maternity leave: how much before birth? [Archive]

July 22nd 05, 06:04 PM

I have to meet with our "benefits specialist" soon to discuss my maternity
leave and short-term disability options. I'm due the day after
Thanksgiving, but this is a first birth, so figure Dec 2 or so. I will
probably have to take all of my accumulated paid time off before I can
collect short-term disability. I believe we get 6wks of disability after a
normal vaginal birth. Right now I have 4+ weeks of paid leave to use up
before I can collect the disability. It seems pointless to wait until the
last possible moment to go out on leave, use 4 wks of paid leave and collect
only 2wks of disability, so I'm thinking about using the 4 wks of leave
prior to birth.
I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start taking
vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before birth, or take
the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a social worker doing home
visits, so while it's not a physically demanding job, I do have to drive a
lot and go to homes that can be difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+
wks pregnant. But, I don't want to be going stir crazy with 4 wks off
straight of just waiting and feeling fine.
Anyone got a crystal ball to tell me how uncomfortable I'll be in those last
few weeks? :)
Amy
EDD 11/25/05

BTW, my company doesn't consider the FMLA 12 wks to start until all paid
leave and short-term disability is exhausted, so I could take 4 wks vacation
pre-birth, 6 wks disability post-birth, and 12 wks unpaid FMLA after that.
I only plan to take 12 wks off after birth anyway.

Sue

July 22nd 05, 06:42 PM

I worked up to the day I delivered with my first. I had planned to take a
couple days off before my due date, but DD1 had other plans. I wouldn't want
to have the full four weeks off before the birth, because I would have
gotten extremely bored and would have really watched the clock. I would
rather accumulate them and tack them on my maternity leave if that is an
option for you. Perhaps take a week off and then leave the remaining three
after delivery.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"V." > wrote in message
...
> I have to meet with our "benefits specialist" soon to discuss my maternity
> leave and short-term disability options. I'm due the day after
> Thanksgiving, but this is a first birth, so figure Dec 2 or so. I will
> probably have to take all of my accumulated paid time off before I can
> collect short-term disability. I believe we get 6wks of disability after
a
> normal vaginal birth. Right now I have 4+ weeks of paid leave to use up
> before I can collect the disability. It seems pointless to wait until the
> last possible moment to go out on leave, use 4 wks of paid leave and
collect
> only 2wks of disability, so I'm thinking about using the 4 wks of leave
> prior to birth.
> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start taking
> vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before birth, or
take
> the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a social worker doing home
> visits, so while it's not a physically demanding job, I do have to drive a
> lot and go to homes that can be difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+
> wks pregnant. But, I don't want to be going stir crazy with 4 wks off
> straight of just waiting and feeling fine.
> Anyone got a crystal ball to tell me how uncomfortable I'll be in those
last
> few weeks? :)
> Amy
> EDD 11/25/05
>
> BTW, my company doesn't consider the FMLA 12 wks to start until all paid
> leave and short-term disability is exhausted, so I could take 4 wks
vacation
> pre-birth, 6 wks disability post-birth, and 12 wks unpaid FMLA after that.
> I only plan to take 12 wks off after birth anyway.
>
>

don_tspamme

July 22nd 05, 07:06 PM

I was laid off two months before my due date because things were so
slow at my work- they did hire me back when I was ready to come back
though, as work had also picked up.

I really found I was quite tired the last month of my pregnancy, and
napped every day, so it wasn't a bad thing to have the time off. I
would have been fine (although tired) had I worked up to my due date,
but I enjoyed having the last month free to get ready for the baby etc.

If I get pregnant again, I think I would go on disability my last month
of pregnancy.

If you enjoy working and you do not have any complications to your
pregnancy, by all means work until your due date, but expect that you
may be tired if you work full time. In a perfect world, I would have
worked part time up to my due date.

Nikki

July 22nd 05, 07:11 PM

V. wrote:

> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start
> taking vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before
> birth, or take the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a
> social worker doing home visits, so while it's not a physically
> demanding job, I do have to drive a lot and go to homes that can be
> difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+ wks pregnant.

I have a similar job and I worked up until my due date. If I had your
options I might take the last week or two off. Those last days were odd
because I didn't really want to start things I didn't think I could finish
and yet I tried to finish things a couple weeks early because I didn't want
to leave things hanging. I was seriously antsy. Of course, I'm sure I
would have been seriously antsy anyway :-)

> BTW, my company doesn't consider the FMLA 12 wks to start until all
> paid leave and short-term disability is exhausted, so I could take 4
> wks vacation pre-birth, 6 wks disability post-birth, and 12 wks
> unpaid FMLA after that. I only plan to take 12 wks off after birth
> anyway.

