how do I limit the amount of violence my kids are exposed to?

[slykitten]

Hi,
While I understand that violence is something that simply cannot be avoided
completely, how do I limit it? Meaning, here at home, I refuse to allow my
kids to watch violent cartoons or surf the internet or even watch the news.
I try to keep everything as positive as possible (even when I don't feel so
great, it's best for me to take it upstairs sometimes and reflect through
meditation or reading or writing) but at school..... my son has been
targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I haven't
honestly seen any kind of effect from his meds, the doc took him off of his
meds, saying that they're probably not the right kind, right dose or both.
His counselor is working very closely with us on ways to deal with his
outbursts and meltdowns. so far, we've been successful in getting him into a
special program at a special school for kids with behavioral issues and
emotional disturbances. I'm worried that with the constant bullying and peer
violence, my son will one day lash out in a big and ugly way. I think I'm
controlling the home environment but what do I do about school? Any ideas?
Thanks.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

[Betsy]

"slykitten" > wrote in message
...
> Hi,
> While I understand that violence is something that simply cannot be
> avoided
> completely, how do I limit it? Meaning, here at home, I refuse to allow my
> kids to watch violent cartoons or surf the internet or even watch the
> news.
> I try to keep everything as positive as possible (even when I don't feel
> so
> great, it's best for me to take it upstairs sometimes and reflect through
> meditation or reading or writing) but at school..... my son has been
> targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
> go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I
> haven't
> honestly seen any kind of effect from his meds, the doc took him off of
> his
> meds, saying that they're probably not the right kind, right dose or both.
> His counselor is working very closely with us on ways to deal with his
> outbursts and meltdowns. so far, we've been successful in getting him into
> a
> special program at a special school for kids with behavioral issues and
> emotional disturbances. I'm worried that with the constant bullying and
> peer
> violence, my son will one day lash out in a big and ugly way. I think I'm
> controlling the home environment but what do I do about school? Any ideas?
> Thanks.
>
> --
> "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
> You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
> ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
>
>

Unfortunately there's not much you can do to limit what happens at school.
What you CAN do however is communicate closely with the school WRT any
bullying you find out about. Stay in contact with the administration, learn
the discipline proceedings and help your son learn how to report any undue
bullying. I actually had someone tell me once, that all kids are bullied
and it's normal and to let it go. Personally, I disagree. Kids learn how
to behave in life from parents and peers. Keep doing what you are doing at
home, and stay in contact with your son's school. Try not to get personally
involved, to the extent where you are confronting students or their parents
though. If the school doesn't have a bullying policy, or is still
developing a strategy, see if you can get involved in the committee. If
there is not a committee, see if you can form one. Find out what you can do
behind the scenes. You can't control everything your child will experience,
and you can't keep him or her from having negative life experiences. You
CAN help your child learn to deal with the negatives as well as the
positives, and I think you are on the right track with your son. Good luck
to you and I hope all goes well. This is just my 2 cents.

Betsy

[xkatx]

"Betsy" > wrote in message
news:w4Crd.6284$Hk6.1686@trnddc05...
>
> "slykitten" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Hi,
>> While I understand that violence is something that simply cannot be
>> avoided
>> completely, how do I limit it? Meaning, here at home, I refuse to allow
>> my
>> kids to watch violent cartoons or surf the internet or even watch the
>> news.
>> I try to keep everything as positive as possible (even when I don't feel
>> so
>> great, it's best for me to take it upstairs sometimes and reflect through
>> meditation or reading or writing) but at school..... my son has been
>> targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he
>> can
>> go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
>> cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I
>> haven't
>> honestly seen any kind of effect from his meds, the doc took him off of
>> his
>> meds, saying that they're probably not the right kind, right dose or
>> both.
>> His counselor is working very closely with us on ways to deal with his
>> outbursts and meltdowns. so far, we've been successful in getting him
>> into a
>> special program at a special school for kids with behavioral issues and
>> emotional disturbances. I'm worried that with the constant bullying and
>> peer
>> violence, my son will one day lash out in a big and ugly way. I think I'm
>> controlling the home environment but what do I do about school? Any
>> ideas?
>> Thanks.
>>
>> --
>> "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
>> You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
>> ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
>>
>>
>
> Unfortunately there's not much you can do to limit what happens at school.
> What you CAN do however is communicate closely with the school WRT any
> bullying you find out about. Stay in contact with the administration,
> learn the discipline proceedings and help your son learn how to report any
> undue bullying. I actually had someone tell me once, that all kids are
> bullied and it's normal and to let it go. Personally, I disagree. Kids
> learn how to behave in life from parents and peers. Keep doing what you
> are doing at home, and stay in contact with your son's school. Try not to
> get personally involved, to the extent where you are confronting students
> or their parents though. If the school doesn't have a bullying policy, or
> is still developing a strategy, see if you can get involved in the
> committee. If there is not a committee, see if you can form one. Find
> out what you can do behind the scenes. You can't control everything your
> child will experience, and you can't keep him or her from having negative
> life experiences. You CAN help your child learn to deal with the
> negatives as well as the positives, and I think you are on the right track
> with your son. Good luck to you and I hope all goes well. This is just
> my 2 cents.
>
> Betsy

I agree with Betsy, but I also disagree... Just from my own personal
experiences, I've found that trying to shelter a child from all the bad
doesn't always help. It's just not at all possible to avoid all the
unpleasant in the world, and I guess I believe that by sheltering a child
from everything you can, what can be done when that child grows to a
teenager, then an adult? I just personally feel that it just hits hard when
it comes time to face everything that can't disappear by closing your eyes.

I do believe that at some point in life, every child has faced some form of
bullying. Although it seems it is, and shouldn't, bullying tends to be
almost a natural thing that kids must face. If your son is facing problems
with bullies, that's definitely wrong. He might not feel like he has much
of a voice, so, even though I'm sure you have already, you might need to
speak up for him. By your post above, I can tell that you love your son to
death, and as almost every parent would, you'd do anything and everything
for your son, right? As Joelle said below me (below me for now, anyways)
that maybe the issue with your son is something different. I really do hope
that you can find a way to stop what's going on to your son. That's just
not right, and yes, I do agree with trying your best to do all you can to
keep the voilence your son's subjected to at home away from him.
I think, based on what you've said, that you're doing a fine job, and with
bullies, don't feel like it's your fault, or your son's fault. Maybe also
try what Betsy said and work with the school. I do hope things turn out
just fine for you and your family, and the school.

