View Full Version : Re: being late
Robyn Kozierok
August 28th 03, 08:07 PM
In article >,
Karen G > wrote:
>
>As a parent, how do you handle being late and how do you choose what you
>can be late for?
>
Well, for the most part I figure out before signing up for an activity
whether anything else will impact our ability to get there (and pick
up) on time, and if so whether this will be a problem or not. That
determination depends on the rules and structure of the activity -- you
can always ask if necessary. As my children get older, I find there
are more things that I can drop them off a little early for or pick them
up a little late from without it being an issue the way it is for most
preschool programs (where the children require more active supervision).
Depending on what your school's drop-off routine is like, you may find
that children arrive throughout the first 15 or 20 minutes, and that
this is expected and worked into their routine. Or you may find that
they want to start circle time precisely at 8:30 (though if this were
really the case, I'd expect they would open their doors earlier than
that to allow time for the children to arrive, remove outerwear if
necessary, say their goodbyes, etc.).
We have a "near" conflict this year, as my older children's school and
my toddler's preschool both begin at 8:30. However, the older children
start their morning meeting at 8:30 and are expected to actually arrive
by 8:20 so that they can be ready on time. Also the doors open at 8.
So in fact I will be able to drop them off early, then go handle
preschool drop-off in a more leisurely manner since my 2.5yo will need
help with outerwear and may need more protracted goodbye routines since
this will be his first experience away from us. (And then, one day a
week, I will go *back* to the older children's school to volunteer for
the rest of the morning. The older kids will do their meeting while I
am dropping off Micro, and I'll be back by the time they really need
me.)
--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
Iowacookiemom
August 28th 03, 09:38 PM
Karen G wrote in >:
> I have some overlapping schedules for the first time this fall as my
> oldest child starts preschool and my middle child is involved in
> activities. Wednesday morning they have to be at different places at
> the same time. I looked at this problem in two ways--can one of the
> child arrive early, and what are the consequences of being late.
(snip)
> preschool class where drop off is already going to be complicated, I
> think the consequences of being late will be significant. (Although I
> wonder how many people will be consistently late.) Obviously, if the
> middle child misses 10 minutes of dance class it won't be the end of the
> world, but I don't want to make it a habit.
(snip)
> As a parent, how do you handle being late and how do you choose what you
> can be late for?
Lateness is a hot button for me, especially with a spouse who is habitually
tardy (ask me some time about his "window of on time" concept). For one thing,
I think it can be perceived as arrogant (not to imply that you're being
arrogant, Karen!) because it basically says, "my time is more important than
yours." You might take that concept and look at your situation -- in which
case will you be most likely to use the time of others the least wisely? If
dance class will start on time without your child, then you aren't having much
of an impact on that. OTOH, if the preschool was starting at a more leisurely
pace thant it seems to be doing, it would be easy to pick that one to be late
to. In other words, the impact it has on the child's activity is one
consideration, of course -- but another one is the impact it has on the
class/other children/teacher involved in the activity.
Now, with an ADD kid who has a hard time organizing himself in the morning and
can easily become sidetracked by, oh, say, one of the dogs sleeping in an
especially-cute position, it's a wonder my son and husband get out the door at
all.
But. I go to work early so that I can get home soon after school ends. So I'm
not here when they leave, I don't usually witness the nail-biting suspense of
trying to get out the door, and I don't drive them both nuts with my nagging
along the way. (Honestly, these last few weeks when I've been between jobs, I'm
a nervous wreck by the time they leave the house!)
They do usually make it. Barely. Henry would probably be better off if he got
to school a little early, in time to get himself organized, but he seems to
have learned how to make it work, and who knows -- if he were there early
enough to get distracted it might be worse.
Another factor is impact on your kids beyond the loss of instructional time:
Henry gets embarrassed if he is late -- would that be true for either of your
kids? If so, that might tip the scales or you might address it by being sure
the school and the kid know that it's unavoidable, having some sort of
agreement that the child will always be a few minutes late so that the child is
not queried about it.
-Dawn
(Who, the handful of times I've been late for picking Henry up from something,
has been met with an incredulous, "*You're* late? I was sure it was going to
be Dad.")
Cathy Kearns
August 28th 03, 11:07 PM
"Karen G" > wrote in message
...
> I have some overlapping schedules for the first time this fall as my
> oldest child starts preschool and my middle child is involved in
> activities. Wednesday morning they have to be at different places at
> the same time. I looked at this problem in two ways--can one of the
> child arrive early, and what are the consequences of being late.
