On 22 Sep 2006, 0:-> wrote:
>
> Doan wrote:
> > On 22 Sep 2006 wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > Dan wrote:
> > > > There was a program on ITV tonight called "I smack and I'm proud"
> > >
> > > I did not see the program so can't comment on it directly, but I do
> > > think that there is a place for some corporal punishment. I am
> > > certainly not condoning what you describe in the program.
> > >
> > > There are however times when a child's wellbeing, or even life, depend
> > > on it obeying an explicit instruction immediately. Children that don't
> > > know and understand that a certain urgent tone of voice means do it
> > > now, or else, suffer injury and death on a regular basis. This should
> > > be part of normal <a href="http://parenting.wiseway.info">child
> > > development</a>.
> > >
> > > In Finland it is illegal to administer any form of corporal punishment,
> > > by anyone, at anytime, and the culture has grown to find it
> > > unacceptable. There have been 4 well reported cases this year of
> > > children being killed by vehicles in front of their parents eyes, where
> > > the parents shouted warnings but the child did not choose to obey.
> > >
> > > I am inclined to think that the parents directly created the
> > > circumstances that led to those childrens deaths, by not training the
> > > children to obey when it is required. I do agree that that training
> > > could have been done without corporal punishment, but few parents have
> > > the skill to do that.
> > >
> > I believe Finland has outlawed spanking since 1983. So what has the law
> > accomplished? Has it reduced child-abuse? Has it reduced violent
> > crimes? And what alternatives are being used? I've read alot about
> > Sweden but not much about Finland.
> >
> > "Swedish parents now discipline their children; and in doing so, they rely
> > on a variety of alternatives to physical punishment. The method most
> > commonly used is verbal conflict resolution, which invites parents as well
> > as children to express their anger in words. Parents insist that
> > discussions involve constant eye contact, even if this means taking firm
> > hold of young children to engage their attention. Parents and
> > professionals agree that discussions may escalate into yelling, or that
> > yelling may be a necessary trigger for discussion. Still, many point out
> > that while yelling may be humiliating, it is better than ignoring the
> > problem or containing the anger, and it is usually less humiliating than
> > physical punishment." Haeuser
>
> It is as presumptively ingenuous to believe that all, or the majority
> of a group follow the same pattern of behavior without proof.
>
> That someone, or even some ones, do something is not proof that it is
> the rule or the habit for others.
>
> We do not, for instance, presume that all parents spank, nor that those
> that don't spank are forced to fall back on yelling.
>
> I do believe you are attempting, as you have in the past, to promote
> this falsehood.
>
> Some do, some don't, just as some spanking parents yell, and some
> don't.
>
> The non-spankers I know generally have more than enough other skills in
> their parenting repertoire, and a willingness, when needed to find more
> and do not use yelling as a parenting method. They seem to know how to
> engage a child and get their attention by other means.
>
> Are you planing on having children, Doan?
>
> Kane
>
Tell that to the researcher, Kane! You know who Haeuser is, right? ;-)
Doan