what my mum overheard

[Anne Rogers]

thankfully this is 25 years ago, but when in hospital after having my sister
she overheard a nurse telling a mother off, saying the reason she was so
tired is because she was feeding her baby too frequently, now which do you
think would make you more tired, breastfeeding, or sitting next to a
screaming baby, this was a very modern hospital where rooming-in was
practised.

Anne

[Cuddlefish]

Anne Rogers wrote:
> thankfully this is 25 years ago, but when in hospital after having my sister
> she overheard a nurse telling a mother off, saying the reason she was so
> tired is because she was feeding her baby too frequently, now which do you
> think would make you more tired, breastfeeding, or sitting next to a
> screaming baby, this was a very modern hospital where rooming-in was
> practised.
>
> Anne
>
>

Yes, but this does and can happen. I found that it was certainly the
case for me. When I started looking for the cues he was hungry, I began
feeding him a lot less frequently. Less prolactin made me less tired,
plus I was able to do other things that stimulated me. FWIW my baby did
not use crying that much to show hunger.

Sure attitudes have changed since 25 years ago, but this comment in
itself is certainly not an example of some draconian advice that should
have gone by the wayside.

Jacqueline

[Anne Rogers]

> Yes, but this does and can happen. I found that it was certainly the case
> for me. When I started looking for the cues he was hungry, I began feeding
> him a lot less frequently. Less prolactin made me less tired, plus I was
> able to do other things that stimulated me. FWIW my baby did not use
> crying that much to show hunger.
>
> Sure attitudes have changed since 25 years ago, but this comment in itself
> is certainly not an example of some draconian advice that should have gone
> by the wayside.

with an older baby perhaps, but this was a newborn, it seems to me that
newborns are either asleep or latched on to the breast, particularly on days
2 and 3 before the milk has come in, they are always hungry unless they are
too tired, in which case they sleep.

When you have just had a baby the reason you are tired is probably because
you've been awake at peculiar hours because of labour, then awake at
peculiar hours due to an adrenalin high, I don't think prolactin production
even kicks in until day 2 or 3, because that is what causes your milk to
come in.

The nurse may well have been right, but telling off a mother for feeding too
much is not the way to go about it, teaching the mother how to recognise
it's cues and then offering to take the baby away until it next needs
feeding.

Anne

[Cuddlefish]

Anne Rogers wrote:
>>Yes, but this does and can happen. I found that it was certainly the case
>>for me. When I started looking for the cues he was hungry, I began feeding
>>him a lot less frequently. Less prolactin made me less tired, plus I was
>>able to do other things that stimulated me. FWIW my baby did not use
>>crying that much to show hunger.
>>
>>Sure attitudes have changed since 25 years ago, but this comment in itself
>>is certainly not an example of some draconian advice that should have gone
>>by the wayside.
>
>
> with an older baby perhaps, but this was a newborn, it seems to me that
> newborns are either asleep or latched on to the breast, particularly on days
> 2 and 3 before the milk has come in, they are always hungry unless they are
> too tired, in which case they sleep.

I was referring to my son as a newborn. Things are different now.

Jacqueline

[Marie]

"Anne Rogers" > wrote in message
...
> thankfully this is 25 years ago, but when in hospital after having my
sister
> she overheard a nurse telling a mother off, saying the reason she was so
> tired is because she was feeding her baby too frequently, now which do you
> think would make you more tired, breastfeeding, or sitting next to a
> screaming baby, this was a very modern hospital where rooming-in was
> practised.
>
> Anne
>
>

In my case, I was made more tired by the night nurses making their
late-night rounds. They had to take DD away for tests at 10 or 10:30 pm.
Then they had to check on me around 4 am in the morning. This was on top of
my taking care of DD during the night along with DH's help. And b/c my room
was next to the helicopter pad on the second floor, they turned on the
bright lights that shone into my window around 2 am one morning for a
helicopter-related emergency. I was trying to get sleep during those times.
By the time we were discharged to go home, I was very exhausted.

Marie
DD-21 mo

[Mum of Two]

> In my case, I was made more tired by the night nurses making their
> late-night rounds. They had to take DD away for tests at 10 or 10:30 pm.
> Then they had to check on me around 4 am in the morning. This was on top
> of
> my taking care of DD during the night along with DH's help. And b/c my
> room
> was next to the helicopter pad on the second floor, they turned on the
> bright lights that shone into my window around 2 am one morning for a
> helicopter-related emergency. I was trying to get sleep during those
> times.
> By the time we were discharged to go home, I was very exhausted.

Check on you why? Were you actively haemorrhaging to death? I would have to
be well and truly on the way out before I tolerated someone waking me at 4am
for no good reason.

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Anne Rogers]

> I was referring to my son as a newborn. Things are different now.

really? I'd be interested if there is anyone out there who understood how
prolactin production kicked in, I was under the impression that in the first
48-72 hrs after delivery it was low, the a huge peak causing milk to come in
then settles down.

