Re: What would you ask a back-up OB?

[Dagny]

Probably I would just let them know how hard I was working to learn about
all these medical options and describe my general risk tolerance. If she
remembers you're an educated person maybe she will treat you better in terms
of presenting options for interventions and non-interventions during the
actual unpredictable event rather than just doing stuff or saying "you need
XXX, OK?"

Regarding circumcision, breast feeding, etc. that's the first thing my new
doctor put in my chart and is very prominent on his intake form. But that's
an important thing to have in the chart, IMO.

-- Dagny
EDD 10/6/03


"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> My next pre-natal appointment is with my midwife's back-up OB, just in
> case my care should end up having to be transferred during labor.
> Hopefully this will be the only appointment I have with her, so it's my
> only chance to ask anything I might want to talk to her about. I
> haven't been able to think of much though. Reviewing my birth plan
> doesn't seem very useful, since if I do see her again it'll be because
> things aren't going to plan anyway. Every question I can think of,
> cannot possibly be honestly answered with anything other than "It
> depends", so I would rather just leave any decisions to the time when
> they actually become necessary. So what would you want to talk to the
> OB about if you were in my situation?
> --
> Cheryl S.
> Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
> And a boy, EDD 4.Sept
>
> Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
> shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.
>
>
>

[==Daye==]

On Thu, 10 Jul 2003 12:54:44 -0400, "Cheryl S."
> wrote:

> So what would you want to talk to the
>OB about if you were in my situation?

Umm... possible questions...

What is the OB's c-section rate?
What is the OB's feeling on pain relief?

That is all I can think of. This is hard.

--
==Daye==
E-mail: brendana AT labyrinth DOT net DOT au

[==Daye==]

On Thu, 10 Jul 2003 14:31:50 -0400, Astromum
> wrote:

>People tend to make decisions for you, rather than ask you.

Oh, wow... this isn't my experience at all. I was asked about
everything that happened to me. I was able to say No. I also
had my DH as backup to fight for me, if I was unable to. He was
only needed once. All my other decisions were respected.

--
==Daye==
E-mail: brendana AT labyrinth DOT net DOT au

[Astromum]

==Daye== wrote:
> On Thu, 10 Jul 2003 14:31:50 -0400, Astromum
> > wrote:
>
>
>>People tend to make decisions for you, rather than ask you.
>
>
> Oh, wow... this isn't my experience at all. I was asked about
> everything that happened to me. I was able to say No. I also
> had my DH as backup to fight for me, if I was unable to. He was
> only needed once. All my other decisions were respected.

This is how they painted the picture *before* I went into
labour. But when I eventually got there, the experience
was quite different... Not always in a negative sense, but
definitely not the way they told us it would be.

--
-- Ilse
mom to Olaf (07/15/2002)
TTC #2
"What's the use of brains if you are a girl?"
Aletta Jacobs, first Dutch woman to receive a PhD

[Astromum]

==Daye== wrote:
>
> I hate misrepresentation. I expected to have to fight to get my
> wishes heard and respected, but I didn't. It was nice.
>
Good for you! I hope to experience that too, some time...

--
-- Ilse
mom to Olaf (07/15/2002)
TTC #2
"What's the use of brains if you are a girl?"
Aletta Jacobs, first Dutch woman to receive a PhD

[Ericka Kammerer]

Cheryl S. wrote:

> My next pre-natal appointment is with my midwife's back-up OB, just in
> case my care should end up having to be transferred during labor.
> Hopefully this will be the only appointment I have with her, so it's my
> only chance to ask anything I might want to talk to her about. I
> haven't been able to think of much though. Reviewing my birth plan
> doesn't seem very useful, since if I do see her again it'll be because
> things aren't going to plan anyway. Every question I can think of,
> cannot possibly be honestly answered with anything other than "It
> depends", so I would rather just leave any decisions to the time when
> they actually become necessary. So what would you want to talk to the
> OB about if you were in my situation?


I hear ya! I didn't have much in the way of insightful
questions to ask our backup OB. I had checked him out with a lot
of other people (midwives, other clients, etc.) so I felt I had
a decent idea how he was likely to handle a transfer and I also
liked that he had midwives in his practice and that I would transfer
into their care if the transfer was due to something that risked
me out of a homebirth, but not into something requiring an OB.
In hindsight, I might have asked him about versions--whether
he did them, what his success rate was, etc. As it turned out,
when I needed an OB for the version, I ended up going to someone
entirely different in order to get someone who was supposed to be
very, very good at them. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't
have picked that OB as my backup anyway because he wasn't at a
hospital that I would have chosen to be at. But if you're
interviewing, it might be an interesting question to ask.

