When was the first time you left your baby with a sitter?

[Emily]

We're taking a trip to CA soon to visit friends there.
We'll be staying with a family with two girls, ages
3.5 and 1. My kids are 3.5 and (then) 3 months old.
We four adults are planning to go into SF (about 1 hour
from the family's house) to see a Billy Crystal show
that looks great. We plan to hire two sitters, a
husband and wife pair, who are both childcare providers
as their day job. (He used to work with infants, now
works with toddlers, she works with preschoolers.)

I've been away from DS2 a few times now, but he's
always been with family (DH or a grandparent) and
I've never been more than 15 minutes away.

Deciding to go ahead with this plan wasn't easy, but
the show sounds really good, as does an adults-night-out.
Things that make it seem not too terrible to me are:

1. The sitters are professional childcare providers.
2. DS2 is generally easy-going, not overly mommy-attached,
happy to be held by other people, and happy to take
EBM in a bottle.
3. If all goes well, DS2 will be asleep most of the
time I'm away anyway.
4. DS2 often falls asleep by means other than nursing.

He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this.
How old were your babies the first time you left
them with non-family?

--
Emily
DS1 5/02
DS2 9/05 <- sung to sleep by DH tonight

[KC]

How old were your babies the first time you left
them with non-family?

Lol, I am an extreme case as my only child (I have 3) who has been
cared for by non-family is my 5 year old when she started kindergarten
this fall. I think I may have babysitters for a trip next summer with
friends though. My friend and I will both bring a babysitter, and they
will both watch all the kids. I feel better with 2 that don't know
each other, so they will be on their best behavior.

KC

[Sue]

"Emily" > wrote in message
> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this.
> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?

Let's see, nonfamily,

For DD1, it was probably not until she was 2 years old.
For DD2, it was probably when she was 3 months old.
For DD3, I can't remember.

I had family around, so they were left with family much earlier than I did
with hired sitters.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Beth Kevles]

HI --

Mine were 4 months old (ds#1) and 6 weeks old (ds#2). I also remember
BEING the first sitter for a baby when *I* was 12 and the baby was 6
weeks.

How long will you be apart from the baby on that trip? Can you go that
long without nursing? Or will you bring stuff with you to pump during
or right after the concert? (I'm not sure how long the concert is, but
you've got two hours of commuting to add for the round-trip.)

Have a GREAT time.

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

[NBennett]

5 weeks.
As a single parent I knew that I would need babysitters
if I expected balance in my life. I needed to train myself
to relax as much as I needed to train her to be with people.
I left her with my next door neighbour who was a stay at
home dad with his own 2 yr old and 5 month old, for 1 1/2
hrs while I went swimming. I did this once a week for the
next few months.
nancy

"Emily" > wrote in message
...
> We're taking a trip to CA soon to visit friends there.
> We'll be staying with a family with two girls, ages
> 3.5 and 1. My kids are 3.5 and (then) 3 months old.
> We four adults are planning to go into SF (about 1 hour
> from the family's house) to see a Billy Crystal show
> that looks great. We plan to hire two sitters, a
> husband and wife pair, who are both childcare providers
> as their day job. (He used to work with infants, now
> works with toddlers, she works with preschoolers.)
>
> I've been away from DS2 a few times now, but he's
> always been with family (DH or a grandparent) and
> I've never been more than 15 minutes away.
>
> Deciding to go ahead with this plan wasn't easy, but
> the show sounds really good, as does an adults-night-out.
> Things that make it seem not too terrible to me are:
>
> 1. The sitters are professional childcare providers.
> 2. DS2 is generally easy-going, not overly mommy-attached,
> happy to be held by other people, and happy to take
> EBM in a bottle.
> 3. If all goes well, DS2 will be asleep most of the
> time I'm away anyway.
> 4. DS2 often falls asleep by means other than nursing.
>
> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this.
> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?
>
> --
> Emily
> DS1 5/02
> DS2 9/05 <- sung to sleep by DH tonight

[[email protected]]

Emily wrote:

> Things that make it seem not too terrible to me are:
>
> 1. The sitters are professional childcare providers.
> 2. DS2 is generally easy-going, not overly mommy-attached,
> happy to be held by other people, and happy to take
> EBM in a bottle.
> 3. If all goes well, DS2 will be asleep most of the
> time I'm away anyway.
> 4. DS2 often falls asleep by means other than nursing.
>
> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this.
> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?

