just curous

[Keith Crabill]

i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told
i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i
weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose
7 days a week.or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my
boys.now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump
into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl
in my life.i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just
cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just
want to see what uall think.

[Joelle]

>i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
>partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told
>i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
>children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i

>i guess i just
>want to see what uall think.
>

Do you really think anybody here is going to tell you to ignore your kids while
you get laid?

I have to say I too, see some questionable behavior of single parents and often
am convinced that sometimes sterilization should be manditory.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[lm]

On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 14:03:45 -0500 (EST),
(Keith Crabill) wrote:

> i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
>partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told
>i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
>children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i
>weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose
>7 days a week.or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my
>boys.now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump
>into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl
>in my life.i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just
>cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just
>want to see what uall think.

What do they do the other 10% of the time? My kids are my favorite
people on the planet. Even the one that vomited down my back this
morning as I was carrying him up to his bed. I'd just showered too.

Your friends might want to consider allowing their kids to be adopted
by loving parents. Then they could get cats, or fish, or something.

lm

[occupant]

Keith Crabill wrote:
>
> i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
> partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.

Firstly, let me say I am highly opinionated and am not offended if
you disagree or ignore everything I wirte.

I had a mother who never ever left us alone, got 15 minutes from home
and returned because she didin't like the babysitter. She never got out
of bed until noon and both parents never, ever kept a promise.
Mistreated
we weren't. Neglected we were. I strongly believe that being a good
parent
has everything to do with parenting and absolutely nothing to do with
being a
good spouse although they have similar requesite qualities. As kids we
never had
hand-me-down clothes and ate the finest food money could buy. But in
the 18 to 20
years I lived at home, my brother nor I ever experienced a family
vacation.

So I say this. If you take your kids backpacking in Europe with holey
shoes,
torn clothes and very little money, you have given them one of the
greatest gifts,
experience. If you feed your children fine food, give them great
clothes protect
from the real world, you can, depending on circumstances, do a great
deal of harm
from which a child may never recover.

Children need to be with people other than their parents because they
learn
how to relate and integrate with other people something most people have
to do
for the rest of their working lives as well socially. In fact, I think
you know
as do most others that it isn't usually who is the smartest or fastest
that gets
the job, it is the one that people enjoy being around and can relate to
despite
their shortcomings.

i was told
> i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
> children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.

> am i weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose
> 7 days a week.

Not necessarily weird, but if you have an active social life you can
bring energy
and experience and new people into your life who when they meet your
boys are able
to have a positive role in their lives even if they only friends as
opposed to a new boyfriend.

> or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my
> boys.

Well, yes, you should come home to your boys, but what is critical to
your boys is
that they fit in with other chilren, and I am sure they do, because if
they don't
and you have to proect them and make excuses for them, these boys will
not necessarily
be first choice for any woman/wife no matter how much you love them.

> now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump
> into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl
> in my life.

While that is a wonderful loving statement you have made, and your boys
should play an
importantly role in your life, it is their integration into society and
their ability
to fit in that is key. Very, very important.


i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just
> cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just
> want to see what uall think.

[occupant]

I had trouble making my earlier point in relation to your question. But
a recent incident (true story) will explain it well. A women I know had
a baby and a year later returned to work. The baby was in the mother's
care 365 at home and she never went anywhere with the new baby. Giving
the mother the benefit of the doubt. And I do! The baby of one year
went to daycare and apart possibly from the first day crying
when his mother left him for the very first time, on every day that
followed, the child cried because the kid wanted to stay at daycare.
This story was told by the mother. Remember this a one year old baby.
See how smart kids are - even at one years old. That should tell you
everthing you need to know about raising a child. My observation of the
mother and child and drawing on my life's experience, I understand why
the child acted the way it did. I cannot for the life of me understand
how that child at such a young age had the capacity to react the way it
did. Yet I understand why.

While my brother and I never, ever agreed on anything and were never
socially in one another's company
during our lifetime, we agreed on one thing. Our mother should never
have had (adopted) children. That doesn't mean she didn't love us and
that doesn't mean we didn't love her. She simply couldn't be a proper
parent, not even close.

Joelle wrote:
>
> >i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
> >partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told
> >i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
> >children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i
>
> >i guess i just
> >want to see what uall think.
> >
>
> Do you really think anybody here is going to tell you to ignore your kids while
> you get laid?
>
> I have to say I too, see some questionable behavior of single parents and often
> am convinced that sometimes sterilization should be manditory.
>
> Joelle
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

[Keith Crabill]

sleep the other 10 % of the time

[Betty]

<'Kate> wrote in message ...
> On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 05:55:59 GMT, occupant

> Women in the US are likely to return to work 6 weeks after the birth of
> a baby. We don't get much leave time and economic survival of the
> family often depends on the mother's income - married or not.
>

Is there not a government paid parental leave in the US, or is the 6 weeks
it?

