A bit of a vent :-)

[The Huwe Family]

Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the
extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when it
comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I mean
.. . .

Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to
try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby
shower. We practically could not move through the store because every time
we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That was
annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a
stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
"Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby
here, would you be asking me these questions?"

My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets.
I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people they
are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by some
complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in
stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go
shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course he
is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as understanding
as he normally would have been. Ha Ha)

Gayle

[Nikolette]

My sympathies here too! My Dad once suggested having a T-shirt made with
all the answers to the stupid and sometimes rude questions people ask: Yes
they're twins, (or triplets), Yes they're a handful, No you couldn't do
that, Yes we're tired, They're being fed so don't worry about how, They're
here so don't worry about how, Yes they're double trouble, Yes they're
double blessings, etc . . . I can laugh about it now but I remember how
frustrating Walmart trips were . . . :)

Nik

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the
> extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when
it
> comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I
mean
> . . .
>
> Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to
> try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby
> shower. We practically could not move through the store because every
time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That
was
> annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a
> stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and
frankly,
> none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> "Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby
> here, would you be asking me these questions?"
>
> My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets.
> I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people
they
> are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by
some
> complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in
> stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go
> shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course
he
> is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as
understanding
> as he normally would have been. Ha Ha)
>
> Gayle
>
>

[Nikolette]

My sympathies here too! My Dad once suggested having a T-shirt made with
all the answers to the stupid and sometimes rude questions people ask: Yes
they're twins, (or triplets), Yes they're a handful, No you couldn't do
that, Yes we're tired, They're being fed so don't worry about how, They're
here so don't worry about how, Yes they're double trouble, Yes they're
double blessings, etc . . . I can laugh about it now but I remember how
frustrating Walmart trips were . . . :)

Nik

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the
> extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when
it
> comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I
mean
> . . .
>
> Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to
> try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby
> shower. We practically could not move through the store because every
time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That
was
> annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a
> stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and
frankly,
> none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> "Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby
> here, would you be asking me these questions?"
>
> My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets.
> I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people
they
> are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by
some
> complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in
> stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go
> shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course
he
> is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as
understanding
> as he normally would have been. Ha Ha)
>
> Gayle
>
>

[H Schinske]

Gayle ) wrote:

>But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
>none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
>"Are you breastfeeding?"

Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite comments
have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store who
asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said, "They
twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."

--Helen

[H Schinske]

Gayle ) wrote:

>But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
>none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
>"Are you breastfeeding?"

Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite comments
have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store who
asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said, "They
twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."

--Helen

[The Huwe Family]

I haven't heard those ones yet. BTW Did you tell the teenager that you've
never seen two ****s alike anyway? And that you are blessed that they don't
look like ****.

Gayle
"H Schinske" > wrote in message
...
> Gayle ) wrote:
>
> >But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
> >none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> >"Are you breastfeeding?"
>
> Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite
comments
> have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store who
> asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said, "They
> twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."
>
> --Helen

[The Huwe Family]

I haven't heard those ones yet. BTW Did you tell the teenager that you've
never seen two ****s alike anyway? And that you are blessed that they don't
look like ****.

Gayle
"H Schinske" > wrote in message
...
> Gayle ) wrote:
>
> >But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
> >none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> >"Are you breastfeeding?"
>
> Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite
comments
> have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store who
> asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said, "They
> twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."
>
> --Helen

[Twinzmommie]

I was not prepared for the three ring circus I created whereever I went with my
twins, I can only imagine how much more of a spectacle it is with triplets.

I got to the point where I seriously thought about printing out a stack of
copies with the intrusive and ridiculous comments including answers and just
quietly handing them to people when they approached.

One thing that used to REALLY bother me was when people commented on the size
differerence between Riley and James. For most of the infant period Riley was
about 2-3 lbs bigger then James, yet she was 1lb smaller at birth. I would
hear things like, "WOW she is SO much bigger then him! She MUST have been born
first!" What is the logic there? Why do people assume that the larger baby is
the first one out? I became so annoyed by it on one or two occasions that I
snapped back, "Yes, she is bigger then him and if she still is when they are
about 14, I hope people will not make such an issue about it then!"

Anyhow, the good news is, as they get older it is not so obvious anymore and
the circus dies down quite a bit. At least that is the case for us! Thank
God!
Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[Twinzmommie]

I was not prepared for the three ring circus I created whereever I went with my
twins, I can only imagine how much more of a spectacle it is with triplets.

I got to the point where I seriously thought about printing out a stack of
copies with the intrusive and ridiculous comments including answers and just
quietly handing them to people when they approached.

One thing that used to REALLY bother me was when people commented on the size
differerence between Riley and James. For most of the infant period Riley was
about 2-3 lbs bigger then James, yet she was 1lb smaller at birth. I would
hear things like, "WOW she is SO much bigger then him! She MUST have been born
first!" What is the logic there? Why do people assume that the larger baby is
the first one out? I became so annoyed by it on one or two occasions that I
snapped back, "Yes, she is bigger then him and if she still is when they are
about 14, I hope people will not make such an issue about it then!"

Anyhow, the good news is, as they get older it is not so obvious anymore and
the circus dies down quite a bit. At least that is the case for us! Thank
God!
Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[KimandJuan]

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!! OMG I really needed a good laugh. Thanks Helen. I thought I
had heard them all.


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[KimandJuan]

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!! OMG I really needed a good laugh. Thanks Helen. I thought I
had heard them all.


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[DeliciousTruffles]

At first, I obliged the strangers, but it soon became ridiculous. Now,
I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't catch your
attention, they won't stop you.

If you are stopped and they come up to you, just say, "Sorry I can't
answer your questions, I'm pressed for time." Or something to that
effect. My dh gives an extremely short answer and moves away, even if
he has to come back.

As to the personal questions, just answer with a question, "MY! That's
extremely personal! Why would you ask a complete stranger such a
thing?" and move on.

You are under NO obligation to answer all or any of their questions.
You're under no obligation to say anything. You might come off as rude,
but frankly, you just won't have the time to be super polite.

Another thing to be wary of is that strangers will want to touch them.
I'm just warning you on this one.

I found the easiest solution was either I went out alone or my dh did.

Sadly, you will garner even more attention that us parents of twins, and
we get a lot. LOL! I hope you develop your thick skin quickly. ;-)

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[DeliciousTruffles]

At first, I obliged the strangers, but it soon became ridiculous. Now,
I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't catch your
attention, they won't stop you.

If you are stopped and they come up to you, just say, "Sorry I can't
answer your questions, I'm pressed for time." Or something to that
effect. My dh gives an extremely short answer and moves away, even if
he has to come back.

As to the personal questions, just answer with a question, "MY! That's
extremely personal! Why would you ask a complete stranger such a
thing?" and move on.

You are under NO obligation to answer all or any of their questions.
You're under no obligation to say anything. You might come off as rude,
but frankly, you just won't have the time to be super polite.

Another thing to be wary of is that strangers will want to touch them.
I'm just warning you on this one.

I found the easiest solution was either I went out alone or my dh did.

Sadly, you will garner even more attention that us parents of twins, and
we get a lot. LOL! I hope you develop your thick skin quickly. ;-)

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[Andrea]

Oh yes, I remember those days. Although I'm sure it's about 300 times worse
for you with triplets. It took forever for us to go anywhere because of all
the spectators. Try not to make eye contact. That may help a little, but then
there are always the people who are going to come up to you no matter what. It
will probably get better when they are past the infant stage, at least it did
for us.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3 yrs. old

[Andrea]

Oh yes, I remember those days. Although I'm sure it's about 300 times worse
for you with triplets. It took forever for us to go anywhere because of all
the spectators. Try not to make eye contact. That may help a little, but then
there are always the people who are going to come up to you no matter what. It
will probably get better when they are past the infant stage, at least it did
for us.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3 yrs. old

[David desJardins]

I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
combination of all three.

I'm not surprised that triplets get a lot of attention, though.

