BF to sleep

[Doug]

Hi there,

I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22 and
live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.

I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all recommend
that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future. I've been
trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we try
and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks until
she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few guarantees
we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and wait
for her to sleep? Any other ideas?

There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to swaddle
a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does anyone
else have any experience in this?

Thanks in advance

Amber
Mum to Tessa - 1 month

[Sue]

> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
and
> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on
>Monday.

> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
recommend > that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future.
I've been
> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we try
> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks
until
> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few
>guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave
>her and wait for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
>swaddle a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got
>this information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does
>anyone else have any experience in this?
>
> Thanks in advance

Hi Amber,

Congratulations on your new baby and welcome to the board.

Since your baby is only one month old, you will not be setting yourself up
for problems later if you let her fall asleep at the breast. For most
babies, BF does knock them out. Once the baby is older and you can see a
pattern in her feeding/sleeping habits, you can gradually stop breastfeeding
to sleep if you like. It might be a problem, but keep in mind that in mind
and once baby is older, you can gradually start putting baby down awake, but
drowsy. But at only a month old, the baby still needs the security and
warmth from you. As far as swaddling, there is definitely not a problem with
swaddling after a month. Babies like the security it provides and it stops
them from jerking themselves awake.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Sidheag McCormack]

Amber writes:

> Hi there, I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm
> Amber, I'm 22 and live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was
> a month old on Monday.

Congratulations!

> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
> recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
> future. I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly
> asleep and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes
> her cry. If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so
> I'll feed her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute
> and comfort sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is
> the one of the few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to
> easily? Should I leave her and wait for her to sleep? Any other ideas?

I'd suggest going with what works, to be honest. I did the "take him off
just before he's really asleep" thing, but I'm not convinced it made much
difference. DS did learn to come off the breast when he was almost asleep,
but breastfeeding was still part of the going to sleep process, and I
wouldn't have had it any other way, so although I suppose I may have saved
a few minutes each bedtime, I feel a bit "so what?" about it! I suppose
when I started it I imagined there would be a progressive aspect, so that
he would learn to go to sleep by himself from more and more awake. That
didn't happen: he always had (has!) to be very nearly asleep before he
comes off, or he'll wake fully and cry. If I had another child, I'd
probably just go with letting him/her feed to sleep.

It's a question of what the real issue is. The way I look at it is: if I'm
around, why *wouldn't* I be prepared to breastfeed him as he goes to sleep?
If I'm not around, then yes, he needs to have another way, but my altering
what *I* do when I put him to sleep isn't what's necessary there: what's
necessary there is for whoever can't breastfeed him to sleep to establish
their own routine. And in fact, DS learned to nap at nursery, where they
just lie them down on their mats, just fine, even though he wouldn't nap
like that with me around. DH putting him to bed is unusual enough that it
tends to be a little upsetting, but it does work, and if we felt the need
to do that regularly I'm sure they'd quickly adjust. (My SIL has a baby a
bit younger, and goes out one evening a week; my brother had a rough time
for a few weeks as he and the baby sorted out a routine that didn't involve
SIL or bf, but it works fine for them now.)

Sleep training, involving leaving the baby to cry for a few minutes before
going back to them, is not recommended for babies under 6 months anyway, so
even if you do eventually want to go that way, it's too soon yet.

> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
> swaddle a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has
> got this information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons
> why? Does anyone else have any experience in this?

No, pretty sure this is not true - or at least, maybe you're not supposed
to have them swaddled all day as was once done, but I'm pretty sure
swaddling them at night is OK as long as they want it - but ours always
hated being swaddled, so I didn't look into it much. Hope someone else can
help you.

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003

[Doug]

Thanks (and to Sue who also replied). You've put my mind at rest. To be
honest I enjoy feeding her to sleep and was never comfortable with trying to
put her down when she isn't ready. I figured that she would eventually grow
out of it anyway and I can't see that me feeding her to sleep is ever going
to be too much of a problem.
With regards to the swaddling, we can't remember where we read that you
shouldn't after the first month. But it stuck in our minds and has made us
paranoid. My partner has come up with the idea of swaddling her in a sheet
rather than the blanket we used before as it has the same calming effect and
will make us less worried about over-heating. Since I stopped swaddling I've
had to pack her sheet tightly round her in order to get to sleep anyway.

Thanks again!!