Just my opinion, that's all. Don't meant to offend you or anything like
that.


--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

[V]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> > my son has been
> >targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
> >go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> >cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I haven't
>
> Are you familiar with Asperger's Syndrome? I'd check it out and have him
> evaluated. This is a high functioning form of autism. Kids verbally
> intellegent, but don't understand social cues. Are often targeted by
bullies
> and hyper sensative to stress and often have emotional outbursts.
>
> It's can easily be missed by counselors if they aren't looking for it.
>
> http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
>
> Joelle
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

My son was diagnosed with Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.
The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of social skills and inability to
read other's emotions, like mad or sad.
V

[Joelle]

>The main symptom is 'hand flapping'

Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[xkatx]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> >The main symptom is 'hand flapping'
>
> Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.

I think V was meaning that her son was misdiagnosed because HIS main symptom
was what she mentioned ("The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of
social skills and inability to read other's emotions, like mad or sad."),
which leads to the misdiagnosing of Aspberger's ("My son was diagnosed with
Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.")
I could be wrong, though...

> Joelle
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

[slykitten]

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"V" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Joelle" > wrote in message
> ...
> > > my son has been
> > >targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he
can
> > >go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> > >cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I
haven't
> >
> > Are you familiar with Asperger's Syndrome? I'd check it out and have
him
> > evaluated. This is a high functioning form of autism. Kids verbally
> > intellegent, but don't understand social cues. Are often targeted by
> bullies
> > and hyper sensative to stress and often have emotional outbursts.
> >
> > It's can easily be missed by counselors if they aren't looking for it.
> >
> > http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
> >
> > Joelle
> > The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> > Augustine
> > Joelle
>
> My son was diagnosed with Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
> I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.
> The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of social skills and
inability to
> read other's emotions, like mad or sad.
> V
>
>
>

No, He hasn't been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.... though I think I
should at least ask his therapist about that and other things that have been
brought up to me. I also doubt that the psychiatrists have even looked for
it. For the better part of about 3 years though, I wondered if perhaps my
son did have a little autism going on.... I've been poo-poohed to death
about my "paranoid" thoughts regarding what's going on with my son. I'll do
some research on the subject for sure just to educate myself. I'm feeling
rather disappointed in the lack of help I've gotten for his issues. I've dis
covered that with things like applying for medicaid, unless I'm living on
the streets or in a shelter, they won't even look at my application! I'm
also feeling pretty desperate right about now. every year that we make it
without me losing my mind is an absolute miraculous accomplishment! I find
myself increasingly frustrated with all the doors slamming shut so to speak.
I've been trying to get my son onto SSI because of his emotional
disability.... I've been denied roughly about 5 or 6 times! It's been
suggested that I get an attorney to help me get the SSI but unfortunately,
attorneys cost lots and lots of money. I'm not receiving child support and
money's been super tight this year. One good thing though is that one of the
organizations I've called for help offered a free 3 day class on becoming an
effective advocate for my kids. Instead of working harder or being loud and
unbending, rather to work with the system while maintaining the upper hand.
Who knows? maybe if this works out, I could at least volunteer somewhwere
that helps to advocate for kids. Since I'm there now with the frustrations,
learning how to work through them will be rather interesting.
Anyhoo.... Thanks for the idea.
btw.... I'm not seeing about 40% of the posts in any of my groups so I'll
probably do lots of piggy-backing.
Thanks Joelle, V and xkatx! Your replies have helped!

[Joelle]

>No, He hasn't been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.... though I think I
>should at least ask his therapist about that and other things that have been
>brought up to me. I also doubt that the psychiatrists have even looked for
>it.

You would be surprised how many doctors and therapists know very little about
it so it can easily be missed. Many kids with aspergers get misdiagnosed and
mistaken for other things.

>For the better part of about 3 years though, I wondered if perhaps my
>son did have a little autism going on....

Look into it.

>did have a little autism going on.... I've been poo-poohed to death
>about my "paranoid" thoughts

Yea, I know. God forbid you should suggest YOU who have been living with this
kid might know a little more about him than the "experts:

Check out that link and see if anything resonates.

You might also ask the school special ed people. They might be able to test
for it, though I don't think they can diagnose.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[V]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> >The main symptom is 'hand flapping'
>
> Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.
>
> Joelle
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

Yes it does.
It is a repetitive motion in which is common among children with asperger's.
http://www.infosearchpoint.com/display/Asperger's_Syndrome#DSM_definition
"Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or
twisting, or complex whole-body movements) "
V

[V]

"xkatx" > wrote in message
...

> I think V was meaning that her son was misdiagnosed because HIS main symptom
> was what she mentioned ("The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of
> social skills and inability to read other's emotions, like mad or sad."),
> which leads to the misdiagnosing of Aspberger's ("My son was diagnosed with
> Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
> I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.")
> I could be wrong, though...


I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
children with the condition. The hand flapping, though, is not as much of a
routine as funky noises. He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a definate
right on the money diagnosis. He is very, very ritualistic, and compulsive
about things like smells, germs, and for a while, he had a obsession with
pencils. He would pick up pencils everywhere, and anywhere. He had over 100 in
his back pack and hid in his room before I figured it out. He just loved to
"collect" them. All his little obsessions usually fade out and are replaced
with a new one. The information overload is the most difficult to deal with.
He reads something and can give it back to you a week later in it's full text.
The tone of his voice never changes and he is very monotone when he speaks. It
is at times, difficult to continue to actively listen. He will ask you a
question, then answer it. Hey, you never know, he could be the next Jeopardy
champion! We try to take the upsets and make them victories.
Good luck in your search for your son's diagnosis. It is difficult, I know.
V

[V]

