Dazed and confused

[MrDonut]

I have recently gotten into a situation that I hope
this group may be able to help with.

A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I have
not had any contact with her for almost ten years.
There is a minor child and support issues here. My
support payments were direct deposited to an unknown
account. When I left my job, I was unable to find out
where to send the money. Contacting her family only
gave me messages that she did not want to speak to me
and they would not tell me where she was. I was never
given an opportunity to exercise my parental rights. I
have not been able to locate her, and she has made no
attempt to contact me until now.

So, I receive a letter with a document for me to sign
consent to adopt papers which of course terminate all
of my parental privileges. There is also a letter
enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of back
support plus interest. She is located in PA. I told
her that if we could have a consensual agreement
written up between me relieving me of the back support
and future obligation, then I would sign the form.
This is really what I think she wants. The form she
sent me did not specifically state that there would be
any relief from past obligations and again asked me to
sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers. I
returned the document to her, a new and amended version
that includes all past and present. She called me a
few days later upset telling me that it doesn't matter
in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to adopt
papers is at some point in the future she will come
after me for back support and I will have no recourse
as an individual.

Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures there
are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am confused
about this and am afraid that I am going to eliminate
my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount of
money. Any thoughts from the group would be
appreciated.

[Gini]

"MrDonut" > wrote in message
...
> I have recently gotten into a situation that I hope
> this group may be able to help with.
>
> A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I have
> not had any contact with her for almost ten years.
> There is a minor child and support issues here. My
> support payments were direct deposited to an unknown
> account. When I left my job, I was unable to find out
> where to send the money. Contacting her family only
> gave me messages that she did not want to speak to me
> and they would not tell me where she was. I was never
> given an opportunity to exercise my parental rights. I
> have not been able to locate her, and she has made no
> attempt to contact me until now.
>
> So, I receive a letter with a document for me to sign
> consent to adopt papers which of course terminate all
> of my parental privileges. There is also a letter
> enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of back
> support plus interest. She is located in PA. I told
> her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> written up between me relieving me of the back support
> and future obligation, then I would sign the form.
> This is really what I think she wants. The form she
> sent me did not specifically state that there would be
> any relief from past obligations and again asked me to
> sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers. I
> returned the document to her, a new and amended version
> that includes all past and present. She called me a
> few days later upset telling me that it doesn't matter
> in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to adopt
> papers is at some point in the future she will come
> after me for back support and I will have no recourse
> as an individual.
>
> Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures there
> are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am confused
> about this and am afraid that I am going to eliminate
> my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount of
> money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> appreciated.
===
You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just anybody).
===
>
>

[Gini]

"MrDonut" > wrote in message
...
> I have recently gotten into a situation that I hope
> this group may be able to help with.
>
> A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I have
> not had any contact with her for almost ten years.
> There is a minor child and support issues here. My
> support payments were direct deposited to an unknown
> account. When I left my job, I was unable to find out
> where to send the money. Contacting her family only
> gave me messages that she did not want to speak to me
> and they would not tell me where she was. I was never
> given an opportunity to exercise my parental rights. I
> have not been able to locate her, and she has made no
> attempt to contact me until now.
>
> So, I receive a letter with a document for me to sign
> consent to adopt papers which of course terminate all
> of my parental privileges. There is also a letter
> enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of back
> support plus interest. She is located in PA. I told
> her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> written up between me relieving me of the back support
> and future obligation, then I would sign the form.
> This is really what I think she wants. The form she
> sent me did not specifically state that there would be
> any relief from past obligations and again asked me to
> sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers. I
> returned the document to her, a new and amended version
> that includes all past and present. She called me a
> few days later upset telling me that it doesn't matter
> in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to adopt
> papers is at some point in the future she will come
> after me for back support and I will have no recourse
> as an individual.
>
> Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures there
> are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am confused
> about this and am afraid that I am going to eliminate
> my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount of
> money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> appreciated.
===
You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just anybody).
===
>
>

[Mike Cook]

