Advice for custodial dad

[Dennis Here]

Jeff wrote in message ...
>What a Newsgroup.
>
>I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year

Welcome.
We will have more men than women here soon, a sign of the times?
Greetings from Ireland
Dennis

[Jeff]

What a Newsgroup.

I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with my
ex seldom if ever having contact.
Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard with
custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't thank
god for what I have.

Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.

I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
sourts awarded me full custody, she left.

Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my kids
here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's difficult.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

jeff

[Tiffany]

Jeff > wrote in message ...
> What a Newsgroup.
>
> I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with my
> ex seldom if ever having contact.
> Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard with
> custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't thank
> god for what I have.
>
> Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
>
> I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
>
> Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
kids
> here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's difficult.
>
> Anyway, thanks for reading.
>
> jeff
>
>

Yes, a bunch of us here are in the same boat. Dating is hard as we don't
want to expose our children to various men/women. Have you looked in to
possible watching some of your kids friends then those parents can return
the favor and watch yours? It can be nice to set up some sort of exchange in
that way.

What is the double standard you talk about concerning custodial dads?

T

[Jeff]

"Tiffany" > wrote in message
...
>
> Jeff > wrote in message
...
> > What a Newsgroup.
> >
> > I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with
my
> > ex seldom if ever having contact.
> > Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard
with
> > custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't
thank
> > god for what I have.
> >
> > Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
> >
> > I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> > sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
> >
> > Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
> kids
> > here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's
difficult.
> >
> > Anyway, thanks for reading.
> >
> > jeff
> >
> >
>
> Yes, a bunch of us here are in the same boat. Dating is hard as we don't
> want to expose our children to various men/women. Have you looked in to
> possible watching some of your kids friends then those parents can return
> the favor and watch yours? It can be nice to set up some sort of exchange
in
> that way.
>
> What is the double standard you talk about concerning custodial dads?
>
> T
>
>


Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then a
single dad does attracting a woman.

I'm not sure what's best in thinking of dating, a single woman or a woman
with kids, certainly I'd go either way.

Still with the overwhwlming feeling sometimes, it's something I would never
trade in, just miss companionship that's all.

jeff

[Dennis Here]

'Kate <'Kate> wrote in message

>There are other single fathers here and I'm sure
>that some of them date.

Yeah, I ate a box full on Christmas day.

>Maybe they'll be able to guide you a bit.


What? The blind lead the blind?

Dennis

[Tiffany]

Jeff > wrote in message ...
>
> "Tiffany" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > Jeff > wrote in message
> ...
> > > What a Newsgroup.
> > >
> > > I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year
with
> my
> > > ex seldom if ever having contact.
> > > Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard
> with
> > > custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't
> thank
> > > god for what I have.
> > >
> > > Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
> > >
> > > I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when
the
> > > sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
> > >
> > > Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with
my
> > kids
> > > here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's
> difficult.
> > >
> > > Anyway, thanks for reading.
> > >
> > > jeff
> > >
> > >
> >
> > Yes, a bunch of us here are in the same boat. Dating is hard as we don't
> > want to expose our children to various men/women. Have you looked in to
> > possible watching some of your kids friends then those parents can
return
> > the favor and watch yours? It can be nice to set up some sort of
exchange
> in
> > that way.
> >
> > What is the double standard you talk about concerning custodial dads?
> >
> > T
> >
> >
>
>
> Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
> seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then a
> single dad does attracting a woman.
>
> I'm not sure what's best in thinking of dating, a single woman or a woman
> with kids, certainly I'd go either way.
>
> Still with the overwhwlming feeling sometimes, it's something I would
never
> trade in, just miss companionship that's all.
>
> jeff
>
>

I see what you are meaning. The problem with the whole single mother
attracting men is that those men seem to want to help and feel the women is
needy. I don't want help..... just companionship. I don't need a man to rush
in a make my life complete. But that is a whole other story.

I think the reason that I personally have not dated a man with sole custody
of his children is because the ones I have met really had some spoiled kids.
Not to say all kids raised by fathers are spoiled, as I know that isn't
true. Just the way it has been in my small world. Given the chance, I would
not turn away the chance to meet a nice guy due to the fact he has kids. I
better add that alot of kids I know raised in single mother homes are pretty
spoiled too so I think it is more or less that the parent wants to make up
for the lack of other parent.

Don't worry Jeff, before you know it your kids will be working and going to
college. Then you can date. lol

T

[Joelle]

>Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
>seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then a
>single dad does attracting a woman.