David desJardins

[David desJardins]

I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
combination of all three.

I'm not surprised that triplets get a lot of attention, though.

David desJardins

[Rhiann1048]

>Subject: Re: A bit of a vent :-)
>From: David desJardins
>Date: Thu, Oct 23, 2003 5:05 PM
>Message-id: >
>
>I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
>people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
>a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
>combination of all three.

When I lived in Sunnyvale, I worked in Palo Alto as a nanny for two families.
They each had one child that were 6 months apart in age. I took them out
almost daily for a walk and I got comments all the time asking if they were
twins and saying 'double trouble' and all that. These people didn't block our
path and drill me with questions for 5 minutes. But I did get quite a lot of
comments.

Are you saying people completely ignored you? Or you just didn't get asked
several intrusive questions?

Lori

[Rhiann1048]

>Subject: Re: A bit of a vent :-)
>From: David desJardins
>Date: Thu, Oct 23, 2003 5:05 PM
>Message-id: >
>
>I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
>people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
>a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
>combination of all three.

When I lived in Sunnyvale, I worked in Palo Alto as a nanny for two families.
They each had one child that were 6 months apart in age. I took them out
almost daily for a walk and I got comments all the time asking if they were
twins and saying 'double trouble' and all that. These people didn't block our
path and drill me with questions for 5 minutes. But I did get quite a lot of
comments.

Are you saying people completely ignored you? Or you just didn't get asked
several intrusive questions?

Lori

[David desJardins]

Lori writes:
> When I lived in Sunnyvale, I worked in Palo Alto as a nanny for two
> families. They each had one child that were 6 months apart in age. I
> took them out almost daily for a walk and I got comments all the time
> asking if they were twins and saying 'double trouble' and all that.
> These people didn't block our path and drill me with questions for 5
> minutes. But I did get quite a lot of comments.
>
> Are you saying people completely ignored you? Or you just didn't get
> asked several intrusive questions?

Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they
say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's
always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive
questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced,
by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't
recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from
people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids
(usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)---
but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything,
and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins.

David desJardins

[David desJardins]

Lori writes:
> When I lived in Sunnyvale, I worked in Palo Alto as a nanny for two
> families. They each had one child that were 6 months apart in age. I
> took them out almost daily for a walk and I got comments all the time
> asking if they were twins and saying 'double trouble' and all that.
> These people didn't block our path and drill me with questions for 5
> minutes. But I did get quite a lot of comments.
>
> Are you saying people completely ignored you? Or you just didn't get
> asked several intrusive questions?

Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they
say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's
always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive
questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced,
by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't
recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from
people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids
(usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)---
but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything,
and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins.

David desJardins

[DeliciousTruffles]

David desJardins wrote:

> Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they
> say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's
> always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive
> questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced,
> by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't
> recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from
> people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids
> (usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)---
> but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything,
> and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins.

How about your dw? I've noticed that my dh doesn't get bothered by
people as much as I do. As a result, when the whole family goes out
shopping, I tend to let him take the twins while I fill up another
grocery cart on my own.

Then again, I've always had strangers approach me for directions, and
things like that. :-)

I've also noticed that I was approached less in the larger cities than
in the smaller towns.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[DeliciousTruffles]

David desJardins wrote:

> Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they
> say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's
> always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive
> questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced,
> by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't
> recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from
> people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids
> (usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)---
> but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything,
> and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins.

How about your dw? I've noticed that my dh doesn't get bothered by
people as much as I do. As a result, when the whole family goes out
shopping, I tend to let him take the twins while I fill up another
grocery cart on my own.

Then again, I've always had strangers approach me for directions, and
things like that. :-)

I've also noticed that I was approached less in the larger cities than
in the smaller towns.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[Taniwha grrrl]

"DeliciousTruffles" >
wrote in message

Now,
> I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't
catch your
> attention, they won't stop you.

That's always been my tactic, avoid eye contact at all
costs...lol


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Taniwha grrrl]

"DeliciousTruffles" >
wrote in message

Now,
> I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't
catch your
> attention, they won't stop you.

That's always been my tactic, avoid eye contact at all
costs...lol


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Taniwha grrrl]

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message

We practically could not move through the store because
every time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our
babies.

They younger they are the more it happens, multiple babies
attract the comments and looks, it's not so bad as they get
older (for fraternal anyway) as they just look like close
siblings and you don't get stopped as much.
It's mighty frustrating though, you'll develop a tactic,
selective deafness or impaired sight is usually the best way
;-)


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Taniwha grrrl]

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message

We practically could not move through the store because
every time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our
babies.

They younger they are the more it happens, multiple babies
attract the comments and looks, it's not so bad as they get
older (for fraternal anyway) as they just look like close
siblings and you don't get stopped as much.
It's mighty frustrating though, you'll develop a tactic,
selective deafness or impaired sight is usually the best way
;-)


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Megan Byrne]

Gayle,
Welcome to the freak show called "having multiples". Although, I only
have twins, I still get stopped all the time.

A friendly word of advice...kepp those babies home!! Especially, since
they are preemies, I wouldn't be bringing them out so soon. Will they be
getting the RSV vaccine? I am not telling you what to do, really. Just a
little more experience.


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[Megan Byrne]

Gayle,
Welcome to the freak show called "having multiples". Although, I only
have twins, I still get stopped all the time.

A friendly word of advice...kepp those babies home!! Especially, since
they are preemies, I wouldn't be bringing them out so soon. Will they be
getting the RSV vaccine? I am not telling you what to do, really. Just a
little more experience.


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[multimom4]

I can't tell if they were in a triple stroller or in car seats in a cart or
what ... but divide and conquer is the only way to solve this if you can't
stand it.

I think it is likely, as Brigitte said, that men would get fewer comments,
at least it's worth a try.

As others stated, avoid eye contact. I also perfected a
firm-smile-and-look-away tactic that worked well when I was in a hurry.

Personally, the "personal" questions didn't bother me. I didn't get too
many "poor you" comments, so that was OK. But on the IVF stuff -- I used to
say "Yup, IVF and born by C-section. Nothing the tiniest bit "natural"
about these kids". With a big grin that clearly indicated "They're human
beings you moron, how could they be any more "natural" or "unnatural" than
any other kids?"

On the "are they twins?" question ... dh came up with "yes, three pairs of
twins, these two, these two and these two".

On that and on "are they identical" I was always very polite -- just used to
say "no, even the boys are fraternal and one looks like me and one looks
like his father, not at all identical". I never felt the need to point out
the anatomical details of B v G to separate Hanna out.

It is a simple fact that *tiny* babies get the most attention, which is
*precisely* of course the time when you are least prepared, most tired and
least likely to enjoy or tolerate it. For triplets, as opposed to twins, I
think the attention will continue fairly unabated until you get rid of the
triplet stroller (for us that was almost exactly age three). At that point
they will look more like siblings -- unless you dress them all perfectly
coordinated, of course. Til then you will have to work around it (two
strollers; two strollers plus front/back - pack; shop alone; two carts;
ignore everyone; carry a sign saying "shut up") or just bear it.

One excellent piece of advice which I never had the
nerve/time/organization/materials to apply: attach a sign or two or ten to
the stroller saying "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH". These first TWO winters
especially, you either need to stay home (my solution) or do *something* to
keep the germs away. This year the germs could kill them; next year the
sicknesses could kill you from over-work.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)




"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the
> extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when
it
> comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I
mean
> . . .
>
> Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to
> try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby
> shower. We practically could not move through the store because every
time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That
was
> annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a
> stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and
frankly,
> none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> "Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby
> here, would you be asking me these questions?"
>
> My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets.
> I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people
they
> are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by
some
> complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in
> stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go
> shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course
he
> is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as
understanding
> as he normally would have been. Ha Ha)
>
> Gayle
>
>

[multimom4]

I can't tell if they were in a triple stroller or in car seats in a cart or
what ... but divide and conquer is the only way to solve this if you can't
stand it.

