AT A LOST FOR WORDS... BUT HERE'S A FEW!! :)

[SunShyne]

I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

[~August]

Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

[~August]

Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

[~August]

> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> >
> > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.


> Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
> amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a
way
> out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
> of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
> credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to
not
> looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive
that
> money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.
>
> Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal
to
> you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out
of
> paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
> paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
> out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for
you
> to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when
trying
> to get things to work out fairly for him.
>
> ~August

[~August]

> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> >
> > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.


> Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
> amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a
way
> out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
> of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
> credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to
not
> looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive
that
> money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.
>
> Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal
to
> you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out
of
> paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
> paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
> out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for
you
> to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when
trying
> to get things to work out fairly for him.
>
> ~August

[The Dave©]

> SunShyne wrote:
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent.

How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
you chose to move the child so far away?

> He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.

He sent it to him, or you?

> We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.

You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.

If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
reasonable support the child) would be important, too.

> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
exactly why are you asking for it?

[The Dave©]

> SunShyne wrote:
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent.

How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
you chose to move the child so far away?

> He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.

He sent it to him, or you?

> We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.

You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.

If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
reasonable support the child) would be important, too.

> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
exactly why are you asking for it?

[The Dave©]

> SunShyne wrote:

Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
was one of them.

[The Dave©]

> SunShyne wrote:

Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
was one of them.

[Paul Fritz]

Let's see, you moved your child away from one of its parents before it was
born at a distance that no meaningful relationship could be established.
You had the sole and unilateral choice of whether to bring a child into the
world, and now you want child support from him.........greedy is not the
word for it.......selfish is the starting point. Why don't you take
responsibility for the sole and unilateral choices you made.

BTW, you are not lost, but you certainly have abused your son.

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

[Paul Fritz]

Let's see, you moved your child away from one of its parents before it was
born at a distance that no meaningful relationship could be established.
You had the sole and unilateral choice of whether to bring a child into the
world, and now you want child support from him.........greedy is not the
word for it.......selfish is the starting point. Why don't you take
responsibility for the sole and unilateral choices you made.

BTW, you are not lost, but you certainly have abused your son.

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

[SunShyne]

This is my first time on here...so I'm not sure who moonshyne is.

The Dave© > wrote in message >...
> > SunShyne wrote:
>
> Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
> she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
> was one of them.

[SunShyne]

This is my first time on here...so I'm not sure who moonshyne is.

The Dave© > wrote in message >...
> > SunShyne wrote:
>
> Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
> she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
> was one of them.

[SunShyne]

You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
going on.

The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
child support. It's just the law here.

The Dave© > wrote in message >...
> > SunShyne wrote:
> > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > non-existent.
>
> How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
> you chose to move the child so far away?
>
> > He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.
>
> He sent it to him, or you?
>
> > We are now approaching the
> > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
>
> You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
> he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
> Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
> double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.
>
> If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
> children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
> doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
> reasonable support the child) would be important, too.
>
> > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> >
> > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.
>
> Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
> exactly why are you asking for it?

[SunShyne]

You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
going on.

The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
child support. It's just the law here.

The Dave© > wrote in message >...
> > SunShyne wrote:
> > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > non-existent.
>
> How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
> you chose to move the child so far away?
>
> > He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.
>
> He sent it to him, or you?
>
> > We are now approaching the
> > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
>
> You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
> he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
> Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
> double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.
>
> If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
> children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
> doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
> reasonable support the child) would be important, too.
>
> > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> >
> > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.
>
> Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
> exactly why are you asking for it?

[Bob Whiteside]

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> going on.
>
> The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> child support. It's just the law here.

Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.

When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
support too.

The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
without your approval is just not the case.

[Bob Whiteside]

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> going on.
>
> The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> child support. It's just the law here.

Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.

When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
support too.

The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
without your approval is just not the case.

