How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

[Yi Jin]

I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
from deleting the history items in IE6?

Her PC is Windows 2000. She does need the write access to do her
homework during school days - right now she is just chating and
surfing.

Her PC connect to the wireless route, which connect to the cable
modem. My machine is also Windows 2000 Pro. Can I set a LAN network
so I can record all her activity in my machine?

If this a FAQ, sorry to ask again. Would appreciate if you can provide
a site for the FAQ.

Thanks,

Yi

[Marijke]

"Yi Jin" > wrote in message
...
>
> I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
> from deleting the history items in IE6?
>
>

You need to make the effort to know what she is doing while she is doing it.

I have three kids, 16, 14 and 11.5. They have their own computer but it is
in my office where my computer is, and within sightline of the living room.
They do have privileges to use the computer when we're not home but also
know that they'll lose it in a flash (and have lost it) if we feel there is
reason to revoke computer privileges.

The overriding rule in the house is that I must be able to glance at the
screen at any time to see what is going on. They are not allowed to shrink a
window when I enter the room or glance over. Yes, their conversations are
private, but a quick glance at the screen can give me a very good idea of
what is going on.

One child broke the rules once. He has not since because he learned the
lesson fast.

There's no substitute for parental supervision, no matter how great your own
computer is and what programs you install.

Marijke, in Montreal

[R. Steve Walz]

==Daye== wrote:
>
> On 19 Jul 2003 15:55:36 -0400, (Yi Jin) wrote:
>
> >I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> >way I can monitor here internet activity?
>
> Yes, sit beside her when she is on the internet, and make sure
> she is doing only approved activities.
-------------
She'll be sure to hate you, hate studying, hate computers, and
become a whore on the strip.
Steve

[R. Steve Walz]

Marijke wrote:
>
> "Yi Jin" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> > way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
> > from deleting the history items in IE6?
> >
> >
>
> You need to make the effort to know what she is doing while she is doing it.
>
> I have three kids, 16, 14 and 11.5. They have their own computer but it is
> in my office where my computer is, and within sightline of the living room.
> They do have privileges to use the computer when we're not home but also
> know that they'll lose it in a flash (and have lost it) if we feel there is
> reason to revoke computer privileges.
>
> The overriding rule in the house is that I must be able to glance at the
> screen at any time to see what is going on. They are not allowed to shrink a
> window when I enter the room or glance over. Yes, their conversations are
> private, but a quick glance at the screen can give me a very good idea of
> what is going on.
>
> One child broke the rules once. He has not since because he learned the
> lesson fast.
>
> There's no substitute for parental supervision, no matter how great your own
> computer is and what programs you install.
>
> Marijke, in Montreal
----------------------
These are the methods that cause the kid to become addicted to porn
and chatrooms the first time they are on their own.

Dumb!
Steve

[kereru]

"R. Steve Walz" > wrote in message
...
> ==Daye== wrote:
> >
> > On 19 Jul 2003 15:55:36 -0400, (Yi Jin) wrote:
> >
> > >I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> > >way I can monitor here internet activity?
> >
> > Yes, sit beside her when she is on the internet, and make sure
> > she is doing only approved activities.
> -------------
> She'll be sure to hate you, hate studying, hate computers, and
> become a whore on the strip.
> Steve

Well I wouldn't go as far as the whore on the strip. But the others aren't
so far fetched in the world of the teen.

Judy
Former teenager

[Dizzysmamma]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Duncan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}

[Mary Gordon]

In our house, the computer with internet access that the kids use is
in the kitchen/family room area (we have a built in desk in the
kitchen and the entire area is open concept). So, it would be very
difficult for a kid to be up to much without being caught, since with
2 adults and three kids in the house, plus the endless parade of
friends, neighbours, relatives - you are almost never alone in the
kitchen and everyone sees what you are doing (the screen actually
faces the hall, so everyone coming in or out can see what site you are
on)!

Works for us. Nothing destroys secrecy like having to be out in the
open.

Mary G.

[Sonnie B.]

If you are using a recent browser version like Internet Explorer
or Netscape, you can actually view the sites that have been visited.

