Newbie to newsgroups, not to being a mom.

[DPB]

Hello Everyone. I am new to the group. I have a 6 y.o. son (who will turn 7
in May) and a 19 m.o. daughter.

I was just reading on some of the topics and thought I would share what's
going on right now with my son.

He's been on & off of Augmentin (antibiotic) for about 2 years. A year ago
January, he had his adenoids & tonsils taken out and vents/tubes put in his
ears. He's still having problems-on top of going through allergy
testing-painfully aful for him & me alike. I took him to our ped. doc 2
weeks ago for a terrible cough that repeatedly got him sent home from
school. It's his sinuses, so the doc prescribed Augmentin for 3 weeks. After
1 1/2 weeks, all of a sudden, he breaks out in the WORST hives! Hauled him
back in yesterday to be informed it's the Augmentin! Ugh. He is allergic to
June-July grass, Spring to Fall mold and dustmites, so he's on Sigulair,
which seems to be working quite fine. Also-we just saw his allergist & he
has regular check-ups. Will this ever end?

Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends home
homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every night?!?!
We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever since, his
teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on every little
thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his teacher would
see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to stay in at
recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am at a loss. My
son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds? Some
kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a lesson in
child development, IMO.

OK-that's enough for now...hope to get some helpful feedback.
Mary

[Penny Gaines]

DPB wrote in >:

> Hello Everyone. I am new to the group. I have a 6 y.o. son (who will turn
> 7 in May) and a 19 m.o. daughter.
[snip]
> Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends
> home homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every
> night?!?! We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever
> since, his teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on
> every little thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his
> teacher would see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to
> stay in at recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am
> at a loss. My son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with
> the other kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different
> speeds? Some kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a
> lesson in child development, IMO.
[snip]

I just wanted to say "hello" and welcome to misc.kids.moderated. I think
newsgroups are really brilliant: I've been using them for an embarrassingly
long time, and get more of my childcare advice from them, rather then
anywhere else.

I haven't really got any advice for you, with the augmentin, or the teacher
problem. But I wanted to let you know you aren't being ignored.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

[Just call me \Mary\]

Thank you for the Welcome. I'm just going to read and see what I all
learn. Nothing really to say right now. I was actually starting to think my
post wasn't posted! I don't recall seeing it-but that's because I am
subscribed to too many newsgroups. Thanks again, Penny.
--
Mary
Mom of 2 Sweeties on Earth and 2 Sweeties in Heaven

"Penny Gaines" > wrote in message
...
> DPB wrote in >:
>
> [snip]

> [snip]
>
> I just wanted to say "hello" and welcome to misc.kids.moderated. I
think
> newsgroups are really brilliant: I've been using them for an
embarrassingly
> long time, and get more of my childcare advice from them, rather then
> anywhere else.
>
> I haven't really got any advice for you, with the augmentin, or the
teacher
> problem. But I wanted to let you know you aren't being ignored.
>
> --
> Penny Gaines
> UK mum to three
>

[Kevin Karplus]

In article >, Just call me "Mary" wrote:
> Thank you for the Welcome. I'm just going to read and see what I all
> learn. Nothing really to say right now. I was actually starting to think my
> post wasn't posted! I don't recall seeing it-but that's because I am
> subscribed to too many newsgroups. Thanks again, Penny.

Mary,

I read your post also and was going to followup, but found I had
nothing really to say. You seemed to be venting steam (something we
all use the newsgroup for from time to time) without any specific
questions that I could answer.

Allergies to medicine can develop fairly suddenly. I just recently
discovered that I'm probably allergic to amoxicillin, after getting
treated with it for a sinus infection. I'm pretty sure I've taken it
in the past without reaction, but I'll be avoiding the cillins in future.
Luckily, there are a lot of different families of antibiotics, so you
can avoid one or two families of them without much consequence.
Still, the possible development of allegic reactions is another reason
to avoid taking antibiotics unless they are really needed (the reason
most often given is to avoid breeding antibiotic resistance in
bacteria).

--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

[Beth Gallagher]

"DPB" > wrote >
> Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends
home
> homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every
night?!?!
> We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever since, his
> teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on every little
> thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his teacher
would
> see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to stay in at
> recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am at a loss.
My
> son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
> kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds?
Some
> kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a lesson in
> child development, IMO.

