3yo avoiding potty training

[Robyn Kozierok]

My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).

I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
poops in the potty. Whenever I mention anything of the sort, he gets
agitated and says he doesn't "like" (he means "want") to go potty,
and I drop it.

Whenever I pick him up from preschool, I casually ask if he went potty
that day and he repsonds (calmly) that he did not, and I say, "Oh,
well, maybe tomorrow" to which he agrees ;-) Several of his classmates
are trained or training, so there's plenty of potty use going on there.

We went out and bought 4 packages of cool underwear, which he likes
but not enough to try wearing it.

I'm not really in a big hurry to get him to potty train, and in many
ways it would be easier to wait until after our family vacation this
summer (newly trained children can be quite a challenge while travelling).

It just seems really odd to me that he is so resistant to this and it
can't be "marketed" to him in any way, shape or form. I would like him
to train before kindergarten ;-) So, should I just drop it for now, or
keep talking about his cool underwear and about how "someday" he'll
wear underwear and use the potty like his big brothers do. We have a
potty video that he likes, but no books, fwiw.

Thanks in advance,

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

[Claire Petersky]

"Robyn Kozierok" > wrote in message
...

> I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
> too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
> poops in the potty.

When Rose was three, she mentioned that she would do such things when she
was old enough to drive the car, and vote.

We finally got her "trained" on her fourth birthday, basically by being
total and complete potty nazis, just like they tell you not to do. We could
have done it at least six months earlier, and probably much earlier than
that, if we had had the support in being completely and thoroughly harsh and
unrelenting on the issue. Everyone tells you to wait until the kid is ready,
don't push it, etc. Well, that might be true with lots of kids, but it
wasn't true for us. If you want the war story, I can dig it up and email it
to you.

If I remember right, 40% of kids are not PT by age 3, but only 2% aren't by
age 4, so there's lots of hope for you all yet, though.

Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
http://home.earthlink.net/~cpetersky/Welcome.htm
Email me re: the new Tiferet CD (http://www.tiferet.net)

[Cheryl]

On Tue, 9 Mar 2004 19:49:13 EST, (Robyn
Kozierok) wrote:

>
>My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
>without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
>on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
>his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>
>I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
>too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
>poops in the potty. Whenever I mention anything of the sort, he gets
>agitated and says he doesn't "like" (he means "want") to go potty,
>and I drop it.
>
>Whenever I pick him up from preschool, I casually ask if he went potty
>that day and he repsonds (calmly) that he did not, and I say, "Oh,
>well, maybe tomorrow" to which he agrees ;-) Several of his classmates
>are trained or training, so there's plenty of potty use going on there.
>
>We went out and bought 4 packages of cool underwear, which he likes
>but not enough to try wearing it.
>
>I'm not really in a big hurry to get him to potty train, and in many
>ways it would be easier to wait until after our family vacation this
>summer (newly trained children can be quite a challenge while travelling).
>
>It just seems really odd to me that he is so resistant to this and it
>can't be "marketed" to him in any way, shape or form. I would like him
>to train before kindergarten ;-) So, should I just drop it for now, or
>keep talking about his cool underwear and about how "someday" he'll
>wear underwear and use the potty like his big brothers do. We have a
>potty video that he likes, but no books, fwiw.
>
I went with the approach I gathered from a newsgroup post in
alt.mothers a few months ago. I needed #2 to train before he started
preschool in early Feb (our school year runs differently to the US)
and in early Dec I got sick of him wearing nappies (aka diapers). He
was never going to decide to toilet train given that he still talks
about his dummy (pacifier) 5 months after he agreed to give it up :(

Day 1 I told him no more nappies through the day. He didn't really
like that. I put him in undies and set the timer for 15 minutes.
When the timer went off, I sat him on the potty with his pants down
and set the timer for 2 minutes which is how long he had to stay on
the potty (watching TV or reading a book, no real stress). The timer
went off, he got off and pulled his pants up. Timer was reset for 15
minutes. When the timer went off, he had to sit on the potty again
for 2 minutes. This time he protested being sat on the potty but once
he was there he didn't mind so much and sat for the 2 minutes. We
repeated this (including the argument before sitting) a couple of
times and eventually he peed on the floor about 3 minutes before he
was supposed to sit on the potty. I cleaned it up with no real
comment made apart from "next time try and do it on the potty". We
reset the timer and the next time he had to sit on the potty he did
pee so we made a big fuss, then it was dinner/bath/bedtime, over for
the day.

