Lookin' For Women's Input . . .

[Bob Whiteside]

But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
jewelry "to make it fair."

That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
to my daughter as a special gift.

Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
telling her to f'herself?

[dC]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Bob:

She sure has "balls" (or "ovaries" as the case may be) to approach you with
that little proposal! Maybe she hopes you won't even remember she has the
jewelry after a year.

You could always respond by saying "I don't think so. I've been saving this
jewelry to give to our daughter as a special gift." Probably as it is with
all ex's, she'll start arguing with you about it and of course at that point
you repeat yourself and hang up the phone or turn around and walk away.

Good luck!

dC

[dC]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Bob:

She sure has "balls" (or "ovaries" as the case may be) to approach you with
that little proposal! Maybe she hopes you won't even remember she has the
jewelry after a year.

You could always respond by saying "I don't think so. I've been saving this
jewelry to give to our daughter as a special gift." Probably as it is with
all ex's, she'll start arguing with you about it and of course at that point
you repeat yourself and hang up the phone or turn around and walk away.

Good luck!

dC

[teachrmama]

Would she give it back at the end of the year, Bob? Would you find it worth
taking her to court to get it back? She could, actually, claim you gave it
to her as a gift. Besides, it isn't "our" jewelry. The judge gave it to
you, right?

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
>
>

[teachrmama]

Would she give it back at the end of the year, Bob? Would you find it worth
taking her to court to get it back? She could, actually, claim you gave it
to her as a gift. Besides, it isn't "our" jewelry. The judge gave it to
you, right?

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
>
>

[Batch File]

If my ex asked me for anything short a punch in the eye, I'd laugh in her
face.


"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
>
>

[Batch File]

If my ex asked me for anything short a punch in the eye, I'd laugh in her
face.


"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
>
>

[Moon Shyne]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Why not just say no, and leave it at that? Is it necessary to make it into some
kind of battle? She makes the request, you turn it down, it's done.

>
>

[Moon Shyne]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Why not just say no, and leave it at that? Is it necessary to make it into some
kind of battle? She makes the request, you turn it down, it's done.

>
>

[Phil #3]

If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her.
Phil #3

"Batch File" > wrote in message
.com...
> If my ex asked me for anything short a punch in the eye, I'd laugh in her
> face.
>
>
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
> k.net...
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
> of
> > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
melted
> > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
and
> > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
> close
> > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
for
> > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
women's
> > jewelry "to make it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
giving
> it
> > to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to
> go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> >
>
>

[Phil #3]

If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her.
Phil #3

"Batch File" > wrote in message
.com...
> If my ex asked me for anything short a punch in the eye, I'd laugh in her
> face.
>
>
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
> k.net...
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
> of
> > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
melted
> > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
and
> > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
> close
> > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
for
> > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
women's
> > jewelry "to make it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
giving
> it
> > to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to
> go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> >
>
>

[Kenneth S.]

Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?


I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
your ex when you tell her no?

Possible answers:
(1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
outfit is for the day.
(2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
(3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
YOU.
(4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
in the future.

In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
give it to me.

(What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
from a junkyard.)

[Kenneth S.]

Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?


I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
your ex when you tell her no?

Possible answers:
(1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
outfit is for the day.
(2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
(3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
YOU.
(4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
in the future.

In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
give it to me.

(What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
from a junkyard.)

[~August]

"Phil #3" > wrote in message
k.net...
> If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her.
> Phil #3

Sounds like my husbands ex.

Keep it short and sweet Bob. Unless you are looking for trouble.. or
anyting else...

But your post made it sound (to me) as if she already had the jewelry and
she wanted to keep it another year???

~August

> >
> >
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
> > k.net...
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
one
> > of
> > > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
> melted
> > > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
> and
> > > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
> > close
> > > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
> for
> > > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
> women's
> > > jewelry "to make it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> giving
> > it
> > > to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to
> > go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>

[~August]

"Phil #3" > wrote in message
k.net...
> If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her.
> Phil #3

Sounds like my husbands ex.

Keep it short and sweet Bob. Unless you are looking for trouble.. or
anyting else...

But your post made it sound (to me) as if she already had the jewelry and
she wanted to keep it another year???

~August

> >
> >
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
> > k.net...
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
one
> > of
> > > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
> melted
> > > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
> and
> > > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
> > close
> > > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
> for
> > > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
> women's
> > > jewelry "to make it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> giving
> > it
> > > to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to
> > go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
==
I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit.
==
==
>
>

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?
==
I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit.
==
==
>
>

[The Dave©]

Bob Whiteside wrote:

> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?

Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
she pays for the appraisals, of course.

Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."

One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
She may end up with it all, anyway.

[The Dave©]

Bob Whiteside wrote:

> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?

Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
she pays for the appraisals, of course.

Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."

One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
She may end up with it all, anyway.

[Bob Whiteside]

"The Dave©" > wrote in message
...
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
>
> Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> she pays for the appraisals, of course.
>
> Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
>
> One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> She may end up with it all, anyway.

Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never responded.
I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.

The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk in
saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)

The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
that yet.

[Bob Whiteside]

"The Dave©" > wrote in message
...
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
>
> Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> she pays for the appraisals, of course.
>
> Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
>
> One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> She may end up with it all, anyway.

Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never responded.
I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.

The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk in
saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)

The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
that yet.

[Virginia]

I'd go with number 3.

Kenneth S. wrote:
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
>>But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
>>the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
>>ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
>>down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
>>had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
>>to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
>>the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
>>jewelry "to make it fair."
>>
>>That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
>>to my daughter as a special gift.
>>
>>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
>>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
>>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
>>telling her to f'herself?
>
>
>
> I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
> encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
> have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
> get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
> your ex when you tell her no?
>
> Possible answers:
> (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
> time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
> outfit is for the day.
> (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
> (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
> to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
> YOU.
> (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
> in the future.
>
> In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
> Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
> give it to me.
>
> (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
> significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
> bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
> had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
> from a junkyard.)

[Virginia]

I'd go with number 3.

Kenneth S. wrote:
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
>>But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
>>the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
>>ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
>>down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
>>had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
>>to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
>>the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
>>jewelry "to make it fair."
>>
>>That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
>>to my daughter as a special gift.
>>
>>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
>>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
>>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
>>telling her to f'herself?
>
>
>
> I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
> encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
> have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
> get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
> your ex when you tell her no?
>
> Possible answers:
> (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
> time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
> outfit is for the day.
> (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
> (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
> to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
> YOU.
> (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
> in the future.
>
> In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
> Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
> give it to me.
>
> (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
> significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
> bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
> had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
> from a junkyard.)

[Tiffany]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
nk.net...
>
> "The Dave©" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > > it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> > jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> > 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> > entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> > she pays for the appraisals, of course.
> >
> > Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> > and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
> >
> > One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> > daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> > She may end up with it all, anyway.
>
> Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
> was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
> happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never
responded.
> I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.
>
> The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
> piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk
in
> saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
> counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
> married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)
>
> The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
> she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
> our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
> just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
> that yet.
>
>
>

I am sure if you wait until your daughter is old enough, she will not ignore
your request for her to not give it away, even to Mom.

[Tiffany]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
nk.net...
>
> "The Dave©" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > > it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> > jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> > 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> > entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> > she pays for the appraisals, of course.
> >
> > Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> > and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
> >
> > One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> > daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> > She may end up with it all, anyway.
>
> Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
> was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
> happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never
responded.
> I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.
>
> The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
> piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk
in
> saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
> counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
> married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)
>
> The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
> she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
> our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
> just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
> that yet.
>
>
>

I am sure if you wait until your daughter is old enough, she will not ignore
your request for her to not give it away, even to Mom.

[Jon]

Tell her you sold it to afford to pay child support. either that or you
traded it for cheap sex one night in town.

