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View Full Version : CAGING THEIR FEAR: PARENTS GO OVERBOARD IN TRYING TO PROTECT KIDS, EXPERTS SAY


billy f
August 9th 03, 12:15 PM
Also check out the book "Paranoid Parenting: Why Ignoring the Experts May Be
Best for Your Child"

http://www.southernillinoisan.com/rednews/2003/03/30/build/life/LIF006.html

SEATTLE -- Despite the perception of an increasingly dangerous world, kids
today are more likely to spend their childhoods free of disease and injury
than any previous generation.

But many parents are still holding on tighter -- too tight, say some
experts, who argue that good parents are going overboard and shielding kids
from the pain, difficult choices and frustrations that teach them, in the
end, how to cope with real life.

"In protecting kids, are we keeping them safe, or are we depriving them from
a variety of life experiences that build character?" asked Nancy Koppelman,
an American studies professor at the Evergreen State College in Olympia,
Wash.

Indeed, "child rearing today is not so much about managing the risks of
everyday life but avoiding them altogether," argues Frank Furedi, author of
"Paranoid Parenting: Why Ignoring the Experts May be Best for Your Child."

The goal of eliminating every potential threat from a child's environment,
be it high playground slides or bad grades, is peculiar to the United States
and the United Kingdom, Furedi said.

While certainly no one wants to go back to the days when children routinely
died in car crashes or preventable accidents, it's micromanaging down to the
Band-Aid level that disturbs Furedi.

Other societies "still believe in children's resilience (and) understand
that the risk of a child injuring herself is worth taking in order to allow
her the freedom to explore her environment," he writes.

The alleged dangers come from outside as well as our very homes, as stores,
books and Web sites tout "child-proofing" products like bumpers for
furniture that "make sharp corners safer for your baby."

Almost 2,500 people subscribe to the listserv at www.SafeChild.net for
safety updates, with the Web site receiving more than a million hits a
month.

"If parents are always afraid their children will get hurt, kids pick up on
that," said Laurie Simmons, a licensed mental-health counselor in Kirkland,
Wash. "Then kids can be afraid to take risks."

And the constant vigilance makes parenting a more difficult job than it
should be, Furedi says.

Dr. Fred Rivara, former director of the Harborview Injury Prevention and
Research Center is Seattle, is a person one might expect to be overly
cautious. Yet he insists he's not "an injury fanatic."

"Every kid is going to have some bumps and bruises," said Rivara, a
University of Washington professor of pediatrics. "Parents need to think
about the big things."

If parents provide adequate supervision and follow the big precautions, such
as installing smoke detectors, using car and booster seats and insisting
kids wear life jackets around the water, they shouldn't sweat less-common
types of injury, Rivara said.

The cost of overprotection may be emotional rather than physical. "Research
has found that the most important thing kids learn growing up is the ability
to tolerate frustration and delay gratification," said Charles Elliot, a
psychologist and coauthor of "Hollow Kids: Recapturing the Soul of a
Generation Lost to the Self-Esteem Myth." "If we step in every time to
satisfy a kid's desire or protect them from every difficulty, we're doing
exactly the opposite of that."

If parents are worried, for example, that a child will fall off the monkey
bars, they should see it as a sign the child needs more practice, rather
than as a signal to tell the child to stop, Simmons said.

"You protect kids more by teaching skills, rather than stepping in."

Fern5827
August 9th 03, 03:15 PM
Billy, do you know that Judge Judy actually advised her daughter NOT TO take
her grandchild to a NY hospital when the child suffered an accident?

She knew the INSTANCES OF FALSE ACCUSATIONS OF CHILD ABUSE.

She told the Mom to take kid to local, known physician.

CPS is NOT A BENIGN INSTITUTION.

http://www.familyrightsassociation.com

Read some of the horror stories families have experienced with DSS, DSHS, DHS,
ETC.


Billy sent in:

>Subject: CAGING THEIR FEAR: PARENTS GO OVERBOARD IN TRYING TO PROTECT KIDS,
>EXPERTS SAY
>From: "billy f"
>Date: 8/9/2003 7:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: >
>
>Also check out the book "Paranoid Parenting: Why Ignoring the Experts May Be
>Best for Your Child"
>
>http://www.southernillinoisan.com/rednews/2003/03/30/build/life/LIF006.html
>
>SEATTLE -- Despite the perception of an increasingly dangerous world, kids
>today are more likely to spend their childhoods free of disease and injury
>than any previous generation.
>
>But many parents are still holding on tighter -- too tight, say some
>experts, who argue that good parents are going overboard and shielding kids
>from the pain, difficult choices and frustrations that teach them, in the
>end, how to cope with real life.
>
>"In protecting kids, are we keeping them safe, or are we depriving them from
>a variety of life experiences that build character?" asked Nancy Koppelman,
>an American studies professor at the Evergreen State College in Olympia,
>Wash.
>
>Indeed, "child rearing today is not so much about managing the risks of
>everyday life but avoiding them altogether," argues Frank Furedi, author of
>"Paranoid Parenting: Why Ignoring the Experts May be Best for Your Child."
>
>The goal of eliminating every potential threat from a child's environment,
>be it high playground slides or bad grades, is peculiar to the United States
>and the United Kingdom, Furedi said.
>
>While certainly no one wants to go back to the days when children routinely
>died in car crashes or preventable accidents, it's micromanaging down to the
>Band-Aid level that disturbs Furedi.
>
>Other societies "still believe in children's resilience (and) understand
>that the risk of a child injuring herself is worth taking in order to allow
>her the freedom to explore her environment," he writes.
>
>The alleged dangers come from outside as well as our very homes, as stores,
>books and Web sites tout "child-proofing" products like bumpers for
>furniture that "make sharp corners safer for your baby."
>
>Almost 2,500 people subscribe to the listserv at www.SafeChild.net for
>safety updates, with the Web site receiving more than a million hits a
>month.
>
>"If parents are always afraid their children will get hurt, kids pick up on
>that," said Laurie Simmons, a licensed mental-health counselor in Kirkland,
>Wash. "Then kids can be afraid to take risks."
>
>And the constant vigilance makes parenting a more difficult job than it
>should be, Furedi says.
>
>Dr. Fred Rivara, former director of the Harborview Injury Prevention and
>Research Center is Seattle, is a person one might expect to be overly
>cautious. Yet he insists he's not "an injury fanatic."
>
>"Every kid is going to have some bumps and bruises," said Rivara, a
>University of Washington professor of pediatrics. "Parents need to think
>about the big things."
>
>If parents provide adequate supervision and follow the big precautions, such
>as installing smoke detectors, using car and booster seats and insisting
>kids wear life jackets around the water, they shouldn't sweat less-common
>types of injury, Rivara said.
>
>The cost of overprotection may be emotional rather than physical. "Research
>has found that the most important thing kids learn growing up is the ability
>to tolerate frustration and delay gratification," said Charles Elliot, a
>psychologist and coauthor of "Hollow Kids: Recapturing the Soul of a
>Generation Lost to the Self-Esteem Myth." "If we step in every time to
>satisfy a kid's desire or protect them from every difficulty, we're doing
>exactly the opposite of that."
>
>If parents are worried, for example, that a child will fall off the monkey
>bars, they should see it as a sign the child needs more practice, rather
>than as a signal to tell the child to stop, Simmons said.
>
>"You protect kids more by teaching skills, rather than stepping in."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>