I haven't yet -- but items 2, 3, and 4 did not apply to mine when he
was an infant and do not apply now. :-) I hardly ever leave him with
anyone other than DH, and the three or four times I have, he stayed
with a grandma. These days it's partly because we don't have time to
go anywhere -- particularly not this semester.

--
C, mama to three year old nursling

[Emily]

Beth Kevles wrote:
> How long will you be apart from the baby on that trip? Can you go that
> long without nursing? Or will you bring stuff with you to pump during
> or right after the concert? (I'm not sure how long the concert is, but
> you've got two hours of commuting to add for the round-trip.)

I'll have to look into the running time of the show, but if it's
three hours, then the whole thing will be say six hours max. DS
sometimes sleeps that long at a stretch, so I'm not too worried
about getting engorged/plugged ducts --- unless I get back and
he's in the middle of sleeping for six hours! It probably wouldn't
hurt to stash the pump in the car in case I get desperate.

>
> Have a GREAT time.

Thanks :)

Emily

[Emily]

KC wrote:
> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?
>
> Lol, I am an extreme case as my only child (I have 3) who has been
> cared for by non-family is my 5 year old when she started kindergarten
> this fall. I think I may have babysitters for a trip next summer with
> friends though. My friend and I will both bring a babysitter, and they
> will both watch all the kids. I feel better with 2 that don't know
> each other, so they will be on their best behavior.

Wow --- that's impressive. Do you have much family near by?

(We now have an abundance of grandparents in the area,
which is wonderful.)

Emily

[JJ]

We left DD with a professional sitter for the first time when she was 3
months old. It was a little tough for me, but DD was fine. In
retrospect, I should have done it sooner- DD had colic, and I would
have been much saner with some breaks. Have fun!
JJ

[Nikki]

Emily wrote:

> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?

3 months when I went back to work.


--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
EDD 4/06

[Emily]

Nikki wrote:
> Emily wrote:
>
>
>>How old were your babies the first time you left
>>them with non-family?
>
>
> 3 months when I went back to work.
>
>

DS1 was 4.5 months when I went back to work (parttime).
That was pretty hard too, but at least he was very
close to me (staying with the wife of a grad student,
who lived on campus). And it seemed less frivolous :)
But, I'm looking forward to this, and I'm confident
that DS2 will do fine (as will DS1!).

When I go back to work in January, DH will be on leave
for two months. After that, DS2 will be at the same
daycare center where DS1 goes, but only three days
a week until he's 1.

--
Emily
DS1 5/02
DS2 9/05


Emily

[Emily]

JJ wrote:
> We left DD with a professional sitter for the first time when she was 3
> months old. It was a little tough for me, but DD was fine. In
> retrospect, I should have done it sooner- DD had colic, and I would
> have been much saner with some breaks. Have fun!

We're lucky in that DS2 doesn't have colic, but it will
still be nice to have an adults-only night out --- esp.
after traveling with both kids in tow for a week!

Emily

[Melania]

Emily wrote:
> We're taking a trip to CA soon to visit friends there.
> We'll be staying with a family with two girls, ages
> 3.5 and 1. My kids are 3.5 and (then) 3 months old.
> We four adults are planning to go into SF (about 1 hour
> from the family's house) to see a Billy Crystal show
> that looks great. We plan to hire two sitters, a
> husband and wife pair, who are both childcare providers
> as their day job. (He used to work with infants, now
> works with toddlers, she works with preschoolers.)
>
> I've been away from DS2 a few times now, but he's
> always been with family (DH or a grandparent) and
> I've never been more than 15 minutes away.
>
> Deciding to go ahead with this plan wasn't easy, but
> the show sounds really good, as does an adults-night-out.
> Things that make it seem not too terrible to me are:
>
> 1. The sitters are professional childcare providers.
> 2. DS2 is generally easy-going, not overly mommy-attached,
> happy to be held by other people, and happy to take
> EBM in a bottle.
> 3. If all goes well, DS2 will be asleep most of the
> time I'm away anyway.
> 4. DS2 often falls asleep by means other than nursing.
>
> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this.
> How old were your babies the first time you left
> them with non-family?
>
> --
> Emily
> DS1 5/02
> DS2 9/05 <- sung to sleep by DH tonight

DS#1 was ~5 mo. We were staying at a very fancy resort for a conference
of DH's, and there was a banquet and dance. We hired a sitter through
the hotel, and went for about 4 hours total - I went back to the room
halfway through to nurse.

