Post Natal Depression... my ongoing story

[Daye]

Hello all...

It has been a while since I have updated you all with my ongoing
battle with Post Natal Depression (PND). For those who are new to the
group, you can read my original post about my PND here:

<http://groups-beta.google.com/group/misc.kids.pregnancy/msg/f1048e092bb81cf1?dmode=source>

I am currently on Prozac and it seems to be helping. I am still
having really bad days and problems sleeping. But I am doing better.
I notice that I am a better mother and a better wife. My impact on
the family has lessened. I am getting better, but I am not well.

I post my story because to me, this is part of my recovery. I want
women to be aware of the warning signs of PND and to know that there
is help out there. You don't need to suffer in silence. I hope that
none of the pregnant women on this group suffers PND, but if you do
get it, I want you to be able to recognize it and get it treated
early.

These are the symptoms of the 3 levels of PND (Source:
<http://www.medicinenet.com/depression/page3.htm>):

"Postpartum depression (PPD) is a condition that describes a range of
physical and emotional changes that many mothers can have after having
a baby. PPD can be treated with medication and counseling. Talk with
your health care provider right away if you think you have PPD.

There are three types of PPD women can have after giving birth:
The so called "baby blues" happen in many women in the days right
after childbirth. A new mother can have sudden mood swings, such as
feeling very happy and then feeling very sad. She may cry for no
reason and can feel impatient, irritable, restless, anxious, lonely,
and sad. The baby blues may last only a few hours or as long as 1 to 2
weeks after delivery. The baby blues do not always require treatment
from a health care provider. Often, joining a support group of new
moms or talking with other moms helps.

Postpartum depression (PPD) can happen a few days or even months after
childbirth. PPD can happen after the birth of any child, not just the
first child. A woman can have feelings similar to the baby blues -
sadness, despair, anxiety, irritability - but she feels them much more
strongly than she would with the baby blues. PPD often keeps a woman
from doing the things she needs to do every day. When a woman's
ability to function is affected, this is a sure sign that she needs to
see her health care provider right away. If a woman does not get
treatment for PPD, symptoms can get worse and last for as long as 1
year. While PPD is a serious condition, it can be treated with
medication and counseling.

Postpartum psychosis is a very serious mental illness that can affect
new mothers. This illness can happen quickly, often within the first 3
months after childbirth. Women can lose touch with reality, often
having auditory hallucinations (hearing things that aren't actually
happening, like a person talking) and delusions (seeing things
differently from what they are). Visual hallucinations (seeing things
that aren't there) are less common. Other symptoms include insomnia
(not being able to sleep), feeling agitated (unsettled) and angry, and
strange feelings and behaviors. Women who have postpartum psychosis
need treatment right away and almost always need medication. Sometimes
women are put into the hospital because they are at risk for hurting
themselves or someone else."

As always, if anyone wants to talk to me more about my story or needs
support for their own PND, please email me on


Remember there is help and support out there. Do NOT be afraid to ask
for it.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Andrea S]