Yea right. Here's a little advice - the grass is always greener, stop thinking
you have it tougher than anyone else. You don't.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[Andrew]

"Tiffany" > wrote in message
...
>
> Jeff > wrote in message
...
> >
> > "Tiffany" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >
> > > Jeff > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > > What a Newsgroup.
> > > >
> > > > I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year
> with
> > my
> > > > ex seldom if ever having contact.
> > > > Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double
standard
> > with
> > > > custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't
> > thank
> > > > god for what I have.
> > > >
> > > > Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
> > > >
> > > > I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when
> the
> > > > sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
> > > >
> > > > Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with
> my
> > > kids
> > > > here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's
> > difficult.
> > > >
> > > > Anyway, thanks for reading.
> > > >
> > > > jeff
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > Yes, a bunch of us here are in the same boat. Dating is hard as we
don't
> > > want to expose our children to various men/women. Have you looked in
to
> > > possible watching some of your kids friends then those parents can
> return
> > > the favor and watch yours? It can be nice to set up some sort of
> exchange
> > in
> > > that way.
> > >
> > > What is the double standard you talk about concerning custodial dads?
> > >
> > > T
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> > Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
> > seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then
a
> > single dad does attracting a woman.
> >
> > I'm not sure what's best in thinking of dating, a single woman or a
woman
> > with kids, certainly I'd go either way.
> >
> > Still with the overwhwlming feeling sometimes, it's something I would
> never
> > trade in, just miss companionship that's all.
> >
> > jeff
> >
> >
>
> I see what you are meaning. The problem with the whole single mother
> attracting men is that those men seem to want to help and feel the women
is
> needy. I don't want help..... just companionship. I don't need a man to
rush
> in a make my life complete. But that is a whole other story.
>
> I think the reason that I personally have not dated a man with sole
custody
> of his children is because the ones I have met really had some spoiled
kids.
> Not to say all kids raised by fathers are spoiled, as I know that isn't
> true. Just the way it has been in my small world. Given the chance, I
would
> not turn away the chance to meet a nice guy due to the fact he has kids. I
> better add that alot of kids I know raised in single mother homes are
pretty
> spoiled too so I think it is more or less that the parent wants to make up
> for the lack of other parent.
>
> Don't worry Jeff, before you know it your kids will be working and going
to
> college. Then you can date. lol
>
> T
>
>

And it is true. There is a friend I know who's daughters are now 19 and 23.
She raised them alone for most of their lives. She is now having a whale of
a time and says she is catching up on what she missed out. Her daughters
sometimes get embarrassed when she turns up at the same clubs or parties
whooping it up but more power to her.

Andrew

[Dennis Here]

'Kate <'Kate> wrote in message

>"Dennis Here" wrote
>>
>>What? The blind lead the blind?

>
>Oh come on... I'd t hink that you know a bit about dating with children
>or Freddie wouldn't exist.

Supose I do. I'll have to think about it.

>And who's that on your lap? Hmmmm?


A big pussy.
She has just had a hysterectomy and is feeling a little down. I'll put her
back in the cat basket. Her name is Lilly BTW, guess what colour she is?

Dennis

[caroline godfrey]

"Jeff" > wrote in message
...
> What a Newsgroup.
>
> I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with my
> ex seldom if ever having contact.
> Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard with
> custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't thank
> god for what I have.
>
> Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
>
> I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
>
> Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
kids
> here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's difficult.
>
> Anyway, thanks for reading.
>
> jeff
>
>

Adult company - whats that!!!!!
It's not just the single dad's out here that are in the same boat as you,
it's single mums as well. It is so hard as a single parent to get out there
and meet people. I have 2 kids, a 4.5 girl and a 3 (on the 17th) boy. I've
been single since just before my boy was born, and when was the first time I
actually got any type of adult company from a guy - last year (february to
be exact - not that I'm keeping count here). It's a tough world out there
for all of us single parents - it's tough enough just being single without
children. For me personally the fact that a guy has kids or not doesnt even
cross my mind - there's no issue there. But I have run across female
friends who would rule out a guy with kids - not because of the kids mainly
but because of the ex and the baggage that comes with having an ex still
around. And from my own personal experience as a young single mum trying to
get out there and meet people, most men run a mile when they find out your a
mum. Except for the odd few who think you are an easy pick up because you
won't be getting much as it is, so to speak. And those guys you just don't
want. I'm just praying like hell that everyones right when they say it gets
better the older they get.
Best of Luck with it all
Caroline

[Jeff]