>
> In both cases, a dance class and preschool, the doors are not open until
> the exact time. The dance class has a limited number of children
> (usually about 4 to 6), so it is really easy to get started on time. I
> was surprised that the preschool operated with the same
> paradigm--particularly for a class of 20 children.
> As a parent, how do you handle being late and how do you choose what you
> can be late for?
I was thinking hard about this, as my kids are now in 4th grade
and high school and have been in activities and pre schools
since they were small, and I came to a startling conclusion.
I just never signed up for two things that started at the same
time! Or maybe I did, but when I signed up I knew the
carpool beforehand. We now have a whatever gets in the
family calendar first rule. If there is already an activity
at say 4pm, and a second child is invited to an activity
at the same time, they can make their own arrangements
to get there. But when they were small, we just didn't
do that.
Kevin Karplus
August 29th 03, 12:53 AM
In article >, H Schinske wrote:
> wrote:
>
>>For the
>>preschool class where drop off is already going to be complicated, I
>>think the consequences of being late will be significant.
>
> At my son's preschool it wasn't a problem at all. The only time it was crucial
> to get the child there right on time was when there were field trips, or the
> parent was in the classroom (it was a co-op and all parents were there a
> couple-three times a term). People often showed up late for whatever reason.
>
> A dance class would be quite different. I would put that first in terms of
> getting the child there right on time.
The preschool my son went to had very strict earliest arrival and
latest departure times, but you could drop off and pick up at any time
within the day (except for scheduled outings, of course). It was
completely standard for some kids to come at 7:30 and others at 9:30.
In such a setting, there is no notion of "on-time" for drop off,
though there definitely was for pickup with substantial late fees if
you made the staff stay past their normal quitting time. At one point
we paid for a full-day slot, even though we only needed or used a half
day, because there were no half-day slots left.
It may have helped that the preschool was associated with the
university, and most of the parents were students or faculty with
irregular schedules. A preschool associated with 9-5 employer may have
more rigid rules.
A dance class is a different matter, with a short period and
substantial disruption if a student who comes late and needs to have
an explanation repeated. I'd say this was an easy call---one needs to
be on-time for the dance class, but the preschool can be flexible.
--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Computer Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.
chiam margalit
August 29th 03, 11:32 AM
"Cathy Kearns" > wrote in message >...
>
> I was thinking hard about this, as my kids are now in 4th grade
> and high school and have been in activities and pre schools
> since they were small, and I came to a startling conclusion.
> I just never signed up for two things that started at the same
> time! Or maybe I did, but when I signed up I knew the
> carpool beforehand. We now have a whatever gets in the
> family calendar first rule. If there is already an activity
> at say 4pm, and a second child is invited to an activity
> at the same time, they can make their own arrangements
> to get there. But when they were small, we just didn't
> do that.
I have to agree with Kathy. In my many years of parenting, we've never
had a scheduling conflict. Last year, when my kids went to two
different schools and got out at two different times, I switched the
times in my head once or twice, and was home expecting to see one kid
and the other was there, but we just never had had a conflict. One
thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
other kid's activity. Since we're not big on activities anyhow, that's
always been very easy to follow. This year, DS is doing basketball and
lacrosse, DD is doing track. They both will take the late bus home 2X
week (leaves school at 5:20) on the same days, so they'll have each
other to walk the 1/2 block from the bus stop.
Both kids have Hebrew tutoring 2 afternoons a week, but that's
together, so no conflict there. That's about it!
When my kids were in preschool, and all through their schooling there
has been before and after school programming which should alleviate
any time conflicts. Their preschool opened at 8, but you could bring
them at 7 if you paid for the time. It closed at 3 or 6, depending on
what program you signed up for. Being early or late wasn't really an
issue.
Marjorie
Hillary Israeli
August 29th 03, 02:55 PM
In >,
Kevin Karplus > wrote:
*The preschool my son went to had very strict earliest arrival and
*latest departure times, but you could drop off and pick up at any time
*within the day (except for scheduled outings, of course). It was
*completely standard for some kids to come at 7:30 and others at 9:30.
*In such a setting, there is no notion of "on-time" for drop off,
Wow. Is that typical of preschools?? Our preschool program (9-12) starts
at 9 am, and that's when you are supposed to have the kid there. I mean,
they don't give you demerits for being late or anything :), but the kid
misses out and the teachers don't really like it if you're late. I know
they "spoke with" a neighbor of mine who was consistently late (because
she had to drop off her other kid elsewhere first) because they felt her
son was missing out and that it was disruptive for him to come in, as he
often did, in the middle of story time. I kind of thought most preschools
would be like that but of course I only have direct experience with two
preschools one of which I no longer remember very well 30 years later :)
Of course, IMO preschool lateness isn't the end of the world and in the
OPs situation, I'd drop the kid off late.
