How do you survive the newborn period?

[Donna Metler]

I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why we
decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back to
VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.

I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.

Please tell me this gets better!

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)

[Ericka Kammerer]

Donna Metler wrote:

> Please tell me this gets better!

It does get better, and for all the reasons you mentioned,
you're having a harder than usual time of it. Is there no way
for your parents to stay any longer? Can you get any help from
friends? Even a dinner or an hour or two of babysitting so you
can get a nap would be a big help when you're having to handle
the day alone. I know you know it already, but she's really
only near her due date now. She'll keep maturing and you'll
keep recovering and you'll find your way together. It won't
be like this forever. Meanwhile, ask for (and accept!) as
much help as you can--even though I'm sure you feel squeamish
about that after already asking for help during bedrest and
such.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Unadulterated Me]

Donna Metler wrote:


> Please tell me this gets better!
>

It does, but it sucks when you are living it {{{hugs}}}

Andrea

[Kelly]

(((hugs)))
Yes, Donna, it does get better. The pumping gadgetry adds to the whole
stress level, too, so as you are able to BF more and pump less, you'll
naturally feel better.

Luckily we get so sleep deprived that this phase becomes a blur once you get
through it ;)

I cried when my mom had to go back home after staying and helping with DS
#1-but then I figured things out pretty quick and was fine. It isn't easy,
but you too will be okay. Come visit here when you can to get more
support-we're always around!!!

Warmly,
Kelly
#4 2/12/05

"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
> to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!
>
> --
> Donna DeVore Metler
> Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
>
>

[emilymr]

"I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
we decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really
hard
time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
difficulties..."


I feel like I could say this, subbing Micah for Allie and constant
spitting up for feeding difficulties!! How do you know it's reflux and
not normal spitting up/fussiness?

We definitely have it easier than you do, Donna, but I can commiserate
about feeling overwhelmed and motherhood not being what I expected -- the
hard parts, but also the good parts, thank goodness...

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

[Anne Rogers]

((Donna))

it's hard, it gets better, you have it harder than most, a preemie, pumping,
everything else you've been through, you've got a whole lot on your plate
emotionally, so it is going to be hard, I guess when you've been through a
difficult pregnancy you hope/expect delivery is a cure, but it's just a
different problem, I know I was so relieved to get the baby out I was
walking on air for a month, but then bang, PPD, which I understand is linked
with difficult pregnancies and deliveries, some kind of delayed emotional
response. I'm sorry to say that if that does happen to you and I'm really
hoping it won't it could get worse before it gets better.


You are doing a really wonderful job, as you say Alli is exclusively
breastfed, many many people wouldn't have got this far and she will reap the
rewards in future, and so will you when she learns to latch.

Good Luck Donna

Anne

[Mamma Mia]

i always found the first 6 weeks hard and then it gets easier. if alli was
prem, maybe it will mean a bit longer for you, but you know that IT DOES GET
BETTER.

is she smiling yet? probably not, but once they do, it instantly is better.

i am not sure why you ar epumping as well? is it to increase supply? maybe
there are other things you can do. Do you hang out it in
misc.kids.breastfeeding? if you are just pumping to have a stash in the
freezer, maybe give it a rest for a bit?

stay around donna, it really really does get better...

chris
"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
> to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!
>
> --
> Donna DeVore Metler
> Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
>
>

[Jenrose]

"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
> to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!


It does.

She's just now term, right? I suspect that 3 weeks from now, things will be
completely different.

Cut yourself some slack. You're not just recovering from a c-section, you're
recovering from months of bedrest, and you're trying to do it with broken
sleep and a completely new role in life. Pile on two grieving
anniversaries... and the fact that you're managing as well as you are is
pretty damn impressive.

She will pick up on her nursing. You will need less pumping. You will get
the hang of it better. She'll sleep in longer chunks.

In the meantime, do whatever the heck you need to to make it as simple as
possible to take care of her, take care of yourself, etc. If you're trying
to follow any "method", chuck it out the window and do whatever gets you the
best sleep. If she only sleeps well on her tummy on your chest, and you can
sleep in that position, get some sort of sling to hold her in place and let
her sleep there. My kid threw up in any position but tummy-lying, so we
chucked back-to-sleep, she slept right next to me, and I nursed her whenever
she wanted for as little or much as she wanted. Do whatever *works* for you
and her. If that's the crib, go for it.

