How to deal with fears?

[Andrea]

I know that childhood fears start popping up around this age (3 1/2 next
month), but one of my twins is taking it to the extreme. Madison will not go
into any room by herself until someone goes in & turns the light on for her,
even in the middle of the day. She says there are monsters everywhere. She
also asks questions about monsters all the time. She asks if I like monsters
and if Daddy likes monsters. I keep telling her there are no monsters. She
wants Jordan to go everywhere in the house with her because she says she is
scared.

Is there anything else I can do to help ease her mind? I have thought about
making a "monster spray" and spraying it around to "get rid of the monsters",
but I feel that might be counterproductive since I keep telling her there are
no monsters. I feel terrible that she seems to be so worried about this. I
don't know if there's something I can do about it or if we just have to wait
out this stage. What do you all think?

Oh, I also wanted to add that I monitor what they watch on TV very closely, so
it's not like she's up at night watching the Sci Fi channel or anything like
that. There are only a few shows they are allowed to watch, but I did notice
something about a "monster bear" on 'Little Bear' a while back, but it didn't
seem scary at all to me. I'm not sure if this contributed to her fears.

TIA,
Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

[Leslie]

>
> Is there anything else I can do to help ease her mind? I have thought
about
> making a "monster spray" and spraying it around to "get rid of the
monsters",
> but I feel that might be counterproductive since I keep telling her there
are
> no monsters.


We just started the whole monster thing in the past couple weeks. (Are you
sure our kids aren't talking to each other on the phone?) The first time
Jordan mentioned it, we were lying in my bed going to sleep. I admit I was
lazy and exhausted, so I didn't want to get up and find a spray bottle to
use. Instead I told them to blow the monsters away. Then we all blew really
hard. Since then we've decided that monsters have lots of hair, like on
sesame street, and when we blow it messes up their hair. That's why they
don't like it and go away. Now we just make up silly stories about all the
silly monsters and they know they have the "power" to get rid of them
whenever they want by blowing. It worked for us. That's what my
sleep-deprived brain came up with anyway. ;-)


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

[Andrea]

>I told them to blow the monsters away. Then we all blew really
>hard. Since then we've decided that monsters have lots of hair, like on
>sesame street, and when we blow it messes up their hair. That's why they
>don't like it and go away. Now we just make up silly stories about all the
>silly monsters and they know they have the "power" to get rid of them
>whenever they want by blowing. It worked for us. That's what my
>sleep-deprived brain came up with anyway. ;-)
>

That's a great idea! You're right, that does empower them. I'll try it
tomorrow and see if it works for Madison (fingers crossed).

Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison
3 yrs. old

[Shirley M...have a goodaa \\;-\)]

The monster thing disappears about 8 or so. We just recently have been able
to go and come from dark rooms (most of the time with a flashlight). At 3
we did monster checks all over and yes the spray kind of works for a short
time then they discover that they don't go away. We gave each a flashlight
to make sure the "monster" doesn't come back. They never used it but felt
comfortable having their own weapons to help see in the night. We always
use nightlights and even now leave on a reading light until they are
asleep - then I turn it off. I don't think there is any problem with it, my
own mother used to sleep with lights on when my dad worked the midnight
shift so I learned to sleep with the lights on. Anyhow, we don't make fun
of them but help them control the situation, even at 8.5.

Shirley
Chris and Kathleen 1/95

"Andrea" > wrote in message
...
> >I told them to blow the monsters away. Then we all blew really
> >hard. Since then we've decided that monsters have lots of hair, like on
> >sesame street, and when we blow it messes up their hair. That's why they
> >don't like it and go away. Now we just make up silly stories about all
the
> >silly monsters and they know they have the "power" to get rid of them
> >whenever they want by blowing. It worked for us. That's what my
> >sleep-deprived brain came up with anyway. ;-)
> >
>
> That's a great idea! You're right, that does empower them. I'll try it
> tomorrow and see if it works for Madison (fingers crossed).
>
> Andrea
> twin girls-Jordan & Madison
> 3 yrs. old
>

[pam]

Alix if very fearful. Callie is not, but i think she is just
oblivious. when Callie gets tired, she just goes to bed. dark or not.

Alix has this obsession with "eyes." first time it happened she woke
up crying, "i saw a eye!" the very next day i saw a show on called
Lloyd in Space with an alien with one eye. Alix asked, "why does he
only have one eye?" so i'm wondering if that was the culprit.

we try to talk about monsters not being real and they are only on TV.
which works...during the day. but it doesn't stop at the monsters. we
have a young neighbor who had parties all summer. when Alix hears the
people laughing, she'll call us in the bedroom to tell us she hears
people laughing and she's afraid they might take her. we haven't even
approached strangers and abduction. the poor kid wouldn't leave the
house if we did!

the other night she was afraid the clouds would fall on us and her
Papa. last night she hurried in the house because she was afraid of
mosquitos (which isn't a bad thing really!) Callie has run away from
us in public more times than i can count. i never have to worry where
Alix is, she's rightnexttome.

one day Alix didn't want to leave the van in the parking structure
'cos someone might take it. she is not going to do well in this
family. we are forever searching for our keys, only to find them
hanging from our door...when we remember to lock our doors. and i
usually don't lock my car doors 'cos i'm paranoid i'm gonna lock the
keys in there. it's happened. more than once.

maybe we jinxed ourselves by giving her the same name as Alex P.
Keaton!

pam

[Richard K Raupach]

This is a bit late but I'm just checking this group out for the first time.
My wife and I have 3 yo triplet boys. A few months ago one of them started
telling us there are monsters upstairs in their bedroom. My solution was to
tell him that this is "Daddy's house" and Daddy does not let any monters in
the house. This actually has worked and we've had no problems since!

Rich
husband to Carolyn
father to Matthew, Jeremy, Nicholas 6/29/2000 and Rebecca 6/2/2003




"Andrea" > wrote in message
...
> I know that childhood fears start popping up around this age (3 1/2 next
> month), but one of my twins is taking it to the extreme. Madison will not
go
> into any room by herself until someone goes in & turns the light on for
her,
> even in the middle of the day. She says there are monsters everywhere.
She
> also asks questions about monsters all the time. She asks if I like
monsters
> and if Daddy likes monsters. I keep telling her there are no monsters.
She
> wants Jordan to go everywhere in the house with her because she says she
is
> scared.
>
> Is there anything else I can do to help ease her mind? I have thought
about
> making a "monster spray" and spraying it around to "get rid of the
monsters",
> but I feel that might be counterproductive since I keep telling her there
are
> no monsters. I feel terrible that she seems to be so worried about this.
I
> don't know if there's something I can do about it or if we just have to
wait
> out this stage. What do you all think?
>
> Oh, I also wanted to add that I monitor what they watch on TV very
closely, so
> it's not like she's up at night watching the Sci Fi channel or anything
like
> that. There are only a few shows they are allowed to watch, but I did
notice
> something about a "monster bear" on 'Little Bear' a while back, but it
didn't
> seem scary at all to me. I'm not sure if this contributed to her fears.
>
> TIA,
> Andrea
> twin girls-Madison & Jordan
> 3/22/00