *snort!* I have to admit that thought has crossed my mind before when
having an argument about my bf DD with a friend of a friend ... I refrained
though, but its nice to see somebody else has these evil thoughts :)
Amanda

[A&G&K]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
> I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> hours long! She's mad at this!
>
> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
>
> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>
> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> Any advice???
>
>
> --
> Lina
> Alena born July 1st, 2003
> www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
> validate the email address before sending.
>
>

Oh Lina - this is really a hard situation, but please don't feel threatened
by this silly girl. Next time she demands you go bf in the *toilet* then
feel free to demand she join you there with her dinner. This is easier said
than done.
I can be a right cheeky cow when I want to be though so I'd probably settle
for bf in front of her at every chance I get. Also - I'd try to be
proactive by calling her, and saying that you will not change your mind
about bf and if she has a problem that is sad, but couldn't you put your
differences aside for your friend the bride (pointing out that the bride
seems fine with this). being the bigger person makes it hard for her to
look justified at all in her responses.
There will be no convincing her that bf is great, but I'd just rebut any of
her comments (that smarter / healthier stronger one is such a load of BS)
with a few carefully chosen facts about bf humans being definitely
healthier, smarter and stronger as a population .....
Hang in there and vent to us if you need to.
Amanda

[badgirl]

"New York Jen" > wrote in message
...
> Jen, I think you and I would hit it off in real life...
>

I tend to be an obnoxious bitch when the opportunity calls for it :D
I can't stand to see people get walked all over and I refuse to be walked
over myself so I have always stood up for what I believe in....even if it's
out of line unfortunately ;(

Jen

[Karlee in Kansas]

"A&G&K" > wrote in message
...
|
| "Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
| ...
| In the mean time, realize that
| > as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
| are
| > in diapers.
| LOL
| Oh man that just craked me up :) ... I've never heard it before :) (mind
if
| I use it?)
| Amanda
| --
| DD 15th August 2002
| 1 tiny angel Nov 2003

Be my guest!!! I have tons of them....

Hugs
Karlee in Kansas

~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

[Belphoebe]

Richard wrote:
> Larry McMahan > wrote:
>> OK. This is terrible bitchy advice. Read Richard's post instead
>> and do what he says.
>
> No, Larry. We're both wrong. Lina should take Jen's advice,
> pull out her breast and give a good squirt, right in the eye!
> I hear it's good for conjunctivitis.

And for all we know, it's a cure for stickupassitis! ;)

--
Belphoebe

[chris]

DGoree wrote:

> when I was so very ill with ulcerative colitis. And could share my experience
> with annual colonoscopies for the rest of my life.
>
> (yes, yes, I know that some people who are breastfed still develop bowel
> disease, but formula feeding has been shown to raise the risk. I will never
> know if being fed soy formula from birth is what tipped the scales for me but
> you can bet it was a big factor in choosing to nurse my own children.)

Whoa! Formula feeding can help lead to Ulcerative Colitis????
Yet another good argument for BF! I have UC as well and am worried
about my kids developing it. Add to those annual colonoscopies
taking a constant sea of drugs to hold flare ups at bay. I feel
like an old woman some days looking at my medicine cabinet. I'm only
29 and I'm stuck with these things forever (been taking all these
drugs for 4 years now <sigh>)

Where did you get that factoid from? I'd like to read up on
that myself?

Chris.
who's son demostrates how well his bowels work on a regular
basis (and is doing it right now.)

[DGoree]

chris wrote,

<<Whoa! Formula feeding can help lead to Ulcerative Colitis????>>

Yup. It isn't a straight association but it does raise the risk.

Found this at http://www.unicef.org/pon97/nutr1b.htm

<<The risk, though, is not just in the developing world. In terms of lifelong
chronic illness in industrialized countries, formula-fed babies have increased
levels of asthma, allergies, eczema, diabetes and ulcerative colitis—and 5 to
8 times the risk of childhood lymphomas. Children who are not breastfed have
lower scores on mental development tests and their vision is not as sharp. It
is all noted in the scientific literature.Â*>>

And this at http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm

<<While the dangers of artificial feeding in industrialized countries are not
of the order of magnitude that they are in developing countries (i.e., infant
deaths ten times the rate of breastfed babies), there are still substantial
health consequences to the choice of infant feeding method. For example, the
use of formula instead breastfeeding in industrialized countries is associated
with:
• More cases, and more severe cases, of respiratory and gastrointestinal
infections.<A HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#infection"> (1)
Â*</A>
• Lower scores on tests of neurological development.<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#brain"> (2)</A>
• Increased risk of allergies and greater intensity of problems from
allergies.<A HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#allergy"> (3)</A>
• Increased risk of childhood lymphomas (cancer).<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#cancerk"> (4)</A>
• Increased risk of breast cancer in women who were not breastfed.<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#cancerb"> (5)</A>
• Increased risk of breast cancer in mothers who don't breastfeed.<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#cancermom"> (6)</A>
• Increased risk of type I (juvenile, insulin-dependent) diabetes.<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#iddm"> (7)</A>
• Increased risk of adult intestinal disorders (ulcerative colitis,
Crohn's).<A HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#crohns"> (8)</A>
• Cardiopulmonary disturbances during bottlefeeding.<A
HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#heart"> (9)</A>
• Formula-fed babies must fast longer prior to surgery than breastfed
babies.<A HREF="http://www.promom.org/bf_info/why_bf.htm#npo"> (10)</A>>>

Even if you have pancolitis (which I do), you do not need to start annual
colonoscopies until 8 - 10 years after diagnosis. Unfortunately I was
diagnosed in 1993. Fortunately, my disease has been in remission ever since
(helped along with Asacol) but even so, if there is any evidence of cancer or
precancerous changes, out comes my colon. Why anyone who has an alternative
would choose to raise their children's risk for this sort of thing is beyond
me.

I occasionally lurk on the crohn's-colitis support newsgroup. Every so often
someone posts questions about pregnancy/breastfeeding and IBD medications. It
is disheartening how often I have read about mothers who choose not to
breastfeed their children because they are concerned about the risk their
medication poses, unaware that formula feeding is a far greater risk. I answer
with my own experience when I can and have referred people to Hale's, but
sometimes it seems as if people make up their minds, then try to justify.

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)

[P. G. Chavez]

chris wrote and I snipped:
>
> Whoa! Formula feeding can help lead to Ulcerative Colitis????
> Yet another good argument for BF! I have UC as well and am worried
> about my kids developing it.
>
> Where did you get that factoid from? I'd like to read up on
> that myself?

Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) policy statement:

http://www.aap.org/policy/re9729.html

The above mentions a decreased risk of UC in the breastfed. Perhaps you
can find the study in Reference 29.

There's another study referenced in #39 of 101 Reasons to Breastfeed
Your Child:

http://www.promom.org/101/

HTH,
-Patty, mom to Corinne [Mar-98] and Nathan [May-00]
and stepmom to Victoria [Apr-90]

[badgirl]

"Belphoebe" > wrote in message
...
> Richard wrote:
> > Larry McMahan > wrote:
> >> OK. This is terrible bitchy advice. Read Richard's post instead
> >> and do what he says.
> >
> > No, Larry. We're both wrong. Lina should take Jen's advice,
> > pull out her breast and give a good squirt, right in the eye!
> > I hear it's good for conjunctivitis.
>
> And for all we know, it's a cure for stickupassitis! ;)
>
> --
> Belphoebe
>
>

No no no, the cure for that is a plexotomy. What they do is they make a hole
in the front of someones belly and insert a large piece of
plexiglass......you know, so the person who's head is shoved that far up
their ass can at least see where they're going <grin>

Jen

[AlenasMom]

"H Schinske" > wrote in message
...
> angela wrote:
>
> >This doesn't sound like a matter of 'always being a perfectionist about
> >manners'. This sounds like this lady has Issues with a capital Ish.
>
> What a *great* expression. I must steal it.
>
> I mean,
> >*who* turns *pale* at the very thought of breastfeeding a child at a
wedding
> >(or anywhere else, for that matter)?
>
> Well, to be fair, it sounded to me a little as though she thought the OP
meant
> to nurse *during the ceremony*, which might indeed be cause for a little
> concern at a very formal wedding like this. Or that she meant to nurse
with the
> whole bodice half pulled down at the reception, which I also rather
doubt.
>
> Personally, if it were me and I wanted to carry the baby around and nurse
her
> whenever during the reception, I'd change out of the bridesmaid dress
anyway,
> but it doesn't sound like that kind of party. It sounds like "leaving the
dance
> floor for a while to go nurse the baby in Room X somewhere". In which
case, I
> don't see that it matters AT ALL whether you're feeding the baby
breastmilk
> from the tap, or strained bananas. It doesn't matter a damn to anyone
else.
>
> --Helen

That's exactly how it's going to be unfortunately. This is a really high
society wedding, meaning formal wear and that's going to make it hard
enough to nurse even in another room.
Right now the plan is to ignore her

[AlenasMom]

"Sara" > wrote in message
...
> iphigenia wrote:
>
> > Richard's got a good point - she's got some drama going on, I'd take
the
> > high road, approach her, and ask if you can put your differences of
opinion
> > aside and get this shower planned, and if she can't, then offer to bow
out
> > of the shower planning.
>
> You all are so much more mature than I am. I want to encourage
> AlenasMom to demonstrate that "in your face nursing" style we
> discussed a few months ago...
>


And I do... everywhere... *looks at her still blue breast* including
outside...