*It may have helped that the preschool was associated with the
*university, and most of the parents were students or faculty with
*irregular schedules. A preschool associated with 9-5 employer may have
*more rigid rules.
I'm so far out of the loop, it's not even funny. Employers or universities
have preschools associated with them? I have heard of employer-based
daycare, but not preschools. I had no idea... <sigh>
h.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)
Robyn Kozierok
August 29th 03, 03:03 PM
In article >,
chiam margalit > wrote:
>One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
>other kid's activity.
Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
(I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
--Robyn
Chris Himes
August 29th 03, 03:09 PM
Karen G > wrote in message >...
> I have some overlapping schedules for the first time this fall as my
> oldest child starts preschool and my middle child is involved in
> activities. Wednesday morning they have to be at different places at
> the same time. I looked at this problem in two ways--can one of the
> child arrive early, and what are the consequences of being late.
>
> In both cases, a dance class and preschool, the doors are not open until
> the exact time. The dance class has a limited number of children
> (usually about 4 to 6), so it is really easy to get started on time. I
> was surprised that the preschool operated with the same
> paradigm--particularly for a class of 20 children.
>
> As a parent, how do you handle being late and how do you choose what you
> can be late for?
I serve on the board of our church nursery school and one of the
biggest complaints of the teachers is dealing with early drop-offs and
late pick-ups. However, they do schedule in 15-20 minutes of free
play time at the beginning and end of class so that LATE drop-offs and
EARLY pick-ups are less of a problem. This is 2.5 hour 2X a day
program, 9-11:30 and 12:00-2:30, so that 1/2 hour break is all the
teachers have for their own lunches. It is very hard if morning kids
don't leave until 11:45 and afternoon kids arrive at 11:50!
In your case I would think the dance class would be more important to
get to on time. But as others have pointed out, we have been able to
avoid conflicts so far with our two boys. We either don't sign up for
something we can't do, or juggle our own work schedules to accomodate
their classes.
Chris
Ann Porter
August 29th 03, 05:06 PM
"Karen G" > wrote in message
...
> On an odd note, I wonder how many case studies were done on me. :-)
Counting the current follow up study, 42.
Best,
Ann
Rosalie B.
August 29th 03, 05:37 PM
To the OP - ask the pre-school and the dance class people - tell them
what the problem is and see what they feel would be appropriate.
If I were you, I'd ask the dance people first, and then if they say
there's a hard line of some sort, then I'd tell the preschool what the
problem is and give them a heads up that he will be either late or
early whichever they prefer.
It may be that neither of them will care much.
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote:
>In article >,
>chiam margalit > wrote:
>>One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
>>other kid's activity.
>
>Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
>activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
>so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
>But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
>(I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
>schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
>be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
>so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
I must say that I found pre-school scheduling MUCH more difficult than
any other - mostly because car pools were involved and also younger
children in my family who had to be gotten dressed and stuck in the
car for two trips a day. It seemed like there was never one closer
than the next town which was a half hour or so away.
But after they were in school, I did it another way. Everyone did all
the activities together. The older girls both had piano lessons
together (one and then the other), the whole family including me ice
skated together, they both went to 4H, or after school activities like
gymnastics together, the both rode horses at the same time, they both
had swim team at the same time, etc.
So there was never a conflict between activities.
grandma Rosalie
Penny Gaines
August 29th 03, 06:15 PM
Robyn Kozierok wrote in >:
> In article >,
> chiam margalit > wrote:
>>One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
>>other kid's activity.
>
> Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
> activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
> so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
> But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
> (I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
> schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
> be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
> so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
Thats my feeling too: I'd prefer to have one or two really busy days,
and then nothing on the other days.
FWIW, while I've had a pre-school child, I haven't wanted to organise
much in the way of after-school activities (which incidently suited
the personality of my eldest). But now they are all at school all day,
I'm starting to feel that I could organise more for each of them.
--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three
chiam margalit
August 29th 03, 10:53 PM
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> chiam margalit > wrote:
> >One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
> >other kid's activity.
>
> Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
> activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
> so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
> But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
> (I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
> schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
> be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
> so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
>
Would you still do this if transportation was provided (the late bus)
for your kids, and/or if you didn't have to drive all over tarnation
to get them to and from activities?