I'm not even entirely sure that prolactin is linked to tiredness, I've never
heard that before, also I take a drug which one of the side effects is an
increase in prolactin, tiredness is not one of the side effects.

I think I need to find out more...

Anne

[Andrea S]

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ...
>
> When you have just had a baby the reason you are tired is probably because
> you've been awake at peculiar hours because of labour, then awake at
> peculiar hours due to an adrenalin high, I don't think prolactin
> production even kicks in until day 2 or 3, because that is what causes
> your milk to come in.
>
> The nurse may well have been right, but telling off a mother for feeding
> too much is not the way to go about it, teaching the mother how to
> recognise it's cues and then offering to take the baby away until it next
> needs feeding.
>
> Anne
That was true for me.. I had Erin at 5.23am - hadn't slept the 2 nights
before due to illness then labour. Took me a whole week to get any decent
sleep.. if you can with Sleep Apnea! I was told off for feeding Erin, she
was in a hot cot as she was cold.. but I wrapped her up snug.

Andrea 28 today!

[Andrea S]

There is something in breastmilk that causes the mom to relax/feel sleepy
while feeding her baby.. not sure what though...

Andrea 28 today!

[Cocoamum]

Anne Rogers skrev:
>>I was referring to my son as a newborn. Things are different now.
>
>
> really? I'd be interested if there is anyone out there who understood how
> prolactin production kicked in, I was under the impression that in the first
> 48-72 hrs after delivery it was low, the a huge peak causing milk to come in
> then settles down.
>
> I'm not even entirely sure that prolactin is linked to tiredness, I've never
> heard that before, also I take a drug which one of the side effects is an
> increase in prolactin, tiredness is not one of the side effects.

I don't know it there's any connection, but you produce more prolactin
while you sleep.

Tine, Denmark

[Marie]

"Mum of Two" > wrote in message
...
> > In my case, I was made more tired by the night nurses making their
> > late-night rounds. They had to take DD away for tests at 10 or 10:30 pm.
> > Then they had to check on me around 4 am in the morning. This was on top
> > of
> > my taking care of DD during the night along with DH's help. And b/c my
> > room
> > was next to the helicopter pad on the second floor, they turned on the
> > bright lights that shone into my window around 2 am one morning for a
> > helicopter-related emergency. I was trying to get sleep during those
> > times.
> > By the time we were discharged to go home, I was very exhausted.
>
> Check on you why? Were you actively haemorrhaging to death? I would have
to
> be well and truly on the way out before I tolerated someone waking me at
4am
> for no good reason.
>
> --
> Amy
> Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
> & Ana born screaming 30/06/04
> http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
> My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/
>
>

I had no delivery complications. They just took my pulse and my blood
pressure. I had roomed in with my DD; maybe they wanted to check if the baby
was all right. I guess they were being either overly cautious or terribly
inefficient. While the nurses were nice and helpful, I wasn't real impressed
with how the maternity ward was ran.

Marie
DD-21 mo

[Mum of Two]

> "Mum of Two" > wrote in message
> ...

>> Check on you why? Were you actively haemorrhaging to death? I would have
> to
>> be well and truly on the way out before I tolerated someone waking me at
> 4am
>> for no good reason.

> I had no delivery complications. They just took my pulse and my blood
> pressure. I had roomed in with my DD; maybe they wanted to check if the
> baby
> was all right. I guess they were being either overly cautious or terribly
> inefficient. While the nurses were nice and helpful, I wasn't real
> impressed
> with how the maternity ward was ran.

That's terrible that you were woken at that hour :-( I would have been
seriously p!ssed. Rooming in is the norm here, and no-one routinely checks
on women who have had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries at odd hours. I know
the c-section Mums get more help, and possibly regular checks.
I was annoyed at the healthcare assistant who bowled in at 7am and clattered
the rubbish bin. She also took the sign that we'd expressly asked to be hung
on the door - which said 'new mother sleeping' - after our rough night,
without asking. She just came in, saw I was awake and ditched the sign. If
she'd come in at 4am I think she would still be plucking my fingernails from
her back. I am not nice in the wee hours.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[[email protected]]

They woke me up 2 times a night when I was in the hospital with my son.
I had no complications, not even a tear or a cut. She came in, took my
pulse and blood pressure, and pushed on my uterus(which made those
nasty huge clots come out...I hated that part!)
Danielle

[[email protected]]

They woke me up 2 times a night when I was in the hospital with my son.
I had no complications, not even a tear or a cut. She came in, took my
pulse and blood pressure, and pushed on my uterus(which made those
nasty huge clots come out...I hated that part!)
Danielle

[[email protected]]

With dd1 the reason I fled the hospital when I did, before our
complementary romantic (ha!) dinner for two or fruit basket showed up,
was because they would NOT let me sleep. It takes me 1-2 hours to get
to sleep, pretty routinely, and they would come in at the 2 hour mark
and make me "try to feed the baby again" even if she was sound asleep,
then take my blood pressure, etc. It was freakin' awful. One of the
reasons I had my second at home, in fact, and as painful as dd2's birth
was, and as messed up as her first months were, the one thing that
WASN'T traumatic was how the time right after her birth was handled. I
had a bubble of 5 days of not stressing about anything but
recuperating. At a hospital it would have been much different, for no
net benefit in the long run, with much potential harm.