[AlenasMom]

"teapot" > wrote in message
m...
> "AlenasMom" > wrote in message
rs.com>...
> > Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
her
> > bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
everything.
> > All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
how
> > my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
because
> > I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
> >
> > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> > voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> > subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> > that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> snip
>
> Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
> so well not to deck her one!
>
> I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!
>
> teapot

I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
she was in college.
I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what she
wants, then sure!

[Dawn Lawson]

AlenasMom wrote:

>
> I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> she was in college.

Wow. At this point it would be no holds barred for me.
Bad enough to project her "issues" onto you for the wedding, but to
email that kind of crap???

Dawn

[Bruce and Jeanne]

AlenasMom wrote:

>
> "teapot" > wrote in message
> m...
> > "AlenasMom" > wrote in message
> rs.com>...
> > > Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
> her
> > > bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
> everything.
> > > All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
> how
> > > my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
> because
> > > I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
> > >
> > > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> > > voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> > > subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
> think
> > > that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
> >
> > snip
> >
> > Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
> > so well not to deck her one!
> >
> > I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!
> >
> > teapot
>
> I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> she was in college.

OMG!! She emailed you ?!!

I'm pretty laid-back when it comes to differing viewpoints but this is
totally outrageous. I can't imagine what it's like dealing with such a
twit.

Jeanne

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
>She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
>she was in college.

Jeez. That's getting into sick. It's HER business what you feed your BABY,
exactly WHY?

--Helen

[Cheryl S.]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
t.cable.rogers.com...
> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning
> to breastfeed her while she was in college.

Hoo boy, this woman has SOME nerve. I'd ask her why she's so interested
in my breasts.

Side rant: I so totally do not get why so many people seem to think
that anything a baby does at X months of age, they are still going to be
doing when they are 20 years old.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[badgirl]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in >
> I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> she was in college.
> I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what she
> wants, then sure!
>
>

PLEASE give us her email !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG we would have SUCH fun with that *snicker*

I can't believe she did that to you, what a BITCH!

Jen

[AlenasMom]

"badgirl" > wrote in message
news:deuzb.19095$_M.65446@attbi_s54...
>
> "AlenasMom" > wrote in >
> > I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> > She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her
while
> > she was in college.
> > I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what
she
> > wants, then sure!
> >
> >
>
> PLEASE give us her email !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> OMG we would have SUCH fun with that *snicker*
>
> I can't believe she did that to you, what a BITCH!
>
> Jen
>

That's what I'm thinking. This wedding might end up being REALLY fun!

[Cheryl S.]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
ble.rogers.com...
> This wedding might end up being REALLY fun!
>

how about a mkb nurse-in on this woman's front lawn??
--
Cheryl S., oht
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Karlee in Kansas]

AlenasMom wrote
|
| I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
| She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
| she was in college.
| I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what
she
| wants, then sure!


Ok. Thats IT. Hand over the email address so she can get the buttwhoopin
she deserves. If you aren't willing to hand it over, feel free to forward
this rant to her, because it is directed at her.


Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
*this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN. On YOUR planet
they are obviously there for decoration. On our planet mammals have
breasts with which to feed their offspring. On homosapiens they are caled
Breasts, on bovines they are Udders, and most other mammals they are called
teats. You can call them whatever you want....knockers, boom booms,
"personality", hooters, tits, boobs, boobies, bresticles, whatever. Some
are big, some are little. Some are perky, some are droopy. Most are
natural, and some are plastic. Some are pink, some are brown, and some are
in shades between pink and brown. Some nipples are big, some are small,
some are flat, some are pointy, and some are even "innies". What you call
them, and what they look like, has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on their intended
useage. LOTS and I mean LOTS of women in this country USE them TO FEED
THEIR CHILDREN. In many many many other contries, bottles and formula are
unheard of. In that case, how do you think that the babies get fed?
Osmosis maybe? Mainstream media has turned breasts into big money makers.
Huge money makers. A lot of men (not all but quite a few) think that
breasts are there for their entertainment. Well they might be fun to play
with, but that is not their primary function. Their primary function is to
FEED CHILDREN. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning is
mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH." The AAP and WHO have
done many many studies on the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding has
been determined to make a child healthier, help the child ward off
infections, and raise a child's IQ level. It is a proven fact that
breastfed babies are happier, healthier, more adjusted, more mellow little
kids and adults than formula fed babies are. Humans need to be touched.
It is hard to intimately touch a baby in the ways that it needs to be
touched to bolster its psychological health when you are bottle feeding it.
It is recommended that an infant have skin to skin contact with its mother.
It reduces stress in the child, reduces blood pressure, and comforts a baby
in ways that words fail to describe. The easiest way to give your baby skin
to skin contact on a regular, frequent basis is through breastfeeding. You
said that you "were healthy" and you had been bottle fed. Apparently,
MANNERS were not included as one of the ingredients in your formula
feedings, because you are seriously lacking in that respect. It is NONE of
your business if Lina chooses to breastfeed her baby until the child is 80
years old if she so desires. It is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell Lina that she
shouldn't breastfeed her child as long as she wants to. It is NOT YOUR
PLACE to tell Lina that 10 months is "excessive" in length. Lets visit a
few other positive aspects of breastfeeding while we are here shall we?
Breastfeeding is good for mom too. It helps mom overcome some forms of
post partum depression. It helps mom drop weight that she gained while she
was pregnant. It is cheaper and more convenient than bottle feeding. With
bottles, you have to mix, adjust temperature, and wash the bottles. While
you are mixing the formula baby is screaming to be fed, raising its
temperature and blood pressure, and thusly the child is harder to calm when
the bottle is ready. While you are breastfeeding, the baby will start to
show various signs of hunger, so you pick the child up, pop a tit out of
your shirt and feed the baby. No one gets so angry that they pop a vein in
their forehead, no ones blood pressure goes up, and no one is screaming
bloody murder because it takes less than half the time to start nursing
than it does to prepare a bottle.

When I first started this I was angry. Now I want to cry for you and any
kids you may have. You will never feel how strong a bond between mother
and child can be. You will never benefit from the act itself
(breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer). You
will probably wind up to be a bottle proper-upper that ignores their baby
instead of taking time out of your busy day to cuddle and love him/her.
You will never have the most cherished and intimate moments of your life.
You will never see a sweet little face looking up at you with big eyes and
a grin from ear to ear and know that you are giving your child the most
pure nourishment that it can have. The act of breastfeeding is not
derogatory to women, it is empowering. The act of breastfeeding is not
"animalistic" in a bad way, you too, are an animal. The act of
breastfeeding is loving, kind, nurturing. If you want derogatory, I'd be
happy to show you to the nearest strip joint and have you reevaluate your
thoughts on breastfeeding. If you so choose to take the "animalistic"
point of view, I would very much like to hear your thoughts on sex. Yes
sex.