I know when my kids were in a different school and I had to drive a
long distance to get them, my take on activities was a lot different
than it is now where everything is in extremely close proximity.
I want to be able to attend the activities when appropriate (games,
meetings, etc.) and if all the activities coincide, I can't do that.
Having both my kids gone at the same time isn't a reward for me
because we're apart most of the day anyhow, and when we're not,
they're involved with their rather extensive social lives (I've got 5
12-13 yo boys downstairs right now!) and I'm chopped liver. So, when
we DO have some alone time with mom, that's a severe treat for them
and for me.
Marjorie
> --Robyn
Rosalie B.
August 30th 03, 01:55 AM
(chiam margalit) wrote:
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
>> In article >,
>> chiam margalit > wrote:
>> >One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
>> >other kid's activity.
>>
>> Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
>> activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
>> so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
>> But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
>> (I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
>> schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
>> be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
>> so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
>>
>
>Would you still do this if transportation was provided (the late bus)
>for your kids, and/or if you didn't have to drive all over tarnation
>to get them to and from activities?
I'm not sure what you are asking here - but I have to say - just
because Robyn finds this works for her, it's OK for it not to work for
you. Both your method and her method can be good - it's not an either
or situation.
>
>I know when my kids were in a different school and I had to drive a
>long distance to get them, my take on activities was a lot different
>than it is now where everything is in extremely close proximity.
>
>I want to be able to attend the activities when appropriate (games,
>meetings, etc.) and if all the activities coincide, I can't do that.
>
>Having both my kids gone at the same time isn't a reward for me
>because we're apart most of the day anyhow, and when we're not,
>they're involved with their rather extensive social lives (I've got 5
>12-13 yo boys downstairs right now!) and I'm chopped liver. So, when
>we DO have some alone time with mom, that's a severe treat for them
>and for me.
>
grandma Rosalie
Karen G
August 30th 03, 01:57 AM
On Fri, 29 Aug 2003 17:53:49 EDT, (chiam margalit)
wrote:
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
>> In article >,
>> chiam margalit > wrote:
>> >One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
>> >other kid's activity.
>>
>> Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
>> activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
>> so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
>> But I wouldn't knowingly schedule activities that caused a conflict.
>> (I say knowingly because they never tell us the exact soccer practice
>> schedules or locations when we sign up. I think Ryan and Matt will
>> be practicing at the same time this year, but in almost the same place
>> so that the scheduling conflict will be minimized.)
>>
This is what I am trying to do as well. Dance class was supposed to be
from 10 to 11--which was perfect with preschool from 9:00 to 11:30.
Well, dance class got moved to 9:00 to 10:00, over which I have no
control and it is better for the class. So, I decided that I would
appreciate getting everybody going in the morning instead of trying to
find something to do for 45 minutes after we drop D#1 off.
My solution so far is to drop D#1 off at a friend's house near preschool
at 10 till 9:00. Friend's mom will drop her off while I take D#2 to
dance class. I found a back-up for that as well. I solve the problem
in two ways: nobody is late and I have from 10:00 to 11:30 with the
younger two on that particular day. Each of the girls only get one
activity, which we start at 3 years old. The dance teacher is really
good and D#2 interacts very well with her class, so I don't want to
lose that situation for her if I can help it. Of course a year from now
it will be a different story when D#2 starts preschool and has to change
to another class. Alas there is no perfect solution.
Karen
Hillary Israeli
August 30th 03, 01:07 PM
In >,
Robyn Kozierok > wrote:
*In article >,
*chiam margalit > wrote:
*>One thing I do is, never schedule any activity on the same day as the
*>other kid's activity.
*
*Actually, I usually try to do just the opposite so I'm not running for
*activities every day. If I can work out the drop-off and pick-up times
*so both kids are at an activity at the same time, I'm one happy mommy.
Me too! This upcoming semester, I have my daughter doing Gymboree one
morning during my son's preschool, and swimming class another morning
during his preschool. It would be hard to avoid having her do stuff the
same day though, given he has preschool five days a week :).
h.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)
Karen G
August 31st 03, 04:17 AM
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 18:04:00 EDT, (chiam margalit)
wrote:
>I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
>If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
>if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
>choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
>spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
>
>Marjorie
I do like to schedule things at the same time. Sending my kids in
different directions at the same time gives them some constructive time
away from each other and away from the house. They miss each other
quite a bit when they do things alone at home without the other, but
that may be unique to my kids, who are not quite 15 months apart. This
year I vaguely purposely/purposely scheduled activities for my middle
girl on Wednesdays (that's the dance class) and every other Friday when
the oldest is at preschool.