"slykitten" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> --
> "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
> You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
> ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
> "V" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Joelle" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > > my son has been
> > > >targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he
> can
> > > >go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> > > >cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I
> haven't
> > >
> > > Are you familiar with Asperger's Syndrome? I'd check it out and have
> him
> > > evaluated. This is a high functioning form of autism. Kids verbally
> > > intellegent, but don't understand social cues. Are often targeted by
> > bullies
> > > and hyper sensative to stress and often have emotional outbursts.
> > >
> > > It's can easily be missed by counselors if they aren't looking for it.
> > >
> > > http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
> > >
> > > Joelle
> > > The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> > > Augustine
> > > Joelle
> >
> > My son was diagnosed with Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
> > I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.
> > The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of social skills and
> inability to
> > read other's emotions, like mad or sad.
> > V
> >
> >
> >
>
> No, He hasn't been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.... though I think I
> should at least ask his therapist about that and other things that have been
> brought up to me. I also doubt that the psychiatrists have even looked for
> it. For the better part of about 3 years though, I wondered if perhaps my
> son did have a little autism going on.... I've been poo-poohed to death
> about my "paranoid" thoughts regarding what's going on with my son. I'll do
> some research on the subject for sure just to educate myself. I'm feeling
> rather disappointed in the lack of help I've gotten for his issues. I've dis
> covered that with things like applying for medicaid, unless I'm living on
> the streets or in a shelter, they won't even look at my application! I'm
> also feeling pretty desperate right about now. every year that we make it
> without me losing my mind is an absolute miraculous accomplishment! I find
> myself increasingly frustrated with all the doors slamming shut so to speak.
> I've been trying to get my son onto SSI because of his emotional
> disability.... I've been denied roughly about 5 or 6 times! It's been
> suggested that I get an attorney to help me get the SSI but unfortunately,
> attorneys cost lots and lots of money. I'm not receiving child support and
> money's been super tight this year. One good thing though is that one of the
> organizations I've called for help offered a free 3 day class on becoming an
> effective advocate for my kids. Instead of working harder or being loud and
> unbending, rather to work with the system while maintaining the upper hand.
> Who knows? maybe if this works out, I could at least volunteer somewhwere
> that helps to advocate for kids. Since I'm there now with the frustrations,
> learning how to work through them will be rather interesting.
> Anyhoo.... Thanks for the idea.
> btw.... I'm not seeing about 40% of the posts in any of my groups so I'll
> probably do lots of piggy-backing.
> Thanks Joelle, V and xkatx! Your replies have helped!
>
>

Good luck! and have you tried legal aid?
V

[xkatx]

"V" > wrote in message
...
>
> "xkatx" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>> I think V was meaning that her son was misdiagnosed because HIS main
>> symptom
>> was what she mentioned ("The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of
>> social skills and inability to read other's emotions, like mad or sad."),
>> which leads to the misdiagnosing of Aspberger's ("My son was diagnosed
>> with
>> Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
>> I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.")
>> I could be wrong, though...
>
>
> I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
> children with the condition. The hand flapping, though, is not as much of
> a
> routine as funky noises. He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
> definate
> right on the money diagnosis. He is very, very ritualistic, and compulsive
> about things like smells, germs, and for a while, he had a obsession with
> pencils. He would pick up pencils everywhere, and anywhere. He had over
> 100 in
> his back pack and hid in his room before I figured it out. He just loved
> to
> "collect" them. All his little obsessions usually fade out and are
> replaced
> with a new one. The information overload is the most difficult to deal
> with.
> He reads something and can give it back to you a week later in it's full
> text.
> The tone of his voice never changes and he is very monotone when he
> speaks. It
> is at times, difficult to continue to actively listen. He will ask you a
> question, then answer it. Hey, you never know, he could be the next
> Jeopardy
> champion! We try to take the upsets and make them victories.
> Good luck in your search for your son's diagnosis. It is difficult, I
> know.
> V

Well, when I was younger, I had an obsession with new pencils and erasers...
I'm really not sure why, but I'd collect used, clean soup cans, and fill
them up with brand new pencils, and I'm sure, at one point, I had at least
10 or 15 cans packed full of neat pencils. Erasers, I remember keeping them
in about 5 plastic pencil cases. All shapes, sizes, colors. To this day, I
have no idea why, but as I look around right now, I realize I have a major
candle and sticker fetish... I regret to inform you that I am, by no means,
the next possible Jeopardy champ, and your son sounds like he's really,
really intelligent! That is a good thing! Maybe in a few years, he'll be
able to knock that funny looking guy with big ears flat on his rear and
beat his record! Haha
It's awesome you can find good in the challenges you face.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

[Joelle]

>> Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.

>Yes it does.
>It is a repetitive motion in which is common among children with asperger's.

It's not a "main symptom" It may be "a" symptom for "some" kids with
Aspergers. That's one of the problems with diagnosing it. It manifests itself
very differently and someone superficially familiar with it will dedide "oh he
doesn't flap his hands, he doesn't have it" or "oh, she is close with her
parents, she doesn't have it"

I just think to say "hand flapping" is a "main symptom" is really misleading.
Lots of aspie kids do not hand flap.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[Joelle]

>> I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
>> children with the condition.

How old is he? Because younger they can "pass" socially but as they get older,
their eccentries become more noticable and peers become less tolerant.

When you say "most kids with the condition" you are talking bout those you
know- who were more obivious and easier to diagnose. Because there is a wide
spectrum, those who are further on the spectrum and are able to "fake it" in
order to get along, (under great stress) are more difficult to diagnose "Well
he can't have it, he's not as bad as *those* kids". They can be very
intellegent in some areas and so more is expected of them, causing even more
stress because people don't realize how much effort it takes just to appearl
"normal"

>He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
>> definate
>> right on the money diagnosis.

Often occurs with aspergers.

>and compulsive
>> about things like smells, germ

Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how his
clothes feel?

Joelle

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[Laura]

"slykitten" > wrote in message >...
> Hi,
> While I understand that violence is something that simply cannot be avoided
> completely, how do I limit it? Meaning, here at home, I refuse to allow my
> kids to watch violent cartoons or surf the internet or even watch the news.
> I try to keep everything as positive as possible (even when I don't feel so
> great, it's best for me to take it upstairs sometimes and reflect through
> meditation or reading or writing) but at school..... my son has been
> targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
> go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I haven't
> honestly seen any kind of effect from his meds, the doc took him off of his
> meds, saying that they're probably not the right kind, right dose or both.
> His counselor is working very closely with us on ways to deal with his
> outbursts and meltdowns. so far, we've been successful in getting him into a
> special program at a special school for kids with behavioral issues and
> emotional disturbances. I'm worried that with the constant bullying and peer
> violence, my son will one day lash out in a big and ugly way. I think I'm
> controlling the home environment but what do I do about school? Any ideas?
> Thanks.