Amber

"Sidheag McCormack" > wrote in message
...
> Amber writes:
>
> > Hi there, I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm
> > Amber, I'm 22 and live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was
> > a month old on Monday.
>
> Congratulations!
>
> > I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> > techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
> > recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
> > future. I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly
> > asleep and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes
> > her cry. If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so
> > I'll feed her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute
> > and comfort sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is
> > the one of the few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to
> > easily? Should I leave her and wait for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> I'd suggest going with what works, to be honest. I did the "take him off
> just before he's really asleep" thing, but I'm not convinced it made much
> difference. DS did learn to come off the breast when he was almost asleep,
> but breastfeeding was still part of the going to sleep process, and I
> wouldn't have had it any other way, so although I suppose I may have saved
> a few minutes each bedtime, I feel a bit "so what?" about it! I suppose
> when I started it I imagined there would be a progressive aspect, so that
> he would learn to go to sleep by himself from more and more awake. That
> didn't happen: he always had (has!) to be very nearly asleep before he
> comes off, or he'll wake fully and cry. If I had another child, I'd
> probably just go with letting him/her feed to sleep.
>
> It's a question of what the real issue is. The way I look at it is: if I'm
> around, why *wouldn't* I be prepared to breastfeed him as he goes to
> sleep?
> If I'm not around, then yes, he needs to have another way, but my altering
> what *I* do when I put him to sleep isn't what's necessary there: what's
> necessary there is for whoever can't breastfeed him to sleep to establish
> their own routine. And in fact, DS learned to nap at nursery, where they
> just lie them down on their mats, just fine, even though he wouldn't nap
> like that with me around. DH putting him to bed is unusual enough that it
> tends to be a little upsetting, but it does work, and if we felt the need
> to do that regularly I'm sure they'd quickly adjust. (My SIL has a baby a
> bit younger, and goes out one evening a week; my brother had a rough time
> for a few weeks as he and the baby sorted out a routine that didn't
> involve
> SIL or bf, but it works fine for them now.)
>
> Sleep training, involving leaving the baby to cry for a few minutes before
> going back to them, is not recommended for babies under 6 months anyway,
> so
> even if you do eventually want to go that way, it's too soon yet.
>
> > There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> > swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
> > swaddle a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has
> > got this information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons
> > why? Does anyone else have any experience in this?
>
> No, pretty sure this is not true - or at least, maybe you're not supposed
> to have them swaddled all day as was once done, but I'm pretty sure
> swaddling them at night is OK as long as they want it - but ours always
> hated being swaddled, so I didn't look into it much. Hope someone else can
> help you.
>
> Sidheag
> DS Colin Oct 27 2003
>
>
>

[Stephanie]

"Doug" > wrote in message
...
> Hi there,
>
> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
> and live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on
> Monday.
>
> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
> recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future.
> I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep
> and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry.
> If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed
> her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort
> sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the
> few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I
> leave her and wait for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
> swaddle a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got
> this information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does
> anyone else have any experience in this?
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Amber
> Mum to Tessa - 1 month
>

There is no reason to stop swaddling her for sleep if she likes it IMO. A
month is still itty bitty.

[[email protected]]

Doug wrote:
> Hi there,
>
> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22 and
> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.

Hi Amber. Congratulations on your daughter.
>
> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all recommend
> that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future. I've been
> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we try
> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks until
> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few guarantees
> we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and wait
> for her to sleep? Any other ideas?

I sometimes wonder if the people that write in these books 'don't bf to
sleep' actually remember having babies at all? As Sue said, most babies
fall asleep after bf when they are little. When they get a little older
things may change. My ds, now nearly 16 wks, bf to sleep for quite a
few weeks, but then gradually he started to stay awake after feeding.
This gave us problems because he had not learnt how to fall asleep on
his own. Some babies will do this with ease, some need help. We've all
but sorted this problem, but it took a long time. However, we are now
left with the problem that he will *only* got to sleep in his cot, so
napping in public doesn't happen:(.

OTOH I've read some babies feed to sleep for years with no problems
whatsoever.
It does seem to depend on partly what the baby wants and partly whether
the mother doesn't mind being comfort sucked. I guess my advice would
be to go with whatever you are happy with if it works but be aware
things may change.


> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to swaddle
> a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
> information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does anyone
> else have any experience in this?

I was given conflicting information on this. A booklet given by a
company who gives away free stuff to new mums said that the SIDS
Foundation recommended not putting a swaddled baby in a cot. (I'm in
the UK too so you may know who I mean). We stopped swaddling because of
this. I have since read on the SIDS website they have retracted this
advice because people swaddle in different ways. I never knew why the
advice was given in the first place so I have no idea whether it's
relevant or not. Be aware though that some babies don't respond to
swaddling as well when they can break free easily, so that might be
something to bear in mind.