I think it is likely, as Brigitte said, that men would get fewer comments,
at least it's worth a try.

As others stated, avoid eye contact. I also perfected a
firm-smile-and-look-away tactic that worked well when I was in a hurry.

Personally, the "personal" questions didn't bother me. I didn't get too
many "poor you" comments, so that was OK. But on the IVF stuff -- I used to
say "Yup, IVF and born by C-section. Nothing the tiniest bit "natural"
about these kids". With a big grin that clearly indicated "They're human
beings you moron, how could they be any more "natural" or "unnatural" than
any other kids?"

On the "are they twins?" question ... dh came up with "yes, three pairs of
twins, these two, these two and these two".

On that and on "are they identical" I was always very polite -- just used to
say "no, even the boys are fraternal and one looks like me and one looks
like his father, not at all identical". I never felt the need to point out
the anatomical details of B v G to separate Hanna out.

It is a simple fact that *tiny* babies get the most attention, which is
*precisely* of course the time when you are least prepared, most tired and
least likely to enjoy or tolerate it. For triplets, as opposed to twins, I
think the attention will continue fairly unabated until you get rid of the
triplet stroller (for us that was almost exactly age three). At that point
they will look more like siblings -- unless you dress them all perfectly
coordinated, of course. Til then you will have to work around it (two
strollers; two strollers plus front/back - pack; shop alone; two carts;
ignore everyone; carry a sign saying "shut up") or just bear it.

One excellent piece of advice which I never had the
nerve/time/organization/materials to apply: attach a sign or two or ten to
the stroller saying "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH". These first TWO winters
especially, you either need to stay home (my solution) or do *something* to
keep the germs away. This year the germs could kill them; next year the
sicknesses could kill you from over-work.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)




"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the
> extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when
it
> comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I
mean
> . . .
>
> Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to
> try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby
> shower. We practically could not move through the store because every
time
> we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That
was
> annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a
> stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and
frankly,
> none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to
> "Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby
> here, would you be asking me these questions?"
>
> My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets.
> I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people
they
> are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by
some
> complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in
> stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go
> shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course
he
> is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as
understanding
> as he normally would have been. Ha Ha)
>
> Gayle
>
>

[Twinzmommie]

<< Don't
recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>

Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become parents
of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the case
with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or Did you
use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that our
backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we were
asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get
around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable to
reach that goal without help.

As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your status as a
parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you differently.

I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and that to
me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness included
touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close where
they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them to
sleep.

Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at all, but
to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?


Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[Twinzmommie]

<< Don't
recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>

Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become parents
of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the case
with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or Did you
use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that our
backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we were
asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get
around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable to
reach that goal without help.

As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your status as a
parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you differently.

I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and that to
me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness included
touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close where
they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them to
sleep.

Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at all, but
to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?


Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[David desJardins]

Michelle writes:
> Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have
> become parents of multiples through infertility methods. I am not
> sure if that is the case with you. However, questions like, "Do twins
> run in your family?, or Did you use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike
> a nerve. It may possibly be that our backs are already up because
> before we were blessed with our children we were asked continually
> "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get around to
> starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
> a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are
> unable to reach that goal without help.

I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
"Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"

But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
perfectly straightforward answer. If it were a total stranger asking,
then I doubt I would answer, because it's none of their business. But
that doesn't make the question hurtful to me, just nosy. Like if a
random stranger asked me how much money I have in the bank (hmm, come to
think of it, telemarketers do call up and ask this).

I know there are (many) people who are very sensitive about fertility
issues. I can imagine how your sensitivity to those issues might make
you more sensitive in general to strangers who are curious about your
twins. I certainly don't mean to criticize you in any way for being
annoyed when people ask you questions you don't like. There are all
sorts of things that people do that annoy me, just not this one.

> I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
> that to me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their
> friendliness included touching my babies on the hands or the face or
> trying to get too close where they ended up waking one of both of them
> up after I had just gotten them to sleep.

I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
people, but not to me? Or am I just interpreting the same events
differently, or overlooking things that would bother someone else? I'm
not sure.

David desJardins

[David desJardins]

Michelle writes:
> Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have
> become parents of multiples through infertility methods. I am not
> sure if that is the case with you. However, questions like, "Do twins
> run in your family?, or Did you use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike
> a nerve. It may possibly be that our backs are already up because
> before we were blessed with our children we were asked continually
> "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get around to
> starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
> a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are
> unable to reach that goal without help.

I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
"Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"

But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
perfectly straightforward answer. If it were a total stranger asking,
then I doubt I would answer, because it's none of their business. But
that doesn't make the question hurtful to me, just nosy. Like if a
random stranger asked me how much money I have in the bank (hmm, come to
think of it, telemarketers do call up and ask this).

I know there are (many) people who are very sensitive about fertility
issues. I can imagine how your sensitivity to those issues might make
you more sensitive in general to strangers who are curious about your
twins. I certainly don't mean to criticize you in any way for being
annoyed when people ask you questions you don't like. There are all
sorts of things that people do that annoy me, just not this one.

> I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
> that to me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their
> friendliness included touching my babies on the hands or the face or
> trying to get too close where they ended up waking one of both of them
> up after I had just gotten them to sleep.

I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
people, but not to me? Or am I just interpreting the same events
differently, or overlooking things that would bother someone else? I'm
not sure.

David desJardins

[Julie Seely]

David --

I got the fertility drug question many times, more often than not from
complete strangers. Sometimes it was asked bluntly and directly, but my
least favorite version was a woman who approached me on a ferry, and
asked, in a sickeningly sweet voice "Did you have to wait a *very* long
time for these *very* special babies?" I think I just mumbled something
about them being an unexpected surprise, but later I wished I'd thought
to say "No, actually they were born a month early."

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97, and great-great-great-grandaughter of a mom
to two sets of twins

David desJardins wrote:
>
> Michelle writes:
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have
> > become parents of multiples through infertility methods. I am not
> > sure if that is the case with you. However, questions like, "Do twins
> > run in your family?, or Did you use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike
> > a nerve. It may possibly be that our backs are already up because
> > before we were blessed with our children we were asked continually
> > "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get around to
> > starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are
> > unable to reach that goal without help.
>
> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"
>
> But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
> "Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
> would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
> perfectly straightforward answer. If it were a total stranger asking,
> then I doubt I would answer, because it's none of their business. But
> that doesn't make the question hurtful to me, just nosy. Like if a
> random stranger asked me how much money I have in the bank (hmm, come to
> think of it, telemarketers do call up and ask this).
>
> I know there are (many) people who are very sensitive about fertility
> issues. I can imagine how your sensitivity to those issues might make
> you more sensitive in general to strangers who are curious about your
> twins. I certainly don't mean to criticize you in any way for being
> annoyed when people ask you questions you don't like. There are all
> sorts of things that people do that annoy me, just not this one.
>
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
> > that to me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their
> > friendliness included touching my babies on the hands or the face or
> > trying to get too close where they ended up waking one of both of them
> > up after I had just gotten them to sleep.
>
> I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
> what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
> people, but not to me? Or am I just interpreting the same events
> differently, or overlooking things that would bother someone else? I'm
> not sure.
>
> David desJardins

[Julie Seely]

David --

I got the fertility drug question many times, more often than not from
complete strangers. Sometimes it was asked bluntly and directly, but my
least favorite version was a woman who approached me on a ferry, and
asked, in a sickeningly sweet voice "Did you have to wait a *very* long
time for these *very* special babies?" I think I just mumbled something
about them being an unexpected surprise, but later I wished I'd thought
to say "No, actually they were born a month early."