Hi, I saw the other posts and don't have anything to add on that front
so don't think I'm ignoring your son specifically ... but as regards
shielding children from violence ... in my experience with my kids,
when they experienced or witnessed aggression and violence in their
lives, trying to sheild them from it made them incredibly frustrated.
They have genuine emotions, including anger, that result from the
exposure and it doesn't benefit them to pretend it doesn't exist. Not
to say you're doing that, and I agree with you about tv, web, etc.,
but ... my guys had short-term violence and much longer term
aggression from their father and his girlfriend -- they were old
enough to understand 9/11 -- and the DC area sniper was in our
neighborhood (making walking to school a life-or-death matter) ...
many of the parents tried to shield their kids from what was going on
-- no recess, no outdoor play, a classmate's mother killed at the
pentagon -- and the kids were spreading rumours amongst themselves and
whispering and acting out with each other and in class. The reality of
their world was different than what their parents let on. IMO
especially if your son lashes out at times but for any kid in my
opinion ... violence is a fact of life and trying to understand it is
the only healthy way to deal with it.

This may not be at all what you're seeing, I just think it's
important.

lm

[V]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> >> I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
> >> children with the condition.
>
> How old is he? Because younger they can "pass" socially but as they get
older,
> their eccentries become more noticable and peers become less tolerant.
>
> When you say "most kids with the condition" you are talking bout those you
> know- who were more obivious and easier to diagnose. Because there is a
wide
> spectrum, those who are further on the spectrum and are able to "fake it" in
> order to get along, (under great stress) are more difficult to diagnose
"Well
> he can't have it, he's not as bad as *those* kids". They can be very
> intellegent in some areas and so more is expected of them, causing even more
> stress because people don't realize how much effort it takes just to appearl
> "normal"
>
> >He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
> >> definate
> >> right on the money diagnosis.
>
> Often occurs with aspergers.
>
> >and compulsive
> >> about things like smells, germ
>
> Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how his
> clothes feel?
>
> Joelle
>
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

Yes!
He is so sensitive and swears he can smell lettuce. Is that part of it, as
well? I could be wrong. I could be in denial, though.
V

[V]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> >> Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.
>
> >Yes it does.
> >It is a repetitive motion in which is common among children with
asperger's.
>
> It's not a "main symptom" It may be "a" symptom for "some" kids with
> Aspergers. That's one of the problems with diagnosing it. It manifests
itself
> very differently and someone superficially familiar with it will dedide "oh
he
> doesn't flap his hands, he doesn't have it" or "oh, she is close with her
> parents, she doesn't have it"
>
> I just think to say "hand flapping" is a "main symptom" is really
misleading.
> Lots of aspie kids do not hand flap.
>
> Joelle
> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
> Augustine
> Joelle

Not main, per say, but a lot of kids show that....from what the doc says.
V

[V]

"xkatx" > wrote in message
...
>
> "V" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "xkatx" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >
> >> I think V was meaning that her son was misdiagnosed because HIS main
> >> symptom
> >> was what she mentioned ("The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of
> >> social skills and inability to read other's emotions, like mad or sad."),
> >> which leads to the misdiagnosing of Aspberger's ("My son was diagnosed
> >> with
> >> Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
> >> I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.")
> >> I could be wrong, though...
> >
> >
> > I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
> > children with the condition. The hand flapping, though, is not as much of
> > a
> > routine as funky noises. He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
> > definate
> > right on the money diagnosis. He is very, very ritualistic, and compulsive
> > about things like smells, germs, and for a while, he had a obsession with
> > pencils. He would pick up pencils everywhere, and anywhere. He had over
> > 100 in
> > his back pack and hid in his room before I figured it out. He just loved
> > to
> > "collect" them. All his little obsessions usually fade out and are
> > replaced
> > with a new one. The information overload is the most difficult to deal
> > with.
> > He reads something and can give it back to you a week later in it's full
> > text.
> > The tone of his voice never changes and he is very monotone when he
> > speaks. It
> > is at times, difficult to continue to actively listen. He will ask you a
> > question, then answer it. Hey, you never know, he could be the next
> > Jeopardy
> > champion! We try to take the upsets and make them victories.
> > Good luck in your search for your son's diagnosis. It is difficult, I
> > know.
> > V
>
> Well, when I was younger, I had an obsession with new pencils and erasers...
> I'm really not sure why, but I'd collect used, clean soup cans, and fill
> them up with brand new pencils, and I'm sure, at one point, I had at least
> 10 or 15 cans packed full of neat pencils. Erasers, I remember keeping them
> in about 5 plastic pencil cases. All shapes, sizes, colors. To this day, I
> have no idea why, but as I look around right now, I realize I have a major
> candle and sticker fetish... I regret to inform you that I am, by no means,
> the next possible Jeopardy champ, and your son sounds like he's really,
> really intelligent! That is a good thing! Maybe in a few years, he'll be
> able to knock that funny looking guy with big ears flat on his rear and
> beat his record! Haha
> It's awesome you can find good in the challenges you face.
>
> --
> A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
> Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
> A: Top-posting.
> Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?
>
>

Hey, I sort of like office supplies. When I ordered them, it was like
Christmas or something!
Hey that guy FINALLY lost. It was an easy question, too. I bet he threw it to
take his two and half mill and go back home.
V

[V]

"slykitten" > wrote in message
...
> Hi,
> While I understand that violence is something that simply cannot be avoided
> completely, how do I limit it? Meaning, here at home, I refuse to allow my
> kids to watch violent cartoons or surf the internet or even watch the news.
> I try to keep everything as positive as possible (even when I don't feel so
> great, it's best for me to take it upstairs sometimes and reflect through
> meditation or reading or writing) but at school..... my son has been
> targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
> go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
> cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I haven't
> honestly seen any kind of effect from his meds, the doc took him off of his
> meds, saying that they're probably not the right kind, right dose or both.
> His counselor is working very closely with us on ways to deal with his
> outbursts and meltdowns. so far, we've been successful in getting him into a
> special program at a special school for kids with behavioral issues and
> emotional disturbances. I'm worried that with the constant bullying and peer
> violence, my son will one day lash out in a big and ugly way. I think I'm
> controlling the home environment but what do I do about school? Any ideas?
> Thanks.
>
> --
> "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
> You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
> ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
>
>