Hi, Mary: I certainly prefer a teaching approach and an educational
environment that respects kids' learning and developmental differences --
especially for little 6 year olds -- but the fact is that public schools,
generally, are being held to some pretty rigid standards for each grade
level. His teacher doesn't make the rules; her boss's bosses' bosses' (and
ultimately the taxpayers) do. If he is having real trouble with any of the
grade-level work as it's being presented, try to work with the teacher to
find out why and to determine a way to help him up to speed.

Similarly for his behavior, have you spoken to her about exactly what he's
doing and under what circumstances? If he can behave on the bus, where I
think most kids tend to be worse-behaved than in the classroom, then he is
capable of behaving in general. But there may be something specific about
the classroom situation that could easily be changed to enable good
behavior; e.g., are there kids he loves being bad with there, and if so,
could he be separated from them? Is he bored with the classroom work, either
because it's too easy or too confusing to him? Is the day too long for him?
Does he get recess? Six-year-olds need recess, but then he needs to
understand that wildness and free socializing is reserved for recess. How
can you two work together to help him behave in class?

I know there is such a thing as anti-boy sexism and that some teachers just
don't understand about kids being kids, learning- and behavior-wise, but I
wouldn't write the teacher off without hearing the full story from her
(maybe you have. . . ) and trying first to work *with* her. Your son does
need to learn to behave in class and he does need to meet his school's
grade-level standards. If you can tell us some speciofic problems he's
having, you may get some better feedback about whether the teacher or school
is indeed being unreasonable and/or how to help your son. Good luck!

[Scott]

DPB wrote:

>
> Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends home
> homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every night?!?!
> We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever since, his
> teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on every little
> thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his teacher would
> see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to stay in at
> recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am at a loss. My
> son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
> kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds? Some
> kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a lesson in
> child development, IMO.

I will agree with you that that is an excessive amount of homework
for a 6-yo. (1st grader? Kindergartener?) At that age all you
really find out is how much the parents work to get the kid to
work at home, and it's really not at all helpful. I read your
description as one of a school where the Principal's salary raise
and bonus are tied to School Test Results for the 6-year-olds, so
(s)he has mandated they learn all this stuff, and the teacher is
trying. Maybe it's not the Principal, maybe it's the superintendent.

DS is in 2nd grade, 8-yo, and gets one math sheet per week (and
that's optional) homework. That's it. He is finally at a point
where he can do it mostly by himself -- we don't have to read it
to him, we don't have to re-cast the questions so he understands
them. He can just do it.

Not much advice to give you, I'm afraid. We have not yet had to
deal with a teacher who had it in for a kid, what a horribly
powerless feeling that must be. At least school is 3/4 over --
hang in there, and don't let your son get discouraged. (I'm
assuming he's not at risk for being held back).

Next year, I would talk about your concerns early with his next
teacher. Chances are, the teachers are aware of the present
teacher's opinions, and they may or may not share them. You'll
have to tell his new teacher why she was wrong. Diplomatically,
of course ;)

Scott DD 10.5 and DS 8

[Robyn Kozierok]

In article >,
DPB > wrote:
>Hello Everyone. I am new to the group. I have a 6 y.o. son (who will turn 7
>in May) and a 19 m.o. daughter.

Hi, and welcome to the group!
>
>Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends home
>homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every night?!?!
>We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever since, his
>teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on every little
>thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his teacher would
>see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to stay in at
>recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am at a loss. My
>son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
>kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds? Some
>kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a lesson in
>child development, IMO.

You're venting/rambling a bit here and it is hard to tease out your specific
concerns.

Homework for first graders (for primary students in general) is a big
pet peeve of mine. How long does it take per night? 10-15 minutes
could be reasonable at this age. More isn't IMO. However, homework
policy likely comes from higher up than the teacher, and can be hard to
change, especially if many parents and administrators in the district
believe (mistakenly, according to the research) that more homework will
lead to more learning, and better achievement test scores.

You say:

>My son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
>kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds?

I'm sure she does know this, but it is her job to get every child in
the class to a certain level by the end of the year (or by the time
standardized testing is done). The fact that children develop at
different rates is not honored by traditional lock-step age/grade-based
schooling. If your son really doesn't fit well into such a system,
perhaps you can look into whether any alternative schools in your
area might better meet his needs.

If your son is smart but consistently behind the other kids (in one subject
or all?) perhaps he should be tested for learning disabilities. Or perhaps
he just needs a little extra support to get things to start to "click".

