Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)

[Sophie]

Mini-vent coming on -

As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
better - ick!

This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Okay, done, feel better :)

Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
to you? Just curious.

Sophie
#4 due July 7, 2004

[SuperEeyore]

Sophie wrote:
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
> rude to you? Just curious.

I had to nurse Juliet in the narthex of mil's church. It wasn't very
comfortable, and the room in the bathroom was yucky and filled with catty
women. An usher came up and suggested we would all be more comfortable in
the ladies room.

Laurel


---
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[Iuil]

"Sophie" wrote
>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

Only my GP's receptionist (who really ought to have known better). She
insisted that I would be more comfortable in an empty office than in the
waiting room (3 other people, 2 men which I think was her problem). She
actually took my carseat and changing bag and carried them into the office.

I complained to the doctor about her and he tried to say that she was doing
me a favour. My mother said that if it happened the next time to turn
around and ask the other people in the waiting room if they actually did
have a problem. The next time we went back, 3 months later, she never said
a word. Pity, cos I was feeling a lot more bolshie by then :-).

Jean

[Kari]

I've only had positive responses from people, that I've noticed. My husband
has said that a few times I had the evil stare but I didnt see them. Oh
well, it's either feed him or listen to him scream his head off.

And I've fed him everywhere we go. Kaylie's dance recital, school functions,
restaurants, Walmart, the mall, in front of relatives. There isn't much I
can do about it when he's hungry, he'd never take a bottle as much as we
tried.

Ya know, I'm almost waiting for a rude comment, just so I can say something
rude back. Im such a beeotch sometimes ;)

Kari
mom to 3

[Ericka Kammerer]

Sophie wrote:

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
there's been no response or a positive response. I've
had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Cheryl S.]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why
> does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in
> public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's
> inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Because it's so inane, and *so* none of their beeswax?

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had
> anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious.

I nursed Julie for 14 months and have nursed Jaden for 9 months now, in
public several times a week, and no one has ever said anything at all
that I can remember, either positive or negative. Wait, two weeks ago
at Julie's preschool, another mom saw me sit down to nurse Jaden and
said, "I miss nursing." I'm pretty sure that's the first comment
anyone's made to me while NIP.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 8 months

[Cheryl S.]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
> Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
> think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
> they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
> such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
> there's been no response or a positive response. I've
> had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
> either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)

You and I probably give off the same "I dare you to say something"
vibe. ;-)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 8 months

[Phoebe & Allyson]

Sophie wrote:
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
> rude to you? Just curious.

Nope - never gotten so much as a dirty look that I noticed. And I've nursed
pretty indiscreetly (due to circumstance), too. I must just have that look
about me.

I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency did you
use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though. Apparently nice
Caucasian girls don't give birth to mixed-race children around here.

Phoebe :)
--
yahoo address is unread; substitute mailbolt

[Tracey]

"Kari" > wrote in message
...
> Ya know, I'm almost waiting for a rude comment, just so I can say
something
> rude back. Im such a beeotch sometimes ;)

LOL, me too. I keep hoping someone will say something rude to me so that I
can give them a flip comment, but it hasn't ever happened. I've had a few
evil eye looks, but never any direct negative comments. I have had a lot of
thumbs up type responses from people though.
Tracey in CT

[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Because you have common sense!

<snip>

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
> to you? Just curious.

Actually, never once. I nursed Matthew in public until he was about 14
months old. He weaned at 16 months.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Alpha]

Sophie says:

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
> rude to you? Just curious.

I've never had anyone say anything rude to me. That having been said, I'm
the sort who prefers to find a place that offers at least a little privacy.
I'd rather visit the Nordstrom mom's room than nurse on a mall bench, for
instance.

The bigger problem I've had when nursing in public is that I've had a few
gawkers, male and female. One time in Ikea this guy just couldn't get his
eye full enough.

-- Alpha
mom to Eamon and Quinn

[New York Jen]

>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004

Nope, but I'm dying to just so I could tear them a new a**hole!

I've been very lucky with nursing in public, which I do all the time and am
quite comfortable. The other day I had Lily in the Baby Trekker carrier and
I whipped out my boob and latched her on while I finished my food shopping.
Nobody even noticed, other than my mother, who was totally embarrassed.

- Jen

[Nancy P]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
>> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004
>

Last weekend I was nursing on a bench on the boardwalk (with the double
stroller in front of me, which pretty much blocks the view). An older woman
sat on the bench next to me, asked if I was nursing, and expressed amazement
that people do that publicly nowadays. She hadn't nursed her children, but
was generally curious, and it was a nice conversation. That was the first
time (20 months of nursing the first child, one month of the second) a
stranger's ever said anything to me, either way.

The other day a bookstore I was nursing during storytime. I think, but am
not sure, that one parent made a negative comment to another about me
nursing. Oh well....

Nancy

[Circe]

Cheryl S. wrote:
> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
>> think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
>> they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
>> such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
>> there's been no response or a positive response. I've
>> had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
>> either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)
>
> You and I probably give off the same "I dare you to say something"
> vibe. ;-)

Ditto. I've always figured it was the same vibe I give off while pregnant
that says "Touch my belly and you're dead" <g>. I know I have gotten the
occasional offended look, but only because my husband tells me so. If he
didn't notice, I know I never would!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Larry McMahan]

Sophie > writes:

: Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
: to you? Just curious.

No, we live in California! :-)

Larry,
not me; Monika!

[Circe]

Cheryl S. wrote:
> Wait, two weeks ago at Julie's preschool, another mom saw me sit
> down to nurse Jaden and said, "I miss nursing." I'm pretty sure
> that's the first comment anyone's made to me while NIP.

I have actually had a fair number of conversations about this over the years
while NIP, particularly as my babies got into the toddler years. You'd never
believe the number of women I've encountered who guiltily confessed to me as
I nursed my 1+yo that they had nursed until their children were 2, 3, or
(shocking!) even more than 3yo. I always enjoy these conversations during
which I unblinkingly own to having nursed my oldest for 3y2m and to knowing
quite a number of moms who nursed until their kids were closer to 5yo.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Ericka Kammerer]

Circe wrote:

> Cheryl S. wrote:
>
>>"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
>>
>>>Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
>>>think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
>>>they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
>>>such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
>>>there's been no response or a positive response. I've
>>>had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
>>>either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)
>>
>>You and I probably give off the same "I dare you to say something"
>>vibe. ;-)
>
> Ditto. I've always figured it was the same vibe I give off while pregnant
> that says "Touch my belly and you're dead" <g>. I know I have gotten the
> occasional offended look, but only because my husband tells me so. If he
> didn't notice, I know I never would!

Yeah, I must have the no-belly-touching thing going too.
No stranger has *ever* touched my belly, and hardly any
relatives have either--even the ones who would have been
welcome to do so ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Cathy Weeks]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

No. I've been very lucky in that regard. The only slightly wierd thing
that happened was at Costco, when I sat on a bench and nursed Kivi in
the alcove next to the pharmacy. It was relatively secluded, since I
could only be seen from one side, and it wasn't a high-traffic area at
that moment.

The clerk REALLY wanted me to move to the patient counseling room,
that had a chair and a door. I finally looked at her, and said
mildly, "Look, am I showing or something?" She just mumbled that she
thought I'd want more privacy, and left me alone after that.

But the people who even seemed to notice mostly just smiled
approvingly. I've heard horror stories about rude people, but it
seems so incongruous, given my overwhelmingly positive experience with
it. I'm STILL NIP'ing my 2.5 year old, and haven't had anyone even
seem to think it was wierd (at least no one has shared it.)

The only person who thought my extended breastfeeding was wierd was a
friend of mine who is bottle-feeding (not by choice - she had had
breast reduction surgery, and couldn't breastfeed, as it the case in
95% of that surgery type). She didn't have a problem with NIP, but
thought a two-and-a-half-year-old was shockingly old. She had heard
of such things, but never knew anyone who actually did it.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

[Cathy Weeks]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Because you aren't stupid? I'm not sure why the fact that you
bottlefed has anything to do with it, unless your reasons for
bottlefeeding instead of breastfeeding were because you though it was
*inappropriate* to expose your breasts to a baby or something, but
given what you wrote above, that seems unlikely. :-)

> Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
> breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
> baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
> feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
> better - ick!

Yeah, I've never understood that one, either. They wouldn't want to
eat in the bathroom, but don't have a problem suggesting that a woman
pump or feed her infant in the bathroom.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

[JennP]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...