I do not know how we can lower the amount of violence. I am sure that TV is a
culprit, and video games, etc, but it is also what we teach our kids about
reality and fantasy, etc. when playing those games. I played cowboys and
indians with cousins and we shot fake guns....etc. I never turned out to be a
serial killer, but who knows.
These are tough questions and I wish I had an answer. You just have to search
your heart for what is right. You are doing good by asking other opinions.
I do know this, since we have cut out tv time and video time, life has been
full of scrabble and interaction. I wonder if the violence is part of less
interaction with parents and family members. Just a thought.
Good luck!
I know it is so hard being a parent. We need instructions sometimes, don't we?
Drats.
Where is Kate with that darn instruction booklet?????
V

[Joelle]

> Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how his
>> clothes feel?

>Yes!
>He is so sensitive and swears he can smell lettuce. Is that part of it, as
>well?

Yup - its called sensory integration disfunction.

>I could be in denial, though.

Hey, aren't we all? :-)

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[Cele]

On 02 Dec 2004 13:16:11 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>> my son has been
>>targeted by several bullies. He has some issues and when triggered, he can
>>go off into a violent fit of screaming, scratching, biting, punching,
>>cursing, growling, headbanging, rolling, slapping, spitting, etc. I haven't
>
>Are you familiar with Asperger's Syndrome? I'd check it out and have him
>evaluated. This is a high functioning form of autism. Kids verbally
>intellegent, but don't understand social cues. Are often targeted by bullies
>and hyper sensative to stress and often have emotional outbursts.
>
>It's can easily be missed by counselors if they aren't looking for it.
>
>http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
>
I agree with Joelle that Asperger's is one thing that causes really
major social challenges for kids, and that it needs to be diagnosed
and effectively managed as early as possible. That said, people with
Aspberger's can do very well once they get out of adolesence. There're
plenty of people who believe the world's most famous person who almost
certainly has Asperger's is Bill Gates. There's also a condition on
the Autism Spectrum, even milder than Asperger's, but still creating
real difficulties for kids, called Nonverbal Learing Disability. I'd
encourage you to take a look at that, as well.

That said, there are a number of other conditions and situations that
will result in the kind of behaviour described. It goes without saying
that the child should probably have a full medical, psychoeducational
and probably psychiatric workup to make sure nothing is missed. Even
then, going with your gut as a parent is often the best thing to do
in the face of conflicting professional advice.

Good luck!

Cele

[Cele]

On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 16:03:13 GMT, "V" > wrote:

>
>"xkatx" > wrote in message
...
>
>> I think V was meaning that her son was misdiagnosed because HIS main symptom
>> was what she mentioned ("The main symptom is 'hand flapping' and lack of
>> social skills and inability to read other's emotions, like mad or sad."),
>> which leads to the misdiagnosing of Aspberger's ("My son was diagnosed with
>> Aspberger's about a year or so ago.
>> I think, personally, it is a misdiagnosis.")
>> I could be wrong, though...
>
>
>I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
>children with the condition. The hand flapping, though, is not as much of a
>routine as funky noises. He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a definate
>right on the money diagnosis.

Has Tourette's been considered? It is not uncommonly comorbid with
OCD, as they're both impulse control disorders.

> He is very, very ritualistic, and compulsive
>about things like smells, germs, and for a while, he had a obsession with
>pencils. He would pick up pencils everywhere, and anywhere. He had over 100 in
>his back pack and hid in his room before I figured it out. He just loved to
>"collect" them. All his little obsessions usually fade out and are replaced
>with a new one. The information overload is the most difficult to deal with.
>He reads something and can give it back to you a week later in it's full text.
>The tone of his voice never changes and he is very monotone when he speaks. It
>is at times, difficult to continue to actively listen. He will ask you a
>question, then answer it. Hey, you never know, he could be the next Jeopardy
>champion! We try to take the upsets and make them victories.

Heh. That's a good attitude to teach resilience. :-)

>Good luck in your search for your son's diagnosis. It is difficult, I know.

Good luck to you, V.

Cele

[Cele]

On 03 Dec 2004 16:39:46 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>>> I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than most
>>> children with the condition.
>
>How old is he? Because younger they can "pass" socially but as they get older,
>their eccentries become more noticable and peers become less tolerant.
>
> When you say "most kids with the condition" you are talking bout those you
>know- who were more obivious and easier to diagnose. Because there is a wide
>spectrum, those who are further on the spectrum and are able to "fake it" in
>order to get along, (under great stress) are more difficult to diagnose "Well
>he can't have it, he's not as bad as *those* kids". They can be very
>intellegent in some areas and so more is expected of them, causing even more
>stress because people don't realize how much effort it takes just to appearl
>"normal"

That's sure the truth. It's really tough for these kids, and they can
become really stressed, because they're very well aware that things
aren't going well socially, and they want to 'fix it' but don't know
how. The skills can be taught though, especially if they're caught
early enough.

>>He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
>>> definate
>>> right on the money diagnosis.
>
>Often occurs with aspergers.

Yup. And Tourette's, and NLD.

>>and compulsive
>>> about things like smells, germ
>
>Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how his
>clothes feel?

Sensory processing issues can also show up in putting hands over the
ears, wanting to 'cocoon' into small spaces, squeezing everything
including body parts very tightly, refusing to wear shoes summer and
winter, rocking, repetitive motions, being very fussy about eating and
only being willing to eat certain textures, and...and...and....

Best to all...

Cele

[Cele]

On 04 Dec 2004 15:22:38 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>> Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how his
>>> clothes feel?
>
>>Yes!
>>He is so sensitive and swears he can smell lettuce. Is that part of it, as
>>well?
>
>Yup - its called sensory integration disfunction.
>
>>I could be in denial, though.
>
>Hey, aren't we all? :-)

No kidding. :-) Who isn't?

