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Ebook Profits Center
July 9th 03, 04:15 AM
Hello Everyone,

Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
Huh!!

Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
You may be thinking so where is the real problem.

My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure her
that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
course I am not absolutely positive about that.

So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is only
3 days) or should I not go?

Please I would love your honest opinions.

Alicia Elliott
July 9th 03, 05:46 AM
Hi there, I am pleased to hear that you care enough to ask others' opinions
before going ahead with either plan, it is always good to hear about a
caring husband trying to do what's best.

My opinion, (as a very pregnant woman who has also had some difficulties),
is that you would be much more appreciated at home comforting and supporting
your wife during the final weeks of her pregnancy and if she goes into
labour, her birth. Your mother shouldn't have asked you to go away with her
so late in your wife's pregnancy anyway. It sounds like she is in a bit of
a power struggle with your wife for your attention. However, your wife
really needs you right now, and your emotional support to a woman with
hormones racing through her body would be most helpful. Like the previous
poster said, perhaps you can suggest to your mum that you rebook the trip
when your new baby has arrived and a routine has been established.

Good luck!
-Alicia


"Ebook Profits Center" > wrote in message
thlink.net...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
> Huh!!
>
> Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
> drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
> You may be thinking so where is the real problem.
>
> My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
> high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
> there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure
her
> that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
> course I am not absolutely positive about that.
>
> So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is
only
> 3 days) or should I not go?
>
> Please I would love your honest opinions.
>
>

Di
July 9th 03, 06:46 AM
On Wed, 09 Jul 2003 03:15:41 GMT, "Ebook Profits Center"
> wrote:
>So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is only
>3 days) or should I not go?
>
>Please I would love your honest opinions.

As someone who went through what ended up as a complicated pregnancy,
I wanted and needed my husband as support all the time. Given you
don't know that nothing will happen in the three days you are gone (if
you had asked us the night before I went into preterm labour we would
have said everything was fine), I wouldn't go. With the problems your
wife is having the stress of you going away most likely will not help
her condition.

Also ask yourself - if something did happen while you where away how
would you feel able it?

As another posters have suggested - see if you can move the visit a
few weeks later (say 2/3 weeks after your wifes due date).

If you can not get out of going (your grandmother is doing very poorly
would be the only reason I would accept if I was your wife), take your
firstborn with you, make sure your wife has a very strong support
network (someone to come in and see her each and every day, someone
she can call 24 hours a day is there is a problem who is also willing
and able to drive her to hospital at the drop of a hat, etc).


Di

Sara
July 9th 03, 12:29 PM
I know if I was in your wife shoes I would be very stressed if my husband
left a month before my due date. I know of many women who went into labor a
month before the due date. And I am sure the stress of you going away and
wondering if your going to miss anything may isnt going to help her high
blood pressure. I'd prioritze what is more important to you, making your
mother happy (if she is not ill as the others have said) or missing your
child's birth, or if she goes into the hospital while you are gone......

My two cents

Sara
19 weeks



"Ebook Profits Center" > wrote in message
thlink.net...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
> Huh!!
>
> Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
> drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
> You may be thinking so where is the real problem.
>
> My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
> high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
> there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure
her
> that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
> course I am not absolutely positive about that.
>
> So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is
only
> 3 days) or should I not go?
>
> Please I would love your honest opinions.
>
>

Esther
July 9th 03, 01:13 PM
> My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
> high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
> there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure her
> that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
> course I am not absolutely positive about that.

Hire a limo or private ambulance for your mom's long trip.

Tell them you will be glad to go in 10 weeks, but not before 5 weeks.

If your wife's blood pressure has any signs of turning pre-eclamptic,
it can be a life-or-death emergency in a moment.

Just a wife and mother of four (complications in 3 of the pregnancies)
chiming in.

Esther

silvasurfa
July 9th 03, 03:18 PM
"Ebook Profits Center" > wrote in message
thlink.net...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
> Huh!!
>
> Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
> drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.

How long does it take in an aircraft... like maybe a couple of hours each
way as opposed to about a day each way for you to drive it? Buy momma a
plane ticket, sling her $100 to cover taxi fares etc and wish her luck.
She'll have more time actually *with* her mother that way too. I'm not
surprised your wife doesn't like her MIL, if MIL is all the time ordering
you to do stuff she could perfectly organise for herself.