Next day was a daycare day, I sent him in undies with 3 changes of
clothes. He peed in all bar the last one of the changes and didn't
produce for them. Day 3 we flew interstate (my timing _could_ have
been better!) so I had him in nappies most of the afternoon. used the
timer and potty in the morning. Day 4, at the ILs with a tiled floor,
he was in undies all day and we used the timer but at 20 minute
intervals. He had one accident. Day 5 he told me when he needed to
pee and sat on the potty without complaining. We used pullups through
the day when we were going to be in the car for more than 30 minutes
while on holidays and for about a week after we came back (while in
the car), about 2 weeks total. Since then we've pretty much had no
pee accidents although it did take a while long to poo train. Even
travelling home was no problem, once he realised I was serious about
no nappies through the day it was like a switch went off in his head
and the only accidents were when he was too busy playing to listen to
his body. It was not how #1 trained (child led) but it worked much
quicker than I had expected and I may well use this method again for
#3 if she doesn't train when I need her to.


--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

[Beth Gallagher]

"Robyn Kozierok" > wrote in message
...
>
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>
> I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
> too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
> poops in the potty. Whenever I mention anything of the sort, he gets
> agitated and says he doesn't "like" (he means "want") to go potty,
> and I drop it.

I'd drop it for awhile, until it's been forgotten about as an issue -- maybe
a few months? Then try again as you've been doing, maybe adding in a cup of
M&Ms as an incentive for using the toilet.

My son wasn't afraid of the potty but totally resistant to it. it seemed to
me that he just saw no benefit to himself, and none of the usual arguments
(e.g., peer issues) mattered to him. Why stop what you're doing to hit the
toilet when you can keep going and get it taken care of at your convenience?

Finally, a few months before his 4th birthday, I warned him that he was
going to be using the toilet by 4. Period. I reminded him about that a few
times over the course of a few weeks. Then, perhaps a month before he turned
4, I gave him a week's notice. On deadline-day, after preschool, he was made
to put on underwear. He didn't want to, but nor did he refuse. He peed in
it. I expressed my displeasure the same way I might have if he'd done
anything else in direct defiance. Later that evening, he pooped in his
underwear. (And this is a boy who used to go behind a chair to poop in his
diaper, so he knew what he was doing.) I gave him loads of trouble. That was
that. Never another accident.

So, again, because he was so old and clearly physically and intellectually
ready, I treated it like any other thing I needed him to do, such as
cleaning his room, etc. However, your child is almost a year younger than
my son was when we did this. I don't think I would have handled it this way
with an almost 3 YO. As I'm sure you remember from your other kids, from
almost 3 to almost 4 is a huge difference. And you might see more natural
progress in the next 6-9 months. For whatever reason, I was not willing to
have a 4 YO in diapers.
Good luck! I hope it goes as well for you.

[Jessica]

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>

I don't know if you're a big fan of Dr. Phil or not, but he had a show
about this very topic. His procedure seemed to really work.

Basically, try to find a doll that pees. What you do is make the doll
pee and then make a big deal out of it - have a little party for the
doll (part hats, noise makers are all you really need). Then, give
your child a lot of water to drink. Ask him several times if he needs
to go. Tell him when he does go, he'll get a party. When he finally
says he has to go, take him to the potty and have him go. Then have
your "party" .. You can put on music and dance, etc. You can also
have someone call and pretend to be a character loved by your child
(the child on Dr. Phil like Thomas the train).

The whole idea is to make it exciting and rewarding for the child.
Dr. Phil says the training is instant, although I imagine you might
have to have a "party" a few times.

Hope this helps!