"caroline godfrey" > wrote in message
...
>
>
>
> "Jeff" > wrote in message
> ...
> > What a Newsgroup.
> >
> > I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with
my
> > ex seldom if ever having contact.
> > Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard
with
> > custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't
thank
> > god for what I have.
> >
> > Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
> >
> > I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> > sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
> >
> > Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
> kids
> > here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's
difficult.
> >
> > Anyway, thanks for reading.
> >
> > jeff
> >
> >
>
> Adult company - whats that!!!!!
> It's not just the single dad's out here that are in the same boat as you,
> it's single mums as well. It is so hard as a single parent to get out
there
> and meet people. I have 2 kids, a 4.5 girl and a 3 (on the 17th) boy.
I've
> been single since just before my boy was born, and when was the first time
I
> actually got any type of adult company from a guy - last year (february to
> be exact - not that I'm keeping count here). It's a tough world out there
> for all of us single parents - it's tough enough just being single without
> children. For me personally the fact that a guy has kids or not doesnt
even
> cross my mind - there's no issue there. But I have run across female
> friends who would rule out a guy with kids - not because of the kids
mainly
> but because of the ex and the baggage that comes with having an ex still
> around. And from my own personal experience as a young single mum trying
to
> get out there and meet people, most men run a mile when they find out your
a
> mum. Except for the odd few who think you are an easy pick up because you
> won't be getting much as it is, so to speak. And those guys you just
don't
> want. I'm just praying like hell that everyones right when they say it
gets
> better the older they get.
> Best of Luck with it all
> Caroline
>
>

Wow, well said, well put.


jeff

[Dennis Here]

'Kate <'Kate> wrote in message ...
>
>umm... white? I hope she recovers quickly... poor thing.


I took them both in last Friday, the white one and the black and white one.
Both seem to be fully recovered now judging by the damage to the Christmas
tree.
I suppose they were only helping to take it down!

Dennis

[TJ]

Hello ..
I've been reading up on some of the posts.. still have a few to go.. but
wanted to intro myself and comment on this post.
I'm a single mother of 4.. ages 17, 15, 8 & 7... older two from 1st
marriage.. younger 2 from 2nd.. I have to agree that being a single parent
is not easy.. especially when it comes to the 'adult' companionship
department. I find your post interesting Jeff, as I have found the same
exact problem with online/offline dating.. when it comes to having
children.. it's like you have the plague or something.. I think what scares
off alot of potential mates is the reality of just what exactly goes into
raising children today.. the cost.. the time.. etc.. Too many people now a
days are out for #1.. and that is a shame for sure.
I'm raising my 4 kids alone.. plus have other problems that came with
divorcing the last time. The 2nd spouse is now in prison for CSC 1st degree
(youngest 2 being the victims).. so there is no contact there what so ever..
as for 1st ex.. he is involved.. not as much as the kids would like but he
supports them and does help out when emergencies arise.. he is always there
financially even if he isn't always here for the kids physically. He does
make sure the older two have what they need.
As for dating? Well.. I honestly feel.. when the right person comes along..
that person will not leave just because of children.. there are people out
there who still believe in kids first.. one just must have patience (and God
knows I'm limited there lol).. and hope.
TJ


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"Jeff" > wrote in message
...
> What a Newsgroup.
>
> I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with my
> ex seldom if ever having contact.
> Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard with
> custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't thank
> god for what I have.
>
> Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
>
> I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
>
> Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
kids
> here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's difficult.
>
> Anyway, thanks for reading.
>
> jeff
>
>

[CME]

"TJ" > wrote in message
...
> Hello ..
> I've been reading up on some of the posts.. still have a few to go..
but
> wanted to intro myself and comment on this post.
> I'm a single mother of 4.. ages 17, 15, 8 & 7... older two from 1st
> marriage.. younger 2 from 2nd.. I have to agree that being a single parent
> is not easy.. especially when it comes to the 'adult' companionship
> department. I find your post interesting Jeff, as I have found the same
> exact problem with online/offline dating.. when it comes to having
> children.. it's like you have the plague or something.. I think what
scares
> off alot of potential mates is the reality of just what exactly goes into
> raising children today.. the cost.. the time.. etc.. Too many people now
a
> days are out for #1.. and that is a shame for sure.
> I'm raising my 4 kids alone.. plus have other problems that came with
> divorcing the last time. The 2nd spouse is now in prison for CSC 1st
degree
> (youngest 2 being the victims).. so there is no contact there what so
ever..
> as for 1st ex.. he is involved.. not as much as the kids would like but he
> supports them and does help out when emergencies arise.. he is always
there
> financially even if he isn't always here for the kids physically. He does
> make sure the older two have what they need.
> As for dating? Well.. I honestly feel.. when the right person comes
along..
> that person will not leave just because of children.. there are people out
> there who still believe in kids first.. one just must have patience (and
God
> knows I'm limited there lol).. and hope.
> TJ
>

Welcome to the group, from Alberta Canada.