> Yeah, I must have the no-belly-touching thing going too.
> No stranger has *ever* touched my belly, and hardly any
> relatives have either--even the ones who would have been
> welcome to do so ;-)

I guess I'm part of the "Don't mess with me" appearance club too. No one
*ever* tried to touch my belly or made a comment (to my face that I know of)
about NIP. If people did try to touch me though I would have just stepped
away quickly. I'm not a touchy person.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Marie]

On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:21:20 -0700, "Circe" > wrote:
>I have actually had a fair number of conversations about this over the years
>while NIP, particularly as my babies got into the toddler years. You'd never
>believe the number of women I've encountered who guiltily confessed to me as
>I nursed my 1+yo that they had nursed until their children were 2, 3, or
>(shocking!) even more than 3yo. I always enjoy these conversations during
>which I unblinkingly own to having nursed my oldest for 3y2m and to knowing
>quite a number of moms who nursed until their kids were closer to 5yo.

I am finding that also here lately(not just with nursing,
either...co-sleeping has been a big "discovery" lately). The fact that
this happens also relieves some of the stress of nursing in public (my
toddler hates nursing without pushing my shirt up, it's about
impossible to be discreet in any way)...for any negative comment or
look you may get, think of all the mothers who "secretly" nursed their
tots that long. The person with the comments has no clue. kwim?
Marie

[Marie]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 01:46:05 GMT, "New York Jen"
> wrote:
>Nope, but I'm dying to just so I could tear them a new a**hole!

I've felt that way myself ;o)

>I've been very lucky with nursing in public, which I do all the time and am
>quite comfortable. The other day I had Lily in the Baby Trekker carrier and
>I whipped out my boob and latched her on while I finished my food shopping.
>Nobody even noticed, other than my mother, who was totally embarrassed.

Isn't it interesting, the ones who are most concerned about it are
mothers/MILs.
Once at our town's annual Soiree (held outdoors on main street) I was
with my MIL and Bethany wanted to nurse (she was 18mths), MIL asked if
there was a porta-potty closeby for me to nurse her in!! I was
shocked, as MIL knows and has seen me NIP everywhere I've been and has
even joked about nursing her herself when babysitting (she never
nursed her kids) Other than that though she's never seemed embarassed.
My own mother jokes about Bethany being so "old", and walking and
asking for it but it's only joking. She's actually let her latch on
once before to see what she'd do when Bethany was 14mths. lol (she
nursed my brother and I)
Marie

[Sarajoyo]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
> breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
> baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
> feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
> better - ick!
>
> This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
> what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
> children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!
>
> Okay, done, feel better :)
>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
Nope. Never. And I've breastfed in public in all sorts of places --
Wal-Mart, grocery stores, a pool, the beach, libraries, malls,
restaurants ranging from Wendy's to really fancy places, you name it,
if I've been there with DD, I've probably breastfed her there. I've
never ever had a negative comment or look at all, and in the places
I've lived, bf'ing is not the norm at all. I have bf'ed in the sling
some, but I have also bf'ed without it plenty, and I don't generally
wear nursing clothing (except for dresses for church). People don't
usually comment, but if they do, it's all been positive. My favorite
comment came from an older woman who was working in a nice fabric
store where I was shopping when DD was not quite two. She wanted
milk, so I sat down at the pattern counters to nurse her, and the lady
came over to me. I was steeling myself for a negative comment, but
she smiled and said I reminded her of herself with her babies, that
she had nursed them all for about 3 years, and she was so glad to see
other moms nursing. Made my day. :)

-Sara:)

[Tina]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
> breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
> baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
> feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
> better - ick!
>
> This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
> what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
> children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!
>
> Okay, done, feel better :)
>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004

Wow, Sophie!

That's by far the 'nicest' vent I've read relating to kids!

I'd guess it might bother you because it's such a vindictive way to
criticize another person's choices -- let's just not let them do it
anymore, or declare that they need to do it in the bathroom. It's
boggling to just about anyone who takes the time to think it through
-- Person A doesn't want to see or be reminded of breastfeeding in any
way, no matter how minor, so they think that Person B should only feed
her child (when in public) in a restroom! And because it would be
ridiculous to try and pass legislation against breastfeeding in
public, or stage a protest, they get more and more outrageous in the
complaints.

I've seen it too, in online groups where they don't know me so much as
'mom' or 'breastfeeding mom', and I really don't get bothered -- but I
do try and remember the names of the people who say things like that,
because it makes me less likely to believe them in other contexts (if
breastfeeding in a restaurant is 'indecent exposure' to someone, a few
months later it may occur to me that 'my husband is the meanest guy
in the world' from the same person probably means that he forgot to
pick up milk on the way home...once)

It's preposterous. And no, I've never had a negative comment when
nursing in public, and while I never tried to flash anyone, I also
didn't worry too much about what people would think. I think
confidence has a lot to do with whether you're deemed approachable by
rude people.

I did have a couple of older men (80's+) sit themselves down
uncomfortably close to me while I was nursing on a bench in the mall
one time. I didn't think at the time that they were *trying* to get
me to stop, but I was totally squicked out, and I left. That might
have been them telling me 'No nursing around here!'.

It does say a lot more about the complainer than the one being
complained about, though.

Tina.

[Nikki]

Sophie wrote:
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me
> when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate"

Because you are smart?
Because you have a full and busy life and really don't have time to
investigate the table next door to see if you can find something to bitch
about?
Because you are lacking the 'holier then thou' gene?
Because you are sensible?

:-D :-D I guess I'll stop now, lol.

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
> rude to you?

I've breastfed in public a lot. I've never had a single rude comment. I
don't remember any comments at all actually but certainly no rude ones.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[A&G&K]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it
makes
> breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
> baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
> feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
> better - ick!
>
> This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
> what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
> children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!
>
> Okay, done, feel better :)
>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004
>
>
I've been glared at a few times ... and I've looked the person in the eye
and given them a big smile. I think my attitude probably stops a few
people from making negative comments to me. Lots of people have smiled at
me though ... maybe fondly reminiscing.

It bothers me more when the media make out that its indecent to bf in
public, but at least in Australia, a woman's right to bf her child whenever
and wherever necessary is protected by anitdiscrimination laws.

I've often though that if anyone did say anything negative I'd invite them
to bring their lunch into the ladies toilet and we could chat about their
problems with me bf in public ;)
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

[Nan]

On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, "Sophie" >
wrote:

>Mini-vent coming on -
>
>As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
>people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
>it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
>breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
>baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
>feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
>better - ick!

Because you respect other people :-)

>This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
>what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
>children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!

Because they're ignorant ;-)

>Okay, done, feel better :)

Good

>Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
>to you? Just curious.

Only once and I just smiled sweetly at the offending party and
continued about my business.
Most of the reaction I've had has been very positive.

Nan

[Leslie]

>
>As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
>people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
>it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
>breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
>baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
>feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
>better - ick!

Maybe it bothers you because you realize that bf is just about feeding a baby,
not some kind of sexual thing. If you can bottlefeed in public, and grownups
can eat in public, then a baby should be able to nurse in public!

>
>This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
>what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
>children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!
>
>Okay, done, feel better :)
>
>Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
>to you? Just curious.

Only my grandmother. :-) Other than that, I was once asked by a security guard
ion a museum if I wouldn't like to go to the lounge to nurse. IT was phrased
as though she thought I would be more comfortable there, but I definitely got
the vibe that SHE would be more comfortable with me there! I just smiled and
said we were fine.

Oh, and the YMCA had a sign posted that you couldn't nurse your baby in public
there, only in the lounge. I didn't have a baby then, but if I had I was going
to nurse it all over the place there and dare them to say something.

Here's my vent--I NEVER see anyone nursing in public. Thus I assume that
people are either expressing milk into bottles for when they go out, hiding in
bathrooms, or just waiting until they get home to feed. The end result is that
a nursing baby continues to be a rare sight around here, which only adds to the
perception of NIP as shocking. I wish they would hold a nurse-in around here!

Leslie

[Rosenugga]

Sophie pondered:

>As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
>people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
>it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Because you have a brain and belong to an enlightened generation?



>Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
>to you? Just curious.

I must give of grumpy mommy vibes too. I never had any be rude. But then I
only had one person other than family touch my stomach. I used to work with
her and she was completely trashed. It was actually rather amusing as she was
down on her knees hugging and laying her head on my belly. She claimed the
baby was talking to her.