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97, and great-great-great-grandaughter of a mom
to two sets of twins

David desJardins wrote:
>
> Michelle writes:
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have
> > become parents of multiples through infertility methods. I am not
> > sure if that is the case with you. However, questions like, "Do twins
> > run in your family?, or Did you use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike
> > a nerve. It may possibly be that our backs are already up because
> > before we were blessed with our children we were asked continually
> > "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get around to
> > starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are
> > unable to reach that goal without help.
>
> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"
>
> But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
> "Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
> would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
> perfectly straightforward answer. If it were a total stranger asking,
> then I doubt I would answer, because it's none of their business. But
> that doesn't make the question hurtful to me, just nosy. Like if a
> random stranger asked me how much money I have in the bank (hmm, come to
> think of it, telemarketers do call up and ask this).
>
> I know there are (many) people who are very sensitive about fertility
> issues. I can imagine how your sensitivity to those issues might make
> you more sensitive in general to strangers who are curious about your
> twins. I certainly don't mean to criticize you in any way for being
> annoyed when people ask you questions you don't like. There are all
> sorts of things that people do that annoy me, just not this one.
>
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
> > that to me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their
> > friendliness included touching my babies on the hands or the face or
> > trying to get too close where they ended up waking one of both of them
> > up after I had just gotten them to sleep.
>
> I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
> what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
> people, but not to me? Or am I just interpreting the same events
> differently, or overlooking things that would bother someone else? I'm
> not sure.
>
> David desJardins

[DeliciousTruffles]

David desJardins wrote:
>
> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"

I've had all three questions but the last question was never from
strangers. The last question was from acquaintances.

That type of question always seemed to come at the worst possible time:
just after a failed cycle. It doesn't just sting, it hurts like a son
of a bitch. The emotional pain of IF is heart-wrenching and when an
almost-stranger starts asking questions, you feel like ****.

Just thought I would shed a bit more light on why some of the questions
irritate so much after you successfully have a child after IF.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[DeliciousTruffles]

David desJardins wrote:
>
> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"

I've had all three questions but the last question was never from
strangers. The last question was from acquaintances.

That type of question always seemed to come at the worst possible time:
just after a failed cycle. It doesn't just sting, it hurts like a son
of a bitch. The emotional pain of IF is heart-wrenching and when an
almost-stranger starts asking questions, you feel like ****.

Just thought I would shed a bit more light on why some of the questions
irritate so much after you successfully have a child after IF.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[Twinzmommie]

<< I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." >><BR><BR>

Well.....since you asked.....It stings because by responding the way you
suggest 9 times out of 10 leads to unsolicited advice such as, "Maybe you are
trying to hard! or, You probably just need to take a vacation and relax!"

Comments like those are just two examples of the sort of things I heard on a
pretty regular basis during the 3 + years I was in the trying to conceive phase
of my life. And yes, sometimes from strangers.

By that I do not mean perfect strangers would come up to me on the street and
ask why I was childless. But, I have had ssituations where casual conversation
on cruise ships or, DR's waiting rooms and even waiting for the Walt Disney
World bus started out as harmless friendly chitchat and led to unsolicited
advice on how I could achieve my dream of motherhood. One moment someone is
asking you if you are married and how long, the next they are asking if you
have regular menstrual cycles.

<< I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
people, but not to me? >><BR><BR>

Perhaps it is because you are a man. I will admit that most of the intrusions
I have mentioned have come from other women. As far as I know, my DH has never
had a total stranger ask him about his fertility status. It has been my
experience as a female that women (in general) tend to be nosier then men and
also seem to find some enjoyment in making one another feel inadequate. That
is often the case right hear on these newsgroups.

Hope that sheds some light on the matter. However, it is only MY opinion. I
can't speak for everyone.
Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[Twinzmommie]

<< I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." >><BR><BR>

Well.....since you asked.....It stings because by responding the way you
suggest 9 times out of 10 leads to unsolicited advice such as, "Maybe you are
trying to hard! or, You probably just need to take a vacation and relax!"

Comments like those are just two examples of the sort of things I heard on a
pretty regular basis during the 3 + years I was in the trying to conceive phase
of my life. And yes, sometimes from strangers.

By that I do not mean perfect strangers would come up to me on the street and
ask why I was childless. But, I have had ssituations where casual conversation
on cruise ships or, DR's waiting rooms and even waiting for the Walt Disney
World bus started out as harmless friendly chitchat and led to unsolicited
advice on how I could achieve my dream of motherhood. One moment someone is
asking you if you are married and how long, the next they are asking if you
have regular menstrual cycles.

<< I don't recall ever having this kind of problem. That's why I wonder
what the difference is: why does this sort of thing happen to other
people, but not to me? >><BR><BR>

Perhaps it is because you are a man. I will admit that most of the intrusions
I have mentioned have come from other women. As far as I know, my DH has never
had a total stranger ask him about his fertility status. It has been my
experience as a female that women (in general) tend to be nosier then men and
also seem to find some enjoyment in making one another feel inadequate. That
is often the case right hear on these newsgroups.

Hope that sheds some light on the matter. However, it is only MY opinion. I
can't speak for everyone.
Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[[email protected]]

On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 18:49:41 -0700, DeliciousTruffles
> wrote:

>David desJardins wrote:
>>
>> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
>> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
>> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
>> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
>> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"
>
>I've had all three questions but the last question was never from
>strangers. The last question was from acquaintances.

Oh yeah, count me in on those three as well.

The most ignorant comment came to my wife whilst shopping. An older
woman stopped my wife after the birth of our twins and asked her if it
was true. Not knowing what she meant, my wife asked her was what true.
"Well, did you use drugs?" Because she had, and she knew the woman in
a casual way, she replied that yes she had. "Well, I don't feel sorry
for you at all" was the reply. We're still not sure why anybody should
feel sorry for us.

>That type of question always seemed to come at the worst possible time:
>just after a failed cycle. It doesn't just sting, it hurts like a son
>of a bitch. The emotional pain of IF is heart-wrenching and when an
>almost-stranger starts asking questions, you feel like ****.

My wife always felt the results of a failed cycle more than I did.
It was "her" failure, and "she" was doing something wrong.
All I could do was say we'll try again next month. I felt pretty
useless for a while.
I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy.



tim

[[email protected]]

On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 18:49:41 -0700, DeliciousTruffles
> wrote:

>David desJardins wrote:
>>
>> I've had people ask, "Do twins run in your family?" I've always taken
>> this as ordinary curiosity. I don't think I've ever had a stranger ask,
>> "Did you use fertility drugs?" That would seem a bit inappropriate for
>> a total stranger. I would also be pretty surprised if a total stranger
>> asked, "Why don't you have kids yet?"
>
>I've had all three questions but the last question was never from
>strangers. The last question was from acquaintances.

Oh yeah, count me in on those three as well.

The most ignorant comment came to my wife whilst shopping. An older
woman stopped my wife after the birth of our twins and asked her if it
was true. Not knowing what she meant, my wife asked her was what true.
"Well, did you use drugs?" Because she had, and she knew the woman in
a casual way, she replied that yes she had. "Well, I don't feel sorry
for you at all" was the reply. We're still not sure why anybody should
feel sorry for us.

>That type of question always seemed to come at the worst possible time:
>just after a failed cycle. It doesn't just sting, it hurts like a son
>of a bitch. The emotional pain of IF is heart-wrenching and when an
>almost-stranger starts asking questions, you feel like ****.

My wife always felt the results of a failed cycle more than I did.
It was "her" failure, and "she" was doing something wrong.
All I could do was say we'll try again next month. I felt pretty
useless for a while.
I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy.



tim

[Paula Johnson]

On 25 Oct 2003 02:05:11 GMT, (Twinzmommie) wrote:

><< I also honestly don't understand why the question,
>"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
>would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." >><BR><BR>
>
>Well.....since you asked.....It stings because by responding the way you
>suggest 9 times out of 10 leads to unsolicited advice such as, "Maybe you are
>trying to hard! or, You probably just need to take a vacation and relax!"

LOL! "Have you tried standing on your head after sex? Worked for me!"
"I get pregnant just folding DH's underwear!" (Well, if you're going
to offer to let me fold your DH's underwear, don't bother ;-)

We tended to get a lot of questions about our child-bearing status
when people found out how long we were married: "What, married for 6
years and no kids yet?"