In Internet Explorer it is under the tab/window called HISTORY.

If you click on that, a list of the visited websites will appear.
It usually shows the activity over the past few days as well.

Most of the time you'll find URLs like (I made these up),

- http://www.googleteens.com
- http://www.teenchatsite.com
- http://www.hometownnewsletter.com

but if your kid has been to any sites, they sometimes appear as,

- BIG NAUGHTY SITE *** HOT HOT
- LOVE IS A THREE LETTER WORD NAUGHTY SITE
- http://www.reallynaughtysite.com

You can actually monitor your child's activity without your child even
knowing that you are doing it. It's great.

However, the drawback is that if the child is aware of their HISTORY,
it is also very easy for them to delete the sites from it as well.

So, it is not a foolproof method, but it does work.

good luck!

SB



(Yi Jin) wrote in message >...
> I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
> from deleting the history items in IE6?
>
> Her PC is Windows 2000. She does need the write access to do her
> homework during school days - right now she is just chating and
> surfing.
>
> Her PC connect to the wireless route, which connect to the cable
> modem. My machine is also Windows 2000 Pro. Can I set a LAN network
> so I can record all her activity in my machine?
>
> If this a FAQ, sorry to ask again. Would appreciate if you can provide
> a site for the FAQ.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Yi

[Chookie]

In article >,
(Sonnie B.) wrote:

> You can actually monitor your child's activity without your child even
> knowing that you are doing it. It's great.

I have some problems with this -- and even with having the computer in a
public spot.

(a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material
(b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want
(c) You aren't telling your child about the dangers of giving out personal
details
(d) You will only find out they have seen something objectionable after the
event (even if it was accidental rather than deliberate)
(e) Your reaction then will almost certainly mean that your child won't turn
to you if they do stumble across something that worries them later
(f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they will
know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and spying is
acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.

This is a first pass for me as a Christian parent and librarian, but it seems
to me that we need to cover the following areas with our children:

1. Ways to find info on the net that will speed up searching and incidentally
minimise the risk of accidental p0rn viewing -- that is, using services like
the Yahoo directory, LII or BUBL over mindless search engines.

2. Netiquette (e-mail, chat and Usenet) -- not giving out personal details
would go here.

3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why you
don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid rape and how
to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life as well as the net,
obviously).

4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent services
independently, they know they can come to you if they come across something
weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.

Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
always accompany a child using online services. You don't let them into
swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
ideas. As the child gets older and becomes more streetwise, you can step back.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"...children should continue to be breastfed... for up to two years of age
or beyond." -- Innocenti Declaration, Florence, 1 August 1990

[Monkfish]

*** post for FREE via your newsreader at post.newsfeed.com ***

> Otherwise I'd have to hire a private detective to find out what she and her
> friends are talking about when they are having a "meeting" (usually in someones
> bathroom What is it with females going to the bathroom together anyway to "have
> a talk" <g>)

they're doing that already at 7 years old? lol




-----= Posted via Newsfeed.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeed.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== 100,000 Groups! - 19 Servers! - Unlimited Download! =-----

[Sonnie B.]

Apparently you didn't read the original post TOO closely... let me repeat
the OP's question:

"Is there any way I can monitor her [teenage child] internet activity?"

I believe I answered that question, while you have gone into territory
which, albeit correct, wasn't necessarily the topic.

Of course, your thoughts are a reminder that is definitely poignant.

