childcare centre dilemma

[Jean]

Dear all,

Previously, DD (3yo) has been taken care by nanny, 7.30am to 7.30pm
daily as I am working. Starting this month, DD has been going to a
childcare centre for the morning session only. After lunch, the nanny
will fetch her. I will pick DD from nanny's home in the evening. The
problems I am facing are:

1) struggle every morning. DD refuse to go to childcare. Any
solution?

2) Distraction from nanny when she visits school. DD will cry.

3) Am thinking of putting her full day in childcare and do away
with the nanny. But not sure if she is able to cope considering her
current reaction towards childcare. My thought is that without the
nanny attachment, probably she will be able to adjust and focus on the
childcare environment and get adjusted soon. Please comment. For
working moms, how long did you child take to adjust to childcare
centre.

Thank you in advance.

Jean

[Scott Lindstrom]

Jean wrote:
> Dear all,
>
> Previously, DD (3yo) has been taken care by nanny, 7.30am to 7.30pm
> daily as I am working. Starting this month, DD has been going to a
> childcare centre for the morning session only. After lunch, the nanny
> will fetch her. I will pick DD from nanny's home in the evening. The
> problems I am facing are:
>
> 1) struggle every morning. DD refuse to go to childcare. Any
> solution?
>
> 2) Distraction from nanny when she visits school. DD will cry.
>
> 3) Am thinking of putting her full day in childcare and do away
> with the nanny. But not sure if she is able to cope considering her
> current reaction towards childcare. My thought is that without the
> nanny attachment, probably she will be able to adjust and focus on the
> childcare environment and get adjusted soon. Please comment. For
> working moms, how long did you child take to adjust to childcare
> centre.

DD was at an in-home facility and she adjusted there
very well. But DD is pretty outgoing and flexible,
moreso perhaps than your DD. The transition to a
center-type facility was at age 4, and she had friends
there already, and again the transition was speedy.
DS, who is less outgoing and more inclined to play
by himself, also adjusted fairly rapidly to any
childcare changes we threw his way (there were 3
of them over 4 years).

That said, both occasionally weren't very cooperative
in getting out the door. (That's still true at ages
10 and 7). Not much you can do but firmly help them
get ready, esp. at age 3.

As for the crying: why does DD cry? Does she cry
to reduce stress? Is she crying because she knows
she can cry around the nanny but not necessarily at
the center? DD and DS often had crying jags after
getting home from daycare. We figured it was a
releasing of the stress they generated trying to be
"good" for their daytime caregivers.

Not a working Mom, but my 2 cents.

Scott DD 10 and DS 7