Cele

[Cele]

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 05:03:10 GMT, "V" > wrote:

>
>"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
>> >> Uh, no. Hand flapping has nothing to do with Aspergers.
>>
>> >Yes it does.
>> >It is a repetitive motion in which is common among children with
>asperger's.
>>
>> It's not a "main symptom" It may be "a" symptom for "some" kids with
>> Aspergers. That's one of the problems with diagnosing it. It manifests
>itself
>> very differently and someone superficially familiar with it will dedide "oh
>he
>> doesn't flap his hands, he doesn't have it" or "oh, she is close with her
>> parents, she doesn't have it"
>>
>> I just think to say "hand flapping" is a "main symptom" is really
>misleading.
>> Lots of aspie kids do not hand flap.
>>
>> Joelle
>> The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
>> Augustine
>> Joelle
>
>Not main, per say, but a lot of kids show that....from what the doc says.

What the 'hand flapping' is about, is it's part of a bigger class of
behaviours that are *very* common with ASD kids (autism spectrum
disorder) called 'repetitive motion'. Plenty of ASD kids do hand flap,
plenty don't. More kids with ASDs have some repetitive motion or other
at some time in their lives, but certainly hand flapping is only one
of many possibilities. A few, but by no means all, of the others are:
rocking, head banging, twirling, tapping, body pressing, etc. Some
behaviours that are normal range, but repetitive, such as thumb
twiddling, knee jiggling, foot tapping, etc., can be part of it if
done to excess. Basically, what your doctor may be trying to tell you,
is that a lot of kids with ASDs do have repetitive motions and it's
one part of a complex diagnosis. But as we all know, people who don't
appear to have any disabilities will have repetitive motions at times
as well. For example, when my younger daughter was a screaming infant,
I remember escaping long enough to go get something at the grocery
store, and not being conscious that I was rocking until someone
grinned at me and said, "got a baby at home?" LOL I have also found
myself rocking gently at times of extreme stress - identifying my
sister's body, in hospital hallways after extremely challenging days
with T, etc. Do I have an ASD? Nope. But enough stress can bring out
interesting behaviours in anyone, and one theory to explain the
repetitive motion of kids with ASD is that they're self-soothing
behaviours.

Hope that's helpful. For those who don't know me - I'm not a doctor,
I'm a special ed teacher, so add salt as you see fit.

Cele

[Cele]

On 03 Dec 2004 13:04:59 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>>No, He hasn't been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.... though I think I
>>should at least ask his therapist about that and other things that have been
>>brought up to me. I also doubt that the psychiatrists have even looked for
>>it.
>
>You would be surprised how many doctors and therapists know very little about
>it so it can easily be missed. Many kids with aspergers get misdiagnosed and
>mistaken for other things.

Doctors and therapists miss tons of things. I've always had a wry
sense of both gratification and disgust that it was *me* who worked
out that my daughter was profoundly far sighted, even though three
opthalmologists told me I was nuts, and it was *me* who first
suggested a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder even before
she disclosed her trauma. Both are now established facts.

To be fair, I guess they're only as good as the information we give
them, and if we don't know what's important to tell..... then again.
They need to ask the right questions, don't they?

>>For the better part of about 3 years though, I wondered if perhaps my
>>son did have a little autism going on....
>
>Look into it.

Yup. Always follow your instincts. The consequences of being wrong,
are that you look and feel a bit silly. The consequences of being
right and *not* addressing it, can be lifelong.

>>did have a little autism going on.... I've been poo-poohed to death
>>about my "paranoid" thoughts
>
>Yea, I know. God forbid you should suggest YOU who have been living with this
>kid might know a little more about him than the "experts:

For sure. If experts react that way, with patronising or minimising
responses, then it's time for a new expert. Even if you're wrong, the
information should be provided respectfully with a good, clear,
factual explanation of why your concerns don't seem to support your
conclusions.

>Check out that link and see if anything resonates.
>
>You might also ask the school special ed people. They might be able to test
>for it, though I don't think they can diagnose.

I believe things here are similar to down there in this regard, so
I'll take a shot at that one. What we do here, as special educators,
if a parents asks something of that nature, is to respond with our
clinical impressions and best guess, qualify it by reminding them that
we aren't trained to diagnose, and encourage them to see the right
(medical) professional. However. Lots of us, me included, will also
volunteer to call the doctor (assuming we get a signed permission slip
to do so, of course) and present our observations and clinical
impressions, which can then help the doc to A) take you more seriously
and B) expand his/her awareness of the specific challenges the child
is facing. Doctors tend to get more serious if they're *also* hearing
from the school that there are consistent concerns.

Good luck.

Cele

[Cele]

On 3 Dec 2004 10:28:36 -0800, (Laura)
wrote:


>opinion ... violence is a fact of life and trying to understand it is
>the only healthy way to deal with it.

I have to agree. It's our job to protect children, for sure, but it's
also our job to gradually teach them over the eighteen or so years
we've got them, how to cope with the reality they'll face when they
leave our care. Understanding and coping skills have to be a part of
that, or ultimately we end off sending them into the world
unprotected.

Cele

[slykitten]