Christine
(Mom of now officially, 8 year old twins boys)

[TJ]

Thanks for the welcome Christine. :)
TJ

[Vickychick]

"Jeff" > wrote in message >...

in regard to Tiffanys post:>
>
> Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
> seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then a
> single dad does attracting a woman.


Please! I have had men tell me they do not want added "baggage" and
this is coming from a single father!
Everyone is different. Categorizing is bad, bad, bad.
I will have to spank you if you keep this attitude up Mister!


>
> I'm not sure what's best in thinking of dating, a single woman or a woman
> with kids, certainly I'd go either way.
>
> Still with the overwhwlming feeling sometimes, it's something I would never
> trade in, just miss companionship that's all.
>
> jeff


We all miss adult companionship, safe sex and a best friend to talk
to.
It is within reason to assume you will find it again one day....just
don't drop your standards as some do.
Vicky

[Caring is Creepy \(aka kat\)]

"Jeff" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Tiffany" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > Jeff > wrote in message
> ...
> > > What a Newsgroup.
> > >
> > > I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year
with
> my
> > > ex seldom if ever having contact.
> > > Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard
> with
> > > custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't
> thank
> > > god for what I have.
> > >
> > > Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
> > >
> > > I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when
the
> > > sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
> > >
> > > Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with
my
> > kids
> > > here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's
> difficult.
> > >
> > > Anyway, thanks for reading.
> > >
> > > jeff
> > >
> > >
> >
> > Yes, a bunch of us here are in the same boat. Dating is hard as we don't
> > want to expose our children to various men/women. Have you looked in to
> > possible watching some of your kids friends then those parents can
return
> > the favor and watch yours? It can be nice to set up some sort of
exchange
> in
> > that way.
> >
> > What is the double standard you talk about concerning custodial dads?
> >
> > T
> >
> >
>
>
> Double standard i was alluding to is that a single mom raising her kids
> seems to have more of a chance attracting her man to her situation then a
> single dad does attracting a woman.
>
> I'm not sure what's best in thinking of dating, a single woman or a woman
> with kids, certainly I'd go either way.
>
> Still with the overwhwlming feeling sometimes, it's something I would
never
> trade in, just miss companionship that's all.
>
> jeff
>

Well, this might have been said already, or maybe not, and I may or may not
get flamed for it, but I, personally, would much rather date a single dad
(either full time dad or part time) before a deadbeat dad. I'd probably
just find a guy I could have as a companion, and if he turned out to be a
single dad, great, if not, that's just as great. A custodial dad would not
be something that I'd hold against someone, but a deadbeat would be
something I'd drop faster than that caserole dish I just pulled out of the
oven without oven mitts. I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I can't
really say how that would go for a deadbeat mom who does nothing for her
children, but as it stands right now, I probably would feel the same way, no
matter if I was male or female or whatever else there is.

So, long story short, I too would go for a single guy with or without
children, just so long as he is not neglecting his children somehow.

You might be finding the wrong people if they cannot accept you or how your
life is. There's gotta be someone out there who is more understanding,
cause maybe the women you are finding/finding you lack some understanding?

Maybe this has already been said... I'm just reading from the top to the
bottom and stopping to comment as I go down...


--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenetl?

[Sue]

The time will come when you will find that special someone. When I was
first separated/divored, my kids were and still are #1 priority. But, I
also have to take care of myself. At one point I did feel a need to at least
have some adult conversation and take a break from single-parenting. It
took me about 4 years. THat time will come for you, too.

You can check your local churches/synagoges, and/or try a hobby/sign up for
a class/volunteer. That helped me before I went to any adult social
functions.

'Hope this helps.

"Jeff" > wrote in message
...
> What a Newsgroup.
>
> I too am a single dad raising a 10 amd 13 year old 365 days a year with my
> ex seldom if ever having contact.
> Tried the online dating world but there seems to be a double standard with
> custodial dads. I love my kids and a day doesn't go by where i don't thank
> god for what I have.
>
> Just wish i had ocassional adult companionship too.
>
> I was in a relationship after my ex wife walked out on us, but when the
> sourts awarded me full custody, she left.
>
> Just a times it gets overwhelming. I'd never bring a woman home with my
kids
> here, and I sure have no support system to watch them, so it's difficult.
>
> Anyway, thanks for reading.
>
> jeff
>
>