"Daye" > wrote in message
...
> Hello all...
>
> It has been a while since I have updated you all with my ongoing
> battle with Post Natal Depression (PND). For those who are new to the
> group, you can read my original post about my PND here:
>
> <http://groups-beta.google.com/group/misc.kids.pregnancy/msg/f1048e092bb81cf1?dmode=source>
>
> I am currently on Prozac and it seems to be helping. I am still
> having really bad days and problems sleeping. But I am doing better.
> I notice that I am a better mother and a better wife. My impact on
> the family has lessened. I am getting better, but I am not well.
>
> I post my story because to me, this is part of my recovery. I want
> women to be aware of the warning signs of PND and to know that there
> is help out there. You don't need to suffer in silence. I hope that
> none of the pregnant women on this group suffers PND, but if you do
> get it, I want you to be able to recognize it and get it treated
> early.
>
> These are the symptoms of the 3 levels of PND (Source:
> <http://www.medicinenet.com/depression/page3.htm>):
>
> "Postpartum depression (PPD) is a condition that describes a range of
> physical and emotional changes that many mothers can have after having
> a baby. PPD can be treated with medication and counseling. Talk with
> your health care provider right away if you think you have PPD.
>
> There are three types of PPD women can have after giving birth:
> The so called "baby blues" happen in many women in the days right
> after childbirth. A new mother can have sudden mood swings, such as
> feeling very happy and then feeling very sad. She may cry for no
> reason and can feel impatient, irritable, restless, anxious, lonely,
> and sad. The baby blues may last only a few hours or as long as 1 to 2
> weeks after delivery. The baby blues do not always require treatment
> from a health care provider. Often, joining a support group of new
> moms or talking with other moms helps.
>
> Postpartum depression (PPD) can happen a few days or even months after
> childbirth. PPD can happen after the birth of any child, not just the
> first child. A woman can have feelings similar to the baby blues -
> sadness, despair, anxiety, irritability - but she feels them much more
> strongly than she would with the baby blues. PPD often keeps a woman
> from doing the things she needs to do every day. When a woman's
> ability to function is affected, this is a sure sign that she needs to
> see her health care provider right away. If a woman does not get
> treatment for PPD, symptoms can get worse and last for as long as 1
> year. While PPD is a serious condition, it can be treated with
> medication and counseling.
>
> Postpartum psychosis is a very serious mental illness that can affect
> new mothers. This illness can happen quickly, often within the first 3
> months after childbirth. Women can lose touch with reality, often
> having auditory hallucinations (hearing things that aren't actually
> happening, like a person talking) and delusions (seeing things
> differently from what they are). Visual hallucinations (seeing things
> that aren't there) are less common. Other symptoms include insomnia
> (not being able to sleep), feeling agitated (unsettled) and angry, and
> strange feelings and behaviors. Women who have postpartum psychosis
> need treatment right away and almost always need medication. Sometimes
> women are put into the hospital because they are at risk for hurting
> themselves or someone else."
>
> As always, if anyone wants to talk to me more about my story or needs
> support for their own PND, please email me on
>
>
> Remember there is help and support out there. Do NOT be afraid to ask
> for it.
>
> --
> Daye
> Mommy to DD3 and DS1
> Chump Change for Major Change
> http://www.change4change.tk

Nice to know I am not alone... I have had a vicious cycle of antenatal
depression followed by postnatal depression. I actually feel really crappy
now... I really wanted kids but not all of this.

Andrea (UK) mom of 5 and edd 14th October.

[Mamma Mia]

>
> Remember there is help and support out there. Do NOT be afraid to ask
> for it.
>
> --
> Daye
> Mommy to DD3 and DS1
> Chump Change for Major Change
> http://www.change4change.tk

good on you for sharing that daye. I know we are kind of all anonymous, but
still not easy to do i am sure.

Everyone being more informed about PND can only be a good thing, so thanks
again, and i hope i never need to use your resources.

best wishes to you

christine

[sharalyns]

((hugs)) Daye! Thank you for sharing. Your story is an important one
for people to hear.

Sharalyn
mom to Alexander James (9/21/01)

[A&G&K&H]

"Daye" > wrote in message
...
> Hello all...
>
> It has been a while since I have updated you all with my ongoing
> battle with Post Natal Depression (PND). For those who are new to the
> group, you can read my original post about my PND here:
>
>
<http://groups-beta.google.com/group/misc.kids.pregnancy/msg/f1048e092bb81cf
1?dmode=source>
>
> I am currently on Prozac and it seems to be helping. I am still
> having really bad days and problems sleeping. But I am doing better.
> I notice that I am a better mother and a better wife. My impact on
> the family has lessened. I am getting better, but I am not well.
>
Thanks for the update Daye - I've been wondering how you are.
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
DS 20th August 2004

[Melania]