[[email protected]]

> Rooming in is the norm here, and no-one routinely checks
> on women who have had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries at odd hours. I know
> the c-section Mums get more help, and possibly regular checks.

Even women with uncomplicated deliveries run a high risk of postpartum
clots. There's even some new study about it; if anyone's interested
I'll hunt it down. C-section moms moreso; PE moms even moreso. Some
women (particularly those with a history of PIH) develop postpartum PE.
They absolutely will come get you up to walk around the ward every few
hours if they think you are at high risk for developing blood clots.

I got checked every two hours for five days postpartum, with my OB
making rounds at 12:45 am one night... and I did not sleep for 5 days
straight either, though that might well be blamed on the hyperreflexia
which accompanies PE. And I was really glad they were doing it,
because a friend who'd had a C-section a year previously had been
readmitted three days postpartum with a pulmonary embolism, which meant
that she got to work on establishing breastfeeding during that first
week while in the ICU on heparin. But I was also really, really
sleepy.

--
C, mama to three year old nursling

[Mum of Two]

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>> Rooming in is the norm here, and no-one routinely checks
>> on women who have had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries at odd hours. I
>> know
>> the c-section Mums get more help, and possibly regular checks.
>
> Even women with uncomplicated deliveries run a high risk of postpartum
> clots. There's even some new study about it; if anyone's interested
> I'll hunt it down. C-section moms moreso; PE moms even moreso. Some
> women (particularly those with a history of PIH) develop postpartum PE.
> They absolutely will come get you up to walk around the ward every few
> hours if they think you are at high risk for developing blood clots.

They did encourage us to walk around, but not by waking us at odd hours. I
was up and in the shower within about half an hour of delivery. Presumably
most mothers are up anyway during the night feeding and changing their
babies, since when you room in there is no-one to do it for you. There were
no toilets or showers in the rooms either, so that meant a walk down the
hall. If you were hungry you went and made yourself toast, againt that was
at the other end of the ward. I can see that the c-section mothers would be
at particular risk as they weren't very mobile, but I don't think it would
be justification for waking everyone at 4am, not here at least.

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

> wrote in message
oups.com...
> With dd1 the reason I fled the hospital when I did, before our
> complementary romantic (ha!) dinner for two or fruit basket showed up,
> was because they would NOT let me sleep. It takes me 1-2 hours to get
> to sleep, pretty routinely, and they would come in at the 2 hour mark
> and make me "try to feed the baby again" even if she was sound asleep,


Our hospital is working on baby friendly accreditation, so they were
*militant* about breastfeeding. I was satisfied that DD was feeding fine,
but they insisted on checking her latch, which was difficult as her feeds
were short and frequent early on. They actually wrote "Observed father in
ward with infant. Evidence of milk around mouth". That blew me away, and
still cracks me up.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Marie]

On Thu, 17 Nov 2005 10:24:55 +1300, "Mum of Two"
> wrote:
>Our hospital is working on baby friendly accreditation, so they were
>*militant* about breastfeeding. I was satisfied that DD was feeding fine,
>but they insisted on checking her latch, which was difficult as her feeds
>were short and frequent early on. They actually wrote "Observed father in
>ward with infant. Evidence of milk around mouth". That blew me away, and
>still cracks me up.

So they saw that your husband drank his milk! lol
Marie

[Akuvikate]

Most hospitals check on most patients' vital signs (heart rate,
temperature, blood pressure) every 4 hours. I have mixed feelings
about it. On the one hand people really need their sleep. On the
other hand it sure would be a bummer to have someone start going into
septic shock in the middle of the night and not notice that her blood
pressure was dropping until 6 hours later. For the Bug's first days my
sleep schedule had little to do with day or night. The nurses were as
likely to wake me up at 4pm as they were to wake me up at 4am, so I
didn't mind. Actually I only slept 8 hours for the first 4 days so I
was probably awake anyway.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, almost 2 and 1/2

[PattyMomVA]

"Mum of Two" wrote and I snipped:
> > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>>> Rooming in is the norm here, and no-one routinely checks
>>> on women who have had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries at odd hours. I
>>> know
>>> the c-section Mums get more help, and possibly regular checks.
>>
>> Even women with uncomplicated deliveries run a high risk of postpartum
>> clots. There's even some new study about it; if anyone's interested
>> I'll hunt it down. C-section moms moreso; PE moms even moreso. Some
>> women (particularly those with a history of PIH) develop postpartum PE.
>> They absolutely will come get you up to walk around the ward every few
>> hours if they think you are at high risk for developing blood clots.
>
> They did encourage us to walk around, but not by waking us at odd hours. I
> was up and in the shower within about half an hour of delivery. Presumably
> most mothers are up anyway during the night feeding and changing their
> babies, since when you room in there is no-one to do it for you. There
> were no toilets or showers in the rooms either, so that meant a walk down
> the hall. If you were hungry you went and made yourself toast, againt that
> was at the other end of the ward. I can see that the c-section mothers
> would be at particular risk as they weren't very mobile, but I don't think
> it would be justification for waking everyone at 4am, not here at least.

