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CME
September 18th 03, 06:03 AM
Shopping at WALMART


15 Things to entertain yourself at Walmart while your significant other is
taking their sweet time shopping.



1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they
aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.


3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in
Housewares . . . and see what happens. (best if timed just right with #2).


5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"


9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the antidepressants are.


11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
'Mission Impossible.'

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.


13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!
PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO!
It's those voices again!!!"


And last but not least:



15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"