Karen
Robyn Kozierok
August 31st 03, 06:28 AM
In article >,
chiam margalit > wrote:
>
>I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
>If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
>if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
>choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
>spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
I did answer on the other subthread, but I'll answer again because
I may not have answered the question you were trying to ask.
For starters, I think you, Karen G and I are all talking about
different kinds of activities, and I think the differences impact the
answers.
Karen G has preschool-age kids (and a baby) and she is talking about
activities during the "school" day.
My kids' activities (tae kwon do, soccer, music lessons) tend to be things
that are separate from school and at least around here tend to run later
in the afternoon or into the evening.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but from your reference to the "late bus" on
the other subthread where you asked this, I *think* you're talking about
activities that are directly after school and located at the school, with
transportation home being available afterwards.
So, to answer the question I think you're trying to ask, if my kids were
participating in after-school activities at school that lasted two hours
or less and they had transportation home then I don't think I'd care one way
or the other whether they had their activities on the same days or not.
I'd be inclined, I think, to let them choose whichever days' activities
interested them the most (assuming I had no other objections to the
particular activities). Unless I expected to be needed/invited to watch
or participate in both activities on a regular enough basis to expect
conflicts, I can't think why I'd restrict them from doing things on the
same days, but I wouldn't prefer it as strongly as I do now either.
--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
Penny Gaines
August 31st 03, 12:16 PM
Karen G wrote in >:
> On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 18:04:00 EDT, (chiam margalit)
> wrote:
>
>>I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
>>If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
>>if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
>>choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
>>spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
>
> I do like to schedule things at the same time. Sending my kids in
> different directions at the same time gives them some constructive time
> away from each other and away from the house. They miss each other
> quite a bit when they do things alone at home without the other, but
> that may be unique to my kids, who are not quite 15 months apart. This
> year I vaguely purposely/purposely scheduled activities for my middle
> girl on Wednesdays (that's the dance class) and every other Friday when
> the oldest is at preschool.
My girls are the same: they miss each other when one of them is not
around and there is a 26 month gap.
The other issue I had, when I had younger kids, was that most of the
activities were to far from home to drop a child off, go home and then
collect them. So any activity for kid A, meant entertaining Kid B
and C at the same location, and usually it was not really geared up
for such entertainment. So activities invlved hassle getting there, and
hassle during it as well.
--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three
Penny Gaines
August 31st 03, 12:16 PM
Rosalie B. wrote in >:
> But after they were in school, I did it another way. Everyone did all
> the activities together. The older girls both had piano lessons
> together (one and then the other), the whole family including me ice
> skated together, they both went to 4H, or after school activities like
> gymnastics together, the both rode horses at the same time, they both
> had swim team at the same time, etc.
I've never had much luck doing things like that. For instance, with
swimming lessons, you were told which days were available, and if you
didn't take it then you were not offered another slot. You might be
able to change the day the kid had swimming lessons, but only if they
were already doing them.
--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three
Rosalie B.
August 31st 03, 02:00 PM
Penny Gaines > wrote:
>Rosalie B. wrote in >:
>
>> But after they were in school, I did it another way. Everyone did all
>> the activities together. The older girls both had piano lessons
>> together (one and then the other), the whole family including me ice
>> skated together, they both went to 4H, or after school activities like
>> gymnastics together, the both rode horses at the same time, they both
>> had swim team at the same time, etc.
>
>I've never had much luck doing things like that. For instance, with
>swimming lessons, you were told which days were available, and if you
>didn't take it then you were not offered another slot. You might be
>able to change the day the kid had swimming lessons, but only if they
>were already doing them.
Yes but I'm not talking about swimming lessons but about swim team
which is a horse of a different color. Everybody practices at the
same time and they are just (or ours were) divided into different
groups based on speed rather than age.
In the first team I had anything to do with, it was a summer team, and
all you had to be able to do to be on the team was swim 25 yards.
There were swim classes at the pool all summer (I taught some of them)
but they were between 9 and 12 each day and they had beginner classes
at each session IIRC. Swim team practice was in the evening.
The second team had a 'fast team' for which to qualify you had to be
able to swim a 200 freestyle in less than 3 minutes. I ended up
coaching the 'slow team'.