[Jon]

Tell her you sold it to afford to pay child support. either that or you
traded it for cheap sex one night in town.

[Kenneth S.]

I forgot to tell Bob that he looks just wonderful in the pendant
ear-rings.


Virginia wrote:
>
> I'd go with number 3.
>
> Kenneth S. wrote:
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> >>But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> >>the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> >>ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> >>down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> >>had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> >>to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> >>the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> >>jewelry "to make it fair."
> >>
> >>That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> >>to my daughter as a special gift.
> >>
> >>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> >>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> >>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> >>telling her to f'herself?
> >
> >
> >
> > I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
> > encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
> > have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
> > get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
> > your ex when you tell her no?
> >
> > Possible answers:
> > (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
> > time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
> > outfit is for the day.
> > (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
> > (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
> > to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
> > YOU.
> > (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
> > in the future.
> >
> > In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
> > Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
> > give it to me.
> >
> > (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
> > significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
> > bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
> > had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
> > from a junkyard.)

[Kenneth S.]

I forgot to tell Bob that he looks just wonderful in the pendant
ear-rings.


Virginia wrote:
>
> I'd go with number 3.
>
> Kenneth S. wrote:
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> >>But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> >>the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> >>ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> >>down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> >>had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> >>to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> >>the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> >>jewelry "to make it fair."
> >>
> >>That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> >>to my daughter as a special gift.
> >>
> >>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> >>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> >>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> >>telling her to f'herself?
> >
> >
> >
> > I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
> > encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
> > have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
> > get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
> > your ex when you tell her no?
> >
> > Possible answers:
> > (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
> > time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
> > outfit is for the day.
> > (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
> > (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
> > to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
> > YOU.
> > (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
> > in the future.
> >
> > In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
> > Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
> > give it to me.
> >
> > (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a
> > significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had
> > bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I
> > had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat
> > from a junkyard.)

[Kenneth S.]

You're welcome, Bob. And you can depend on one thing -- I won't tell
anyone about the rest of your attire (other than the pendant ear-rings),
which I'm afraid makes a really deplorable fashion statement. (I want
you to know also that I know what CMFM shoes are. A lady friend told me
a while back, and I was VERY surprised that she would know about such
things.)

You did the right thing with your ex. Not only does she get along
better now that you've got her off your payroll, but I'll bet you do
too.


Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> "Kenneth S." > wrote in message
> ...
> > I forgot to tell Bob that he looks just wonderful in the pendant
> > ear-rings.
>
> Thanks for the compliment! You ought to see me when I put on my CMFM high
> heels, wear a black low cut dress, and go to town with ruby red lips wearing
> all my gold, diamonds, and emeralds. I'm a real fashion statement. Except
> for the hairy chest and legs, the deep voice, short hair, and the five
> o'clock shadow, no one could tell I'm really a man. I'm thinking about
> getting my tongue pierced and using one of the diamonds for the stud as a
> diversion.
>
> Seriously, I sent her an email earlier today about her request to borrow
> "our" jewelry saying simply, "No. I prefer to keep *my* jewelry." She and
> I have gotten along a lot better now that I don't owe her any more CS. She
> no longer has the state CS system to hide behind and use to harass me so she
> is forced to deal with me straight up.

[Kenneth S.]

You're welcome, Bob. And you can depend on one thing -- I won't tell
anyone about the rest of your attire (other than the pendant ear-rings),
which I'm afraid makes a really deplorable fashion statement. (I want
you to know also that I know what CMFM shoes are. A lady friend told me
a while back, and I was VERY surprised that she would know about such
things.)

You did the right thing with your ex. Not only does she get along
better now that you've got her off your payroll, but I'll bet you do
too.


Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> "Kenneth S." > wrote in message
> ...
> > I forgot to tell Bob that he looks just wonderful in the pendant
> > ear-rings.
>
> Thanks for the compliment! You ought to see me when I put on my CMFM high
> heels, wear a black low cut dress, and go to town with ruby red lips wearing
> all my gold, diamonds, and emeralds. I'm a real fashion statement. Except
> for the hairy chest and legs, the deep voice, short hair, and the five
> o'clock shadow, no one could tell I'm really a man. I'm thinking about
> getting my tongue pierced and using one of the diamonds for the stud as a
> diversion.
>
> Seriously, I sent her an email earlier today about her request to borrow
> "our" jewelry saying simply, "No. I prefer to keep *my* jewelry." She and
> I have gotten along a lot better now that I don't owe her any more CS. She
> no longer has the state CS system to hide behind and use to harass me so she
> is forced to deal with me straight up.

[frazil]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

"I'm not aware of any jewelery that is ours". (a straight forward,
relatively non-inflamatory response)

Or, "Sure you can wear our jewelery, if we had any." (get's the message
across, in a suitable sarcastic manner)

Or, and my personnal favorite, "Huh?"

Take your pick.

[frazil]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
k.net...
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving
it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to
go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

"I'm not aware of any jewelery that is ours". (a straight forward,
relatively non-inflamatory response)

Or, "Sure you can wear our jewelery, if we had any." (get's the message
across, in a suitable sarcastic manner)

Or, and my personnal favorite, "Huh?"

Take your pick.

[frazil]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
nk.net...
>
> "The Dave©" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > > it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> > jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> > 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> > entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> > she pays for the appraisals, of course.
> >
> > Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> > and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
> >
> > One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> > daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> > She may end up with it all, anyway.
>
> Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
> was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
> happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never
responded.
> I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.
>
> The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
> piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk
in
> saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
> counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
> married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)
>
> The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
> she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
> our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
> just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
> that yet.

You should give it to her when you think she is able to resist making a
decision out of guilt, and when you can accept any decision she makes
regarding her jewelry (i.e Once you give it to her, it is hers, not yours.
And she is free to do anything she wants with it. Gifts don't come with
conditions).

[frazil]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
nk.net...
>
> "The Dave©" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and
> > > one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value
> > > of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the
> > > dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was
> > > low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's
> > > dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched
> > > so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge
> > > awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make
> > > it fair."
> > >
> > > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
> > > giving it to my daughter as a special gift.
> > >
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
> > > jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression
> > > is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to
> > > respond to her short of telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR
> > jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of
> > 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's
> > entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After
> > she pays for the appraisals, of course.
> >
> > Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter
> > and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time."
> >
> > One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your
> > daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her.
> > She may end up with it all, anyway.
>
> Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request
> was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her
> happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never
responded.
> I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy.
>
> The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular
> piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk
in
> saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a
> counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was
> married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.)
>
> The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If
> she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to
> our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will
> just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle
> that yet.

You should give it to her when you think she is able to resist making a
decision out of guilt, and when you can accept any decision she makes
regarding her jewelry (i.e Once you give it to her, it is hers, not yours.
And she is free to do anything she wants with it. Gifts don't come with
conditions).

[observer]

>I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit.

This is a FIVE STAR reply!!!! BULLY!!!!!! :-)

[observer]

>I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit.

This is a FIVE STAR reply!!!! BULLY!!!!!! :-)

[GudGye11]

In article >, "Kenneth S." > writes:

> I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
>encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
>have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
>get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
>your ex when you tell her no?
>
> Possible answers:
>(1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
>time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
>outfit is for the day.
>(2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
>(3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
>to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
>YOU.
>(4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
>in the future.
>
> In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
>Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
>give it to me.

How about another possibility?

(5) Yes, of course you can use some of "my" jewelry. I will send you the most
recent rental schedule, for "per day, per week or per week" time periods, and
you can decide how much you want to lease. Just remember that I require the
rental up front, along with a security deposit.

[GudGye11]

In article >, "Kenneth S." > writes:

> I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this
>encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her
>have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't
>get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from
>your ex when you tell her no?
>
> Possible answers:
>(1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the
>time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my
>outfit is for the day.
>(2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend.
>(3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it
>to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave
>YOU.
>(4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it
>in the future.
>
> In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation.
>Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and
>give it to me.