Wow, that is great. We get 12 weeks, paid or unpaid - work a few hours here
and there, doesn't matter. 12 weeks from the time you leave you need to be
back full time. That is why I worked up to the last minute :-) I went over
with #2 and those last few days were sort of pointless.

--
Nikki

[email protected]

July 22nd 05, 07:40 PM

I worked PAST my official due date all three times. I was having
healthy pregnancies, and I have an office job. I figured I might as
well be at work, rather than at home making myself crazy about every
twinge - which turned out to be a good plan, given that I went to 42
weeks every time.

I wanted to save every nanosecond for after baby came for time with
baby and physical recovery from childbirth, new parenthood etc.

Unless I had been sick, I can't see the purpose in hanging around the
house in late pregnancy. Might as well be earning money and mentally
occupied, and save the time off for post partum.

Mary G.
Toronto

Amy

July 22nd 05, 07:52 PM

V. wrote:
> I have to meet with our "benefits specialist" soon to discuss my maternity
> leave and short-term disability options.

I've been very, very fortunate that my boss is the one that knocked me
up (he also happens to be my husband - <G>), so when I'm tired, I can
say, "I'm tired, I'm going home for a nap," and I go home for a nap.
None of this bs'ing around with vacations days and crap. If he gives
me grief, I either cry or say, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" and he says, "Ok,
bye." He has even said, "You look tired, why don't you go home and
rest?" a time or two, which is lovely. He's a prince... Yesterday I
got hit by the sleepy truck at lunch time, and I went home for the rest
of the day - I took a four hour nap. It was bliss.

Anyway, my point is that you are going to be tired, and you are going
to be uncomfortable throughout the pregnancy at various completely
random times (usually before a big meeting, or during a big rush to
finish a major project...). Whatever you decide to do about your
leave, make sure to save some days for "I feel like snot and I'm
staying home."

Also, make sure you factor in the roughly 7,942 appointments that
you'll be having with your doctor between now and the birth. They're
probably going to want you to use some of your PTO for that.

You can't be the first person who has ever gone on M leave for that
company - Shirley they have some sort of idea of how much time you
should bank, and how much you'll need for appointments and whatnot...

Amy

medgirl

July 22nd 05, 07:56 PM

"V." > wrote in message
...
>I have to meet with our "benefits specialist" soon to discuss my maternity
>leave and short-term disability options. I'm due the day after
>Thanksgiving, but this is a first birth, so figure Dec 2 or so. I will
>probably have to take all of my accumulated paid time off before I can
>collect short-term disability. I believe we get 6wks of disability after a
>normal vaginal birth. Right now I have 4+ weeks of paid leave to use up
>before I can collect the disability. It seems pointless to wait until the
>last possible moment to go out on leave, use 4 wks of paid leave and
>collect only 2wks of disability, so I'm thinking about using the 4 wks of
>leave prior to birth.
> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start taking
> vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before birth, or
> take the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a social worker doing
> home visits, so while it's not a physically demanding job, I do have to
> drive a lot and go to homes that can be difficult to maneuver around in,
> esp. 36+ wks pregnant. But, I don't want to be going stir crazy with 4
> wks off straight of just waiting and feeling fine.
> Anyone got a crystal ball to tell me how uncomfortable I'll be in those
> last few weeks? :)
> Amy
> EDD 11/25/05
>
> BTW, my company doesn't consider the FMLA 12 wks to start until all paid
> leave and short-term disability is exhausted, so I could take 4 wks
> vacation pre-birth, 6 wks disability post-birth, and 12 wks unpaid FMLA
> after that. I only plan to take 12 wks off after birth anyway.

That's great that you can get the FML in addition to paid leave and
disability. Is it possible for you to take some of that vacation time after
the birth, then the disability time? Then you could have up to 10 wks paid
after the birth, which is close to the 12 you want to take.

Personally, I worked up to the day of my daughter's birth, which was 10 days
before my due date. I was starting to feel really exhausted about that
time, and I planned to stop working at 39 weeks if she hadn't been born yet.
On the other hand, I would really have loved to have had more time after the
birth to be home. I went back to work when she was 9 weeks old because of
work responsibilities, but I regretted going back so soon. If there's any
way you could work it out, it would make sense to work until you don't feel
up to it anymore and then use the rest of the time afterwards. It's hard to
know this early how you will feel - you might really need the time
beforehand, or you might feel great and rather have it later. If the paid
leave v. unpaid leave doesn't make that much difference to you, then it
doesn't matter as much, since it sounds like your company will give you the
12wks of FML +disability leave.

