Biological Father Visitation Rights - Drop-Off & Pick-Up Issues.

[woomis@gmail.com]

Hello All!

She has them all month, except: mondays are his, and every other
weekend
is his. Pick up and drop off times for the children DO NOT have
exact
times but rather the following generalizations:

Weekends:

Every other weekend for the Biological Father's visitation:

Fridays she drops them off at school at 8:00 (or 9:00 daycare during
summer) and he picks them up at
3:30 at school/daycare, sunday she picks up at 6:00 at whatever RANDOM
place he chooses, sometimes even a playground 30 miles away after his
weekend is over. Even though he is supposed to be dropping off at
6:00, she is trying to be amicable and is picking them up.

Mondays:

Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.

Pretty Simple Right? ...

However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
dont understand why their dad wont open the door.

While she's ringing the doorbell and waiting she gets a text message
from him inside saying "You are not above the law".

I am just a stepparent and have no history with visitation rights.
There is no specific order from the court about what should occur if
school/daycare is unavailable. She has tried calling him to discuss
but he will not speak to her about anything other than "3:30 is my
time... 3:30 is my time... you are wrong..." Is he correct about him
picking up ALWAYS at 3:30? Or would the judge look at it as an
irresponsible activity on his part because Monday's are HIS visitation
day?

Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated!

--
Joe

[ValveJob]

On Mon, 02 Jul 2007 10:41:43 -0700, wrote:

>Hello All!
>
>She has them all month, except: mondays are his, and every other
>weekend
>is his. Pick up and drop off times for the children DO NOT have
>exact
>times but rather the following generalizations:
>
>Weekends:
>
>Every other weekend for the Biological Father's visitation:
>
>Fridays she drops them off at school at 8:00 (or 9:00 daycare during
>summer) and he picks them up at
>3:30 at school/daycare, sunday she picks up at 6:00 at whatever RANDOM
>place he chooses, sometimes even a playground 30 miles away after his
>weekend is over. Even though he is supposed to be dropping off at
>6:00, she is trying to be amicable and is picking them up.
>
>Mondays:
>
>Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
>daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>
>Pretty Simple Right? ...
>
>However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
>for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
>she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
>and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
>refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
>dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
>
>While she's ringing the doorbell and waiting she gets a text message
>from him inside saying "You are not above the law".
>
>I am just a stepparent and have no history with visitation rights.
>There is no specific order from the court about what should occur if
>school/daycare is unavailable. She has tried calling him to discuss
>but he will not speak to her about anything other than "3:30 is my
>time... 3:30 is my time... you are wrong..." Is he correct about him
>picking up ALWAYS at 3:30? Or would the judge look at it as an
>irresponsible activity on his part because Monday's are HIS visitation
>day?
>
>Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated!

I'd say the confusion of the present order is at fault. You both
need to hire your lawyers again to clean up the confusion and there is
no sum of money too great to do that. I'd guess at least $25,000
attorney fees each to get it cleared up..

Or you can work it out among yourselves.

[Gini]

> wrote
...................................
>
> Mondays:
>
> Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
> daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>
> Pretty Simple Right? ...
>
> However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
> for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
> she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
> and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
> refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
> dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
==
Why on earth didn't she arrange this with him ahead of time instead of
showing up at his door kids in tow?
What were his plans for that time? Does he work?

[Shadow36]

"Gini" > wrote in message
news:J0eii.5911$vG2.2621@trnddc02...
>
> > wrote
> ..................................
>>
>> Mondays:
>>
>> Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
>> daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>>
>> Pretty Simple Right? ...
>>
>> However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
>> for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
>> she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
>> and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
>> refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
>> dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
> ==
> Why on earth didn't she arrange this with him ahead of time instead of
> showing up at his door kids in tow?
> What were his plans for that time? Does he work?
>

I agree Gini, just to show up way early with kids in tow wasn't a good Idea
at all.

[Gini]

"Shadow36" > wrote
>
> "Gini" > wrote
>>
>> > wrote
>> ..................................
>>>
>>> Mondays:
>>>
>>> Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
>>> daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>>>
>>> Pretty Simple Right? ...
>>>
>>> However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
>>> for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
>>> she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
>>> and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
>>> refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
>>> dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
>> ==
>> Why on earth didn't she arrange this with him ahead of time instead of
>> showing up at his door kids in tow?
>> What were his plans for that time? Does he work?
>>
>
> I agree Gini, just to show up way early with kids in tow wasn't a good
> Idea at all.
==
And then telling the kids their dad won't open the door? She showed very
poor judgment as
an ex-wife and mother. I'm guessing she also spent the following week
telling everyone what
a jerk the dad is.

[micro]

On Jul 2, 4:09 pm, ValveJob > wrote:
> On Mon, 02 Jul 2007 10:41:43 -0700, wrote:
> >Hello All!
>
> >She has them all month, except: mondays are his, and every other
> >weekend
> >is his. Pick up and drop off times for the children DO NOT have
> >exact
> >times but rather the following generalizations:
>
> >Weekends:
>
> >Every other weekend for the Biological Father's visitation:
>
> >Fridays she drops them off at school at 8:00 (or 9:00 daycare during
> >summer) and he picks them up at
> >3:30 at school/daycare, sunday she picks up at 6:00 at whatever RANDOM
> >place he chooses, sometimes even a playground 30 miles away after his
> >weekend is over. Even though he is supposed to be dropping off at
> >6:00, she is trying to be amicable and is picking them up.
>
> >Mondays:
>
> >Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
> >daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>
> >Pretty Simple Right? ...
>
> >However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
> >for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
> >she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
> >and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
> >refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
> >dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
>
> >While she's ringing the doorbell and waiting she gets a text message
> >from him inside saying "You are not above the law".
>
> >I am just a stepparent and have no history with visitation rights.
> >There is no specific order from the court about what should occur if
> >school/daycare is unavailable. She has tried calling him to discuss
> >but he will not speak to her about anything other than "3:30 is my
> >time... 3:30 is my time... you are wrong..." Is he correct about him
> >picking up ALWAYS at 3:30? Or would the judge look at it as an
> >irresponsible activity on his part because Monday's are HIS visitation
> >day?
>
> >Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated!
>
> I'd say the confusion of the present order is at fault. You both
> need to hire your lawyers again to clean up the confusion and there is
> no sum of money too great to do that. I'd guess at least $25,000
> attorney fees each to get it cleared up..
>
> Or you can work it out among yourselves.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -


Same issues. Funny though, when she wants a weekend off (which is
most), she goes out of her way to accomodate me. But, she wants all
the legal lingo to be in her favor.

I have been fighting for a few years in court. After 15k in costs, I
am sick about it. But, will not give up. I figure, by the time this
fighting is done, the children will no longer be minors.

Good Luck


http://mylesbian.blogspot.com/


Save 50% On Your Student Loans

http://clc-micro.blogspot.com/

[JayR]

On Jul 2, 10:41 am, wrote:
> Hello All!
>
> She has them all month, except: mondays are his, and every other
> weekend
> is his. Pick up and drop off times for the children DO NOT have
> exact
> times but rather the following generalizations:
>
> Weekends:
>
> Every other weekend for the Biological Father's visitation:
>
> Fridays she drops them off at school at 8:00 (or 9:00 daycare during
> summer) and he picks them up at
> 3:30 at school/daycare, sunday she picks up at 6:00 at whatever RANDOM
> place he chooses, sometimes even a playground 30 miles away after his
> weekend is over. Even though he is supposed to be dropping off at
> 6:00, she is trying to be amicable and is picking them up.
>
> Mondays:
>
> Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
> daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>
> Pretty Simple Right? ...
>
> However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
> for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
> she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
> and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
> refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
> dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
>
> While she's ringing the doorbell and waiting she gets a text message
> from him inside saying "You are not above the law".
>
> I am just a stepparent and have no history with visitation rights.
> There is no specific order from the court about what should occur if
> school/daycare is unavailable. She has tried calling him to discuss
> but he will not speak to her about anything other than "3:30 is my
> time... 3:30 is my time... you are wrong..." Is he correct about him
> picking up ALWAYS at 3:30? Or would the judge look at it as an
> irresponsible activity on his part because Monday's are HIS visitation
> day?
>
> Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated!
>
> --
> Joe

When you have a vindictive ex, any and all ambiguities in the
visitation order will be exploited to manipulate and harangue you.
Showing up with the kids and "offering more time" at a time when she
knows you likely have plans is a typical manipulation. This lets her
say she's offering you more time with the kids -- so generous of her!
-- but you are forced to refuse -- you uncaring cad!

It is absolutely imperative that you obtain a visitation order that
clearly spells out all rights and duties for EVERY possible scenario,
and then stick to that order. It can be done. Make a calendar for
the entire upcoming year, with exact pickup dates, times, locations,
and duties for each parent clearly detailed. Each parent signs it.
File a copy with the court in your case file. Deviations from the
order must be agreed to in advance, in writing, by both parties, and
these deviations must be noted as "one-time" deviations unless each
party wants to make a permanent change to the order.

Save yourself years of headache and heartache -- get a comprehensive,
bulletproof visitation order that addresses every possible scenario
for every day of the year. Without it you and your kids are open game
for the malicious ex and his/her games.

[No Name]

I am a custodial father and remarried and had issues with my ex-wife and
current wife butting heads on this issue. I have always been flexable in
person but always specific when it came to court orders I guess I am the
opposite of most people here.

My order stated the 1st and 3rd sunday from 1pm to 5pm (though I told my ex
we could play it by ear according to our schedules as I did want her to see
her children.
I always wanted a specific order to back me up just incase the situation got
out of hand.

well its been 5 yrs now and she has made little attempt to see them and
threatend to call the cops on me ONE time when I refused to give her
directions to a house she has been at 6 or 7 times in the last 14 months -
on top of that she was given yahoo map direction from her house to mine.
This was last Thanksgiving, she hasnt been around since saying I am refusing
her the children yet she has my home phone number (which is published too)
and she wont call her kids at all.

Some people just are not happy unless there is conflict is all I can say.

Robert



"Gini" > wrote in message
news:bPwii.16268$MR5.10294@trndny02...
>
> "Shadow36" > wrote
>>
>> "Gini" > wrote
>>>
>>> > wrote
>>> ..................................
>>>>
>>>> Mondays:
>>>>
>>>> Every monday (when it is her weekend), she drops them off as school/
>>>> daycare, he picks them up at 3:30 at school/daycare.
>>>>
>>>> Pretty Simple Right? ...
>>>>
>>>> However, today the kids do not have school, and the daycare is closed
>>>> for a vacation. She figures the father would like some extra time so
>>>> she goes to his house to drop them off, she brings them to the door
>>>> and the father, his new wife, new baby and his wife's baby are
>>>> refusing to answer the door. Her children are crying because they
>>>> dont understand why their dad wont open the door.
>>> ==
>>> Why on earth didn't she arrange this with him ahead of time instead of
>>> showing up at his door kids in tow?
>>> What were his plans for that time? Does he work?
>>>
>>
>> I agree Gini, just to show up way early with kids in tow wasn't a good
>> Idea at all.
> ==
> And then telling the kids their dad won't open the door? She showed very
> poor judgment as
> an ex-wife and mother. I'm guessing she also spent the following week
> telling everyone what
> a jerk the dad is.
>
>
>