"Gini" > wrote in message
...
>
> "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I have recently gotten into a situation that I hope
> > this group may be able to help with.
> >
> > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I have
> > not had any contact with her for almost ten years.
> > There is a minor child and support issues here. My
> > support payments were direct deposited to an unknown
> > account. When I left my job, I was unable to find out
> > where to send the money. Contacting her family only
> > gave me messages that she did not want to speak to me
> > and they would not tell me where she was. I was never
> > given an opportunity to exercise my parental rights. I
> > have not been able to locate her, and she has made no
> > attempt to contact me until now.
> >
> > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to sign
> > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate all
> > of my parental privileges. There is also a letter
> > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of back
> > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I told
> > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > written up between me relieving me of the back support
> > and future obligation, then I would sign the form.
> > This is really what I think she wants. The form she
> > sent me did not specifically state that there would be
> > any relief from past obligations and again asked me to
> > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers. I
> > returned the document to her, a new and amended version
> > that includes all past and present. She called me a
> > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't matter
> > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to adopt
> > papers is at some point in the future she will come
> > after me for back support and I will have no recourse
> > as an individual.
> >
> > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures there
> > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am confused
> > about this and am afraid that I am going to eliminate
> > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount of
> > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > appreciated.
> ===
> You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just anybody).
> ===
> >

Attorney
Attorney
Attorney

[Mike Cook]

"Gini" > wrote in message
...
>
> "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I have recently gotten into a situation that I hope
> > this group may be able to help with.
> >
> > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I have
> > not had any contact with her for almost ten years.
> > There is a minor child and support issues here. My
> > support payments were direct deposited to an unknown
> > account. When I left my job, I was unable to find out
> > where to send the money. Contacting her family only
> > gave me messages that she did not want to speak to me
> > and they would not tell me where she was. I was never
> > given an opportunity to exercise my parental rights. I
> > have not been able to locate her, and she has made no
> > attempt to contact me until now.
> >
> > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to sign
> > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate all
> > of my parental privileges. There is also a letter
> > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of back
> > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I told
> > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > written up between me relieving me of the back support
> > and future obligation, then I would sign the form.
> > This is really what I think she wants. The form she
> > sent me did not specifically state that there would be
> > any relief from past obligations and again asked me to
> > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers. I
> > returned the document to her, a new and amended version
> > that includes all past and present. She called me a
> > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't matter
> > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to adopt
> > papers is at some point in the future she will come
> > after me for back support and I will have no recourse
> > as an individual.
> >
> > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures there
> > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am confused
> > about this and am afraid that I am going to eliminate
> > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount of
> > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > appreciated.
> ===
> You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just anybody).
> ===
> >

Attorney
Attorney
Attorney

[MrDonut]

"Mike Cook" > wrote in message
...
> "Gini" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > I have recently gotten into a situation that I
hope
> > > this group may be able to help with.
> > >
> > > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I
have
> > > not had any contact with her for almost ten
years.
> > > There is a minor child and support issues here.
My
> > > support payments were direct deposited to an
unknown
> > > account. When I left my job, I was unable to
find out
> > > where to send the money. Contacting her family
only
> > > gave me messages that she did not want to speak
to me
> > > and they would not tell me where she was. I was
never
> > > given an opportunity to exercise my parental
rights. I
> > > have not been able to locate her, and she has
made no
> > > attempt to contact me until now.
> > >
> > > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to
sign
> > > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate
all
> > > of my parental privileges. There is also a
letter
> > > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of
back
> > > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I
told
> > > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > > written up between me relieving me of the back
support
> > > and future obligation, then I would sign the
form.
> > > This is really what I think she wants. The form
she
> > > sent me did not specifically state that there
would be
> > > any relief from past obligations and again asked
me to
> > > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers.
I
> > > returned the document to her, a new and amended
version
> > > that includes all past and present. She called
me a
> > > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't
matter
> > > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to
adopt
> > > papers is at some point in the future she will
come
> > > after me for back support and I will have no
recourse
> > > as an individual.
> > >
> > > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures
there
> > > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am
confused
> > > about this and am afraid that I am going to
eliminate
> > > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount
of
> > > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > > appreciated.
> > ===
> > You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just
anybody).
> > ===
> > >
>
> Attorney
> Attorney
> Attorney
>
>
I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
posted if you want.

