Anyone had episiotomy problems?

[Meli]

I gave birth March 2004 and still am having problems. I went to several
doctors in the Mayo System (where I gave birth unfortunately) and was
treated by being laughed at, ignored, silence, and then covered up.

I had a mid wife, Mary Murry, who was too busy and at the end of her
shift to help during labor (thus she suggested drugs and requested a
forceps delivery), and when I went in for 6-8 appiontment and told her
of the problems, she just laughed and left me in the room with a
student to do the examination. Then I went in to my primary physician,
and she didn't say much. Then I went to a colorectal doctor (I
requested a female doctor but said one wasn't available) and that old
man just said that he never heard of something like that and dimissed
me quickly without listening. Then I went to the gynecology department
and requested a female doctor again, but got an old male doctor who
talked for a lengthly amount of time about possible problems that can
happen. Then he asked me to tell him what I thought was wrong.

I told him I was experiencing dysparunia (painful intercourse) and
rectal fissures (that tear, bleed, and cause pain during bowel
movements). I thought it was related to my episiotomy. I told him ---
The person who did my episiotomy repair (a resident) was doing the
procedure, she said "Uh oh. I don't like that. I'm going to start
over." Then my attending midwife said, "Well, we want YOU to like it.
Ha ha ha."

Well, he brought up the record of what the midwife dictated for the
birth, and he said that it looked like a normal birth. He went on with
another lengthy description about other problems and solutions and
surgeries but never addressed the fact that an inexperienced resident
admitted making a mistake while doing a procedure. It seemed like he
didn't want me talking about it, nor did he ever talk about it.

I had a right episiotomy. 2nd degree tear. Not big at all (that last
doctor said). He never commented on the repair.

Since he didn't listen to me, when he said "Okay now, hop up on the
table and let's take a look." I declined. He wasn't listening and
didn't acknowlege my concerns.

Its been over two years. My dysparunia decreased after 18 months
post-partum (that's a year and a half with not much sex. That upset and
upsets me so much (I'm crying now.) I could go on and on about that,
but I digress). The rectal fissure bleeding is not everyday now. That
was soooo painful and disrupting to just everyday life things. That
upsets me more than the no sex but that also effect having sex. When
your anus is tore and bleeding and hurts, it is about the same as
having dysparunia. I have bleeding about every three to four weeks.

I still think my problems are due to my episiotomy repair. I used to
have a labia majora on my right side. Now I don't. Where did that extra
tissue go? I think it was the epsiotomy repair by the resident. That
extra tissue must have been there for a reason. With no extra tissue -
tearing with bowel movements and pain during intercourse.

I don't know what to do. I'm still up at nights crying about it. Wait
until I have another baby and see if things stretch out? Go back and
be humiliated and laughed at more with more bills to add to the
humiliation. Get a lawyer?

I've been praying about it. I've even prayed for God to curse them for
my revenge when I was so angry at the midwife for laughing and ignoring
my concerns and others for not listening or addressing my problems. But
now I pray not for revenge, but for healing. God's revenge is aweful.
I've prayed for God's revenge twice before about other things, and I
just found out the results were terrible for those people. I was sorry
I prayed for such things. I try to pray for God's grace now. God's
revenge is much too terrible when it happens.

[Anne Rogers]

go to a different doctor, find someone who is recommended in your area, just
go in and be honest with them, don't tell them what you thinking is
happening, just give them the facts, like the date of birth, the type of
episistomy etc. Then tell them how much of a problem this is for you and see
what happens.

It is normal for episiostomies to cause longish term problems, but mainly
just because a wound in that area can be slow to heal. Even if this was just
the problem, then they should be reassuring, not humiliate you. The fact
they humiliated you is what really makes me thing you have to go somewhere
else.

Sorry you are going through this, I know how much of a problem lack of
intercourse can be, for different reasons, bad luck rather than anything
going wrong I'm still not able to have pain free intercourse a year after
the birth and we're both finding it hard.

