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Cat
July 9th 03, 03:54 AM
This girl I know...I'll not refer to her as a friend becuz I can't stand
her...she is my best friends sister-in-law, is about 5 months pregnant and
still smokes almost 2 packs a day. A couple people have commented to her that
she is "killing her baby". I feel that she doesn't care enough about her child
to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this board
share my opinion, or have a different opinion?



"Id like to shoot you in the ass with a B.B. gun, lay there in the tall grass
and laugh at what I done. Leave a big blood blister upon each bun, I'd like to
shoot you in the ass with a B.B. gun"

kereru
July 9th 03, 09:30 AM
A couple people have commented to her that
> she is "killing her baby". I feel that she doesn't care enough about her
child
> to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this
board
> share my opinion, or have a different opinion?

Someone very close to me smoked throughout both of her pregnancies and of
course I strongly disaproved. However I don't think it is fair to say that
she didn't care about her children.

Personally I can't see why smokers don't give up but at the same time I know
it isn't a measure of love, it's a measure of how addicted to smoking she
is. We all make our own decisions about what we need to do for our children
and what we need to do for ourselves. Once you conceive these decisions
never stop. Some people give up coffee some don't, some take vitamins some
don't, some have a few drinks during pregnancy some don't.

It's a tough one but there really is nothing you can do about it. Telling
her that she is a bad mother will not help. Reminding her of the effects it
could have on the baby won't either. I bet she already knows. All you can do
is hope that the baby is unaffected and perhaps ask her if she needs any
support cutting down on the smoking.

Sorry I can't offer any solutions.

Rupert
July 9th 03, 04:52 PM
"kereru" > wrote in message >...
> A couple people have commented to her that
> > she is "killing her baby". I feel that she doesn't care enough about her
> child
> > to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this
> board
> > share my opinion, or have a different opinion?
>
> Someone very close to me smoked throughout both of her pregnancies and of
> course I strongly disaproved. However I don't think it is fair to say that
> she didn't care about her children.
>
> Personally I can't see why smokers don't give up but at the same time I know
> it isn't a measure of love, it's a measure of how addicted to smoking she
> is. We all make our own decisions about what we need to do for our children
> and what we need to do for ourselves. Once you conceive these decisions
> never stop. Some people give up coffee some don't, some take vitamins some
> don't, some have a few drinks during pregnancy some don't.
>
> It's a tough one but there really is nothing you can do about it. Telling
> her that she is a bad mother will not help. Reminding her of the effects it
> could have on the baby won't either. I bet she already knows. All you can do
> is hope that the baby is unaffected and perhaps ask her if she needs any
> support cutting down on the smoking.
>
> Sorry I can't offer any solutions.


My mother smoked while pregnant with me. I was born weighing 9 pounds
and 21 inches long. I wish she hadn't smoked, but I seem to be okay
(this, of course, is a matter of opinion).

Ali's Daddie
July 9th 03, 05:15 PM
"Cat" > wrote in message
...
> This girl I know...I'll not refer to her as a friend becuz I can't stand
> her...she is my best friends sister-in-law, is about 5 months pregnant and
> still smokes almost 2 packs a day. A couple people have commented to her
that
> she is "killing her baby". I feel that she doesn't care enough about her
child
> to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this
board
> share my opinion, or have a different opinion?
>

I dont think it means that she does not care about the baby. Smoking is hard
to stop for some.

As soon as we found out my sister was pregnant, Jarrod and I both quit.
(October 13th 2002)

My sister quit with us, but unknown to us until labor, she started again at
about 7 months gestation.

I was worried, but my mom smoked with all of us, and ..well.. bad example
lol

But I think my generation had more parents that smoked than those that
didn't smoke. It was considered "classy' in the 60's and 70's (from old tv
shows.. because i was not born until 1992.. LOL)

--

LES!

Daddie to Alegra Lee. May 25th 2003!
"Daddie's Little Diva"

before you reply to me via email,
please remove your hat


H Schinske
July 10th 03, 12:28 AM
>
>"Cat" > wrote in message
...
>> This girl I know...I'll not refer to her as a friend becuz I can't stand
>> her...she is my best friends sister-in-law, is about 5 months pregnant and
>> still smokes almost 2 packs a day.

Having lived with a number of addicted smokers over the years, I can well
understand having a hard time quitting totally. I *cannot* understand not even
cutting down. Two packs a day is a *lot*, and the damage is very
dose-dependent.

--Helen

zeldabee
July 10th 03, 05:10 PM
(H Schinske) wrote:
> >"Cat" > wrote...
> >> This girl I know...I'll not refer to her as a friend becuz I can't
> >> stand her...she is my best friends sister-in-law, is about 5 months
> >> pregnant and still smokes almost 2 packs a day.
>
> Having lived with a number of addicted smokers over the years, I can well
> understand having a hard time quitting totally. I *cannot* understand not
> even cutting down. Two packs a day is a *lot*, and the damage is very
> dose-dependent.

