Help!!

[Tanya Makins]

Hi,

I'm new to this newsgroup but I have made a couple of responces so this is
who I am.
32 year old ex Accountant, now full time Mum, 'Tanya', married to John, self
employed Joiner who works a lot of hours. We have Joseph aged 6 and twins
Molly and Charley now 18 months old. They're angels really, they have
slepped 12 hours through the night since I put them in their own room at
about 6 months. I love them to bits but wish I had more time to enjoy them
rather than doing all the endless chores around the house. My husband
claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I sit
on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to convince him
otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.

Tanya, Nottinghamshire, England

[The Fackrell's]

oh Tanya, I so relate! In fact I've spent the better half of today crying
and being at my wits ends!! Oh how I wish I could just pack up and leave for
the whole weekend and leave the husband to watch the kids (with OUT his
folks coming down to help him!!)....but I fear at what would happen!! Just
the other night I was blown away by his ineptness to do some of the simplest
of things...I don't know if he was just being hostile towards me or
what....when I left everything was fine! I left at 6:30pm to attend our
local multiples club meeting...at 7pm all he had to do was change their
diapers, put a onesie on one of them (austin already had his on), give them
their bottle and put them in their cribs, turn the music on and turn off the
light....they are REALLY easy to put down and know their schedule!! Well,
when I got home and checked on them @ 9:30 or 10pm.... I was dumbfounded to
find that he hadn't bothered to change their diapers nor put Amber in a
onesie.....now, keep in mind we do cloth diapers and just recently decided
to do disposables at night so needless to say, both kiddos were drenched!!!
I was so upset!! LUCKILY, my changing them entirely didn't stir them too
much so they went back to sleep.....but boy, was I furious!! the ONE night a
month....just 3 Hours....and he couldn't or wouldn't do it!!!!!GRRRRRRR
But I did get a call from my WONDERFUL FIL...who DOES come down to help on
occasion (changes diapers and everything)....anyway, he gave me High praises
the other week and said he truly appreciated me and doesn't see how I do it
all day long and that I should let his son watch them alone for a few
hours...etc etc etc...Oh how I wish!!! But I know that weekend would NOT be
relaxing as I would be worried about the kids! lol
Let me guess.....does yours come home from work and sit/lay on the couch
watching tv all night while your still up and about cleaning the kitchen,
doing laundry, etc etc?? ......oh...thought....you should tell him that HE
is very lucky as Most Men come home and help around the house!
I remember a statement made on a group I belonged to a while back...the SAHM
commented that HIS job was to bring home the money, HER job was to rear the
kids during the day and THEIR job was to keep the house and rear the kids
TOGETHER when he was home....something along those lines anyway!....
Anyway, if I ever come up with something to get my DH to understand that No,
we don't sit on our butts watching soap opera's and eating bon bons all day,
I'll let ya know!!
--
Gwen, Designer Wraps
SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)


tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives!
www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but singletons
can use it too!)
www.familyauction.com
www.wahmall.com
www.wahmauctions.com

[The Fackrell's]

Will you marry me? :)

--
Gwen, Designer Wraps
SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)


tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives!
www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but singletons
can use it too!)
www.familyauction.com
www.wahmall.com
www.wahmauctions.com

"Robert Hampton" > wrote in message
...
> Tanya Makins wrote:
>
> > I'm new to this newsgroup but I have made a couple of responces so this
is
> > who I am.
> > 32 year old ex Accountant, now full time Mum, 'Tanya', married to John,
self
> > employed Joiner who works a lot of hours. We have Joseph aged 6 and
twins
> > Molly and Charley now 18 months old. They're angels really, they have
> > slepped 12 hours through the night since I put them in their own room at
> > about 6 months. I love them to bits but wish I had more time to enjoy
them
> > rather than doing all the endless chores around the house. My husband
> > claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I
sit
> > on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to convince
him
> > otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.
>
> Smack him around a little maybe? Seriously, though, I think many
> husbands may never understand what a SAH mom goes through until they
> spend significant time by themselves with the kids. I work from home
> and really can't help much during the day but I can see what my wife
> does. I also keep the girls on the occasional night or Saturday my wife
> goes somewhere. It helps quite a bit with my understanding. I also
> tell my wife to worry less about vacuuming the floor or other minor
> housework and spend more time with the girls. She's beginning to
> realize that with two girls (and two more coming any day now!) that the
> house is not ever going to be immaculate for any length of time.
> Sometimes she has to give me gentle reminders that I'm not helping
> enough or spending enough time with the family, but it's an agreement we
> made a long time ago and I don't get mad when she reminds me. Try to
> find some sort of getaway for, say, Friday night and all day Saturday
> with him watching the kids. Maybe even leave a list of some things you
> would like done around the house while your gone. That might open his
> eyes, providing he's willing to do all of that. One thing we try to do
> is make a list of all of the household chores and childcare chores and
> assign tasks for each of us. Of course she does get most of them, but
> what I do significantly helps her. I can't iron worth a flip and
> absolutely hate doing dishes, but I cook dinner a lot and do the
> occasional load of laundry, take out the trash, make the bed and several
> other things. One thing I've noticed is that if I just pick up after
> myself, I relieve a HUGE amount of her workload. We men are a lot of
> work to keep around. Of course, this works for us because I'm willing
> and WANT to help her. It may be more difficult with your husband. If
> you have friends whose husbands help out more, maybe they can slyly talk
> to him. A couple of ladies at our church have begged me to talk to
> their husbands. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I rambled
> quite a bit but I hope you can take something from the mess above to
> help you out. Good luck.
>
> --
> Robert Hampton
> Genesis POS
> http://www.genesispos.com
> (866) 942-8813 Voice
> (325) 942-8872 Fax
>