You didn't have children for *this*... although *this* is part of it. The
"good stuff" is watching them unfold from immature and needy newborn to
competent adult. The good stuff is watching their wonder as they emerge from
the newborn fuss-fog and into the alert baby, full of wonder. Watching them
learn to nurse, learn to crawl, learn to sit, babble, talk, walk, etc.

You're in what is in some ways the hardest part--the newborn phase with your
first child... not so hard because the needs are complex, but hard because
they're just unrelenting. Older children sleep through most nights. You
don't have to change their diapers. If they need something, they can ask for
it rather than instantly going to full roar because they don't know how else
to tell you what they need.

You're both learning right now. It will settle down.

Jenrose

[Tim and Stephanie]

"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!
>


I cannot say anything different than anyone else. For me, when people said
it would get better, that the first 3 months were the hardest, I cried. I
had to live on NO sleep for 3 months??!!?? You might as well have said 30
years! And I did not have half the difficulty you had. If you can have faith
that what the people here are saying is true, then maybe you can use it as a
mantra when you want to fall apart. Take a deep breath and repeat It Gets
Better. You are doing a terrific job.

And if people offer to help, or there is anyone you feel comfortable asking,
get the help!


My thoughts are with you.



> --
> Donna DeVore Metler
> Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
>
>

[Donna Metler]

"Mamma Mia" > wrote in message
...
> i always found the first 6 weeks hard and then it gets easier. if alli
was
> prem, maybe it will mean a bit longer for you, but you know that IT DOES
GET
> BETTER.
>
> is she smiling yet? probably not, but once they do, it instantly is
better.
>
> i am not sure why you ar epumping as well? is it to increase supply?
maybe
> there are other things you can do. Do you hang out it in
> misc.kids.breastfeeding? if you are just pumping to have a stash in the
> freezer, maybe give it a rest for a bit?
>
Right now, Alli isn't really nursing productively-she gets latched, will
suck for a few minutes, and then she will NOT latch again-and gets very
upset if we try. Or, she falls asleep without sucking at all-then wakes up a
very upset, STARVING baby who often doesn't even take a bottle well.Which is
how it has been since birth. She lost over 1/5 of her body weight in the
first 5 days-when it looked like she was nursing well, as far as time at the
breast (but wasn't sucking much at all-something which I feel was ignored
when I asked about it) Supposedly, she'll eventually start getting enough
reward from nursing to stay attached longer, but for now, it's pumping and
feeding EBM so that she'll get breastmilk at all. We've already been working
with a IBCLC who specializes in pre-term and special needs babies, and even
she agrees that while Alli has a lot of the pieces in place, nursing isn't
working for her yet. According to the neonatologist, her oral tone and
sucking reflex is low, so she really couldn't suck hard enough for long
enough to get milk from my breast initially. I think she's improving, and
that a good part of it is that she's now learned that if she stops and
fusses mom will give in and give her milk the easy way, but after as many
problems with weight as she had initially, I'm very nervous about trying to
force the issue. We have appointments with the Neonatologist and the Special
needs LC next week, so we'll go from there.

Besides, at this point, my supply is well established, and I don't want to
lose it-but the trade off is that my breasts let me know if I haven't pumped
in 3 hours or so-4 maximum. So even when my husband is home and able to
take Alli for a few hours (or my parents are), I still don't get the long
sleep I really need-and if I'm awake to pump, I might as well do the night
feedings too-and at least let DH get to work less sleep deprived! And I
really do want to get her to the breast when she's hungry, because at least
right now she isn't initially refusing the nipple-she's willing to latch on
and try, just not continuing with it.


> stay around donna, it really really does get better...
>
> chris
> "Donna Metler" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder
why
> > we
> > decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really
hard
> > time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> > difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse,
since
> > she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> > thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> > taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts,
etc.
> > And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
> > to
> > VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
> >
> > I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and
at
> > this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> > survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> > anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months
of
> > bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> > Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical),
but
> > I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
> >
> > Please tell me this gets better!
> >
> > --
> > Donna DeVore Metler
> > Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> > Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> > And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
> >
> >
>
>

[Donna Metler]

"emilymr" <emily@xxxxxx> wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
> "I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really
> hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties..."
>
>
> I feel like I could say this, subbing Micah for Allie and constant
> spitting up for feeding difficulties!! How do you know it's reflux and
> not normal spitting up/fussiness?
>
Well, according to her pediatrician she has mild reflux-nothing so serious
as to require anything but care in feeding and positioning, but enough to
make it a REAL pain to feed her. It did get much better when my supply was
finally enough that we were able to drop formula entirely-it was really bad
on the preemie formula. Somehow, "mild" reflux doesn't seem mild when you
have baby vesuvius erupting, though!