So take your pompous pedantic attitude and shove it. Go back to your
little perfect world where babies come out of their mommas fully dressed
and clean, and mommas feed the baby without touching and loving them while
jamming a bottle of nasty tasting crap down their throat. You go ahead and
have whatever preconceptions you want to about breastfeeding. Go ahead and
puke next time you see a mother breastfeeding and I bet she would hardly
give you a second glance because she is used to seeing vomit in all forms.
But while you are feeling ill at the thought, while you are sitting on your
high horse of self righteousness, leave Lina and her decision to breastfeed
her daughter alone. Keep your opinion to yourself. We might not change
your opinion on breastfeeding, but maybe we convince you that your opinion
won't get you anywhere. You aren't going to get her to stop breastfeeding
her daughter. Nothing that you say will change her mind. The only thing
that you will succeed in doing is to make yourself look like an ass, and
cement the thought that people have about you....the one that tells them to
steer clear because you are nothing more than a self serving snob, and no
one likes to have them around.

[Karlee in Kansas]

Lina, I just burnt dinner cause I was typing out a letter for you to email
back to her. Not from you, but from me. If you want it, email me at
mnkbrennan @ charter . net

I'm angry beyond words at this chick. She really honestly needs an ass
whoopin.


Karlee in Kansas

P.S. sorry for the top posting....

~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
t.cable.rogers.com...
|
| "teapot" > wrote in message
| m...
| > "AlenasMom" > wrote in message
| rs.com>...
| > > Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
| her
| > > bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
| everything.
| > > All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
| how
| > > my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
| because
| > > I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
| > >
| > > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in
a
| > > voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change
the
| > > subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
| think
| > > that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
| >
| > snip
| >
| > Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
| > so well not to deck her one!
| >
| > I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!
| >
| > teapot
|
| I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
| She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
| she was in college.
| I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what
she
| wants, then sure!
|
|

[Karlee in Kansas]

whoops

Looks like it sent anyway to the ng....

Pardon my embarrassment

--
Karlee in Kansas

"Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
...
| AlenasMom wrote
| |
| | I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
| | She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her
while
| | she was in college.
| | I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what
| she
| | wants, then sure!
|
|
| Ok. Thats IT. Hand over the email address so she can get the
buttwhoopin
| she deserves. If you aren't willing to hand it over, feel free to
forward
| this rant to her, because it is directed at her.
|
|
| Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
| *this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN. On YOUR
planet
| they are obviously there for decoration. On our planet mammals have
| breasts with which to feed their offspring. On homosapiens they are
caled
| Breasts, on bovines they are Udders, and most other mammals they are
called
| teats. You can call them whatever you want....knockers, boom booms,
| "personality", hooters, tits, boobs, boobies, bresticles, whatever. Some
| are big, some are little. Some are perky, some are droopy. Most are
| natural, and some are plastic. Some are pink, some are brown, and some
are
| in shades between pink and brown. Some nipples are big, some are small,
| some are flat, some are pointy, and some are even "innies". What you
call
| them, and what they look like, has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on their
intended
| useage. LOTS and I mean LOTS of women in this country USE them TO FEED
| THEIR CHILDREN. In many many many other contries, bottles and formula
are
| unheard of. In that case, how do you think that the babies get fed?
| Osmosis maybe? Mainstream media has turned breasts into big money
makers.
| Huge money makers. A lot of men (not all but quite a few) think that
| breasts are there for their entertainment. Well they might be fun to
play
| with, but that is not their primary function. Their primary function is
to
| FEED CHILDREN. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
| woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning
is
| mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
| recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
| until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
| both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
| studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
| mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH." The AAP and WHO
have
| done many many studies on the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding
has
| been determined to make a child healthier, help the child ward off
| infections, and raise a child's IQ level. It is a proven fact that
| breastfed babies are happier, healthier, more adjusted, more mellow
little
| kids and adults than formula fed babies are. Humans need to be touched.
| It is hard to intimately touch a baby in the ways that it needs to be
| touched to bolster its psychological health when you are bottle feeding
it.
| It is recommended that an infant have skin to skin contact with its
mother.
| It reduces stress in the child, reduces blood pressure, and comforts a
baby
| in ways that words fail to describe. The easiest way to give your baby
skin
| to skin contact on a regular, frequent basis is through breastfeeding.
You
| said that you "were healthy" and you had been bottle fed. Apparently,
| MANNERS were not included as one of the ingredients in your formula
| feedings, because you are seriously lacking in that respect. It is NONE
of
| your business if Lina chooses to breastfeed her baby until the child is
80
| years old if she so desires. It is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell Lina that she
| shouldn't breastfeed her child as long as she wants to. It is NOT YOUR
| PLACE to tell Lina that 10 months is "excessive" in length. Lets visit a
| few other positive aspects of breastfeeding while we are here shall we?
| Breastfeeding is good for mom too. It helps mom overcome some forms of
| post partum depression. It helps mom drop weight that she gained while
she
| was pregnant. It is cheaper and more convenient than bottle feeding.
With
| bottles, you have to mix, adjust temperature, and wash the bottles.
While
| you are mixing the formula baby is screaming to be fed, raising its
| temperature and blood pressure, and thusly the child is harder to calm
when
| the bottle is ready. While you are breastfeeding, the baby will start to
| show various signs of hunger, so you pick the child up, pop a tit out of
| your shirt and feed the baby. No one gets so angry that they pop a vein
in
| their forehead, no ones blood pressure goes up, and no one is screaming
| bloody murder because it takes less than half the time to start nursing
| than it does to prepare a bottle.
|
| When I first started this I was angry. Now I want to cry for you and any
| kids you may have. You will never feel how strong a bond between mother
| and child can be. You will never benefit from the act itself
| (breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer). You
| will probably wind up to be a bottle proper-upper that ignores their baby
| instead of taking time out of your busy day to cuddle and love him/her.
| You will never have the most cherished and intimate moments of your life.
| You will never see a sweet little face looking up at you with big eyes
and
| a grin from ear to ear and know that you are giving your child the most
| pure nourishment that it can have. The act of breastfeeding is not
| derogatory to women, it is empowering. The act of breastfeeding is not
| "animalistic" in a bad way, you too, are an animal. The act of
| breastfeeding is loving, kind, nurturing. If you want derogatory, I'd be
| happy to show you to the nearest strip joint and have you reevaluate your
| thoughts on breastfeeding. If you so choose to take the "animalistic"
| point of view, I would very much like to hear your thoughts on sex. Yes
| sex.
|
| So take your pompous pedantic attitude and shove it. Go back to your
| little perfect world where babies come out of their mommas fully dressed
| and clean, and mommas feed the baby without touching and loving them
while
| jamming a bottle of nasty tasting crap down their throat. You go ahead
and
| have whatever preconceptions you want to about breastfeeding. Go ahead
and
| puke next time you see a mother breastfeeding and I bet she would hardly
| give you a second glance because she is used to seeing vomit in all
forms.
| But while you are feeling ill at the thought, while you are sitting on
your
| high horse of self righteousness, leave Lina and her decision to
breastfeed
| her daughter alone. Keep your opinion to yourself. We might not change
| your opinion on breastfeeding, but maybe we convince you that your
opinion
| won't get you anywhere. You aren't going to get her to stop
breastfeeding
| her daughter. Nothing that you say will change her mind. The only thing
| that you will succeed in doing is to make yourself look like an ass, and
| cement the thought that people have about you....the one that tells them
to
| steer clear because you are nothing more than a self serving snob, and no
| one likes to have them around.
|
|

[Hillary Israeli]

In rs.com>,
AlenasMom > wrote:

*But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
*just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
*shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
[snip]
*
*Any advice???

Lina, I feel for you. I was the *matron of honor* at my brother's wedding
when my firstborn was about 8 weeks old. The bride, who INSISTED on my
being matron of honor, was disgusted by BFing and also insisted my son not
show his face at the wedding. I was as accomodating as possible but of
course I ended up "ruining everything" by doing a number of unforgivable
things on the wedding day (I left the reception every hour and a half to
go nurse my son in our hotel room, I nursed my son in the bathroom during
the picture-taking, I attempted to make a toast to the happy couple at the
reception [still not sure why that was so evil of me but anyway]), and you
know, it generally sucked. I am now on my second nursling and this SIL
still makes every attempt to leave the room when I BF, but at least she no
longer says nasty things about it to me, so things are somewhat improved.