And I do think it's partly the difference between men and women. Those
types of questions and comments hurt me terribly but didn't bother my
DH (and he didn't get them as often, since men don't seem to spend as
much time discussing things like that).

Now, I look at the intrusive "did you use fertility drugs" question as
an opportunity to educate people that the stereotypical
infertile-because-she-put-her-career-before-children-and-waited-too-long
image isn't always (or even often) the case; I'm young enough that
people are surprised to hear that it took us 6.5 years to finally have
our miracles. It's also amazed me how many women have talked to me
about their own fertility troubles after hearing that my girls are IVF
babies. (My DH swears I'm a magnet for the
desperate-to-talk-to-someone infertile women of the world :-).

Now, personally I love the attention, but that's probably because my
girls have been sequestered for three months (first for being preemies
and now for cold and flu season), and I only get to leave the house
with them once or twice a month, to go to various doctors. I'll take
any excuse to talk to any adult about any subject! I'm sure that will
change next spring when I can take them everywhere and I'm trying to
get things done in that limited "happy baby" window.

--
Paula
Mom to Olivia and Cassie (b. 4/8/03)
^Grace^ (b. 5/16/02 d. 5/17/02) and ^Adam^ (b/d. 5/17/02)

[Paula Johnson]

On 25 Oct 2003 02:05:11 GMT, (Twinzmommie) wrote:

><< I also honestly don't understand why the question,
>"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
>would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." >><BR><BR>
>
>Well.....since you asked.....It stings because by responding the way you
>suggest 9 times out of 10 leads to unsolicited advice such as, "Maybe you are
>trying to hard! or, You probably just need to take a vacation and relax!"

LOL! "Have you tried standing on your head after sex? Worked for me!"
"I get pregnant just folding DH's underwear!" (Well, if you're going
to offer to let me fold your DH's underwear, don't bother ;-)

We tended to get a lot of questions about our child-bearing status
when people found out how long we were married: "What, married for 6
years and no kids yet?"

And I do think it's partly the difference between men and women. Those
types of questions and comments hurt me terribly but didn't bother my
DH (and he didn't get them as often, since men don't seem to spend as
much time discussing things like that).

Now, I look at the intrusive "did you use fertility drugs" question as
an opportunity to educate people that the stereotypical
infertile-because-she-put-her-career-before-children-and-waited-too-long
image isn't always (or even often) the case; I'm young enough that
people are surprised to hear that it took us 6.5 years to finally have
our miracles. It's also amazed me how many women have talked to me
about their own fertility troubles after hearing that my girls are IVF
babies. (My DH swears I'm a magnet for the
desperate-to-talk-to-someone infertile women of the world :-).

Now, personally I love the attention, but that's probably because my
girls have been sequestered for three months (first for being preemies
and now for cold and flu season), and I only get to leave the house
with them once or twice a month, to go to various doctors. I'll take
any excuse to talk to any adult about any subject! I'm sure that will
change next spring when I can take them everywhere and I'm trying to
get things done in that limited "happy baby" window.

--
Paula
Mom to Olivia and Cassie (b. 4/8/03)
^Grace^ (b. 5/16/02 d. 5/17/02) and ^Adam^ (b/d. 5/17/02)

[The Huwe Family]

Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most because
I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that it
is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to everyone"
and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"

Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
surprising to cause such a stir.

On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9 month
old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the food,
and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to see
everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).

Gayle

"Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
...
> << Don't
> recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
>
> Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
parents
> of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
case
> with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or Did
you
> use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
our
> backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
were
> asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get
> around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting
quite
> a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
to
> reach that goal without help.
>
> As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your status
as a
> parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
differently.
>
> I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and that
to
> me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
included
> touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
where
> they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
to
> sleep.
>
> Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
all, but
> to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
>
>
> Michelle
> Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
>

[The Huwe Family]

Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most because
I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that it
is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to everyone"
and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"

Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
surprising to cause such a stir.

On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9 month
old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the food,
and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to see
everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).

Gayle

"Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
...
> << Don't
> recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
>
> Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
parents
> of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
case
> with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or Did
you
> use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
our
> backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
were
> asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to get
> around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions sting
quite
> a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
to
> reach that goal without help.
>
> As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your status
as a
> parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
differently.
>
> I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and that
to
> me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
included
> touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
where
> they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
to
> sleep.
>
> Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
all, but
> to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
>
>
> Michelle
> Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
>

[Jack H.]

We started to put them in separate strollers and it has cut down the gawkers
by 75%.

some people don't even believe they are twins.
Keep the sense of humor though, you WILL need it!

Jack
"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> I haven't heard those ones yet. BTW Did you tell the teenager that
you've
> never seen two ****s alike anyway? And that you are blessed that they
don't
> look like ****.
>
> Gayle
> "H Schinske" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Gayle ) wrote:
> >
> > >But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
> > >none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?"
to
> > >"Are you breastfeeding?"
> >
> > Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite
> comments
> > have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store
who
> > asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said,
"They
> > twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."
> >
> > --Helen
>
>

[Jack H.]

We started to put them in separate strollers and it has cut down the gawkers
by 75%.

some people don't even believe they are twins.
Keep the sense of humor though, you WILL need it!

Jack
"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> I haven't heard those ones yet. BTW Did you tell the teenager that
you've
> never seen two ****s alike anyway? And that you are blessed that they
don't
> look like ****.
>
> Gayle
> "H Schinske" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Gayle ) wrote:
> >
> > >But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly,
> > >none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?"
to
> > >"Are you breastfeeding?"
> >
> > Yup. People do that. It gets funny after a while. So far my favorite
> comments
> > have been the ones from (a) the intense lady in the health food store
who
> > asked, "Do they have a psychic bond?" and (b) the teenager who said,
"They
> > twins? You ****tin' me! They don't look **** alike."
> >
> > --Helen
>
>

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
>twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
>you take fertility drugs?" or actually "did you do IVF" because
>the general public seems to be unaware of any fertility
>treatments OTHER than IVF.

I think probably some people are asking it for that reason, and some aren't,
and it is probably impossible to tell who's who. With older folks, say more
than 30 years older than I am, I tend to assume they really do want to know if
twins run in our family, since it's the kind of thing I've heard lots of
conversations about over the years. (Another question like this that I've
always taken as having two possible meanings is "Did you know you were having
twins?" Well, I don't think there are very many delivery table surprises any
longer! I've always answered that as "I found out at the ultrasound, it was
quite a surprise.")

The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
now!" :-)

Another way to handle it is to say "I think there are a few sets back there
somewhere," which is probably true of any family tree, after all.

--Helen

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
>twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
>you take fertility drugs?" or actually "did you do IVF" because
>the general public seems to be unaware of any fertility
>treatments OTHER than IVF.

I think probably some people are asking it for that reason, and some aren't,
and it is probably impossible to tell who's who. With older folks, say more
than 30 years older than I am, I tend to assume they really do want to know if
twins run in our family, since it's the kind of thing I've heard lots of
conversations about over the years. (Another question like this that I've
always taken as having two possible meanings is "Did you know you were having
twins?" Well, I don't think there are very many delivery table surprises any
longer! I've always answered that as "I found out at the ultrasound, it was
quite a surprise.")

The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
now!" :-)

Another way to handle it is to say "I think there are a few sets back there
somewhere," which is probably true of any family tree, after all.

--Helen

[shirley]

When we lived in Woodbury, MN (outside of St. Paul), there were 3 first
grades and 4 sets of twins! Each grade had at least one, and I can't tell
you how many adults were "twins" or twins visiting our store. I think they
must have thought about that when they called St. Paul/Minneapolis the
"twin" cities!

I do remember people asking us "when." but they got tired after 10 years of
marriage and would talk in hush, hush tones. At 25 years when I was
pregnant with the twins they looked at me like I had holes in my head! I
still get comments (though a lot less when we visit Chicago), about how
"old" my DH and I are for having almost 9 year old twins!