I didn't BF out in public alot though. Partially because I wasn't comfortable
with it and DD used to fall asleep in the car and would often sleep through
most short trips. The only person that got obviously embarrased was our Rebbi.
DD was eating and Rebbi came up behind us in the back row. He said "How's the
little one.. WHOA you're busy I'll come back." The funny things was I was
completely covered but he knew what that blanket meant.

Rose
Mamma to Caity Feb 13 1999 ( Daddy's best birthday present)

[Wendy]

I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
wondering.

[Alissa]

snip>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004
>
> I didn't ever breast feed in public ( as in shops or restaurants) but
certainly did in friends houses purely because I have really big breasts and
tummy and find it very awkward and only ever fed using the football hold and
a pillow at the side of me,( not one bit discrete I tell you!) even in those
parents rooms I couldn't because the sides of the arm chairs were too high..
I timed my outings to shops and dinner etc for the 3 hrs between feeds, I
found it very inconvenient.
I have no objection to people feeding babies in public, I wish I was able to
do it so easily.
Alissa

[Jan Silbermann]

In article <5hQvc.37079$pt3.23574@attbi_s03>,
JennP > wrote:
>
>"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
>> Mini-vent coming on -
>>
>> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
>> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
>> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??
>
> > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
>rude
>> to you? Just curious.
>
Nursed five kids, nine years total.
I only got one comment and it was enthusiastically
positive.

Jan
Tovah 13
Eliana 11
Asher 9
David 6
Shoshana 4

http://www.lotsofkids.com

[cara]

Sophie wrote:

>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004

I've nursed in public often, although discreetly, and never had a rude comment.
A few double take/longer than normal stares, but nothing major. My 4 year old
recentlyt announced loudly in the middle of the store 'mom, she (dd#2) wants
some BOOB!', which got a few amused stares, but thats the closest I've come to
an odd comment...

cara

[Jamie Clark]

Wendy,
I haven't had the pleasure of any long term breastfeeding, but I am the
mother of a 17 month old. I think what happens is that your baby grows so
fast, and yet so slow at the same time. I'd imagine that nursing your baby
at 6 months isn't that much different than nursing that same baby at 7 or 8
or 9 months. The next thing you know, that baby is 12 months old -- an
arbitrary date, and yet still such a baby. The 12 month recommendation is
arbitrary, and mostly based on societal norms and pressures. To suddenly
cut off that closeness, that bonding, that comforting, well, it just doesn't
make logical sense. But that baby who nursed for food and comfort yesterday
at 11 months and 30+ days, isn't any different today, on his/her 1 year
birthday. That baby still needs food and comfort, and your breasts still
provide both. So you continue to breastfeed. Time passes. Maybe you cut
down the number of feedings, based on the baby's wants, needs, and schedule,
but you are still nourishing your child with your body. You do it because
it feels right and natural, and because you can. Time continues to pass,
and the next time you really look at your child, they've morphed into a
toddler. And then a preschooler. Maybe you've stopped by now, by your
choice, or by your child's choice, but if you are still breastfeeding, it's
by mutual consent and agreement -- both parties are benefiting from the
arrangement. Both parties feel the bonding, feel the love, and feel the
comfort.

I think where the cut-off is, depends on the mother and the child.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6


"Wendy" > wrote in message
...
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
> wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> wondering.
>

[zolw]

Sophie wrote:

>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004
>
>

I also would get ticked off at people who are so rude about the whole
breastfeeding isue. It is not like I am shooting a porn & if it turns
you on, then you are weird.

I never been in the situation, but I think that if someone says anything
rude to me about breastfeeding in public, I would just tell them that
they should keep their eyes away from me. Look away & it won't bother you.

[Plissken]

"Wendy" > wrote in message
...
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
> wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> wondering.

Well first of all the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for
at least two years. Breastmilk, contrary to what a lot of people think,
continues to provide wonderful nourishment and health benefits well past
baby's first year. Also, many mothers (myself included) enjoy breastfeeding
their toddlers. I'm sure the age that it gets "weird" is different for every
mother. I'm not sure what that age will be for myself. I hope to breastfeed
my daughter until she is 2 and at that point I will decide whether I feel
comfortable in continuing or not. I honestly cannot see myself breastfeeding
a 3 or 4 year old but I certainly don't judge women who do (and I'm not
saying you are judging them) and who knows, maybe that will be me! I think I
enjoy breastfeeding now more than ever. I recently started working full time
again and the first thing I do when I see my DD after work is breastfeed
her. It is a wonderful way to reconnect with her after being separated all
day.

[zolw]

Seriously? People actually have the nerve to ask such questions? Now
this is 100 times worse than rude comments about breastfeeding. Whose
business is it? Gosh, I would have lashed back at them. How rude. You
got me real angry right there.

I hope that you are not too sensitive about it though.

Phoebe & Allyson wrote:

>
> I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency did you
> use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though. Apparently nice
> Caucasian girls don't give birth to mixed-race children around here.
>
> Phoebe :)
> --
> yahoo address is unread; substitute mailbolt
>
>

[zolw]

Hi Wendy;

I have had the same question all along, but didn't dare to ask, cause I
might get shot at :))

Most research that I have read about breastfeeding assure that it is
actually recommended to breastfeed till the age of 9 months. Then 9
months or more than 9 months has no effect on the child's development,
as long as the child has spent 9 months. It has been agreed that less
than 9 months has a disadvantage on the emotional development of a child
(there has been some research that says that children who have been
breastfed for less than 9 months have had difficulties at school & in
life. I am not sure though how much to believe in that, cause that would
mean that formula fed children have a lower IQ, which simply isn't true).

I never breastfed (since this is my first child), but I hear from my
friends that did that they feel guilty when they think of stopping, also
it makes them feel closer to their child, also it makes them feel more
feminine. It hink that every woman may have a different reason for
breastfeeding longer. Though I can't understand why someone would
breastfeed for so long, but I guess if it makes them feel good, why not
(just not my cup of tea).

Mona
due 07-31-04

Wendy wrote:

> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
> wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> wondering.
>

[Nan]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 05:20:43 GMT, cara > wrote:

> My 4 year old
>recentlyt announced loudly in the middle of the store 'mom, she (dd#2) wants
>some BOOB!

ROFL! My 4 year old has done that, too!
She tells perfect strangers, "my baby sister smiles when she sleeps
cuz she's dreaming of boob".

Heh.

Nan

[Chotii]

"zolw" > wrote in message
news:PdUvc.47709$Ly.6121@attbi_s01...


> Most research that I have read about breastfeeding assure that it is
> actually recommended to breastfeed till the age of 9 months. Then 9
> months or more than 9 months has no effect on the child's development,
> as long as the child has spent 9 months. It has been agreed that less
> than 9 months has a disadvantage on the emotional development of a child
> (there has been some research that says that children who have been
> breastfed for less than 9 months have had difficulties at school & in
> life. I am not sure though how much to believe in that, cause that would
> mean that formula fed children have a lower IQ, which simply isn't true).

Mmmm. This is not accurate. And I am not flaming you.

Look. What is important to optimal brain development are the EFA's, the
essential fatty acids that are in breastmilk. They can also be put into the
child's diet in other ways. There are formulas which have EFAs added. Other
foods containing EFAs can be added to the child's diet. But the EFAs are
important, and yes they *do* affect IQ. See this article (which just to
reassure you, has nothing to do with breastfeeding, but compares
problem-solving skills in babies fed 'regular' formula vs formula with EFAs
added:

http://exchange.healthwell.com/nutritionsciencenews/nsn_backs/Feb_99/fattyacids.cfm

If you choose, or need, to feed formula, you will do best to feed your child
a formula containing EFAs. Will your child be a drooling simpleton if he
does not receive EFA-enhanced formula? No, of course not.

If you breastfeed, your child will receive EFAs without having to think
about it at all. Nor will you have to worry about constipation,
contamination, running out of formula at an inopportune time, and certain
other inconveniences and discomforts.

Now, to address the OP's question about why anyone would want to breastfeed
past a year, I can only tell you why I did (#1 until age 5, #2 until age 3
1/2):

I don't believe in calendars ruling my life. I don't give a damn about
Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving. I don't like my birthday. I don't
believe in due dates, and I don't think there's anything magical about a
child being 365 days old. My babies wanted to nurse, and I found it more
advantageous to continue giving them my breasts than to deprive them of it.
By the end, my then-5-year-old was only asking once a day, and then once
every couple of days, and then once a week. But she still would ask, and I
allowed it (briefly). I found if I refused, she sucked her thumb. She needed
*something*, and nursing provided it. I didn't want her to suck her thumb
because she needed something I could provide, but refused to provide. One
day she just never asked anymore. I can't tell you when she was weaned. It
was so gradual.