Cheers

Jeni

[Stephanie]

"Sidheag McCormack" > wrote in message
...
> Amber writes:
>
> > Hi there, I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm
> > Amber, I'm 22 and live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was
> > a month old on Monday.
>
> Congratulations!
>
> > I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> > techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
> > recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
> > future. I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly
> > asleep and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes
> > her cry. If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so
> > I'll feed her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute
> > and comfort sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is
> > the one of the few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to
> > easily? Should I leave her and wait for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> I'd suggest going with what works, to be honest. I did the "take him off
> just before he's really asleep" thing, but I'm not convinced it made much
> difference. DS did learn to come off the breast when he was almost asleep,
> but breastfeeding was still part of the going to sleep process, and I
> wouldn't have had it any other way, so although I suppose I may have saved
> a few minutes each bedtime, I feel a bit "so what?" about it! I suppose
> when I started it I imagined there would be a progressive aspect, so that
> he would learn to go to sleep by himself from more and more awake. That
> didn't happen: he always had (has!) to be very nearly asleep before he
> comes off, or he'll wake fully and cry. If I had another child, I'd
> probably just go with letting him/her feed to sleep.
>
> It's a question of what the real issue is. The way I look at it is: if I'm
> around, why *wouldn't* I be prepared to breastfeed him as he goes to
> sleep?


Future sleep association issues, whcih for some is something of a problem
and for others does not turn out to be a problem at all. The thing is, you
don't get to know in advance which your situation will be.

> If I'm not around, then yes, he needs to have another way, but my altering
> what *I* do when I put him to sleep isn't what's necessary there: what's
> necessary there is for whoever can't breastfeed him to sleep to establish
> their own routine. And in fact, DS learned to nap at nursery, where they
> just lie them down on their mats, just fine, even though he wouldn't nap
> like that with me around. DH putting him to bed is unusual enough that it
> tends to be a little upsetting, but it does work, and if we felt the need
> to do that regularly I'm sure they'd quickly adjust. (My SIL has a baby a
> bit younger, and goes out one evening a week; my brother had a rough time
> for a few weeks as he and the baby sorted out a routine that didn't
> involve
> SIL or bf, but it works fine for them now.)
>
> Sleep training, involving leaving the baby to cry for a few minutes before
> going back to them, is not recommended for babies under 6 months anyway,
> so
> even if you do eventually want to go that way, it's too soon yet.
>
> > There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> > swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
> > swaddle a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has
> > got this information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons
> > why? Does anyone else have any experience in this?
>
> No, pretty sure this is not true - or at least, maybe you're not supposed
> to have them swaddled all day as was once done, but I'm pretty sure
> swaddling them at night is OK as long as they want it - but ours always
> hated being swaddled, so I didn't look into it much. Hope someone else can
> help you.
>
> Sidheag
> DS Colin Oct 27 2003
>
>
>

[Doug]

She seems to have got swaddling sorted. We wrap her up and she sleeps fine.
Sometimes we find that she's wriggled her arms free but it does not seem to
bother her. Her problem isn't really her hands its her legs. If we put her
down with normal blankets she wriggles until shes kicks her blankets off and
then cries because she's cold. So although we usually swaddle her arms in
too we don't have to.
What she needs is one of those grow bags - but once again we've been advised
that she shouldn't have one until she's at least a year old because like
duvets they can cause over-heating. Does anyone know if you can get them
made out of a material that isn't like a duvet?

Apologies for being off topic!

Amber

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Doug wrote:
>> Hi there,
>>
>> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>> and
>> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on
>> Monday.
>
> Hi Amber. Congratulations on your daughter.
>>
>> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>> recommend
>> that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future. I've
>> been
>> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
>> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we
>> try
>> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
>> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks
>> until
>> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few
>> guarantees
>> we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and
>> wait
>> for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> I sometimes wonder if the people that write in these books 'don't bf to
> sleep' actually remember having babies at all? As Sue said, most babies
> fall asleep after bf when they are little. When they get a little older
> things may change. My ds, now nearly 16 wks, bf to sleep for quite a
> few weeks, but then gradually he started to stay awake after feeding.
> This gave us problems because he had not learnt how to fall asleep on
> his own. Some babies will do this with ease, some need help. We've all
> but sorted this problem, but it took a long time. However, we are now
> left with the problem that he will *only* got to sleep in his cot, so
> napping in public doesn't happen:(.
>
> OTOH I've read some babies feed to sleep for years with no problems
> whatsoever.
> It does seem to depend on partly what the baby wants and partly whether
> the mother doesn't mind being comfort sucked. I guess my advice would
> be to go with whatever you are happy with if it works but be aware
> things may change.
>
>
>> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
>> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
>> swaddle
>> a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
>> information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does
>> anyone
>> else have any experience in this?
>
> I was given conflicting information on this. A booklet given by a
> company who gives away free stuff to new mums said that the SIDS
> Foundation recommended not putting a swaddled baby in a cot. (I'm in
> the UK too so you may know who I mean). We stopped swaddling because of
> this. I have since read on the SIDS website they have retracted this
> advice because people swaddle in different ways. I never knew why the
> advice was given in the first place so I have no idea whether it's
> relevant or not. Be aware though that some babies don't respond to
> swaddling as well when they can break free easily, so that might be
> something to bear in mind.
>
> Cheers
>
> Jeni
>

[Mal]

Snap!!! Well almost.