~ SB

Chookie > wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> (Sonnie B.) wrote:
>
> > You can actually monitor your child's activity without your child even
> > knowing that you are doing it. It's great.
>
> I have some problems with this -- and even with having the computer in a
> public spot.
>
> (a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material
> (b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want
> (c) You aren't telling your child about the dangers of giving out personal
> details
> (d) You will only find out they have seen something objectionable after the
> event (even if it was accidental rather than deliberate)
> (e) Your reaction then will almost certainly mean that your child won't turn
> to you if they do stumble across something that worries them later
> (f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they will
> know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and spying is
> acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.
>
> This is a first pass for me as a Christian parent and librarian, but it seems
> to me that we need to cover the following areas with our children:
>
> 1. Ways to find info on the net that will speed up searching and incidentally
> minimise the risk of accidental p0rn viewing -- that is, using services like
> the Yahoo directory, LII or BUBL over mindless search engines.
>
> 2. Netiquette (e-mail, chat and Usenet) -- not giving out personal details
> would go here.
>
> 3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why you
> don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid rape and how
> to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life as well as the net,
> obviously).
>
> 4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent services
> independently, they know they can come to you if they come across something
> weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.
>
> Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
> always accompany a child using online services. You don't let them into
> swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
> ideas. As the child gets older and becomes more streetwise, you can step back.

[T.R.H.]

yes, there are lots of programs such as keystroke recorders that will do
screen captures etc. out there. Do a google search on keystroke monitor or
something like that. Stealth keyboard intereceptor works good, you'll get
their passwords as well.

hth


"Yi Jin" > wrote in message
...
>
> I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
> way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
> from deleting the history items in IE6?
>
> Her PC is Windows 2000. She does need the write access to do her
> homework during school days - right now she is just chating and
> surfing.
>
> Her PC connect to the wireless route, which connect to the cable
> modem. My machine is also Windows 2000 Pro. Can I set a LAN network
> so I can record all her activity in my machine?
>
> If this a FAQ, sorry to ask again. Would appreciate if you can provide
> a site for the FAQ.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Yi

[Donna Metler]

And the best filtering software out there won't block all objectionable
material, while blocking potentially useful stuff.

We have filters on the computers at school. They annoy me to no end, because
material I would like my children to be able to access is blocked. One
example considered "Objectionable/offensive content": The Digital Traditions
Folk Songs database. I expect the reason is that some folk songs contain
dated terms, which are now considered to be racially offensive (but are
appropriate to a historical study of the time).

However, when we first got the software installed, one of our 6th grade
students managed to locate a photo of a given rap artist-in the act of
recieving oral sex. She had been doing research for a independent project at
the time.

In general, most of my students are embarassed and humilated when they
accidentlally find something-and immediately tell me about it. I do walk
through the room constantly when they're working-but it is more to make sure
they're on task and not visiting dragonballz.com (or whatever this year's
fad will be).

Some of the filters get ridiculous. I am a board monitor for a board on
neopets (a virtual pets website, which has a lot of pre-and young teens)
which has very intensive language and content filters. I had a post refused
for telling someone (in answer to a question about my profession), that I
played "sax"-because apparently the language filter considers any word with
the combination of letters s*x to be offensive! Similarly, the written
number six is also considered offensive.

[Chookie]

In article >,
Wendy Marsden > wrote:

> > (a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material
>
> Who *is* equipped to avoid objectionable material?

I wasn't talking about spam filters. I was talking about *mental* equipment,
eg knowing that on the web, "Click here for hot teens!" isn't likely to
provide pictures of nice boys in trendy clothes.

> > (b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want
>
> I don't get this, either. By giving my daughter unfiltered access to the
> internet she is definitely more able to find the things she wants.

I think you have misunderstood my responses. The OP and subsequent discussion
was focussed on monitoring internet activity via history lists etc. My
alphabetic points are telling you what surveillance *won't* do.

BTW, if your daughter doesn't know any search strategy beyond "Google it",
she's wasting her research time. See my point 1.

<snip>

> > (f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they
> > will know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and
> > spying is acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.
>
> Not if it is part of the groundrules.

That is another option, but (if I were a teenager) I would still resent the
lack of trust that this ground rule implies. YMMV.

> > 3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why
> > you don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid
> > rape and how to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life
> > as well as the net, obviously).
>
> Yup, I agree. We're handling it. But how is monitoring their internet
> access avoiding this task?

Er, how does monitoring internet access fulfil it?

> > 4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent
> > services independently, they know they can come to you if they come across
> > something weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.
>
> We call this the family dinner conversation.