When my son was born, the government leave was 6 months, now it is one year.
You only get 56% of your salary, but if you can afford to live with that, it
is so worth taking the time.

Betty

[Lisa W.]

There is no Federal mandated paid maternity leave in the U.S. There is the
Family Medical Leave Act, which allows a new mother (and father, I believe)
up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave to care for a young child. There is no paid
leave, however. It is up to the employer to offer these benefits.

Lisa in NJ

"Betty" > wrote in message
news:iMPXb.515730$X%5.95514@pd7tw2no...
>
> <'Kate> wrote in message
...
> > On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 05:55:59 GMT, occupant
>
> > Women in the US are likely to return to work 6 weeks after the birth of
> > a baby. We don't get much leave time and economic survival of the
> > family often depends on the mother's income - married or not.
> >
>
> Is there not a government paid parental leave in the US, or is the 6 weeks
> it?
>
> When my son was born, the government leave was 6 months, now it is one
year.
> You only get 56% of your salary, but if you can afford to live with that,
it
> is so worth taking the time.
>
> Betty
>
>

[sg34]

You're not "old school." You're doing the most important job in the world,
being a parent to your children.

As far as going out, every parent needs to feel comfortable with their
choices. I don't say what is right or wrong, but for myself, I waited quite
a long time before I did "the singles scene." In the meantime, if you don't
want to do that, just do what feels right. Take up a new hobby, join a
club, volunteer, etc. When I started going out,
1. I wanted a break from my kids.
2. I wanted some adult conversation.
3. I was hoping to meet at least one nice person.

Best of luck to you.

"Keith Crabill" > wrote in message
...
> i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
> partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told
> i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my
> children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i
> weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose
> 7 days a week.or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my
> boys.now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump
> into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl
> in my life.i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just
> cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just
> want to see what uall think.
>

[occupant]

'Kate wrote:
>
> On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 15:27:46 -0500, "Lisa W." >
> >There is no Federal mandated paid maternity leave in the U.S. There is the
> >Family Medical Leave Act, which allows a new mother (and father, I believe)
> >up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave to care for a young child. There is no paid
> >leave, however. It is up to the employer to offer these benefits.
> >
> >Lisa in NJ
>
> Unless, of course, mom is single and willing to quit work and go on
> welfare. Oh wait... ya can't even quit because you *are* employable and
> you're expected to work so shove the baby in whatever daycare you can
> afford and get back to it. Who cares whether you're sufficiently
> recovered from childbirth or whether there's adequate, affordable
> daycare or how you're going to transport the baby there in your 15 year
> old car with no breaks 'cause you spent *that* money on the deductable
> from your employer provided insurance at a skyrocketing cost due to
> medical malpractice insurance costs rising. Single mothers are the
> bottom of the barrel anyway according to all the local newspapers who
> love to report that the reason for juvenile crime, dropouts, and teen
> pregnancy is single mothers.
>
> 'Kate

Well, there was a time when lots of offspring were needed and the taxes
and social structure was such that it benefitted women who mostly stayed
home. But today most wifes have to work to help the husbands who,
unless professionals, don't earn sufficient to support a mother and
children at home. Canadians have not demanded that there be significant
tax releave for people to have babies. There are plenty of Canadians
having lots of children but often their culture difference have built in
support that are conducive to having children as opposed to the average
Canadian who are structured to go it alone for the most part.

[skeptic]

hi
im a single dad looking for a single mom to talk to from time to time.I
like how you feel about your kids and just thaught you might know that i
feel you. write 2 me....
by by

go to paradisecat.150m.com

[Betty]

"occupant" > wrote in message
...
> Well, there was a time when lots of offspring were needed and the taxes
> and social structure was such that it benefitted women who mostly stayed
> home. But today most wifes have to work to help the husbands who,
> unless professionals, don't earn sufficient to support a mother and
> children at home. Canadians have not demanded that there be significant
> tax releave for people to have babies. There are plenty of Canadians
> having lots of children but often their culture difference have built in
> support that are conducive to having children as opposed to the average
> Canadian who are structured to go it alone for the most part.



Canada may not have the best assistance programs, for parents, but we are
far better off then some countries.

I ,for one, do not believe that the government should be paying us to stay
home and have babies.
This is a nice idea in theory, but the truth is all it ends up doing is
rewarding those who stay home and have large families and penalises those
who chose to return to work or limit the amount of children they have.

We have the Child Tax Credit, which is not a perfect system, but it at least
works the way it should.
Those who are low or middle income receive more, and those who are higher
income receive less or none.

Betty