I really have no productive advice, except do what you have to do and what
you know is right and everything will come out ok in the end.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Richard > wrote:

*"AlenasMom" wrote:
*> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning
*> to breastfeed her while she was in college.
*
*and Cheryl S. replied:
*: Hoo boy, this woman has SOME nerve. I'd ask her why she's so interested
*: in my breasts.
*
*This is a GREAT approach to take! Answer her e-mail, promising that you
*will keep her fully informed of all activities of your breasts. Ask her
*to send you any e-mail address changes so she won't miss anything.
*
*: Side rant: I so totally do not get why so many people seem to think
*: that anything a baby does at X months of age, they are still going to be
*: doing when they are 20 years old.
*
*Ask her if she's still going to be feeding her kids junk food when they're
*in college. No, I'm getting nasty now.

But seriously, folks...
Why NOT ask her if formula-fed babies still drink formula in college?? I
mean, hello, Bueller.... babies need either breastmilk or formula until a
year, right? So....wtf about stopping before 10 mos? How about you tell
her that you had considered switching to formula, but with the cost of the
bridesmaid's dress and other wedding expenses, well, something had to
give, so you're going to continue the free breastmilk for the full year
and then as longer thereafter as mutually desired, just like your doctor
suggested in the first place. Oh, and also, tell her to kiss your grits
while she's at it :)

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Marnie]

"Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
...

> Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
> *this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN.


Wow. *Well* done! Even if she never sees it, that's just awesome, Karlee.
--
Marnie, glad to be on the same side as you of this argument, fer sure. :)
--

[Belphoebe]

Richard wrote:
> Belphoebe > wrote:
>> And for all we know, it's a cure for stickupassitis! ;)
>
> Belphoebe, is that a medical diagnosis?

My doctorate's in English, not medicine, so I can't do a medical diagnosis.
:)

--
Belphoebe

[DGoree]

Karlee in Kansas" wrote,

<<The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning is
mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH.">>

I just had to say, the whole rant is one of the best I've ever seen but the
above is my favorite part. I was reading it out loud to my husband. :-)

WTG, Karlee!!!!

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)

[AlenasMom]

"DGoree" > wrote in message
...
> Karlee in Kansas" wrote,
>
> <<The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
> woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning
is
> mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
> recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
> until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
> both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
> studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
> mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH.">>
>
> I just had to say, the whole rant is one of the best I've ever seen but
the
> above is my favorite part. I was reading it out loud to my husband. :-)
>
> WTG, Karlee!!!!
>
> Mary Ellen
> William (8)
> Matthew (6)
> Margaret (2)

WTG... Nice letter! I think I might send it!

[Naomi Pardue]

>She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
>she was in college.
>I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what she
>wants, then sure!

Well, of course you are! Since we all know that bfing increases IQ, Alena will
probably be brilliant enough to be going off to college shortly after her first
birthday, certainly before she is 2. You can hardly be expected to wean her by
then, can you???


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[teapot]

Larry McMahan > wrote in message >...
> AlenasMom > writes:
> : Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> : bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> : All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> : my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> : I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> : She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> : voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> : subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
> : that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> : I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> : herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> : room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> : hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> : the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> : when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> : I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
> : I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> : hours long! She's mad at this!
>
> : The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> : bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> : her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> : bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
>
> : I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> : breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> : bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>
> : But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> : just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> : shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> : because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> : generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> : generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> : Any advice???
>
> Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.
>
> Sigh,
> Larry
>
and do it NAKED!

teapot

[Dawn Lawson]

AlenasMom wrote:
> "DGoree" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>Karlee in Kansas" wrote,
>>
>><<The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
>>woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning
>
> is
>
>>mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
>>recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
>>until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
>>both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
>>studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
>>mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH.">>
>>
>>I just had to say, the whole rant is one of the best I've ever seen but
>
> the
>
>>above is my favorite part. I was reading it out loud to my husband. :-)
>>
>>WTG, Karlee!!!!
>>
>>Mary Ellen
>>William (8)
>>Matthew (6)
>>Margaret (2)
>
>
> WTG... Nice letter! I think I might send it!

Good God...not really??!!

That'll guarantee a really ****ty time planning the shower and being at
the wedding.
Can't you handle it by taking the high road and contacting her to say
simply that your breastfeeding activities are none of her business, but
that you have both been asked to help the bride with an important day,
and that you intend to "serve" your bride friend instead of embroiling
in this petty sniping. Then suggest that if after the wedding she still
wants to discuss your feeding choices, that would be an appropriate time
and you could send her a great deal of information then.

smile tightly, and don't mention it again. Do whatever you were going
to do at the wedding wrt nursing, but being rude about nursing does
nothing to *show* her you're right and she's a loon.

Dawn

[Circe]

"Molly Fisher" > wrote in message
...
> In article <S7Jzb.561618$9l5.315994@pd7tw2no>,
> Dawn Lawson > wrote:
> > smile tightly, and don't mention it again. Do whatever you were going
> > to do at the wedding wrt nursing, but being rude about nursing does
> > nothing to *show* her you're right and she's a loon.
>
> I want to voice my agreement. It's fun to share snappy comebacks and
> venomously pro-BF letters here, but IRL it will do nothing for you.
> Being rude about nursing will only confirm her opinion that nursing is
> rude.
>
Indeed. My personal tactic in such a situation would be to think "water,
back, duck." In other words, smile sweetly whenever you're baited and refuse
to rise to it. It's best to ignore trolls, IRL as much as on the Net.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [a quarter to 2] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"Be prepare to stop" -- CalTrans sign

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[DGoree]

Dawn Lawson wrote,

<<> WTG... Nice letter! I think I might send it!

Good God...not really??!!>>

Just to clarify, since I was applauding the letter (and still do):

I would never *send* such a letter IRL. This forum is a great place to vent,
and that's what I was applauding. It's a wonderful rant/vent. I'm still
laughing about parts of it.

But IRL I would tiptoe softly around the bride's day, since she, not the Issues
Bridesmaid, is the focus.

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)

[Ducky Lawyer]

AlenasMom wrote:
> That's exactly how it's going to be unfortunately. This is a really high
> society wedding, meaning formal wear and that's going to make it hard

> enough to nurse even in another room.

Why would this make it difficult to nurse in another room? I'd think you
just need to let the host or reception hall 'people' know you need a
small private space to nurse, and go there (if you can't/won't nurse at
your table). Or do you mean that it'll be difficult to bring your baby
to the wedding in the first place, because it's a formal 'society' wedding?
I hope it's not the latter since the bride already knows you're planning
to bring your darling nursling :-)

I only ask because I was part of a major, dressy political fundraiser
this fall smack in the middle of an election, and still managed to find
a spearate place to pump.

> Right now the plan is to ignore her

Good plan! That's been my attitude. My best friend broached the subject
recently wrt somewhat related wedding plans, and seems to think it was
wierd and inappropriate for me to be BFing my twins past age one. (This
won't be an issue ath her wedding anyhow since it's an adult only
wedding and we'll be leaving the girls with sitters armed with EBM
anyway...but it's annoying when yout nearest and dearest think you're
doing something negative and wierd, when you know it's actually positive
and natural (and healthy).

back to twin juggling :-)
-Barbara

[Stephanie and Tim]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message
.rogers.com...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
>
> She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
>
> I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
> herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
> room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
> the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
> when is a ten month old a toddler????)



mine was... as pointless to your message as that is...

> during the wedding!
> I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
> I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
> hours long! She's mad at this!
>
> The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
> bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
> her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
>

good for you.

> I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
> bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
>
> But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
> just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
> shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
> because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
> generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> generations. (Not all true at all.)
>
> Any advice???
>

grit your teeth for the sake of the bride then hope you never see her again

>
> --
> Lina
> Alena born July 1st, 2003
> www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
> validate the email address before sending.
>
>

[Larry McMahan]

chris > writes:

: Whoa! Formula feeding can help lead to Ulcerative Colitis????

I have seen some work on gluten sensitivity, and it may seem that the
WAY you wean is AS important as WHEN you wean for this particular
problem.

What I have seen suggests that there needs to be a good long period
after the introduction of the gluten containing foods before breastmilk
is removed. Of course, with extended feeders this is probably not
a problem, but for early weaners, what this means is that you should
start gluten containing foods and continue them for several months
before removing breastmilk.

Folks, nature didn't just design this feeding method by accident!