How about another possibility?

(5) Yes, of course you can use some of "my" jewelry. I will send you the most
recent rental schedule, for "per day, per week or per week" time periods, and
you can decide how much you want to lease. Just remember that I require the
rental up front, along with a security deposit.

[Chris Owens]

Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

The jewelry is your property, not hers; she has no claim on it.
Tell her, politely, that, if she wants any of the jewelry, you'll
be glad to:

1. Sell it to her at current appraised value.

2. Rent it to her at 25% of current appraised value per year,
payment in advance, and she has to provide a paid-in-full
insurance policy covering the jewelry and naming you as owner.

BTW, if you should ever try to sell that jewelry, unless it's
something really exceptional in the way of a custom or antique
piece, you'll probably find that your wife's original estimates
were correct. The retail jewelry market runs on horrifically
inflated prices; the jewelry resale market is way, way lower.
You can easily check this out by looking at the actual sale price
of used, common jewelry pieces on E-bay, or by taking the pieces
to one of those 'we buy jewelry' places and seeing what they
offer you. You'd have been better off letting your wife claim
the inflated prices and take the jewelry; and then claiming an
equal value of tangible assets of more solid worth.

Chris Owens


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[Chris Owens]

Bob Whiteside wrote:
>
> But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of
> the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted
> down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and
> had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close
> to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for
> the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's
> jewelry "to make it fair."
>
> That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it
> to my daughter as a special gift.
>
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

The jewelry is your property, not hers; she has no claim on it.
Tell her, politely, that, if she wants any of the jewelry, you'll
be glad to:

1. Sell it to her at current appraised value.

2. Rent it to her at 25% of current appraised value per year,
payment in advance, and she has to provide a paid-in-full
insurance policy covering the jewelry and naming you as owner.

BTW, if you should ever try to sell that jewelry, unless it's
something really exceptional in the way of a custom or antique
piece, you'll probably find that your wife's original estimates
were correct. The retail jewelry market runs on horrifically
inflated prices; the jewelry resale market is way, way lower.
You can easily check this out by looking at the actual sale price
of used, common jewelry pieces on E-bay, or by taking the pieces
to one of those 'we buy jewelry' places and seeing what they
offer you. You'd have been better off letting your wife claim
the inflated prices and take the jewelry; and then claiming an
equal value of tangible assets of more solid worth.

Chris Owens


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

[Bob Whiteside]

"Chris Owens" > wrote in message
...
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
melted
> > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
and
> > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
for
> > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
women's
> > jewelry "to make it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
giving it
> > to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> The jewelry is your property, not hers; she has no claim on it.
> Tell her, politely, that, if she wants any of the jewelry, you'll
> be glad to:
>
> 1. Sell it to her at current appraised value.
>
> 2. Rent it to her at 25% of current appraised value per year,
> payment in advance, and she has to provide a paid-in-full
> insurance policy covering the jewelry and naming you as owner.
>
> BTW, if you should ever try to sell that jewelry, unless it's
> something really exceptional in the way of a custom or antique
> piece, you'll probably find that your wife's original estimates
> were correct. The retail jewelry market runs on horrifically
> inflated prices; the jewelry resale market is way, way lower.
> You can easily check this out by looking at the actual sale price
> of used, common jewelry pieces on E-bay, or by taking the pieces
> to one of those 'we buy jewelry' places and seeing what they
> offer you. You'd have been better off letting your wife claim
> the inflated prices and take the jewelry; and then claiming an
> equal value of tangible assets of more solid worth.

The dispute was over how to set a fair value on the jewelry. She wanted to
use a melted down for junk appraisal which obviously way understated the
jewelry value. That's the equivalent of a burglar selling stolen jewelry to
his fence. (She also testified she intended to keep the jewelry so this
appraisal was suspect. Also all other assets are valued at replacement cost
in property settlements.)

I challenged that approach to setting a fair value, and ask that she deliver
the jewelry to a store that did appraisals. I asked the store owner to
provide a replacement value appraisal the same as they would do for
establishing jewelry value for insurance coverage.

The problem was my ex told the store appraiser to give me a wholesale value
appraisal based on what it would cost them to purchase replacements before
any mark-up.

Then when I realized the store owner had allowed my ex to interfere in the
appraisal process I WAS PAYING FOR he gave me what I asked for. I refused
to pay for the appraisal process he botched and he agreed I shouldn't have
to pay.

When we went to court, I asked for the judge to establish a fair value for
the jewelry. I also pointed out that a very expensive pair of earrings had
been appraised as paste (she swapped out diamonds for zirconium's) and a
couple of pieces were never presented for appraisal.

The judge looked at three separate appraisals, the problem with the real
jewelry being replaced with fakes for appraisal, and some jewelry not even
being included, and gave up. She just spilt the jewelry between us in what
she thought was a fair distribution and steered away from actually setting a
fair market value on any of it.

[Bob Whiteside]

"Chris Owens" > wrote in message
...
> Bob Whiteside wrote:
> >
> > But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one
of
> > the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my
> > ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar
melted
> > down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value
and
> > had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth
close
> > to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals
for
> > the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of
women's
> > jewelry "to make it fair."
> >
> > That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like
giving it
> > to my daughter as a special gift.
> >
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> The jewelry is your property, not hers; she has no claim on it.
> Tell her, politely, that, if she wants any of the jewelry, you'll
> be glad to:
>
> 1. Sell it to her at current appraised value.
>
> 2. Rent it to her at 25% of current appraised value per year,
> payment in advance, and she has to provide a paid-in-full
> insurance policy covering the jewelry and naming you as owner.
>
> BTW, if you should ever try to sell that jewelry, unless it's
> something really exceptional in the way of a custom or antique
> piece, you'll probably find that your wife's original estimates
> were correct. The retail jewelry market runs on horrifically
> inflated prices; the jewelry resale market is way, way lower.
> You can easily check this out by looking at the actual sale price
> of used, common jewelry pieces on E-bay, or by taking the pieces
> to one of those 'we buy jewelry' places and seeing what they
> offer you. You'd have been better off letting your wife claim
> the inflated prices and take the jewelry; and then claiming an
> equal value of tangible assets of more solid worth.

The dispute was over how to set a fair value on the jewelry. She wanted to
use a melted down for junk appraisal which obviously way understated the
jewelry value. That's the equivalent of a burglar selling stolen jewelry to
his fence. (She also testified she intended to keep the jewelry so this
appraisal was suspect. Also all other assets are valued at replacement cost
in property settlements.)

I challenged that approach to setting a fair value, and ask that she deliver
the jewelry to a store that did appraisals. I asked the store owner to
provide a replacement value appraisal the same as they would do for
establishing jewelry value for insurance coverage.

The problem was my ex told the store appraiser to give me a wholesale value
appraisal based on what it would cost them to purchase replacements before
any mark-up.

Then when I realized the store owner had allowed my ex to interfere in the
appraisal process I WAS PAYING FOR he gave me what I asked for. I refused
to pay for the appraisal process he botched and he agreed I shouldn't have
to pay.

When we went to court, I asked for the judge to establish a fair value for
the jewelry. I also pointed out that a very expensive pair of earrings had
been appraised as paste (she swapped out diamonds for zirconium's) and a
couple of pieces were never presented for appraisal.

The judge looked at three separate appraisals, the problem with the real
jewelry being replaced with fakes for appraisal, and some jewelry not even
being included, and gave up. She just spilt the jewelry between us in what
she thought was a fair distribution and steered away from actually setting a
fair market value on any of it.

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
it's about happiness and getting along with others.

Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
worth it alone.

Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
education.

The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
bigger person?

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for
> the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go
> f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> telling her to f'herself?

Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
it's about happiness and getting along with others.

Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
worth it alone.

Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
education.

The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
bigger person?

[Bob Whiteside]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> it's about happiness and getting along with others.

Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS and
SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me to
re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am in
a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.

>
> Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> worth it alone.

I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to manipulate
the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye. But,
Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's a
butt cheek.

>
> Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> education.

If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should do
with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.

>
> The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> bigger person?

Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move back
in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person and
forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our relationship.
I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me get
in touch with reality!

[Bob Whiteside]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> it's about happiness and getting along with others.

Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS and
SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me to
re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am in
a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.

>
> Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> worth it alone.

I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to manipulate
the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye. But,
Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's a
butt cheek.

>
> Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> education.

If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should do
with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.

>
> The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> bigger person?

Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move back
in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person and
forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our relationship.
I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me get
in touch with reality!

[gini52]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> it's about happiness and getting along with others.
===
Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
"rational,"
"friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about happiness
and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing with
Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it does to
that little girl?
So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss your
situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea is
not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the peace
and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding elsewhere.
As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
===
===

>
> Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> worth it alone.
>
> Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> education.
>
> The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> bigger person?

[gini52]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
for
> > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
to go
> > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
> > telling her to f'herself?
>
> Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> it's about happiness and getting along with others.
===
Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
"rational,"
"friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about happiness
and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing with
Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it does to
that little girl?
So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss your
situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea is
not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the peace
and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding elsewhere.
As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
===
===

>
> Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> worth it alone.
>
> Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> education.
>
> The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> bigger person?

[Bob Whiteside]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
> ===
> Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
> "rational,"
> "friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about
happiness
> and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing with
> Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it does
to
> that little girl?
> So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss your
> situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
> rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea is
> not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the
peace
> and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding
elsewhere.
> As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
> ===
> ===

Gini you are being way too harsh. Brian is the Bozo the Clown we all grew
up loving. He is a constant loser who can't have any impact on his
environment so he suffers.

Brian's "credibility" is based on his unwavering commitment to hating male
protagonists and telling strong male figures how to meet his definition of a
real man. He is a cartoon of how females can dominate men and force them
into being their subjects of dominance.

[Bob Whiteside]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
> ===
> Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
> "rational,"
> "friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about
happiness
> and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing with
> Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it does
to
> that little girl?
> So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss your
> situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
> rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea is
> not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the
peace
> and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding
elsewhere.
> As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
> ===
> ===

Gini you are being way too harsh. Brian is the Bozo the Clown we all grew
up loving. He is a constant loser who can't have any impact on his
environment so he suffers.

Brian's "credibility" is based on his unwavering commitment to hating male
protagonists and telling strong male figures how to meet his definition of a
real man. He is a cartoon of how females can dominate men and force them
into being their subjects of dominance.

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
ink.net...
>
> "gini52" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Brian" > wrote in message
> > om...
> > > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
jewelry
> > for
> > > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell
her
> > to go
> > > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her
short
> of
> > > > telling her to f'herself?
> > >
> > > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
> > ===
> > Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
> > "rational,"
> > "friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about
> happiness
> > and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing
with
> > Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it
does
> to
> > that little girl?
> > So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss
your
> > situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
> > rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea
is
> > not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the
> peace
> > and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding
> elsewhere.
> > As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
> > ===
> > ===
>
> Gini you are being way too harsh. Brian is the Bozo the Clown we all grew
> up loving.
==
Bozo good--Brian bad.
==
He is a constant loser who can't have any impact on his
> environment so he suffers.
>
> Brian's "credibility" is based on his unwavering commitment to hating
male
> protagonists and telling strong male figures how to meet his definition of
a
> real man. He is a cartoon of how females can dominate men and force them
> into being their subjects of dominance.
==
Brian's condition is not a result of female domination. If the female were
dominating him,
he would :
1. be earning money
2. be doing so much yard and home improvement work that he wouldn't have
time for webtv.
3. be walking the baby boy and taking his stepdaughter to the movies every
Saturday.
4. sit down and shut up.
==
==
>
>

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
ink.net...
>
> "gini52" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Brian" > wrote in message
> > om...
> > > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our"
jewelry
> > for
> > > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell
her
> > to go
> > > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her
short
> of
> > > > telling her to f'herself?
> > >
> > > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
> > ===
> > Oh PULEEEZE, Brian!! Why is it that when Bob is dealing with his ex,
> > "rational,"
> > "friendly," and "it's not about money or who-got-what, it's about
> happiness
> > and getting along with others" are required but when you are dealing
with
> > Rinaldo, it's revenge and vindictiveness regardless of the damage it
does
> to
> > that little girl?
> > So, Brian, when are *you* going to sit down with Rinaldo and discuss
your
> > situation "in a rational and friendly manner, rather than let hostility
> > rule?" Oh, yeah--and this is a great one out of your mouth: "The idea
is
> > not to let the material possesions cause a rift... so why not keep the
> peace
> > and show yourself as the bigger person?" Take your grandstanding
> elsewhere.
> > As far as I can tell, Brian--you've got ZERO credibility here.
> > ===
> > ===
>
> Gini you are being way too harsh. Brian is the Bozo the Clown we all grew
> up loving.
==
Bozo good--Brian bad.
==
He is a constant loser who can't have any impact on his
> environment so he suffers.
>
> Brian's "credibility" is based on his unwavering commitment to hating
male
> protagonists and telling strong male figures how to meet his definition of
a
> real man. He is a cartoon of how females can dominate men and force them
> into being their subjects of dominance.
==
Brian's condition is not a result of female domination. If the female were
dominating him,
he would :
1. be earning money
2. be doing so much yard and home improvement work that he wouldn't have
time for webtv.
3. be walking the baby boy and taking his stepdaughter to the movies every
Saturday.
4. sit down and shut up.
==
==
>
>

[Tiffany]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
ink.net...
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
>
> Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
> side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
> inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS
and
> SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me
to
> re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
> tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am
in
> a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.
>
> >
> > Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> > made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> > Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> > makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> > worth it alone.
>
> I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
> attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to
manipulate
> the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
> give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye.
But,
> Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
> more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's
a
> butt cheek.
>
> >
> > Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> > are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> > education.
>
> If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
> wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
> in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
> ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
> have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should
do
> with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
> Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.
>
> >
> > The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> > though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> > daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> > bigger person?
>
> Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move
back
> in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
> monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person
and
> forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
> Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our
relationship.
> I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me
get
> in touch with reality!
>
>

Damn.... I am getting sick from all this sensitivity. LMAO

T

[Tiffany]

Bob Whiteside > wrote in message
ink.net...
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
> for
> > > the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
> to go
> > > f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short
of
> > > telling her to f'herself?
> >
> > Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
> > and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
> > let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
> > it's about happiness and getting along with others.
>
> Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
> side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
> inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS
and
> SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me
to
> re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
> tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am
in
> a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.
>
> >
> > Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
> > made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
> > Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
> > makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
> > worth it alone.
>
> I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
> attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to
manipulate
> the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
> give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye.
But,
> Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
> more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's
a
> butt cheek.
>
> >
> > Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
> > are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
> > education.
>
> If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
> wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
> in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
> ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
> have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should
do
> with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
> Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.
>
> >
> > The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
> > though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
> > daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
> > bigger person?
>
> Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move
back
> in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
> monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person
and
> forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
> Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our
relationship.
> I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me
get
> in touch with reality!
>
>

Damn.... I am getting sick from all this sensitivity. LMAO

T

[[email protected]]

Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
one over your ex.

Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
Losers.

[[email protected]]

Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
one over your ex.

Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
Losers.

[teachrmama]

> wrote in message
...
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2 children,
Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two are
connected.

>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.

Seems to me that Babsaid he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter when
the time is right.

>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants it is
hypocritical?

>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.
>

[teachrmama]

> wrote in message
...
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2 children,
Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two are
connected.