Anne

[PK]

Meli wrote:
> I gave birth March 2004 and still am having problems. I went to several
> doctors in the Mayo System (where I gave birth unfortunately) and was
> treated by being laughed at, ignored, silence, and then covered up.
>
> I had a mid wife, Mary Murry, who was too busy and at the end of her
> shift to help during labor (thus she suggested drugs and requested a
> forceps delivery), and when I went in for 6-8 appiontment and told her
> of the problems, she just laughed and left me in the room with a
> student to do the examination. Then I went in to my primary physician,
> and she didn't say much. Then I went to a colorectal doctor (I
> requested a female doctor but said one wasn't available) and that old
> man just said that he never heard of something like that and dimissed
> me quickly without listening. Then I went to the gynecology department
> and requested a female doctor again, but got an old male doctor who
> talked for a lengthly amount of time about possible problems that can
> happen. Then he asked me to tell him what I thought was wrong.
>
> I told him I was experiencing dysparunia (painful intercourse) and
> rectal fissures (that tear, bleed, and cause pain during bowel
> movements). I thought it was related to my episiotomy. I told him ---
> The person who did my episiotomy repair (a resident) was doing the
> procedure, she said "Uh oh. I don't like that. I'm going to start
> over." Then my attending midwife said, "Well, we want YOU to like it.
> Ha ha ha."
>
> Well, he brought up the record of what the midwife dictated for the
> birth, and he said that it looked like a normal birth. He went on with
> another lengthy description about other problems and solutions and
> surgeries but never addressed the fact that an inexperienced resident
> admitted making a mistake while doing a procedure. It seemed like he
> didn't want me talking about it, nor did he ever talk about it.
>
> I had a right episiotomy. 2nd degree tear. Not big at all (that last
> doctor said). He never commented on the repair.
>
> Since he didn't listen to me, when he said "Okay now, hop up on the
> table and let's take a look." I declined. He wasn't listening and
> didn't acknowlege my concerns.
>
> Its been over two years. My dysparunia decreased after 18 months
> post-partum (that's a year and a half with not much sex. That upset and
> upsets me so much (I'm crying now.) I could go on and on about that,
> but I digress). The rectal fissure bleeding is not everyday now. That
> was soooo painful and disrupting to just everyday life things. That
> upsets me more than the no sex but that also effect having sex. When
> your anus is tore and bleeding and hurts, it is about the same as
> having dysparunia. I have bleeding about every three to four weeks.
>

I am really sorry for all the issues you are having. I can't comment on
the rest of the issues, but pain during sex is fairly common
escpecially post partum and if you are breastfeeding. Using a lubricant
usually helps.
I'm not sure this would help in your case though, since you seem to
have a lot more damage.

> I still think my problems are due to my episiotomy repair. I used to
> have a labia majora on my right side. Now I don't. Where did that extra
> tissue go? I think it was the epsiotomy repair by the resident. That
> extra tissue must have been there for a reason. With no extra tissue -
> tearing with bowel movements and pain during intercourse.
>
<snip>
Yikes, get a new doctor if possible. One that is sympathetic from the
get go. And if you feel you are being made fun of, speak up and say so.
If nothing else, it will at least make your care givers aware of the
effects of their action.

PK.

[Leslie]

I would find another doctor, but I would also find a lawyer. If
surgical repair is involved, you're going to need those responsible to
pay for it.

Leslie

[betsy]

I'm so sorry you are suffering through this terrible experience. I too
had a traumatic birth and difficult recovery from an episiotomy. I
finally found a helpful female doctor by talking to a La Leche League
leader who had also had a bad birth experience and had found a good
doctor. My new doctor took me seriously and refered me for physical
therapy to help with the physical problems and for psycho therapy for
the post traumatic stress disorder caused by the traumatic birth
experience and resulting injuries and pain. They both helped quite a
lot. I did physical therapy for almost a year and it helped quite a
lot with the episiotomy pain (though not so much for pelvic pain). I
only did a few psycho therapy sessions including and EMDR session, but
it also helped a great deal. I also joined the birth trauma support
group over at yahoo groups.