That's not what I meant. I meant that they can consult you *immediately* when
the nice person in the chat room starts asking what time they should meet at
Manchester airport. IOW being the kind of parent that can be relied on for
support, not hysterics, at such a moment. I don't think mk parents would fall
down on this, of course, but it has to be said.

> > Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
> > always accompany a child using online services. You don't let them into
> > swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
> > ideas. As the child gets older and becomes more streetwise, you can step
> > back.
>
> As it turns out, I let my teens go swimming unsupervised.

I imagine that would be because they can swim and you trust them to behave
decently in public. You are able to step back. OTOH I have a toddler.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"...children should continue to be breastfed... for up to two years of age
or beyond." -- Innocenti Declaration, Florence, 1 August 1990

[a unique individual]

>Imagine, the **** smearing all over his cock and flying everywhere, like a
>motorcycle stuck in the mud.
>

can't you think of anything more original than this? we're all getting a bit
bored by your imagery here....
something involving alexei yagudin, perhaps?


Saerah
There are no memes. Pass it on.

"i'm still perfecting my new sub-genre of ska. death ska. it's great...
*happy upstrum, happy upstrum* "SCAR!" *happy upstrum, happy upstrum*
"PAIN!" *happy upstrum, happy upstrum* "DEATH!"
-Eddie Hill

[Barbara Bomberger]

Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
rules and supervision..my take>
>(a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material

Its the nature of children to explore things that are objectionalble
to their parents - especially teenage children. I can assure you that
my kids know that "hot boys"are exactly what they are. However, I
believe that as a parent, it is my responsiblity to decide what is
objectionable and what is not. Occasionally we disagree, and then
discussions arise. And quite frankly, what you as a Christian parent
consider objectionable, and what I consider objectionable, may not be
the same thing. My job as a parent is to have my child leave home
equipped to make discerning decisions on their own. Its a process and
its my job to guide them through that process. It takes a long time.

>(b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want
I dont get this. My child knows how to do searches online, in print
and find material that they need, wether for personal or research
reasons. I am simply putting some of that information off limits,
depending on age and maturity. Just like I do some "R" movies.

>(c) You aren't telling your child about the dangers of giving out personal
>details
Of course i am. However, telling a child once, twice or even three
times is rarely enough. Its a repitition thing, as is most learning.
Meanwhile, I dont want a mistake made during the learning process.
And while they are learning t he dangers, I would rather not I, or
they, experience some of them

>(d) You will only find out they have seen something objectionable after the
>event (even if it was accidental rather than deliberate)
No, if its in a public place, it s more like "during" the event. And
even if it were always true, thats the same with most things. It
still doesnt prevent me from making it a learning experience.

>(e) Your reaction then will almost certainly mean that your child won't turn
>to you if they do stumble across something that worries them later
Nonsense.

In our house, (and in many others I expect) we would answer the
immediate questions, deal with the immediate problems if necessary and
then discuss later. AGain, this would be a learning experience as to
why said child shouldnt have visited said site, given out information
and so on. Kind of like t he drinking and driving contract we have
here. I have told my kid a gazillion times not to drink and drive or
get in the car with someone who does. Should a sitiuation arise, I
agree to come and get said kid(s) instantly. We then have
aconversation about the situation later, when all are calm and so on.

>(f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they will
>know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and spying is
>acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.
My kid know that while I respect their privacy, I also care for their
physical and mental well being. The fact that I leave my computer out
in public generally makes it unnecessary for me to spy. HOwever, in
my case, I haven't tricked my kids. They know we monitor the computer.
PERIOD. I dont allow chat when Im not around. period. I dont have
to lie or decieve.

>1. Ways to find info on the net that will speed up searching and incidentally
>minimise the risk of accidental p0rn viewing -- that is, using services like
>the Yahoo directory, LII or BUBL over mindless search engines.
This is already addressed. However, what about chat sites, casual fun
viewing and so on. YOu can even find porn on yahoo.
>
>2. Netiquette (e-mail, chat and Usenet) -- not giving out personal details
>would go here.
We've discussed this. Kids need rule reinforcement, and rule
supervision. Peer pressure rules.
>
>3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why you
>don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid rape and how
>to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life as well as the net,
>obviously).