[Paul Fritz]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > This is a very good point. I'm sorry that I didnt go into depth
> > enough with the things I said. I moved away from GA only after the
> > father physically attacked me... I was dumb, really dumb and instead
> > of taking legal action, I ran. Dont get me wrong, he's not an abusive
> > man, that was the first and last time he raised his hand to me... but
> > I see now that it was the frustration and complications of my
> > pregnancy that caused him to react that way. I wish I could have been
> > mature enough to see that at that time. You're right.. it did come
> > down to being solely my choice of whether to bring this child into the
> > world or not, but I consulted with the father because it's not just my
> > child and he wanted to keep the child just as much as I did. But
> > thankyou so much for your response, this is exactly what I came here
> > for.
> ==
> I'm glad you came. I truly hope that rather than
> spending time and energy chasing child support, you will do all you can to
> encourage your
> son's father to be active in his life. Write him letters, send him
pictures.
> It is extremely difficult for boys to grow up without a father. As the
> mother of many boys,
> and grandmother to another boy, I can assure you that he really really
needs
> his father--much more
> than he needs a few dollars of child support. He wanted this child. If the
> pressure of money
> is off, perhaps you can encourage him to commit to fathering his son.
After
> that,
> he is much more likely to contribute financially. Best wishes to you all.
> ==
> ==

Couldn't say it any better ;-)


>
>

[Paul Fritz]

"gini52" > wrote in message
...
>
> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > This is a very good point. I'm sorry that I didnt go into depth
> > enough with the things I said. I moved away from GA only after the
> > father physically attacked me... I was dumb, really dumb and instead
> > of taking legal action, I ran. Dont get me wrong, he's not an abusive
> > man, that was the first and last time he raised his hand to me... but
> > I see now that it was the frustration and complications of my
> > pregnancy that caused him to react that way. I wish I could have been
> > mature enough to see that at that time. You're right.. it did come
> > down to being solely my choice of whether to bring this child into the
> > world or not, but I consulted with the father because it's not just my
> > child and he wanted to keep the child just as much as I did. But
> > thankyou so much for your response, this is exactly what I came here
> > for.
> ==
> I'm glad you came. I truly hope that rather than
> spending time and energy chasing child support, you will do all you can to
> encourage your
> son's father to be active in his life. Write him letters, send him
pictures.
> It is extremely difficult for boys to grow up without a father. As the
> mother of many boys,
> and grandmother to another boy, I can assure you that he really really
needs
> his father--much more
> than he needs a few dollars of child support. He wanted this child. If the
> pressure of money
> is off, perhaps you can encourage him to commit to fathering his son.
After
> that,
> he is much more likely to contribute financially. Best wishes to you all.
> ==
> ==

Couldn't say it any better ;-)


>
>

[SunShyne]

Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
feels a child deserves the support of both parents.

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message t>...
> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> > so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> > and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> > live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> > included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> > absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> > Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> > and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> > before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> > Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> > going on.
> >
> > The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> > son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> > put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> > automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> > dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> > assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> > child support. It's just the law here.
>
> Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
> understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.
>
> When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
> their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
> state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
> limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
> have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
> support too.
>
> The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
> by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
> the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
> provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
> related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
> only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
> way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
> child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
> without your approval is just not the case.

[SunShyne]

Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
feels a child deserves the support of both parents.

"Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message t>...
> "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> om...
> > You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> > so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> > and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> > live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> > included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> > absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> > Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> > and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> > before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> > Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> > going on.
> >
> > The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> > son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> > put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> > automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> > dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> > assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> > child support. It's just the law here.
>
> Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
> understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.
>
> When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
> their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
> state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
> limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
> have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
> support too.
>
> The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
> by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
> the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
> provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
> related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
> only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
> way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
> child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
> without your approval is just not the case.

[Bob Whiteside]

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
> enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
> question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
> father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
> paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
> indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
> cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
> caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
> police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
> honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
> From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
> it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
> didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
> petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
> support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
> feels a child deserves the support of both parents.

Let me be more direct. If you applied for Medicaid-only support the state
would have limited their actions to securing a medical support order for
your son. That order could be in the form of a Medicaid repayment award or
having the father provide medical insurance coverage, in lieu of Medicaid,
depending on his circumstance.

What is confusing is how you seem to be using public assistance terms
interchangeably. For instance above you stated "when a parent goes on
support." That statement indicates you went on TANF, food stamps, job
training, day care, or other forms of welfare far greater than getting
Medicaid for your son.

You are correct the first step is help the state establish paternity. The
reason is they have to complete that step before they can get an order
established. From a prior post it sounds like they tried to trick the
putative father into signing a Joint Declaration of Paternity by using some
fraudulent financial coercion. He refused and forced the more formal DNA
testing to be done. You are also correct they question about issues of
child and parent safety. The state is required to protect your safety by
not disclosing addresses and phone numbers that would allow the other parent
to make harassing contacts.

