Guilt of being a working Mum

[Samantha]

Blank
Hi Ladies,

I'm a new mum of a baby boy (Loads of Work but totally adorable) and I will be returning to work in a couple of months.
Recently I have been thinking about all the challenges the world brings forward and wonder how other working mums handle a family and still manage to remain top performers at their place of work. The thought of someone else taking care of my baby scares me. I feel bad I might miss some of his new changes while he is at daycares.

All help to shed the guilt away is welcome and any ideas of juggling the two worlds would be most appreciated.

Thanks Y'all

Sam

[Anne Rogers]

BlankHi,

I've been juggling work since my ds was 5 months, he's 16 months now and I
finish work for good next Thursday, the reasoning, well I just couldn't
perform and I was missing milestones, it's been a difficult decision, but
I'm very excited about it. Sorry this doesn't help, I just wanted to say I
tried it and it didn't work.

Anne

[Nikki]

Blank
"Samantha"

>I'm a new mum of a baby boy (Loads of >Work.but totally adorable) and I
will be returning >to work in a couple of months.
>Recently I have been thinking about all the >challenges the world brings
forward and wonder >how other working mums handle a family and still >manage
to remain top performers at their place of >work. The thought of someone
else taking care >of my baby scares me. I feel bad I might miss >some of
his new changes while he is at daycares.

Honestly, it was very difficult at first. It took me awhile to be able to
be a 'top perfomer' again at my job because I was constantly thinking about
or worried about my baby.

I did a bit of a flip after having a baby though. I no longer put in an
extra hours unless it was absolutely needed, and then I generally adjusted
at the end of my week if possible. Before kids I would put in lots of extra
time on various projects. I used to go to out of town conferences and
trainings every chance I got but now I only go to the mandatory ones and
others only if I can bring the kids and childcare with me. I no longer took
evening phone calls but returned them the next day. By putting my family
first in that way I was a lot better at giving my full attention to the 40
hours a week I did work. I utilized my sick time and vacation time to stay
home with a sick child if I needed and didn't feel one bit guilty about it.
If I didn't get something done I explained my reason and that was fine. I
have that leave time coming so they really couldn't say anything. If the
deadline was one that couldn't really be put off I'd work at night or on a
weekend when dh could be home so I didn't completely blow off my job ;-)

Productivity did go back up to where it should be in a relatively short
time.

The emotional side of it is another thing. That continues to be very
diffucult. I just find the best care providers I can and keep trudging
along. The intense anxiety of the first couple months did subside.

Oh - I don't do this so much anymore now that they are older but about once
every couple months I would take a day off but still send my kids to the
sitter. I felt guilty about that at first but it was amazing what a sanity
saver that day was and it wasn't hard on the kids because there routine
never changed. I didn't have any relatives around to watch them on the
weekend and couldn't leave them at night so that was the only non-working
time I had away from the kids. Working time does help to get adult
interaction and not be dealing with a baby but it certainly doesn't recharge
you like a day to yourself does.

Good luck!

--

Nikki

[Kelly]

BlankHi Sam-
Going back to work is so tough. First, you are really tired. Second, you never truly get over the guilt of having someone else care for your child while you are at work. And third, you don't always get the support from friends and coworkers. The positive aspects are that you have interaction with adults outside the home, your child becomes quite adept at interacting with other children, and the time you spend at home is priceless. You are efficient, organized, and learn to say no to extra work hours without feeling bad. Good luck!!

Warmly,
Kelly
#4 2/05

"Samantha" > wrote in message ...

Hi Ladies,

I'm a new mum of a baby boy (Loads of Work but totally adorable) and I will be returning to work in a couple of months.
Recently I have been thinking about all the challenges the world brings forward and wonder how other working mums handle a family and still manage to remain top performers at their place of work. The thought of someone else taking care of my baby scares me. I feel bad I might miss some of his new changes while he is at daycares.

All help to shed the guilt away is welcome and any ideas of juggling the two worlds would be most appreciated.

Thanks Y'all

Sam