Re: I was thinking...

[Tiffany]

"'Kate" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 26 Feb 2005 04:52:37 GMT, 'Kate > wrote:
>
>
> y'all... don't let me think late at night. It's dangerous. LOL
>
> Loveya!
> 'Kate
>

No.... fabulous post. I just am waiting for more time to reply with some
intelligent insight. :)

T

[Karen]

Tiffany wrote:
>
> No.... fabulous post. I just am waiting for more time to reply with
some
> intelligent insight. :)

I ponder about this subject sometimes. I think it's hard being the
oldest. In high school, I recall having a 3-minute time limit to use
the phone, and then when my younger sister was in high school, she had
a half-an-hour time limit, and my youngest sister got her own phone
number.

Karen

[CME]

"'Kate" > wrote in message
...
> On 28 Feb 2005 12:31:53 -0800, "Karen" > wrote:
>
>>
>>Tiffany wrote:
>>>
>>> No.... fabulous post. I just am waiting for more time to reply with
>>some
>>> intelligent insight. :)
>>
>>I ponder about this subject sometimes. I think it's hard being the
>>oldest. In high school, I recall having a 3-minute time limit to use
>>the phone, and then when my younger sister was in high school, she had
>>a half-an-hour time limit, and my youngest sister got her own phone
>>number.
>>
>>Karen
>
> My sister broke all the rules too. She did so much better in life.
>
> grrr... and I really do love her. She'd be my best friend if we lived
> closer or were better at calling.
>
> 'kate
>

I'm an only child, what does that make me again? Self-absorbed? lol

Christine

[Karen]

CME wrote:
> I'm an only child, what does that make me again? Self-absorbed? lol

I think an only child is similar to a first-born... the
primadonna-syndrome?

(I was an only child until my sister came along when I was seven who
certainly changed my tune.)

:-)

Karen

[Alex Nemeth]

On Sat, 26 Feb 2005 04:52:37 GMT, 'Kate > wrote:

Thinking can be dangerous ya know :-)



>about the kinds of people that we attract in our lives and how that
>applies to a class discussion on the roles people take on in families.
>I wonder if we find the niche we fill because that's what's left.
>First come, first serve... the oldest always gets the best, the last
>born is the perpetual baby of the family ... or so my brother reminded
>me today. It's his birthday.... I asked if he was still 30 something.
>I knew he was... just wanted to let him enjoy still being thirty
>instead of being nearly 40. :-)
>.... as she rambles on and on.
>
>The thing is... only and first borns have a lot in common. So do
>second born children. Second born and first born have to make room
>for number three. Each child brings his or her unique self -
>personality and all. But I don't think that there's a heck of a lot of
>variability. Oldest as an introvert. Oldest as an extravert. Second
>born as an introvert, etc... and all the combinations that are
>possible. Oldest girl, oldest boy, becoming a middle child - only boy
>or middle child only girl vs. all girls or all boys.
>
>So here's the question... are we who we are in our families by chance?
>And then... what happens when we look for a mate? Have children? Are
>our roles set in stone by that time and we pull people into our lives
>to recreat our family of origin because that's how family looks to us?
>That's how we experienced it? Do marriages between similarly numbered
>siblings (second child - boy and second child - girl for example)
>compete more? What if the oldest boy, first born and oldest girl,
>second born marry? Wouldn't you think that they'd have a really easy
>marriage? Or a "baby" boy and oldest girl? Or would gender role
>socialization affect that too much? Would the oldest girl/wife be more
>apt to tolerate "baby" boy/husband's transgressions in a marriage?
>
>I married a second/third born (his older sisters were twins - mentally
>retarded and given to the state to raise when they were diagnosed). I
>was a first born female/second born. He was fond of saying, "What
>about me?" as if I controlled things. I was like, "um... what about
>you and huh?" Eventually, he began to look very selfish to me.. only
>caring about himself and his needs and how I wasn't meeting them. I
>wonder if that wasn't written the minute we resumed our most
>comfortable roles with each other.... the role we were born into in
>our birth families. And if so... what about our kids? My youngest and
>my sister (also the third child and a female) are so very much alike
>that my daughter brings up issues from my childhood without knowing.
>They're both take-charge, high energy, articulate arguers.
>

Interesting concept. Could it all be related in the order in which
they were born? Looking at my situtation, I'm the oldest of 4 boys,
my youngest brother was born when I was 18. We are the strangest mix
around.
I have a 2yr degree - "ok" social skills
My next brother never made it bast the 10th grade, is a social
butterfly
Ny next brother has an MBA, Ok job, and no social skills
My youngest brother -- Time will tell recently been in a serious car
wreck, now just starting to relearn how to walk. Already has a GED

We're all pretty much laid back.


I was married - 2 children Girl & Boy, My ex had another daughter by
her 2nd husband ( I was the first ) . In some ways she's almost like
my own
My next brother was married 1 daughter , & twin boys
My next 2 brothers are not married nor do they have any children.

My Ex was the 5th of 7 children ( 3 older brothers 1 older sister , 2
younger sisters) ( FYI, I did date the older sister first )

Her mom died when she was 15
My mothers mom died when she was 14.


My mother was the 3rd youngest of 4 ( 3 older sisters and 1 younger
brother )
My father was the 3 youngest of 4 ( 2 older sisters, 1 younger sister
)





>Back to the future spouse thing, though... it's worth looking into
>when you're dating. "Baby" boys may be looking for older sisters to
>take care of them ... they may become that when they relax in the
>marriage. Or not. Depends on how that person is in his birth family,
>I suppose.
>
>New rule - see them in their family of origin. Ask about brothers,
>sisters, parents' marriage, early deaths, drug use, STD's, children,
>college...
>
>'Kate - big sis.