>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.

Seems to me that Babsaid he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter when
the time is right.

>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants it is
hypocritical?

>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.
>

[[email protected]]

(teachrmama) wrote:
"Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
are connected."

---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
dealing with his ex.

Seems to me that Bob said he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter
when the time is right.

---Is doing that worth keeping a conflict going with his ex? Just get
rid of it if it's causing trouble.

Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants
it is hypocritical?

---At the expense of familial harmony, yes. And Bob and his ex are just
as much family as Deadbeat 'Naldo and my wife are.

[[email protected]]

(teachrmama) wrote:
"Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
are connected."

---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
dealing with his ex.

Seems to me that Bob said he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter
when the time is right.

---Is doing that worth keeping a conflict going with his ex? Just get
rid of it if it's causing trouble.

Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants
it is hypocritical?

---At the expense of familial harmony, yes. And Bob and his ex are just
as much family as Deadbeat 'Naldo and my wife are.

[gini52]

> wrote in message
...
> (teachrmama) wrote:
> "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> are connected."
>
> ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> dealing with his ex.
...........................
==
BS!! You never even mentioned Bob's attitude toward your situation with
Ronaldo. You only brought that up after I told you what a hypocrite *you*
are.
Your original post had nothing to do with anything Bob wrote about him and
you know it.
Now go get a job so Kimberly has something to attach *your*
income withholding order to when she gets tired of carrying your ass and
having her daughter
put up with your abuse. It's just a matter of time, Brian and don't come
crying to us when it happens.
==
==
>

[gini52]

> wrote in message
...
> (teachrmama) wrote:
> "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> are connected."
>
> ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> dealing with his ex.
...........................
==
BS!! You never even mentioned Bob's attitude toward your situation with
Ronaldo. You only brought that up after I told you what a hypocrite *you*
are.
Your original post had nothing to do with anything Bob wrote about him and
you know it.
Now go get a job so Kimberly has something to attach *your*
income withholding order to when she gets tired of carrying your ass and
having her daughter
put up with your abuse. It's just a matter of time, Brian and don't come
crying to us when it happens.
==
==
>

[Bob Whiteside]

> wrote in message
...
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

Most of us here know the difference between CS payments and property
settlements. Assuming they are somehow tied together is a major error on
your part. In fact, the law allows property settlement adjustments in lieu
of paying spousal support. I got what my state characterizes as the "short
half" on the property settlement, which amounted to slightly more like 1/3
of the assets and paid spousal support on top of that. Giving back anything
I got would be insane. Sooner or later you have to accept the BS and move
on with your new life.

>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.

Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And believe
me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge property
settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me out
of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with her
on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford to
keep the house, etc.

>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.

>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.

Right!

[Bob Whiteside]

> wrote in message
...
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.

Most of us here know the difference between CS payments and property
settlements. Assuming they are somehow tied together is a major error on
your part. In fact, the law allows property settlement adjustments in lieu
of paying spousal support. I got what my state characterizes as the "short
half" on the property settlement, which amounted to slightly more like 1/3
of the assets and paid spousal support on top of that. Giving back anything
I got would be insane. Sooner or later you have to accept the BS and move
on with your new life.

>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.

Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And believe
me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge property
settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me out
of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with her
on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford to
keep the house, etc.

>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.

Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.

>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.

Right!

[Virginia]

your hilarious

Bob Whiteside wrote:
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
>
>>"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
>>
>>>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
>
> for
>
>>>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
>
> to go
>
>>>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
>>>telling her to f'herself?
>>
>>Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
>>and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
>>let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
>>it's about happiness and getting along with others.
>
>
> Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
> side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
> inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS and
> SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me to
> re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
> tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am in
> a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.
>
>
>>Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
>>made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
>> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
>>makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
>>worth it alone.
>
>
> I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
> attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to manipulate
> the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
> give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye. But,
> Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
> more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's a
> butt cheek.
>
>
>>Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
>>are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
>>education.
>
>
> If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
> wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
> in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
> ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
> have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should do
> with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
> Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.
>
>
>>The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
>>though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
>>daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
>>bigger person?
>
>
> Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move back
> in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
> monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person and
> forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
> Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our relationship.
> I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me get
> in touch with reality!
>
>

[Virginia]

your hilarious

Bob Whiteside wrote:
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
>
>>"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
>>
>>>Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry
>
> for
>
>>>the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her
>
> to go
>
>>>f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of
>>>telling her to f'herself?
>>
>>Bob, don't you think it would be better for both of you to sit down
>>and discuss her request in a rational and friendly manner, rather than
>>let hostility rule? After all, it's not about money or who-got-what,
>>it's about happiness and getting along with others.
>
>
> Brian - Thanks for reminding me I need to get in touch with my more tender
> side and see all divorce issues from a feminine perspective. You have
> inspired me to put aside all of my anger over paying huge amounts of CS and
> SS based on false and misleading testimony. Your comments have casued me to
> re-evaluate my deep-rooted feelings about getting screwed by a person who
> tried to manipulate the property settlement valuation of key items. I am in
> a forgiving mood tonight so I won't tell you how f**ked up your ideas are.
>
>
>>Perhaps you should let her use some of the jewelry. After all, it IS
>>made for a woman. What good is it doing you just sitting in a drawer?
>> Plus, you'll get a really good feeling from doing something that
>>makes your ex-wife happy. I'll bet the smile on her face would be
>>worth it alone.
>
>
> I know what you are saying. I'm just in this sensitive mood. She got her
> attorney to get her butt out of the jam she created by trying to manipulate
> the jewlry appraisals and now I should just let her get away with it and
> give her back what is rightfully hers. Hey, I have a tear in my eye. But,
> Brian she tried to f**k me finacnially over this issue and it was probably
> more than you make in a year. I'll turn the other cheek, but Brian, it's a
> butt cheek.
>
>
>>Or you could consider selling the jewelry outright (if both parties
>>are agreeable) and put the proceeds in an account for your daughter's
>>education.
>
>
> If my daughter hadn't already graduated from college this would be a
> wonderfully acceptable solution and an opportunity to show how much I care
> in my most sensitive way. Of course, you are right. I should consult my
> ex-spouse before I make any decisions about my assets. After all she does
> have the right to insist I be agreeable with whatever she feels I should do
> with my assets. I mean what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers too.
> Your sensitivity has made me think twice about the situation.
>
>
>>The idea is not to let the material possesions cause a rift. Even
>>though you're not married anymore, you're still a family (you have the
>>daughter together), so why not keep the peace and show yourself as the
>>bigger person?
>
>
> Yeah I know. I'm seriously thinking about asking my ex-spouse to move back
> in with me so she can make up for all those years she struggled with
> monogamy. She deserves a second chance and I need to be a bigger person and
> forgive her. It was all my fault and I can't lose sight of that concept.
> Thanks Brian for making me realize how misguided I was in our relationship.
> I mean expecting monogamy - how delusional was I. Thanks for helping me get
> in touch with reality!
>
>

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> Giving back anything I got would be insane.

Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

> Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And believe
> me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge property
> settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me out
> of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with her
> on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford to
> keep the house, etc.

The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
prevent it?

> > Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
>
> Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.

Already did. If I'm supposed to be understanding to 'Naldo Deadbeat,
why can't you apply some of that philosophy to your own situation?
Pot. Kettle. Black.

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> Giving back anything I got would be insane.

Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

> Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And believe
> me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge property
> settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me out
> of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with her
> on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford to
> keep the house, etc.

The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
prevent it?

> > Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
>
> Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.

Already did. If I'm supposed to be understanding to 'Naldo Deadbeat,
why can't you apply some of that philosophy to your own situation?
Pot. Kettle. Black.