Sarah
DD Katherine 3/1/05

July 22nd 05, 07:59 PM

"Sue" > wrote in message
...
>I worked up to the day I delivered with my first. I had planned to take a
> couple days off before my due date, but DD1 had other plans. I wouldn't
> want
> to have the full four weeks off before the birth, because I would have
> gotten extremely bored and would have really watched the clock. I would
> rather accumulate them and tack them on my maternity leave if that is an
> option for you. Perhaps take a week off and then leave the remaining three
> after delivery.
> --
> Sue (mom to three girls)
>

Unfortunately, right now the requirement is that you have to exhaust paid
leave before you can collect disability. However, there is a plan to change
that so I could save some for when I come back, but it may not be approved
until AFTER I go out on leave. :( That would be the best plan though.
Amy

July 22nd 05, 08:03 PM

"> You can't be the first person who has ever gone on M leave for that
> company - Shirley they have some sort of idea of how much time you
> should bank, and how much you'll need for appointments and whatnot...
>
> Amy
>

Here's the funny thing, apparently NONE of the women who've gone out on
maternity leave in recent years have returned to work. They all say they
will and then don't. That's given the administrators a bit of an attitude
about women taking maternity leave at all, and the woman I have to meet with
has reportedly advocated that the company not hire women of childbearing
age. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to talking with her, but have
to in order to start the process. Currently you can't bank paid leave, you
have to use it all before collecting disability. That may change very soon,
but possibly not before I go out.
The good thing is that I have a very flexible schedule, where no one really
knows where I am at any given moment anyway, so I don't usually take leave
time for Dr appts, just sneak them in. :)

Amy

Mary W.

July 22nd 05, 08:21 PM

Nikki wrote:

> V. wrote:
>
>
>>I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start
>>taking vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before
>>birth, or take the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a
>>social worker doing home visits, so while it's not a physically
>>demanding job, I do have to drive a lot and go to homes that can be
>>difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+ wks pregnant.
>
>
> I have a similar job and I worked up until my due date. If I had your
> options I might take the last week or two off. Those last days were odd
> because I didn't really want to start things I didn't think I could finish
> and yet I tried to finish things a couple weeks early because I didn't want
> to leave things hanging. I was seriously antsy. Of course, I'm sure I
> would have been seriously antsy anyway :-)

With her scenerio, where time off before baby doesn't cut into
time off after baby, I'd probably take 1-2 days off before
my due date. Plus I'd cut back to 4 days a week prior to that.
I found that while I had very healthy and relatively easy
pregnancies, having, say Wednesday off, would have made the
rest of the week easier.

Mary W.

Mary W.

July 22nd 05, 08:23 PM

Mary W. wrote:

> Nikki wrote:
>
>> V. wrote:
>>
>>
>>> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start
>>> taking vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before
>>> birth, or take the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a
>>> social worker doing home visits, so while it's not a physically
>>> demanding job, I do have to drive a lot and go to homes that can be
>>> difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+ wks pregnant.
>>
>>
>>
>> I have a similar job and I worked up until my due date. If I had your
>> options I might take the last week or two off. Those last days were
>> odd because I didn't really want to start things I didn't think I
>> could finish and yet I tried to finish things a couple weeks early
>> because I didn't want to leave things hanging. I was seriously
>> antsy. Of course, I'm sure I would have been seriously antsy anyway :-)
>
>
> With her scenerio, where time off before baby doesn't cut into
> time off after baby, I'd probably take 1-2 days off before

Ahem ^^^^^^^1-2 *weeks*

> my due date. Plus I'd cut back to 4 days a week prior to that.
> I found that while I had very healthy and relatively easy
> pregnancies, having, say Wednesday off, would have made the
> rest of the week easier.
>
> Mary W.

Mary W. again

Amy

July 22nd 05, 09:10 PM

V. wrote:
> "> You can't be the first person who has ever gone on M leave for that
> > company - Shirley they have some sort of idea of how much time you
> > should bank, and how much you'll need for appointments and whatnot...
>
> Here's the funny thing, apparently NONE of the women who've gone out on
> maternity leave in recent years have returned to work.

Wow.

> They all say they
> will and then don't. That's given the administrators a bit of an attitude
> about women taking maternity leave at all, and the woman I have to meet with
> has reportedly advocated that the company not hire women of childbearing
> age.

Is this person in HR? If she is, she should know that it's dangerous
(from a getting-sued standpoint) to even JOKE about that! Wow.

> Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to talking with her, but have
> to in order to start the process. Currently you can't bank paid leave, you
> have to use it all before collecting disability. That may change very soon,
> but possibly not before I go out.