Daye wrote:
> Hello all...
>
> It has been a while since I have updated you all with my ongoing
> battle with Post Natal Depression (PND). For those who are new to
the
> group, you can read my original post about my PND here:
>
>
<http://groups-beta.google.com/group/misc.kids.pregnancy/msg/f1048e092bb81cf1?dmode=source>
>
> I am currently on Prozac and it seems to be helping. I am still
> having really bad days and problems sleeping. But I am doing better.
> I notice that I am a better mother and a better wife. My impact on
> the family has lessened. I am getting better, but I am not well.
>
> I post my story because to me, this is part of my recovery. I want
> women to be aware of the warning signs of PND and to know that there
> is help out there. You don't need to suffer in silence. I hope that
> none of the pregnant women on this group suffers PND, but if you do
> get it, I want you to be able to recognize it and get it treated
> early.
>
> These are the symptoms of the 3 levels of PND (Source:
> <http://www.medicinenet.com/depression/page3.htm>):
>
> "Postpartum depression (PPD) is a condition that describes a range of
> physical and emotional changes that many mothers can have after
having
> a baby. PPD can be treated with medication and counseling. Talk with
> your health care provider right away if you think you have PPD.
>
> There are three types of PPD women can have after giving birth:
> The so called "baby blues" happen in many women in the days right
> after childbirth. A new mother can have sudden mood swings, such as
> feeling very happy and then feeling very sad. She may cry for no
> reason and can feel impatient, irritable, restless, anxious, lonely,
> and sad. The baby blues may last only a few hours or as long as 1 to
2
> weeks after delivery. The baby blues do not always require treatment
> from a health care provider. Often, joining a support group of new
> moms or talking with other moms helps.
>
> Postpartum depression (PPD) can happen a few days or even months
after
> childbirth. PPD can happen after the birth of any child, not just the
> first child. A woman can have feelings similar to the baby blues -
> sadness, despair, anxiety, irritability - but she feels them much
more
> strongly than she would with the baby blues. PPD often keeps a woman
> from doing the things she needs to do every day. When a woman's
> ability to function is affected, this is a sure sign that she needs
to
> see her health care provider right away. If a woman does not get
> treatment for PPD, symptoms can get worse and last for as long as 1
> year. While PPD is a serious condition, it can be treated with
> medication and counseling.
>
> Postpartum psychosis is a very serious mental illness that can affect
> new mothers. This illness can happen quickly, often within the first
3
> months after childbirth. Women can lose touch with reality, often
> having auditory hallucinations (hearing things that aren't actually
> happening, like a person talking) and delusions (seeing things
> differently from what they are). Visual hallucinations (seeing things
> that aren't there) are less common. Other symptoms include insomnia
> (not being able to sleep), feeling agitated (unsettled) and angry,
and
> strange feelings and behaviors. Women who have postpartum psychosis
> need treatment right away and almost always need medication.
Sometimes
> women are put into the hospital because they are at risk for hurting
> themselves or someone else."
>
> As always, if anyone wants to talk to me more about my story or needs
> support for their own PND, please email me on
>
>
> Remember there is help and support out there. Do NOT be afraid to
ask
> for it.
>
> --
> Daye
> Mommy to DD3 and DS1
> Chump Change for Major Change
> http://www.change4change.tk

Thanks for posting this, Daye. I had mild antenatal depression for the
first 20 weeks of pregnancy with #1 (just unable to focus, lots of days
where I couldn't even get dressed in the morning, calling in "sick" to
work all the time, crying for no reason), and I never even told my
doctor (GP, not baby doctor). When I got pregnant with this one, he
asked how I was feeling emotionally, and I said, "fine, not like last
time!" And he chewed me out for not having told him with the first one.
I just kept telling myself "it's nothing" - but it really impacted my
performance at work and killed my quality of life, for half the
pregnancy. I had pretty wicked baby blues for the first couple of weeks
after ds was born, but had loads of support and was fortunate that it
was short-lived.