Shirley
mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
> to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most
because
> I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that
it
> is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
> have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
> tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to
everyone"
> and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
> though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
> question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
> respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"
>
> Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
> occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
> surprising to cause such a stir.
>
> On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the
food,
> and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
> She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to
see
> everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).
>
> Gayle
>
> "Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
> ...
> > << Don't
> > recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> > couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
> >
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
> parents
> > of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
> case
> > with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or
Did
> you
> > use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
> our
> > backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
> were
> > asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to
get
> > around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions
sting
> quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
> to
> > reach that goal without help.
> >
> > As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your
status
> as a
> > parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
> differently.
> >
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
that
> to
> > me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
> included
> > touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
> where
> > they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
> to
> > sleep.
> >
> > Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
> all, but
> > to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
> >
> >
> > Michelle
> > Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
> >
>
>

[shirley]

When we lived in Woodbury, MN (outside of St. Paul), there were 3 first
grades and 4 sets of twins! Each grade had at least one, and I can't tell
you how many adults were "twins" or twins visiting our store. I think they
must have thought about that when they called St. Paul/Minneapolis the
"twin" cities!

I do remember people asking us "when." but they got tired after 10 years of
marriage and would talk in hush, hush tones. At 25 years when I was
pregnant with the twins they looked at me like I had holes in my head! I
still get comments (though a lot less when we visit Chicago), about how
"old" my DH and I are for having almost 9 year old twins!

Shirley
mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
> to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most
because
> I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that
it
> is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
> have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
> tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to
everyone"
> and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
> though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
> question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
> respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"
>
> Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
> occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
> surprising to cause such a stir.
>
> On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the
food,
> and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
> She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to
see
> everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).
>
> Gayle
>
> "Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
> ...
> > << Don't
> > recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> > couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
> >
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
> parents
> > of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
> case
> > with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or
Did
> you
> > use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
> our
> > backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
> were
> > asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to
get
> > around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions
sting
> quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
> to
> > reach that goal without help.
> >
> > As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your
status
> as a
> > parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
> differently.
> >
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
that
> to
> > me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
> included
> > touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
> where
> > they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
> to
> > sleep.
> >
> > Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
> all, but
> > to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
> >
> >
> > Michelle
> > Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
> >
>
>

[shirley]

Who was it on the group who's DH replied to some lady re: drug infertility
therapy, "that after his wife took the cocaine and heroine she became
pregnant with the twins"! Of course the lady shut up and didn't know what
to say.

Shirley

"H Schinske" > wrote in message
...
> wrote:
>
> >It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
> >twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
> >you take fertility drugs?" or actually "did you do IVF" because
> >the general public seems to be unaware of any fertility
> >treatments OTHER than IVF.
>
> I think probably some people are asking it for that reason, and some
aren't,
> and it is probably impossible to tell who's who. With older folks, say
more
> than 30 years older than I am, I tend to assume they really do want to
know if
> twins run in our family, since it's the kind of thing I've heard lots of
> conversations about over the years. (Another question like this that I've
> always taken as having two possible meanings is "Did you know you were
having
> twins?" Well, I don't think there are very many delivery table surprises
any
> longer! I've always answered that as "I found out at the ultrasound, it
was
> quite a surprise.")
>
> The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is
"They do
> now!" :-)
>
> Another way to handle it is to say "I think there are a few sets back
there
> somewhere," which is probably true of any family tree, after all.
>
> --Helen

[shirley]

Who was it on the group who's DH replied to some lady re: drug infertility
therapy, "that after his wife took the cocaine and heroine she became
pregnant with the twins"! Of course the lady shut up and didn't know what
to say.

Shirley

"H Schinske" > wrote in message
...
> wrote:
>
> >It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
> >twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
> >you take fertility drugs?" or actually "did you do IVF" because
> >the general public seems to be unaware of any fertility
> >treatments OTHER than IVF.
>
> I think probably some people are asking it for that reason, and some
aren't,
> and it is probably impossible to tell who's who. With older folks, say
more
> than 30 years older than I am, I tend to assume they really do want to
know if
> twins run in our family, since it's the kind of thing I've heard lots of
> conversations about over the years. (Another question like this that I've
> always taken as having two possible meanings is "Did you know you were
having
> twins?" Well, I don't think there are very many delivery table surprises
any
> longer! I've always answered that as "I found out at the ultrasound, it
was
> quite a surprise.")
>
> The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is
"They do
> now!" :-)
>
> Another way to handle it is to say "I think there are a few sets back
there
> somewhere," which is probably true of any family tree, after all.
>
> --Helen

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>When we lived in Woodbury, MN (outside of St. Paul), there were 3 first
>grades and 4 sets of twins!

My son's kindergarten has two sets of twins in it. It is a rather large class,
though. (There is only one all-day kindergarten and one half-day at this
school, so unless you wanted your twins on different schedules, you couldn't
split them up even if you wanted to.)

They're both boy/girl twins, so no mix-up issues.

--Helen

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>When we lived in Woodbury, MN (outside of St. Paul), there were 3 first
>grades and 4 sets of twins!

My son's kindergarten has two sets of twins in it. It is a rather large class,
though. (There is only one all-day kindergarten and one half-day at this
school, so unless you wanted your twins on different schedules, you couldn't
split them up even if you wanted to.)

They're both boy/girl twins, so no mix-up issues.

--Helen

[KimandJuan]

>The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
>triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9 month
>old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.

WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least until
the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch them
and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with people
wanting to touch?


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[KimandJuan]

>The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
>triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9 month
>old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.

WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least until
the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch them
and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with people
wanting to touch?


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[multimom4]

I went out to the food court at a local mall with a friend whose triplets
are only 3.5 months younger. So we had 6 two year olds in two triplet
strollers. Her dh was there, mine wasn't. When she and I were away from
the tables, someone asked him if all 6 were his, so he said "yes, but with
two different wives".

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
> to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most
because
> I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that
it
> is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
> have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
> tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to
everyone"
> and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
> though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
> question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
> respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"
>
> Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
> occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
> surprising to cause such a stir.
>
> On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the
food,
> and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
> She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to
see
> everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).
>
> Gayle
>
> "Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
> ...
> > << Don't
> > recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> > couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
> >
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
> parents
> > of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
> case
> > with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or
Did
> you
> > use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
> our
> > backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
> were
> > asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to
get
> > around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions
sting
> quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
> to
> > reach that goal without help.
> >
> > As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your
status
> as a
> > parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
> differently.
> >
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
that
> to
> > me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
> included
> > touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
> where
> > they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
> to
> > sleep.
> >
> > Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
> all, but
> > to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
> >
> >
> > Michelle
> > Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
> >
>
>

[multimom4]

I went out to the food court at a local mall with a friend whose triplets
are only 3.5 months younger. So we had 6 two year olds in two triplet
strollers. Her dh was there, mine wasn't. When she and I were away from
the tables, someone asked him if all 6 were his, so he said "yes, but with
two different wives".

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
> to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most
because
> I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that
it
> is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
> have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
> tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to
everyone"
> and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
> though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
> question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
> respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"
>
> Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
> occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
> surprising to cause such a stir.
>
> On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the
food,
> and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
> She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to
see
> everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).
>
> Gayle
>
> "Twinzmommie" > wrote in message
> ...
> > << Don't
> > recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
> > couple that I just shrugged off. >><BR><BR>
> >
> > Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
> parents
> > of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
> case
> > with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or
Did
> you
> > use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
> our
> > backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
> were
> > asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to
get
> > around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions
sting
> quite
> > a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
> to
> > reach that goal without help.
> >
> > As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your
status
> as a
> > parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
> differently.
> >
> > I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
that
> to
> > me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
> included
> > touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
> where
> > they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
> to
> > sleep.
> >
> > Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
> all, but
> > to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?
> >
> >
> > Michelle
> > Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael
> >
>
>

[DeliciousTruffles]

H Schinske wrote:

> The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
> now!" :-)

I just say "No." LOL! :-D

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[DeliciousTruffles]

H Schinske wrote:

> The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
> now!" :-)

I just say "No." LOL! :-D

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

[David desJardins]

Jen in South Florida writes:
>> But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
>> "Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
>> would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
>> perfectly straightforward answer.
>
> I don't want this to come off as rude, but if you don't understand why
> it would sting, that tells me that you didn't travel the IF road to
> have your twins. Especially as it happens over and over again in face
> of failed cycle after failed cycle.

