Sibling Rivalry

[Tanya Makins]

Hi,

Can anyone advise me on how to deal with a jelous 6 year old. The twins are
now 19 months old and his behaviour has just got worse since they were born.
He's really cheaky, won't go to bed all the usual stuff I suppose. I have
always been very good at routine but he seams to be very good at messing
things up. I've tried different approaches, being upset, being quiet,
shouting, smacking, taking things off him.... nothing works, he is really
quite good with the twins and they love him! Everyone he spends time
with.... without us, says what a good boy he is, school is very pleased with
him - who is this boy? I would like to see him once in a while.
I know this is probably normal but is there anything new to try and how long
will it last???
Luckily the babies are quite good, they sleep well - at least 12 hours a
night and they only fall out with eachother a little bit.
Anyone any suggestions, it would be really appreciated!!!

Tanya
Notts - England

[multimom4]

Our 6 year olds do not have jealousy over their sister ... but we are
definitely going through a challenging time of not wanting to listen or
cooperate *at home* while perfect or near-perfect everywhere else. No
suggestions, we are floundering too, but wanted to LYK you are not alone.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

"Tanya Makins" > wrote in message
...
> Hi,
>
> Can anyone advise me on how to deal with a jelous 6 year old. The twins
are
> now 19 months old and his behaviour has just got worse since they were
born.
> He's really cheaky, won't go to bed all the usual stuff I suppose. I have
> always been very good at routine but he seams to be very good at messing
> things up. I've tried different approaches, being upset, being quiet,
> shouting, smacking, taking things off him.... nothing works, he is really
> quite good with the twins and they love him! Everyone he spends time
> with.... without us, says what a good boy he is, school is very pleased
with
> him - who is this boy? I would like to see him once in a while.
> I know this is probably normal but is there anything new to try and how
long
> will it last???
> Luckily the babies are quite good, they sleep well - at least 12 hours a
> night and they only fall out with eachother a little bit.
> Anyone any suggestions, it would be really appreciated!!!
>
> Tanya
> Notts - England
>
>

[Cindy Senger]

Is it contagious in this ng or what? We're having the same problems with our
four-year-olds, though they seem to be tag-teaming. Ashlyn started with the
really "fresh" mouth a month or so ago (telling us "no" when we told her to do
something, telling us she wished she didn't have a mommy/daddy, deliberately
disobeying right after we told her not to do something, etc.) and it has
gradually gotten better over the past week or so-- after many trips to her room
to sit by herself and do nothing and removal of priveledges like tv, computer
time, playing outside. But, Allyson has been driving me nuts the past few days
with the same sort of behaviors, so here we go again. She pushed me today
until she lost all of her tv time-- which meant no peace and quiet for me and
an hour of her crying. Maybe it made an impression or at least I can hope. We
have the new baby thing going on and I think that might be part of it. They
start preschool next week which I think will help-- might curtail some boredom
which I think may be part of the problem also. Anyway, I'm not much help, but
you're really not alone!

-Cindy (mom to Ashlyn and Allyson 6/99 and Jenna 6/03)

>... but we are
>definitely going through a challenging time of not wanting to listen or
>cooperate *at home* while perfect or near-perfect everywhere else. No
>suggestions, we are floundering too, but wanted to LYK you are not alone.
>
>--Janet
>Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
>and Holly (4/4/01)

[Shirley M...have a goodaa \\;-\)]

Right before the two went to school the bad behavior escalated to the top,
totally out of control no matter what we did, lots and I mean lots of
fighting between the two. Lots of button pushing for the parents too. We
tried to make sure they went out daily, swimming, park, etc, but starting
school has certainly helped a bit. Although the book by Eng and Ames says 8
year olds don't get along with siblings (oh boy am I in trouble), no matter
if older or younger and it's their final push before they become introverted
and pulling away from parents and family at 9. It's also a point in time
they need mom totally and inhale her - again before they go away but I can
tell you it's like a dog I used to own, always, and I mean always underfoot,
always fighting for attention and louder and more articulate than 4. Good
luck all of you.

Shirley
Chris and Kathleen 1/95

"Cindy Senger" > wrote in message
...
> Is it contagious in this ng or what? We're having the same problems with
our
> four-year-olds, though they seem to be tag-teaming. Ashlyn started with
the
> really "fresh" mouth a month or so ago (telling us "no" when we told her
to do
> something, telling us she wished she didn't have a mommy/daddy,
deliberately
> disobeying right after we told her not to do something, etc.) and it has
> gradually gotten better over the past week or so-- after many trips to her
room
> to sit by herself and do nothing and removal of priveledges like tv,
computer
> time, playing outside. But, Allyson has been driving me nuts the past few
days
> with the same sort of behaviors, so here we go again. She pushed me today
> until she lost all of her tv time-- which meant no peace and quiet for me
and
> an hour of her crying. Maybe it made an impression or at least I can
hope. We
> have the new baby thing going on and I think that might be part of it.
They
> start preschool next week which I think will help-- might curtail some
boredom
> which I think may be part of the problem also. Anyway, I'm not much help,
but
> you're really not alone!
>
> -Cindy (mom to Ashlyn and Allyson 6/99 and Jenna 6/03)
>
> >... but we are
> >definitely going through a challenging time of not wanting to listen or
> >cooperate *at home* while perfect or near-perfect everywhere else. No
> >suggestions, we are floundering too, but wanted to LYK you are not alone.
> >
> >--Janet
> >Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
> >and Holly (4/4/01)
>
>
>