Nina
July 9th 03, 03:52 PM
Don't go. As a husband and father your primary obligation is to your wife
and child.
Nina
"Ebook Profits Center" > wrote in message
thlink.net...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
> Huh!!
>
> Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
> drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
> You may be thinking so where is the real problem.
>
> My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
> high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
> there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure
her
> that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
> course I am not absolutely positive about that.
>
> So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is
only
> 3 days) or should I not go?
>
> Please I would love your honest opinions.
>
>

Ali's Daddie
July 9th 03, 04:29 PM
"Nina" > wrote in message
t...
> Don't go. As a husband and father your primary obligation is to your wife
> and child.
> Nina

I like your style.. short and sweet and to the point.

Wish *I* could be like that. It takes me 2 paragraphs to tell someone what
time it is lol.

--

LES!

Daddie to Alegra Lee. May 25th 2003!
"Daddie's Little Diva"

before you reply to me via email,
please remove your hat


Crystal Dreamer
July 9th 03, 04:36 PM
"Ali's Daddie" wrote:
>
> "Nina" wrote:
> > Don't go. As a husband and father your primary obligation is to your
wife
> > and child.
> > Nina
>
> I like your style.. short and sweet and to the point.
>
> Wish *I* could be like that. It takes me 2 paragraphs to tell someone what
> time it is lol.
>

I agree. My initial response was, if my husband left me even for 3 days at
the end of my pregnancy, I would be very upset, hurt and scared.

--
-Crystal Dreamer
http://www.livin-it-up.net
remove my shoes to reply
edd December 31, 2003

Nina
July 9th 03, 05:01 PM
"Ali's Daddie" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Nina" > wrote in message
> t...
> > Don't go. As a husband and father your primary obligation is to your
wife
> > and child.
> > Nina
>
> I like your style.. short and sweet and to the point.
>
> Wish *I* could be like that. It takes me 2 paragraphs to tell someone what
> time it is lol.
>

Thanks. I was tired, given adequate time and energy I can make anything into
War and Peace!
Nina

Esther
July 9th 03, 05:44 PM
One of those folks who has to build a clock first, eh?

> It takes me 2 paragraphs to tell someone what
> time it is lol.

Ali's Daddie
July 9th 03, 06:03 PM
"Esther" > wrote in message
...
> One of those folks who has to build a clock first, eh?
>


exactly

WOW! A one word response! (oops, ruined that one lol)

--

LES!

Daddie to Alegra Lee. May 25th 2003!
"Daddie's Little Diva"

before you reply to me via email,
please remove your hat


Larry McMahan
July 9th 03, 08:05 PM
I agree with the posters that say you should not leave your wife at 35
weeks to drive your mother. However I DISAGREE with those who suggest
doing it a month after the baby is born. IME, your wife will need your
constant help and assistance then EVEN MORE than she needs it now!!!

Buy your mother a plane, train, or bus ticket.

Larry

Ebook Profits Center > writes:
: Hello Everyone,

: Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
: Huh!!

: Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
: drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
: You may be thinking so where is the real problem.

: My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
: high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
: there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure her
: that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
: course I am not absolutely positive about that.

: So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is only
: 3 days) or should I not go?

: Please I would love your honest opinions.

Stephanie S
July 9th 03, 08:16 PM
"Ebook Profits Center" > wrote in message
thlink.net...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
> Huh!!
>
> Anyways, my mother is getting up there in age and she recently asked me to
> drive her 700 miles to see her mom which of course is also my grandmother.
> You may be thinking so where is the real problem.
>
> My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. She is experiencing some complications like
> high blood pressure and anemia. She is worried that I am not going to be
> there for the birth of my second child with her. I have tried to assure
her
> that nothing is going to happen in the 3 days that I will be gone but of
> course I am not absolutely positive about that.
>
> So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is
only
> 3 days) or should I not go?
>
> Please I would love your honest opinions.
>
>

My honest opinion is that if my husband suggested this, I would be ripping
furious. Your wife could go into labor at any time. Also, she is likely
fantastically tired, heavy and distressed. She needs you now as much as she
does in labor. My husband was taking very good care of me in this period
with my son. Heck, I am only 29 weeks and my DH is taking very good care of
me and our son. And this is really, really important.