Jessica

[Chris Himes]

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>
Our Evan was not too interested in potty training either, although he
showed more signs than it sounds like your Evan does. That is, he
would use the potty occassionally and had an interest in wearing
underwear. What worked for us was a trip to Grandma's house. I just
announced that Grandma didn't have any diapers and he would need to
start using the potty there. He, his older brother and I took a 12
hour train ride to the grandparents. He wore pull-ups on the train,
but had no accidents (he was fascinated by train toilets, actually),
had 2-3 accidents the first day there and then was fine--dry at night,
all day, no looking back. He was about 2 and 9 months. I think for
some kids, they just need that "push."

Chris

[Bev Brandt]

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement.

My youngest (of 3 kids as well) is 3.5 and has no desire to go in the
toilet, either. None. Nada. Could not care about it any less.

> It just seems really odd to me that he is so resistant to this and it
> can't be "marketed" to him in any way, shape or form.

My youngest has noticed that everyone else in the family goes in the
potty but him. Doesn't care, not his problem. Peer pressure doesn't
work on this one. (Let's hope that carries through to other, more
important things later on!)

Bribery is in the form of his favorite candies. Doesn't care. He'll
even talk about the candy he'll get when he goes in the potty, but
then say he's not going to do that now.

Being a "big boy?" Eh...he thinks he's already "big" and will tell me
that. In fact, he's so self assured that he says that he's not big,
he's not little, he's "Jarrod." So there. So it's not a matter of
maturity for him, it's a matter of convenience.

> I would like him
> to train before kindergarten ;-)

We live walking distance from a high caliber, private university. I'm
convinced that my youngest is smart enough to go to med school there.
I'm also convinced that between classes he's going to rush home so
that I can change his diaper.

> So, should I just drop it for now, or
> keep talking about his cool underwear and about how "someday" he'll
> wear underwear and use the potty like his big brothers do. We have a
> potty video that he likes, but no books, fwiw.

I'm obviously in the same boat as you. Here's my plan...and I have to
wait until the Girl Scout cookies are gone from my house (ugh.) I am
going to make a family announcement - no more cookies, candies, gum or
sweet treats of any sort until youngest goes in the big potty. None.
Not for anyone. We'll have a big party when he is potty trained, but
until then...no treats. I might lose a few pounds myself! This could
be a good thing.

Youngest also likes loose change. By that I mean he digs through dad's
part of the dresser for pennies, nickels and dimes to carry around in
his pockets. I'm thinking I'll have to gather up all the loose change
in the house, put it *up* somewhere (this includes the older kids'
allowances) and then tell youngest that he can have a nickel or dime
every time he goes in the potty.

If that doesn't work, I was thinking of taking a few days off and
hiding the diapers and letting youngest go about in either underwear
or nothing.

If that doesn't work, I'm gonna stock up on adult dipes and see if
peer pressure from his fellow college students works...

- Bev

[Ann Porter]

"Bev Brandt" > wrote in message
om...

> If that doesn't work, I was thinking of taking a few days off and
> hiding the diapers and letting youngest go about in either underwear
> or nothing.

We did "naked and $75" with our little boy. When he was home, he wore no
pants. He had a little potty seat in the family room so he could use the
potty right when he needed to. He had a few accidents, and we had to
occasionally put the computer in "time out" when he'd have an accident while
playing on the computer, but within a couple of weeks he was trained.

If we had waited until he was ready...well, who knows how long it would have
been. He was over three years old (three months over, I think), and *I* was
ready.

The $75 is to have the carpet cleaned when the process is over.

Best,
Ann

P.S. Robyn, how the heck did Evan get to be three already? He was just
born!

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Robyn Kozierok > wrote:

*It just seems really odd to me that he is so resistant to this and it
*can't be "marketed" to him in any way, shape or form. I would like him
*to train before kindergarten ;-) So, should I just drop it for now, or
*keep talking about his cool underwear and about how "someday" he'll
*wear underwear and use the potty like his big brothers do. We have a
*potty video that he likes, but no books, fwiw.

I made two full-on attempts at potty training my son during his 2-year-old
year - first during winter break (he has a September birthday so he was a
young 2 year old then) and then during spring break. Both times he
STRONGLY resisted and the longer of the two attempts lasted less than 48
hours. He cried and said he did not LIKE the potty and that he wanted to
wear diapers. Gosh, i feel just plain mean thinking about it. Anyway, we
decided to blow it off entirely but to keep the potty there and to remind
him a few times a week that if he DID want to use the potty and wear big
boy underwear, it was there. Well, the first day of camp he woke up and
said "I want to use the potty and wear big boy underwear" and that was it,
he was pretty much trained. So that would have been in June.