MrD

[MrDonut]

"Mike Cook" > wrote in message
...
> "Gini" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > I have recently gotten into a situation that I
hope
> > > this group may be able to help with.
> > >
> > > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I
have
> > > not had any contact with her for almost ten
years.
> > > There is a minor child and support issues here.
My
> > > support payments were direct deposited to an
unknown
> > > account. When I left my job, I was unable to
find out
> > > where to send the money. Contacting her family
only
> > > gave me messages that she did not want to speak
to me
> > > and they would not tell me where she was. I was
never
> > > given an opportunity to exercise my parental
rights. I
> > > have not been able to locate her, and she has
made no
> > > attempt to contact me until now.
> > >
> > > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to
sign
> > > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate
all
> > > of my parental privileges. There is also a
letter
> > > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of
back
> > > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I
told
> > > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > > written up between me relieving me of the back
support
> > > and future obligation, then I would sign the
form.
> > > This is really what I think she wants. The form
she
> > > sent me did not specifically state that there
would be
> > > any relief from past obligations and again asked
me to
> > > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers.
I
> > > returned the document to her, a new and amended
version
> > > that includes all past and present. She called
me a
> > > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't
matter
> > > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to
adopt
> > > papers is at some point in the future she will
come
> > > after me for back support and I will have no
recourse
> > > as an individual.
> > >
> > > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures
there
> > > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am
confused
> > > about this and am afraid that I am going to
eliminate
> > > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount
of
> > > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > > appreciated.
> > ===
> > You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just
anybody).
> > ===
> > >
>
> Attorney
> Attorney
> Attorney
>
>
I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
posted if you want.

MrD

[Gini]

"MrDonut" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Mike Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
> > "Gini" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >
> > > "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> > > > I have recently gotten into a situation that I
> hope
> > > > this group may be able to help with.
> > > >
> > > > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I
> have
> > > > not had any contact with her for almost ten
> years.
> > > > There is a minor child and support issues here.
> My
> > > > support payments were direct deposited to an
> unknown
> > > > account. When I left my job, I was unable to
> find out
> > > > where to send the money. Contacting her family
> only
> > > > gave me messages that she did not want to speak
> to me
> > > > and they would not tell me where she was. I was
> never
> > > > given an opportunity to exercise my parental
> rights. I
> > > > have not been able to locate her, and she has
> made no
> > > > attempt to contact me until now.
> > > >
> > > > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to
> sign
> > > > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate
> all
> > > > of my parental privileges. There is also a
> letter
> > > > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of
> back
> > > > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I
> told
> > > > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > > > written up between me relieving me of the back
> support
> > > > and future obligation, then I would sign the
> form.
> > > > This is really what I think she wants. The form
> she
> > > > sent me did not specifically state that there
> would be
> > > > any relief from past obligations and again asked
> me to
> > > > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers.
> I
> > > > returned the document to her, a new and amended
> version
> > > > that includes all past and present. She called
> me a
> > > > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't
> matter
> > > > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to
> adopt
> > > > papers is at some point in the future she will
> come
> > > > after me for back support and I will have no
> recourse
> > > > as an individual.
> > > >
> > > > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures
> there
> > > > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am
> confused
> > > > about this and am afraid that I am going to
> eliminate
> > > > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount
> of
> > > > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > > > appreciated.
> > > ===
> > > You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just
> anybody).
> > > ===
> > > >
> >
> > Attorney
> > Attorney
> > Attorney
> >
> >
> I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
> setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
> and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
> posted if you want.
>
> MrD
==
Great--Do let us know how it goes. You are dealing with an area of family
law
that has very serious implications for you. I'm glad you have decided to
tread wisely. Good luck.
==
>
>

[Gini]

