so slow

[Karen G]

We get up in the morning and it takes her 10 minutes to decide what she
wants to wear. Add the 10 minutes of her getting angry at her sister
for wearing the clothes that she was considering and it takes 20 minutes
just to get our of her room. Then we start the breakfast routine. It
takes her another 10 minutes to decide what she wants to eat and an
extra 10 minutes to complain about her sister getting her oatmeal
stirred first. Then it takes her 30 minutes to eat the cereal she picks
out because she spends so much time talking about the frustration of
picking out her clothes and getting her cereal.

Argh! It's 8:30 and we are running late. How do we break this cycle
with our nearly 5 year old?

Karen G

[Ann Porter]

"Karen G" > wrote in message
...
> We get up in the morning and it takes her 10 minutes to decide what she
> wants to wear. Add the 10 minutes of her getting angry at her sister
> for wearing the clothes that she was considering and it takes 20 minutes
> just to get our of her room. Then we start the breakfast routine. It
> takes her another 10 minutes to decide what she wants to eat and an
> extra 10 minutes to complain about her sister getting her oatmeal
> stirred first. Then it takes her 30 minutes to eat the cereal she picks
> out because she spends so much time talking about the frustration of
> picking out her clothes and getting her cereal.
>
> Argh! It's 8:30 and we are running late. How do we break this cycle
> with our nearly 5 year old?

Do everything the night before. Pick out the clothes for the morning,
select breakfast...all before bedtime. Have them out where she can get to
them. Make sure her sister knows that these are things that Miss Poky
picked out.

And read The Poky Little Puppy, just for fun.

Best,
Ann

[Rosalie B.]

x-no-archive:yes Karen G > wrote:

>We get up in the morning and it takes her 10 minutes to decide what she
>wants to wear. Add the 10 minutes of her getting angry at her sister
>for wearing the clothes that she was considering and it takes 20 minutes
>just to get our of her room. Then we start the breakfast routine. It
>takes her another 10 minutes to decide what she wants to eat and an
>extra 10 minutes to complain about her sister getting her oatmeal
>stirred first. Then it takes her 30 minutes to eat the cereal she picks
>out because she spends so much time talking about the frustration of
>picking out her clothes and getting her cereal.
>
>Argh! It's 8:30 and we are running late. How do we break this cycle
>with our nearly 5 year old?

My sister was and probably is still kind of this way. She was a night
owl person and just waked really slowly. I always had to get out of
my nice warm bed and abandon my dreams in that half awake state first
and use the bathroom first, and of course I was more decisive and
could pick what to wear quicker. My sister would pick out an outfit
and then discard that (on the floor), and pick another outfit and come
downstairs to be told that what she had one was inappropriate or
didn't match and have to go up and pick again. This was in junior
high school.

So in addition to doing the picking out clothes and breakfast the
night before, you might consider putting her to bed earlier and
getting her up earlier than her sister (whether her sister is older or
younger). You can put it to her that she will be the first to get
dressed and get her cereal stirred this way. There might be a touch
of sibling rivalry in the way she's behaving - at least there was with
us - I resented having to get up first all the time.

My dd gets her son up at a time when he can watch a favorite TV
program only if he eats his breakfast and if he doesn't get up and
dressed, then he can't watch it. This gives him an incentive to get
on with eating, and also allows a more gradual re-entry in the world
of daytime.




grandma Rosalie

[Marijke]

"Karen G" > wrote in message
...
> We get up in the morning and it takes her 10 minutes to decide what she
> wants to wear.

Get her clothes ready the night before.

Add the 10 minutes of her getting angry at her sister
> for wearing the clothes that she was considering

Won't happen if the clothes are already chosen and ready for wear.


and it takes 20 minutes
> just to get our of her room. Then we start the breakfast routine. It
> takes her another 10 minutes to decide what she wants to eat and an
> extra 10 minutes to complain about her sister getting her oatmeal
> stirred first.

Have the table set the night before with preset options ready for the
morning. "child, you can have A or B for breakfast. If you haven't asked for
either by X time, you get what I choose (either A or B)." End of story.

As for complaining, I don't listen.

Then it takes her 30 minutes to eat the cereal she picks
> out because she spends so much time talking about the frustration of
> picking out her clothes and getting her cereal.

Since the choices were made the night before, this should stop after you've
ignored it a few times.
>
> Argh! It's 8:30 and we are running late. How do we break this cycle
> with our nearly 5 year old?
>

or, get up earlier.

Marijke, in Montreal

[lynn]

In article >,
Karen G > wrote:

> We get up in the morning and it takes her 10 minutes to decide what she
> wants to wear. Add the 10 minutes of her getting angry at her sister
> for wearing the clothes that she was considering and it takes 20 minutes
> just to get our of her room. Then we start the breakfast routine. It
> takes her another 10 minutes to decide what she wants to eat and an
> extra 10 minutes to complain about her sister getting her oatmeal
> stirred first. Then it takes her 30 minutes to eat the cereal she picks
> out because she spends so much time talking about the frustration of
> picking out her clothes and getting her cereal.
>
> Argh! It's 8:30 and we are running late. How do we break this cycle
> with our nearly 5 year old?
>
> Karen G
>

Everyone suggested picting out clothes the night before, which is a good
idea. Or other streamlining, like a fixed breakfast menu each morning.

Beyond that, what are the consequences of running late? She needs
incentives, and negative consequences are useful for that. What does the
school do if she's late? Can you hand her a breakfast bar to eat in the
care if there's not enough time for breakfast because of her dawdling?
Can you put her in the car in her pajamas, and she has to get dressed in
the car once you get to school? Just brainstorming here, but if there's
no incentive for hurrying this might be hard to fix.

On the other hand, if she already doesn't like being late, she might be
interested in trying to fix the problem too. So I'd sit down with her
and describe the problem as you see it, and see if she has ideas about
what to do. She might come up with - getting up earlier, skipping
breakfast (in which case you can insist on something healthy), putting
an alarm clock in her room (my 2.5yo has one, so she might like this),
or who knows. if the idea comes from her she might be more motivated to
follow it.

My 2.5yo son sometimes fusses about getting ready on time, but one time
we were late to daycare and the teacher had already started walking down
the street with the kids, so we met them on the road (I had called the
teacher and told her we were late, so she told me where to meet them).
He understood that they had left without him because he was late, and
after that was better about hurrying when I said we needed to.

- Lynn