I think if I were you I would give it more time. I know my best friend's
little girl, who is my son's age, is very very resistant to potty training
too, if it makes you feel any better. Some kids are just that way, I
think.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Kevin Karplus]

In article >, Bev Brandt wrote:
> (Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> My youngest (of 3 kids as well) is 3.5 and has no desire to go in the
> toilet, either. None. Nada. Could not care about it any less.

We had similar problems with my son. Even once we got him to use the
potty at home he would not use the (child size) toilets at the day care.
When we switched him to underpants, he'd retain his urine for 6 hours
rather than use the toilets at school. The preschool staff were very
good about dealing with both the stubbornness and the occassional
accidents. Interestingly, he was dry at night long before he was
fully toilet trained.

He got over the problem of using toilets outside the home before
kindergarten started, luckily, though he did still need to be reminded
to go to the bathroom before starting something engrossing like using
the computer or reading.

[Barbara]

I'd drop it for a while, but that's me.

Have you tried the *7 days and $75* (higher in NY) approach, where you
let him run around without bottoms? Also, some kids despise a potty
seat on the regular toilet, while others can't tolerate a stand-alone
potty chair. Perhaps trying the opposite of whatever you're now using
would help.

Anyway, I remember that, as a child, I loved my position as the baby
in the family, and had no desire whatsoever for that to change.
Perhaps your youngest is feeling a bit ambivalent about *being a big
boy* (which you didn't say, but its a pretty common comment on
training) or even being like his big brothers. If there's some sort
of treat you can use to take the place of that, maybe it would help.
Eg *I wish that I could take you to X, but its just too hard with you
in diapers. We'll be able to go once you use the potty, though*

And a happy 3d birthday.

Barbara




(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
> SNIP
> It just seems really odd to me that he is so resistant to this and it
> can't be "marketed" to him in any way, shape or form. I would like him
> to train before kindergarten ;-) So, should I just drop it for now, or
> keep talking about his cool underwear and about how "someday" he'll
> wear underwear and use the potty like his big brothers do. We have a
> potty video that he likes, but no books, fwiw.
>
> Thanks in advance,
>
> --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article <ayv3c.93058$PR3.1589762@attbi_s03>,
Claire Petersky > wrote:
>"Robyn Kozierok" > wrote in message
...
>
>> I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
>> too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
>> poops in the potty.
>
>When Rose was three, she mentioned that she would do such things when she
>was old enough to drive the car, and vote.

Evan is so far steadfastly denying that he will use potty even as a
grownup. ;-)

Thanks for the anecdotes,
--Robyn

[Rosalie B.]

x-no-archive:yes


(Robyn Kozierok) wrote:

>
>My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
>without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
>on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
>his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>
>I've tried casually mentioning that at some point he's going to be
>too big for diapers and will wear underwear, and make his pees and
>poops in the potty. Whenever I mention anything of the sort, he gets
>agitated and says he doesn't "like" (he means "want") to go potty,
>and I drop it.
>
>Whenever I pick him up from preschool, I casually ask if he went potty
>that day and he repsonds (calmly) that he did not, and I say, "Oh,
>well, maybe tomorrow" to which he agrees ;-) Several of his classmates
>are trained or training, so there's plenty of potty use going on there.

My 2nd one at age 2.4 was perfectly able to stay completely dry all
day long - had enormous control. She would only pee in her diaper in
bed either at night or during her nap. (Of course then the diaper
was soaked.) I don't know whether she waited until just before she
got up or if she did it after she went to bed. In any case - complete
refusal to sit on the toilet whatsoever.

All I had to do to get her trained was tell her she couldn't go to
pre-school with her older sister unless she was trained. So voila she
was trained. I think she had one accident after that.