And finally the statement "this state feels a child deserves the support of
both parents" is inconsistent with welfare law. Any person receiving public
assistance is deemed to be unable to provide child support and their CS
obligation is waived during the time the parent receives public assistance.
The state may be telling you that, but that is not an accurate statement.

[Bob Whiteside]

"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
> enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
> question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
> father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
> paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
> indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
> cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
> caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
> police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
> honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
> From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
> it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
> didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
> petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
> support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
> feels a child deserves the support of both parents.

Let me be more direct. If you applied for Medicaid-only support the state
would have limited their actions to securing a medical support order for
your son. That order could be in the form of a Medicaid repayment award or
having the father provide medical insurance coverage, in lieu of Medicaid,
depending on his circumstance.

What is confusing is how you seem to be using public assistance terms
interchangeably. For instance above you stated "when a parent goes on
support." That statement indicates you went on TANF, food stamps, job
training, day care, or other forms of welfare far greater than getting
Medicaid for your son.

You are correct the first step is help the state establish paternity. The
reason is they have to complete that step before they can get an order
established. From a prior post it sounds like they tried to trick the
putative father into signing a Joint Declaration of Paternity by using some
fraudulent financial coercion. He refused and forced the more formal DNA
testing to be done. You are also correct they question about issues of
child and parent safety. The state is required to protect your safety by
not disclosing addresses and phone numbers that would allow the other parent
to make harassing contacts.

And finally the statement "this state feels a child deserves the support of
both parents" is inconsistent with welfare law. Any person receiving public
assistance is deemed to be unable to provide child support and their CS
obligation is waived during the time the parent receives public assistance.
The state may be telling you that, but that is not an accurate statement.

[SunShyne]

Kenneth,
I didnt say I feared for my child safety. The state informed me that
the only way I could refuse cooperation was if I feared for his
safety, which I didnt because it was only one isolated incident where
there was violence.


"Kenneth S." > wrote in message >...
> The following is a small point, but it's a significant one. The poster
> below says Michigan "feels a child deserves the support of both
> parents." That may be what state officials SAY. The truth is
> otherwise.
>
> Consider the following:
> (1) If governments think that children deserve the support of both
> parents, why don't they do more to preserve two-parent families? Why do
> they provide arrangements that amount to incentives for mother-initiated
> divorce or for illegitimacy?
> (2) If governments think that children deserve the support of both
> parents, why do they force fathers to pay money to mothers, and let the
> mothers spend the money any way they like?
>
> There are many other similar questions. The truth of the matter is
> that--as frequently happens--the interests of children are used to
> camouflage the real, unacknowledged, and much more sordid, motivation
> behind some government policy. "It's for the kids" is the battle cry of
> every special interest group and government bureaucracy that has some
> selfish interest that it can link, however tenuously, to children.
>
> In the CS example, "child support" isn't for children. As you can see
> when anyone proposes changes to CS or custody arrangements, the primary
> purpose is to enlarge the options available to mothers. CS is a subsidy
> for fatherless families. It's a way of making fathers pay for decisions
> that nearly always are made by mothers.
>
> Note how "SunShyne" shelters behind her child. She did what she did
> because, she says, she feared for her child's safety.
>
>
>
> SunShyne wrote:
> >
> > Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
> > enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
> > question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
> > father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
> > paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
> > indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
> > cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
> > caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
> > police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
> > honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
> > From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
> > it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
> > didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
> > petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
> > support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
> > feels a child deserves the support of both parents.
> >
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message t>...
> > > "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> > > om...
> > > > You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> > > > so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> > > > and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> > > > live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> > > > included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> > > > absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> > > > Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> > > > and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> > > > before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> > > > Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> > > > going on.
> > > >
> > > > The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> > > > son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> > > > put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> > > > automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> > > > dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> > > > assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> > > > child support. It's just the law here.
> > >
> > > Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
> > > understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.
> > >
> > > When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
> > > their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
> > > state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
> > > limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
> > > have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
> > > support too.
> > >
> > > The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
> > > by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
> > > the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
> > > provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
> > > related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
> > > only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
> > > way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
> > > child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
> > > without your approval is just not the case.

[SunShyne]

Kenneth,
I didnt say I feared for my child safety. The state informed me that
the only way I could refuse cooperation was if I feared for his
safety, which I didnt because it was only one isolated incident where
there was violence.