Good luck,
Ericka

[Em]

"==Daye==" > wrote in message
Astromum
> > wrote:
>
> >This is how they painted the picture *before* I went into
> >labour. But when I eventually got there, the experience
> >was quite different... Not always in a negative sense, but
> >definitely not the way they told us it would be.
>
> I hate misrepresentation. I expected to have to fight to get my
> wishes heard and respected, but I didn't. It was nice.

This is what I'm really worried about in the event of a hospital transport
(having to fight). Since it would likely be quite an emergency that results
in transport, I know that a lot of my wishes would be automatically thrown
out the window (like the one about not wanting to go to the hospital!), but
I still have things that are really important to me about the baby's care
that I get really worried about having to fight for :-(

--
Em
edd 9/23/03

[Laurie]

Cheryl S. wrote in message ...
>My next pre-natal appointment is with my midwife's back-up OB, just in
>case my care should end up having to be transferred during labor.
>Hopefully this will be the only appointment I have with her, so it's my
>only chance to ask anything I might want to talk to her about. I
>haven't been able to think of much though. Reviewing my birth plan
>doesn't seem very useful, since if I do see her again it'll be because
>things aren't going to plan anyway. Every question I can think of,
>cannot possibly be honestly answered with anything other than "It
>depends", so I would rather just leave any decisions to the time when
>they actually become necessary. So what would you want to talk to the
>OB about if you were in my situation?
>--
>Cheryl S.
>Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
>And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

I just wanted to say that I don't really know what I'd ask, since I found
myself at almost all of my appointments with no questions and my OB asking
"do you have anything you want to talk about today?" and me saying "no, not
really". LOL. My point being, maybe you're just all set in that
department.

Helpful, huh? ;)

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*
>Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
>shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.
>
>

[Sandi]

Maybe you could ask about how she feels about episiotomies or forceps
deliveries (does she routinely do either of these things?), so you can let
her know what you would like her to try if she could?

--
Sandi
Abby (9/20/00)
Natalie (7/27/02...almost 1!!)

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> My next pre-natal appointment is with my midwife's back-up OB, just in
> case my care should end up having to be transferred during labor.
> Hopefully this will be the only appointment I have with her, so it's my
> only chance to ask anything I might want to talk to her about. I
> haven't been able to think of much though. Reviewing my birth plan
> doesn't seem very useful, since if I do see her again it'll be because
> things aren't going to plan anyway. Every question I can think of,
> cannot possibly be honestly answered with anything other than "It
> depends", so I would rather just leave any decisions to the time when
> they actually become necessary. So what would you want to talk to the
> OB about if you were in my situation?
> --
> Cheryl S.
> Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
> And a boy, EDD 4.Sept
>
> Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
> shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.
>
>

[==Daye==]

On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 02:44:27 GMT, "Em"
> wrote:

>This is what I'm really worried about in the event of a hospital transport
>(having to fight).

Make sure that your partner knows what you want and why *before*
anything happens. My DH knew exactly what I wanted and why. We
talked about it several times during the last part of my
pregnancy. He was there in case I couldn't stand up for myself.
He only had to come to my aid once, but when it did, it was
glorious.

--
==Daye==
Momma to Jayan
#2 EDD 11 Jan 2004
E-mail: brendana AT labyrinth DOT net DOT au

[Cheryl S.]

Astromum > wrote in message
...
> Actually, that is exactly what I would do, so she can get an idea
> of what my expecations are for a normal delivery. These can affect
> you seriously when things don't go as planned, and it may help her
> in deciding what to do when you do come in.

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I was waiting to read this thread
until I had time to think about the answers and take notes. I think the
doctor will know how I want things to go, just by virtue of my plan to
go to the birthing center rather than the hospital L&D, but it's always
better to talk about things than just think them, so you're right, I
will bring it up.

> If you do end up in hospital, be aware it is quite a different place
> than a birthing center or even home, if that's what you're
considering.
> People tend to make decisions for you, rather than ask you.