> We definitely have it easier than you do, Donna, but I can commiserate
> about feeling overwhelmed and motherhood not being what I expected -- the
> hard parts, but also the good parts, thank goodness...
>
> Em
> mama to Micah, 11/14/04
>

[dragonlady]

In article >,
"Donna Metler" > wrote:

> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!

It does.

I didn't feel this way much when my oldest was born, but she was full
term and I was used to being around babies.

However, when the twins were born 3 years later, I DEFINATELY felt this
level of stress! We were in a new area, didn't know anyone, had no
relatives who were able to fly out to help, and DH was in a new job with
no paternity leave.

I can't give you much advice for the grief related stress; I hope
you've been in some of the support groups for people who have lost
babies -- I can't imagine how awful that must be. As far as the
physical fatigue related to the long bed rest, it will probably be
really important to build up muscle and stamina again, maybe by putting
the baby in a stroller and walking as far as you can at least once a day.

But some of the things that helped us get through those first few months
might help you.

After a week or two, we realized that I wasn't even CLOSE to getting
enough sleep, and it was getting dangerous. So DH and I split the
night, starting fairly early in the evening: I'd go to bed for 5 hours,
and during that time he would not wake me. (If they needed to nurse, I
could do it without really waking up.) Then he'd go to bed for 5 hours
without being disturbed. We were both somewhat sleep deprived, but
neither of us was totally zombified.

Neither of has ever been particularly good housekeepers, but during this
period it hit a new low. We ate off paper plates with plastic
silverware (something I seldom do for environmental reasons) and also
did a LOT of take out meals or TV dinners so neither of us had to cook.

(If it were now, I'd have tried to arrange for grocery delivery; if
that's available where you live, if you can shop on-line and have the
stuff delivered, I think the price would be well worth it.)

During the day, I tried to sleep while they slept -- but I had a
horrible time getting even just the babies on the same schedule,
nevermind the 3 yo!

As soon as it was practical, I hired a girl in the neighborhood to come
in 3 afternoons a week after school to play with the kids; I sometimes
did housework, sometimes slept, sometimes read a book, and sometimes
gave the 3 yo some one-on-one time with me.

Good luck. If there is an indication that you are also suffering from
post-partum depression, see your doctor; that can be treated, and it's
important to treat it sooner rather than later.

And, indeed, this, too shall pass -- things will get easier as the baby
settled into a more regular schedule.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

[Penny Gaines]

Donna Metler wrote in >:

> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really
> hard time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
[snip]

> Please tell me this gets better!

It gets better.

When you actually add up the amount of time you spend on direct
baby care (eg feeding, changing nappies, pumping etc etc), it adds up
to a huge amount of time. All you really have time to do right now is
to care for the baby and sleep, and you are always on call.

It gets better.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

[Larry McMahan]

"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...

"How do you survive the newborn period?"

I didn't respond to this when I first read it, because I though your
situation
was so different from the customary that I didn't think it reflected the
usual
newborn period, and I also wanted to see what some others would say
about it.

First let's get the question straight. You are really asking: "How does
Donna
survive the newborn period of a preemie who was born by c-section and who
has trouble nursing. I hope you realize that this is a triple whammy and
that
most first time moms don't have to deal with anything nearly as difficult as
this.

That said, you still have to deal with it. But it doesn't mean that most
moms
have to deal with such a situation, or that you will have to next time (if
you
choose to have a next time).

I think the first thing you do to survive is to realize that you have been
dealt
a "special" hand, and that you have to be strong in playing it. I think it
takes
extra faith, ... in you baby, in your body, in your ability to cope, in
your
determination to do the best for yourself and your baby, and in whatever
personal faith you have.

