The Melodrama of Adolescence

[Joelle]

My daughter is driving me crazy.

She has a figure skating competition coming up. She's skating better than
ever, but the way she deals with pre-comp nerves is going to drive me to drink
(well except that I already do) or a stroke.

There was a pre-comp exhibition tonight. In the warm up she cried, she was a
terrible skater, she couldn't do this spin, everything I said was wrong, I
didn't know what I was talking about..she didn't want to skate, she didn't want
to do the spin.

So I sez "Okay, you don't have to skate, let's go home" NOOOOOOOO! "Okay well
take the spin out tonight" "I want to do the spin but I can't do the spin."
"You do the spin fine for someone at your level" Now I don't bull**** my
daughter but she's just not believing me.

So in the exhibition, she falls on the spin and then CRIES throughout her
entire program. Mind you, she lands every jump CRYING! She's skating fine but
she keeps looking at her coach like "Let me go home!" and then at the end she
does part of the combination spin she thought she was so bad at. Gets off the
ice crying...will take no comfort from me.

Well it helped that it was a bad night for everyone. Everyone fell. This is
why the coach does this, get the nerves out here, in front of friends and
family. As we leave, coach sternly lectures her "Do not cry on the ice! Cry
before, cry after, cry on the way home, cry yourself to sleep- DO NOT CRY ON
THE ICE!" Sarah laughs and jokes and is totally relaxed on the way home.

Mother is a wreck.

Joelle

[Tiffany]

Joelle > wrote in message
...
> My daughter is driving me crazy.
>
> She has a figure skating competition coming up. She's skating better than
> ever, but the way she deals with pre-comp nerves is going to drive me to
drink
> (well except that I already do) or a stroke.
>
> There was a pre-comp exhibition tonight. In the warm up she cried, she
was a
> terrible skater, she couldn't do this spin, everything I said was wrong, I
> didn't know what I was talking about..she didn't want to skate, she didn't
want
> to do the spin.
>
> So I sez "Okay, you don't have to skate, let's go home" NOOOOOOOO! "Okay
well
> take the spin out tonight" "I want to do the spin but I can't do the
spin."
> "You do the spin fine for someone at your level" Now I don't bull**** my
> daughter but she's just not believing me.
>
> So in the exhibition, she falls on the spin and then CRIES throughout her
> entire program. Mind you, she lands every jump CRYING! She's skating
fine but
> she keeps looking at her coach like "Let me go home!" and then at the end
she
> does part of the combination spin she thought she was so bad at. Gets off
the
> ice crying...will take no comfort from me.
>
> Well it helped that it was a bad night for everyone. Everyone fell. This
is
> why the coach does this, get the nerves out here, in front of friends and
> family. As we leave, coach sternly lectures her "Do not cry on the ice!
Cry
> before, cry after, cry on the way home, cry yourself to sleep- DO NOT CRY
ON
> THE ICE!" Sarah laughs and jokes and is totally relaxed on the way home.
>
> Mother is a wreck.
>
> Joelle

All I can say is goodluck and you have along road ahead of you. :)

[Cele]

On 16 Jul 2003 03:33:47 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>My daughter is driving me crazy.

[...snip...]

>Mother is a wreck.

You have my heartfelt sympathies.

I remember once with my eldest, who, God help us, hit puberty at ten,
an astonishing card game.

There were four of us - three adults and her. We played happily for
maybe twenty minutes, at which time she flung her cards down on the
table and stormed off, accusing us of cheating. We ignored her and
dealt her out. Twenty minutes later, she was back....could she play?
She knows we don't cheat. We dealt her in. Twenty minutes later she
decided she'd been accused of cheating, flung down her cards, stormed
off crying. Twenty minutes later she was back.....we decided it was
probably time to make dinner.....

Now, she's eighteen living on her own, working, going to college, and
when her sister was good and mad at me last week and called her to
complain, she not only explained to her sister in a way that her
sister could hear that I might know what I'm doing and might not be an
evil witch from hell and that my youngest might possibly benefit from
a couple more years of residence with me and attendance at
school....she also called me to fill me in on what she'd said......!

And she'd told her sister that the real world's not all skittles and
beer, and she should think through what she was doing and come and
talk rationally with me about what was on her mind......

And her sister did.

There is life after thirteen. There really is.

Hang in there.

Cele

[Karen O'Mara]

(Joelle) wrote in message >...
> My daughter is driving me crazy.
>
> She has a figure skating competition coming up. She's skating better than
> ever, but the way she deals with pre-comp nerves is going to drive me to drink
> (well except that I already do) or a stroke.
>
> There was a pre-comp exhibition tonight. In the warm up she cried, she was a
> terrible skater, she couldn't do this spin, everything I said was wrong, I
> didn't know what I was talking about..she didn't want to skate, she didn't want
> to do the spin.
>
> So I sez "Okay, you don't have to skate, let's go home" NOOOOOOOO! "Okay well
> take the spin out tonight" "I want to do the spin but I can't do the spin."
> "You do the spin fine for someone at your level" Now I don't bull**** my
> daughter but she's just not believing me.
>
> So in the exhibition, she falls on the spin and then CRIES throughout her
> entire program. Mind you, she lands every jump CRYING! She's skating fine but
> she keeps looking at her coach like "Let me go home!" and then at the end she
> does part of the combination spin she thought she was so bad at. Gets off the
> ice crying...will take no comfort from me.
>
> Well it helped that it was a bad night for everyone. Everyone fell. This is
> why the coach does this, get the nerves out here, in front of friends and
> family. As we leave, coach sternly lectures her "Do not cry on the ice! Cry
> before, cry after, cry on the way home, cry yourself to sleep- DO NOT CRY ON
> THE ICE!" Sarah laughs and jokes and is totally relaxed on the way home.
>
> Mother is a wreck.

A performer's mother is no easy job.

Karen

[Cele]

On 22 Jul 2003 23:20:16 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>Update: Back from the competition, she did great - finished 6th out of 12, and
>everyone she competed against has an axel (the next level of jump) which she
>does not have - so to finish that high was really good. And one judge put her
>3rd. And we had a fun vacation in St. Paul, Minnisota after the competition.
>And the kids didn't fight until we were about an hour away from home on the
>trip back, so maybe things are getting better..

Fabulous! :-) Congratulations.

Cele

[Cele]

On Wed, 23 Jul 2003 00:22:34 +0100, "dolores" >
wrote:

>
>"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
>> Update: Back from the competition, she did great - finished 6th out of
>12, and
>> everyone she competed against has an axel (the next level of jump) which
>she
>> does not have - so to finish that high was really good. And one judge
>put her
>> 3rd.
>
>Congrats Joelle, bet yer proud.
>
>And we had a fun vacation in St. Paul, Minnisota after the competition.
>> And the kids didn't fight until we were about an hour away from home on
>the
>> trip back, so maybe things are getting better..
>
>LOL.... at least we have *one* thing in common Joelle. I was beginning to
>think that my kids were the only kids that fought...The biggy at the moment
>is who gets to sit in the front seat... I'm so fed up with it I get in the
>car and say that if they;re in strapped in by the time I close my door I'm
>going without them.....not that it works either!! Any tips?

Mine are past it, but in their heyday, I made 'em alternate. When they
fought even a tiny bit they both had to sit in the back until it was
resolved and I didn't want to hear the discussion to resolve it.
Wouldn't stop for anyone to get in the front, either, they had to
resolve it for the next trip. Seemed to work.

Cele