Julie was born in a hospital, so I do know what that's like. It being
"quite a different place" is exactly what I'm hoping for, in going to a
birth center this time! ;-)

> What I
> would do is think up a priority list of things that you do or don't
> want, and talk to her about the possibilities in different situations.

I think why I'm having trouble knowing what to talk to the doctor about,
is that the list of possibilities and different situations seems
endless, and I can't take up her time with a lot of "what if's". Hmmm.
The birth center brochure has a list of reasons my care would be
transferred. That's probably a good place to look to help think of
actual scenarios to ask about.

> Few things that pop to mind: does DH join you in case if an
> emergency c-section? Will the baby be at your side when you wake?
> Can DH join the nurse and film the first moments of your baby? Or
> would he rather stay near you? If hospitalized: where does the baby
> sleep? What is the policy on feeding/nursing/supplementing?

Thanks for these suggestions - I've noted them on my list.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

zeldabee > wrote in message
...
> ==Daye== > wrote:
> > Umm... possible questions...
> >
> > What is the OB's c-section rate?
>
> My OB would *not* answer this question, which really bothered
> me. She said, "Oh, it's very low..." but that was all she'd say.
> Fortunately, I should only end up with her if something really goes
> wrong.

I could never get a straight answer to this last time either, or to
"what is your episiotomy rate?". I first asked about the C-section rate
while touring the hospital, and was just told, "it depends on the
doctor". When I asked the doctors, I got evasive answers again, no
numbers ever. I thought I read somewhere that they are required to know
their statistics on those things, since they are surgical procedures.
So you wouldn't think it would be a difficult question to answer...
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

Ericka Kammerer > wrote in message
...
> I hear ya! I didn't have much in the way of insightful
> questions to ask our backup OB. I had checked him out with a lot
> of other people (midwives, other clients, etc.) so I felt I had
> a decent idea how he was likely to handle a transfer and I also
> liked that he had midwives in his practice and that I would transfer
> into their care if the transfer was due to something that risked
> me out of a homebirth, but not into something requiring an OB.
> In hindsight, I might have asked him about versions--whether
> he did them, what his success rate was, etc. As it turned out,
> when I needed an OB for the version, I ended up going to someone
> entirely different in order to get someone who was supposed to be
> very, very good at them. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't
> have picked that OB as my backup anyway because he wasn't at a
> hospital that I would have chosen to be at. But if you're
> interviewing, it might be an interesting question to ask.

That is a good question. Your post reminded me that two out of the six
women in my Bradley class ended up with C-sections due to non-vertex
presentations (one breech, one transverse), and IIRC they had originally
planned to go to this same birth center. It would be good to know, to
what lengths this OB would be willing to go, to avoid my having to
transfer, and this seems to be a good indicator.

(I'm not actually interviewing various OBs -- this one is part of the
same practice as my midwife, similar to the practice you might have
transferred to had you risked out of homebirth. They have everyone
who's under midwife care see the OB once, just so you've met before
labor.)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

Laurie > wrote in message
t...
> I just wanted to say that I don't really know what I'd ask, since
> I found myself at almost all of my appointments with no questions
> and my OB asking "do you have anything you want to talk about
> today?" and me saying "no, not really". LOL. My point being,
> maybe you're just all set in that department.
>
> Helpful, huh? ;)

Moi? Overthink something?? ;-)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

Sandi > wrote in message
...
> Maybe you could ask about how she feels about episiotomies
> or forceps deliveries (does she routinely do either of these
> things?), so you can let her know what you would like her to
> try if she could?

Good ideas, Sandi. Thanks! I've realized from reading these replies
that I'd been assuming, since they practice together with midwives, that
the OBs would have similar practices and beliefs to the midwifery model
of care. But it's never a good idea to assume! I will have lots of
questions to ask now, so hopefully I won't walk out of the office and
immediately think, "Aaagh, I wish I'd asked.....", as too often happens!
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

[Cheryl S.]

==Daye== > wrote in message
...
> What is the OB's c-section rate?
> What is the OB's feeling on pain relief?

Added to my list.... Will be interesting to see if I get a "real"
answer on the c-section rate.

> That is all I can think of. This is hard.

Thanks, Daye! It helped me to get a few things down on my list, to get
past the "writer's block" stage.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.