Well, save at least a week for those "I feel like snot" days. I've had
more than a few. I'm 36 weeks now, and it's getting harder and harder
with every day. My feet are HUGE. I'd much rather be at home in bed
than here. Unfortunately, I'm not in a situation where anyone can
cover for me, so I have to soldier through until the baby comes, and I
don't think I'll even get much of a break then! But, like I said, my
boss/husband has been really good about helping me stay healthy and
sane.

> The good thing is that I have a very flexible schedule, where no one really
> knows where I am at any given moment anyway, so I don't usually take leave
> time for Dr appts, just sneak them in. :)

I won't tell!

Good luck!
Amy

Elle

July 22nd 05, 10:30 PM

V. wrote:

> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start taking
> vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before birth, or take
> the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a social worker doing home
> visits, so while it's not a physically demanding job, I do have to drive a
> lot and go to homes that can be difficult to maneuver around in, esp. 36+
> wks pregnant. But, I don't want to be going stir crazy with 4 wks off
> straight of just waiting and feeling fine.
> Anyone got a crystal ball to tell me how uncomfortable I'll be in those last
> few weeks? :)

Well I like a summer vacation, pregnant or no, so it might be nice to
have a few days -- especially if your husband is off too -- to enjoy as
a last "just the two of us" hurrah.

To answer your question, personally I wasn't uncomfortable at all by
the end of my pregnancy and could have easily worked right up to my
baby's birthday (my office job was not physically demanding, and I also
had the flexibility to leave for appointments etc.) I was surpised
because it was February in Canada and I figured I'd be tired of
negotiating the snow and ice. Anyway I think my last day at work was a
few days before my due date, and I had the baby a week past the due
date so that worked out ok. I found it a bit boring to be at home, and
would have gone even stir-crazier with a whole month off and wintery
weather keeping me at home.

The thing I did though was to have everything at work in really good
shape and organized so if I did unexpectedly need to go early there
would be as few loose ends as possible and my replacement could easily
take over. That made my boss and colleagues more comfortable too.

If you have days to take that you would otherwise lose maybe consider
working shorter work weeks in the months leading up to your due date,
if you have that flexibility. A 3 or 4 day work week would be great to
recharge your batteries and the novelty of being off work won't wear
off.

Elle

July 22nd 05, 10:47 PM

With my first dd I was signed out at 34 weeks because I had high bp,
and I was very glad I was signed out. I found working very difficult
at the end of pg. It was an office job, but I found having to get up
and commute and work 40 hours to be too demanding right then.

Then I had to go back to work at 9 weeks after the birth because I had
exausted all disability and vacation time. Going back then was
horrible. I would say don't go back until you absolutely have to. It
is so heart-wrenching to have to be apart from the baby.

KC

Emily

July 23rd 05, 04:26 PM

FWIW, the doula that we had with DS (who was *wonderful*)
actually charges more for women who plan work up until their
due dates. Her belief is that by keeping busy until the
last minute, we can cause ourselves to "hold off" until
we've finished up xyz (not aboslutely, of course, but in
some statistically measurable way). Furthermore, the later
the baby comes, the less his/her head will mould, and therefore
the more difficult the birth is. The more difficult
the birth, the longer it is, and she charges by the birth,
not by the hour.

I got laid off a couple of months before DS was born, and
(like the other poster) actually really enjoyed the more
relaxed pace after that. (Fortunately for us it wasn't a
big financial hardship: I was a consultant with the company
anyway, so wasn't going to get any paid maternity leave,
my insurance was through DH's work, I found something suitable
fairly quickly after DS was born, etc.)

This time around, I'm *very* grateful that I'm not teaching
during my third trimester. I still have plenty to do, but
fewer places to be, and can work from home. (I'm an academic,
on a 9-month contract. The deal is we're not paid, unless
we pull in grants or sign up for summer teaching, June-Sept.
We get *no* official PTO during the school year, but basically
get to do what we wish with our summers. OTOH, we're supposed
to use them for research...)

I'm also quite lucky in that I'm basically going to get
4 months of paid leave. My official leave starts when the baby
is born, and I only get "paid leave" for the weeks that I
ordinarily would get paid (so I don't get paid 9/1-9/15 just
because I had a baby). But, they have to hire someone to
teach in my place for the whole quarter, so even though I might
be officially "back at work" as of 12/1, my responsibilities
will be minimal. I'm also very lucky in that the chair of
my dept is one of the few women in academia I've ever heard
of to have *3* children (one of whom, it turns out, was a hs
classmate of mine...). OTOH, I'm only the 2nd woman ever to
take a maternity leave in the history of my department. I'm
thankful to my colleague who was the first!

