minor rant: grumpy after prenatal visit (also worst mommy ever)

[Melania]

So, I got to my doctor's office for my six-month checkup, and the first
step is to do the urine test. I generally bring ds along for my
checkups, b/c I want him to be part of the process and also b/c finding
a babysitter isn't always easy. The office doesn't have its own
washroom, but rather there is one down the hall from the office that
requires a key. Someone else had the key when we got there, so I had to
wait for her to bring it back. Meanwhile, ds got playing with the toys
in the waiting room. When I *did* get the key, I asked him to come with
me to the bathroom, but he refused. So, I did what I've done every
other time, which is to explain to him that I need to go to the
washroom, and he can either come with me or wait with the toys. He
opted for waiting with the toys. I'm not sure what else I can do - he's
big, heavy, and strong, and would have fought me tooth and nail had I
dragged him to the washroom - which doesn't lock from the inside, only
the outside, so that he could have left to go back to the toys (or play
with the elevator, or explore other offices) while I was on the toilet
.. . .

It's never been an issue before, but this time I came back from the
washroom to a screaming, crying toddler standing in the middle of the
waiting room, convinced his mother had abandoned him, and the three
office staff and the room full of waiting patients totally, pointedly
ignoring him (not that he's their responsibility, but since the office
staff have offered to watch him in the past in this situation, I
assumed it was a standing offer - it's the same women).

So I comforted him, under the disapproving gazes of the other patients,
and one of the office staff came over and started trying to push
pregnancy and parenting pamphlets and magazines on me ("do you have
this yet, dear?" "well, just take this one") - trying to tell me
something?

And then I found out I'd gained 9 lbs in the past month (out of the 21
lbs I've gained total in the pregnancy), and that the result of my GTT
was 7.7 - which is 140 by the scale I see most often on the net, so
right at the very top of acceptable. And when I went to book my next
appointment, the admin said, "so, same time next week?" Um, no, I'm
only 28 weeks! Next month, please! Surely I'm not *that* big yet.

I just left feeling fat and like a bit of a failure on the pregnant
woman and toddler mommy fronts. Measurements were spot on, bp 112/70,
and ds had a great time with the doppler and the bp cuff and
everything, and got a sticker, so wasn't horribly scarred by the
experience, but I still felt really off.

So, I guess I should further reduce my sugar intake (not that I'm
eating many sweets anyway), and I really don't know what to do about ds
and the bathroom issue for next time.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[Iuil]

"Melania" wrote
>
> So, I guess I should further reduce my sugar intake (not that I'm
> eating many sweets anyway), and I really don't know what to do about ds
> and the bathroom issue for next time.
>

It's the norm here to bring a first-morning sample with you. I just grab a
sample cup from the pile (usually in the bathroom), bring it home and put it
in a ziploc bag once filled. You can buy the sterile pots in the pharmacy
very cheaply if you can't/forget to get one to bring home from the office.

Jean

[Melania]

Iuil wrote:
> "Melania" wrote
> >
> > So, I guess I should further reduce my sugar intake (not that I'm
> > eating many sweets anyway), and I really don't know what to do
about ds
> > and the bathroom issue for next time.
> >
>
> It's the norm here to bring a first-morning sample with you. I just
grab a
> sample cup from the pile (usually in the bathroom), bring it home and
put it
> in a ziploc bag once filled. You can buy the sterile pots in the
pharmacy
> very cheaply if you can't/forget to get one to bring home from the
office.
>
> Jean

That would be a great solution. It's annoying enough that there's no
bathroom right in the doctor's office, but if there wasn't the whole
"waiting for the key" issue, then at least I could grab the sample cup
and zip right back out with him to the bathroom. And they don't store
the cups in the bathroom, but rather at the front desk. I should look
into getting some cups from the pharmacy - can't imagine they would
have a problem with me bringing in a morning sample from home.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[Lucy]

"Melania" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> So, I got to my doctor's office for my six-month checkup, and the first

Sorry you're feeling so low. If it makes you feel any better, I can totally
relate to your experience with your son. My DD is just a couple of months
older than him, and I often find it difficult to get her to cooperate with
me, so I know what you're saying about the dragging him to the washroom.

You're not a bad mommy at all.