Larry

[Chotii]

"teapot" > wrote in message
om...
> Larry McMahan > wrote in message
>...
> > AlenasMom > writes:
> > : Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
her
> > : bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
everything.
> > : All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
how
> > : my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
because
> > : I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
> >
> > : She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in
a
> > : voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> > : subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
> > : that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
> >
> > : I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to
wean
> > : herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into
another
> > : room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
> > : hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be
in
> > : the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler
(since
> > : when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
> > : I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their
vows, but
> > : I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is
6
> > : hours long! She's mad at this!
> >
> > : The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in
the
> > : bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could
mind
> > : her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
> > : bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.
> >
> > : I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
> > : breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that
my
> > : bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing. :D
> >
> > : But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and
I
> > : just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting
and
> > : shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never
nurse
> > : because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of
our
> > : generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
> > : generations. (Not all true at all.)
> >
> > : Any advice???
> >
> > Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.
> >
> > Sigh,
> > Larry
> >
> and do it NAKED!

Waaaaalll, now, I wouldn't go *that* far. One's DH may enjoy the sight, but
for those of us who didn't even look seventeen when we were seventeen....

--angela

[A&G&K]

Wow Karlee, What a great post. Its a complete and perfect response to
idiotic comments about a mother's right to bf her child and a child's right
to be bf!
I'm officially asking if I can save a copy of your letter for the purposes
of resending to anyone I come across (irl) who needs to pull their head in
re: bf.

Now that DD is almost 16 mo I've started getting the comments about "are you
going to bf her at uni??" ... I usually respond with "well if she's still
bf at that age, she'll probably also be still sleeping in our bed so it
won't be much of an effort to roll over and give her a feed, but I'm
assuming she'll have decided to give up by then" ... and usually refrain
from adding "you moron" but always think it.

Amanda
Who apologises for top posting but who just couldn't snip this.....


"Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
...
>
> Ok. Thats IT. Hand over the email address so she can get the buttwhoopin
> she deserves. If you aren't willing to hand it over, feel free to forward
> this rant to her, because it is directed at her.
>
>
> Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
> *this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN. On YOUR planet
> they are obviously there for decoration. On our planet mammals have
> breasts with which to feed their offspring. On homosapiens they are caled
> Breasts, on bovines they are Udders, and most other mammals they are
called
> teats. You can call them whatever you want....knockers, boom booms,
> "personality", hooters, tits, boobs, boobies, bresticles, whatever. Some
> are big, some are little. Some are perky, some are droopy. Most are
> natural, and some are plastic. Some are pink, some are brown, and some
are
> in shades between pink and brown. Some nipples are big, some are small,
> some are flat, some are pointy, and some are even "innies". What you call
> them, and what they look like, has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on their intended
> useage. LOTS and I mean LOTS of women in this country USE them TO FEED
> THEIR CHILDREN. In many many many other contries, bottles and formula are
> unheard of. In that case, how do you think that the babies get fed?
> Osmosis maybe? Mainstream media has turned breasts into big money makers.
> Huge money makers. A lot of men (not all but quite a few) think that
> breasts are there for their entertainment. Well they might be fun to play
> with, but that is not their primary function. Their primary function is
to
> FEED CHILDREN. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
> woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning is
> mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
> recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
> until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
> both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
> studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
> mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH." The AAP and WHO have
> done many many studies on the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding
has
> been determined to make a child healthier, help the child ward off
> infections, and raise a child's IQ level. It is a proven fact that
> breastfed babies are happier, healthier, more adjusted, more mellow little
> kids and adults than formula fed babies are. Humans need to be touched.
> It is hard to intimately touch a baby in the ways that it needs to be
> touched to bolster its psychological health when you are bottle feeding
it.
> It is recommended that an infant have skin to skin contact with its
mother.
> It reduces stress in the child, reduces blood pressure, and comforts a
baby
> in ways that words fail to describe. The easiest way to give your baby
skin
> to skin contact on a regular, frequent basis is through breastfeeding. You
> said that you "were healthy" and you had been bottle fed. Apparently,
> MANNERS were not included as one of the ingredients in your formula
> feedings, because you are seriously lacking in that respect. It is NONE
of
> your business if Lina chooses to breastfeed her baby until the child is 80
> years old if she so desires. It is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell Lina that she
> shouldn't breastfeed her child as long as she wants to. It is NOT YOUR
> PLACE to tell Lina that 10 months is "excessive" in length. Lets visit a
> few other positive aspects of breastfeeding while we are here shall we?
> Breastfeeding is good for mom too. It helps mom overcome some forms of
> post partum depression. It helps mom drop weight that she gained while
she
> was pregnant. It is cheaper and more convenient than bottle feeding.
With
> bottles, you have to mix, adjust temperature, and wash the bottles. While
> you are mixing the formula baby is screaming to be fed, raising its
> temperature and blood pressure, and thusly the child is harder to calm
when
> the bottle is ready. While you are breastfeeding, the baby will start to
> show various signs of hunger, so you pick the child up, pop a tit out of
> your shirt and feed the baby. No one gets so angry that they pop a vein
in
> their forehead, no ones blood pressure goes up, and no one is screaming
> bloody murder because it takes less than half the time to start nursing
> than it does to prepare a bottle.
>
> When I first started this I was angry. Now I want to cry for you and any
> kids you may have. You will never feel how strong a bond between mother
> and child can be. You will never benefit from the act itself
> (breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer). You
> will probably wind up to be a bottle proper-upper that ignores their baby
> instead of taking time out of your busy day to cuddle and love him/her.
> You will never have the most cherished and intimate moments of your life.
> You will never see a sweet little face looking up at you with big eyes and
> a grin from ear to ear and know that you are giving your child the most
> pure nourishment that it can have. The act of breastfeeding is not
> derogatory to women, it is empowering. The act of breastfeeding is not
> "animalistic" in a bad way, you too, are an animal. The act of
> breastfeeding is loving, kind, nurturing. If you want derogatory, I'd be
> happy to show you to the nearest strip joint and have you reevaluate your
> thoughts on breastfeeding. If you so choose to take the "animalistic"
> point of view, I would very much like to hear your thoughts on sex. Yes
> sex.
>
> So take your pompous pedantic attitude and shove it. Go back to your
> little perfect world where babies come out of their mommas fully dressed
> and clean, and mommas feed the baby without touching and loving them while
> jamming a bottle of nasty tasting crap down their throat. You go ahead
and
> have whatever preconceptions you want to about breastfeeding. Go ahead
and
> puke next time you see a mother breastfeeding and I bet she would hardly
> give you a second glance because she is used to seeing vomit in all forms.
> But while you are feeling ill at the thought, while you are sitting on
your
> high horse of self righteousness, leave Lina and her decision to
breastfeed
> her daughter alone. Keep your opinion to yourself. We might not change
> your opinion on breastfeeding, but maybe we convince you that your opinion
> won't get you anywhere. You aren't going to get her to stop breastfeeding
> her daughter. Nothing that you say will change her mind. The only thing
> that you will succeed in doing is to make yourself look like an ass, and
> cement the thought that people have about you....the one that tells them
to
> steer clear because you are nothing more than a self serving snob, and no
> one likes to have them around.
>
>

[Karlee in Kansas]

"A&G&K" > wrote in message
...
| Wow Karlee, What a great post. Its a complete and perfect response to
| idiotic comments about a mother's right to bf her child and a child's
right
| to be bf!
| I'm officially asking if I can save a copy of your letter for the
purposes
| of resending to anyone I come across (irl) who needs to pull their head
in
| re: bf.
|
| Now that DD is almost 16 mo I've started getting the comments about "are
you
| going to bf her at uni??" ... I usually respond with "well if she's
still
| bf at that age, she'll probably also be still sleeping in our bed so it
| won't be much of an effort to roll over and give her a feed, but I'm
| assuming she'll have decided to give up by then" ... and usually refrain
| from adding "you moron" but always think it.
|
| Amanda
| Who apologises for top posting but who just couldn't snip this.....


<snipped own post>

Feel free to use it as you see fit. <g> I do believe that you should add a
disclaimer to it if/when you send or show it to anyone though....the
disclaimer that states something along the lines that this is really how I
sound when I'm ranting to someone IRL. My rather "dry" personality causes
some to laugh, and some to realize that ****ing me off and getting on my
bad side was not the smartest thing that they have ever done. I got off
the phone with an old college friend of mine a little while ago...and I
read her the post. She sat there in stunned silence for a while, then said
"WOW Karlee, first, that is the best argument I've heard for bf in a long
time, second I bet whoever is on the receiving end of that is gonna think
twice before they try to cross you again!" She also added that if I posted
again, that I should warn you that honestly, I really do talk like that. I
throw in examples (however crude), and write like I am talking to you.
Sometimes I get in trouble with it, sometimes I am able to get my point
across with no misunderstandings.