Emily
--
DS 5/02
EDD Labor Day 9/5/05

Sue

July 23rd 05, 04:32 PM

"Emily" > wrote in message
...
> FWIW, the doula that we had with DS (who was *wonderful*)
> actually charges more for women who plan work up until their
> due dates. Her belief is that by keeping busy until the
> last minute, we can cause ourselves to "hold off" until
> we've finished up xyz (not aboslutely, of course, but in
> some statistically measurable way).

I don't believe that for one minute and it was definitely not true for me. I
worked up to the day I delivered DD1 and she was two weeks early. With DD2,
I was at home as I had quit my job and she was five days late. Again, I was
an at-home mom with #3 and she was a day early. I wouldn't want that
particular doula at all. (of course, I don't like doulas for me anyway).
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

oregonchick

July 23rd 05, 09:08 PM

"V." > wrote in message
...
>I have to meet with our "benefits specialist" soon to discuss my maternity
>leave and short-term disability options. I'm due the day after
>Thanksgiving, but this is a first birth, so figure Dec 2 or so. I will
>probably have to take all of my accumulated paid time off before I can
>collect short-term disability. I believe we get 6wks of disability after a
>normal vaginal birth. Right now I have 4+ weeks of paid leave to use up
>before I can collect the disability. It seems pointless to wait until the
>last possible moment to go out on leave, use 4 wks of paid leave and
>collect only 2wks of disability, so I'm thinking about using the 4 wks of
>leave prior to birth.
> I'd like advice and insight on whether it would be better to start taking
> vacations this summer and only take off a week or two before birth, or
> take the entire last 4 weeks before birth off. I am a social worker doing
> home visits, so while it's not a physically demanding job, I do have to
> drive a lot and go to homes that can be difficult to maneuver around in,
> esp. 36+ wks pregnant. But, I don't want to be going stir crazy with 4
> wks off straight of just waiting and feeling fine.
> Anyone got a crystal ball to tell me how uncomfortable I'll be in those
> last few weeks? :)
> Amy
> EDD 11/25/05
>
> BTW, my company doesn't consider the FMLA 12 wks to start until all paid
> leave and short-term disability is exhausted, so I could take 4 wks
> vacation pre-birth, 6 wks disability post-birth, and 12 wks unpaid FMLA
> after that. I only plan to take 12 wks off after birth anyway.

Well, how much work do you want to or can afford to miss? My company would
literally flounder without me. My position is somewhat specialized and
industry specific, so it is tough to find a replacement.

Secondly, it depends on how you are feeling I think. I am due the first
week of December, and so far feel super. I'm working about 6 hours a day,
which is very comfortable. I don't have any need to take off time before
the birth, unless I start to feel poorly or extra tired. I worked up until
about a week before I delivered last time and did ok.

Is it an option to work part time for the period of time before you're due?
That might be a good option.
>
>

Caledonia

July 24th 05, 02:33 AM

Emily wrote:
> FWIW, the doula that we had with DS (who was *wonderful*)
> actually charges more for women who plan work up until their
> due dates. Her belief is that by keeping busy until the
> last minute, we can cause ourselves to "hold off" until
> we've finished up xyz (not aboslutely, of course, but in
> some statistically measurable way).

This just strikes me as odd -- I mean, if by *relaxing* we can 'not
hold off' or *accelerate* the birth, then what's the point of mandatory
bed rest? [Okay, true confession, I worked up until DD1 was born (the
Friday before; she was born on Saturday, 1 week early).] My cynical
take is that women who work up until their due date may have fewer
financial resources/benefit packages (I know I did, as I had changed
companies right before I became pregnant) than women who have more
flexibility in this regard. I'm not aware of either case (benefit
package versus 'holding off subsconsciously on birth due to errands')
being validated in a statistically measurable way.

> Furthermore, the later
> the baby comes, the less his/her head will mould, and therefore
> the more difficult the birth is.

I had always believed -- perhaps erroneously -- that infants heads were
still 'moulding' even up to one year post-partum, and that an infant's
gestation (or 38w versus 40w versus 42w) didn't influence whether the
head had moulded. Then again, I'm often wrong:)

> The more difficult
> the birth, the longer it is, and she charges by the birth,
> not by the hour.

Sounds reasonable, but does that mean if someone naturally cooks a baby
for 41w they'd be paying more than someone who only needs to cook a
baby for 38w? This just strikes me as bad science, or gouging the folks
who might be compelled to work up until delivery.

Caledonia