Lucy

[Todd Gastaldo]

"Iuil" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Melania" wrote
>>
>> So, I guess I should further reduce my sugar intake (not that I'm
>> eating many sweets anyway), and I really don't know what to do about ds
>> and the bathroom issue for next time.
>>
>
> It's the norm here to bring a first-morning sample with you. I just grab
> a
> sample cup from the pile (usually in the bathroom), bring it home and put
> it
> in a ziploc bag once filled. You can buy the sterile pots in the pharmacy
> very cheaply if you can't/forget to get one to bring home from the office.
>
> Jean
>

Excellent idea.

I had a funny thing happen to me when I first started working in a private
medical laboratory after college years ago.

One fellow came in - and - as usual - I directed him to the restroom saying
that we needed a urine sample.

I said, "You can use the cups that are in the bathroom."

They were small cups - and he filled nearly every one! LOL!

Todd

PS Melania, I think the office staff should have been comforting your little
one - for his sake mainly - but also for the benefit of the other patients.
You were just going for a urine sample - it doesn't take THAT long - even
when you fill all the cups - LOL!

[sharalyns]

The only problem with that is that as urine sits for more than 30
minutes, it throws off all the tests (and yes even on the little
strips). The labs at all the hospitals I've ever worked at require you
to get a fresh sample (ie. to the lab in less than 30 minutes), or they
won't even run a simple UA as the data is skewed.

I would check with your doctor's office to see if a morning pee that is
older than 30 minutes will work.

Sharalyn
mom to Alexander James (9/21/01)

[[email protected]]

Melania wrote:

<snip>

Oh, you are SO not the worst Mommy ever. I am. I ate lead paint chips
with asbestos salsa. :)

We all have off days. Don't let it get you down.

Amy

[Melania]

Lucy wrote:
> "Melania" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
> > So, I got to my doctor's office for my six-month checkup, and the
first
>
> Sorry you're feeling so low. If it makes you feel any better, I can
totally
> relate to your experience with your son. My DD is just a couple of
months
> older than him, and I often find it difficult to get her to cooperate
with
> me, so I know what you're saying about the dragging him to the
washroom.
>
> You're not a bad mommy at all.
>
> Lucy

Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one . . .

Melania

[Melania]

wrote:
> Melania wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> Oh, you are SO not the worst Mommy ever. I am. I ate lead paint
chips
> with asbestos salsa. :)
>
> We all have off days. Don't let it get you down.
>
> Amy

Hah! I don't think you're the worst mommy either!! (and we still don't
know that there was lead in that paint, right?)

Now that I think about it, he's got a runny nose and cough this
morning. He was probably more likely to be upset since it turns out he
was coming down with a cold.

Fortunately, he and his little friend in the building both have the
cold, so we were able to play with them this morning (I don't like to
expose him to other kids when he's sick, generally). Hopefully he'll
get a good nap in today.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[Melania]

Todd Gastaldo wrote:
> "Iuil" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Melania" wrote
> >>
> >> So, I guess I should further reduce my sugar intake (not that I'm
> >> eating many sweets anyway), and I really don't know what to do
about ds
> >> and the bathroom issue for next time.
> >>
> >
> > It's the norm here to bring a first-morning sample with you. I
just grab
> > a
> > sample cup from the pile (usually in the bathroom), bring it home
and put
> > it
> > in a ziploc bag once filled. You can buy the sterile pots in the
pharmacy
> > very cheaply if you can't/forget to get one to bring home from the
office.
> >
> > Jean
> >
>
> Excellent idea.
>
> I had a funny thing happen to me when I first started working in a
private
> medical laboratory after college years ago.
>
> One fellow came in - and - as usual - I directed him to the restroom
saying
> that we needed a urine sample.
>
> I said, "You can use the cups that are in the bathroom."
>
> They were small cups - and he filled nearly every one! LOL!
>
> Todd

LOL!

>
> PS Melania, I think the office staff should have been comforting your
little
> one - for his sake mainly - but also for the benefit of the other
patients.
> You were just going for a urine sample - it doesn't take THAT long -
even
> when you fill all the cups - LOL!

I agree with this - I was gone for maybe 2-3 minutes. And it is a
familiar environment for him, now (he knows exactly where we are going
as soon as we get into the building, remembers the toys, the doctor,
etc).

Next time will be dh's first visit to this doctor, and from then on in
I think I'll try to make sure ds just comes with me to the bathroom. I
can make carrying the key his responsibility, or something (give the
boy a job and he's pleased as punch).