[Paul Fritz]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> > are connected."
> >
> > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > dealing with his ex.
> ..........................
> ==
> BS!! You never even mentioned Bob's attitude toward your situation with
> Ronaldo. You only brought that up after I told you what a hypocrite *you*
> are.
> Your original post had nothing to do with anything Bob wrote about him and
> you know it.
> Now go get a job so Kimberly has something to attach *your*
> income withholding order to when she gets tired of carrying your ass and
> having her daughter
> put up with your abuse. It's just a matter of time, Brian and don't come
> crying to us when it happens.
> ==
> ==
> >

If cryin brian would put half the effort into finding a job as he does
bashing his wife's ex, he'd be working by now......but it shouldn't be long
before he'll be whining about the imputed income imposed on him. <snicker>

>
>

[Paul Fritz]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> > are connected."
> >
> > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > dealing with his ex.
> ..........................
> ==
> BS!! You never even mentioned Bob's attitude toward your situation with
> Ronaldo. You only brought that up after I told you what a hypocrite *you*
> are.
> Your original post had nothing to do with anything Bob wrote about him and
> you know it.
> Now go get a job so Kimberly has something to attach *your*
> income withholding order to when she gets tired of carrying your ass and
> having her daughter
> put up with your abuse. It's just a matter of time, Brian and don't come
> crying to us when it happens.
> ==
> ==
> >

If cryin brian would put half the effort into finding a job as he does
bashing his wife's ex, he'd be working by now......but it shouldn't be long
before he'll be whining about the imputed income imposed on him. <snicker>

>
>

[Brian]

"Paul Fritz" > wrote:
> If cryin brian would put half the effort into finding a job as he does
> bashing his wife's ex, he'd be working by now......but it shouldn't be long
> before he'll be whining about the imputed income imposed on him. <snicker>

Paul, I have a job, a damn good one, and have been at it for nearly
two years now, just so you know. Also, for your information, I have
worked in the same field for more than 14 years. You would have
already known that if you'd read all the posts.

Not that I feel the need to justify anything to a troll who's a
failure at marriage.

You're right behind Mel Gamble as the most useless poster in this
group. At least Whiteside has the intelligence to read before
posting.

Now get that red mark off your face where I just bitch-slapped your
ass.

[Brian]

"Paul Fritz" > wrote:
> If cryin brian would put half the effort into finding a job as he does
> bashing his wife's ex, he'd be working by now......but it shouldn't be long
> before he'll be whining about the imputed income imposed on him. <snicker>

Paul, I have a job, a damn good one, and have been at it for nearly
two years now, just so you know. Also, for your information, I have
worked in the same field for more than 14 years. You would have
already known that if you'd read all the posts.

Not that I feel the need to justify anything to a troll who's a
failure at marriage.

You're right behind Mel Gamble as the most useless poster in this
group. At least Whiteside has the intelligence to read before
posting.

Now get that red mark off your face where I just bitch-slapped your
ass.

[Bob Whiteside]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Giving back anything I got would be insane.
>
> Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
> Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

Hey, Brian, the judge made it very clear the people you are referring to are
my "former family." In the judge's mind I was being removed from the family
unit and she made it very clear to me that was what was going on. Don't you
see a problem with that kind of thinking? Maybe that's what Ronaldo was
told too. Why would a father want to voluntarily pay money to financially
support a "former family?"

>
> > Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And
believe
> > me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge
property
> > settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me
out
> > of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with
her
> > on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford
to
> > keep the house, etc.
>
> The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
> cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
> the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
> she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
> prevent it?

Your good, but not that good. She told me the only reason she married me
was because I was the only guy she dated her father liked. After her dad
died she no longer needed to please him, so she went looking for a man she
really felt comfortable being with. She decided she liked blue collar
workers instead of management types. According to her they are less focused
on their careers and when you can get white collar CS/SS but live with blue
collar types it's the best of both worlds. So my problem was I worked hard
and was successful and was forced to pay for her decision to make a
lifestyle change.

>
> > > Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
> >
> > Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.
>
> Already did. If I'm supposed to be understanding to 'Naldo Deadbeat,
> why can't you apply some of that philosophy to your own situation?
> Pot. Kettle. Black.

I don't give a rats-ass what you think about Ronaldo, and I think you will
be hard pressed to show I have ever said anything about how you should treat
him.

If anything, my advise would have been to get out of the middle of all
disputes between your current wife and her ex-spouse and let them work it
out. When you got married the prior relationship issues were part of the
package. You need to accept that.

[Bob Whiteside]

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > Giving back anything I got would be insane.
>
> Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
> Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

Hey, Brian, the judge made it very clear the people you are referring to are
my "former family." In the judge's mind I was being removed from the family
unit and she made it very clear to me that was what was going on. Don't you
see a problem with that kind of thinking? Maybe that's what Ronaldo was
told too. Why would a father want to voluntarily pay money to financially
support a "former family?"

>
> > Thanks for telling me what my motivations and intentions are. And
believe
> > me, I never got one over on my ex. She got a sweet deal - a huge
property
> > settlement, the house, the children, CS, SS, all attorney fees paid, me
out
> > of her life so she could do her affair out in the open, guys living with
her
> > on the lamb while I paid high CS and spousal support so she could afford
to
> > keep the house, etc.
>
> The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
> cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
> the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
> she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
> prevent it?

Your good, but not that good. She told me the only reason she married me
was because I was the only guy she dated her father liked. After her dad
died she no longer needed to please him, so she went looking for a man she
really felt comfortable being with. She decided she liked blue collar
workers instead of management types. According to her they are less focused
on their careers and when you can get white collar CS/SS but live with blue
collar types it's the best of both worlds. So my problem was I worked hard
and was successful and was forced to pay for her decision to make a
lifestyle change.

>
> > > Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
> >
> > Prove it. Just saying it doesn't make it so.
>
> Already did. If I'm supposed to be understanding to 'Naldo Deadbeat,
> why can't you apply some of that philosophy to your own situation?
> Pot. Kettle. Black.

I don't give a rats-ass what you think about Ronaldo, and I think you will
be hard pressed to show I have ever said anything about how you should treat
him.

If anything, my advise would have been to get out of the middle of all
disputes between your current wife and her ex-spouse and let them work it
out. When you got married the prior relationship issues were part of the
package. You need to accept that.

[teachrmama]

> wrote in message
...
> (teachrmama) wrote:
> "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> are connected."
>
> ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> dealing with his ex.

It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at all.
That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think that
giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they don't
mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what they
want?

>
> Seems to me that Bob said he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter
> when the time is right.
>
> ---Is doing that worth keeping a conflict going with his ex? Just get
> rid of it if it's causing trouble.

IT isn't causing trouble, Brian. Jewelry is incapable of that. If there is
any trouble here, then some PERSON is causing it.

>
> Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants
> it is hypocritical?
>
> ---At the expense of familial harmony, yes. And Bob and his ex are just
> as much family as Deadbeat 'Naldo and my wife are.

Well, now, there's a statement, Brian! Fact is, you and 'Naldo aer NOT
family. Your wife and 'Naldo share a child, but they are not family,
either. They simply have a common interest--their daughter. And if one
person perpetually getting their way at the expense of the other is what you
consider harmony, then I'll have to disagree with you. There can only be
harmony if all involved agree not to create discord.
>

[teachrmama]

> wrote in message
...
> (teachrmama) wrote:
> "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> are connected."
>
> ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> dealing with his ex.

It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at all.
That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think that
giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they don't
mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what they
want?

>
> Seems to me that Bob said he wants to give the jewelry to his daughter
> when the time is right.
>
> ---Is doing that worth keeping a conflict going with his ex? Just get
> rid of it if it's causing trouble.

IT isn't causing trouble, Brian. Jewelry is incapable of that. If there is
any trouble here, then some PERSON is causing it.

