We may be almost done...toddler weaning

[Irene]

I'm not sure if this is it, or not, but ds (28 months) seems to be
heading towards self-weaning. Now that I'm almost 5 months pg,
there's hardly any milk left. About once or twice a day, he asks for
mommy milk, tries for a moment, and then declares "all gone."
Fortunately, I've been explaining over the last month or so that now
that he doesn't drink as much mommy milk, mommy's body isn't making as
much, so it's a lot harder for him to get the mommy milk. (I'm trying
really, really hard not to connect it to me being pg, even though
that's part of the reason, so he won't resent the baby.) I did also
tell him a couple days ago that once the baby gets here, mommy's body
will start making more milk for the baby, and that mommy bodies are
smart that way. He seemed to accept that explanation.

I think over the next week or two, we're going to see if he keeps on
trying. While I'm open to tandemming, it also seems like a golden
opportunity to wean without drama right now, so I'm kind of playing it
by ear. I know that no matter what, we've had a wonderful nursing
relationship, so it's very bittersweet to see the end coming. :-(
But, if this is how it ends, I'm very happy that he seems to be
accepting snuggles and fridge milk as substitutes (depending on
whether it was comfort or food he wanted). :-)

Irene
mom to Thomas 7/10/01
#2 EDD 4/10/04

[HollyLewis]

>Fortunately, I've been explaining over the last month or so that now
>that he doesn't drink as much mommy milk, mommy's body isn't making as
>much, so it's a lot harder for him to get the mommy milk. (I'm trying
>really, really hard not to connect it to me being pg, even though
>that's part of the reason, so he won't resent the baby.)

You know, I've been wondering about that! I'd like to tell my DS the truth
about the pregnancy changing the milk but the resentment thing makes it sort of
sticky, doesn't it? (Anyone else want to tell us how you handled it?)

Fortunately, my DS doesn't seem to have noticed any dropoff yet, or at least
hasn't commented on it, though he's tending to nurse for shorter periods of
time, and is a lot easier to put off than he used to be. And of course, I'm
not as far along as you; who knows what will happen in the next few months.

>
>I think over the next week or two, we're going to see if he keeps on
>trying. While I'm open to tandemming, it also seems like a golden
>opportunity to wean without drama right now, so I'm kind of playing it
>by ear. I know that no matter what, we've had a wonderful nursing
>relationship, so it's very bittersweet to see the end coming. :-(
>But, if this is how it ends, I'm very happy that he seems to be
>accepting snuggles and fridge milk as substitutes (depending on
>whether it was comfort or food he wanted). :-)

Sounds like the right attitude to me. :-) It wouldn't break my heart if DS
weaned mid-preg -- he'll turn 3 in less than two months -- but I'm not holding
my breath, since he's pretty attached to it as part of his bedtime routine.
And it also wouldn't bother me to wind up tandem nursing, just because, well,
having come this far, why not go through the *full* range of breastfeeding
experience? ;-) Living in the liberal Bay Area, I don't get too many
opportunities to be an in-your-face lactivist! Plus, of course, "everyone"
says that tandemning reduces baby-resentment and such sibling problems -- and
we're going to have enough to deal with trying to change DS' sleeping habits
somehow or other, since there isn't enough room in Mommy & Daddy's bed for
four, and not enough floor space in our house for a bigger bed!

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
EDD #2 6/8/04

[Mary]

HollyLewis wrote:
>
>>much, so it's a lot harder for him to get the mommy milk. (I'm trying
>>really, really hard not to connect it to me being pg, even though
>>that's part of the reason, so he won't resent the baby.)
>
> You know, I've been wondering about that! I'd like to tell my DS the truth
> about the pregnancy changing the milk but the resentment thing makes it sort of
> sticky, doesn't it? (Anyone else want to tell us how you handled it?)

I've been wondering about that, too! In my head, I've been coming up
with ways to explain a possible milk drop-off without blaming it on the
new baby. Same goes for explaining why I might be too tired to play, or
not feeling well, etc.

> says that tandemning reduces baby-resentment and such sibling problems -- and
> we're going to have enough to deal with trying to change DS' sleeping habits
> somehow or other, since there isn't enough room in Mommy & Daddy's bed for
> four, and not enough floor space in our house for a bigger bed!

I'd like to tandem for the same reasons, but if I get pregnant and
Sproutkin self-weans that would be okay, too. We're thinking of getting
her a toddler bed in the very near future, and starting the transition.

No BTDT experience, just that I'm thinking all the same things, Holly. :)

Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 21 months

[HollyLewis]

> We're thinking of getting
>her a toddler bed in the very near future, and starting the transition.
>
>No BTDT experience, just that I'm thinking all the same things, Holly. :)
>
>Mary S.
>mom to the Sproutkin, 21 months
>

Oh, Camden has his own bed, and he likes it well enough. It's just that even
when he starts the night in it, he doesn't stay in it. Sometime during the
night he comes and joins me -- and as often as not, I don't wake up when he
does. Which means that even if I wanted to institute a routine of taking him
back to his own bed, I really wouldn't be *able* to!

And I don't think I want to gate or lock him out of my room. So it's going to
have to be powers of persuasion, or something. Wish me luck! ;-)

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
EDD #2 6/8/04

[Mary]

HollyLewis wrote:

> Oh, Camden has his own bed, and he likes it well enough. It's just that even
> when he starts the night in it, he doesn't stay in it.