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[[email protected]]

Melania wrote:
> wrote:

> > Oh, you are SO not the worst Mommy ever. I am. I ate lead paint
> chips
> > with asbestos salsa. :)

> Hah! I don't think you're the worst mommy either!! (and we still
don't
> know that there was lead in that paint, right?)

No, we don't... but I knew it would make you laugh. :)

> Now that I think about it, he's got a runny nose and cough this
> morning. He was probably more likely to be upset since it turns out
he
> was coming down with a cold.

Well sure! That makes perfect sense.

> Fortunately, he and his little friend in the building both have the
> cold, so we were able to play with them this morning (I don't like to
> expose him to other kids when he's sick, generally). Hopefully he'll
> get a good nap in today.

I hope so too! Hope you're feeling better, as well...

Amy

[Melania]

wrote:
> Melania wrote:
> > wrote:
>
> > > Oh, you are SO not the worst Mommy ever. I am. I ate lead paint
> > chips
> > > with asbestos salsa. :)
>
> > Hah! I don't think you're the worst mommy either!! (and we still
> don't
> > know that there was lead in that paint, right?)
>
> No, we don't... but I knew it would make you laugh. :)
>
> > Now that I think about it, he's got a runny nose and cough this
> > morning. He was probably more likely to be upset since it turns out
> he
> > was coming down with a cold.
>
> Well sure! That makes perfect sense.
>
> > Fortunately, he and his little friend in the building both have the
> > cold, so we were able to play with them this morning (I don't like
to
> > expose him to other kids when he's sick, generally). Hopefully
he'll
> > get a good nap in today.
>
> I hope so too! Hope you're feeling better, as well...
>
> Amy

I am feeling better, Amy, thanks! And I asked the doc when she normally
discussed birth plans with patients (we haven't yet) and she said, "oh,
around 34 weeks. But why don't you get working on a birth plan now, and
you can bring that to me next time, so then I'll have time to go over
it and we can discuss it together." Which, after my crazy nightmare
that I got to the hospital and dh and the doctor weren't there, and
some sadistic OB resident strapped me down and doped me up, reassures
me that I will indeed be in control here!

Melania

[Leslie]

(((((Melania))))

I totally understand where you are coming from with the toddler
throwing a fit if he had to leave the toys. William can hardly be
called a toddler at this point and it can still be very hard and
embarrassing to make him do things in public if he doesn't want to.
You left your son in a place you thought he would be safe and happy and
you were not and are not a bad mother! If I had been there I would
have offered to watch him for you while you went to the bathroom.

Leslie, lucky enough to have a homeschooled 4th grader who watched the
3-year-old in the waiting room during the prenatal appointments

[[email protected]]

Melania wrote:

> I am feeling better, Amy, thanks! And I asked the doc when she
normally
> discussed birth plans with patients (we haven't yet) and she said,
"oh,
> around 34 weeks. But why don't you get working on a birth plan now,
and
> you can bring that to me next time, so then I'll have time to go over
> it and we can discuss it together." Which, after my crazy nightmare
> that I got to the hospital and dh and the doctor weren't there, and
> some sadistic OB resident strapped me down and doped me up, reassures
> me that I will indeed be in control here!

Aren't these pregnancy dreams a hoot?? I gave birth to a beautiful, 8
pound, blue and green parrot in one of mine. Lemme tell you,
breastfeeding was a trick! :) In another one, terrorists blew up all
of downtown, and only let me go when I swore to them that I would kill
myself after the birth of my child, if they would just let me live long
enough to have him. That one had me in a cold sweat for the rest of
the night.

Back to the waking world, my doctor told me that he'd be worried if I
weren't worried, which, paradoxically, helped me worry a little less.
(But the worries that I dropped were all of the "I'm bugging the
doctor..." variety.)

We'll get through this. :)

Amy

[Melania]

Leslie wrote:
> (((((Melania))))
>
> I totally understand where you are coming from with the toddler
> throwing a fit if he had to leave the toys. William can hardly be
> called a toddler at this point and it can still be very hard and
> embarrassing to make him do things in public if he doesn't want to.
> You left your son in a place you thought he would be safe and happy
and
> you were not and are not a bad mother! If I had been there I would
> have offered to watch him for you while you went to the bathroom.

Thanks, Leslie! There were no moms with kids there this time, but there
often are, so I shouldn't feel shy about enlisting someone for a minute
or two of kid-watching!

Melania

>
> Leslie, lucky enough to have a homeschooled 4th grader who watched
the
> 3-year-old in the waiting room during the prenatal appointments