Yikes!

[Indyguy1]

I got a call from a friend whose son is living a real nightmare with an old
girlfriend. Maybe someone can give me some ideas on what this poor guy can do.
Here's the scenario:

Child born 10 years ago, out of wedlock. BM never pursed CS or paternity until
a few years ago. Of course the arrears were huge but the BM agreed to a 20K
settlement and so he payed her and the arrears were legally erased through a
court order. That was the simple part.

Fast forward to earlier this year. BM asked my friend's son to pay her upfront
a full years worth of CS (@ $150 a week). She was moving back to the area and
needed the money for the move. He agreed. BUT didn't do this through the courts
and didn't have her sign anything stating he was paying her a full year up
front. Now all of a sudden she is broke and wants him to start paying CS for
the time he already prepaid her and claims she will stop taking CS when the
child turns 17 instead of 18. He said no way. The BM in turn told him that if
he didn't start paying again she will take him to court and because the court
didn't approve his paying her up front that he will have to pay and then she
will remove the offer for him to stop paying at 17. Can she get away with this?
The guy paid her the years worth of CS via a personal check so there is a
financial record that he paid the amount, but now he is afraid that since there
wasn't a court approved order for this the judge won't consider the $7800 as
payment in full for the next year of CS. He feels he is paid up til June of
2004, but will a judge see things the same way?

On his behalf I appreciate any advice anyone has to offer. She also told him if
he doesn't want to start paying now she would accept $4000 to get her through
the holidays and then he could wait until June start CS again. I told him to
agree to NOTHING and I'd ask here before he starts throwing money away on a
lawyer. This is all in the state of Illinois, county of Cook.

MrsIndyguy

[Gini]

"Indyguy1" > wrote in message
...
> I got a call from a friend whose son is living a real nightmare with an
old
> girlfriend. Maybe someone can give me some ideas on what this poor guy can
do.
> Here's the scenario:
>
> Child born 10 years ago, out of wedlock. BM never pursed CS or paternity
until
> a few years ago. Of course the arrears were huge but the BM agreed to a
20K
> settlement and so he payed her and the arrears were legally erased through
a
> court order. That was the simple part.
>
> Fast forward to earlier this year. BM asked my friend's son to pay her
upfront
> a full years worth of CS (@ $150 a week). She was moving back to the area
and
> needed the money for the move. He agreed. BUT didn't do this through the
courts
> and didn't have her sign anything stating he was paying her a full year up
> front. Now all of a sudden she is broke and wants him to start paying CS
for
> the time he already prepaid her and claims she will stop taking CS when
the
> child turns 17 instead of 18. He said no way. The BM in turn told him that
if
> he didn't start paying again she will take him to court and because the
court
> didn't approve his paying her up front that he will have to pay and then
she
> will remove the offer for him to stop paying at 17. Can she get away with
this?
> The guy paid her the years worth of CS via a personal check so there is a
> financial record that he paid the amount, but now he is afraid that since
there
> wasn't a court approved order for this the judge won't consider the $7800
as
> payment in full for the next year of CS. He feels he is paid up til June
of
> 2004, but will a judge see things the same way?
==
Typically, payments like this are considered gifts not child support.
Agreements made outside of court are
invalid without a judge's signature. We (my husband) lost 7,000. this way
even thought the money was paid via
the divorce decree, on time, every payday *and* we had/have receipts. If
these types of payments are not specifically
addressed in the state's statutes, the judge is given discretion on how to
handle it. Too bad the dad doesn't have
audio taping of the conversations. Under NO circumstances, should he give
her any more money until the judge orders it.
==
>
> On his behalf I appreciate any advice anyone has to offer. She also told
him if
> he doesn't want to start paying now she would accept $4000 to get her
through
> the holidays and then he could wait until June start CS again.
==
I'm sure she would :-). He really needs to get leverage somehow. Maybe he
can
file for a custody/visitation modification. Is she adhering to court-ordered
visitation,
if any?
==
==

I told him to
> agree to NOTHING and I'd ask here before he starts throwing money away on
a
> lawyer. This is all in the state of Illinois, county of Cook.
>
> MrsIndyguy

[Indyguy1]

Gini wrote:

<snip to>

>I'm sure she would :-). He really needs to get leverage somehow. Maybe he
>can
>file for a custody/visitation modification. Is she adhering to court-ordered
>visitation,
>if any?

He was given one day a week for a duration of not less than 4 hours that is to
be supervised by either the BM or her mother. I'm told the BM has cooperated
but the dad is feeling like he is being treated like a sex offender and has
decided he doesn't want the supervised visits. I did suggest that he tells her
he's going to go back to court to get standard visitation, to see if that get's
her to back off on the money demands. His mom told me she doubts that would fly
as her son owns a bar and is not in the position to have the child EOW.

So I take it from what you have been through and what you have knowledge of
this little twit CAN get away with this? Gosh, I just don't know how to break
this to his mom. :(

Thanks for your help and suggestions, Gini.:)

Mrs Indyguy

[Gini]

"Indyguy1" > wrote in message
...
> Gini wrote:
>
> <snip to>
>
> >I'm sure she would :-). He really needs to get leverage somehow. Maybe he
> >can
> >file for a custody/visitation modification. Is she adhering to
court-ordered
> >visitation,
> >if any?
>
> He was given one day a week for a duration of not less than 4 hours that
is to
> be supervised by either the BM or her mother. I'm told the BM has
cooperated
> but the dad is feeling like he is being treated like a sex offender and
has
> decided he doesn't want the supervised visits. I did suggest that he tells
her
> he's going to go back to court to get standard visitation, to see if that
get's
> her to back off on the money demands. His mom told me she doubts that
would fly
> as her son owns a bar and is not in the position to have the child EOW.
>
> So I take it from what you have been through and what you have knowledge
of
> this little twit CAN get away with this? Gosh, I just don't know how to
break
> this to his mom. :(
==
Unfortunately, this is one of the most outrageous family court scams against
dads. And it is a scam--
blatent court sanctioned theft. Sorry. I sure wish some NCP would have the
resources to get one of these
cases to federal appeals court. It's so shocking that an NCP can get hit
with arrears when he has proof of the payment.
One thing I **strongly** urge is that if he has a hearing over this, he
should absolutely, positively *have the hearing recorded.* I firmly believe
that if a judge knows he/she is being recorded, the outcome could be very
different. Judges know that a defendant has a snowball's chance in hell of
getting a ruling overturned without a record of the hearing. With it, the
NCP has a viable shot. Maybe he'll get a father-friendly judge. As for the
increased visitation, sometimes
just the threat of a custody modification is enough to prompt a parasitic CP
to get a grip.
==
>
> Thanks for your help and suggestions, Gini.:)
==
You're welcome :-)
==
==
>
> Mrs Indyguy