child's imagination

[Tim]

Hi, everyone.

I have a bit of a difficult situation to describe. Let me start out by
saying it involves a current legal battle, and I do have counsel that
I go to for legal advice. I am concerned here with practical,
parenting advice.

My five-year old son lives with his mom. I get him on alternating
weekends, holidays, etc. He is going to therapy, supposedly because he
is aggitated upon returning from his visits with me. I note that he is
always happy with me and he never seems agitated. In several of his
therapy sessions, he has stated that I speak badly of his mother, even
repeating obscenities that I don't even know. In fact, I speak very
highly of her, telling him she is a wonderful person, and loves him
very much.

I know there will probably be some here who simply don't believe me,
but that's ok. What I want to know is does anyone have any advice on
how I can speak to my son on why he's telling these lies? If it
somehow comes across that I am "coaching" my son for his therapist
sessions, I can get in trouble with the courts. If he continues,
lying, I can get in trouble with the courts. It's a lose-lose
situation.

[Paul Fritz]

This is a very common problem, kids will tell parents what they think they
want to hear.

I would be very much concerned about this 'therapist' where did he/she
come from, who started it, is it by court order, if not, try to stop it and
get a neutral court appointed/approved one.......this could be a set up for
bigger accusations against you.


"Tim" > wrote in message
om...
> Hi, everyone.
>
> I have a bit of a difficult situation to describe. Let me start out by
> saying it involves a current legal battle, and I do have counsel that
> I go to for legal advice. I am concerned here with practical,
> parenting advice.
>
> My five-year old son lives with his mom. I get him on alternating
> weekends, holidays, etc. He is going to therapy, supposedly because he
> is aggitated upon returning from his visits with me. I note that he is
> always happy with me and he never seems agitated. In several of his
> therapy sessions, he has stated that I speak badly of his mother, even
> repeating obscenities that I don't even know. In fact, I speak very
> highly of her, telling him she is a wonderful person, and loves him
> very much.
>
> I know there will probably be some here who simply don't believe me,
> but that's ok. What I want to know is does anyone have any advice on
> how I can speak to my son on why he's telling these lies? If it
> somehow comes across that I am "coaching" my son for his therapist
> sessions, I can get in trouble with the courts. If he continues,
> lying, I can get in trouble with the courts. It's a lose-lose
> situation.

[Joelle]

>What I want to know is does anyone have any advice on
>how I can speak to my son on why he's telling these lies?

I think you gotta keep your son out of this.

>If it
>somehow comes across that I am "coaching" my son for his therapist
>sessions, I can get in trouble with the courts. If he continues,
>lying, I can get in trouble with the courts. It's a lose-lose
>situation.

What bothers me is that you seem more concerned about how this affects you then
the fact that your son is in the middle of a battle. If it's bad for Mom to
use him, it's bad for you. If she's coaching him to say things, it's not his
fault and your talking to him will cause him even more trouble. Get a lawyer
and keep your son out of it. Don't even talk about Mom with him.

Joelle

[Go_Chiefs]

Tim wrote:

> Hi, everyone.
>
> I have a bit of a difficult situation to describe. Let me start out by
> saying it involves a current legal battle, and I do have counsel that
> I go to for legal advice. I am concerned here with practical,
> parenting advice.
>
> My five-year old son lives with his mom. I get him on alternating
> weekends, holidays, etc. He is going to therapy, supposedly because he
> is aggitated upon returning from his visits with me. I note that he is
> always happy with me and he never seems agitated. In several of his
> therapy sessions, he has stated that I speak badly of his mother, even
> repeating obscenities that I don't even know. In fact, I speak very
> highly of her, telling him she is a wonderful person, and loves him
> very much.
>
> I know there will probably be some here who simply don't believe me,
> but that's ok. What I want to know is does anyone have any advice on
> how I can speak to my son on why he's telling these lies? If it
> somehow comes across that I am "coaching" my son for his therapist
> sessions, I can get in trouble with the courts. If he continues,
> lying, I can get in trouble with the courts. It's a lose-lose
> situation.

I agree with Paul... It sounds like your being set up for an
abuse charge. If this Therapist IS court appointed get your own.
If his Mom is paying GET YOUR OWN...

It may be that your ex IS coaching him... Of course this is ok as
long as YOU don't then it's wrong...

Ask your son to tell you what she says about you... Chances are
she is cutting you down every chance she gets. If so inform her
this stops or YOU will request the court place your son in a
neutral environment with separate supervised visitations.

In fact I would request via your atty that your son be granted a
court appointed Atty of his own. Express your concerns & that you
would like to nip any plans to coach your son into making worse
charges. Request that the Atty be present at ALL therapy sessions.

IOW you make it all but impossible for your soon to be ex to
turn your son against you and use him as a weapon against you.
IF your son's CAA Does believe that he is being coached by your
wife & the therapist then go for the foster home request & sole
custody w/ supervised visitations.

Oh I'd also keep the photos up to date, as well as finger prints
& DNA just in case she decides to kidnap your son as a way to
hurt you.


Ike