My children know why I dont believe they should look at porn. However
they have minds of their own, think on their own, and regularly, as
children, challenge everyday beliefs,
>
>4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent services
>independently, they know they can come to you if they come across something
>weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.
My children can do that at any time. Example in point: My thirteen
yearold wnated to get on the shockwave game site, and accidntally just
typed the word shock - trust me, don't do it. Sigh.
>Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
>always accompany a child using online services.
Well, I show my child how to use the service, supervise their use, and
then slowly let go,
>swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
>ideas.
I do let my preteens and teenagers swim unsupervised (by me, not by
lifeguards and so on) and my teenagers swim unsupervised as long as
they are in groups and not alone.

Barb

[Chookie]

In article >,
Barbara Bomberger > wrote:

> Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
> adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
> rules and supervision..my take>

<snip most of it>

You are doing more than monitoring your children's internet activity then.
This was the point I wanted to make strongly to the OP -- whacking on a
surveillance program doesn't go anywhere towards meeting children's needs in
this area, and might have the opposite result from the expected.

> However, I
> believe that as a parent, it is my responsiblity to decide what is
> objectionable and what is not. Occasionally we disagree, and then
> discussions arise. And quite frankly, what you as a Christian parent
> consider objectionable, and what I consider objectionable, may not be
> the same thing.

I'm a bit puzzled. I agree with all of this -- what made you think I
wouldn't? Though I suspect most parents probably have similar criteria for
"objectionable" wrt under-12s -- pictures of people having nooky (RSW
aside!), race hate/Holocaust denial sites, and distressing material involving
cruelty to animals/people. I think one has to deal with adolescents on an
individual basis.

> >Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
> >always accompany a child using online services.
> Well, I show my child how to use the service, supervise their use, and
> then slowly let go,

I expect to be doing the same thing in a few years time. DS is only two,
remember, and only knows that Daddy can show him pictures of trains. People
with lives may be unaware that there are apparently millions of gunzles
posting pictures of their favourite trains for the admiration of the world...

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"...children should continue to be breastfed... for up to two years of age
or beyond." -- Innocenti Declaration, Florence, 1 August 1990

[R. Steve Walz]

Barbara Bomberger wrote:
>
> On Thu, 24 Jul 2003 22:41:38 +1000, Chookie
> > wrote:
>
> >In article >,
> > Barbara Bomberger > wrote:
> >
> >> Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
> >> adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
> >> rules and supervision..my take>
> >
> ><snip most of it>
> >
> >You are doing more than monitoring your children's internet activity then.
> >This was the point I wanted to make strongly to the OP -- whacking on a
> >surveillance program doesn't go anywhere towards meeting children's needs in
> >this area, and might have the opposite result from the expected.
>
> Well, in that I agree. Unfortunately, there are alot of people who
> dont even prepare for this kind of thing . They either dont see it
> coming, or they havent had open discussion with their kids, and all of
> it sudden its "oops" what do I do now!
>
> this doesnt just happen to internet access. an example is the other
> discussion on the young adult leaving the house. Mom and dad have set
> rules, done things in a certiajn way, and all of a sudden its "whoops"
> . NOw the kid is out of the house, and instead of being prepared to
> be out of the house, it sounds (at least to me), that we have a sink
> or swim situation.
> >
> >I'm a bit puzzled. I agree with all of this -- what made you think I
> >wouldn't? Though I suspect most parents probably have similar criteria for
> >"objectionable" wrt under-12s -- pictures of people having nooky (RSW
> >aside!), race hate/Holocaust denial sites, and distressing material involving
> >cruelty to animals/people. I think one has to deal with adolescents on an
> >individual basis.
>
> Yes, but you did imply that checking on where a kid has been online
> was an invasion of privacy.
--------------------
Yes, it is!


I think thats good parenting.
-----------------------------
No, it isn't, it makes them hate your ****ing guts and ignore and
dishonor you in their mind.


> I also
> expect to know where my children have been at all times in real life .
> period.
> Barb
---------------------
That's because you're a low-grade moron.
Steve