"Kenneth S." > wrote in message >...
> The following is a small point, but it's a significant one. The poster
> below says Michigan "feels a child deserves the support of both
> parents." That may be what state officials SAY. The truth is
> otherwise.
>
> Consider the following:
> (1) If governments think that children deserve the support of both
> parents, why don't they do more to preserve two-parent families? Why do
> they provide arrangements that amount to incentives for mother-initiated
> divorce or for illegitimacy?
> (2) If governments think that children deserve the support of both
> parents, why do they force fathers to pay money to mothers, and let the
> mothers spend the money any way they like?
>
> There are many other similar questions. The truth of the matter is
> that--as frequently happens--the interests of children are used to
> camouflage the real, unacknowledged, and much more sordid, motivation
> behind some government policy. "It's for the kids" is the battle cry of
> every special interest group and government bureaucracy that has some
> selfish interest that it can link, however tenuously, to children.
>
> In the CS example, "child support" isn't for children. As you can see
> when anyone proposes changes to CS or custody arrangements, the primary
> purpose is to enlarge the options available to mothers. CS is a subsidy
> for fatherless families. It's a way of making fathers pay for decisions
> that nearly always are made by mothers.
>
> Note how "SunShyne" shelters behind her child. She did what she did
> because, she says, she feared for her child's safety.
>
>
>
> SunShyne wrote:
> >
> > Let me see if I can make this a bit more clear about the state
> > enforcing child support. When a parent gets on support, the first
> > question the state has is "where is the other parent", in my case the
> > father didnt sign the birth certificate and never acknowledged
> > paternity, so the first action was to establish paternity... true
> > indeed they asked me to cooperate and the only way I could not
> > cooperate is if I feared for my childs safety... I informed the
> > caseworker only of the previous attack, but she said if there was no
> > police report it can not be used as valid reason not to cooperate and
> > honestly I didnt fear my childs safety over that isolated incident.
> > From there on they had my cooperation because I needed the support and
> > it would be cut off if I didnt. I apologize if I wasnt clear...I
> > didnt just sit back and let it happen, I had to cooperate and file the
> > petition. In general, michigan automatically does go after child
> > support once the father is determined due to the fact that this state
> > feels a child deserves the support of both parents.
> >
> > "Bob Whiteside" > wrote in message t>...
> > > "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> > > om...
> > > > You're right.. I guess I cant expect too much considering that I moved
> > > > so far away. I was immature as I stated before and instead of staying
> > > > and following legal actions, I ran. That's something I will have to
> > > > live with, sadly. The 1800 he sent was to me for our son. This
> > > > included the cost of our sons birth and some clothing. You are
> > > > absolutely right... I believe he should get credit for what he sent.
> > > > Like I previously said, I talked with the office after I posted this
> > > > and they informed me that he was told wrong. If I would have known
> > > > before all this, I could have confirmed with the court what he paid.
> > > > Unfortunately there was no communication during the time this was
> > > > going on.
> > > >
> > > > The money issue... I actually didnt file for child support. When my
> > > > son was first born, I went through some financial difficulties so I
> > > > put my son on medicaid... if someone goes on assitance, the state
> > > > automatically seeks out the father and petitions for child support. I
> > > > dont have any control over that. Even if I would have never needed
> > > > assistance, once he was acknowledged as the father he would be put on
> > > > child support. It's just the law here.
> > >
> > > Either the child support staff has "lied" to you too, or you just don't
> > > understand that you authorized the state to file for child support.
> > >
> > > When a parent places their child on Medicaid they are required to assign
> > > their right to medical support over to the state and cooperate with the
> > > state regarding establishing paternity. On Medicaid only cases the states
> > > limit their participation to medical support reimbursement only. You must
> > > have signed something to expand the state's authority to go after child
> > > support too.
> > >
> > > The states intentionally (IMO) confuse parents applying for medical support
> > > by stating their service in a way that only people with some knowledge of
> > > the system understand. The state most likely told you they were going to
> > > provide full IV-D services (medical and child support, plus paternity, and
> > > related enforcement) unless you opted to have them go after medical support
> > > only. If you signed some document that stated the services in a backhanded
> > > way like stated above, you authorized an expansion of your case to include
> > > child support. Claiming it is automatic under the law and being done
> > > without your approval is just not the case.

