I'm 18, Pregnant and Very Confused

[Courts]

Needing a little advice, I turned 18 5 weeks ago, I am living in a
granny flat out the back of my parents with my partner, He is 24. This
arrangment is only temporary while we get our finances
together.......... We both work full time, I am a dental nurse, he is
an electrical tech in the army. We have been dating for about 6 months,
before that we were best friends for quite some time.

Anyway I took a pregnancy test and it was to my dis-belief positive, i
was told by my doctor that i may never have children due to some
medical issues, anyway, i have been pregnant once before without
knowing at the time and i miscarried.

I have been to the doctor and spoken of termination......... I have no
thought about it as i never planned this and dont have any strong
views....

I am very much in love with my partner, we have discussed it and he is
supportive either way.....

My mum at first was hoping i would go through with the termintation but
now she thinks that i should have it..... for varipous reasons, more so
medically.

The only view i have is that i am scared of telling my father who is
away until monday....... He is usually understanding, but he is also
good at not saying anything which upsets me more. An i dont know how my
partners perents will react.

And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
and pregnant........

[Cuddlefish]

"Courts" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
> and pregnant........

As far as I am concerned, the major decision whether to terminate is whether
*you* want to be a parent. This is more than simply being pregnant or having
a baby. This is a life long, life altering situation. This is what you need
to think about first and foremost. Your mother/father/society's opinion
should carry the least amount of weight. Do *you* want a baby? Do you want a
child now? Do you want to be a parent? Is this a decision that is compatible
with where you are in life and how you see yourself in a number of years?
Pregnancy and childrearing is hard work and not to be taken lightly.

And for the number of women I know who chose to enter motherhood early,
there is at least an equal number who chose to terminate a pregnancy at
similar ages. In my experience, none of these women regretted their
decisions when they looked into their own hearts and decided what was best
*for them*.
--
Jacqueline
#1 Due late Jul/early Aug

[April & Baby]

Hi Courts

At the end of the day it is totally down to you what you chose to do and it
MUST be your choice otherwise there are going to be big regrets in your
life. I choice to have a termination for various reasons a few years back
this was against my religion believes and also a very hard decision to make
anyway but at the time it was a decision I had to make....However I still
think about that baby on a regular basis more so on the date that it would
have been due and I see my friends baby who is the same age as the one I
terminated and think my baby would be that age now and doing those things
blar blar blar so a termination really isnt an easy option either. In a way
I regret that I did what I did but I also know that it was the right thing
to do at the time so I wish you all the best in whatever you decide

[[email protected]]

You and your boyfriend will need to make a few choices:

1. Are the two of you willing to commit to one another till death. If
so, then you should get married and continue to step 2. If not, then
either have an abortion or give the child up for adoption.
2. Are the both of you willing to be parents? If so, continue to step
3. If not, then either have an abortion or give the child up for
adoption.
3. have a child and live a long and happy life.

The only thing left is your parents. The only reason why they even
matter is because you two have chosen to live on their property.

Good Luck.

Regards...

Courts wrote:
> Needing a little advice, I turned 18 5 weeks ago, I am living in a
> granny flat out the back of my parents with my partner, He is 24. This
> arrangment is only temporary while we get our finances
> together.......... We both work full time, I am a dental nurse, he is
> an electrical tech in the army. We have been dating for about 6 months,
> before that we were best friends for quite some time.
>
> Anyway I took a pregnancy test and it was to my dis-belief positive, i
> was told by my doctor that i may never have children due to some
> medical issues, anyway, i have been pregnant once before without
> knowing at the time and i miscarried.
>
> I have been to the doctor and spoken of termination......... I have no
> thought about it as i never planned this and dont have any strong
> views....
>
> I am very much in love with my partner, we have discussed it and he is
> supportive either way.....
>
> My mum at first was hoping i would go through with the termintation but
> now she thinks that i should have it..... for varipous reasons, more so
> medically.
>
> The only view i have is that i am scared of telling my father who is
> away until monday....... He is usually understanding, but he is also
> good at not saying anything which upsets me more. An i dont know how my
> partners perents will react.
>
> And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
> and pregnant........

[DamnOkie]

I had my first two children before I even turned 18.
They are 12 and 10 now...
There will always be people who disapprove of your decisions whether you are
18 or a 108.
Screw them... They are not you and have no right to make choices for you.
If you are a real person and would like help or advice on how to keep your
baby, then by all means feel free to ask on this newsgroup.