I had to wean my #2 because I got pregnant and my milk simply dried up after
a couple of months. She resented it and still (a year and a half later)
talks about missing being a baby, and missing nursing.

I can't imagine trying to find a better panacea for nightmares, scraped
knees, bruises, and bonks on the head. I can't imagine leaving my baby to
scream herself to sleep at night when I can roll over and let her nurse for
five minutes and have silence. I know no better way to get a cranky,
fighting-sleep baby to sleep. Or a fighting-sleep toddler. I can't imagine
trying to get a sick kid to drink that nasty Pedialyte stuff, when
breastmilk is the best thing for a sick baby, chock full of useful
antibodies. And it tastes good. I can't imagine giving those things up
because a calendar says it's time. I prefer to let my child tell me when
she's ready. They do; they will. Eventually, every child asks less and less.
Sometimes this is before the age of 1 year; sometimes as old as six. So
that's why *I* do it. And I will do it with the nursling I have now, age 10
months. It's good for them, and it's convenient for me.

Others' mileage may vary.

--angela

[Tatjana]

"Phoebe & Allyson" > schrieb im Newsbeitrag
...

> I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency did
you
> use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though.

Must be foot-in-mouth-syndrome!

--
Tatjana
PCOS - TTC #1 for 3 years

[melizabeth]

I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

Personally, I don't have a problem with NIP and anticipate that I will be
doing this when the time comes. I'm just curious. The only time when I
have done a double take is when a friend of mine BF her baby without
covering up in a crowded food court. I'm wondering how much discretion
plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.

I will probably cover up, but that is just me.

Please, don't flame me, I am just asking.
--
M~Elizabeth

To thine own self be true

[Jacqui]

Marie wibbled

> Isn't it interesting, the ones who are most concerned about it are
> mothers/MILs.

Not here, it's my Dad who's been the only person to make any
negative comment at all. He was also the only person to want to
touch my bump although he did ask first, at least. He got thumped by
T who was being very kicky that day. I don't think he disapproves
per se, he just worries: his comments have been along the lines of
"shouldn't you stop soon, he has teeth" and "will people criticise
you for feeding such a big baby in public?" (i.e. when T gets past
12 months). I think some of this is based on my mum's experiences
(she's very pro my NIP and extended BFing, as is MIL), and some on
the fact that I've complained about T biting me elsewhere. I have a
lovely set of teethmarks on my wrist as I type... but he's only
bitten me badly while nursing once. Unfortunately he did draw blood
but I think he's learned not to do it again. Being put abruptly into
the playpen during a nice sleepy feed was enough of a warning. :-)

FIL just avoids the subject entirely. He closes his eyes and falls
asleep if I feed T while he's in the room. ;-)

Jac

[Clisby]

Sophie wrote:

>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>

No - I've never gotten any comments about it, one way or the other.

Clisby

[Donna]

"Iuil" > wrote in message
...
> "Sophie" wrote
> >
> > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
> > to you? Just curious.
>
> Only my GP's receptionist (who really ought to have known better). She
> insisted that I would be more comfortable in an empty office than in the
> waiting room (3 other people, 2 men which I think was her problem). She
> actually took my carseat and changing bag and carried them into the
office.

Personally, I would prefer the privacy of nursing in an empty office, rather
than in the waiting room. :)

Donna

[Donna]

"Circe" > wrote in message
news:qSQvc.38406$oi5.25853@fed1read07...
> Cheryl S. wrote:
> > "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
> >> think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
> >> they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
> >> such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
> >> there's been no response or a positive response. I've
> >> had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
> >> either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)
> >
> > You and I probably give off the same "I dare you to say something"
> > vibe. ;-)
>
> Ditto. I've always figured it was the same vibe I give off while pregnant
> that says "Touch my belly and you're dead" <g>. I know I have gotten the
> occasional offended look, but only because my husband tells me so. If he
> didn't notice, I know I never would!

I think you must be right. I had the "touch my belly and you're dead" thing
going on now for two pregnancies (so far it's never happened), and I never
heard any negative comments, nor did I catch any negative looks when I was
nursing. Generally I was pretty discreet about where I nursed Sarah, but
sometimes nursing in public was unavoidable... like the time I had to nurse
her on a Southwest flight, in a middle seat, between two late-adolescent
boys, both of whom behaved beautifully. I swear, that one episode gives me
hope for the next generation. :)

Donna

[Donna]

"Jacqui" > wrote in message
. 7...
> Marie wibbled
>
> > Isn't it interesting, the ones who are most concerned about it are
> > mothers/MILs.
>
> Not here, it's my Dad who's been the only person to make any
> negative comment at all.

I have to say that the only person who was uncomfortable with my nursing was
my father, too. He never said anything, but he was definitely
uncomfortable. When I was with him, I would find a ladies room or go into a
bedroom to nurse Sarah. <shrugs> The guy is 70. I figure it's the least I
can do. :)

Donna

[Donna]

"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
NIP?
>
> Personally, I don't have a problem with NIP and anticipate that I will be
> doing this when the time comes. I'm just curious. The only time when I
> have done a double take is when a friend of mine BF her baby without
> covering up in a crowded food court. I'm wondering how much discretion
> plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.


I never used a sling, and I never really got good at manoeuvreing the baby
and the boob and the blanket. What I did instead was to find quiet places
to nurse, when in public (empty airline gates, the car, once on a bench
outside of the ladies room at a ski area - places that were as isolated as
possible given the fact that I was out in public), and I wore nursing tops,
which for me, being blanket-impaired <grin>, were a godsend. People knew I
was nursing, but good nursing clothing made the chances of me flashing
anything interesting nearly academic. For those of us who are a bit
reserved, but who can't manage blankets, nursing tops are WONDERFUL.


Donna

[Cheryl S.]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
> Circe wrote:
> > Ditto. I've always figured it was the same vibe I
> > give off while pregnant that says "Touch my belly
> > and you're dead" <g>. I know I have gotten the
> > occasional offended look, but only because my
> > husband tells me so. If he didn't notice, I know
> > I never would!
>
> Yeah, I must have the no-belly-touching thing going too.
> No stranger has *ever* touched my belly, and hardly any
> relatives have either--even the ones who would have been
> welcome to do so ;-)

No-belly-touching definitely must be the same vibe then because I also
never had anyone even attempt to touch my belly except one dear friend,
and Julie, who liked to "play midwife" by listening to my belly with her
toy stethoscope, measuring it with a tape measure, and taking my blood
pressure. ;)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Mary Gordon]

You need a code word! At our house, breastfeeding was called dee-dee
(we had a Filipina nanny who used that term with her own daughter and
it "stuck" at our place as well). That worked well, since when a kid
was begging for it out it public, or talking about it, it didn't sound
so bad (i.e. the miserable toddler yelling in the mall that he or she
wanted DEE DEE, or saying look Mommy, that baby is having some
dee-dee.

Mary G.

[Iuil]

"Donna" wrote> >
> > Only my GP's receptionist (who really ought to have known better). She
> > insisted that I would be more comfortable in an empty office than in the
> > waiting room (3 other people, 2 men which I think was her problem). She
> > actually took my carseat and changing bag and carried them into the
> office.
>
> Personally, I would prefer the privacy of nursing in an empty office,
rather
> than in the waiting room. :)

The seats in the waiting room were more comfortable and there was reading
material there. Plus it was more her attitude that I *would* be moving into
the office, whether I wanted to or not. The original offer of the office
should have been enough. Once I'd refused politely, she shouldn't have
pursued the issue and she certainly shouldn't have laid a finger on my
belongings. That was what I complained about to the GP, not the fact that
I'd been asked if I wanted privacy.

Jean

[Karen]

Ericka Kammerer > wrote in message >...
> Sophie wrote:
>
> > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> > to you? Just curious.
>
> Fortunately, no, no one's ever been rude to me. I
> think a few people have been vaguely embarrassed (not because
> they saw anything--just embarrassed that anyone would do
> such a crazy thing in principle), but most of the time
> there's been no response or a positive response. I've
> had people tell me they've encountered rude people, so
> either I'm lucky or maybe I'm just intimidating--I dunno ;-)
>
> Best wishes,
> Ericka

I'll join the 'don't touch me' club. NO stranger has ever tried to
touch my belly when pregnant and I've been pregnant a lot :-) My
mother is the only person who has ever touched my belly without
invitation. No one has ever said anything nasty about breastfeeding
either and I nurse everywhere.