I also think it also take "knowing" it will get better because you will do
whatever it takes to make it better. If you can get though this and make
a better life for your baby, you can be an inspiration to moms who do not
have to go through as many trials.

I know you can make it!

Good luck,
Larry

[Todd Gastaldo]

"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
> we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
> to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!
>
> --
> Donna DeVore Metler
> Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
>
>

Little Allison Joy seems like a miracle baby to me - born to a miracle
mother.

Modern medicine is wizardry sometimes.

I just googled Orff. Very interesting fellow...
http://www.aosa.org/about/orff/default.asp

I have just taken up the Mandolin.

Music has revolutionized my life this late in life.

My teacher taught me a SIMPLE "pentatonic" scale which allows me to
harmonize with many, many songs. All I have to do is find the key - which
also is pretty simple. (WHY did I wait this long to bring music back into
my life? No matter, I am pleased.)

Anyway, Donna, little Allison Joy seems like a miracle baby born to a
miracle mother.

This stress in the short term will yield happiness in the long term I am
sure.

How cool to see all the supportive posts.

Good luck Donna.

Sincerely,

Todd

[Jenrose]

> Besides, at this point, my supply is well established, and I don't want to
> lose it-but the trade off is that my breasts let me know if I haven't
> pumped
> in 3 hours or so-4 maximum. So even when my husband is home and able to
> take Alli for a few hours (or my parents are), I still don't get the long
> sleep I really need-and if I'm awake to pump, I might as well do the night
> feedings too-and at least let DH get to work less sleep deprived! And I
> really do want to get her to the breast when she's hungry, because at
> least
> right now she isn't initially refusing the nipple-she's willing to latch
> on
> and try, just not continuing with it.
>


I think a lot of the newborn period is easier if you adjust your sleep
expectations. I resorted to declaring midnight to noon the "bed" time...
(I'm a night owl, this is what worked for me) and whatever else, we mostly
went back to bed after whatever care needed to be done during that time.
Noon to midnight was the "up" time, and whether she slept or not, I was
mostly up during that time. However, if I was tired, I'd nap when she
napped. I rarely got more than an hour or two of sleep at a stretch, but
because she was usually sleeping near me or on me, we tended to sleep and
rouse on the same cycle and I'd get "complete sleep cycles" in that time.
If I ended up with a net of 8 hours actual sleep throughout a 24 hour
period, I counted myself as "rested".

Jenrose

[jojo]

Donna,
It does get better. Also, please talk to your OB about post partum
depression. Please.
Others have offered advice here, please check this out too, even if you
think your not.
Hugs,
jojo


"Donna Metler" > wrote in message
...
> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why
we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.
> And this is with my parents here, to help with childcare-they'll go back
to
> VA next week, and it will just be me while DH is at work.
>
> I know that part of it is emotional-Brian would have been 3 today, and at
> this time last year we were waiting in ICU to hear whether my MIL would
> survive a brain aneurysm so we have a double tragedy to deal with
> anniversary effect, and part is physical recovery from the three months of
> bedrest and the C-section (and other surgery, since the scar tissue from
> Brian's birth made it a much more complicated procedure than typical), but
> I still feel like I should be doing better than I am now.
>
> Please tell me this gets better!
>
> --
> Donna DeVore Metler
> Orff Music Specialist/Band/Choir
> Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
> And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
>
>

[Chookie]

In article >,
"Donna Metler" > wrote:

> I'm glad Alli is here-honest-but there are times when I really wonder why we
> decided to have children in the first place! I'm just having a really hard
> time dealing with the sleep deprivation, the fussiness, the feeding
> difficulties (I'm pumping 6 times a day, as well as trying to nurse, since
> she still can't get enough milk out at a time before getting fatigued to
> thrive. She's getting only breastmilk, which I want, but it's definitely
> taking a toll on me), the reflux (so she has to eat in small amounts, etc.

<snip>

> Please tell me this gets better!

It does, but of course you have some extra difficulties with a premmie, so
your "newborn period" may run a bit longer than other people's (I assume the
prematurity is why she can't get enough milk at a feeding? Is the reflux also
a premmie thing?). Have you found any LLL or otehr BFing support group?
There may be some tricks and timesavers that are known to other people who
have been through the premmie mill.

<hugs>

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Life is like a cigarette -- smoke it to the butt." -- Harvie Krumpet