After my deliveries, both vaginal, one unmedicated, I only got out of bed
to use the toilet (private, in the room). Rooming-in included DH, and he
changed all the diapers and brought the baby to me to feed, or got me
snacks, etc. Come to think of it, being in the hospital made me feel like a
"patient". I almost wish I had been motivated to be more mobile, but I
think I was also exhausted.

-Patty, mom of 1+2

[Anne Rogers]

> With dd1 the reason I fled the hospital when I did, before our
> complementary romantic (ha!) dinner for two or fruit basket showed up,
> was because they would NOT let me sleep. It takes me 1-2 hours to get
> to sleep, pretty routinely, and they would come in at the 2 hour mark
> and make me "try to feed the baby again" even if she was sound asleep,
> then take my blood pressure, etc. It was freakin' awful. One of the
> reasons I had my second at home, in fact, and as painful as dd2's birth
> was, and as messed up as her first months were, the one thing that
> WASN'T traumatic was how the time right after her birth was handled. I
> had a bubble of 5 days of not stressing about anything but
> recuperating. At a hospital it would have been much different, for no
> net benefit in the long run, with much potential harm.


It's a bummer isn't it, the stay in hospital was fairly horrendous after DS,
so after DD I was leaving ASAP, I let people know this was my intention, not
being able to leave straight after would have been about the only reason I
wouldn't have had an epidural, but they assured me it would make no
difference. I was ready to go about 3hrs after the birth, I settled down to
feed Ada and DH gathered our stuff together and went to get the car to the
entrance, then an evil midwife appeared and told us we couldn't go home, I
said I was going and pass me the self discharge book, which I signed and off
we went. I later discovered that she had reported us to social services for
that, fortunately they chose to do nothing. I suspect that this was due to
my previous history of PND, but they really should listen to the person, one
of my big reasons for leaving was PND, I felt that the first 48hrs spent at
home with my husband would be a much better start than being alone in
hospital.

Anne

[Rebecca Jo]

"Anne Rogers" > wrote

> It's a bummer isn't it, the stay in hospital was fairly horrendous after
> DS, so after DD I was leaving ASAP, I let people know this was my
> intention, not being able to leave straight after would have been about
> the only reason I wouldn't have had an epidural, but they assured me it
> would make no difference. I was ready to go about 3hrs after the birth, I
> settled down to feed Ada and DH gathered our stuff together and went to
> get the car to the entrance, then an evil midwife appeared and told us we
> couldn't go home, I said I was going and pass me the self discharge book,
> which I signed and off we went. I later discovered that she had reported
> us to social services for that, fortunately they chose to do nothing. I
> suspect that this was due to my previous history of PND, but they really
> should listen to the person, one of my big reasons for leaving was PND, I
> felt that the first 48hrs spent at home with my husband would be a much
> better start than being alone in hospital.
>
> Anne

The doctor I was originally going with told us we could NOT leave the
hospital before 24 hours unless we wanted child protective services to come
to our house & see why we needed to get the baby home ASAP. When I switched
to the midwife/birth center, we went home 4 hours after the baby was born.

rj

[Mum of Two]

"PattyMomVA" > wrote in message
...
> "Mum of Two" wrote and I snipped:
>> > wrote in message
>> oups.com...
>>>> Rooming in is the norm here, and no-one routinely checks
>>>> on women who have had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries at odd hours. I
>>>> know
>>>> the c-section Mums get more help, and possibly regular checks.
>>>
>>> Even women with uncomplicated deliveries run a high risk of postpartum
>>> clots. There's even some new study about it; if anyone's interested
>>> I'll hunt it down. C-section moms moreso; PE moms even moreso. Some
>>> women (particularly those with a history of PIH) develop postpartum PE.
>>> They absolutely will come get you up to walk around the ward every few
>>> hours if they think you are at high risk for developing blood clots.
>>
>> They did encourage us to walk around, but not by waking us at odd hours.
>> I was up and in the shower within about half an hour of delivery.
>> Presumably most mothers are up anyway during the night feeding and
>> changing their babies, since when you room in there is no-one to do it
>> for you. There were no toilets or showers in the rooms either, so that
>> meant a walk down the hall. If you were hungry you went and made yourself
>> toast, againt that was at the other end of the ward. I can see that the
>> c-section mothers would be at particular risk as they weren't very
>> mobile, but I don't think it would be justification for waking everyone
>> at 4am, not here at least.
>
> After my deliveries, both vaginal, one unmedicated, I only got out of bed
> to use the toilet (private, in the room). Rooming-in included DH, and he
> changed all the diapers and brought the baby to me to feed, or got me
> snacks, etc. Come to think of it, being in the hospital made me feel like
> a "patient". I almost wish I had been motivated to be more mobile, but I
> think I was also exhausted.


Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

"Marie" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 17 Nov 2005 10:24:55 +1300, "Mum of Two"
> > wrote:
>>Our hospital is working on baby friendly accreditation, so they were
>>*militant* about breastfeeding. I was satisfied that DD was feeding fine,
>>but they insisted on checking her latch, which was difficult as her feeds
>>were short and frequent early on. They actually wrote "Observed father in
>>ward with infant. Evidence of milk around mouth". That blew me away, and
>>still cracks me up.
>
> So they saw that your husband drank his milk! lol

LOL...I can't remember if it was phrased _exactly_ like that, that just
makes it even more hilarious doesn't it? Hah, maybe that's why they made DH
leave the second night. They thought we had an adult nursing relationship
and that DD wasn't getting fed. I never thought of it like that before!


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

"Rebecca Jo" > wrote in message
...
> "Anne Rogers" > wrote
>
>> It's a bummer isn't it, the stay in hospital was fairly horrendous after
>> DS, so after DD I was leaving ASAP, I let people know this was my
>> intention, not being able to leave straight after would have been about
>> the only reason I wouldn't have had an epidural, but they assured me it
>> would make no difference. I was ready to go about 3hrs after the birth, I
>> settled down to feed Ada and DH gathered our stuff together and went to
>> get the car to the entrance, then an evil midwife appeared and told us we
>> couldn't go home, I said I was going and pass me the self discharge book,
>> which I signed and off we went. I later discovered that she had reported
>> us to social services for that, fortunately they chose to do nothing. I
>> suspect that this was due to my previous history of PND, but they really
>> should listen to the person, one of my big reasons for leaving was PND, I
>> felt that the first 48hrs spent at home with my husband would be a much
>> better start than being alone in hospital.
>>
>> Anne
>
> The doctor I was originally going with told us we could NOT leave the
> hospital before 24 hours unless we wanted child protective services to
> come to our house & see why we needed to get the baby home ASAP. When I
> switched to the midwife/birth center, we went home 4 hours after the baby
> was born.

OMG. You obviously don't have a public health system. In Auckland, they ran
out of maternity beds and made one guy drive his wife either home or to
another hospital in his car four hours after she delivered. I understand
wanting to be home the same day, but that was just cruel IMO.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

"Akuvikate" > wrote in message
ups.com...
> Most hospitals check on most patients' vital signs (heart rate,
> temperature, blood pressure) every 4 hours. I have mixed feelings
> about it. On the one hand people really need their sleep. On the
> other hand it sure would be a bummer to have someone start going into
> septic shock in the middle of the night and not notice that her blood
> pressure was dropping until 6 hours later. For the Bug's first days my
> sleep schedule had little to do with day or night. The nurses were as
> likely to wake me up at 4pm as they were to wake me up at 4am, so I
> didn't mind. Actually I only slept 8 hours for the first 4 days so I
> was probably awake anyway.

But how common is it to go into septic shock pp? It isn't a risk factor I've
ever heard mentioned in association with home birth. I also have to wonder
about the effect of lack of sleep on initiating breastfeeding - I know
babies wake often, and mothers are designed to survive on little sleep early
on, but being woken when you _do_ finally get the chance for sleep?
Here if you had a sign letting the staff know you were sleeping, you
wouldn't be woken due to regular rounds, regardless of the hour of day. They
just did that sort of thing while people were awake.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Cuddlefish]

Mum of Two wrote:

> Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!
>

Mine changed all 4 of the meconium nappies. Ugh!

Jacqueline

[Amy]

Cocoamum wrote:
> Mum of Two skrev:
>
> > Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!
>
> I had a c-sections. With my first DH was at the hospital more or less
> all day. When DD was to have her first bath I hadn't seen her naked yet
> (day two). The nurse taught os how to bathe her, and I was so clumsy
> taking her clothes off that DH said: Wouldn't you rather have me do it?
>
> He's just the best. He never tried to skip any of the work. He even took
> the kids to the doctor because I hated to handle the vaccinations.

Except for the c-sections, I could've written this. In fact, the day
DD was born, I had to kick DH out of the hospital at midnight when he
was literally falling asleep on his feet. I didn't think it was
possible, but he was standing there against the wall, snoring! He gave
her the first bath, I was being cleaned up and moved from the delivery
room to the recovery room. He volunteered to do the shots, but I
decided to go with him, because I figure I'll have to see her get a
shot eventually, might as well get used to it... But even at the
doctor's office, he tried to talk me into waiting in the lobby (I
didn't). I think I changed two diapers in her first 5 days of life. I
had to ask him for help, I didn't know what I was doing! :)

> The downside: I don't just get to decide what's best for my kids. His
> opinion is as valid as mine - he's had just as much to do with them as
> I.