We have one as well....shes 3 weeks old. And what a cutie she is.

I reckon you shouldn't worry about the little darling falling asleep when on
the breast - i think its probably really comfy, warm and she feels safe and
secure. Its a bit young to start taking her off when shes a sleep I think.
We have had a few issues with feeding which were resolved by info on
here......and feeding her is a pleasure my wife should enjoy. So should
Rebecca!
If it becomes an issue when shes older - you can take steps to fix it then
but i think you will find that she will not fall asleep when she is bigger,
she will have her fill and then be wide awake for socialising. Unles its
night time etc etc etc.
And also its important for you as a mum to be comfortable and if she falls
asleep and stays asleep you can at least get a good rest yourself rather
than pacifying her for an hour or so and then only having a short rest/sleep
before the next feed. You and him need rest to you know!
As for the wrapping - we do it and she likes it - so we do it....
As for the grow bag, if you feel comfortable, get one. We will. Just keep an
eye on her when its new and make sure its not too hot. If it is open it a
bit.....i'm sure you can work a way out to regulate the temp. I think they
are agreat idea for here in UK winter.
Remember shes yours and you will make mistakes - but dont worry....do what
feels right. There lots of people with lots of different ideas...... But
ultimately the things you raise wont hurt her.....too much. And you'll know
for the next one!!!


But I'm just a bloke......so i might not be as connected as
some......hehehehe


All the best....

Mal...and Nika and Rebecca!


"Doug" > wrote in message
...
> She seems to have got swaddling sorted. We wrap her up and she sleeps
> fine. Sometimes we find that she's wriggled her arms free but it does not
> seem to bother her. Her problem isn't really her hands its her legs. If we
> put her down with normal blankets she wriggles until shes kicks her
> blankets off and then cries because she's cold. So although we usually
> swaddle her arms in too we don't have to.
> What she needs is one of those grow bags - but once again we've been
> advised that she shouldn't have one until she's at least a year old
> because like duvets they can cause over-heating. Does anyone know if you
> can get them made out of a material that isn't like a duvet?
>
> Apologies for being off topic!
>
> Amber
>
> > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>>
>> Doug wrote:
>>> Hi there,
>>>
>>> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>>> and
>>> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on
>>> Monday.
>>
>> Hi Amber. Congratulations on your daughter.
>>>
>>> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>>> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>>> recommend
>>> that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future. I've
>>> been
>>> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
>>> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we
>>> try
>>> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
>>> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks
>>> until
>>> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few
>>> guarantees
>>> we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and
>>> wait
>>> for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>>
>> I sometimes wonder if the people that write in these books 'don't bf to
>> sleep' actually remember having babies at all? As Sue said, most babies
>> fall asleep after bf when they are little. When they get a little older
>> things may change. My ds, now nearly 16 wks, bf to sleep for quite a
>> few weeks, but then gradually he started to stay awake after feeding.
>> This gave us problems because he had not learnt how to fall asleep on
>> his own. Some babies will do this with ease, some need help. We've all
>> but sorted this problem, but it took a long time. However, we are now
>> left with the problem that he will *only* got to sleep in his cot, so
>> napping in public doesn't happen:(.
>>
>> OTOH I've read some babies feed to sleep for years with no problems
>> whatsoever.
>> It does seem to depend on partly what the baby wants and partly whether
>> the mother doesn't mind being comfort sucked. I guess my advice would
>> be to go with whatever you are happy with if it works but be aware
>> things may change.
>>
>>
>>> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
>>> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to
>>> swaddle
>>> a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
>>> information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does
>>> anyone
>>> else have any experience in this?
>>
>> I was given conflicting information on this. A booklet given by a
>> company who gives away free stuff to new mums said that the SIDS
>> Foundation recommended not putting a swaddled baby in a cot. (I'm in
>> the UK too so you may know who I mean). We stopped swaddling because of
>> this. I have since read on the SIDS website they have retracted this
>> advice because people swaddle in different ways. I never knew why the
>> advice was given in the first place so I have no idea whether it's
>> relevant or not. Be aware though that some babies don't respond to
>> swaddling as well when they can break free easily, so that might be
>> something to bear in mind.
>>
>> Cheers
>>
>> Jeni
>>
>
>

[Cuddlefish]

Doug wrote:
> What she needs is one of those grow bags - but once again we've been advised
> that she shouldn't have one until she's at least a year old because like
> duvets they can cause over-heating. Does anyone know if you can get them
> made out of a material that isn't like a duvet?