My mom trained #1, and I totally don't remember how #3 and #4 were
done. Of course in those days, we didn't have pull-ups. #2 is now 40
years old.


grandma Rosalie

[Tara Simpson]

My advice is this:use a favorie candy or snack for efforts at the potty.
For instance M&M's worked for our son.Put a bowl of them on the back of
the toilet and enforce that the only way he gets "that" candy is for
effort to poop or pee in the potty.By the way,our son didn't potty train
until a week before I had our daughter and still had accidents for a
year afterwards.He was 3 and a half when she was born.

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Jessica > wrote:
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message
>...
>> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
>> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
>> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
>> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>>
>
>I don't know if you're a big fan of Dr. Phil or not, but he had a show
>about this very topic. His procedure seemed to really work.
>
>Basically, try to find a doll that pees. What you do is make the doll
>pee and then make a big deal out of it - have a little party for the
>doll (part hats, noise makers are all you really need). Then, give
>your child a lot of water to drink. Ask him several times if he needs
>to go. Tell him when he does go, he'll get a party. When he finally
>says he has to go, take him to the potty and have him go. Then have
>your "party" .. You can put on music and dance, etc. You can also
>have someone call and pretend to be a character loved by your child
>(the child on Dr. Phil like Thomas the train).
>

There is a book about this method called something like Potty training
in under a day. I can't see this working right now where Evan is
particularly resistant to even sitting on the potty naked or being out
his diaper for longer than it takes to change it. Besides, he wouldn't
drink the water if he thought I wanted him to ;-)

Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
Support a family business and learn about the technologies underlying
the Internet with the TCP/IP Guide! http://www.tcpipguide.com
Special Limited-Time Offer for Educators Currently Available

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Bev Brandt > wrote:

>My youngest has noticed that everyone else in the family goes in the
>potty but him. Doesn't care, not his problem. Peer pressure doesn't
>work on this one. (Let's hope that carries through to other, more
>important things later on!)

Our boys would get along great ;-)

>Bribery is in the form of his favorite candies. Doesn't care.

Same here.

>He'll
>even talk about the candy he'll get when he goes in the potty, but
>then say he's not going to do that now.

Oh, for Evan there is no "when he goes potty". He's never going.
Period. He will agree to "maybe tomorrow" if I suggest it, but he's
just saying that to shut me up ;-P

>Being a "big boy?" Eh...he thinks he's already "big" and will tell me
>that. In fact, he's so self assured that he says that he's not big,
>he's not little, he's "Jarrod." So there. So it's not a matter of
>maturity for him, it's a matter of convenience.

Evan says "I not big, I just little".

I have tried saying that one day he will be "too big" for diapers,
but I have to be careful about that approach since I expect he will
need night diapers for a while yet.

>We live walking distance from a high caliber, private university. I'm
>convinced that my youngest is smart enough to go to med school there.
>I'm also convinced that between classes he's going to rush home so
>that I can change his diaper.

hee hee

Well, good luck and let me know if anythign works ;-)

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Ann Porter > wrote:
>"Bev Brandt" > wrote in message
om...
>
>> If that doesn't work, I was thinking of taking a few days off and
>> hiding the diapers and letting youngest go about in either underwear
>> or nothing.
>
>We did "naked and $75" with our little boy. When he was home, he wore no
>pants. He had a little potty seat in the family room so he could use the
>potty right when he needed to. He had a few accidents, and we had to
>occasionally put the computer in "time out" when he'd have an accident while
>playing on the computer, but within a couple of weeks he was trained.

Evan does not tolerate being out of his diaper for even a few minutes :(

>P.S. Robyn, how the heck did Evan get to be three already? He was just
>born!

The time just flies ;-(

Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Barbara > wrote:

>Anyway, I remember that, as a child, I loved my position as the baby
>in the family, and had no desire whatsoever for that to change.
>Perhaps your youngest is feeling a bit ambivalent about *being a big
>boy* (which you didn't say, but its a pretty common comment on
>training) or even being like his big brothers.

I've been thinking about that aspect. I think there is definitely something
to that.

>If there's some sort
>of treat you can use to take the place of that, maybe it would help.
>Eg *I wish that I could take you to X, but its just too hard with you
>in diapers. We'll be able to go once you use the potty, though*

Worth a try.... We've been bribing with candy but that doesn't work.
But I wonder if he'd be excited enough about some unknown place,
considering that any place he's already been is obviously doable with
diapers.