[Robert Hampton]

The Fackrell's wrote:
> Will you marry me? :)

LOL I'll have to check with my wife on that. :)

--
Robert Hampton
Genesis POS
http://www.genesispos.com
(866) 942-8813 Voice
(325) 942-8872 Fax

[Andrea]

>My husband
>claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I sit
>on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to convince him
>otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.

Tanya-

I'm so sorry your dh is not more empathetic to your situation. My dh & I
celebrated our 8th anniversary yesterday & I still haven't figured out a way to
get him to do more around the house.

I almost slapped him one day when he told me "You have to admit, you have it
pretty easy Andrea." He was referring to me not having to "work". He works
between 70-90 hours per week and I am responsible for doing pretty much
everything around here. When he's home he does help with the children, but
he's just not home much. Even when he's home I still have to ask him to do
things, like give the girls a bath so that I can get the kitchen cleaned up.

I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, just wanted to let you know you're not
alone.

Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison

[C Straka]

Tanya:
I guess he is one of these people who needs to walk a mile in your fuzzy
pink slippers. Is there any chance you can leave him alone with the children
for a few hours by himself? If this is too much of a stretch, could you lock
yourself into the bathroom for an hour and just shout instructions at him
through the door? Even a short period of time might be enough to open his
eyes to what your day is really like.

Claudia




"Andrea" > wrote in message
...
> >My husband
> >claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I
sit
> >on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to convince
him
> >otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.
>
> Tanya-
>
> I'm so sorry your dh is not more empathetic to your situation. My dh & I
> celebrated our 8th anniversary yesterday & I still haven't figured out a
way to
> get him to do more around the house.
>
> I almost slapped him one day when he told me "You have to admit, you
have it
> pretty easy Andrea." He was referring to me not having to "work". He
works
> between 70-90 hours per week and I am responsible for doing pretty much
> everything around here. When he's home he does help with the children,
but
> he's just not home much. Even when he's home I still have to ask him to
do
> things, like give the girls a bath so that I can get the kitchen cleaned
up.
>
> I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, just wanted to let you know you're not
> alone.
>
> Andrea
> twin girls-Jordan & Madison

[Robert Hampton]

OK, ya'll are making my blush. :-[
--
Robert Hampton


Anita wrote:

> You'll have to fight me for him! ; )
>
> Anita
>
> "The Fackrell's" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>Will you marry me? :)
>>
>>--
>>Gwen, Designer Wraps
>>SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)


>>tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives!
>>www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but
>
> singletons
>
>>can use it too!)
>>www.familyauction.com
>>www.wahmall.com
>>www.wahmauctions.com
>>
>>"Robert Hampton" > wrote in message
...
>>
>>>Tanya Makins wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>I'm new to this newsgroup but I have made a couple of responces so
>
> this
>
>>is
>>
>>>>who I am.
>>>>32 year old ex Accountant, now full time Mum, 'Tanya', married to
>
> John,
>
>>self
>>
>>>>employed Joiner who works a lot of hours. We have Joseph aged 6 and
>>
>>twins
>>
>>>>Molly and Charley now 18 months old. They're angels really, they have
>>>>slepped 12 hours through the night since I put them in their own room
>
> at
>
>>>>about 6 months. I love them to bits but wish I had more time to enjoy
>>
>>them
>>
>>>>rather than doing all the endless chores around the house. My husband
>>>>claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I
>>
>>sit
>>
>>>>on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to
>
> convince
>
>>him
>>
>>>>otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.
>>>
>>>Smack him around a little maybe? Seriously, though, I think many
>>>husbands may never understand what a SAH mom goes through until they
>>>spend significant time by themselves with the kids. I work from home
>>>and really can't help much during the day but I can see what my wife
>>>does. I also keep the girls on the occasional night or Saturday my wife
>>>goes somewhere. It helps quite a bit with my understanding. I also
>>>tell my wife to worry less about vacuuming the floor or other minor
>>>housework and spend more time with the girls. She's beginning to
>>>realize that with two girls (and two more coming any day now!) that the
>>>house is not ever going to be immaculate for any length of time.
>>>Sometimes she has to give me gentle reminders that I'm not helping
>>>enough or spending enough time with the family, but it's an agreement we
>>>made a long time ago and I don't get mad when she reminds me. Try to
>>>find some sort of getaway for, say, Friday night and all day Saturday
>>>with him watching the kids. Maybe even leave a list of some things you
>>>would like done around the house while your gone. That might open his
>>>eyes, providing he's willing to do all of that. One thing we try to do
>>>is make a list of all of the household chores and childcare chores and
>>>assign tasks for each of us. Of course she does get most of them, but
>>>what I do significantly helps her. I can't iron worth a flip and
>>>absolutely hate doing dishes, but I cook dinner a lot and do the
>>>occasional load of laundry, take out the trash, make the bed and several
>>>other things. One thing I've noticed is that if I just pick up after
>>>myself, I relieve a HUGE amount of her workload. We men are a lot of
>>>work to keep around. Of course, this works for us because I'm willing
>>>and WANT to help her. It may be more difficult with your husband. If
>>>you have friends whose husbands help out more, maybe they can slyly talk
>>>to him. A couple of ladies at our church have begged me to talk to
>>>their husbands. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I rambled
>>>quite a bit but I hope you can take something from the mess above to
>>>help you out. Good luck.
>>>--
>>>Robert Hampton