Both what Joelle and Cele are saying make complete sense!! See, way too many
symptoms overlap into other possibilities....
My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then it
was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right now,
the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
HUH?!?! gee, aren't those all different names for virtually the same thing?
The kid has mood swings, can become violent, was traumatized, is very
sensitive, etc.
So now, once we get onto medicaid, hopefully a doc that's covered will be
willing to do a more diagnostic workup on this kiddo so we can effectively
treat and manage what's going on with him. I mean, some of the meds he was
on simply didn't make sense. In fact, Until we have a more concrete idea as
to what's going on, medications will probably do more harm than good. My
chiropractor has seen my son for some accupressure and a basic evaluation.
we've discovered that my son's neck was traumatized during his birth and
it's possible (now, keep in mind, this is a theory right now) that his skull
sutures were beginning to seal before he was delivered. We wouldn't know
unless we could get him in for the proper tests.
Anyway.... Thanks! I'll speak with his special ed team about this a little
more in depth.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Cele" > wrote in message
...
> On 03 Dec 2004 13:04:59 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:
>
> >>No, He hasn't been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.... though I think
I
> >>should at least ask his therapist about that and other things that have
been
> >>brought up to me. I also doubt that the psychiatrists have even looked
for
> >>it.
> >
> >You would be surprised how many doctors and therapists know very little
about
> >it so it can easily be missed. Many kids with aspergers get misdiagnosed
and
> >mistaken for other things.
>
> Doctors and therapists miss tons of things. I've always had a wry
> sense of both gratification and disgust that it was *me* who worked
> out that my daughter was profoundly far sighted, even though three
> opthalmologists told me I was nuts, and it was *me* who first
> suggested a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder even before
> she disclosed her trauma. Both are now established facts.
>
> To be fair, I guess they're only as good as the information we give
> them, and if we don't know what's important to tell..... then again.
> They need to ask the right questions, don't they?
>
> >>For the better part of about 3 years though, I wondered if perhaps my
> >>son did have a little autism going on....
> >
> >Look into it.
>
> Yup. Always follow your instincts. The consequences of being wrong,
> are that you look and feel a bit silly. The consequences of being
> right and *not* addressing it, can be lifelong.
>
> >>did have a little autism going on.... I've been poo-poohed to death
> >>about my "paranoid" thoughts
> >
> >Yea, I know. God forbid you should suggest YOU who have been living with
this
> >kid might know a little more about him than the "experts:
>
> For sure. If experts react that way, with patronising or minimising
> responses, then it's time for a new expert. Even if you're wrong, the
> information should be provided respectfully with a good, clear,
> factual explanation of why your concerns don't seem to support your
> conclusions.
>
> >Check out that link and see if anything resonates.
> >
> >You might also ask the school special ed people. They might be able to
test
> >for it, though I don't think they can diagnose.
>
> I believe things here are similar to down there in this regard, so
> I'll take a shot at that one. What we do here, as special educators,
> if a parents asks something of that nature, is to respond with our
> clinical impressions and best guess, qualify it by reminding them that
> we aren't trained to diagnose, and encourage them to see the right
> (medical) professional. However. Lots of us, me included, will also
> volunteer to call the doctor (assuming we get a signed permission slip
> to do so, of course) and present our observations and clinical
> impressions, which can then help the doc to A) take you more seriously
> and B) expand his/her awareness of the specific challenges the child
> is facing. Doctors tend to get more serious if they're *also* hearing
> from the school that there are consistent concerns.
>
> Good luck.
>
> Cele
>

[Joelle]

>>>I could be in denial, though.

>>Hey, aren't we all? :-)

>No kidding. :-) Who isn't?

It's a very fine line between hope and denial.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[Joelle]

>My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then it
>was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right now,
>the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
>symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
>HUH?!?

It's very frustrating, because in some way, they are all just guessing. And
people (even some here) will blame it on your parenting because they have no
idea what it is like dealing with a kid who sees and reacts to the world
differently.

Don't give up. Keep trying and believe in your kid and yourself.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

[V]

"Cele" > wrote in message
...
> On 03 Dec 2004 16:39:46 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:
>
> >>> I think it is a misdiagnosis, because he is more socially adept than
most
> >>> children with the condition.
> >
> >How old is he? Because younger they can "pass" socially but as they get
older,
> >their eccentries become more noticable and peers become less tolerant.
> >
> > When you say "most kids with the condition" you are talking bout those you
> >know- who were more obivious and easier to diagnose. Because there is a
wide
> >spectrum, those who are further on the spectrum and are able to "fake it"
in
> >order to get along, (under great stress) are more difficult to diagnose
"Well
> >he can't have it, he's not as bad as *those* kids". They can be very
> >intellegent in some areas and so more is expected of them, causing even
more
> >stress because people don't realize how much effort it takes just to
appearl
> >"normal"
>
> That's sure the truth. It's really tough for these kids, and they can
> become really stressed, because they're very well aware that things
> aren't going well socially, and they want to 'fix it' but don't know
> how. The skills can be taught though, especially if they're caught
> early enough.
>
> >>He was also diagnosed with OCD. That is a
> >>> definate
> >>> right on the money diagnosis.
> >
> >Often occurs with aspergers.
>
> Yup. And Tourette's, and NLD.
>
> >>and compulsive
> >>> about things like smells, germ
> >
> >Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how
his
> >clothes feel?
>
> Sensory processing issues can also show up in putting hands over the
> ears, wanting to 'cocoon' into small spaces, squeezing everything
> including body parts very tightly, refusing to wear shoes summer and
> winter, rocking, repetitive motions, being very fussy about eating and
> only being willing to eat certain textures, and...and...and....
>
> Best to all...
>
> Cele

WOW. I am going to do some reading up on this. Thanks for the input.
V

[V]

"Joelle" > wrote in message
...
> > Does he seem overly sensitive to smells and taste and complain about how
his
> >> clothes feel?
>
> >Yes!
> >He is so sensitive and swears he can smell lettuce. Is that part of it, as
> >well?
>
> Yup - its called sensory integration disfunction.

I am certainly going to mention this to his doc. I have saved the above name
and will do some reading up.

>
> >I could be in denial, though.
>
> Hey, aren't we all? :-)
>
LOL...yes, but as you said in another post, there is a fine line between hope
and denial. ;-)
V
The teacher will appear when the pupil is ready.

[V]

"Cele" > wrote in message
...
snip
>
> Good luck to you, V.
>
> Cele

Thank you so much. It is one day at a time around here and pretty much
everywhere eh?
V

[Cele]

On 05 Dec 2004 13:44:56 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>>>>I could be in denial, though.
>
>>>Hey, aren't we all? :-)
>
>>No kidding. :-) Who isn't?
>
>It's a very fine line between hope and denial.

It is, that. It's got me through, on occasion, walking that line.

Be well.

Cele

[Cele]

On Sun, 05 Dec 2004 15:39:30 GMT, "V" > wrote:

>
>"Cele" > wrote in message
...
>snip
>>
>> Good luck to you, V.
>>
>> Cele
>
>Thank you so much. It is one day at a time around here and pretty much
>everywhere eh?
>V
>
Pretty much, yeah. I guess if it was easy, we wouldn't learn
anything....