I didn't smoke that much when I did smoke, but still, quitting was hard,
and I had several false starts. I smoked fewer cigarettes, but they were
the filterless strong ones--Lucky Strike or Drum roll-yer-owns. I'm just so
glad I quit a couple of years ago, because I can imagine how stressful it
would be trying to quit in early pregnancy.

You know what's odd, a few times during this pregnancy, I've walked past
smokers, and the smoke smelled *good*. This is very strange, since that
smell has nauseated me since I quit. Not to worry, though, I'm not even
remotely tempted.

--
z e l d a b e e @ p a n i x . c o m http://NewsReader.Com/

Naomi Pardue
July 10th 03, 05:26 PM
> I feel that she doesn't care enough about her child
>to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this board
>share my opinion, or have a different opinion?
>

Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances known. Quitting smoking can
be increadibly diffficult to do -- more difficult, perhaps, than quitting
illicit drugs, since cigarettes can be easily and legally purchased at every
convenience store.

Yes, it would be best for her to quit or at least cut back. And yes, I'm sure
she knows that. Why she has not quit or cut back, I don't know, but we can't
assume that it is because she doesn't care about her baby.
(And while, statistically, smoking DOES put her baby at increased risk for many
things, of course we all know that many smoking mothers give birth to healthy,
normal babies, so she may be one of the lucky ones.)


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

Dagny
July 10th 03, 05:30 PM
MMM I agree with a lot of the other posters. I am not educated on the
effects of heavy smoking on the fetus, it's a really bad idea, but the kid
will probably be born live and "normal" if that's all she's doing wrong, and
it's a powerful addiction with which I sympathize. Maybe you can convince
her to chew nicotine gum instead. Nicotine is a stimulant, certainly, but
she'd be avoiding all the other muck that ends up in her blood along with
the nicotine when you use cigarettes as your nicotine delivery system.

But all of us of course want our children to be as intact as possible in
their own potential and don't want to settle for "normal" where the genetic
potential is that the child could have been better off but-for what we're
doing.


"Cat" > wrote in message
...
> This girl I know...I'll not refer to her as a friend becuz I can't stand
> her...she is my best friends sister-in-law, is about 5 months pregnant and
> still smokes almost 2 packs a day. A couple people have commented to her
that
> she is "killing her baby". I feel that she doesn't care enough about her
child
> to quit for the few months left in her pregnancy....does anyone on this
board
> share my opinion, or have a different opinion?
>
>
>
> "Id like to shoot you in the ass with a B.B. gun, lay there in the tall
grass
> and laugh at what I done. Leave a big blood blister upon each bun, I'd
like to
> shoot you in the ass with a B.B. gun"

H Schinske
July 10th 03, 07:39 PM
> I *cannot* understand not
>> even cutting down. Two packs a day is a *lot*,

Following up on my own post -- two packs a day is forty cigarettes, right? If
she smokes for 16 hours out of the 24, that's 2.5 cigarettes an hour, so that
means lighting up every 20 to 30 minutes *all day long*.

--Helen

==Daye==
July 10th 03, 10:43 PM
On 10 Jul 2003 16:10:02 GMT, zeldabee
> wrote:

> I'm just so
>glad I quit a couple of years ago, because I can imagine how stressful it
>would be trying to quit in early pregnancy.

Believe it or not, it wasn't stressful at all for me to quit in
early pregnancy. The act of smoking made me very nauseous. I
would gag on the cigs. Then I would decide that maybe I should
quit. I would quit, and then less than a week later, I would
find I was pregnant. Being pregnant made it easy NOT to start
again. This happened with BOTH pregnancies.

Quitting is easy. Not starting again is the hard part.

--
==Daye==
E-mail: brendana AT labyrinth DOT net DOT au

zeldabee
July 11th 03, 04:28 PM
==Daye== > wrote:
> zeldabee > wrote:
>
> > I'm just so
> >glad I quit a couple of years ago, because I can imagine how stressful
> >it would be trying to quit in early pregnancy.
>
> Believe it or not, it wasn't stressful at all for me to quit in
> early pregnancy. The act of smoking made me very nauseous. I
> would gag on the cigs. Then I would decide that maybe I should
> quit. I would quit, and then less than a week later, I would
> find I was pregnant. Being pregnant made it easy NOT to start
> again. This happened with BOTH pregnancies.
>
> Quitting is easy. Not starting again is the hard part.

I quit smoking two years ago in October, and I haven't had the urge to
start up again. Now that I don't drink anymore, I don't ever get a strong
enough urge pick up cigarettes again. When I did drink, I quit several
times, but drinking, and being around people drinking and smoking, would
always get me started again.

--
z e l d a b e e @ p a n i x . c o m http://NewsReader.Com/