I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. This
isn't rocket science.

I guess the answer is just that this is something that some people are
sensitive about, and others aren't, and that's that. There are probably
also things that I'm sensitive about, but you wouldn't be.

Someone else asked if my wife is more bothered by intrusive questions of
various sorts. The answer is no, not at all: she loves to chat, and
would gladly talk about any of these things with a total stranger, I
think.

David desJardins

[David desJardins]

Jen in South Florida writes:
>> But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
>> "Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
>> would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
>> perfectly straightforward answer.
>
> I don't want this to come off as rude, but if you don't understand why
> it would sting, that tells me that you didn't travel the IF road to
> have your twins. Especially as it happens over and over again in face
> of failed cycle after failed cycle.

I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. This
isn't rocket science.

I guess the answer is just that this is something that some people are
sensitive about, and others aren't, and that's that. There are probably
also things that I'm sensitive about, but you wouldn't be.

Someone else asked if my wife is more bothered by intrusive questions of
various sorts. The answer is no, not at all: she loves to chat, and
would gladly talk about any of these things with a total stranger, I
think.

David desJardins

[The Huwe Family]

While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her because
they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I have
a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
nursery.)


"KimandJuan" > wrote in message
...
> >The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> >triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> >old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.
>
> WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
until
> the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
them
> and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
people
> wanting to touch?
>
>
> ~Kimberly
> Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
> Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
> come see us...
> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[The Huwe Family]

While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her because
they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I have
a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
nursery.)


"KimandJuan" > wrote in message
...
> >The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> >triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
> >old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.
>
> WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
until
> the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
them
> and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
people
> wanting to touch?
>
>
> ~Kimberly
> Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
> Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
> come see us...
> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

[Megan Byrne]

Gayle,
I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
be getting the RSV vaccines?


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[Megan Byrne]

Gayle,
I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
be getting the RSV vaccines?


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[Twinzmommie]

<< I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. >><BR><BR>

Actually, her age does not make it obvious. Many woman who are on the later
side of the child bearing years often sometimes drop more then one egg in a
cycle. The fact that she was over 40 does give a hint, but it certainly does
not make it "obvious" that fertility methods were used.




Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[Twinzmommie]

<< I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. >><BR><BR>

Actually, her age does not make it obvious. Many woman who are on the later
side of the child bearing years often sometimes drop more then one egg in a
cycle. The fact that she was over 40 does give a hint, but it certainly does
not make it "obvious" that fertility methods were used.




Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

[Ellen Kmetz]

>>It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
>>twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
>>you take fertility drugs?"
>
>That is interesting. I had never thought of that question in that light
>before.
> I've been asked that countless times. Now I wonder if that is what they are
>getting at.
>

I never thought about it either, until now. I do think some people really do
think that's the only way people have twins, if they run in the family. But
others probably are just trying to pry. I have never answered that question
any way other than "no, they are IVF babies". I have NO problem talking about
it and never have. But I totally understand people who don't care to bring
that into the conversation.

I guess part of the reason I am so open about it is because of the help it can
bring someone who asks. I once answered the twin question to a woman who I
sort of knew as an aquaintance and came to find out that she and her DH were
just about to start fertility treatment, etc. We became good friends and I was
her "source" of info. throughout. She was very grateful to be able to talk to
someone who had been through it. I realize that those situations are few and
far between, but it's just another viewpoint.


Ellen
--------
Erin 6/26/95
Bradley & Alex 10/5/00

[Ellen Kmetz]

>>It's probably just my perception, but I've been interpeting "do
>>twins run in your family" as a slightly nicer way of asking "did
>>you take fertility drugs?"
>
>That is interesting. I had never thought of that question in that light
>before.
> I've been asked that countless times. Now I wonder if that is what they are
>getting at.
>

I never thought about it either, until now. I do think some people really do
think that's the only way people have twins, if they run in the family. But
others probably are just trying to pry. I have never answered that question
any way other than "no, they are IVF babies". I have NO problem talking about
it and never have. But I totally understand people who don't care to bring
that into the conversation.

I guess part of the reason I am so open about it is because of the help it can
bring someone who asks. I once answered the twin question to a woman who I
sort of knew as an aquaintance and came to find out that she and her DH were
just about to start fertility treatment, etc. We became good friends and I was
her "source" of info. throughout. She was very grateful to be able to talk to
someone who had been through it. I realize that those situations are few and
far between, but it's just another viewpoint.


Ellen
--------
Erin 6/26/95
Bradley & Alex 10/5/00

[The Huwe Family]

Megan,

Thank you, I'll ask my doc.

I asked about the vaccine and was told that they didn't give them to babies
who were born after 30 weeks or so, but then I'd been told by others that
they give it to preemies period. I think I will ask.

Gayle
"Megan Byrne" > wrote in message
...
> Gayle,
> I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
> your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
> restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
> cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
> asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
> possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
> triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
> healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
> have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
> be getting the RSV vaccines?
>
>
> ~Megan~
> Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
> Born September 28, 2002
>
> www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis
>

[The Huwe Family]

Megan,

Thank you, I'll ask my doc.

I asked about the vaccine and was told that they didn't give them to babies
who were born after 30 weeks or so, but then I'd been told by others that
they give it to preemies period. I think I will ask.

Gayle
"Megan Byrne" > wrote in message
...
> Gayle,
> I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
> your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
> restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
> cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
> asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
> possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
> triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
> healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
> have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
> be getting the RSV vaccines?
>
>
> ~Megan~
> Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
> Born September 28, 2002
>
> www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis
>

[Kimme mik]

Hi all,
Personally, I don't like taking my twins out all too much. Especially
with all of my other kids. My oldest is 15, then 13, 8, and the twin
girls. What a specticle we are. People don't know what to think and yes,
they do ask stupid intrusive questions. I knew this was going to be a
issue the day we left the hospital and had 20 or so curious onlookers.
As for the RSV.....check out the info avaliable on-line. Our
pediatrition did recommend the synagist injections for the twins. (they
were 34 W, n breathing problems) We still haven't made a decision
weather to get it or not, but we have out appt. on Nov. 5th. Check into
it soon though as the RSV season is here.
Also, I agree, you can't live your life in fear or stay in and drive
yourself banannas all the time. I think its ok to go out as long as you
use common sense which I'm sure you do.
Kim Twin girls 9/21/03

[Kimme mik]

Hi all,
Personally, I don't like taking my twins out all too much. Especially
with all of my other kids. My oldest is 15, then 13, 8, and the twin
girls. What a specticle we are. People don't know what to think and yes,
they do ask stupid intrusive questions. I knew this was going to be a
issue the day we left the hospital and had 20 or so curious onlookers.
As for the RSV.....check out the info avaliable on-line. Our
pediatrition did recommend the synagist injections for the twins. (they
were 34 W, n breathing problems) We still haven't made a decision
weather to get it or not, but we have out appt. on Nov. 5th. Check into
it soon though as the RSV season is here.
Also, I agree, you can't live your life in fear or stay in and drive
yourself banannas all the time. I think its ok to go out as long as you
use common sense which I'm sure you do.
Kim Twin girls 9/21/03

[Megan Byrne]

I was told that preemies born 34 weeks and younger were eligible for the
RSV vaccine. Mine were 33w 3d. It is expensive, so I could see ins. cos.
arguing it, but really, ask about it. The vaccines actually run
Oct.-Apr., so call today!!