To give you a bit of hope for the future, the final step in healing for
me came with the next birth. I took Bradley classes before even
getting pregnant and found a midwife I liked. My new doctor had only
done one emergency episiotomy in the last three years and also happens
to be very good at stitching.
I gave birth on my hands and knees feeling safe knowing I didn't have
to worry about my doctor trying to do an episiotomy. I had a 2nd
degree tear this time and was frightened about the stitching. My
doctor was kind, careful and understanding. Amazingly, the tear didn't
hurt and I could hardly believe I had stitches. Despite long term pain
after the first birth, I was fine after the second and we didn't even
wait 6 weeks for painless sex.

--Betsy

[Serenity]

I had a repair done 5 years after the birth.
It is called a Fenton's.

S

[Nina Pretty Ballerina]

"Meli" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>I gave birth March 2004 and still am having problems. I went to several
> doctors in the Mayo System (where I gave birth unfortunately) and was
> treated by being laughed at, ignored, silence, and then covered up.
>
> I had a mid wife, Mary Murry, who was too busy and at the end of her
> shift to help during labor (thus she suggested drugs and requested a
> forceps delivery), and when I went in for 6-8 appiontment and told her
> of the problems, she just laughed and left me in the room with a
> student to do the examination. Then I went in to my primary physician,
> and she didn't say much. Then I went to a colorectal doctor (I
> requested a female doctor but said one wasn't available) and that old
> man just said that he never heard of something like that and dimissed
> me quickly without listening. Then I went to the gynecology department
> and requested a female doctor again, but got an old male doctor who
> talked for a lengthly amount of time about possible problems that can
> happen. Then he asked me to tell him what I thought was wrong.
>
> I told him I was experiencing dysparunia (painful intercourse) and
> rectal fissures (that tear, bleed, and cause pain during bowel
> movements). I thought it was related to my episiotomy. I told him ---
> The person who did my episiotomy repair (a resident) was doing the
> procedure, she said "Uh oh. I don't like that. I'm going to start
> over." Then my attending midwife said, "Well, we want YOU to like it.
> Ha ha ha."
>
> Well, he brought up the record of what the midwife dictated for the
> birth, and he said that it looked like a normal birth. He went on with
> another lengthy description about other problems and solutions and
> surgeries but never addressed the fact that an inexperienced resident
> admitted making a mistake while doing a procedure. It seemed like he
> didn't want me talking about it, nor did he ever talk about it.
>
> I had a right episiotomy. 2nd degree tear. Not big at all (that last
> doctor said). He never commented on the repair.
>
> Since he didn't listen to me, when he said "Okay now, hop up on the
> table and let's take a look." I declined. He wasn't listening and
> didn't acknowlege my concerns.
>
> Its been over two years. My dysparunia decreased after 18 months
> post-partum (that's a year and a half with not much sex. That upset and
> upsets me so much (I'm crying now.) I could go on and on about that,
> but I digress). The rectal fissure bleeding is not everyday now. That
> was soooo painful and disrupting to just everyday life things. That
> upsets me more than the no sex but that also effect having sex. When
> your anus is tore and bleeding and hurts, it is about the same as
> having dysparunia. I have bleeding about every three to four weeks.
>
> I still think my problems are due to my episiotomy repair. I used to
> have a labia majora on my right side. Now I don't. Where did that extra
> tissue go? I think it was the epsiotomy repair by the resident. That
> extra tissue must have been there for a reason. With no extra tissue -
> tearing with bowel movements and pain during intercourse.
>
> I don't know what to do. I'm still up at nights crying about it. Wait
> until I have another baby and see if things stretch out? Go back and
> be humiliated and laughed at more with more bills to add to the
> humiliation. Get a lawyer?
>
> I've been praying about it. I've even prayed for God to curse them for
> my revenge when I was so angry at the midwife for laughing and ignoring
> my concerns and others for not listening or addressing my problems. But
> now I pray not for revenge, but for healing. God's revenge is aweful.
> I've prayed for God's revenge twice before about other things, and I
> just found out the results were terrible for those people. I was sorry
> I prayed for such things. I try to pray for God's grace now. God's
> revenge is much too terrible when it happens.
>

have you ever had any other surgery or deep cuts, and if so how did that
heal? might be an indication of your body's ability to heal from such
wounds? just a thought

and are you still bf? do/did you post partum have any libido at all?