We often play down depression or hide it, IME. I had a housemate who
was suicidal and depressed, and I had no knowledge of the depression
till her last suicide attempt (after which she finally got help). She's
since had a baby herself and is a real advocate for awareness about
depression. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and for
urging women to seek help if they are experiencing this.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[Daye]

On Mon, 14 Mar 2005 08:47:18 GMT, "Andrea S"
> wrote:

>Nice to know I am not alone... I have had a vicious cycle of antenatal
>depression followed by postnatal depression. I actually feel really crappy
>now... I really wanted kids but not all of this.

Andrea,

Thank you for bringing up antenatal depression! I forgot to mention
that. Depression while pregnant is sometimes worse because there
aren't many meds that you can take when pregnant, if you need them.

I have had a hell of a time with my PND. I got it with both kids. I
have had a tubal now, so no more children for me... well, unless I get
a surprise. But I would go through all this again and more to have
the 2 wonderful children that I have. They can and do bring me such
joy. They love me, and sometimes that is just what I need to make me
feel better.

Having said that, I don't think I could do it again, which is why I
had the tubal.

If you need any support with your depression, please email me.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Daye]

On Mon, 14 Mar 2005 22:25:23 +1100, "Mamma Mia" >
wrote:

>good on you for sharing that daye. I know we are kind of all anonymous, but
>still not easy to do i am sure.

It isn't easy in many ways because of the extreme nature of my PND,
but I feel that every pregnant woman needs to know that it *could*
happen to them. If it does, I want them to know that they are not
alone and there is help.

>Everyone being more informed about PND can only be a good thing, so thanks
>again, and i hope i never need to use your resources.

I try to help inform as many people as I can about PND. I hope that
you never need my resources either. However, if you do get PND, do
not hesitate to contact me for help and support.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Daye]

On 14 Mar 2005 08:51:01 -0800, "sharalyns" >
wrote:

>((hugs)) Daye! Thank you for sharing. Your story is an important one
>for people to hear.

Thank you for the hugs! I really do need them. I am just doing what
I can to let women know that they are not alone in this.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Daye]

On Tue, 15 Mar 2005 11:25:05 +1000, "A&G&K&H"
> wrote:

>Thanks for the update Daye - I've been wondering how you are.

I got your email, and I have been meaning to answer it, but I am sure
you understand why I haven't.

I appreciate all the support that you have given me. It has really
meant a lot to me. I have told my DH about you. We both are grateful
for your support.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Daye]

On 14 Mar 2005 18:07:09 -0800, "Melania" > wrote:

>I just kept telling myself "it's nothing" - but it really impacted my
>performance at work and killed my quality of life, for half the
>pregnancy. I had pretty wicked baby blues for the first couple of weeks
>after ds was born, but had loads of support and was fortunate that it
>was short-lived.

I think that is the a big problem. Women think it is nothing. For
most, it is a mild thing, and a little help and support will make it
go away quickly. For others like me, long term help and support is
needed.

Having said all that, if it is mild, moderate or severe, if you think
you have PND, PLEASE talk to your doctor or someone you trust (you can
even email me). You don't have to suffer alone.

>We often play down depression or hide it, IME. I had a housemate who
>was suicidal and depressed, and I had no knowledge of the depression
>till her last suicide attempt (after which she finally got help). She's
>since had a baby herself and is a real advocate for awareness about
>depression.

I agree. I belong to a PND Support Group. There are women there who
haven't even told their parents or in-laws that they have PND. Around
other people, they paste a smile on their face and pretend that
everything is okay. There is a stigma attached to depression. I am
trying my best to remove that stigma. Depression can kill.

>Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and for
>urging women to seek help if they are experiencing this.

