What would you do in this case? Upset with hubby :(

[[email protected]]

I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
all.

I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"

I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
actually said "okay good" and started driving home - so I called him
an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
into the kitchen (dummy!).

I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
"Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.

I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
about his attitude.

Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!

[Leslie]

If it were me I would sit down with him and explain why I was so
upset.

Leslie

[lucy-lu]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!

Hiya

First of all, I am so sorry for your losses, right now must be a very
difficult time for you *hugs*.

I just wanted to say, that often with cravings, it might not seem rational
to anyone else. When I was at your stage, I craved plastic - a little less
conventional, granted, but it was what I wanted. At first DH laughed it off,
thinking I was just a bit mad. As the cravings grew however, I was becoming
more and more distressed, and finally caved in and gave me the *99p*(!!)
that I needed to buy what I wanted (kids armbands). As the novelty of seeing
his wife chewing on plastic wore of, he got more and more mocking of my
needs. Ok, at the time, we totally couldn't afford anything but pure basics,
but like you with your meat, I needed to buy them.

My point is, that unless you're the one having that craving, you've no idea
how intense they are. Our DH's often see us as being unreasonable, and think
that we could just have something else, and we think they're unreasonable
for not understanding how much we want it, and that we want it *now*!

When you feel a little calmer, go to your DH, say you're sorry for calling
him an a-hole, but explain why you needed what you did. Cravings are your
body's way of getting you to eat what it is you need (although I've no idea
why I craved plastic!!). I really don't think this was a case of him
putting money over health, just him never having had cravings, and not
understanding. If you think about it, he was trying to look after his wife
and child by saving money :)


I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well for you

Lucy x

[Jamie Clark]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
>I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
> and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
> births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
> been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
> all.

I'm sorry for your losses, and for the anniversary of your most current
loss. I'm sure that all of that, PLUS being 36 weeks pregnant has greatly
influenced your recent emotional state and feelings. The good news is that
you are in the home stretch, and will be finally meeting your child in just
a few weeks.

> I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
> iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
> cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
> shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
> us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
> up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
> iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
> Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
> get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
> instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
> buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
> He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"

Did you tell him why you switched from wanting steak to hamburger -- because
it was cheaper and would fit better into the budget?

> I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
> have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
> actually said "okay good" and started driving home -

This was your first mistake -- instead of calmly telling him why you needed
the beef, and that you where keeping the budget in mind, which is why you
switched from steak to hamburger, etc, you got emotional and blew up. Don't
say things you don't really mean -- this drives men batty, as how on earth
are they supposed to trust/understand/help you, if you say things that you
don't really mean?

Perhaps instead, when he said, "You want me to get all this?????" you could
have said, "Yep. Or you can pick up a couple filet mignon. Your choice.
Or we can just stop for a burger on the way home." And smiled sweetly.

>so I called him
> an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
> grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
> and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
> grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
> it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
> we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
> couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
> into the kitchen (dummy!).

Name calling, never a good idea. If you want to stay married, I'd stop
doing that. Instead of accusing him of caring more about money than you,
again, you could have tried to speak rationally and calmly. I know that's a
tall order when you are 36 weeks pregnant, regardless of your history!, but
men are better handled that way -- tell them what the problem is, and let
them fix it. "I'm starving and low on iron and craving red meat."

> I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
> "Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.

And did you tell him why? Or did you just do one of those -- "if you don't
know, then I'm not going to tell you, but I'm going to sulk and pout and
punish you until you figure it out, because if you loved me, you'd read my
mind and KNOW why I'm angry."

> I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
> didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
> of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
> about his attitude.

I think it's a bit drastic to extrapolate this issue into "he put money over
health." Perhaps he was tired and just wanted to go home, and was irked at
a sudden "hey, lets go into the big box store and wait in long lines to get
just a couple items and get home an hour or more later than we'd planned."

> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!

Did you marry a good guy, or a stupid creep? Now, if you married a stupid
creep, well then you do have problems. But I'm going to assume that the
majority of this is hormones, and that you married a solid stand up guy. If
you married a good guy, sit down with him and talk it out, adult to adult.
Own your part -- hormonal hungry craving woman, and apologise for calling
him an asshole and blowing up at him. Then see what happens.