As to the comment of "bf all the way to uni/college" I'd probably
retaliate with "uhhh, your business WHY???" BF will not harm my child. If
I am not harming my child in any way, shape, or form, then they need not
bother with it. Would they think differently if a bottle fed baby was
still being given a bottle at 16 months? 2 years? 3 years? Honestly.
Think about it. Hows this for an answer: "Are you planning on bottle
feeding them all the way to uni/college??" Answering a question with a
question of relative equal value has a tendency to shut people up. Hard to
talk when you are trying to wrap your brain around a profound question and
the ramifications of it. Next time I hear the "bottlefeeding is just as
good or better than bf" attempt at an argument, I'll offer up a taste test.
Their formula against my expressed milk. I know that I don't make my
family eat something I wouldn't. (Although I admit that I had to ff my
first....the pill dried me up, and I still am angry at myself for not
trying harder....can you forgive me???)

Anyway...you are welcome to use it. Use it with caution though, I know
that I used some rather harsh words, they were _indented_ to grab
attention, not offend (but I'm sure it did both with equal force), but at
the time, I was *very* angry at the fact that she continued to harass Lina
about it, I tend to be a little more forceful when a) defending a friend,
and b) dealing with the ignorant people that would rather BE ignorant than
learn and not be ignorant and in turn cross the line of manners and common
sense.

Hugs, and apologies to any that I may have offended.

Karlee in Kansas

"Common sense is the least common of all senses, and that is why you can
never underestimate the power of human stupidity" (don't know where I heard
it, so can't give proper credit. my most humble apologies offered)

[Tine Andersen]

"A&G&K" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
> ...
> In the mean time, realize that
> > as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
> are
> > in diapers.
> LOL
> Oh man that just craked me up :) ... I've never heard it before :) (mind
if
> I use it?)
> Amanda

Not for the first time in my life I regret being a Dane - it is not possible
to translate into Danish, unfortunately.

Tine, Denmark

[teapot]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message le.rogers.com>...
> "teapot" > wrote in message
> m...
> > "AlenasMom" > wrote in message
> rs.com>...
> > > Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of
> her
> > > bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about
> everything.
> > > All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about
> how
> > > my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was
> because
> > > I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.
> > >
> > > She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
> > > voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
> > > subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
> think
> > > that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"
> >
> > snip
> >
> > Oh pass me a ladder for my high horse, the womans an idiot! You did
> > so well not to deck her one!
> >
> > I'm extremely annoyed on your behalf!
> >
> > teapot
>
> I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> she was in college.
> I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what she
> wants, then sure!

Oh oh oh - please let me know her email address - I want to ask her if
she is planning to give her kids formula when they are in their
trailer parks.

I've so enjoyed this thread, its brought out the bitch in me :-)

teapot

[Belphoebe]

teapot wrote:

> Oh oh oh - please let me know her email address - I want to ask her if
> she is planning to give her kids formula when they are in their
> trailer parks.
>
> I've so enjoyed this thread, its brought out the bitch in me :-)

Bwa-ha-ha-ha ha!!! :D

Imagine this woman finding her inbox flooded with messages from mkb-ers.

--
Belphoebe

[Elaine]

In article >, Larry McMahan wrote:
> What I have seen suggests that there needs to be a good long period
> after the introduction of the gluten containing foods before breastmilk
> is removed. Of course, with extended feeders this is probably not
> a problem, but for early weaners, what this means is that you should
> start gluten containing foods and continue them for several months
> before removing breastmilk.

Just a quick addition - it looks like gluten sensitivity is
also reduced if gluten is fed in small amounts, rather than
in large amounts. They suspect that's why the "safest" introduction
period for gluten is 4-6 months, because the baby is taking
very small amounts.

Elaine

[A&G&K]

"Karlee in Kansas" > wrote in message
...
>
I really do talk like that. I
> throw in examples (however crude), and write like I am talking to you.
> Sometimes I get in trouble with it, sometimes I am able to get my point
> across with no misunderstandings.


Maaate ... I'm an Aussie - its a learned skill to have to write "nicely" in
e-mails.

I have gotten in to *big trouble* at work when, via e-mail I (half jokingly)
swore at a computer guy (in a different town) and threatened to releive him
of his manhood if he ever touched my stuff again ( he had just informed me
that my PhD thesis was taking up too much space on the server so he had
kindly *deleted* it for me!!!!!! - I did have a backup which was lucky).
Luckily a friend of mine (also a computer dude at the org I worked for) told
me how unethical that was, but cc'd it to the offending idiot with comment
that when you delete someone's life work without so much as a by-your-leave,
then they can tend to be a little upset .....


>
> As to the comment of "bf all the way to uni/college" I'd probably
> retaliate with "uhhh, your business WHY???" BF will not harm my child.
If
> I am not harming my child in any way, shape, or form, then they need not
> bother with it. Would they think differently if a bottle fed baby was
> still being given a bottle at 16 months? 2 years? 3 years? Honestly.
> Think about it. Hows this for an answer: "Are you planning on bottle
> feeding them all the way to uni/college??" Answering a question with a
> question of relative equal value has a tendency to shut people up. Hard
to
> talk when you are trying to wrap your brain around a profound question and
> the ramifications of it. Next time I hear the "bottlefeeding is just as
> good or better than bf" attempt at an argument, I'll offer up a taste
test.
> Their formula against my expressed milk. I know that I don't make my
> family eat something I wouldn't. (Although I admit that I had to ff my
> first....the pill dried me up, and I still am angry at myself for not
> trying harder....can you forgive me???)

(hey - I've forgiven my Mum for ff me after 3 mo ... when she was told she
was jeopardising my growth (she wasn't).

>
> Anyway...you are welcome to use it. Use it with caution though, I know
> that I used some rather harsh words, they were _indented_ to grab
> attention, not offend (but I'm sure it did both with equal force), but at
> the time, I was *very* angry at the fact that she continued to harass Lina
> about it, I tend to be a little more forceful when a) defending a friend,
> and b) dealing with the ignorant people that would rather BE ignorant than
> learn and not be ignorant and in turn cross the line of manners and common
> sense.
>

Point taken - It would certainly only be used on one particular person (in
an edited format) who thinks she is the knower-of-all-things-true (she
isn't) and who makes up crap arguments based on what she's heard in the
girls loo! (Did you know that there is no nutritional value in breastmilk
after 6 weeks pp???!!!!!!!arghhhh!!!) It just saves me the effort of having
to type it all in myself...

> Hugs, and apologies to any that I may have offended.
>
No offence taken here.

Cheers
Amanda

[Belphoebe]

A&G&K wrote:

> Maaate ... I'm an Aussie - its a learned skill to have to write
> "nicely" in e-mails.
>
> I have gotten in to *big trouble* at work when, via e-mail I (half
> jokingly) swore at a computer guy (in a different town) and
> threatened to releive him of his manhood if he ever touched my stuff
> again ( he had just informed me that my PhD thesis was taking up too
> much space on the server so he had kindly *deleted* it for me!!!!!! -
> I did have a backup which was lucky). Luckily a friend of mine (also
> a computer dude at the org I worked for) told me how unethical that
> was, but cc'd it to the offending idiot with comment that when you
> delete someone's life work without so much as a by-your-leave, then
> they can tend to be a little upset .....