I've left DS#2 for the length of a movie or a dinner out with
friends/neighbours/sitters-we-know-well since he was quite a small
baby, until the bottle rejection happened. Now that he's on solids and
sipping from a cup, we can go out for more than 2 hours again! It's
harder for DS#1 to be left with a sitter, since at 34 mo he can get
really clingy when we leave, even if we're leaving him with a favorite
relative or friend. I am not comfortable hiring someone he doesn't know
well to sit, only because of his personal comfort level.

Honestly, it sounds like you have things well thought out and planned,
and your DS#2 is a good candidate for this sit!! Enjoy your show!

Melania

[Donna Metler]

My daughter started going to mothers day out one morning a week at 9 months.
Before that, I'd had a mother's helper who cared for her on-site while I
taught my class. She also went to the church nursery starting at about 6
months when she stopped sleeping through services. We have had a total of
one "date" (when my parents were in town and were willing to stay with her)
since she was born.

I told my husband that what I want most for Christmas is a weekend
off-preferably WITH him, but I don't think it's going to happen.

Sigh...there are definite disadvantages to living away from extended family!

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Kindermusik
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)

[Emily]

Donna Metler wrote:
> My daughter started going to mothers day out one morning a week at 9 months.
> Before that, I'd had a mother's helper who cared for her on-site while I
> taught my class. She also went to the church nursery starting at about 6
> months when she stopped sleeping through services. We have had a total of
> one "date" (when my parents were in town and were willing to stay with her)
> since she was born.
>
> I told my husband that what I want most for Christmas is a weekend
> off-preferably WITH him, but I don't think it's going to happen.
>
> Sigh...there are definite disadvantages to living away from extended family!
>

:( A weekend away might be hard w/o extended family in the area,
but maybe you could arrange a couple of dates? At least one
extravagant one (symphony, ballet, etc, whatever you like)?

When I was pg with DS2, my mom took DS1 for two nights while DH and
I took a vacation in our own city. Stayed at a really nice hotel,
etc, and our transportation costs were all of $3 for the city bus
(round trip)! Previously, she'd taken him for one night while we
went to a hotel to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I think
DS1 was 2yo by then, and not nursing anymore. We're looking forward
to being able to do another little vacation like that, but it'll
be at least a year, probably more, before DS2 is ready. Meantime,
mom takes DS1 sometimes overnight and we get relative quiet around
here!

Emily

[Emily]

Melania wrote:
> Honestly, it sounds like you have things well thought out and planned,
> and your DS#2 is a good candidate for this sit!! Enjoy your show!

Thanks. I rather suspect it might be easier now in many ways
than when he's a few months older and perhaps shows more stranger
anxiety...

Emily

[Nikki]

Emily wrote:

> But, I'm looking forward to this, and I'm confident
> that DS2 will do fine (as will DS1!).

I was sort of in a hurry the first post but I wouldn't worry at all about
your plans. Enjoy :-D.

--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Thing One and Thing Two :-) EDD 4/06

[KC]

Emily wrote:
> KC wrote:
> > How old were your babies the first time you left
> > them with non-family?
> >
> > Lol, I am an extreme case as my only child (I have 3) who has been
> > cared for by non-family is my 5 year old when she started kindergarten
> > this fall. I think I may have babysitters for a trip next summer with
> > friends though. My friend and I will both bring a babysitter, and they
> > will both watch all the kids. I feel better with 2 that don't know
> > each other, so they will be on their best behavior.
>
> Wow --- that's impressive. Do you have much family near by?
>
> (We now have an abundance of grandparents in the area,
> which is wonderful.)
>

When my first was little we lived only a few blocks from grandparents,
and that was nice, but for the last 3 years we haven't lived near any
family. The grandparents have taken my 2 older kids for some fun days
and some overnights, but I mostly just haven't had a babysitter for the
last 3 years.