[Cheryl]

On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:21:20 -0700, "Circe" > wrote:

>Cheryl S. wrote:
>> Wait, two weeks ago at Julie's preschool, another mom saw me sit
>> down to nurse Jaden and said, "I miss nursing." I'm pretty sure
>> that's the first comment anyone's made to me while NIP.
>
>I have actually had a fair number of conversations about this over the years
>while NIP, particularly as my babies got into the toddler years.

I've been very surprised when talking about potentially weaning my
daughter (currently 22 months) by the number of people, including
those who didn't breastfeed for very long, who ask why on earth I
would want to do that now. Even those who can't or don't want to
breastfeed often remember their time fondly.

--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

[Nancy P]

"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
NIP?
>

I've only used the sling once, as I'm just figuring it out. I don't use a
blanket, either. I wear a loose fitting top. I sort of hold the top over
the babies head, tent-like, while she's latching on. After that, the shirt
falls around (but not over) the babies head. The baby covers my belly, and
voila, there's no exposed skin. Also, you could wear a twinset, and the top
layer will cover any view from the side. Yeah, you can tell what I'm doing
if you look closely enough, but a blanket tells you the same thing (and
draws attention to it, IMO). As my first daughter got older, she started to
object to the shirt being near her face, and would pull it up, so things got
tricky and I all but stopped NIP if I could help it. But at that point she
was drinking cows milk and water from a cup.

Nancy

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

Cathy Weeks wrote:

> thought a two-and-a-half-year-old was shockingly old. She had heard
> of such things, but never knew anyone who actually did it.

I think it's weird too, but it was your kid and if you didn't, that's
what matters.

I couldn't imagine myself nursing a little kid at that age, because in
my family the children are shockingly articulate at 2 1/2 and the idea
of nursing a child who can have conversations about it with you, and
remember sucking on your boob when they are adults, gives me the willies.

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

cara wrote:

> I've nursed in public often, although discreetly, and never had a rude comment.
> A few double take/longer than normal stares, but nothing major. My 4 year old
> recentlyt announced loudly in the middle of the store 'mom, she (dd#2) wants
> some BOOB!', which got a few amused stares, but thats the closest I've come to
> an odd comment...

LOL! I'd laugh so hard! That is so cute.

[Sophie]

"Tracey" > wrote in message
m...
>
> "Kari" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Ya know, I'm almost waiting for a rude comment, just so I can say
> something
> > rude back. Im such a beeotch sometimes ;)
>
> LOL, me too. I keep hoping someone will say something rude to me so that
I
> can give them a flip comment, but it hasn't ever happened. I've had a few
> evil eye looks, but never any direct negative comments. I have had a lot
of
> thumbs up type responses from people though.
> Tracey in CT
>
>

That's how I feel now about soon having a "large" family. I want someone to
say "gee you sure have your hands full" just so I can rip them a new one -
lol.

[Sophie]

> Yeah, I must have the no-belly-touching thing going too.
> No stranger has *ever* touched my belly, and hardly any
> relatives have either--even the ones who would have been
> welcome to do so ;-)
>
> Best wishes,
> Ericka


I got my first unwanted belly touch!
I was talking to a woman I've known for 3 years. Her 5 yr old son "poked"
my stomach and said "what's in there?". His mom and I said "a baby" to
which he said "you're a big fat lady". SHE LAUGHED AND DIDN'T CORRECT
HIM!!! I was much more disgusted with her than him, for not saying anything
to him. Ugh!

[Sophie]

> FIL just avoids the subject entirely. He closes his eyes and falls
> asleep if I feed T while he's in the room. ;-)
>
> Jac

Lol!

[[email protected]]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...
> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Because you don't want to micro-manage the parenting of other adults
and it bothers you that other people do? :-)

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

Nope. A few months ago I was nursing at a coffee shop and talking to
my mom, who noticed someone look, then look again, then roll her eyes.
That's it.

--
C, mama to nineteen month old nursling

[Sophie]

> I've often though that if anyone did say anything negative I'd invite them
> to bring their lunch into the ladies toilet and we could chat about their
> problems with me bf in public ;)
> Amanda
>
> --
> DD 15th August 2002
> 1 tiny angel Nov 2003
> EDD 19th August 2004
>
>

Hehe, good one!

[Sophie]

> Here's my vent--I NEVER see anyone nursing in public. Thus I assume that
> people are either expressing milk into bottles for when they go out,
hiding in
> bathrooms, or just waiting until they get home to feed. The end result is
that
> a nursing baby continues to be a rare sight around here, which only adds
to the
> perception of NIP as shocking. I wish they would hold a nurse-in around
here!
>
> Leslie

I see it where I live, and I must admit I do a double-take. I don't expect
to see it here for some reason. As you all know, none of my friends are
American, they all breastfed - and in public. It would never occur to them
not to. And then just other women around town, I see it all the time.
Maybe not every time I go out, but I would say often.

[Sophie]

> "melizabeth" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> > please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
> NIP?
> >
>
> I've only used the sling once, as I'm just figuring it out. I don't use
a
> blanket, either. I wear a loose fitting top. I sort of hold the top over
> the babies head, tent-like, while she's latching on. After that, the
shirt
> falls around (but not over) the babies head. The baby covers my belly,
and
> voila, there's no exposed skin.

I had a friend who nursed like that. She was so good at it though that you
could be looking right at her, she'd just be holding the baby, then next
thing you knew, hey the baby's head is gone. She was so fast - lol.

>Also, you could wear a twinset, and the top
> layer will cover any view from the side. Yeah, you can tell what I'm
doing
> if you look closely enough, but a blanket tells you the same thing (and
> draws attention to it, IMO). As my first daughter got older, she started
to
> object to the shirt being near her face, and would pull it up, so things
got
> tricky and I all but stopped NIP if I could help it. But at that point
she
> was drinking cows milk and water from a cup.
>
> Nancy

Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.

[Shannon]

I was a lifeguard for 8 years and I ALWAYS got complaints about people
breastfeeding in public. A lot of times mothers would sit away from
the water and breastfeed while they watched their other kids swimming.
Our policy was to inform the person complaining that it was something
that the mothers had the right to do (especially since at the time in
Ontario it became legal to go topless so even that excuse could not be
used by the complainers). If they really complained we would offer
THEM and office to sit in until the mother was finished.

Shannon

On 2004-06-03 19:00:24 -0400, "Sophie" > said:

> Mini-vent coming on -
>
> As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes
> breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a
> baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to
> feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be
> better - ick!
>
> This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know
> what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want
> children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh!
>
> Okay, done, feel better :)
>
> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.
>
> Sophie
> #4 due July 7, 2004


--
Shannon :)

Please remove -NO SPAM from email address to email me personally.

[Ericka Kammerer]

Wendy wrote:

> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months.

You do realize that the recommendation is *at least*
12 months, not a recommendation to wean at 12 months, right?
And WHO recommends two years of breastfeeding.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...

> Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.

Interesting. Where you are it's so hot, I'm surprised. I could *never* nurse
like that. I'd be sweating bullets. I rarely see that around here (New
England), but bf is extremely common, especially in my town for some reason.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Ericka Kammerer]

zolw wrote:


> Most research that I have read about breastfeeding assure that it is
> actually recommended to breastfeed till the age of 9 months.

Benefits of breastfeeding have been demonstrated by
research through the second year. The AAP recommends at
least 12 months, then however long afterwards that mother and
baby wish. WHO recommends two years. You often see shorter
periods of time in research simply because that was what
they could get in the way of data (to research the value of
breastfeeding for longer periods of time, you have to have
sufficient numbers of women breastfeeding that long and
the resources to conduct the study for that long, which
is more difficult, particularly if you're conducting the
more rigorous prospective studies).

> Then 9
> months or more than 9 months has no effect on the child's development,
> as long as the child has spent 9 months.

This is not true.

> I am not sure though how much to believe in that, cause that would
> mean that formula fed children have a lower IQ, which simply isn't true).