Good luck.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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[Nan]

What Jamie said! It's really, really hard to be rational when you're
feeling emotions. Take a deep breath and try to see this for what it
is.

Nan


On Fri, 30 Mar 2007 08:41:18 -0700, "Jamie Clark"
> wrote:

> wrote in message
ups.com...
>>I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
>> and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
>> births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
>> been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
>> all.
>
>I'm sorry for your losses, and for the anniversary of your most current
>loss. I'm sure that all of that, PLUS being 36 weeks pregnant has greatly
>influenced your recent emotional state and feelings. The good news is that
>you are in the home stretch, and will be finally meeting your child in just
>a few weeks.
>
>> I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
>> iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
>> cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
>> shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
>> us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
>> up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
>> iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
>> Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
>> get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
>> instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
>> buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
>> He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"
>
>Did you tell him why you switched from wanting steak to hamburger -- because
>it was cheaper and would fit better into the budget?
>
>> I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
>> have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
>> actually said "okay good" and started driving home -
>
>This was your first mistake -- instead of calmly telling him why you needed
>the beef, and that you where keeping the budget in mind, which is why you
>switched from steak to hamburger, etc, you got emotional and blew up. Don't
>say things you don't really mean -- this drives men batty, as how on earth
>are they supposed to trust/understand/help you, if you say things that you
>don't really mean?
>
>Perhaps instead, when he said, "You want me to get all this?????" you could
>have said, "Yep. Or you can pick up a couple filet mignon. Your choice.
>Or we can just stop for a burger on the way home." And smiled sweetly.
>
>>so I called him
>> an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
>> grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
>> and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
>> grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
>> it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
>> we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
>> couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
>> into the kitchen (dummy!).
>
>Name calling, never a good idea. If you want to stay married, I'd stop
>doing that. Instead of accusing him of caring more about money than you,
>again, you could have tried to speak rationally and calmly. I know that's a
>tall order when you are 36 weeks pregnant, regardless of your history!, but
>men are better handled that way -- tell them what the problem is, and let
>them fix it. "I'm starving and low on iron and craving red meat."
>
>> I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
>> "Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.
>
>And did you tell him why? Or did you just do one of those -- "if you don't
>know, then I'm not going to tell you, but I'm going to sulk and pout and
>punish you until you figure it out, because if you loved me, you'd read my
>mind and KNOW why I'm angry."
>
>> I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
>> didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
>> of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
>> about his attitude.
>
>I think it's a bit drastic to extrapolate this issue into "he put money over
>health." Perhaps he was tired and just wanted to go home, and was irked at
>a sudden "hey, lets go into the big box store and wait in long lines to get
>just a couple items and get home an hour or more later than we'd planned."
>
>> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
>> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
>> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
>> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!
>
>Did you marry a good guy, or a stupid creep? Now, if you married a stupid
>creep, well then you do have problems. But I'm going to assume that the
>majority of this is hormones, and that you married a solid stand up guy. If
>you married a good guy, sit down with him and talk it out, adult to adult.
>Own your part -- hormonal hungry craving woman, and apologise for calling
>him an asshole and blowing up at him. Then see what happens.
>
>Good luck.

[LaTreen Washington[_2_]]

You're a bitch.

What's with the militarychick crap?

You going to Iraq or you breeding cannon fodder?

> wrote in message
ups.com...
> I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
> and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
> births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
> been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
> all.
>
> I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
> iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
> cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
> shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
> us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
> up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
> iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
> Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
> get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
> instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
> buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
> He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"
>
> I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
> have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
> actually said "okay good" and started driving home - so I called him
> an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
> grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
> and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
> grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
> it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
> we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
> couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
> into the kitchen (dummy!).
>
> I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
> "Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.
>
> I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
> didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
> of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
> about his attitude.
>
> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!
>

[Linda]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
>I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
> and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
> births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
> been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
> all.
>
> I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
> iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
> cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
> shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
> us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
> up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
> iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
> Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
> get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
> instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
> buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
> He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"
>
> I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
> have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
> actually said "okay good" and started driving home - so I called him
> an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
> grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
> and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
> grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
> it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
> we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
> couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
> into the kitchen (dummy!).
>
> I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
> "Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.
>
> I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
> didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
> of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
> about his attitude.
>
> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!
>