Thanks,

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Chris Himes > wrote:
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message
>...
>> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>> training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
>> without a diaper on. He seems scared, though he is not afraid to sit
>> on it in a diaper and PJs (which he does every night after brushing
>> his teeth while I give him his fluoride supplement).
>>
>What worked for us was a trip to Grandma's house. I just
>announced that Grandma didn't have any diapers and he would need to
>start using the potty there.


I can't believe he fell for that ;-) I'm pretty sure my Evan would
insist that we bring some of ours. After all he has experience with us
bringing diapers when wo go out other places.


Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Chris Himes]

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> >What worked for us was a trip to Grandma's house. I just
> >announced that Grandma didn't have any diapers and he would need to
> >start using the potty there.
>
>
> I can't believe he fell for that ;-) I'm pretty sure my Evan would
> insist that we bring some of ours. After all he has experience with us
> bringing diapers when wo go out other places.

Oh he was quite skeptical, and I discreetly had packed diapers just in
case this whole plot failed. He asked several times about getting
diapers once we were there, etc., but in the end I think he just gave
in. He was so clearly "ready," just not willing!

Good luck!
Chris

[Iowacookiemom]

>>Bribery is in the form of his favorite candies. Doesn't care.
>
>Same here.

We had special "poop candies" that Henry picked out himself. IIRC he
arbitrarily spied them in the Brachs display at the grocery store and asked me
to get some, and I happened to connect them to pooping -- something like, "Oh,
those are very special candies. We can't just buy them like we'd buy any
candy. But we can get a few and save them for when you poop in the potty."

To this day, none of us can stomach these particular candies anymore because
just seeing them makes us think of poop!

So along those lines, you might wait for Evan to really want something and then
make *that* (whatever it may be) the carrot.

That said, I think he's still a tad young to be worrying much. And as an
experienced mom you remember that in many ways, having a toddler in diapers is
easier than having a brand-new-trained toddler in big boy underpants who has to
find a toilet *right* *now*!

Take your time. TTSP.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 11

[Naomi Pardue]

>My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
>without a diaper on.

As one who works in a daycare with lots of kids about this age, I say to drop
it for a few months. You can't force it, and the more you harp on it, the more
resistant he's going to get. (Even if/when he really wants to start trying,
he'll be likely to refuse, just because he knows it's what you want/have been
pressuring him to do.)

When he's ready, whenever that it, it will likely go very quickly, and you have
saved yourself a lot of wet floors, wet clothes, and misery.

At the preschool we have several kids (mostly 2's) who have been 'potty
training' for months to years, and still have regular accidents. Their parents
have simply decided that 'today my son/daughter is old enough to train', and
begin, and the result is endless misery for all. ("Come on, sweetie, lets go
sit on the potty." "No!" "Will you try?" "No!" "Just for a minute? You can
bring your toy with you." "No!" "You don't have to do a pee-pee?" "No!' "Are
you sure?" "Yes!" "Ok. Well, you be sure to tell me when you have to go, ok?"
.... and 5 minutes later, there is suddenly a puddle by Sweetie's feet ... and
this is repeated every day for months. Gets old.)

Three isn't really as old as all that, esp. with boys.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Nikki]

Robyn Kozierok wrote:
> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
> training would be an understatement.

<delurk>

My youngest will be 3 next month and it is the same thing. About once every
week or two he'll complain that his diapers are to tight or something and
I'll tell him how comfy his Bob the Builder underwear would be. He only has
to pee in the potty. He then declares "I love my diapers" and various other
similar sentiments. I plan to do nothing about it and if he is still
refusing by next fall I'll see what happens then. I might declare a
training day or come up with some elaborate scheme :-)....or just wait a
while longer. I'm 90% sure he is physically ready right now.

My older son didn't train until he was 3.5. He *knew* it was important to
me and boy did he get a lot of mileage out of that. I hope to keep that
particular twist *out* of the training this time.

Good thread.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

[Banty]

In article >, Nikki says...
>
>Robyn Kozierok wrote:
>> My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
>> training would be an understatement.