Our son has worn a flannel Grobag to bed since a few weeks old. It is
certainly a lot easier than swaddling and blankets that can be kicked
off. I'm not sure how it can cause over heating when underneat he is
wearing a simple top or onesie. We already have the next size up since
this one is getting a little snug.

Jacqueline

[JJ]

Thank god for BF to sleep or I would literally have not slept for 10
months. If you want a source that says it's OK, Marc Weissbluth
"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," is one that says BF to sleep is
OK, it won't work forever, but why not use it while it does?

I liked that book for other reasons, but many don't since he does
discuss CIO (not until the baby is quite a bit older)

DD is now 14 months today, and she has just recently stopped falling
asleep BF at night, now I put her down sleepy but awake, and she grabs
lambie and her blankie and snuggles off to sleep without a whimper.

As far as swaddling, DD was a swaddloholic. She absolutely would not
sleep without being practically tied up. We got a lightweight knit
wrap with velcro from Target (in the U.S.) and fastened it over her
flannel swaddle so she couldn't budge. She could escape the flannel
swaddle alone after a few months, and would cry until reswaddled, so
that's when we devloped the "double swaddle" technique. I thought we'd
be swaddling her til college, but at around 9-10 months, she stopped
liking it. So swaddle away. Our ped. told me not to worry about it,
that she was probably just tactilely sensitive, and that he knew of a
kid who was old enough to talk to tell the babysitter just the exact
way she wanted to be swaddled.

Congrats and good luck
JJ

[Linz]

Doug wrote:
> She seems to have got swaddling sorted. We wrap her up and she sleeps
> fine. Sometimes we find that she's wriggled her arms free but it does
> not seem to bother her. Her problem isn't really her hands its her
> legs. If we put her down with normal blankets she wriggles until shes
> kicks her blankets off and then cries because she's cold. So although
> we usually swaddle her arms in too we don't have to.
> What she needs is one of those grow bags - but once again we've been
> advised that she shouldn't have one until she's at least a year old
> because like duvets they can cause over-heating. Does anyone know if
> you can get them made out of a material that isn't like a duvet?

Sleeping bags are fine once the baby is 10lbs. YoungBloke was in one from
the time he ws 10lbs and at 2 years he's still in one. The growbag company
(www.bump2three.co.uk I think) has all the guidelines for what to use -
their bags come in ranges from 0.5tog (thinner than duvet by a long way) to
2.5tog and they're fab. I strongly recommend them for a baby who isn't
co-sleeping because you don't have the problem of blanket kicking.

[[email protected]]

Doug wrote:
> She seems to have got swaddling sorted. We wrap her up and she sleeps fine.
> Sometimes we find that she's wriggled her arms free but it does not seem to
> bother her. Her problem isn't really her hands its her legs. If we put her
> down with normal blankets she wriggles until shes kicks her blankets off and
> then cries because she's cold. So although we usually swaddle her arms in
> too we don't have to.
> What she needs is one of those grow bags - but once again we've been advised
> that she shouldn't have one until she's at least a year old because like
> duvets they can cause over-heating. Does anyone know if you can get them
> made out of a material that isn't like a duvet?
>
> Apologies for being off topic!
>
> Amber

I've never heard that you shouldn't get one before a year and I've been
particularly adherant to the guidelines regarding
SIDS/smothering/overheating.
DS has been in a gro-bag since 3 months. He used to wake all the time
because he'd wriggle out of his covers but that never happens now.
There are very specific guidelines that come with the gro-bags that
advice what your baby should be wearing according to the tog of bag and
temperature of the room they sleep in. The only time they don't advice
using one is in high summer or if the room is above a certain temp. If
it's that high covers wouldn't be necessary anyway.

Maybe you are thinking of a sleeping bag. Gro-bag is a brand name but
lots of other companies make them and some call them sleeping bags but
they aren't they mean gro-bags as they have arm holes, which stop baby
slipping under the covers. We have one my sister bought called a baby
nest.

Perhaps if you are worried you could contact the SIDS people or check
their website.

HTH

Jeni

[Amy]

JJ wrote:

> Our ped. told me not to worry about it,
> that she was probably just tactilely sensitive, and that he knew of a
> kid who was old enough to talk to tell the babysitter just the exact
> way she wanted to be swaddled.

I remember being, well, being old enough to remember, maybe 10 or 11,
and wrapping myself up like a burrito in my blankets. I would lay them
out flat on the bed, then grab one side and tuck it under myself, then
roll over until the other side was tight, too. It wasn't necessarily
swaddling, but it produced the same effect. Around puberty I stopped
liking this, and now I have to sleep with at least one foot out from
under the covers, otherwise I overheat.