It's the same way in our house, and it's wonderful that he's equally
involved, until we disagree. Then there's no good way of deciding. It
can make things pretty tough, and I've had to learn to say, "What do
you think about..." instead of saying, "I'm going to do this with
her..." Fortunately we had a lot of conversations before we had her,
and we basically agree on most of the big things, but the circ*&cision
debate was HUGE in this house - we ended up seeing a counselor to help
sort it out. A few other major things have been difficult, especially
when there's no possible compromise. But we're getting better at it,
we just had a few growing pains at first.

> And the second: He vetoed some foodstuff while I was nursing. I was
> giving his child milk and he simple didn't wanted me to eat this and
> that while nursing.

Really? What kind of things did he veto? I can't think of anything
(aside from alcohol, and maybe sushi due to possible contamination)
that someone would object to...

Amy

[Amy]

Mum of Two wrote:

> But how common is it to go into septic shock pp? It isn't a risk factor I've
> ever heard mentioned in association with home birth.

I'd imagine that sepsis would be more common in hospitals, because
there are more foreign bacteria in the hospital than you'd come in
contact with at home.

> I also have to wonder
> about the effect of lack of sleep on initiating breastfeeding - I know
> babies wake often, and mothers are designed to survive on little sleep early
> on, but being woken when you _do_ finally get the chance for sleep?

I didn't sleep much in the hospital. They came in at 5 am to get my
blood pressure and stuff. They kept coming in after that, too, to take
blood at 6 (they didn't get a chance before delivery because it was so
fast), to bring breakfast at 7, and they also woke me up to feed her
every two hours. That, combined with the fact that she slept in the
bed with me, and I wasn't used to that yet, made for two very restless
nights.

I had PIH, though, so they may have monitored me more closely than they
normally do. But my dad (a nurse) says it's a rule that they get
vitals at shift change. Something about paperwork...

Then, of course, we had visitors all day, so I didn't sleep during the
day either. By the time we got home, I was a mess. The first night
here was a disaster. She cried and cried. I cried and cried. My mom
and my DH cried and cried. They finally sent me upstairs to try to
sleep when she was calm, and I stayed up there for 10 minutes, but I
could hear her crying in my head (even though she wasn't) and I had to
be where I could hear her, so I knew if it was really her or if it was
in my head. Oh, we were a mess. It got steadily better from there,
but the first week or so was pretty intense. I remember saying, "How
do they expect anyone to do this on no sleep?!"

> Here if you had a sign letting the staff know you were sleeping, you
> wouldn't be woken due to regular rounds, regardless of the hour of day. They
> just did that sort of thing while people were awake.

Boy, would that be nice. It takes me forever to fall asleep, and I
remember feeling like just as I was drifting off, they'd come in and
mess with me... Thank God for adrenaline, or we wouldn't have
survived. :)

Amy

[Sue]

"Amy" > wrote in message
> I had PIH, though, so they may have monitored me more closely than they
> normally do. But my dad (a nurse) says it's a rule that they get
> vitals at shift change. Something about paperwork...

Yep, they have to make sure that everyone at shift change is doing well and
no problems have come up (who worked in the hospital for many many years).
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Cocoamum]

Amy skrev:
>
> Really? What kind of things did he veto? I can't think of anything
> (aside from alcohol, and maybe sushi due to possible contamination)
> that someone would object to...

Sunflower seeds. He didn't have to veto alcohol - I wouldn't have drunk any.

Tine, Denmark

[[email protected]]

Mum of Two > writes:

: Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!

Oh, please! I think it just comes with the territory.

Larry

[Marie]

On 18 Nov 2005 10:05:42 -0700, wrote:
>Oh, please! I think it just comes with the territory.
>
>Larry

Mine changed newborn diapers, and that was it. No nighttime company,
no housework or cooking help. The kids were more help than dh when I
had my third baby.
Marie

[[email protected]]

Ok, I'll ask (as I've been munching sunflower seeds the last week)...
why sunflower seeds? I have a paper that says during pregnancy they're
a good source of protein.

Cristi :]

[Mum of Two]

"Cocoamum" > wrote in message
...
> Mum of Two skrev:
>
>> Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!
>
> I had a c-sections. With my first DH was at the hospital more or less all
> day. When DD was to have her first bath I hadn't seen her naked yet (day
> two). The nurse taught os how to bathe her, and I was so clumsy taking her
> clothes off that DH said: Wouldn't you rather have me do it?
>
> He's just the best. He never tried to skip any of the work. He even took
> the kids to the doctor because I hated to handle the vaccinations.

What a great DH you have!