This is also not true. There have been a couple of
studies comparing the IQs of babies who were fed expressed
breastmilk versus babies fed formula (both sets fed by bottle
to avoid the confound of breastfed babies potentially getting
more nurturing or more skin-to-skin time or somethen else like
that). The breastmilk-fed babies had higher IQs. The results
were statistically significant, though small (IIRC, around 5-8
points of IQ, or something like that). Obviously, any
statistical result does not mean that *every* formula fed
baby will have a lower IQ than every breastfed baby, nor
are a few IQ points likely to make or break any individual
child. But it does mean that the odds are with the breastfed
baby and it suggests an impact on brain development.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Ericka Kammerer]

Sophie wrote:

> I see it where I live, and I must admit I do a double-take. I don't expect
> to see it here for some reason. As you all know, none of my friends are
> American, they all breastfed - and in public. It would never occur to them
> not to. And then just other women around town, I see it all the time.
> Maybe not every time I go out, but I would say often.

I see a lot of NIP around here. The only thing that
raise my eyebrow was a woman at the dance studio who was,
shall we say, less than discreet. She'd nurse completely
bare-breasted. While I thought that was a big much, I
was pleased (and somewhat amazed) that everyone around
her (including dads) were very cool about it (even
though I could tell some were struggling ;-) She never
got a negative comment made to her in all the time I
saw her nursing. Hooray for tolerant people.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Ilse Witch]

On Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, Sophie wrote:

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

From the already 67 replies to this post, you can see how this is
obviously a big issue for many posters here. I say, if they'd want me to
BF in the bathroom I will gladly comply if the guest who complained takes
his/her meal and eats there too.

I've BF-d virtually everywhere, and only gotten friendly looks and
positive comments, thank goodness.

--
-- I
mommy to DS (July '02)
mommy to three tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04 & 20 May'04)
guardian of DH (33)

[Leslie]

Jamie said:

>I haven't had the pleasure of any long term breastfeeding, but I am the
>mother of a 17 month old. I think what happens is that your baby grows so
>fast, and yet so slow at the same time. I'd imagine that nursing your baby
>at 6 months isn't that much different than nursing that same baby at 7 or 8
>or 9 months. The next thing you know, that baby is 12 months old -- an
>arbitrary date, and yet still such a baby.
<snip rest of perfect explanation>

I couldn't have said any of that better at all.

I would add a couple of things.

One is that the health and nutrition benefits of bf continue as long as you are
doing it, resulting in a healthier child. My three year old does not like many
foods, but I know he is getting something good a couple of times a day from my
milk.

Another thing is that bf is such a wonderful parenting tool that it is hard to
give it up! For example, I can get William to sleep in five minutes or less.
He ASKS to go to sleep because he "wants Ba" and he knows that at night that
means bedtime. When he wakes at night after wetting the bed it takes maybe one
minute of nursing to soothe him back to sleep.

Finally, a nursing toddler just enjoys nursing so much. It obviously means so
much to them emotionally that it seems cruel to take it away from them before
they are ready.

Leslie

[Leslie]

> are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

Nope.

I used the blanket religiously with my first baby. It was always so hot, and
it was so hard to get the blanket placed right--I needed help to do it, while
she fussed--it seemed MORE conspicuous and attention getting to me than not!

With number two I dropped the blanket within a few weeks and never looked back.

I don't own any nursing clothes. They are too expensive and never really
worked well for me anyway. What I have is untucked relatively loose shirts
that I just pull up from the bottom.

In no way is any of this indiscreet. No one ever sees a nipple, and rarely any
skin at all when I nurse this way.

Leslie

[Leslie]

>
>I couldn't imagine myself nursing a little kid at that age, because in
>my family the children are shockingly articulate at 2 1/2 and the idea
>of nursing a child who can have conversations about it with you, and
>remember sucking on your boob when they are adults, gives me the willies.

Oh, but that's what's fun!

My 10-year-old, who nursed until he was three, soes remember nursing and has a
favorite tandem nursing story he likes to tell. I LOVE it that he can
remember.

And I love the conversations I can have with my current nursling. the things
he says are so sweet and make it so clear how much nursing means to him, like
"I love the Ba," and "When the new baby comes I will share my Ba with it."

FWIW, before I had a baby I thought it was weird to nurse a toddler. I figured
I'd be switching to bottles at 6 months. When I had a one year old I thought
it was weird to nurse a two year old, and so forth. IT just kind of grows on
you. Your baby is still your baby, at one, two, or three.

Leslie

[Leslie]

Sophie said:

>I see it where I live, and I must admit I do a double-take. I don't expect
>to see it here for some reason. As you all know, none of my friends are
>American, they all breastfed - and in public. It would never occur to them
>not to. And then just other women around town, I see it all the time.
>Maybe not every time I go out, but I would say often.

I have seen two moms NIP in the past month. I was thrilled and amazed. Before
that, in all the years I've had babies and paid attention to such things, I've
seen maybe 5 total (not including people's homes). I don't see them in
restaurants, I don't see them in malls, I don't see them at church--I don't
even see them at the pediatrician! What I do see are a lot of babies doing
that newborn hurgry cry while their mothers rush through whatever they are
doing so they can go feed them in private. <sigh>

Leslie, who once nursed a newborn, quite indiscreetly, in the checkout line at
Target because he was crying and his 7-year-old brother urged me to feed him

[Nikki]

Wendy wrote:
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they
> breastfed their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think
> breastfeeding is wonderful but I am curious to know why you would
> WANT to breastfeed that long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no
> flames, please, but is there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4,
> or 5 a little old to be nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener?
> And if people nurse children of that age why not go to 10 or 11?
> Where is the cutoff? Just wondering.

Nursing is not only about nourishment but comfort as well. A baby, toddler,
child experiences no negative impacts from nursing so it becomes illogical
to remove a healthy source of comfort if the child wants to continue and the
mother doesn't mind. 10yo's don't nurse because children will naturally
wean themselves before that. The vast majority of children will have self
weaned by 5yo, many before and a rare few will nurse a bit longer.
Philosophically I believe in allowing children to wean themselves. I don't
manage to do that but it isn't because I feel weird nursing a toddler. It
doesn't feel weird at all. When I look at someone else's toddler I can't
imagine nursing *them*. They look like someone else's big kid but my own -
awe, they are *mine*. I see them when they are sleeping, or need extra TLC,
etc. It feels natural because I've been nursing them since day one and it
has become part of our bond. I can't imagine nursing my 3yo now but I know
that if I had not weaned him it would feel natural. We do all sorts of
things with young children for comfort (rocking them to sleep, sitting on
our lap, reading them stories, singing to them, etc) and we allow the child
to just grow out of it naturally but nursing is looked at differently and
that is to bad because nursing is a *really big deal* to many children.

As I mentioned, I weaned mine instead of letting them wean themselves.
While I can't say I regret it exactly I wish I could have found a way to
manage. Nursing is a balancing act between the baby's needs and the
mother's needs. Eventually, for me, my needs won out but it would have been
better for them if I would have continued for awhile longer. It was very
hard on them. I think people have the impression that you can just decide
to be done and that is the end of it. Weaning a reluctant child sucks.
They cry, they develop negative behaviors, they are sad and confused, they
don't sleep. It isn't like withholding a candy bar because you are
withholding not only something *good* for them, but part of yourself. You
are there all day so there is a constant friction. It is like dangling that
candy bar in front of their nose 24/7 and still saying no. So for many
woman the babies needs win out over the mothers and then their children join
the ranks of 'extended nursers' :-) I have a lot of respect for woman who
manage with child led weaning. Of course some kids wean without incident
but many do not. I weaned #1 between 16-20 months and #2 between 20-26
months. Probably some of the worst times to wean an enthusiastic nurser so
mine may have had more problems then most - but that is also why there are
so many nursing 3yo :-).
--
Nikki (long winded this morning!)
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Nikki]

Sophie wrote:

> I see it where I live, and I must admit I do a double-take. I don't
> expect to see it here for some reason.

:-) You know what, even I do a double take when I see it and I NIP all the
time, lol. It isn't rare here but it isn't frequent seen either.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Jan Silbermann]

In article >,
Nikki > wrote:
>
>It is my belief that people upset by nursing in public may say they don't
>like it because it is indiscreet but I don't buy it. Nursing mothers don't

Yes indeed.
I am an Orthodox Jewish woman. I cover my knees, elbows, collarbone etc..
I showed much less when Iw as nursing than the average
woman woaling through the mall in her tiny shorts
and barely there top.