I'm fairly certain that I turned out ok, too, although some may
disagree.

Amy

[Melania]

Doug wrote:
> Hi there,
>
> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22 and
> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>
> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all recommend
> that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future.

But not forever ;)

After we'd given up all other feeds, ds#1 still nursed to sleep at nap
and bedtime. Until he was 22 mo. I was the only person I knew whose
toddler came to her at 7 pm in the middle of summer, with the sun still
out, and said "sleepy bed nurse." Sure enough, we'd lay down, nurse for
a couple of minutes, and he'd be out like a light. When he was 22 mo,
we started just laying down with him and snuggling. He asked for milk
the first few times, and I just said, "let's just snuggle for now," and
eventually, "oh, you know we don't do that anymore!" And he was weaned!
Not for everyone, but it worked so well for me that I've been
exasperated by ds#2's frequent need to be rocked/bounced to sleep, and
am trying to condition him to fall asleep nursing instead.

I've been
> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry.

I know many people whose babies fall asleep beautifully when laid down
tired, or half asleep, and I know just as many people whose babies cry
and scream the moment they're set down. My own have both fallen into
the latter category.

If we try
> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks until
> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few guarantees
> we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and wait
> for her to sleep? Any other ideas?

honestly, I personally would keep nursing to sleep! Then again, I
cosleep, so it's no skin off my nose to nurse in bed . . . it may be
more of a pain for you to nurse to sleep, whereas it's a convenience
for me.

>
> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to swaddle
> a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
> information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does anyone
> else have any experience in this?

When ds#1 was 7 weeks old, we were scolded by the proprietor of a
Korean restaurant for not having the baby swaddled. She said they
should basically be swaddled *all the time* for the first 2 months! We
didn't do that with either one, but where ds#1 could really take or
leave swaddling after the first few weeks, ds#2 needed to be swaddled
tightly and bounced to sleep for the first 3.5 months.

Frankly, anything that helps you get sleep is good, IMO.

Good luck,
Melania

[Cocoamum]

Amy skrev:
> JJ wrote:
>
>
>>Our ped. told me not to worry about it,
>>that she was probably just tactilely sensitive, and that he knew of a
>>kid who was old enough to talk to tell the babysitter just the exact
>>way she wanted to be swaddled.
>
>
> I remember being, well, being old enough to remember, maybe 10 or 11,
> and wrapping myself up like a burrito in my blankets. I would lay them
> out flat on the bed, then grab one side and tuck it under myself, then
> roll over until the other side was tight, too.

My kids like that as well. "Make me into a duvet worm, mom"

So I do. One is 13 and the other is 8.

Tine, Denmark

[Mal]

See.... they all agree with me!!!! I'm ahero........

Good advice from all...enjoy those comfy minutes....

Mal

[Jo]

Doug wrote:
> Hi there,
>
> I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22 and
> live in UK. I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>
> I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
> techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all recommend
> that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future. I've been
> trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep and not
> letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry. If we try
> and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed her some
> more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort sucks until
> she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the few guarantees
> we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily? Should I leave her and wait
> for her to sleep? Any other ideas?
>
> There is one other guarantee that she'll sleep and that is
> swaddling/wrapping. My partner has said that you're not supposed to swaddle
> a baby after they reach a month old (I'm not sure where he has got this
> information from). Do you know if this is true? And reasons why? Does anyone
> else have any experience in this?
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Amber
> Mum to Tessa - 1 month
>
>

We have gone from Feed/Play/Sleep to BF to sleep in the last week. It
seems to be the only way to get DS to sleep now (most of the time). We
have stopped swaddling now (since 4.5 months) because he just kept
getting out of it and swiping the dummy out, then crying. The
co-sleeping is also seeming to work better most nights. He still wakes
regularly though...

WRT swaddling, if your baby likes it and you're not over heating her,
then it's fine. Be sure to leave her head uncovered. I looked up
gro-bags on the net, including eBay last night, and they are really
expensive!

Jo

[Chookie]

In article >,
Jo > wrote:

> WRT swaddling, if your baby likes it and you're not over heating her,
> then it's fine.

Use a cot sheet for a bigger baby -- it's hard for them to get out of.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

[Sarah Vaughan]

In message >, Doug
> writes
>I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>and live in UK.

Hiya! Whereabouts? (I'm in Wiltshire.)

> I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>
>I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
>future.

Ah, yes, I read similar books. They all seem to be based on an unstated
assumption that babies are born in a default state of perfect sleep
ability and all you have to do is avoid messing with that (and if you
do, of course, it's all your fault if the child develops sleep
problems).