[The Beast]

--
The natural liberty of man is to be free from any superior power on earth,
and not to be under the will or legislative authority of man,
but only to have the law of nature for his rule.
-Samuel Adams


"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> This is a very good point. I'm sorry that I didnt go into depth
> enough with the things I said. I moved away from GA only after the
> father physically attacked me... I was dumb, really dumb and instead
> of taking legal action, I ran. Dont get me wrong, he's not an abusive
> man, that was the first and last time he raised his hand to me... but
> I see now that it was the frustration and complications of my
> pregnancy that caused him to react that way. I wish I could have been
> mature enough to see that at that time. You're right.. it did come
> down to being solely my choice of whether to bring this child into the
> world or not, but I consulted with the father because it's not just my
> child and he wanted to keep the child just as much as I did. But
> thankyou so much for your response, this is exactly what I came here
> for.
>
> "Paul Fritz" > wrote in message
>...
> > Let's see, you moved your child away from one of its parents before it
was
> > born at a distance that no meaningful relationship could be established.
> > You had the sole and unilateral choice of whether to bring a child into
the
> > world, and now you want child support from him.........greedy is not the
> > word for it.......selfish is the starting point. Why don't you take
> > responsibility for the sole and unilateral choices you made.
> >
> > BTW, you are not lost, but you certainly have abused your son.
> >
> > "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> > om...
> > > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > > non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> > > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> > > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> > >
> > > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.
....the plot thickens...How will it twist next post?!? Tune in to find out!

[The Beast]

--
The natural liberty of man is to be free from any superior power on earth,
and not to be under the will or legislative authority of man,
but only to have the law of nature for his rule.
-Samuel Adams


"SunShyne" > wrote in message
om...
> This is a very good point. I'm sorry that I didnt go into depth
> enough with the things I said. I moved away from GA only after the
> father physically attacked me... I was dumb, really dumb and instead
> of taking legal action, I ran. Dont get me wrong, he's not an abusive
> man, that was the first and last time he raised his hand to me... but
> I see now that it was the frustration and complications of my
> pregnancy that caused him to react that way. I wish I could have been
> mature enough to see that at that time. You're right.. it did come
> down to being solely my choice of whether to bring this child into the
> world or not, but I consulted with the father because it's not just my
> child and he wanted to keep the child just as much as I did. But
> thankyou so much for your response, this is exactly what I came here
> for.
>
> "Paul Fritz" > wrote in message
>...
> > Let's see, you moved your child away from one of its parents before it
was
> > born at a distance that no meaningful relationship could be established.
> > You had the sole and unilateral choice of whether to bring a child into
the
> > world, and now you want child support from him.........greedy is not the
> > word for it.......selfish is the starting point. Why don't you take
> > responsibility for the sole and unilateral choices you made.
> >
> > BTW, you are not lost, but you certainly have abused your son.
> >
> > "SunShyne" > wrote in message
> > om...
> > > I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> > > and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> > > back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> > > relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> > > the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> > > non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> > > of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> > > end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> > > and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> > > assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> > > the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> > > should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> > > test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> > > from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> > > of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> > > Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
> > >
> > > Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> > > money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> > > me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> > > last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> > > and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.
....the plot thickens...How will it twist next post?!? Tune in to find out!

[Chris Owens]

SunShyne wrote:
>
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

OK, the relationship didn't work; I can accept that. However,
you're hardly in a position to complain about the man not seeing
his child when you moved thousands of miles away from him! BTW,
if you don't need the money, why in God's green earth are you
exercised about when, or how much, the man pays? Why don't you
encourage the man to voluntarily support his son, and spend some
of that money paying for the boy to visit him, or vice-versa so
that they can establish a solid relationship?

Chris Owens


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[Chris Owens]

SunShyne wrote:
>
> I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
> and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
> back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
> relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
> the second year of his life and the father has been almost
> non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
> of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
> end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
> and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
> assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
> the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
> should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
> test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
> from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
> of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
> Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!
>
> Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
> money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
> me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
> last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
> and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

OK, the relationship didn't work; I can accept that. However,
you're hardly in a position to complain about the man not seeing
his child when you moved thousands of miles away from him! BTW,
if you don't need the money, why in God's green earth are you
exercised about when, or how much, the man pays? Why don't you
encourage the man to voluntarily support his son, and spend some
of that money paying for the boy to visit him, or vice-versa so
that they can establish a solid relationship?

Chris Owens


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----