Jan
Tovah 13
Eliana 11
Asher 9
David 6
Shoshana 4

[Nikki]

Mary Gordon wrote:
> You need a code word! At our house, breastfeeding was called dee-dee
> (we had a Filipina nanny who used that term with her own daughter and
> it "stuck" at our place as well). That worked well, since when a kid
> was begging for it out it public, or talking about it, it didn't sound
> so bad (i.e. the miserable toddler yelling in the mall that he or she
> wanted DEE DEE, or saying look Mommy, that baby is having some
> dee-dee.


We used num-nums which worked well. I never called it boob at home either
though.

Doesn't help with the head dive and face plant to the breast though :-) Or
Luke, he apparently feels best if his hand can cup my breast - so annoying.
I'm constantly moving his hand and he hasn't nursed in a year. If I'm
wearing a heavy sweatshirt I won't always realize it until I get a weird
look and then I notice my 3yo has his hand squarely planted on my breast as
I merrily walk around the store.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Donna]

"Iuil" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Donna" wrote> >
> > > Only my GP's receptionist (who really ought to have known better).
She
> > > insisted that I would be more comfortable in an empty office than in
the
> > > waiting room (3 other people, 2 men which I think was her problem).
She
> > > actually took my carseat and changing bag and carried them into the
> > office.
> >
> > Personally, I would prefer the privacy of nursing in an empty office,
> rather
> > than in the waiting room. :)
>
>
> it was more her attitude that I *would* be moving into
> the office, whether I wanted to or not.

Oh, sure. I picked up on the fact that her insistence, not her offer, was
the problem. And I agree with you.



Donna

[Cheryl S.]

"Wendy" > wrote in message
...
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying
> they breastfed their babies past the recommended 12 months.
> I think breastfeeding is wonderful but I am curious to know
> why you would WANT to breastfeed that long.

Breastmilk is a more complete source of nutrition than anything else a
typical toddler eats. Breastmilk is more easily digestible than
anything else a toddler can eat. If the child gets sick with an
intestinal virus breastmilk is often the only thing the child can eat or
drink and not throw it up. See the thread, "OT: our scary incident
(long)" currently at mkb for an example. Breastmilk continues to help a
toddler fight off other types of diseases as well. The toddler period
is full of emotional upheavals and intense frustrations, so for children
who comfort nurse, continued breastfeeding makes those times much easier
on both child and parent. Also, for me, breastfeeding wasn't something
I did or did not do because of my own *wants*. It is my child's *need*,
IMO, and that is more important. I had expected to be nursing #1 for
two full years, but she chose to wean at 14 months. We'll see what #2
does but I would not attempt weaning prior to age two.

More info at:

http://breastfeed.com/resources/articles/extendednursing.htm

http://www.promom.org/bf_info/toddler.htm

> I'm not
> criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is there a
> point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people
> nurse children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is
> the cutoff? Just wondering.

Does it actually make sense to you to ask why people who nurse a 5 year
old don't go on to nurse a 10 or 11 year old? Because it sounds really
silly to me. There are a whole lot of things preschoolers do that we do
not expect a 10 year old to do. Children naturally outgrow many things.
For many people, breastfeeding is one of them.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Nikki]

Nancy P wrote:

I wear a loose fitting top. I sort of hold
> the top over the babies head, tent-like, while she's latching on.
> After that, the shirt falls around (but not over) the babies head.
> The baby covers my belly, and voila, there's no exposed skin.

That is what I do. My babies wouldn't allow a blanket anyway. Getting a
new breastpad in place and closing up the bra was more difficult to do
discreetly then latching and nursing the baby. The baby just laid there. I
had two hands stuffed up my shirt fiddling around with the other stuff :-)

It is my belief that people upset by nursing in public may say they don't
like it because it is indiscreet but I don't buy it. Nursing mothers don't
show that much skin and a nursing baby covers the nipple by default so all
they see is some upper breast and belly if they see anything at all. 17yo
girls walk around the mall sporting 20 times more skin then that and no one
bats an eye. Their problem is that they know that a baby is suckling at the
breast of a woman in front of them. They can't separate feeding a baby from
sex and they are offended that a women would allow her breast to be suckled
in front of other people. They can't *see* it but they know it and that is
all they need.

No one has ever commented to me but I think I'd ask them *why* they were
offended. I'd keep asking *why* until I got an answer or they left. Skin
is not an answer because I don't show skin when I'm NIP. It would be an
interesting conversation and I imagine most people would just stomp off in a
huff.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Sophie]

"JennP" > wrote in message
news:Rd%vc.7251$%F2.1643@attbi_s04...
>
> "Sophie" > wrote in message
> ...
>
> > Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.
>
> Interesting. Where you are it's so hot, I'm surprised. I could *never*
nurse
> like that. I'd be sweating bullets. I rarely see that around here (New
> England), but bf is extremely common, especially in my town for some
reason.
> --
> JennP.
>
> mom to Matthew 10/11/00
> EDD #2 10/24/04
> remove "no........spam" to reply


Yeah I'm sure it's not nice for the babies. Usually it's just a light
receiving blanket but still, I wouldn't want to eat under there - lol.

[Sophie]

> We used num-nums which worked well. I never called it boob at home either
> though.

I'll have to ask my friends if they call it anything. I've noticed quite a
few people here seem to have a word or phrase for it.

> Doesn't help with the head dive and face plant to the breast though :-)
Or
> Luke, he apparently feels best if his hand can cup my breast - so
annoying.
> I'm constantly moving his hand and he hasn't nursed in a year. If I'm
> wearing a heavy sweatshirt I won't always realize it until I get a weird
> look and then I notice my 3yo has his hand squarely planted on my breast
as
> I merrily walk around the store.
>
> --
> Nikki
> Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)


That might just be boys-in-training for later - Lewis does that to me - I
always carry him (he's light and it's easier than having to chase him) and
he'll have his hand on my boob. You just don't notice it - lol.

[Cheryl S.]

"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am
> honestly asking this, so please don't flame me, are
> you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

No, I don't use a blanket or sling. I just wear shirts that are easily
pulled up, and of soft enough fabric to drape nicely around and over my
baby. So any part of me not covered by the baby, is covered by my
shirt. I think putting a blanket over yourself is much more
conspicuous, just because people do not normally sit around wearing a
blanket, but often do sit around holding a baby and without looking
closely, I'm sure that is all it looks like I am doing.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

Mary Gordon wrote:

> You need a code word! At our house, breastfeeding was called dee-dee
> (we had a Filipina nanny who used that term with her own daughter and
> it "stuck" at our place as well). That worked well, since when a kid
> was begging for it out it public, or talking about it, it didn't sound
> so bad (i.e. the miserable toddler yelling in the mall that he or she
> wanted DEE DEE, or saying look Mommy, that baby is having some
> dee-dee.

My sister always called them ninnies instead of boobs.

[Marie]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 11:25:04 -0400, "Sophie" >
wrote:
>I'll have to ask my friends if they call it anything. I've noticed quite a
>few people here seem to have a word or phrase for it.

My older daughter didn't call it anything, but my youngest calls it
"boof". No one knows what it means unless I tell them. It started out
as boob and she changed it to boof at around a year old.

>That might just be boys-in-training for later - Lewis does that to me - I
>always carry him (he's light and it's easier than having to chase him) and
>he'll have his hand on my boob. You just don't notice it - lol.

My nephew wasn't breastfeed, and does feel women's breasts.
Marie

[Corrie]

"Sophie" > wrote in message >...

> Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
> to you? Just curious.

I have! Last summer my husband was picking out a rental tuxedo and
Sydney (7 months at the time) got fussy. I sat down in a chair, out of
the way, and began to nurse her. The store manager came over and asked
me if I would like to go in the back. I thought she was being nice and
said I was okay where I was. She then said sternly, "I would like you
to go in back." I asked, innocently, why? and she answered that she
had customers in the store (there was one other couple there shopping,
a young, hip-looking duo). I said that I wasn't doing anything wrong,
and she said "I didn't say you were doing anything wrong. I asked you
to go in the back." I said "no thank you," and continued to nurse, and
she left me alone. I was so angry I almost stormed out, but my picky
husband was in the middle of a fitting, and we were hot and tired and
so I let it go. I did write a letter to the company (after posting to
mkb about this and getting some great advice) but I never received an
answer or acknowledgement. GRR.

Other than that, I don't recall anything nasty. I've had a few other
store or restaurant people ask me if I wanted privacy, but nothing I
interpreted as rudeness, rather they seemed more concerned that *I*
was uncomfortable.