We are not all meanies and we don't bite that often ;)

DamnOkie

----- Original Message -----
From: "Courts" >
Newsgroups: misc.kids.pregnancy
Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2005 3:20 AM
Subject: I'm 18, Pregnant and Very Confused


> Needing a little advice, I turned 18 5 weeks ago, I am living in a
> granny flat out the back of my parents with my partner, He is 24. This
> arrangment is only temporary while we get our finances
> together.......... We both work full time, I am a dental nurse, he is
> an electrical tech in the army. We have been dating for about 6 months,
> before that we were best friends for quite some time.
>
> Anyway I took a pregnancy test and it was to my dis-belief positive, i
> was told by my doctor that i may never have children due to some
> medical issues, anyway, i have been pregnant once before without
> knowing at the time and i miscarried.
>
> I have been to the doctor and spoken of termination......... I have no
> thought about it as i never planned this and dont have any strong
> views....
>
> I am very much in love with my partner, we have discussed it and he is
> supportive either way.....
>
> My mum at first was hoping i would go through with the termintation but
> now she thinks that i should have it..... for varipous reasons, more so
> medically.
>
> The only view i have is that i am scared of telling my father who is
> away until monday....... He is usually understanding, but he is also
> good at not saying anything which upsets me more. An i dont know how my
> partners perents will react.
>
> And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
> and pregnant........
>
"Courts" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Needing a little advice, I turned 18 5 weeks ago, I am living in a
> granny flat out the back of my parents with my partner, He is 24. This
> arrangment is only temporary while we get our finances
> together.......... We both work full time, I am a dental nurse, he is
> an electrical tech in the army. We have been dating for about 6 months,
> before that we were best friends for quite some time.
>
> Anyway I took a pregnancy test and it was to my dis-belief positive, i
> was told by my doctor that i may never have children due to some
> medical issues, anyway, i have been pregnant once before without
> knowing at the time and i miscarried.
>
> I have been to the doctor and spoken of termination......... I have no
> thought about it as i never planned this and dont have any strong
> views....
>
> I am very much in love with my partner, we have discussed it and he is
> supportive either way.....
>
> My mum at first was hoping i would go through with the termintation but
> now she thinks that i should have it..... for varipous reasons, more so
> medically.
>
> The only view i have is that i am scared of telling my father who is
> away until monday....... He is usually understanding, but he is also
> good at not saying anything which upsets me more. An i dont know how my
> partners perents will react.
>
> And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
> and pregnant........
>

[KC]

You are 18 not 13. You're living with a man, and you both have jobs.
What am I missing that is making you think the world would be so
shocked that you are pregnant? It sounds like you and your boyfriend
have decent jobs, and have a place to live while you get back on your
feet financially, and perhaps you could stay there until awhile after
the birth to lessen that hardship. I am not seeing a reason why you
would want to terminate from what you've said. It sounds like you've
got supportive parents and a supportive boyfriend whom you have known a
long time.

One thing you might want to consider since doctors have said you might
have a hard time conceiving is that if you terminate this baby, you may
not be able to have another one.

KC

Courts wrote:
> Needing a little advice, I turned 18 5 weeks ago, I am living in a
> granny flat out the back of my parents with my partner, He is 24. This
> arrangment is only temporary while we get our finances
> together.......... We both work full time, I am a dental nurse, he is
> an electrical tech in the army. We have been dating for about 6 months,
> before that we were best friends for quite some time.
>
> Anyway I took a pregnancy test and it was to my dis-belief positive, i
> was told by my doctor that i may never have children due to some
> medical issues, anyway, i have been pregnant once before without
> knowing at the time and i miscarried.
>
> I have been to the doctor and spoken of termination......... I have no
> thought about it as i never planned this and dont have any strong
> views....
>
> I am very much in love with my partner, we have discussed it and he is
> supportive either way.....
>
> My mum at first was hoping i would go through with the termintation but
> now she thinks that i should have it..... for varipous reasons, more so
> medically.
>
> The only view i have is that i am scared of telling my father who is
> away until monday....... He is usually understanding, but he is also
> good at not saying anything which upsets me more. An i dont know how my
> partners perents will react.
>
> And i am worried about how i will be perceived in society!!!!!!!!! 18
> and pregnant........

[Leslie]

It's natural to be concerned about what others may think of you but in
the end it's what you think of you that matters. You may well regret
an abortion some day, especially if you never conceive again due to
medical reasons. It's harder to imagine that you would regret having
your baby, especially since you have a job, a loving partner, and a
supportive family. Good luck and please hang around with us for good
pregnancy advice!

Leslie