"MrDonut" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Mike Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
> > "Gini" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >
> > > "MrDonut" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> > > > I have recently gotten into a situation that I
> hope
> > > > this group may be able to help with.
> > > >
> > > > A few weeks ago I was contacted by my ex wife. I
> have
> > > > not had any contact with her for almost ten
> years.
> > > > There is a minor child and support issues here.
> My
> > > > support payments were direct deposited to an
> unknown
> > > > account. When I left my job, I was unable to
> find out
> > > > where to send the money. Contacting her family
> only
> > > > gave me messages that she did not want to speak
> to me
> > > > and they would not tell me where she was. I was
> never
> > > > given an opportunity to exercise my parental
> rights. I
> > > > have not been able to locate her, and she has
> made no
> > > > attempt to contact me until now.
> > > >
> > > > So, I receive a letter with a document for me to
> sign
> > > > consent to adopt papers which of course terminate
> all
> > > > of my parental privileges. There is also a
> letter
> > > > enclosed reminding me of one hundred months of
> back
> > > > support plus interest. She is located in PA. I
> told
> > > > her that if we could have a consensual agreement
> > > > written up between me relieving me of the back
> support
> > > > and future obligation, then I would sign the
> form.
> > > > This is really what I think she wants. The form
> she
> > > > sent me did not specifically state that there
> would be
> > > > any relief from past obligations and again asked
> me to
> > > > sign it as well as the consent to adopt papers.
> I
> > > > returned the document to her, a new and amended
> version
> > > > that includes all past and present. She called
> me a
> > > > few days later upset telling me that it doesn't
> matter
> > > > in PA. My fear is that if I sign the consent to
> adopt
> > > > papers is at some point in the future she will
> come
> > > > after me for back support and I will have no
> recourse
> > > > as an individual.
> > > >
> > > > Does anyone know what sort of built in procedures
> there
> > > > are with signing Consent to Adopt in PA? I am
> confused
> > > > about this and am afraid that I am going to
> eliminate
> > > > my rights and then be forced to pay a huge amount
> of
> > > > money. Any thoughts from the group would be
> > > > appreciated.
> > > ===
> > > You need an attorney (and I don't say that to just
> anybody).
> > > ===
> > > >
> >
> > Attorney
> > Attorney
> > Attorney
> >
> >
> I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
> setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
> and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
> posted if you want.
>
> MrD
==
Great--Do let us know how it goes. You are dealing with an area of family
law
that has very serious implications for you. I'm glad you have decided to
tread wisely. Good luck.
==
>
>

[The Dave©]

> MrDonut wrote:
> I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
> setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
> and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
> posted if you want.

Personally, I would like to know how this comes out. I do not know the
answer to your question, but I feel that your concerns are very valid,
**especially** if the state is somehow involved. I'm just guessing,
but I would assume that if the state is involved somehow (i.e.: public
assistance that you may not even know about, etc.), then she may not
have the legal authority to waive any past-due CS. The state may be
required to sign off, also, and that may take some doing.

I also question her stance that it doesn't matter in PA. First off,
exactly how forms are filled out and the proceedures taken does matter
in all places. If it's not done right, it doesn't count. Second, PA
seems to come up alot in this group, so I'm guessing they do have
proceedures that are particular to their state, fwiw.

[The Dave©]

> MrDonut wrote:
> I'd like to thank both of you for your response. I'm
> setting up an appointment with an attorney in that area
> and plan on meeting later this week. I'll keep you
> posted if you want.

Personally, I would like to know how this comes out. I do not know the
answer to your question, but I feel that your concerns are very valid,
**especially** if the state is somehow involved. I'm just guessing,
but I would assume that if the state is involved somehow (i.e.: public
assistance that you may not even know about, etc.), then she may not
have the legal authority to waive any past-due CS. The state may be
required to sign off, also, and that may take some doing.

I also question her stance that it doesn't matter in PA. First off,
exactly how forms are filled out and the proceedures taken does matter
in all places. If it's not done right, it doesn't count. Second, PA
seems to come up alot in this group, so I'm guessing they do have
proceedures that are particular to their state, fwiw.