> The downside: I don't just get to decide what's best for my kids. His
> opinion is as valid as mine - he's had just as much to do with them as I.
> And the second: He vetoed some foodstuff while I was nursing. I was giving
> his child milk and he simple didn't wanted me to eat this and that while
> nursing.

That's a big trade-off, though. I think I'd have got pretty cranky
especially early on if someone had been telling me what I could and couldn't
eat. DH is very hands on now that DD is older and not so 'fragile'. He does
leave things like her diet up to me though, and trusts my judgement which
makes it easier. Sometimes I wish he didn't trust my judgement so
completely - i.e., when I'm not sure I trust it myself - but you can't have
it both ways I guess.

Truly, if there is one thing I would change about DH, it probably wouldn't
be the lack of newborn nappy changing, that's just something I rib him
about. I really wish he would be more safety conscious. I don't know how
many times I've had to tell him to not leave toothpaste or cleaning
chemicals on the edge of the bathroom vanity, or not to leave the iron on
the ironing board, or to tuck the DVD cables away after use, or to be
watching and within catching distance when DD is near the back steps (with
only a handrail and over concrete). Small objects are the least of my
worries. OTOH, I think I've found the trigger for my stress eczema! :-/


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

"PattyMomVA" > wrote in message
...
> "Mum of Two" wrote
>> "PattyMomVA" wrote
>>>
>>> After my deliveries, both vaginal, one unmedicated, I only got out of
>>> bed to use the toilet (private, in the room). Rooming-in included DH,
>>> and he changed all the diapers and brought the baby to me to feed, or
>>> got me snacks, etc. Come to think of it, being in the hospital made me
>>> feel like a "patient". I almost wish I had been motivated to be more
>>> mobile, but I think I was also exhausted.
>>
>> Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!
>
> You think that's all there is to it??!!! :-)
>
> But, no, I've never even *seen* meconium.

I think it's because I assumed that if they are that hands-on in the early
days - and let's face it, newborns are scary, frail-looking little beings to
the first-time parent - they would continue to be useful and build on their
parenting skills and involvement. But Marie just proved I was talking out my
a$$.

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Mum of Two]

"Amy" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Mum of Two wrote:
>
>> But how common is it to go into septic shock pp? It isn't a risk factor
>> I've
>> ever heard mentioned in association with home birth.
>
> I'd imagine that sepsis would be more common in hospitals, because
> there are more foreign bacteria in the hospital than you'd come in
> contact with at home.

Well that makes sense.

>> I also have to wonder
>> about the effect of lack of sleep on initiating breastfeeding - I know
>> babies wake often, and mothers are designed to survive on little sleep
>> early
>> on, but being woken when you _do_ finally get the chance for sleep?
>
> I didn't sleep much in the hospital. They came in at 5 am to get my
> blood pressure and stuff. They kept coming in after that, too, to take
> blood at 6 (they didn't get a chance before delivery because it was so
> fast), to bring breakfast at 7, and they also woke me up to feed her
> every two hours. That, combined with the fact that she slept in the
> bed with me, and I wasn't used to that yet, made for two very restless
> nights.
>
> I had PIH, though, so they may have monitored me more closely than they
> normally do. But my dad (a nurse) says it's a rule that they get
> vitals at shift change. Something about paperwork...

I'm sure the PIH made a difference, though.

> Then, of course, we had visitors all day, so I didn't sleep during the
> day either. By the time we got home, I was a mess. The first night
> here was a disaster. She cried and cried. I cried and cried. My mom
> and my DH cried and cried. They finally sent me upstairs to try to
> sleep when she was calm, and I stayed up there for 10 minutes, but I
> could hear her crying in my head (even though she wasn't) and I had to
> be where I could hear her, so I knew if it was really her or if it was
> in my head. Oh, we were a mess. It got steadily better from there,
> but the first week or so was pretty intense. I remember saying, "How
> do they expect anyone to do this on no sleep?!"

I was in tears on my second night, because I believed that by being unable
to feed DD constantly with my cracked and bleeding nipples and with no
sleep, I had already failed the big parenting test and screwed up my kid.

>> Here if you had a sign letting the staff know you were sleeping, you
>> wouldn't be woken due to regular rounds, regardless of the hour of day.
>> They
>> just did that sort of thing while people were awake.
>
> Boy, would that be nice. It takes me forever to fall asleep, and I
> remember feeling like just as I was drifting off, they'd come in and
> mess with me...

I think they probably did it differently here for mothers with PIH though. I
was just a regular, vaginal delivery. Plus anyone who is past pre-school and
wakes me from a deep sleep gets told to 'stuff off' and a reflexive blow to
the head, so that might have been a deterrant (just ask DH!).

Thank God for adrenaline, or we wouldn't have
> survived. :)

You're not kidding there!


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

[Donna Metler]

PIH absolutely would make a difference. I know in my case, it took several
days after delivery before my BP stopped spiking and really settled down,
and some of my worst symptoms the second time were actually after delivery.