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[Megan Byrne]

I was told that preemies born 34 weeks and younger were eligible for the
RSV vaccine. Mine were 33w 3d. It is expensive, so I could see ins. cos.
arguing it, but really, ask about it. The vaccines actually run
Oct.-Apr., so call today!!


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

[Taniwha grrrl]

Kimme mik wrote:
> Hi all,
> Personally, I don't like taking my twins out all too much.
Especially
> with all of my other kids. My oldest is 15, then 13, 8,
and the twin
> girls. What a specticle we are. People don't know what to
think and
> yes, they do ask stupid intrusive questions.

I agree, my 'Are they all your's' 'how do you cope' 'where
do you put them all' 'How many bedrooms do you have' 'Did
you plan such a large family' 'Are you having any more' 'Is
this *it* then' 'Haven't you heard of contraception' 'Don't
you have a T.V' questions FAR outway my twin questions from
people. It's rare we go out all together these day's, I tend
to take them out in smaller groups or individually to avoid
the gogglers and questions.


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Taniwha grrrl]

Kimme mik wrote:
> Hi all,
> Personally, I don't like taking my twins out all too much.
Especially
> with all of my other kids. My oldest is 15, then 13, 8,
and the twin
> girls. What a specticle we are. People don't know what to
think and
> yes, they do ask stupid intrusive questions.

I agree, my 'Are they all your's' 'how do you cope' 'where
do you put them all' 'How many bedrooms do you have' 'Did
you plan such a large family' 'Are you having any more' 'Is
this *it* then' 'Haven't you heard of contraception' 'Don't
you have a T.V' questions FAR outway my twin questions from
people. It's rare we go out all together these day's, I tend
to take them out in smaller groups or individually to avoid
the gogglers and questions.


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

[Seth Jackson]

On 23 Oct 2003 16:05:52 -0700, David desJardins
> wrote:

>I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
>people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
>a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
>combination of all three.

I think my own reaction is different. We used to get a lot of
attention when our twins were babies, but frankly, I enjoyed it most
of the time. The only thing that bothered me were certain
particularly dumb questions like, "Are they identical?", when one is a
boy and one is a girl.
--
-Seth Jackson, proud father of Derek and Mariel(10/1/99). Pictures at:
http://hitmeister.home.mindspring.com/familypictures.htm

Music links: www.mp3.com/SethJackson
www.mp3.com/loudspeaker
www.SethJackson.net

[Seth Jackson]

On 23 Oct 2003 16:05:52 -0700, David desJardins
> wrote:

>I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
>people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
>a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
>combination of all three.

I think my own reaction is different. We used to get a lot of
attention when our twins were babies, but frankly, I enjoyed it most
of the time. The only thing that bothered me were certain
particularly dumb questions like, "Are they identical?", when one is a
boy and one is a girl.
--
-Seth Jackson, proud father of Derek and Mariel(10/1/99). Pictures at:
http://hitmeister.home.mindspring.com/familypictures.htm

Music links: www.mp3.com/SethJackson
www.mp3.com/loudspeaker
www.SethJackson.net

[multimom4]

> I guess part of the reason I am so open about it is because of the help it
can
> bring someone who asks. I once answered the twin question to a woman who
I
> sort of knew as an aquaintance and came to find out that she and her DH
were
> just about to start fertility treatment, etc. We became good friends and
I was
> her "source" of info. throughout. She was very grateful to be able to
talk to
> someone who had been through it. I realize that those situations are few
and
> far between, but it's just another viewpoint.
>

I agree, but I don't think such people are so very "few and far between",
though. I have had a *lot* of women approach me say and ask very personal
questions -- and then as we chat, tell me they are undergoing or about to
start treatment, or just lost an IVF pregnancy, or whatever. Since the
questions happen not to bother me, it's nice to be able to offer a few kind
words to a stranger suffering as we used to. Everyone's mileage and
tolerance varies of course -- and the interruptions were less welcome when
they were 3 weeks old than later of course.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

[multimom4]

> I guess part of the reason I am so open about it is because of the help it
can
> bring someone who asks. I once answered the twin question to a woman who
I
> sort of knew as an aquaintance and came to find out that she and her DH
were
> just about to start fertility treatment, etc. We became good friends and
I was
> her "source" of info. throughout. She was very grateful to be able to
talk to
> someone who had been through it. I realize that those situations are few
and
> far between, but it's just another viewpoint.
>

I agree, but I don't think such people are so very "few and far between",
though. I have had a *lot* of women approach me say and ask very personal
questions -- and then as we chat, tell me they are undergoing or about to
start treatment, or just lost an IVF pregnancy, or whatever. Since the
questions happen not to bother me, it's nice to be able to offer a few kind
words to a stranger suffering as we used to. Everyone's mileage and
tolerance varies of course -- and the interruptions were less welcome when
they were 3 weeks old than later of course.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

[multimom4]

It may be that as they get bigger people will become less sensitive to the
need to stay back. I know that happened to us. So just be wary as the
winter goes on ... RSV remains a problem for a couple of years --- long
after the babies stop looking so fragile.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
> I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
> batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
> to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
> refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
> daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her
because
> they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I
have
> a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
> only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
> with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
> nursery.)
>
>
> "KimandJuan" > wrote in message
> ...
> > >The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> > >triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
> month
> > >old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.
> >
> > WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
> until
> > the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
> them
> > and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
> people
> > wanting to touch?
> >
> >
> > ~Kimberly
> > Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
> > Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
> > come see us...
> > http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/
>
>

[multimom4]

It may be that as they get bigger people will become less sensitive to the
need to stay back. I know that happened to us. So just be wary as the
winter goes on ... RSV remains a problem for a couple of years --- long
after the babies stop looking so fragile.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

"The Huwe Family" > wrote in message
.com...
> While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
> I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
> batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
> to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
> refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
> daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her
because
> they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I
have
> a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
> only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
> with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
> nursery.)
>
>
> "KimandJuan" > wrote in message
> ...
> > >The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
> > >triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
> month
> > >old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.
> >
> > WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
> until
> > the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
> them
> > and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
> people
> > wanting to touch?
> >
> >
> > ~Kimberly
> > Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
> > Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
> > come see us...
> > http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/
>
>

[telmgren]

"Seth Jackson" > wrote in message
...
> On 23 Oct 2003 16:05:52 -0700, David desJardins
> > wrote:
>
> >I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
> >people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
> >a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
> >combination of all three.
>
> I think my own reaction is different. We used to get a lot of
> attention when our twins were babies, but frankly, I enjoyed it most
> of the time. The only thing that bothered me were certain
> particularly dumb questions like, "Are they identical?", when one is a
> boy and one is a girl.

People can be very ignorant with these questions, can't they? Once, a woman
who claimed to have b/g twins actually told me her twins were identical!
And, although my girls are fraternal, I get a lot of people that ask me
which side of the family twins come from. When I tell them that it had to
be from mine since my girls are fraternal, I get usually get a lot of
puzzled looks. But, it usually doesn't bother me and I often enjoy bragging
on my girls unless I'm in a hurry. :o)

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01

[telmgren]

"Seth Jackson" > wrote in message
...
> On 23 Oct 2003 16:05:52 -0700, David desJardins
> > wrote:
>
> >I wonder if there are more twins where I live (Silicon Valley), or the
> >people are different, or my own reaction is different. I never have had
> >a big problem with people "bothering" us when we go out. Maybe it's a
> >combination of all three.
>
> I think my own reaction is different. We used to get a lot of
> attention when our twins were babies, but frankly, I enjoyed it most
> of the time. The only thing that bothered me were certain
> particularly dumb questions like, "Are they identical?", when one is a
> boy and one is a girl.

People can be very ignorant with these questions, can't they? Once, a woman
who claimed to have b/g twins actually told me her twins were identical!
And, although my girls are fraternal, I get a lot of people that ask me
which side of the family twins come from. When I tell them that it had to
be from mine since my girls are fraternal, I get usually get a lot of
puzzled looks. But, it usually doesn't bother me and I often enjoy bragging
on my girls unless I'm in a hurry. :o)

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01