>
> Keeping your own property in spite of the fact that someone else wants
> it is hypocritical?
>
> ---At the expense of familial harmony, yes. And Bob and his ex are just
> as much family as Deadbeat 'Naldo and my wife are.

Well, now, there's a statement, Brian! Fact is, you and 'Naldo aer NOT
family. Your wife and 'Naldo share a child, but they are not family,
either. They simply have a common interest--their daughter. And if one
person perpetually getting their way at the expense of the other is what you
consider harmony, then I'll have to disagree with you. There can only be
harmony if all involved agree not to create discord.
>

[Bob Whiteside]

"teachrmama" > wrote in message
...
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> > are connected."
> >
> > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > dealing with his ex.
>
> It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at
all.
> That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think
that
> giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they don't
> mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
> encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what
they
> want?

You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little to
far.

Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college, I
volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find their
way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove back
home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
had a great time.

Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with Ronaldo?

[Bob Whiteside]

"teachrmama" > wrote in message
...
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the two
> > are connected."
> >
> > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > dealing with his ex.
>
> It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at
all.
> That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think
that
> giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they don't
> mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
> encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what
they
> want?

You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little to
far.

Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college, I
volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find their
way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove back
home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
had a great time.

Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with Ronaldo?

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
.net...
>
> "teachrmama" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the
two
> > > are connected."
> > >
> > > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > > dealing with his ex.
> >
> > It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at
> all.
> > That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think
> that
> > giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they
don't
> > mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
> > encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what
> they
> > want?
>
> You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
> good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little
to
> far.
>
> Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college,
I
> volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
their
> way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
> went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
back
> home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
> had a great time.
>
> Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
Ronaldo?
==
Hardly--since he apparently has his guards hiding under the bushes at the
border just waiting to pounce.
==
==
>
>

[gini52]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message
.net...
>
> "teachrmama" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > (teachrmama) wrote:
> > > "Surely you're not saying that because old Ronaldo abandoned his 2
> > > children, Bob should give his jewelry to his ex? I don't see how the
two
> > > are connected."
> > >
> > > ---My point is, if Bob is going to preach compromise and understanding
> > > where it concerns Deadbeat 'Naldo, then maybe he should try that in
> > > dealing with his ex.
> >
> > It's my impression that he doesn't have to deal with his ex any more at
> all.
> > That he asked the question just to get input from others. Do you think
> that
> > giving in to someone who has proved on numerous occasions that they
don't
> > mind screwing you under to get what they want is compromise? Or is it
> > encouraging them to continue to attempt to screw you under to get what
> they
> > want?
>
> You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
> good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little
to
> far.
>
> Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college,
I
> volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
their
> way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
> went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
back
> home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
> had a great time.
>
> Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
Ronaldo?
==
Hardly--since he apparently has his guards hiding under the bushes at the
border just waiting to pounce.
==
==
>
>

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
> good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little to
> far.

All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
commendable.

> Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college, I
> volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find their
> way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
> went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove back
> home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
> had a great time.
>
> Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with Ronaldo?

He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:

"I grew to despise him while we were married, and divorce sure hasn't
changed my mind. Want a couple of examples? When our daughter was just
learning to talk, he taught her to say 'Mamae e porca.' That's
Portuguese for 'Mommy's a pig.'"

"One day when our daughter was taking a nap (as a baby--we split when
she was 18 months) we peeked in on her and I just looked at her and
whispered 'Isn't she beautiful?' He gave me a hateful look and snorted
and said, 'She gets that from ME--do you think she gets that from YOU,
or YOUR mother? Ha.'"

"One day before she was born we decided to take a day trip to a point
of interest several hours away. He told me to sweep up the cat litter
on the garage floor. I was on my way to do it when he started yelling
at me to hurry up, let's go. So I figured it'd be there when I got
home, and I went and got in the car. He then asked me if I'd swept it,
and when I said No, he did not speak to me for the rest of the day. We
still took the trip, riding in the car for hours, and he would not
speak! Over that!"

"[W]henever my daughter was with him, he took the opportunity to run
me down. I know because my daughter would come home and repeat things
to me."

"One day during the marriage, some cops came to my door--plain
clothes. It seems that coincidentally, two different women in the
community had become afraid of Ron. He seemed to show up at their
places of business too often, staring at them and hanging around. One,
who was seventeen, went with her parents to report him to the cops.
One cop said, 'Hey, that's the same guy who's been bothering MY wife.'
So they both got a restraining order. Later, after he was married [a
second time], he stopped and tried to strike up a conversation with a
female on the street, who turned out to be the mature-looking
13-yr-old granddaughter of a local judge!"

So, no, I don't care to associate with asshole deadbeat scum like
'Naldo. And believe me, around me is the last place he'll ever want
to be.

[Brian]

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am on
> good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a little to
> far.

All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
commendable.

> Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from college, I
> volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find their
> way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on campus,
> went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove back
> home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check, and
> had a great time.
>
> Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with Ronaldo?

He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:

"I grew to despise him while we were married, and divorce sure hasn't
changed my mind. Want a couple of examples? When our daughter was just
learning to talk, he taught her to say 'Mamae e porca.' That's
Portuguese for 'Mommy's a pig.'"

"One day when our daughter was taking a nap (as a baby--we split when
she was 18 months) we peeked in on her and I just looked at her and
whispered 'Isn't she beautiful?' He gave me a hateful look and snorted
and said, 'She gets that from ME--do you think she gets that from YOU,
or YOUR mother? Ha.'"

"One day before she was born we decided to take a day trip to a point
of interest several hours away. He told me to sweep up the cat litter
on the garage floor. I was on my way to do it when he started yelling
at me to hurry up, let's go. So I figured it'd be there when I got
home, and I went and got in the car. He then asked me if I'd swept it,
and when I said No, he did not speak to me for the rest of the day. We
still took the trip, riding in the car for hours, and he would not
speak! Over that!"

"[W]henever my daughter was with him, he took the opportunity to run
me down. I know because my daughter would come home and repeat things
to me."

"One day during the marriage, some cops came to my door--plain
clothes. It seems that coincidentally, two different women in the
community had become afraid of Ron. He seemed to show up at their
places of business too often, staring at them and hanging around. One,
who was seventeen, went with her parents to report him to the cops.
One cop said, 'Hey, that's the same guy who's been bothering MY wife.'
So they both got a restraining order. Later, after he was married [a
second time], he stopped and tried to strike up a conversation with a
female on the street, who turned out to be the mature-looking
13-yr-old granddaughter of a local judge!"

So, no, I don't care to associate with asshole deadbeat scum like
'Naldo. And believe me, around me is the last place he'll ever want
to be.

[Paul Fritz]

You forget the part where she said

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am
on
> > good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a
little to
> > far.
>
> All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
> decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
> commendable.
>
> > Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from
college, I
> > volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> > ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
their
> > way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on
campus,
> > went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
back
> > home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check,
and
> > had a great time.
> >
> > Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
Ronaldo?
>
> He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
> Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:
>
>

I did want to tell you this about Brian,
though. He will NOT be adopting my daughter, nor would he even want to,
since he doesn't like her and never did. They have basically no
relationship and avoid each other whenever possible. So don't let him
fool you there. He's also stretching the truth about "we NEVER discuss
this in the child's presence." Yeah, right. He leaves folders and things
lying around labeled "Deadbeat Daddy file" or something like that. And
to the person who made the comment about "would-be Sir Galahads..." Yes,
I would be a lot happier person if Brian said, "Who needs him anyway,
I'll bust my butt if necessary to provide for all of us." But as you see
that is not exactly his approach to the situation. I also wish he would
just let me worry about this whole situation, and quit trying to make my
decisions for me. HI HONEY, hope you're reading this. Why don't you stay
away from this board, and find one that gives you some benefit--how
about one on being a great, supportive, loving, caring stepfather?