This is, of course, rubbish. It takes no account of the fact that
babies are often _born_ needing breastfeeding to go to sleep. Most of
the books are curiously silent on what you're meant to do if the 'put
them down drowsy but awake' advice doesn't work. Exceptions are Gina
Ford, who recommends letting a baby yell for up to 20 minutes (not
something I'd be at all keen on with a newborn), and Tracy Hogg, who
recommends using a dummy (tried that, didn't work for my son - although
you could certainly give it a go and see whether you have better luck).

>I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep
>and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her
>cry. If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so
>I'll feed her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute
>and comfort sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is
>the one of the few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to
>easily?

Nope. I spent two miserable, stressful months trying unsuccessfully to
persuade Jamie to fall asleep without nursing before it finally and
belatedly dawned on me that this was completely insane. I was going to
huge amounts of trouble over his sleep purely to avoid a situation where
I would be going to huge amounts of trouble over his sleep. This was
just as illogical as it sounded, and I am not proud of having fallen for
it for so long. Learn from my mistakes. ;-)

All the best,

Sarah

--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com

But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they wished
they’d spent more time at the office?

[Doug]

Hello,

I'm based in sunny Devon.

I've given up on what the books say and I happily nurse her to sleep. I
enjoy doing it and it guarantees us at least a few hours sleep...


"Sarah Vaughan" > wrote in message
...
> In message >, Doug
> > writes
>>I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>>and live in UK.
>
> Hiya! Whereabouts? (I'm in Wiltshire.)
>
>> I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>>
>>I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>>techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>>recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the future.
>
> Ah, yes, I read similar books. They all seem to be based on an unstated
> assumption that babies are born in a default state of perfect sleep
> ability and all you have to do is avoid messing with that (and if you do,
> of course, it's all your fault if the child develops sleep problems).
>
> This is, of course, rubbish. It takes no account of the fact that babies
> are often _born_ needing breastfeeding to go to sleep. Most of the books
> are curiously silent on what you're meant to do if the 'put them down
> drowsy but awake' advice doesn't work. Exceptions are Gina Ford, who
> recommends letting a baby yell for up to 20 minutes (not something I'd be
> at all keen on with a newborn), and Tracy Hogg, who recommends using a
> dummy (tried that, didn't work for my son - although you could certainly
> give it a go and see whether you have better luck).
>
>>I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep
>>and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry.
>>If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed
>>her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort
>>sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the
>>few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily?
>
> Nope. I spent two miserable, stressful months trying unsuccessfully to
> persuade Jamie to fall asleep without nursing before it finally and
> belatedly dawned on me that this was completely insane. I was going to
> huge amounts of trouble over his sleep purely to avoid a situation where I
> would be going to huge amounts of trouble over his sleep. This was just
> as illogical as it sounded, and I am not proud of having fallen for it for
> so long. Learn from my mistakes. ;-)
>
> All the best,
>
> Sarah
>
> --
> http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com
>
> But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they
> wished
> they'd spent more time at the office?
>

[Mal]

Good on'ya....... If they weren't supposed to suck themselves to sleep
dummies/pacifiers would never have been invented.

Mal (And according to the weather on TV Devon ain't so sunny!) We are in
Beds...thats the county not the room.


"Doug" > wrote in message
...
> Hello,
>
> I'm based in sunny Devon.
>
> I've given up on what the books say and I happily nurse her to sleep. I
> enjoy doing it and it guarantees us at least a few hours sleep...
>
>
> "Sarah Vaughan" > wrote in message
> ...
>> In message >, Doug
>> > writes
>>>I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>>>and live in UK.
>>
>> Hiya! Whereabouts? (I'm in Wiltshire.)
>>
>>> I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>>>
>>>I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>>>techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>>>recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
>>>future.
>>
>> Ah, yes, I read similar books. They all seem to be based on an unstated
>> assumption that babies are born in a default state of perfect sleep
>> ability and all you have to do is avoid messing with that (and if you do,
>> of course, it's all your fault if the child develops sleep problems).
>>
>> This is, of course, rubbish. It takes no account of the fact that babies
>> are often _born_ needing breastfeeding to go to sleep. Most of the books
>> are curiously silent on what you're meant to do if the 'put them down
>> drowsy but awake' advice doesn't work. Exceptions are Gina Ford, who
>> recommends letting a baby yell for up to 20 minutes (not something I'd be
>> at all keen on with a newborn), and Tracy Hogg, who recommends using a
>> dummy (tried that, didn't work for my son - although you could certainly
>> give it a go and see whether you have better luck).
>>
>>>I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep
>>>and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry.
>>>If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed
>>>her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort
>>>sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of the
>>>few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily?
>>
>> Nope. I spent two miserable, stressful months trying unsuccessfully to
>> persuade Jamie to fall asleep without nursing before it finally and
>> belatedly dawned on me that this was completely insane. I was going to
>> huge amounts of trouble over his sleep purely to avoid a situation where
>> I would be going to huge amounts of trouble over his sleep. This was
>> just as illogical as it sounded, and I am not proud of having fallen for
>> it for so long. Learn from my mistakes. ;-)
>>
>> All the best,
>>
>> Sarah
>>
>> --
>> http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com
>>
>> But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they
>> wished
>> they'd spent more time at the office?
>>
>
>

[Doug]

:-) Alright so its not sunny but I'm ever the optimist!