When I was the head coach, I put them into different lanes according
to speed depending on who was there for the practice. I sometimes had
someone to assist who would do stroke instruction for the really
beginning swimmers who could just barely do the length of the pool in
one lane (the one along the side of the pool). I could comfortably
handle 40 or 50 swimmers that way.
Addressing other sports - my two oldest were VERY close in size and
the 2nd one was very competitive so I never had the least trouble
putting them into the same slots for most sports.
grandma Rosalie
Rosalie B.
August 31st 03, 02:51 PM
x-no-archive:yes (Robyn Kozierok) wrote:
>In article >,
>chiam margalit > wrote:
>>
>>I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
>>If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
>>if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
>>choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
>>spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
>
>I did answer on the other subthread, but I'll answer again because
>I may not have answered the question you were trying to ask.
>
>For starters, I think you, Karen G and I are all talking about
>different kinds of activities, and I think the differences impact the
>answers.
>
>Karen G has preschool-age kids (and a baby) and she is talking about
>activities during the "school" day.
>
>My kids' activities (tae kwon do, soccer, music lessons) tend to be things
>that are separate from school and at least around here tend to run later
>in the afternoon or into the evening.
>
>Correct me if I'm wrong, but from your reference to the "late bus" on
>the other subthread where you asked this, I *think* you're talking about
>activities that are directly after school and located at the school, with
>transportation home being available afterwards.
>
>So, to answer the question I think you're trying to ask, if my kids were
>participating in after-school activities at school that lasted two hours
>or less and they had transportation home then I don't think I'd care one way
>or the other whether they had their activities on the same days or not.
>I'd be inclined, I think, to let them choose whichever days' activities
>interested them the most (assuming I had no other objections to the
>particular activities). Unless I expected to be needed/invited to watch
>or participate in both activities on a regular enough basis to expect
>conflicts, I can't think why I'd restrict them from doing things on the
>same days, but I wouldn't prefer it as strongly as I do now either.
>
I agree with Robyn and I've been thinking additionally about the
transportation issue.
First of all, except for pre-school and/or family activities, I didn't
have activities for my children before they were school age.
Preschool was always tremendous hassle to get to as there was no
possibility of walking to any of them. (Was involved with 5 different
ones in 4 different places.)
Before my dd#1 was in 2nd grade, my kids walked to school and home.
Because of moving, this included 4 different schools that dd#1 walked
to and could have stayed for after school activities and then walk
home.
After that, they were always bused to school. I've never lived where
I've had transportation home provided after activities. That's one of
the reasons that I was really happy when dd#1 got her driver's license
which coincided to a certain extent with the time I became a WOHM
teaching school.
grandma Rosalie
Hillary Israeli
August 31st 03, 07:23 PM
In >,
chiam margalit > wrote:
(Hillary Israeli) wrote in message >...
*> Me too! This upcoming semester, I have my daughter doing Gymboree one
*> morning during my son's preschool, and swimming class another morning
*> during his preschool. It would be hard to avoid having her do stuff the
*> same day though, given he has preschool five days a week :).
*
*I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
*If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
*if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
*choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
*spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
I'm not sure I really understand.
Transportation isn't the real issue here IMO. When my son is at school, I
have alone time with my daughter. I can take her to a class. If my son is
not at school when I schedule her for a class, someone has to take care of
him while I go somewhere with my daughter, and also he misses me and
wishes I were with him, and also he wonders why he can't go to the class
too. So I prefer to do things for her while he's otherwise occupied. I
believe I would feel the same way even if I had a chauffeur taking my son
to and from school, if that is what you are asking.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)
chiam margalit
August 31st 03, 10:00 PM
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> chiam margalit > wrote:
> >
> >I'll ask this question again, since I didn't get an answer last time.
> >If you weren't responsible for the drop off and pickup of your kids,
> >if your transportation wasn't part of the formula, would you still
> >choose to bunch all the activities together or would you prefer to
> >spread them out so they're only doing one thing at a time?
>
> I did answer on the other subthread, but I'll answer again because
> I may not have answered the question you were trying to ask.
>
> For starters, I think you, Karen G and I are all talking about
> different kinds of activities, and I think the differences impact the
> answers.
>
> Karen G has preschool-age kids (and a baby) and she is talking about
> activities during the "school" day.
>
> My kids' activities (tae kwon do, soccer, music lessons) tend to be things
> that are separate from school and at least around here tend to run later
> in the afternoon or into the evening.
>
> Correct me if I'm wrong, but from your reference to the "late bus" on
> the other subthread where you asked this, I *think* you're talking about
> activities that are directly after school and located at the school, with
> transportation home being available afterwards.