[Tori M]

after had my daugher intercourse hurt for a long time.. I just tore
naturaly.. no episitomy.. I think she stitched it odd because after I had my
son she added more stitches and lined things up better and it no longer
hurts.

Tori
"Meli" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>I gave birth March 2004 and still am having problems. I went to several
> doctors in the Mayo System (where I gave birth unfortunately) and was
> treated by being laughed at, ignored, silence, and then covered up.
>
> I had a mid wife, Mary Murry, who was too busy and at the end of her
> shift to help during labor (thus she suggested drugs and requested a
> forceps delivery), and when I went in for 6-8 appiontment and told her
> of the problems, she just laughed and left me in the room with a
> student to do the examination. Then I went in to my primary physician,
> and she didn't say much. Then I went to a colorectal doctor (I
> requested a female doctor but said one wasn't available) and that old
> man just said that he never heard of something like that and dimissed
> me quickly without listening. Then I went to the gynecology department
> and requested a female doctor again, but got an old male doctor who
> talked for a lengthly amount of time about possible problems that can
> happen. Then he asked me to tell him what I thought was wrong.
>
> I told him I was experiencing dysparunia (painful intercourse) and
> rectal fissures (that tear, bleed, and cause pain during bowel
> movements). I thought it was related to my episiotomy. I told him ---
> The person who did my episiotomy repair (a resident) was doing the
> procedure, she said "Uh oh. I don't like that. I'm going to start
> over." Then my attending midwife said, "Well, we want YOU to like it.
> Ha ha ha."
>
> Well, he brought up the record of what the midwife dictated for the
> birth, and he said that it looked like a normal birth. He went on with
> another lengthy description about other problems and solutions and
> surgeries but never addressed the fact that an inexperienced resident
> admitted making a mistake while doing a procedure. It seemed like he
> didn't want me talking about it, nor did he ever talk about it.
>
> I had a right episiotomy. 2nd degree tear. Not big at all (that last
> doctor said). He never commented on the repair.
>
> Since he didn't listen to me, when he said "Okay now, hop up on the
> table and let's take a look." I declined. He wasn't listening and
> didn't acknowlege my concerns.
>
> Its been over two years. My dysparunia decreased after 18 months
> post-partum (that's a year and a half with not much sex. That upset and
> upsets me so much (I'm crying now.) I could go on and on about that,
> but I digress). The rectal fissure bleeding is not everyday now. That
> was soooo painful and disrupting to just everyday life things. That
> upsets me more than the no sex but that also effect having sex. When
> your anus is tore and bleeding and hurts, it is about the same as
> having dysparunia. I have bleeding about every three to four weeks.
>
> I still think my problems are due to my episiotomy repair. I used to
> have a labia majora on my right side. Now I don't. Where did that extra
> tissue go? I think it was the epsiotomy repair by the resident. That
> extra tissue must have been there for a reason. With no extra tissue -
> tearing with bowel movements and pain during intercourse.
>
> I don't know what to do. I'm still up at nights crying about it. Wait
> until I have another baby and see if things stretch out? Go back and
> be humiliated and laughed at more with more bills to add to the
> humiliation. Get a lawyer?
>
> I've been praying about it. I've even prayed for God to curse them for
> my revenge when I was so angry at the midwife for laughing and ignoring
> my concerns and others for not listening or addressing my problems. But
> now I pray not for revenge, but for healing. God's revenge is aweful.
> I've prayed for God's revenge twice before about other things, and I
> just found out the results were terrible for those people. I was sorry
> I prayed for such things. I try to pray for God's grace now. God's
> revenge is much too terrible when it happens.
>