>
>My older son didn't train until he was 3.5. He *knew* it was important to
>me and boy did he get a lot of mileage out of that. I hope to keep that
>particular twist *out* of the training this time.

My son trained completely and quickly at about 3.5 also. And I've seen this age
posted many times in these misc.kids fora for little boys. Possibly there's
something developmental may be going on, physically or emotionally or both.

Banty

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Iowacookiemom > wrote:

>So along those lines, you might wait for Evan to really want something and then
>make *that* (whatever it may be) the carrot.

This is a good idea; something to keep in mind.

We had a kind of cute exchange related to this a while back. Evan pulled
out one of Ryan's computer games that was *way* above his ability and said
he wanted to play it. I replied that that one was for big boys. "I big!"
he replied. I ended the conversation with, "Well, this one is for boys
who wear *underwear*" :-P

>That said, I think he's still a tad young to be worrying much. And as an
>experienced mom you remember that in many ways, having a toddler in diapers is
>easier than having a brand-new-trained toddler in big boy underpants who has to
>find a toilet *right* *now*!

Oh, yes, I really hate the "just trained" phase, and as I said we are
travelling this summer, so I'm pretty happy to just wait, and casually
promote the idea that *eventually* he will wear that cool underwear
and use the toilet.


Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
mountainspring > wrote:
>
>>From my own experience, both those statistics seem fairly accurate. My
>son is just shy of the 3.5 mark and has just become potty trained.
>Yesterday was the first day he pooped on the toilet...and even better,
>he told me he needed to do it first! :-) Among the 6 kids in his
>playgroup (who were all born within about a month of each other) the
>girls all potty trained right around their 3rd birthday, and the boys
>are just now getting trained.

Wow, that seems late compared to my experience; perhaps that is part
of my problem. My first son trained quickly on his 3rd birthday and my
second trained before he was 3 -- started around 2.5 but was't reliable
for quite a while. I think 10 years ago it was unusual for even a
boy to train much later than his 3rd birthday. I guess the average
age is getting older even as I travel this parenting journey ;-)

>We tried not to pressure our son *too* much about it, just made it clear
>that, eventually, we expected him to start using the potty. I think your
>practice of asking your son each day whether he used the potty and being
>somewhat nonchalant if he didn't and saying "maybe tomorrow" sounds like
>a good way of handling it. Have faith, I don't think your son is at all
>unusual in his refusal to use the potty at his age. I suspect in a few
>months he'll suddently announce that he wants to go use the potty.
>

He teased me the other day. When I was changing his diaper I casually
asked, as I often do, if he wanted to sit on the potty as long as he
was naked. He said "No... um, yes". So, I asked, trying to mask my
shock, "You want to go sit on the potty now?" "No," he replied. "Oh,"
said I, "Ok, when *do* you want to sit on the potty?" "Tomorrow."

Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
Support a family business and learn about the technologies underlying
the Internet with the TCP/IP Guide! http://www.tcpipguide.com
Special Limited-Time Offer for Educators Currently Available

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Jeanette Haring]

Just want you to know that you still have time, he is only 3. Our
grandson turned three in Feb. and he is doing great now ,but there is no
rule that he must be trained be the time he's 3 and a half. Try standing
him on a step stool or somthing that makes him able to go in the potty,
pour some water, in the toilet and make bubbles, and ask him to pee in
the potty to make bubbles of is own, that's what our little guy did and
thought it was great fun. That's all she wrote, he was on his way to
doing what had to be done. He even had a new brother Feb. 12 and hasn't
back slid at all, still making bubbles.

[Bev Brandt]

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message >...
> In article >,
> Bev Brandt > wrote:

Last month I wrote:

> >We live walking distance from a high caliber, private university. I'm
> >convinced that my youngest is smart enough to go to med school there.
> >I'm also convinced that between classes he's going to rush home so
> >that I can change his diaper.

Welp. Not gonna happen! Seems that my future doctor, lawyer,
charismatic politician (whatever) will not be sporting dipes at age
20! Woo-hoo!! ;-)
>
> hee hee
>
> Well, good luck and let me know if anythign works ;-)
>
> --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

I still don't really know what actually "worked." We'd tried
everything, as I'd posted, and he wasn't about to be talked into potty
training.