Keeping kids in from recess to finish work is a bad idea, IMO. It deprives
them of the chance to burn off steam and return refreshed and ready to get
back to work, which then makes the next set of lessons go poorly as well.

Good luck,
--Robyn

[Kevin Karplus]

In article >, Scott wrote:
> DPB wrote:
>
>>
>> Also-his teacher is driving me up a wall! How can I win when she sends home
>> homework 5 days a week-4 books to read, plus math flashcards-every night?!?!
>> We moved back in October, so he had to change schools and ever since, his
>> teacher seems to have put a target on his back-phoning me on every little
>> thing he does. His bus driver says he's a great kid, wish his teacher would
>> see that. Why is it when I go to school & kids that have to stay in at
>> recess to finish up their school work are ALL boys? I just am at a loss. My
>> son is smart, but she expects him to be right up there with the other
>> kids-doesn't she know that different kids develop at different speeds? Some
>> kids do good in reading, but not as well in math? SHE needs a lesson in
>> child development, IMO.
>
> I will agree with you that that is an excessive amount of homework
> for a 6-yo. (1st grader? Kindergartener?) At that age all you
> really find out is how much the parents work to get the kid to
> work at home, and it's really not at all helpful. I read your
> description as one of a school where the Principal's salary raise
> and bonus are tied to School Test Results for the 6-year-olds, so
> (s)he has mandated they learn all this stuff, and the teacher is
> trying. Maybe it's not the Principal, maybe it's the superintendent.
>
> DS is in 2nd grade, 8-yo, and gets one math sheet per week (and
> that's optional) homework. That's it. He is finally at a point
> where he can do it mostly by himself -- we don't have to read it
> to him, we don't have to re-cast the questions so he understands
> them. He can just do it.

My son is also in 2nd grade, just turned 8. They get about 8 pages of
homework a week: 4 math pages, 3 spelling pages (with 10 words a week),
writing 10 sentences (using the spelling words), and writing a book report.
They are also supposed to read for 20 minutes a day, with their
reading recorded in the book log. My wife thinks that the homework is
excessive for the age group, I'm not so sure. Our son can do the
week's math in about 5 minutes, and the spelling pages in about 10.
The reading is a tiny fraction of what he chooses to do. The only
part of the homework that causes any trouble is the writing---both the
spelling sentences and the book report. Although the actual writing
does not take very long, getting him to start is very difficult.

Requiring 6-year-olds to read or be read to 20 minutes a day seems
perfectly reasonable. Math flash cards are extremely tedious though,
and probably not a good way to teach math for that age group.

One thing that the teacher does that has been quite helpful is to send
the homework home on Fridays and collect it the next Friday. This
allows us to schedule things around the other activities of the week,
like doing the book report over the weekend and the spelling sentences
in the time before aikido class. (Now if only we could keep to the
schedule!)

This is our last week with this teacher, though, as I'm going on
sabbatical up to Seattle, and my son will have the rest of the school
year in a different school. I'm not sure which one yet---we're
visiting Meridian, Green Lake, and Spruce Street School on April 1 and
April 2. We couldn't get into Jon Stanford International's Spanish
immersion program, which would have been the closest to what he has at
his current school.

Any Seattlites on this list have experience with any of the
above-mentioned schools?


--
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Affiliations for identification only.

[Barbara]

Scott > wrote in message >...
> DPB wrote:
SNIP
> Next year, I would talk about your concerns early with his next
> teacher. Chances are, the teachers are aware of the present
> teacher's opinions, and they may or may not share them. You'll
> have to tell his new teacher why she was wrong. Diplomatically,
> of course ;)
>
Not much advice for this year, I'm afraid. It seems that there is a
bad fit between your son and his teacher and its probably too late in
the year to do much about it except to ensure that it doesn't affect
your son's self image.

Scott suggested talking to the teachers early next year. I'd go even
further. Ask to talk to the principal, or whomever makes class
assignments for next year. Try to get a handle on exactly what it is
about this year's teacher that makes him/her a bad fit, and qualities
of a teacher that you think would be more beneficial. I'd resist the
urge to criticize this year's teacher (although when we took this
route, my DH practically had to gag me to stop me from doing so).
Concentrate on getting a teacher for next year who can work well with
your son. In this way, we went from the
kindergarten-teachers-from-hell-whom-I-still-want-to-stick-voodoo-doll-pins-into
to the-best-first-grade-teachers-on-earth.

Barbara