Corners and ovens: The fears of an old parent of a young child

[Ann Porter]

Having a little one at my advanced age has been very different from having a
little one in my youth. I was much more carefree when I was younger. I'm
still not going to freak if he drops a piece of candy then eats it. But
this time I have two major sources of anxiety that I had never thought of
when my older kids were little: corners and the oven.

My house is full of corners. When Small Son was just a littl'un (< 1 y/o),
he slipped off daddy's knee and banged his head on the corner of a coffee
table. At 20 months or so, he had a similar accident and required hospital
grade super glue (what great stuff) to close up the wound. He's 4 1/2 now,
tearing through the house, with small spaces between doors and desks, open
dishwasher in the galley kitchen, and man...the chunk of iron on the frame
of his bed...well, every time he runs around, I'm a nervous wreck.

My other obsession is the oven. He made a dash for me when the oven door
was open when he was just 18 months old, and I blocked him with my leg,
knocking him away from it. Of course, he cried, and my older son asked
"Why'd you kick him?" and all I could say was, "So he wouldn't fall in the
oven and die." My heart pounds every time I open the oven door. If he's
even looking at me from the other room and sees me open the oven, he dashes
away, because he's picked up on my fear. I've also explicitly told him:
"The oven is hot. Don't come near the oven when the door is open." I guess
it's good that he listens to me.

Best,
Ann

--
Where we are weak, harshness and fear will not make us strong;
where we are strong, gentleness and forebearance will not make us weak. --
Jamie

[Peggy Tatyana]

"Ann Porter" > wrote:

> If he's
> even looking at me from the other room and sees me open the oven, he
dashes
> away, because he's picked up on my fear. I've also explicitly told him:
> "The oven is hot. Don't come near the oven when the door is open." I
guess
> it's good that he listens to me.

Funny -- I didn't have my kids until I was in my late 30's, and I felt like
I was more relaxed with them than a lot of younger parents.

Anyway, about the oven, isn't it time that he could start avoiding it out of
understanding, rather than fear? Why not talk to him bout it, and then let
him put his hand inside when it's heated? He could even touch the shelf,
very quickly, without serious injury (ever hear of people who walk on
coals?) though perhaps that wouldn't be good, since he might see it as a
game. I wonder, though, if you haven't already firghtened him enough that he
would be unwilling to do this.

I'm afraid I haven't anything to offer about running around and bashing into
corners!

Peggy

--
WWSD ***** What Would Samwise Do?

[Kevin Karplus]

In article >, Peggy Tatyana wrote:
> Anyway, about the oven, isn't it time that he could start avoiding it out of
> understanding, rather than fear? Why not talk to him bout it, and then let
> him put his hand inside when it's heated? He could even touch the shelf,
> very quickly, without serious injury (ever hear of people who walk on
> coals?) though perhaps that wouldn't be good, since he might see it as a
> game. I wonder, though, if you haven't already firghtened him enough that he
> would be unwilling to do this.

Our son burned his hand rather badly on the oven when he was a toddler
(or maybe pre-toddler, pulling himself up on things). Luckily, it
healed well in a couple of weeks and left no scars. After that he was
very careful around the oven, but not fearful of it. IMO, extreme fear is
not a good way to get kids to avoid things.

> I'm afraid I haven't anything to offer about running around and bashing into
> corners!

That, luckily, is not something my son is very prone to (either the
running around or the bashing into things), which is probably just as
well, since with the house always in a state of high entropy, there
are a lot of things to bump into.

--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.