I am just doing my part in helping people realize that they are not
alone. I find that when I talk about it happening to me that people
are more open to talk about their own experiences. I know that a
couple of women sought help because I was open about my PND. I am
very glad that I am able to help. I just know how alone you can feel
when you are going through this. If other women realize that other
people have the same problem, maybe... just maybe... they will get the
help that they need.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[A&G&K&H]

"Daye" > wrote in message
...
> On Tue, 15 Mar 2005 11:25:05 +1000, "A&G&K&H"
> > wrote:
>
> >Thanks for the update Daye - I've been wondering how you are.
>
> I got your email, and I have been meaning to answer it, but I am sure
> you understand why I haven't.
>
> I appreciate all the support that you have given me. It has really
> meant a lot to me. I have told my DH about you. We both are grateful
> for your support.
>
Anytime matey.
You write when you feel like it. ... I just like to know if you are OK.
hugs
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
DS 20th August 2004

[Andrea S]

"Daye" wrote in message > On Mon, 14 Mar 2005 08:47:18 GMT, "Andrea S"
wrote:
>
>>Nice to know I am not alone... I have had a vicious cycle of antenatal
>>depression followed by postnatal depression. I actually feel really crappy
>>now... I really wanted kids but not all of this.
>
> Andrea,
>
> Thank you for bringing up antenatal depression! I forgot to mention
> that. Depression while pregnant is sometimes worse because there
> aren't many meds that you can take when pregnant, if you need them.
>
> I have had a hell of a time with my PND. I got it with both kids. I
> have had a tubal now, so no more children for me... well, unless I get
> a surprise. But I would go through all this again and more to have
> the 2 wonderful children that I have. They can and do bring me such
> joy. They love me, and sometimes that is just what I need to make me
> feel better.
>
> Having said that, I don't think I could do it again, which is why I
> had the tubal.
>
> If you need any support with your depression, please email me.
>
> --
> Daye

Thanks very much for that Daye. I was offered meds with the last pregnancy
but had to wait till I was 20 weeks when the baby was developed, then I
decided against it because they couldn't promise any ill effects on the
baby.
I like you adore my kids.. I always wanted kids.
I have had it with each of the 5 pregnancies and 5 babies, but only had it
treated after number 5, it worked so well for 3 months then I went back to
square one. They upped the doseage but then I couldn't function as the room
just spun constantly. I am considering going back on meds as soon as this
one is born, and I hope it helps. Having 6 kids I cannot care for just isn't
an option.

Many thanks again,

Andrea (UK) mom of 5 and edd 14th October.

[Daye]

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 07:21:55 GMT, "Andrea S"
> wrote:

>Thanks very much for that Daye. I was offered meds with the last pregnancy
>but had to wait till I was 20 weeks when the baby was developed, then I
>decided against it because they couldn't promise any ill effects on the
>baby.

That is another problem with antenatal depression. There are meds
that you can take, but there are risks associated with it.

Looking back, I think I had antenatal depression in last 2 months of
my pregnancy, but I didn't recognize it. I wouldn't have taken
anything for it anyway though. I, like you, wouldn't have risked the
baby. I would have just dealt with it.

Andrea, I hope that you get the help you need once the baby is born.
However, if you just need someone to talk to or listen, you are always
welcome to email me. I will support you in the best way I know how.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk

[Daye]

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 08:23:34 +1000, "A&G&K&H"
> wrote:

>Anytime matey.
>You write when you feel like it. ... I just like to know if you are OK.

I appreciate that you worry about me. To me, worry equates to caring.
If you didn't care, you wouldn't worry.

I think I am okay. I am a lot better than I have been anyway. I am
still not well, and I am still having really bad days.

I will share a story with you (and everyone else :)... When I first
got my PND, I explained to my DD that I was sick. I didn't go into a
lot of explanation, but I told her as much truth as I thought she
needed to know. So she knew that I was sick, and she would give me
kisses when I was sick to make me feel better. We called it "toddler
medicine" -- that is the best medicine in the world. Anyway, when I
was having a bad day, I would stay in bed most of the day, and my DD
would ask me, "Mommy, are you sick?" When I was having a difficult
time dealing with something, she would ask, "Mommy, are you sick?"
She asked me this a lot. Once I would tell her that yes, mommy was
sick. She would kiss me and she would be okay with me being sick. I
noticed the other day that she hasn't asked me if I was sick in
probably 2 months. To me, that is a clear sign that I am getting
better.

Again, thanks for all your support.

--
Daye
Mommy to DD3 and DS1
Chump Change for Major Change
http://www.change4change.tk