How many other UK types are there on here? Where is everyone based?

Amber

"Mal" > wrote in message
...
> Good on'ya....... If they weren't supposed to suck themselves to sleep
> dummies/pacifiers would never have been invented.
>
> Mal (And according to the weather on TV Devon ain't so sunny!) We are in
> Beds...thats the county not the room.
>
>
> "Doug" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Hello,
>>
>> I'm based in sunny Devon.
>>
>> I've given up on what the books say and I happily nurse her to sleep. I
>> enjoy doing it and it guarantees us at least a few hours sleep...
>>
>>
>> "Sarah Vaughan" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> In message >, Doug
>>> > writes
>>>>I'm new to this group so first I'll introduce myself. I'm Amber, I'm 22
>>>>and live in UK.
>>>
>>> Hiya! Whereabouts? (I'm in Wiltshire.)
>>>
>>>> I have a gorgeous daughter, Tessa who was a month old on Monday.
>>>>
>>>>I have a question regarding BF to sleep. I have been reading up on
>>>>techniques to help your baby sleep through the night and they all
>>>>recommend that I don't BF her to sleep as she'll rely on it in the
>>>>future.
>>>
>>> Ah, yes, I read similar books. They all seem to be based on an unstated
>>> assumption that babies are born in a default state of perfect sleep
>>> ability and all you have to do is avoid messing with that (and if you
>>> do, of course, it's all your fault if the child develops sleep
>>> problems).
>>>
>>> This is, of course, rubbish. It takes no account of the fact that
>>> babies are often _born_ needing breastfeeding to go to sleep. Most of
>>> the books are curiously silent on what you're meant to do if the 'put
>>> them down drowsy but awake' advice doesn't work. Exceptions are Gina
>>> Ford, who recommends letting a baby yell for up to 20 minutes (not
>>> something I'd be at all keen on with a newborn), and Tracy Hogg, who
>>> recommends using a dummy (tried that, didn't work for my son - although
>>> you could certainly give it a go and see whether you have better luck).
>>>
>>>>I've been trying to put her down in her cot before shes properly asleep
>>>>and not letting her fall asleep at the breast but it just makes her cry.
>>>>If we try and comfort her she behaves like she's hungry and so I'll feed
>>>>her some more. Then she usually just feed for about a minute and comfort
>>>>sucks until she's asleep. At the moment comfort sucking is the one of
>>>>the few guarantees we can get some sleep. Am I giving up to easily?
>>>
>>> Nope. I spent two miserable, stressful months trying unsuccessfully to
>>> persuade Jamie to fall asleep without nursing before it finally and
>>> belatedly dawned on me that this was completely insane. I was going to
>>> huge amounts of trouble over his sleep purely to avoid a situation where
>>> I would be going to huge amounts of trouble over his sleep. This was
>>> just as illogical as it sounded, and I am not proud of having fallen for
>>> it for so long. Learn from my mistakes. ;-)
>>>
>>> All the best,
>>>
>>> Sarah
>>>
>>> --
>>> http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com
>>>
>>> But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they
>>> wished
>>> they'd spent more time at the office?
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

[Cocoamum]

Doug skrev:
> :-) Alright so its not sunny but I'm ever the optimist!
>
> How many other UK types are there on here? Where is everyone based?
>
> Amber

Does Europe count? I'm in Denmark. At least we're awake around the same
hours.

Tine, Denmark

[[email protected]]

Doug wrote:
> :-) Alright so its not sunny but I'm ever the optimist!
>
> How many other UK types are there on here? Where is everyone based?


I'm in Cambridge, UK

Jeni

[Linz]

Doug wrote:
> :-) Alright so its not sunny but I'm ever the optimist!
>
> How many other UK types are there on here? Where is everyone based?

Wet Yorks calling! And I work in Manchester. I hardly ever see the sun...

[Iuil]

"Linz" wrote
> > How many other UK types are there on here? Where is everyone based?
>
> Wet Yorks calling! And I work in Manchester. I hardly ever see the sun...


I'm in Dublin Ireland - I'd give Linz a close run for lack of sun :-).

Jean

--
DD - June '02
DS - May '05