Don't let this become a fight between your wife and your mother. Help your
mom find a way to make her trip, greyhound, airplane, wait until after the
baby is born (well after). But be there for your wife.

That's my opinion.

Stephanie

Stephanie S
July 9th 03, 08:20 PM
"Esther" > wrote in message
...
> I sort of disagree with Larry. As a mom of four I can
> honestly say that 1 month PP I was able to function on
> my own to take care of the kids. When my hubby would be
> away on business, I would miss him terribly but survive.


Same here. When he was away on business I *had* to survive. No one told me I
was doing a bang up job, but I was. This was a case where my expectation
MADE the bad reality. This time, I know I will be fine a couple of weeks
after. But new mom syndrome can be tough too.

> It would be best if you don't go at all, unless you are
> very close to your grandmother and wish to say your good-byes
> to her. If you feel YOU need to take the trip, then do
> it - barring any complications for your wife or #2. If
> all goes well with the birth for both your wife and your
> #2, then you have MY blessings to take a 3 day trip after
> a month post partum. And remember to bring photos when
> you do. And remember to take scrupulous care of hygiene
> when travelling so you don't bring any nasty germs home
> to a new born. Esther
>

Stephanie S
July 9th 03, 08:21 PM
"Larry McMahan" > wrote in message
...
> Esther > writes:
> : I sort of disagree with Larry. As a mom of four I can
> : honestly say that 1 month PP I was able to function on
> : my own to take care of the kids. When my hubby would be
> : away on business, I would miss him terribly but survive.
> : It would be best if you don't go at all, unless you are
> : very close to your grandmother and wish to say your good-byes
> : to her. If you feel YOU need to take the trip, then do
> : it - barring any complications for your wife or #2. If
> : all goes well with the birth for both your wife and your
> : #2, then you have MY blessings to take a 3 day trip after
> : a month post partum. And remember to bring photos when
> : you do. And remember to take scrupulous care of hygiene
> : when travelling so you don't bring any nasty germs home
> : to a new born. Esther
>
> OK. Since I respect you so much Esther, I will modify my
> advice. :-) See how things are going at the 1 months
> point, and if your wife isn't still depedning on you for
> a great deal of help and is amenible then you can get away
> for about 3 days. :-)
>
> Larry


Like, if she is still throwing that baby at you when you walk in the door
from work, don't go? That was me. Tee Hee. I wish I could go back and tell
myself how much easier it was than I *thought* it was.

S

July 9th 03, 08:41 PM
It might be good to wait and see if the baby is healthy.. my baby was born with heart defects that
were not detected until she was two weeks old. She had to be rushed to the ICU and had to have
heart surgery right away.


"Stephanie S" > thought everything was going well until Wed, 09 Jul 2003
19:20:23 GMT, when "Stephanie S" > wrote the following to misc.kids.pregnancy
:

>
>"Esther" > wrote in message
...
>> I sort of disagree with Larry. As a mom of four I can
>> honestly say that 1 month PP I was able to function on
>> my own to take care of the kids. When my hubby would be
>> away on business, I would miss him terribly but survive.
>
>
>Same here. When he was away on business I *had* to survive. No one told me I
>was doing a bang up job, but I was. This was a case where my expectation
>MADE the bad reality. This time, I know I will be fine a couple of weeks
>after. But new mom syndrome can be tough too.
>
>> It would be best if you don't go at all, unless you are
>> very close to your grandmother and wish to say your good-byes
>> to her. If you feel YOU need to take the trip, then do
>> it - barring any complications for your wife or #2. If
>> all goes well with the birth for both your wife and your
>> #2, then you have MY blessings to take a 3 day trip after
>> a month post partum. And remember to bring photos when
>> you do. And remember to take scrupulous care of hygiene
>> when travelling so you don't bring any nasty germs home
>> to a new born. Esther
>>
>