>
> So, to answer the question I think you're trying to ask, if my kids were
> participating in after-school activities at school that lasted two hours
> or less and they had transportation home then I don't think I'd care one way
> or the other whether they had their activities on the same days or not.
> I'd be inclined, I think, to let them choose whichever days' activities
> interested them the most (assuming I had no other objections to the
> particular activities). Unless I expected to be needed/invited to watch
> or participate in both activities on a regular enough basis to expect
> conflicts, I can't think why I'd restrict them from doing things on the
> same days, but I wouldn't prefer it as strongly as I do now either.
Yeah, this is what I was asking. My kids don't have a lot of
activities (sports, hebrew, music) and the music and sports are both
done on campus after school, the Hebrew at home. Because I don't want
either child on the late bus alone in the winter, when it gets dark, I
encourage them to make sure their activities are at the same time.
Fortunately, this year it worked out well for us.
I want them to have activities on the same days so that I know where
they both are and don't have to start sorting through my rather
overfilled brain to figure out who is where when. Way too much for me
to figure out! Plus, they like to be together, but not at the same
activities.
And as for my kids missing each other, they do, desperately. If one is
home sick whilst the other is at school, it's a constant "what time is
sibling going to be home" festival. Both of my kids have Jewish Big
Brother Big Sister volunteers they go out with on Sundays, and if
they're not out at the same time (different destinations) they start
in on me..."I wonder what X is doing?" They like to be *at* the same
activities, but not necessarily with each other. It's why certain day
camps work well for my kids, while other camps are complete washouts.
The camps that have scheduled field trips to amusement parks and water
parks and other activities are *perfect* for my kids, who like to see
what the other are doing, but are not put together in 'bunks'. The
camps that put all the kids together for activites are destined to
fail because they don't get along well WITH each other in a group
setting, but do care enough about each other to want to ensure fun and
safety, and of course, to compare notes afterwards! Twins are a
complicated relationship! I'd have to say my kids are *extremely*
close friends and really love each other, but when they get annoyed,
watch out! :-)
Marjorie
Robyn Kozierok
September 1st 03, 03:26 PM
In article >,
chiam margalit > wrote:
>
>Yeah, this is what I was asking. My kids don't have a lot of
>activities (sports, hebrew, music) and the music and sports are both
>done on campus after school, the Hebrew at home. Because I don't want
>either child on the late bus alone in the winter, when it gets dark, I
>encourage them to make sure their activities are at the same time.
>Fortunately, this year it worked out well for us.
>
>I want them to have activities on the same days so that I know where
>they both are and don't have to start sorting through my rather
>overfilled brain to figure out who is where when. Way too much for me
>to figure out! Plus, they like to be together, but not at the same
>activities.
Ok, now I'm really confused. I thought you were saying that you *didn't*
like to let your kids have activities on the same days?
As to keeping track of who is (and in my case needs to get) where when,
the PDA is my friend. :) Don't know how I ever lived without one.
Especially when Matthew was in Kindergarten with the stupidest schedule
ever: full days Monday through Wednesday, half days Thursday and
Friday. Luckily the bus driver was not allowed to leave him wihout
confirming that someone was home to receive him. I never actually
forgot to be home on time, but I lived in fear of forgetting all year :)
(They every used Thursday and Friday afternoon for the whole school
year to train the K teachers how to teach full-day Kindergarten. I am
not making this up. Never mind that Matthew's teacher had 30+ years of
teaching experience which included many years of full-day kindergarten
and other early grades. She was not impressed by the training. I
cannot imagine that even for newer teachers, the difference between
teaching half-day K and full-day K required some 70 afternoons to
teach!)
--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
Rosalie B.
September 1st 03, 10:29 PM
x-no-archive:yes
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote:
>In article >,
>chiam margalit > wrote:
>>
>>Yeah, this is what I was asking. My kids don't have a lot of
>>activities (sports, hebrew, music) and the music and sports are both
>>done on campus after school, the Hebrew at home. Because I don't want
>>either child on the late bus alone in the winter, when it gets dark, I
>>encourage them to make sure their activities are at the same time.
>>Fortunately, this year it worked out well for us.
>>
>>I want them to have activities on the same days so that I know where
>>they both are and don't have to start sorting through my rather
>>overfilled brain to figure out who is where when. Way too much for me
>>to figure out! Plus, they like to be together, but not at the same
>>activities.
>
>Ok, now I'm really confused. I thought you were saying that you *didn't*
>like to let your kids have activities on the same days?