I agree with what Jamie said, in theory, in a perfect world where we think
about what we do before we do it - in practise unfortunately it doesn't
always work that way. :)

I have been married for 7 years to a fantastic caring guy who loves me a
lot.
It has taken me a while to realise though that there are some things that he
just doesn't get - and probably never will. For example, if I'm upset over
something no matter what it is, I want him to care, and be concerned that
whatever it is has affected me. From his point of view if it's something
logically worth getting upset over he will try to make me feel better, if he
doesn't consider it a big deal, then surely I should just not be making a
fuss. Now couple that with emotions and hormones.

So if I'm feeling a bit emotional, and he doesn't seem to care then it
escalates, and so on. He just puts it down to me and having an emotional
time and I'll get over it and quite honestly I can be crying and it doesn't
phase him. And each time I try to explain the issue to him - I think that
this time he will somehow magically understand and he will suddenly realise
and things will be different. And every time it is the same - no matter
whether I try to talk to him when things are normal or if I'm upset.

I have come to the conclusion over time that while he's not from another
planet, his mind works very differently from mine. He is willing to put up
with a woman who (from his point of view) goes ridiculous for no reason
whatsoever, and I know (when I'm calm) that he does love me and that we have
a pretty good relationship.

I've probably come across like I'm a raving emotional mess, and he's an
insensitive lout, but it's really not like that and it doesn't happen all
that often.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, assuming your DH is a nice guy and
overall you do love him and get on well, more than likely he does care about
health more than a budget, but this would be something that he just doesn't
get. You say you are not normally emotional, so this probably caught him
off guard, and if you think he will never get why you got so upset, then
chances are you are right, you know him. It doesn't mean you can't try to
explain it to him, but if he's anything like my DH it would be a waste of
time. (In the nicest and most respectful way).
Now you are obviously and legitimately going through an emotional time, so
that probably is magnifying everything.

What would I do in this case - I would assume that unfortunately this was
just a flaw in understanding, not character, in what was otherwise a very
nice guy (and we all do have our flaws), I would have a good cry and eat
some chocoloate (assuming your budget allows for it!!) and tell myself I'll
soon be having a gorgeous little baby to love and cuddle and then try to
calm down and look after my health.

Hugs - hope you're feeling better now - take care of yourself

[Jamie Clark]

"Linda" > wrote in message ...
>
> > wrote in message
> ups.com...
>>I am 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a high risk pregnancy, I am 37 yrs old
>> and have lost four babies, three in the second trimester, two live
>> births. My last loss was at 22 weeks exactly a year ago and so I have
>> been a bit emotional today - usually I am not an emotional person at
>> all.
>>
>> I've been craving red meat the last few days (I have low iron and take
>> iron supplements) so I wanted to go to Costco and get some steaks to
>> cook. We are on a monthly budget for groceries and last time we went
>> shopping our cereal was on sale so dh decided to stock up, which put
>> us over our grocery budget. So, when I wanted to get steak he kicked
>> up a fuss, even after telling him red meat is good if you have low
>> iron, and maybe if i'm craving red meat I might need to eat some.
>> Finally he agreed to go, and on the way I figured well maybe I'll just
>> get hamburger since its cheaper and I could eat a nice big hamburger
>> instead of a steak. I listed "ground beef, cheddar cheese and hamburg
>> buns" for dh to go get (I can't walk far so I can't go into Costco.
>> He says "you want me to get ALL this??!"
>>
>> I was so ticked off I said (not really meaning it, I'm sure most of us
>> have done this at times!) "Fine then, let's just go home!". And he
>> actually said "okay good" and started driving home - so I called him
>> an a-hole (I don't normally swear!) and asked him "Do you think the
>> grocery budget is more important than the health of your pregnant wife
>> and child?" He said "Some people can't afford to go over their
>> grocery budget"... I told him that we CAN because we have the money,
>> it's just we're trying to save money. He went in and got the stuff,
>> we brought it home and I cooked up some really good burgers. He
>> couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a hug or kiss when he came
>> into the kitchen (dummy!).
>>
>> I asked him if after supper if he realized why I was upset and he said
>> "Because I stood between you and food?". I doubt he will ever get it.
>>
>> I am a bit afraid that he seemed to put money over health, and he
>> didn't even realize or say anything about me buying hamburger instead
>> of steak. We've been married a few years now so I'm a bit surprised
>> about his attitude.
>>
>> Since I doubt he will ever understand and it's something that worries
>> me may happen again in the future (considering money over health),
>> what should I do? I am very upset over this but don't know if I'm
>> over reacting because I'm pregnant and emotional!
>>
>
> I agree with what Jamie said, in theory, in a perfect world where we think
> about what we do before we do it - in practise unfortunately it doesn't
> always work that way. :)