[The Fackrell's]

LOL.....ah heck....my man came through for me last night though....he
must've sensed it cuz he came home earlier than expected and jumped right
in....taking the kids elsewhere when they started to whine or scream....heck
I even got to indulge myself with a soak in the bathtub (WITH my Burts Bees
therapeutic bath crystals!!) AND he whipped me up a "special" drink!! It was
SOOOO nice!

--
Gwen, Designer Wraps
SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)


tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives!
www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but singletons
can use it too!)
www.familyauction.com
www.wahmall.com
www.wahmauctions.com

"Robert Hampton" > wrote in message
...
> OK, ya'll are making my blush. :-[
> --
> Robert Hampton
>
>
> Anita wrote:
>
> > You'll have to fight me for him! ; )
> >
> > Anita
> >
> > "The Fackrell's" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >
> >>Will you marry me? :)
> >>
> >>--
> >>Gwen, Designer Wraps
> >>SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)
>
>
> >>tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives!
> >>www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but
> >
> > singletons
> >
> >>can use it too!)
> >>www.familyauction.com
> >>www.wahmall.com
> >>www.wahmauctions.com
> >>
> >>"Robert Hampton" > wrote in message
> ...
> >>
> >>>Tanya Makins wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>I'm new to this newsgroup but I have made a couple of responces so
> >
> > this
> >
> >>is
> >>
> >>>>who I am.
> >>>>32 year old ex Accountant, now full time Mum, 'Tanya', married to
> >
> > John,
> >
> >>self
> >>
> >>>>employed Joiner who works a lot of hours. We have Joseph aged 6 and
> >>
> >>twins
> >>
> >>>>Molly and Charley now 18 months old. They're angels really, they have
> >>>>slepped 12 hours through the night since I put them in their own room
> >
> > at
> >
> >>>>about 6 months. I love them to bits but wish I had more time to enjoy
> >>
> >>them
> >>
> >>>>rather than doing all the endless chores around the house. My husband
> >>>>claims I am very lucky as most women have to go to work!!! He thinks I
> >>
> >>sit
> >>
> >>>>on my backside all day doing nothing....... anyone any ideas to
> >
> > convince
> >
> >>him
> >>
> >>>>otherwise as I am constantly close to tears.
> >>>
> >>>Smack him around a little maybe? Seriously, though, I think many
> >>>husbands may never understand what a SAH mom goes through until they
> >>>spend significant time by themselves with the kids. I work from home
> >>>and really can't help much during the day but I can see what my wife
> >>>does. I also keep the girls on the occasional night or Saturday my
wife
> >>>goes somewhere. It helps quite a bit with my understanding. I also
> >>>tell my wife to worry less about vacuuming the floor or other minor
> >>>housework and spend more time with the girls. She's beginning to
> >>>realize that with two girls (and two more coming any day now!) that the
> >>>house is not ever going to be immaculate for any length of time.
> >>>Sometimes she has to give me gentle reminders that I'm not helping
> >>>enough or spending enough time with the family, but it's an agreement
we
> >>>made a long time ago and I don't get mad when she reminds me. Try to
> >>>find some sort of getaway for, say, Friday night and all day Saturday
> >>>with him watching the kids. Maybe even leave a list of some things you
> >>>would like done around the house while your gone. That might open his
> >>>eyes, providing he's willing to do all of that. One thing we try to do
> >>>is make a list of all of the household chores and childcare chores and
> >>>assign tasks for each of us. Of course she does get most of them, but
> >>>what I do significantly helps her. I can't iron worth a flip and
> >>>absolutely hate doing dishes, but I cook dinner a lot and do the
> >>>occasional load of laundry, take out the trash, make the bed and
several
> >>>other things. One thing I've noticed is that if I just pick up after
> >>>myself, I relieve a HUGE amount of her workload. We men are a lot of
> >>>work to keep around. Of course, this works for us because I'm willing
> >>>and WANT to help her. It may be more difficult with your husband. If
> >>>you have friends whose husbands help out more, maybe they can slyly
talk
> >>>to him. A couple of ladies at our church have begged me to talk to
> >>>their husbands. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I rambled
> >>>quite a bit but I hope you can take something from the mess above to
> >>>help you out. Good luck.
> >>>--
> >>>Robert Hampton
>