Having BTDT w/PhD diss-hell, I can tell you probably would have reacted the
same way you did. I did become increasingly neurotic about backing it up,
but if someone had taken the liberty of deleting it? I'd have been feeling
slightly homicidal! :)

--
Belphoebe

[Sue]

Wow, how obnoxious. If I was someone that needed education on breastfeeding,
your speech would do nothing for me except maybe make me want to slap you
and I wouldn't care if I got on your *bad side* or not. I don't subscribe to
the lactivist/breastfeeding nazi regime, but more respond better to the
positive aspects of breastfeeding. I personally see it more fit to show
other moms how easy breastfeeding is and how happy baby is rather than your
style, but obnoxious people always turn me off.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

Karlee in Kansas > wrote in message
...
> AlenasMom wrote
> |
> | I restrained myself.... I was so proud!
> | She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> | she was in college.
> | I told that was silly! Alena's going to university, and if that's what
> she
> | wants, then sure!
>
>
> Ok. Thats IT. Hand over the email address so she can get the buttwhoopin
> she deserves. If you aren't willing to hand it over, feel free to forward
> this rant to her, because it is directed at her.
>
>
> Excuse me, but I think that you missed the train to your home planet. On
> *this* planet BOOBS are put on our bodies to FEED CHILDREN. On YOUR planet
> they are obviously there for decoration. On our planet mammals have
> breasts with which to feed their offspring. On homosapiens they are caled
> Breasts, on bovines they are Udders, and most other mammals they are
called
> teats. You can call them whatever you want....knockers, boom booms,
> "personality", hooters, tits, boobs, boobies, bresticles, whatever. Some
> are big, some are little. Some are perky, some are droopy. Most are
> natural, and some are plastic. Some are pink, some are brown, and some
are
> in shades between pink and brown. Some nipples are big, some are small,
> some are flat, some are pointy, and some are even "innies". What you call
> them, and what they look like, has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on their intended
> useage. LOTS and I mean LOTS of women in this country USE them TO FEED
> THEIR CHILDREN. In many many many other contries, bottles and formula are
> unheard of. In that case, how do you think that the babies get fed?
> Osmosis maybe? Mainstream media has turned breasts into big money makers.
> Huge money makers. A lot of men (not all but quite a few) think that
> breasts are there for their entertainment. Well they might be fun to play
> with, but that is not their primary function. Their primary function is
to
> FEED CHILDREN. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that a
> woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of **1 YEAR** or until weaning is
> mutually agreed upon by mother and child. The World Health Organization
> recommends that a woman BREASTFEED her child for a MINIMUM of *2YEARS* or
> until weaning is mutually agreed upon by mother and child. Key words in
> both of these recommendations is MOTHER AND CHILD. Nowhere in those
> studies do I see the phrase "or until weaning is mutually agreed upon by
> mother, child, and nosy stuckup rude selfish BITCH." The AAP and WHO have
> done many many studies on the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding
has
> been determined to make a child healthier, help the child ward off
> infections, and raise a child's IQ level. It is a proven fact that
> breastfed babies are happier, healthier, more adjusted, more mellow little
> kids and adults than formula fed babies are. Humans need to be touched.
> It is hard to intimately touch a baby in the ways that it needs to be
> touched to bolster its psychological health when you are bottle feeding
it.
> It is recommended that an infant have skin to skin contact with its
mother.
> It reduces stress in the child, reduces blood pressure, and comforts a
baby
> in ways that words fail to describe. The easiest way to give your baby
skin
> to skin contact on a regular, frequent basis is through breastfeeding. You
> said that you "were healthy" and you had been bottle fed. Apparently,
> MANNERS were not included as one of the ingredients in your formula
> feedings, because you are seriously lacking in that respect. It is NONE
of
> your business if Lina chooses to breastfeed her baby until the child is 80
> years old if she so desires. It is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell Lina that she
> shouldn't breastfeed her child as long as she wants to. It is NOT YOUR
> PLACE to tell Lina that 10 months is "excessive" in length. Lets visit a
> few other positive aspects of breastfeeding while we are here shall we?
> Breastfeeding is good for mom too. It helps mom overcome some forms of
> post partum depression. It helps mom drop weight that she gained while
she
> was pregnant. It is cheaper and more convenient than bottle feeding.
With
> bottles, you have to mix, adjust temperature, and wash the bottles. While
> you are mixing the formula baby is screaming to be fed, raising its
> temperature and blood pressure, and thusly the child is harder to calm
when
> the bottle is ready. While you are breastfeeding, the baby will start to
> show various signs of hunger, so you pick the child up, pop a tit out of
> your shirt and feed the baby. No one gets so angry that they pop a vein
in
> their forehead, no ones blood pressure goes up, and no one is screaming
> bloody murder because it takes less than half the time to start nursing
> than it does to prepare a bottle.
>
> When I first started this I was angry. Now I want to cry for you and any
> kids you may have. You will never feel how strong a bond between mother
> and child can be. You will never benefit from the act itself
> (breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer). You
> will probably wind up to be a bottle proper-upper that ignores their baby
> instead of taking time out of your busy day to cuddle and love him/her.
> You will never have the most cherished and intimate moments of your life.
> You will never see a sweet little face looking up at you with big eyes and
> a grin from ear to ear and know that you are giving your child the most
> pure nourishment that it can have. The act of breastfeeding is not
> derogatory to women, it is empowering. The act of breastfeeding is not
> "animalistic" in a bad way, you too, are an animal. The act of
> breastfeeding is loving, kind, nurturing. If you want derogatory, I'd be
> happy to show you to the nearest strip joint and have you reevaluate your
> thoughts on breastfeeding. If you so choose to take the "animalistic"
> point of view, I would very much like to hear your thoughts on sex. Yes
> sex.
>
> So take your pompous pedantic attitude and shove it. Go back to your
> little perfect world where babies come out of their mommas fully dressed
> and clean, and mommas feed the baby without touching and loving them while
> jamming a bottle of nasty tasting crap down their throat. You go ahead
and
> have whatever preconceptions you want to about breastfeeding. Go ahead
and
> puke next time you see a mother breastfeeding and I bet she would hardly
> give you a second glance because she is used to seeing vomit in all forms.
> But while you are feeling ill at the thought, while you are sitting on
your
> high horse of self righteousness, leave Lina and her decision to
breastfeed
> her daughter alone. Keep your opinion to yourself. We might not change
> your opinion on breastfeeding, but maybe we convince you that your opinion
> won't get you anywhere. You aren't going to get her to stop breastfeeding
> her daughter. Nothing that you say will change her mind. The only thing
> that you will succeed in doing is to make yourself look like an ass, and
> cement the thought that people have about you....the one that tells them
to
> steer clear because you are nothing more than a self serving snob, and no
> one likes to have them around.
>
>

[Em]

"A&G&K" > wrote in message

> Point taken - It would certainly only be used on one particular person (in
> an edited format) who thinks she is the knower-of-all-things-true (she
> isn't) and who makes up crap arguments based on what she's heard in the
> girls loo! (Did you know that there is no nutritional value in breastmilk
> after 6 weeks pp???!!!!!!!arghhhh!!!) It just saves me the effort of
having
> to type it all in myself...
<snip>

Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something I've
heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come* from? Do they
hear things about waiting to introduce bottles until after 6 weeks and think
that means that breastmilk becomes no good after that point? I really don't
understand where that idea comes from. I had a discussion with a newly
married friend recently (who has a Masters degree, FWIW) and we were talking
about her plans for having children. She is on a medication that she says
isn't compatible w/breastfeeding and I know enough about her situation to
know that she is probably right (I don't feel like I should share the
details here), but she said she plans to stay off the meds for the first 6
weeks though, "because that is when it is important to breastfeed." I
replied with something like, "well, it does stay important for longer than
that!" Knowing the rest of her circumstance, made me disinclined to try to
convince her differently though. I'm just confused about where people get
that perception from.

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

[H Schinske]

Em ) wrote:

>Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something I've
>heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come* from?

I think it comes from people begging and pleading to try to get women to AT
LEAST give their babies a few weeks of breastmilk, because it's the most
important time in terms of medical benefits (which is true). Similarly, the
*greatest* public health benefits of pediatric care are often seen in the
neonatal period. Doesn't mean you should never take your baby to the doctor
after it's six weeks old!

--Helen

[Tine Andersen]

"Em" > skrev i en meddelelse
news:KhwAb.250856$Dw6.869509@attbi_s02...
>
> Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something I've
> heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come* from? Do they

I have always felt that if a child needed milk nutritionally for four years
(which they do) it has to be 'natural' to BF them for at least four years.
It cannot have been nature's/god's/whoever's intentions that we should suck
a dog, cat, goat, cow, horse, whale, pig or any other mammal.

If anything is gross it must be getting milk from 'another' animal - yuck
(exaggerating a bit here - i drink plenty of cows milk myself).

The above is just the arguments I use when people say: isn't ???mths a
little to late to BF?

Tine, Denmark

[KC]

It's really really old (like me :-) I am 38, and I recall in my late
teens/early 20s that most people then thought it was important to
breastfeed for the first 6 weeks. I know back then I figured I would
do that, but I didn't end up having my first dd until I was 34.