[Paul Fritz]

You forget the part where she said

"Brian" > wrote in message
om...
> "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am
on
> > good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a
little to
> > far.
>
> All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
> decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
> commendable.
>
> > Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from
college, I
> > volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the graduation
> > ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
their
> > way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on
campus,
> > went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
back
> > home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check,
and
> > had a great time.
> >
> > Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
Ronaldo?
>
> He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
> Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:
>
>

I did want to tell you this about Brian,
though. He will NOT be adopting my daughter, nor would he even want to,
since he doesn't like her and never did. They have basically no
relationship and avoid each other whenever possible. So don't let him
fool you there. He's also stretching the truth about "we NEVER discuss
this in the child's presence." Yeah, right. He leaves folders and things
lying around labeled "Deadbeat Daddy file" or something like that. And
to the person who made the comment about "would-be Sir Galahads..." Yes,
I would be a lot happier person if Brian said, "Who needs him anyway,
I'll bust my butt if necessary to provide for all of us." But as you see
that is not exactly his approach to the situation. I also wish he would
just let me worry about this whole situation, and quit trying to make my
decisions for me. HI HONEY, hope you're reading this. Why don't you stay
away from this board, and find one that gives you some benefit--how
about one on being a great, supportive, loving, caring stepfather?

[gini52]

"Paul Fritz" > wrote in message
...
> You forget the part where she said
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am
> on
> > > good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a
> little to
> > > far.
> >
> > All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
> > decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
> > commendable.
> >
> > > Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from
> college, I
> > > volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the
graduation
> > > ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
> their
> > > way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on
> campus,
> > > went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
> back
> > > home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check,
> and
> > > had a great time.
> > >
> > > Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
> Ronaldo?
> >
> > He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
> > Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:
> >
> >
>
> I did want to tell you this about Brian,
> though. He will NOT be adopting my daughter, nor would he even want to,
> since he doesn't like her and never did. They have basically no
> relationship and avoid each other whenever possible. So don't let him
> fool you there. He's also stretching the truth about "we NEVER discuss
> this in the child's presence." Yeah, right. He leaves folders and things
> lying around labeled "Deadbeat Daddy file" or something like that. And
> to the person who made the comment about "would-be Sir Galahads..." Yes,
> I would be a lot happier person if Brian said, "Who needs him anyway,
> I'll bust my butt if necessary to provide for all of us." But as you see
> that is not exactly his approach to the situation. I also wish he would
> just let me worry about this whole situation, and quit trying to make my
> decisions for me. HI HONEY, hope you're reading this. Why don't you stay
> away from this board, and find one that gives you some benefit--how
> about one on being a great, supportive, loving, caring stepfather?
==
LOL--I do think Brian forgot about that part.
==
==
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[gini52]

"Paul Fritz" > wrote in message
...
> You forget the part where she said
>
> "Brian" > wrote in message
> om...
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote:
> > > You know what Brian doesn't get is how some of this stuff works. I am
> on
> > > good terms with my ex. Sometimes she just pushes the boundaries a
> little to
> > > far.
> >
> > All kidding aside, that is a good thing. I am sure both of you are
> > decent people and the fact that you two can get along in most cases is
> > commendable.
> >
> > > Believe it or not, this past June when my daughter graduated from
> college, I
> > > volunteered to drive my ex and my former mother-in-law to the
graduation
> > > ceremony that was over 100 miles from where we live and help them find
> their
> > > way around to all the events on time. We had a picnic together on
> campus,
> > > went to all the commencement ceremonies, took pictures together, drove
> back
> > > home, went out to dinner together in a party of six, split the check,
> and
> > > had a great time.
> > >
> > > Do you think Brian could do a full day of activities like that with
> Ronaldo?
> >
> > He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Ronaldo is not a "decent person."
> > Allow me to quote my spouse on this point:
> >
> >
>
> I did want to tell you this about Brian,
> though. He will NOT be adopting my daughter, nor would he even want to,
> since he doesn't like her and never did. They have basically no
> relationship and avoid each other whenever possible. So don't let him
> fool you there. He's also stretching the truth about "we NEVER discuss
> this in the child's presence." Yeah, right. He leaves folders and things
> lying around labeled "Deadbeat Daddy file" or something like that. And
> to the person who made the comment about "would-be Sir Galahads..." Yes,
> I would be a lot happier person if Brian said, "Who needs him anyway,
> I'll bust my butt if necessary to provide for all of us." But as you see
> that is not exactly his approach to the situation. I also wish he would
> just let me worry about this whole situation, and quit trying to make my
> decisions for me. HI HONEY, hope you're reading this. Why don't you stay
> away from this board, and find one that gives you some benefit--how
> about one on being a great, supportive, loving, caring stepfather?
==
LOL--I do think Brian forgot about that part.
==
==
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[Chris Owens]

wrote:
>
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.
>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.
>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.

Hello? It's BOB's property; his part of the divorce settlement.
He can keep it in a bank vault, scatter it down the street, give
it away, wear it; whatever he dang well pleases. He's under NO
obligation legal, or ethical, to share it with ANYONE. And,
given the behavior of his ex-wife at the time of the divorce;
there's a very real chance that, if he loaned her the jewelry,
he'd never see it again. Now, there's compromises I'd urge on
any person -- particularly when they relate to amicably raising
the children -- but, this isn't one of them.

Chris Owens




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[Chris Owens]

wrote:
>
> Just as I thought: When a father abandons two kids, we should turn the
> other cheek. When it's old Bob's jewelry, it's all about keeping his
> fists aroud it as tightly as he can.
>
> The real reason you keep that stuff is just so you can think you've got
> one over your ex.
>
> Bob = hypocrite, just like 99% of the others in this NG.
>
> By the way, nothing more from Ronaldo yet. But I'll keep you posted.
> Losers.

Hello? It's BOB's property; his part of the divorce settlement.
He can keep it in a bank vault, scatter it down the street, give
it away, wear it; whatever he dang well pleases. He's under NO
obligation legal, or ethical, to share it with ANYONE. And,
given the behavior of his ex-wife at the time of the divorce;
there's a very real chance that, if he loaned her the jewelry,
he'd never see it again. Now, there's compromises I'd urge on
any person -- particularly when they relate to amicably raising
the children -- but, this isn't one of them.

Chris Owens




-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
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-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

[Chris Owens]

Brian wrote:
>
> Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
> Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

Brian, why on God's Green Earth should Bob care whether or not he
has an amicable relationship with his ex? Why should HE be
making gestures of rapproachment when she's the one who raised
this issue?
>
> The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
> cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
> the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
> she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
> prevent it?

Brian, honorable people don't commit adultery. If you find your
marriage that intolerable, you file for divorce, GET the divorce,
and, then, you are free to do whatever you please. Short of
unlawful restraint, there's NOTHING one person can do to prevent
another from being an adulterer if that person is set on
cheating. It's a mind-set, Brian; the one that says you keep
your promises.

Chris Owens




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-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

[Chris Owens]

Brian wrote:
>
> Unless it's causing trouble in your relationship with your family.
> Then the question becomes, "Is the jewelry really worth all this?"

Brian, why on God's Green Earth should Bob care whether or not he
has an amicable relationship with his ex? Why should HE be
making gestures of rapproachment when she's the one who raised
this issue?
>
> The bigger question you should concern yourself with is, Why did she
> cheat? I doubt it was just because she was horny. I'm not justifying
> the cheating, as that is wrong on all levels, but there was a reason
> she did what she did. Ever think about what you might have done to
> prevent it?

Brian, honorable people don't commit adultery. If you find your
marriage that intolerable, you file for divorce, GET the divorce,
and, then, you are free to do whatever you please. Short of
unlawful restraint, there's NOTHING one person can do to prevent
another from being an adulterer if that person is set on
cheating. It's a mind-set, Brian; the one that says you keep
your promises.

Chris Owens




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