I'm wracking my brain, and I don't think I got up for the 24-48 hours
following delivery in both my pregnancies, but in both cases I was still on
really heavy meds and I don't think I could have moved! I also know I was on
automatic monitoring for blood pressure as well. However, I was also using a
ALP machine while on bedrest and for the first few days afterwards, which is
designed to help prevent leg clots.

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Kindermusik
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)

[Anne Rogers]

>>
>> He's just the best. He never tried to skip any of the work. He even took
>> the kids to the doctor because I hated to handle the vaccinations.
>
> What a great DH you have!

my DH is similar to be honest, I would say even now he changes more than
half the nappies, first time around, after he went back to work, I did
everything, but when I started to get unwell, he would let me wake him in
the night to do the nappies and then pass DS to me to feed, which really
helped, he would sleep through and I would feel very lonely. This time he
has looked after all of us admirably, without him we would not have coped at
all, this birth has left me quite incapacitated, yet I have not become
depressed, all down to the support of DH.

Anne

[Anne Rogers]

> OMG. You obviously don't have a public health system. In Auckland, they
> ran out of maternity beds and made one guy drive his wife either home or
> to another hospital in his car four hours after she delivered. I
> understand wanting to be home the same day, but that was just cruel IMO.

we are a public health system, I was absolutely shocked the way as soon as
they saw PND on my notes that suddenly all the rules changed, to the extent
that they compromised me and my baby's physical health for supposedly
protecting my mental health, which according to my psychiatrist is
completely misguided anyway. I think they wanted me in hospital to cover
there own backs, nothing at all to do with what was best for me in the long
term. Obviously there are many factors that have kept me well this time, one
of them being already being on medication as a preventative measure, but
going home and introducing Ada to Nathanael, then snuggling in bed with DH
was a pretty big one too.

Thankfully we don't want another child soon, but we're already thinking
about saving our pennies, not because of the costs a third child would cost,
but to pay for maternity care, my midwife was excellent, but the system here
meant that as soon as I it looked like I wasn't going to manage a home
birth, she was out of the system, whereas had it been her in discussion with
the drs, she would have been supportive of c-section or at least inducing a
week before we actually tried but stopped and the Ada came of her own accord
and fast discharge, as she was responsible for my care postnatally and again
was excellent.

Anne

[PattyMomVA]

"Mum of Two" > wrote in message
...
> "PattyMomVA" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Mum of Two" wrote
>>> "PattyMomVA" wrote
>>>>
>>>> After my deliveries, both vaginal, one unmedicated, I only got out of
>>>> bed to use the toilet (private, in the room). Rooming-in included DH,
>>>> and he changed all the diapers and brought the baby to me to feed, or
>>>> got me snacks, etc. Come to think of it, being in the hospital made me
>>>> feel like a "patient". I almost wish I had been motivated to be more
>>>> mobile, but I think I was also exhausted.
>>>
>>> Your DH changed newborn nappies? He deserves deity status!
>>
>> You think that's all there is to it??!!! :-)
>>
>> But, no, I've never even *seen* meconium.
>
> I think it's because I assumed that if they are that hands-on in the early
> days - and let's face it, newborns are scary, frail-looking little beings
> to the first-time parent - they would continue to be useful and build on
> their parenting skills and involvement. But Marie just proved I was
> talking out my a$$.

Sorry, not true with my DH either. He's very good at stepping in when I'm
not 100%, such as after delivery. But, most of the time, he figures I'm
capable of handling it all. :-(

-Patty, mom of 1+2

[PattyMomVA]

"Amy" > wrote and I snipped:
>
> I didn't sleep much in the hospital.
>
> By the time we got home, I was a mess. The first night
> here was a disaster. She cried and cried. I cried and cried. My mom
> and my DH cried and cried. They finally sent me upstairs to try to
> sleep when she was calm, and I stayed up there for 10 minutes, but I
> could hear her crying in my head (even though she wasn't) and I had to
> be where I could hear her, so I knew if it was really her or if it was
> in my head. Oh, we were a mess. It got steadily better from there,
> but the first week or so was pretty intense. I remember saying, "How
> do they expect anyone to do this on no sleep?!"
>
>> Here if you had a sign letting the staff know you were sleeping, you
>> wouldn't be woken due to regular rounds, regardless of the hour of day.
>> They
>> just did that sort of thing while people were awake.
>
> Boy, would that be nice. It takes me forever to fall asleep, and I
> remember feeling like just as I was drifting off, they'd come in and
> mess with me... Thank God for adrenaline, or we wouldn't have
> survived. :)

Your description brings back such memories after the birth of my first.
(Not all good....) The sleep deprivation was one of the several factors in
bringing on mild PPD. This is the kind of experience you rarely hear about
before having a baby. I don't know whether moms don't share or it doesn't
register.

Hang in there,
-Patty, mom of 1+2