For one thing, I think back then there weren't good pumps on the
market and alot of women were working. The economy was pretty bad
then. Interest rates were really high, and housing prices were really
high where I lived, so all the young women had to work and most had to
go back to work when the baby was 6 weeks old. All the women I knew
who had babies back then went back to work at 6 weeks pp, so perhaps
that is where the magic 6 weeks number came from.

KC


"Em" > wrote in message news:<KhwAb.250856$Dw6.869509@attbi_s02>...
> "A&G&K" > wrote in message
>
> > Point taken - It would certainly only be used on one particular person (in
> > an edited format) who thinks she is the knower-of-all-things-true (she
> > isn't) and who makes up crap arguments based on what she's heard in the
> > girls loo! (Did you know that there is no nutritional value in breastmilk
> > after 6 weeks pp???!!!!!!!arghhhh!!!) It just saves me the effort of
> having
> > to type it all in myself...
> <snip>
>
> Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something I've
> heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come* from? Do they
> hear things about waiting to introduce bottles until after 6 weeks and think
> that means that breastmilk becomes no good after that point? I really don't
> understand where that idea comes from. I had a discussion with a newly
> married friend recently (who has a Masters degree, FWIW) and we were talking
> about her plans for having children. She is on a medication that she says
> isn't compatible w/breastfeeding and I know enough about her situation to
> know that she is probably right (I don't feel like I should share the
> details here), but she said she plans to stay off the meds for the first 6
> weeks though, "because that is when it is important to breastfeed." I
> replied with something like, "well, it does stay important for longer than
> that!" Knowing the rest of her circumstance, made me disinclined to try to
> convince her differently though. I'm just confused about where people get
> that perception from.

[Melissa]

> Em ) wrote:
>
> >Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something I've
> >heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come* from?
>

It's from the same people who believe that one has a year to send thank-you
notes after one is married.

--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03

[DGoree]

(KC) wrote,

<<It's really really old (like me :-) I am 38, and I recall in my late
teens/early 20s that most people then thought it was important to
breastfeed for the first 6 weeks. I know back then I figured I would
do that, but I didn't end up having my first dd until I was 34.>>

That fits exactly with what I remember too. My oldest niece was born in 1977
and my sister nursed her for *exactly* six weeks because the ped told her that
the baby would get all the benefits in six weeks. After that it was on to
Similac. I was 16 at the time and just assumed that all babies went on to
bottles eventually.

Fortunately I didn't get around to having any of my own until much, much later.
:-)

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (2)

[H Schinske]

Mary Ellen ) wrote:

>After that it was on to
>Similac. I was 16 at the time and just assumed that all babies went on to
>bottles eventually.

Even one of my own sisters (who lives a lot further away and hadn't been around
my kids as much) was incredibly surprised to hear recently that I had
essentially never needed to use formula. I just said, "Well, why *would* I, I
was home anyway, there was just no reason I would have needed to even think
about it." She wasn't hostile or anything, it simply had *never occurred* to
her that I would have done such a thing, as if she had suddenly found out that
I had woven all the material for my children's clothing, or something like
that.

--Helen

[JoFromOz]

Em wrote:
> "A&G&K" > wrote in message
> Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something
> I've heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come*
> from? --


I think it comes from the 6 week growth spurt ... babies suddenly feed much
more often, and so all of a sudden the milk is 'too weak' to sustain them,
and well meaning family members tell them they are starving their baby
because the milk isn't good anymore.

Sad, eh?

Bit of education goes a long way!

Jo

--
Babies are Born... Pizzas are delivered.

[Em]

"KC" > wrote in message

> It's really really old (like me :-) I am 38, and I recall in my late
> teens/early 20s that most people then thought it was important to
> breastfeed for the first 6 weeks. I know back then I figured I would
> do that, but I didn't end up having my first dd until I was 34.
>
> For one thing, I think back then there weren't good pumps on the
> market and alot of women were working. The economy was pretty bad
> then. Interest rates were really high, and housing prices were really
> high where I lived, so all the young women had to work and most had to
> go back to work when the baby was 6 weeks old. All the women I knew
> who had babies back then went back to work at 6 weeks pp, so perhaps
> that is where the magic 6 weeks number came from.

Ah ha! I spaced out the fact that many women go back to work at 6 week pp.
That makes some sense.

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

[Em]

"JoFromOz" > wrote in message
> Em wrote:
> > "A&G&K" > wrote in message
> > Re: the "no nutritional value past 6 weeks" thing. That is something
> > I've heard several times from people IRL. Where does that *come*
> > from? --
>
>
> I think it comes from the 6 week growth spurt ... babies suddenly feed
much
> more often, and so all of a sudden the milk is 'too weak' to sustain them,
> and well meaning family members tell them they are starving their baby
> because the milk isn't good anymore.

Right! Somehow it becomes not enough to sustain them and formula steps in.
That makes sense too (in terms of where people get the 6 weeks idea from). I
guess there are a variety of reasons why someone might develop the idea that
the first 6 weeks are what matters. Also, as someone else mentioned, someone
being pleaded to least try bf'ing for the first 6 weeks, might end up
interpreting the message as bf'ing is only important for that long. In my
observation, 6 weeks is often the marker when some people decide that the
baby is too hungry and start packing in the rice cereal (which also seems to
fit with not knowing how to cope with a growth spurt--baby suddenly starts
waking more often to feed through the growth spurt. Not only do they "need"
formula, they need some hearty helpings of rice cereal mixed in the bottle
as well!).

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

[[email protected]]

KC > wrote:
> It's really really old (like me :-) I am 38, and I recall in my late
> teens/early 20s that most people then thought it was important to
> breastfeed for the first 6 weeks. I know back then I figured I would
> do that, but I didn't end up having my first dd until I was 34.

> For one thing, I think back then there weren't good pumps on the
> market and alot of women were working. The economy was pretty bad
> then. Interest rates were really high, and housing prices were really
> high where I lived, so all the young women had to work and most had to
> go back to work when the baby was 6 weeks old. All the women I knew
> who had babies back then went back to work at 6 weeks pp, so perhaps
> that is where the magic 6 weeks number came from.

A friend of mine from work who has children my age (born in 76) told me
that when her kids were born everyone went back to work at 6 weeks. She
didn't have any choice and pumping was not an option. She decided not to
nurse during those 6 weeks because no one really explained to her the
health benefits (just financial benefits) and several of her friends who
did choose to nurse during that time got breast infections when they
returned to work because they stopped nursing abruptly. She regrets it
now, but she did the best she could in her situation based on the
information she had.

Manda

[Chookie]

In article le.rogers.com>,
"AlenasMom" > wrote:

> She emailed me today and asked if I was planning to breastfeed her while
> she was in college.

She did WHAAAT??

I call that way outta line. Respond to her with grace and dignity, as befits
a real woman; that way all the future mothers nearby will benefit. However,
you may find the need to use phrases such as:

"That's a bit personal"

"[Bride] doesn't have a problem with it, and it's her wedding"

"Mind your own business"

"Can we talk about something else?"

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Jeez; if only those Ancient Greek storytellers had known about the astonishing
creature that is the *Usenet hydra*: you cut off one head, and *a stupider one*
grows back..." -- MJ, cam.misc

[Cathy Weeks]

"AlenasMom" > wrote in message rs.com>...
> Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
> bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
> All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
> my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
> I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

This is sort of off topic from your post - (and I've been lucky not to
encounter anyone as stupid or rude as her) but I thought I'd give you
some advice about being a bridesmaid with a nurseling.

My daughter was six months old when I was in a friend's wedding.
Everone was supportive, and great. My dress was NOT nursing friendly,
unfortunately.

Anyway, if you have a breastpump, and your daughter takes a bottle or
sippy, bring along some EBM. You never know when it will come in
handy. My husband had her during the ceremony (I just couldn't nurse
her *then*!!) and fed her 4 ounces of EBM during the ceremony and that
kept her happy until I could nurse her.

I had to go into the dressing room to nurse her, and then take my
dress down to my waist to nurse (it zipped down the back). Then,
after she nursed, she spit up all down the front of my dress, forcing
me to change after all. SO, when you are nursing, drape yourself with
a towel, to prevent this from happening. My daughter wasn't typically
a spitter, but it did happen occasionally.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01