I think with her this is more of a twin thing. It sounds as if she
does more or less what I did with my two older ones - they were in
different sections of the same activity, or they were in the same
activity at the same time, but it was an individual activity and not a
team thing.
>
>As to keeping track of who is (and in my case needs to get) where when,
>the PDA is my friend. :) Don't know how I ever lived without one.
I didn't have that problem, but I didn't have anyone playing team
sports like soccer, and also, my pre kindergarten children didn't have
any activities - I never even did playdates.
DD#2 has a son who's in all kinds of sports - sometimes 3 at once-
(like baseball, soccer, basketball and tennis- I think that kid plays
baseball year round), and she has to work an irregular schedule on top
of that. She just marks stuff on the calendar on the frig. If she's
not there, the nanny takes them and picks them up.
>Especially when Matthew was in Kindergarten with the stupidest schedule
>ever: full days Monday through Wednesday, half days Thursday and
>Friday. Luckily the bus driver was not allowed to leave him wihout
>confirming that someone was home to receive him. I never actually
>forgot to be home on time, but I lived in fear of forgetting all year :)
>(They every used Thursday and Friday afternoon for the whole school
>year to train the K teachers how to teach full-day Kindergarten. I am
Sometimes - even often - those inservice things are a pain in the neck
to all concerned.
>not making this up. Never mind that Matthew's teacher had 30+ years of
>teaching experience which included many years of full-day kindergarten
>and other early grades. She was not impressed by the training. I
>cannot imagine that even for newer teachers, the difference between
>teaching half-day K and full-day K required some 70 afternoons to
>teach!)
>
>--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
grandma Rosalie
Robyn Kozierok
September 1st 03, 10:53 PM
In article >,
Rosalie B. > wrote:
>>(They every used Thursday and Friday afternoon for the whole school
>>year to train the K teachers how to teach full-day Kindergarten. I am
>
>Sometimes - even often - those inservice things are a pain in the neck
>to all concerned.
I got the distinct impression that this was one of those times. :(
I think they're *still* doing this 2 years later too! There's got to
be some better way to use all those resources! sigh...
--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
chiam margalit
September 2nd 03, 07:33 AM
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> chiam margalit > wrote:
> >
> >Yeah, this is what I was asking. My kids don't have a lot of
> >activities (sports, hebrew, music) and the music and sports are both
> >done on campus after school, the Hebrew at home. Because I don't want
> >either child on the late bus alone in the winter, when it gets dark, I
> >encourage them to make sure their activities are at the same time.
> >Fortunately, this year it worked out well for us.
> >
> >I want them to have activities on the same days so that I know where
> >they both are and don't have to start sorting through my rather
> >overfilled brain to figure out who is where when. Way too much for me
> >to figure out! Plus, they like to be together, but not at the same
> >activities.
>
> Ok, now I'm really confused. I thought you were saying that you *didn't*
> like to let your kids have activities on the same days?
I never did, but *this year* with both kids in the same school for
the first time in several years, they'll both be doing activities
after school. They're not the same things (he's taking lacrosse, she's
taking track) but the transportation issue is moot because they can
take the late bus home. One day that he has something she doesn't
have, she's doing 'homework helper'. And hump day is Hebrew, which
they both do with the same poor beleagured tutor.
Marjorie
>
> As to keeping track of who is (and in my case needs to get) where when,
> the PDA is my friend. :) Don't know how I ever lived without one.
> Especially when Matthew was in Kindergarten with the stupidest schedule
> ever: full days Monday through Wednesday, half days Thursday and
> Friday. Luckily the bus driver was not allowed to leave him wihout
> confirming that someone was home to receive him. I never actually
> forgot to be home on time, but I lived in fear of forgetting all year :)
> (They every used Thursday and Friday afternoon for the whole school
> year to train the K teachers how to teach full-day Kindergarten. I am
> not making this up. Never mind that Matthew's teacher had 30+ years of
> teaching experience which included many years of full-day kindergarten
> and other early grades. She was not impressed by the training. I
> cannot imagine that even for newer teachers, the difference between
> teaching half-day K and full-day K required some 70 afternoons to
> teach!)
>
> --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
Jeff
September 2nd 03, 02:09 PM
As a soccer coach, I hate it when kids are late. It is not fair to the kids
who are on time, because I have to stop what I am doing to get the late kids
involved. And it is not fair to the kids who are late, because they miss the
first part of practice and don't really get up to speed. And, gee, I am a
volunteer. It is not fair to me either.
Jeff
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