Larry McMahan
July 9th 03, 08:43 PM
Esther > writes:
: I sort of disagree with Larry. As a mom of four I can
: honestly say that 1 month PP I was able to function on
: my own to take care of the kids. When my hubby would be
: away on business, I would miss him terribly but survive.
: It would be best if you don't go at all, unless you are
: very close to your grandmother and wish to say your good-byes
: to her. If you feel YOU need to take the trip, then do
: it - barring any complications for your wife or #2. If
: all goes well with the birth for both your wife and your
: #2, then you have MY blessings to take a 3 day trip after
: a month post partum. And remember to bring photos when
: you do. And remember to take scrupulous care of hygiene
: when travelling so you don't bring any nasty germs home
: to a new born. Esther

OK. Since I respect you so much Esther, I will modify my
advice. :-) See how things are going at the 1 months
point, and if your wife isn't still depedning on you for
a great deal of help and is amenible then you can get away
for about 3 days. :-)

Larry

Esther
July 9th 03, 09:48 PM
> OK. Since I respect you so much Esther, I will modify my
> advice. :-) See how things are going at the 1 months
> point, and if your wife isn't still depedning on you for
> a great deal of help and is amenible then you can get away
> for about 3 days. :-)

But not a minute longer. Laugh!

==Daye==
July 9th 03, 10:11 PM
On Wed, 09 Jul 2003 03:15:41 GMT, "Ebook Profits Center"
> wrote:

>Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise !!
>Huh!!

Actually, not everyone hates their MIL. I love my MIL. She is a
great woman. I get along with her very well.

>So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is only
>3 days) or should I not go?

Unless you are taking your wife with you, I wouldn't go. If my
DH left me at 35 weeks pregnant, my anger would know no bounds.

--
==Daye==
E-mail: brendana AT labyrinth DOT net DOT au
Momma to Jayan (6/01) and Smudge EDD 11 Jan 2004

zeldabee
July 10th 03, 04:30 PM
==Daye== > wrote:
> "Ebook Profits Center" > wrote:
>
> >Here is my problem. My mother and my wife don't get along. Big Surprise
> >!! Huh!!
>
> Actually, not everyone hates their MIL. I love my MIL. She is a
> great woman. I get along with her very well.

I still communicate occasionally with my former MIL. I like her very
much--she was a lot of help to me during the process of my splitting with
my ex-husband. Splitting with his whole family was nearly as traumatic to
me as the divorce itself.

> >So my big question to all of you, is should I go on this trip (which is
> >only 3 days) or should I not go?
>
> Unless you are taking your wife with you, I wouldn't go. If my
> DH left me at 35 weeks pregnant, my anger would know no bounds.

This brings to mind my current Situation...Bloke is a (non-professional)
downhill mountain bike racer. We've had some ongoing issues with
conflicting priorities, especially having to do with money, since our
budget has been so tight. It costs money very time he races, he puts money
into his bikes, etc.

Things have been very stressful lately, since we need to move by August 1,
and I've been searching for apartments, and haven't yet found one. Bloke
hasn't really been participating in the search--he's been working a lot,
since this is his busy season.

Anyway, to make a long story short, he'd mentioned going to a race this
weekend, even asking if I wanted to go along, and I'd told him that unless
we definitely had an apartment, that I'd need to spend the entire weekend
pounding the pavement looking at apartments...and that he might consider
staying around and doing the same, because we absolutely must be out of our
current apartment by the 1st. This doesn't seem to have penetrated, though,
because this morning he was still talking as though he was going...Saturday
through Sunday.

I let him have it with both barrels, after which he said he wouldn't go,
with a little resentment perhaps...I don't know, I know how much the racing
means to him, but I don't think I was out of line. I know he's working 65
hours a week, but I'm 7 months pregnant, working full time, and I haven't
had a day to relax for many weeks--I had one evening in the last 2 weeks
where I was able to come straight home from work instead of to an
appointment with a broker. I have *never* been under this much stress.

I don't want to sink into self-pity...it's been entirely clear to me from
the moment I decided to continue the pregnancy that there was a good chance
I'd end up a single mother. Bloke really seems to want this to work, but he
keeps doing stuff like this. It seems like the responsibility is just too
much for him. I'm just beyond frustrated.

Sorry this turned into a rant, BTW.

--
z e l d a b e e @ p a n i x . c o m http://NewsReader.Com/

Dittietx
July 14th 03, 09:20 PM
Simple put you mother on a plane.