> And I don't think I want to gate or lock him out of my room. So it's going to
> have to be powers of persuasion, or something. Wish me luck! ;-)

Aw, nuts! So you don't just start putting them into the toddler bed and
poof, they start sleeping through the night? Sproutkin still wakes up
2-3 times a night at this point.

Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 21 months

[Herself]

Mary > wrote:

> HollyLewis wrote:
>
> > Oh, Camden has his own bed, and he likes it well enough. It's just that
> > even when he starts the night in it, he doesn't stay in it.
>
> > And I don't think I want to gate or lock him out of my room. So it's
> > going to have to be powers of persuasion, or something. Wish me luck!
> > ;-)
>
> Aw, nuts! So you don't just start putting them into the toddler bed and
> poof, they start sleeping through the night? Sproutkin still wakes up 2-3
> times a night at this point.

P's been in his for about a month now. Every night, at some point, he's
in our bed. He came in at 5:30 for a nurse, and he's still in there,
asleep with Himself. The good part is that once they "get it", you
don't have to go get them, they come to you. So you can stay kinda
groggy. :-)

P hasn't slept through since....June? --
'Tis Herself

[Irene]

(HollyLewis) wrote in message >...
> >Fortunately, I've been explaining over the last month or so that now
> >that he doesn't drink as much mommy milk, mommy's body isn't making as
> >much, so it's a lot harder for him to get the mommy milk. (I'm trying
> >really, really hard not to connect it to me being pg, even though
> >that's part of the reason, so he won't resent the baby.)
>
> You know, I've been wondering about that! I'd like to tell my DS the truth
> about the pregnancy changing the milk but the resentment thing makes it sort of
> sticky, doesn't it? (Anyone else want to tell us how you handled it?)
>
> Fortunately, my DS doesn't seem to have noticed any dropoff yet, or at least
> hasn't commented on it, though he's tending to nurse for shorter periods of
> time, and is a lot easier to put off than he used to be. And of course, I'm
> not as far along as you; who knows what will happen in the next few months.
>
Hey, I missed an announcement, it looks like! Congratulations!

> >
> >I think over the next week or two, we're going to see if he keeps on
> >trying. While I'm open to tandemming, it also seems like a golden
> >opportunity to wean without drama right now, so I'm kind of playing it
> >by ear. I know that no matter what, we've had a wonderful nursing
> >relationship, so it's very bittersweet to see the end coming. :-(
> >But, if this is how it ends, I'm very happy that he seems to be
> >accepting snuggles and fridge milk as substitutes (depending on
> >whether it was comfort or food he wanted). :-)
>
> Sounds like the right attitude to me. :-) It wouldn't break my heart if DS
> weaned mid-preg -- he'll turn 3 in less than two months -- but I'm not holding
> my breath, since he's pretty attached to it as part of his bedtime routine.
> And it also wouldn't bother me to wind up tandem nursing, just because, well,
> having come this far, why not go through the *full* range of breastfeeding
> experience? ;-) Living in the liberal Bay Area, I don't get too many
> opportunities to be an in-your-face lactivist! Plus, of course, "everyone"
> says that tandemning reduces baby-resentment and such sibling problems -- and
> we're going to have enough to deal with trying to change DS' sleeping habits
> somehow or other, since there isn't enough room in Mommy & Daddy's bed for
> four, and not enough floor space in our house for a bigger bed!
>
I know what you mean, especially about the benefits of tandemming.
Tho as a one-sided nurser, I wonder how well that would work -
probably something that not a whole lot of people have experience
with, even on this ng. I assume that the baby would be fine with both
sides, but I doubt that ds would be open to using the "other" side? I
dunno. At least ds has transitioned well to his big boy bed. Now I
just have to try and get the glider out of his room - that's going to
be harder, since I don't have anything to replace it with. (We were
short on chairs in the first place!)

Good luck with everything!

> Holly
> Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
> EDD #2 6/8/04

[HollyLewis]

>Aw, nuts! So you don't just start putting them into the toddler bed and
>poof, they start sleeping through the night?

Nope. But if you're lucky, *you* start sleeping through the night, because the
kid no longer needs your help to get out of bed and climb into yours. :-)
That's the way it worked for us anyhow, but then, DS wasn't typically waking
more than once a night by that time.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
EDD #2 6/8/04

[Sarajoyo]

Mary > wrote in message >...
> HollyLewis wrote:
>
> > Oh, Camden has his own bed, and he likes it well enough. It's just that even
> > when he starts the night in it, he doesn't stay in it.
>
> > And I don't think I want to gate or lock him out of my room. So it's going to
> > have to be powers of persuasion, or something. Wish me luck! ;-)
>
> Aw, nuts! So you don't just start putting them into the toddler bed and
> poof, they start sleeping through the night? Sproutkin still wakes up
> 2-3 times a night at this point.
>
We just started transitioning DD to a toddler bed next to our bed
about a month ago. It has gone really well; I'm quite pleased. It
totally varies how often she wakes up now. She might sleep in her bed
for an hour or two before coming into ours, or she might stay in her
bed the vast majority of the night without waking to nurse at all. Or
she might wake once, about halfway through.

-Sara:)