Cele

[Cele]

On Sat, 4 Dec 2004 23:32:29 -0700, "slykitten" >
wrote:

>Both what Joelle and Cele are saying make complete sense!! See, way too many
>symptoms overlap into other possibilities....
>My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then it
>was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right now,
>the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
>symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
>HUH?!?! gee, aren't those all different names for virtually the same thing?
>The kid has mood swings, can become violent, was traumatized, is very
>sensitive, etc.
>So now, once we get onto medicaid, hopefully a doc that's covered will be
>willing to do a more diagnostic workup on this kiddo so we can effectively
>treat and manage what's going on with him. I mean, some of the meds he was
>on simply didn't make sense. In fact, Until we have a more concrete idea as
>to what's going on, medications will probably do more harm than good. My
>chiropractor has seen my son for some accupressure and a basic evaluation.
>we've discovered that my son's neck was traumatized during his birth and
>it's possible (now, keep in mind, this is a theory right now) that his skull
>sutures were beginning to seal before he was delivered. We wouldn't know
>unless we could get him in for the proper tests.
>Anyway.... Thanks! I'll speak with his special ed team about this a little
>more in depth.

The special ed team will, if they're good, know about all of the
diagnoses you listed with the exception of PTSD and Bipolar NOS.

My experience is that PTSD, depending on the nature & severity of the
trauma, can mask as *all* of the others, and my personal preference is
to manage the PTSD first. But that's just me. I'd certainly encourage
you to inform yourself about the impact of severe trauma, because the
trust and boundary issues that surface need to be addressed very
consistently to help the child heal before anything else is going to
improve much.

Bipolar, on the other hand, is organic and needs medication. So good
for you for hanging in with trying to get it all figured out.

Best of luck.

Cele

[Cele]

On 05 Dec 2004 13:58:33 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:

>>My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then it
>>was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right now,
>>the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
>>symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
>>HUH?!?
>
>It's very frustrating, because in some way, they are all just guessing. And
>people (even some here) will blame it on your parenting because they have no
>idea what it is like dealing with a kid who sees and reacts to the world
>differently.

That is *so* true. And it gets really, really old.

>Don't give up. Keep trying and believe in your kid and yourself.

Excellent advice. Just the staying with it means a lot to the kid,
eventually. Eventually they realize that you were there through thick
and thin.

That helps.

Cele

[slykitten]

Thanks....
I know all about PTSD because it's something I've been diagnosed with. For
me, talk therapy and animal therapy have done wonders!

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Cele" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 4 Dec 2004 23:32:29 -0700, "slykitten" >
> wrote:
>
> >Both what Joelle and Cele are saying make complete sense!! See, way too
many
> >symptoms overlap into other possibilities....
> >My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then
it
> >was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right
now,
> >the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
> >symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
> >HUH?!?! gee, aren't those all different names for virtually the same
thing?
> >The kid has mood swings, can become violent, was traumatized, is very
> >sensitive, etc.
> >So now, once we get onto medicaid, hopefully a doc that's covered will be
> >willing to do a more diagnostic workup on this kiddo so we can
effectively
> >treat and manage what's going on with him. I mean, some of the meds he
was
> >on simply didn't make sense. In fact, Until we have a more concrete idea
as
> >to what's going on, medications will probably do more harm than good. My
> >chiropractor has seen my son for some accupressure and a basic
evaluation.
> >we've discovered that my son's neck was traumatized during his birth and
> >it's possible (now, keep in mind, this is a theory right now) that his
skull
> >sutures were beginning to seal before he was delivered. We wouldn't know
> >unless we could get him in for the proper tests.
> >Anyway.... Thanks! I'll speak with his special ed team about this a
little
> >more in depth.
>
> The special ed team will, if they're good, know about all of the
> diagnoses you listed with the exception of PTSD and Bipolar NOS.
>
> My experience is that PTSD, depending on the nature & severity of the
> trauma, can mask as *all* of the others, and my personal preference is
> to manage the PTSD first. But that's just me. I'd certainly encourage
> you to inform yourself about the impact of severe trauma, because the
> trust and boundary issues that surface need to be addressed very
> consistently to help the child heal before anything else is going to
> improve much.
>
> Bipolar, on the other hand, is organic and needs medication. So good
> for you for hanging in with trying to get it all figured out.
>
> Best of luck.
>
> Cele
>

[slykitten]

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Cele" > wrote in message
...
> On 05 Dec 2004 13:58:33 GMT, (Joelle) wrote:
>
> >>My son was at one point diagnosed with ADD.... Then it was ADHD... then
it
> >>was schizoaffective disorder..... then it was Mood Disorder.... right
now,
> >>the working diagnosis is ADHD with multiple features, Bipolar NOS and
> >>symptoms consistent with PTSD and Mood Disorder...
> >>HUH?!?
> >
> >It's very frustrating, because in some way, they are all just guessing.
And
> >people (even some here) will blame it on your parenting because they have
no
> >idea what it is like dealing with a kid who sees and reacts to the world
> >differently.

I agree.... this is so true! I'm not sure if you've ever heard of a place
called "Brain Matters" but it's a clinic that specializes in brain
disorders. I use "Brain disorders" collectively. It's a special scan called
a SPECT scan. you can check it out at www.scanyourbrain.com and read in
detail what they do. I'm saving up so I can afford to get my son that kind
of scan. It's highly specialized and to be honest, I think it'll give us a
better idea and understanding as to what's going on with him.
>
> That is *so* true. And it gets really, really old.
>
> >Don't give up. Keep trying and believe in your kid and yourself.
>
> Excellent advice. Just the staying with it means a lot to the kid,
> eventually. Eventually they realize that you were there through thick
> and thin.
>
> That helps.
>
> Cele
>

It does help.... I have this friend who can't believe that I 'tolerate' my
son's mood swings, etc. She told me, "I'd go nuts! I don't understand how
you do it?" Unfortunately, a kid like my son makes finding a steady job very
very difficult to find. Employers nowadays don't want to hear about family
issues, if you can't get a sitter or daycare then they don't even want to
bother. Locally, I found a job agency that specifically caters to a parent's
needs! the place is called ten til two (www.tentiltwo.com) and it
specifically takes into consideration a mom (or dad's) schedule for the
kids. I contacted them and it sounds like I could be employed as early as
Wednesday of next week! It's at least promising.... =)