Oh, I did forget that I had a babysitter watch my 2 oldest for an hour
at the hospital while we waited for grandma to get there when I was in
labor with my 3rd, but we could still see them through the window (I
was laboring in the car). That was 7 months ago, so I accidentally
lied about having nobody till school, oops. Must be my tired brain
failing me!

KC

[Anne Rogers]

64 hrs old, think I'm mad? yes I probably was, I wanted to spend time with
my toddler, we'd hired a postnatal doula and I made use of her, we went out
for half an hour whilst Ada was sleeping. Other than her I think the first
time was probably around 3 months when I left her in creche next door to a
room where I was talking a course, they brought her out for me to feed her.
As for going any distance, that would be about 5 months, but when she was
asleep for the night.

Anne

[Sidheag McCormack]

Emily writes:

> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this. How old were
> your babies the first time you left them with non-family?

I was about to say "haven't yet" and then thought, what am I saying, he's
been at nursery full-time since 10.5 months! What I meant was that we
haven't yet left DS, who is 2y1m, to be put to bed by someone other than
family, and I think we won't for a while. (Though a lot of that is because
we feel no real need to, rather than because we think it would be
dreadful.) Apart from when he goes to nursery, I can think of only two
occasions when I've left him with non-family; same person each time, a
friend whom he knows, and he was asleep both times. I'm sure he'd be fine
left to other people more, and I'm actually quite surprised to think about
it and realise it hasn't happened!

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003

[Linz]

Sidheag McCormack wrote:
> Emily writes:
>
>> He'll be just over 3 months (13.5 weeks) when we do this. How old
>> were your babies the first time you left them with non-family?
>
> I was about to say "haven't yet" and then thought, what am I saying,
> he's been at nursery full-time since 10.5 months! What I meant was
> that we haven't yet left DS, who is 2y1m, to be put to bed by someone
> other than family, and I think we won't for a while. (Though a lot of
> that is because we feel no real need to, rather than because we think
> it would be dreadful.) Apart from when he goes to nursery, I can
> think of only two occasions when I've left him with non-family; same
> person each time, a friend whom he knows, and he was asleep both
> times. I'm sure he'd be fine left to other people more, and I'm
> actually quite surprised to think about it and realise it hasn't
> happened!

And once again, You're Me, You Are...

[Emily]

Anne Rogers wrote:
> 64 hrs old, think I'm mad? yes I probably was, I wanted to spend time with
> my toddler, we'd hired a postnatal doula and I made use of her, we went out
> for half an hour whilst Ada was sleeping. Other than her I think the first
> time was probably around 3 months when I left her in creche next door to a
> room where I was talking a course, they brought her out for me to feed her.
> As for going any distance, that would be about 5 months, but when she was
> asleep for the night.

I don't think it's crazy to go out for 30 minutes while your
newborn is sleeping. It doesn't sound like you were far away!
And I'm sure your DS was really happy for the mommy time after
you'd been in the hospital for a few days.

Emily

[Emily]

Sidheag McCormack wrote:
> I was about to say "haven't yet" and then thought, what am I saying, he's
> been at nursery full-time since 10.5 months! What I meant was that we
> haven't yet left DS, who is 2y1m, to be put to bed by someone other than
> family, and I think we won't for a while. (Though a lot of that is because
> we feel no real need to, rather than because we think it would be
> dreadful.) Apart from when he goes to nursery, I can think of only two
> occasions when I've left him with non-family; same person each time, a
> friend whom he knows, and he was asleep both times. I'm sure he'd be fine
> left to other people more, and I'm actually quite surprised to think about
> it and realise it hasn't happened!

Funny how weekday childcare seems different from evenings out,
isn't it?

Turns out we weren't able to get tickets for the Billy Crystal
show, but we're talking about still having an adults-only evening
out, dinner and a movie or some such. It's too bad about the
Billy Crystal show, but on the upside, we won't have to travel
so far for a movie.

Emily
--
DS1 5/02
DS2 9/05

[[email protected]]

Anne Rogers wrote:
> 64 hrs old, think I'm mad? yes I probably was, I wanted to spend time with
> my toddler, we'd hired a postnatal doula and I made use of her, we went out
> for half an hour whilst Ada was sleeping.

I would totally do that. Hopefully my next baby will do me the favor
of sleeping for half an hour out of body contact, at some point before
turning two. :-)

--
C, mama to three year old nursling