Well you may not, but many many people do, actually think before they speak.
It's called maturity, to not let your emotions run your life, and to use
your head as well as your heart. It's not just theory, it's how lots and
lots of people live their lives.

> I have been married for 7 years to a fantastic caring guy who loves me a
> lot.
> It has taken me a while to realise though that there are some things that
> he just doesn't get - and probably never will. For example, if I'm upset
> over something no matter what it is, I want him to care, and be concerned
> that whatever it is has affected me. From his point of view if it's
> something logically worth getting upset over he will try to make me feel
> better, if he doesn't consider it a big deal, then surely I should just
> not be making a fuss. Now couple that with emotions and hormones.

I'm sure he cares that you are upset, but doesn't understand why something
is upsetting to you. He isn't you. I'd also hazard a guess that there are
things that upset him that have you shrugging your shoulders and wondering
what on earth the big deal is. But you know what? That's why you married
him, because he is a guy, and he has a different perspective on things. And
I would guess that some things that upset you, in retrospect, really aren't
that big of a deal, and you perhaps over reacted a bit -- once or twice?

> So if I'm feeling a bit emotional, and he doesn't seem to care then it
> escalates, and so on. He just puts it down to me and having an emotional
> time and I'll get over it and quite honestly I can be crying and it
> doesn't phase him. And each time I try to explain the issue to him - I
> think that this time he will somehow magically understand and he will
> suddenly realise and things will be different. And every time it is the
> same - no matter whether I try to talk to him when things are normal or if
> I'm upset.

The problem as I see it is that you keep expecting him to be different, and
have different reactions. Isn't that one of the definitions of crazy --
doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result?
He's a guy, so he's going to react to things in a guy manner. If you want a
typical girly emotional response, then talk to your mother or sister or best
girlfriend. But if your guy can't fix it, there isn't much, from his
perspective, that he can do about it, so why let it get to both of you.
Now, that isn't to say that he may not be able to hold and comfort and
soothe you, but perhaps you need to explain to him that is all that you are
requesting of him. And then only request that of him -- for him to be your
rock solid guy who can hold you tight and make you feel safe, rather than
get all emotional with you about something that he has no control over.

> I have come to the conclusion over time that while he's not from another
> planet, his mind works very differently from mine. He is willing to put
> up with a woman who (from his point of view) goes ridiculous for no reason
> whatsoever, and I know (when I'm calm) that he does love me and that we
> have a pretty good relationship.
>
> I've probably come across like I'm a raving emotional mess, and he's an
> insensitive lout, but it's really not like that and it doesn't happen all
> that often.

No, you've come across like a woman, and he's come across like a man.
Sounds normal to me.

> I guess what I'm trying to say is that, assuming your DH is a nice guy and
> overall you do love him and get on well, more than likely he does care
> about health more than a budget, but this would be something that he just
> doesn't get. You say you are not normally emotional, so this probably
> caught him off guard, and if you think he will never get why you got so
> upset, then chances are you are right, you know him. It doesn't mean you
> can't try to explain it to him, but if he's anything like my DH it would
> be a waste of time. (In the nicest and most respectful way).
> Now you are obviously and legitimately going through an emotional time, so
> that probably is magnifying everything.
>
> What would I do in this case - I would assume that unfortunately this was
> just a flaw in understanding, not character, in what was otherwise a very
> nice guy (and we all do have our flaws), I would have a good cry and eat
> some chocoloate (assuming your budget allows for it!!) and tell myself
> I'll soon be having a gorgeous little baby to love and cuddle and then try
> to calm down and look after my health.

This I agree with -- excellent advice!
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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