New father-to-be to twins...and nerves

[S. L. Richardson]

Dear Group,

I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question
please...

My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per
OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage -
I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's
an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could
"afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff,
then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time
and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out
at 17 weeks.

Now...

I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too,
don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23
weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and
child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before?
Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident
and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice?

Thanks in advance

Jason in Texas

[Truffles]

S. L. Richardson wrote:

> Dear Group,
>
> I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question
> please...
>
> My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per
> OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage -
> I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's
> an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could
> "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff,
> then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time
> and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out
> at 17 weeks.
>
> Now...
>
> I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too,
> don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23
> weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and
> child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before?
> Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident
> and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice?

I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself.
That, and support your wife.

Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-)

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[Shirley M...have a goodaa \\;-\)]

Welcome to the group. As a an older mom - we were married quiet a bit
longer than 11 years - closer to 24. We have a ton friends with kids and
family with kids etc, etc. No one is totally prepared for the first round.
I know we weren't no matter what we thought. I did read a lot and had more
than 20 baby/child development books and child psy books from Eric Eriksson
to Anna Freud to Sears. I still do things sometimes by the seat of our
pants and wing it. One thing I do know for sure is that you learn to read
your children. Even having twins, one of ours needs to be directed a bit
more than the other and the other is more sensitive than the first. You
will learn and do a great job. Mostly because you care and love. Good luck
and welcome to the group.

Shirley
mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95

PS: We are now minus our great golden retriever who had to be put down this
week. She will certainly be missed. I'm so tired of death here. First my
dad in February and now the dog. Mom's not doing great either. I have to
remember that each is given only as much as one can bear.

"Truffles" > wrote in message
...
> S. L. Richardson wrote:
>
> > Dear Group,
> >
> > I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question
> > please...
> >
> > My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per
> > OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of
marriage -
> > I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers -
she's
> > an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could
> > "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility
stuff,
> > then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time
> > and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found
out
> > at 17 weeks.
> >
> > Now...
> >
> > I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too,
> > don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23
> > weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and
> > child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before?
> > Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100%
confident
> > and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon.
So...advice?
>
> I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself.
> That, and support your wife.
>
> Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-)
>
> --
> Brigitte aa #2145
> edd #3 February 15, 2004
> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/
>
> "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
> ~ Harriet Martineau
>

[Robert Hampton]

S. L. Richardson wrote:
> Dear Group,
>
> I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question
> please...
>
> My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per
> OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage -
> I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's
> an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could
> "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff,
> then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time
> and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out
> at 17 weeks.
>
> Now...
>
> I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too,
> don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23
> weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and
> child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before?
> Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident
> and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice?

Our first daughter (she'll be 5 next week) was born when I was 31 & wife
was 25. While I wouldn't say I was panicking, I was pretty anxious
about it all. I don't think there's ever such a thing as "being ready"
but you'll get it. We went through a parenting class at the hospital a
couple of months before the birth that was pretty interesting and helped
somewhat. "What to Expect When Your Expecting" helped me as well. Some
of the best things I did for my wife was just to be there for her and do
as she asked. I explained to my wife that my mind didn't work like hers
and sometimes I wouldn't realize when I wasn't helping enough. I made
her promise she would ask me for help. Daughters three and four are due
late August. It finally sunk in good that we are having twins this
weekend when Jackie put both basinettes together and had all of our
infant "outfits" laid out on our bed to pick the going-home clothes.
I'm really looking forward to them but still nervous. Don't worry, it
goes away.

--
Robert Hampton
Genesis POS
http://www.genesispos.com
(866) 942-8813 Voice
(325) 942-8872 Fax

[S. L. Richardson]

Robert - thanks for the advice. This below sounds like a great idea. It's
true, and simple, too - I know I won't realize it, either, because my life
consists now of work, golf, food, sleep, then start all over again. Thus,
I'm not used to the work load around the house and caring for newborns.
Thanks -
Jason


I explained to my wife that my mind didn't work like hers
> and sometimes I wouldn't realize when I wasn't helping enough. I made
> her promise she would ask me for help.

[S. L. Richardson]

Shirley,

Thanks. I think part of me (the anal retentive part) wants to be prepared
for everything. Hearing someone say you can't prepare for it all helps.
Jason

"Shirley M...have a goodaa \;-)" > wrote in
message news:5jLNa.113729$R73.12675@sccrnsc04...
> Welcome to the group. As a an older mom - we were married quiet a bit
> longer than 11 years - closer to 24. We have a ton friends with kids and
> family with kids etc, etc. No one is totally prepared for the first
round.
> I know we weren't no matter what we thought. I did read a lot and had
more
> than 20 baby/child development books and child psy books from Eric
Eriksson
> to Anna Freud to Sears. I still do things sometimes by the seat of our
> pants and wing it. One thing I do know for sure is that you learn to read
> your children. Even having twins, one of ours needs to be directed a bit
> more than the other and the other is more sensitive than the first. You
> will learn and do a great job. Mostly because you care and love. Good
luck
> and welcome to the group.
>
> Shirley
> mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95
>
> PS: We are now minus our great golden retriever who had to be put down
this
> week. She will certainly be missed. I'm so tired of death here. First
my
> dad in February and now the dog. Mom's not doing great either. I have to
> remember that each is given only as much as one can bear.
>
> "Truffles" > wrote in message
> ...
> > S. L. Richardson wrote:
> >
> > > Dear Group,
> > >
> > > I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question
> > > please...
> > >
> > > My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier
per
> > > OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of
> marriage -
> > > I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers -
> she's
> > > an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we
could
> > > "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility
> stuff,
> > > then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time
> > > and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we
found
> out
> > > at 17 weeks.
> > >
> > > Now...
> > >
> > > I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited,
too,
> > > don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at
23
> > > weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and
> > > child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here
before?
> > > Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100%
> confident
> > > and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon.
> So...advice?
> >
> > I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself.
> > That, and support your wife.
> >
> > Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-)
> >
> > --
> > Brigitte aa #2145
> > edd #3 February 15, 2004
> > http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/
> >
> > "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
> > ~ Harriet Martineau
> >
>
>