He *was* going through an independent streak - wanting to get dressed
by himself *completely* without even so much as a parent helping turn
shirts right-side-out. And he was going through a competitive stage as
well, wanting to get dressed faster than his older brother or sister.

His main problem was the diapers. They slowed him down and he needed
help to get one on.

So, one morning as he was kind of struggling putting on his diaper and
complaining that the process was too slow and he couldn't do it by
himself, I casually said: "Underwear is easier to put on and faster."
He trotted up to his room, got his underwear out (we'd also switched
him over to a chest of drawers that he could more easily open) and put
on underwear. I told him that was great, but I didn't say too much
else because he'd done this part before.

Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)

That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
in the middle of the night to go!

Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
hope that even late trainers eventually train.

- Bev

[illecebra]

On Wed, 31 Mar 2004 13:04:58 -0500, Bev Brandt wrote:

<snip>
>
> Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
> he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
> and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
> with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)
>
> That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
> accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
> in the middle of the night to go!
>
> Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
> hope that even late trainers eventually train.
>
> - Bev

Yay!!!

Susan

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
Bev Brandt > wrote:

>So, one morning as he was kind of struggling putting on his diaper and
>complaining that the process was too slow and he couldn't do it by
>himself, I casually said: "Underwear is easier to put on and faster."
>He trotted up to his room, got his underwear out (we'd also switched
>him over to a chest of drawers that he could more easily open) and put
>on underwear. I told him that was great, but I didn't say too much
>else because he'd done this part before.
>
>Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
>he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
>and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
>with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)
>
>That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
>accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
>in the middle of the night to go!
>
>Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
>hope that even late trainers eventually train.

Awesome! Congrats to you and your son. :)

No miracles here yet, but we mention the pleasure of underwear from
time to time. He hasn't tried them on yet. He'll probably decide to
wear underwear the day before we leave on our summer vacation :-O


Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

[Robyn Kozierok]

So, I wrote earlier about my almost-3yo who was resisting potty training.
Since then he has turned 3 and has shown very clearly that he is physically
ready to train. We just have to get him to go along with it :-)

In the past several weeks, he has become very sensitive to having a wet
diaper, and asks to have it changed as soon as he pees. For the past
several days, he has begun doing the "potty dance" before peeing. Today,
he danced, wiggled, squirmed etc. for over an hour before finally peeing.
In that time we offered him the potty, took him out to "pee on a tree",
even told him to go ahead and do it in his diaper and we would change him
(which is what finally happened, but not when I suggested it). He has
also woken up dry for the past several days. (For about a week before
that, he would pee at 4am then wake me to change him! ack!)

He still has yet to sit on the potty naked, though he regularly sits on
it fully clothed.

He is obviously so close, he just has to want to do it. Hopefully
that piece will come soon :)


--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

[Mary]

"Robyn Kozierok" > wrote in message
...
> So, I wrote earlier about my almost-3yo who was resisting potty training.
> Since then he has turned 3 and has shown very clearly that he is
physically
> ready to train. We just have to get him to go along with it :-)
>
> In the past several weeks, he has become very sensitive to having a wet
> diaper, and asks to have it changed as soon as he pees. For the past
> several days, he has begun doing the "potty dance" before peeing. Today,
> he danced, wiggled, squirmed etc. for over an hour before finally peeing.
> In that time we offered him the potty, took him out to "pee on a tree",
> even told him to go ahead and do it in his diaper and we would change him
> (which is what finally happened, but not when I suggested it). He has
> also woken up dry for the past several days. (For about a week before
> that, he would pee at 4am then wake me to change him! ack!)
>
> He still has yet to sit on the potty naked, though he regularly sits on
> it fully clothed.
>
> He is obviously so close, he just has to want to do it. Hopefully
> that piece will come soon :)
>
>
> --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
>

For my boys, it wasn't so much as the potty that was hard. It was #2 that
was difficult...because they aren't used to sitting to go, they are used to
standing and doing it in their diaper. All I can do is wish you the best of
luck at this point. All kids are different.

--
Mary