To answer some of the other questions in this thread - about cover-ups
- I usually don't use one as I think that I am pretty discreet,
despite having large breasts. I do own a sling and used it sometimes
when Sydney was little, especially when walking around - but if I'm
seated, I find it easier just to be free and clear of any blankets,
slings, etc.

And about extended nursing... I nursed Jake until he was 2 years, 9
months and would have kept going but it became very painful for me
during my pregnancy with Sydney. She is 16.5 months and is still
nursing a few times a day. I think Jamie and Chotii both had great
explanations of why nursing continues.

Corrie
Mom to Jake 12/30/99
Sydney 1/14/03
^i^ JM 6/9/97
^i^ 1/2002

[melizabeth]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
> > Yeah, I must have the no-belly-touching thing going too.
> > No stranger has *ever* touched my belly, and hardly any
> > relatives have either--even the ones who would have been
> > welcome to do so ;-)
> >
> > Best wishes,
> > Ericka
>
>
> I got my first unwanted belly touch!
> I was talking to a woman I've known for 3 years. Her 5 yr old son "poked"
> my stomach and said "what's in there?". His mom and I said "a baby" to
> which he said "you're a big fat lady". SHE LAUGHED AND DIDN'T CORRECT
> HIM!!! I was much more disgusted with her than him, for not saying
anything
> to him. Ugh!

Wow, that was rude of her! I don't blame you one bit for being disgusted!
>
>

[melizabeth]

thanks for answering the discretion and NIP question. Most women who I have
seen NIP have covered up with a blanket, had nursing shirts on, or covered
up with their t-shirts, like many of you have.

I think the reason why I did a double take with my friend was because she
didn't bother to cover up her breast.
--
M~Elizabeth

To thine own self be true
"Leslie" > wrote in message
...
> > are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?
>
> Nope.
>
> I used the blanket religiously with my first baby. It was always so hot,
and
> it was so hard to get the blanket placed right--I needed help to do it,
while
> she fussed--it seemed MORE conspicuous and attention getting to me than
not!
>
> With number two I dropped the blanket within a few weeks and never looked
back.
>
> I don't own any nursing clothes. They are too expensive and never really
> worked well for me anyway. What I have is untucked relatively loose
shirts
> that I just pull up from the bottom.
>
> In no way is any of this indiscreet. No one ever sees a nipple, and
rarely any
> skin at all when I nurse this way.
>
> Leslie

[Denise Anderson]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Tracey" > wrote in message
> m...
> >
> > "Kari" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > Ya know, I'm almost waiting for a rude comment, just so I can say
> > something
> > > rude back. Im such a beeotch sometimes ;)
> >
> > LOL, me too. I keep hoping someone will say something rude to me so
that
> I
> > can give them a flip comment, but it hasn't ever happened. I've had a
few
> > evil eye looks, but never any direct negative comments. I have had a
lot
> of
> > thumbs up type responses from people though.
> > Tracey in CT
> >
> >
>
> That's how I feel now about soon having a "large" family. I want someone
to
> say "gee you sure have your hands full" just so I can rip them a new one -
> lol.
>
>

Come visit me.. people tell me that all the time. I can't freaking stand
it. That and the "is this your last one?" Like its anyone's business. I
need to find something creative to say to the next person that tells me I
have my hands full or the next person that says, "Gee, no boys?"

Denise

[Bóliath]

Leslie wrote:

> NIP

NIP? Nursing In Public?

[Sophie]

>
> Come visit me.. people tell me that all the time. I can't freaking stand
> it. That and the "is this your last one?" Like its anyone's business. I
> need to find something creative to say to the next person that tells me I
> have my hands full or the next person that says, "Gee, no boys?"
>
> Denise
>
>

I got "I should hope so" when I said this was our last :0

[Bóliath]

Wendy wrote:

> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
> wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> wondering.

Thanks for asking that, I've been wondering too but not sure how to ask
without seeming rude.

[Sophie]

> I have! Last summer my husband was picking out a rental tuxedo and
> Sydney (7 months at the time) got fussy. I sat down in a chair, out of
> the way, and began to nurse her. The store manager came over and asked
> me if I would like to go in the back. I thought she was being nice and
> said I was okay where I was. She then said sternly, "I would like you
> to go in back." I asked, innocently, why? and she answered that she
> had customers in the store (there was one other couple there shopping,
> a young, hip-looking duo). I said that I wasn't doing anything wrong,
> and she said "I didn't say you were doing anything wrong. I asked you
> to go in the back." I said "no thank you," and continued to nurse, and
> she left me alone.

If you're sitting there doing it, you're obviously comfortable doing it
there. How rude.

>I was so angry I almost stormed out, but my picky
> husband was in the middle of a fitting, and we were hot and tired and
> so I let it go. I did write a letter to the company (after posting to
> mkb about this and getting some great advice) but I never received an
> answer or acknowledgement. GRR.

Now *that* would make me mad, to not even get a reply.

> Other than that, I don't recall anything nasty. I've had a few other
> store or restaurant people ask me if I wanted privacy, but nothing I
> interpreted as rudeness, rather they seemed more concerned that *I*
> was uncomfortable.
>
> To answer some of the other questions in this thread - about cover-ups
> - I usually don't use one as I think that I am pretty discreet,
> despite having large breasts. I do own a sling and used it sometimes
> when Sydney was little, especially when walking around - but if I'm
> seated, I find it easier just to be free and clear of any blankets,
> slings, etc.
>
> And about extended nursing... I nursed Jake until he was 2 years, 9
> months and would have kept going but it became very painful for me
> during my pregnancy with Sydney. She is 16.5 months and is still
> nursing a few times a day. I think Jamie and Chotii both had great
> explanations of why nursing continues.
>
> Corrie
> Mom to Jake 12/30/99
> Sydney 1/14/03
> ^i^ JM 6/9/97
> ^i^ 1/2002

[Denise Anderson]

"Sophie" > wrote in message

>
> I got "I should hope so" when I said this was our last :0
>

Agh! That would have made me mad. I'm looking forward to actually having
this one so I can once again deal with "Are they all yours?"

Denise

>

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Sophie > wrote:

*Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
*to you? Just curious.

Yeah, lots of times - but not about breastfeeding. Ha ha. But seriously,
folks - actually a relative of mine (by marriage) told me that it was
disgusting and that I wasn't allowed to do it near her. I ignored that and
did what needed to be done. Other than that, no.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Cheryl S.]

"Denise Anderson" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Sophie" > wrote in message
> ...
> > That's how I feel now about soon having a "large" family.
> > I want someone to say "gee you sure have your hands full"
> > just so I can rip them a new one -
> > lol.
> >
>
> Come visit me.. people tell me that all the time. I can't freaking
> stand it. That and the "is this your last one?" Like its anyone's
> business. I need to find something creative to say to the next
> person that tells me I have my hands full or the next person that
> says, "Gee, no boys?"

I get that "hands full" comment with only having two. Sometimes the
"are you done?" one too. So, I wouldn't take it personally. I would
even bet just as many people say, "one of each!" to me, as "gee, no
boys?" to you, Denise. :) Some people just seem to feel the need to
make comments, even if they have nothing useful to say.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Marie]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 09:43:10 +0000 (UTC), "melizabeth"
> wrote:
>I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
>please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

I used a blanket during the winter when it wouldn't be too hot. I
never nursed in the sling.

>Personally, I don't have a problem with NIP and anticipate that I will be
>doing this when the time comes. I'm just curious. The only time when I
>have done a double take is when a friend of mine BF her baby without
>covering up in a crowded food court. I'm wondering how much discretion
>plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.

At some point it's difficult to be discrete. It's too hot, or the baby
doesn't want cloth near his face, it could be anything.
Personally I think the idea of having to be so discrete should go out
the window...bottles and pacifiers don't have to be hidden.
Marie

[Maria Danielle Darst]

IME, I tried to use a blanket for NIP....but once DD got a bit bigger, she
seemed to get really sweaty with her head covered up. So we would use a
blanket for the inital latch on...then i could adjust my shirt to where all
you could see would be Kelly's head laying against me and we would leave the
blankie draped over her body to cover the rest of us. There were a few times
that I used the lounge area of a ladies restroom, dressing rooms, airplanes,
wherever. When she was hungry I would feed her.

DH was the one who would get all excited about other people seeing the
babies feed. (He was usually the primary blankie holder for the latch on if
he was with us :) My thoughts were 1. it's not pornographic....and 2. if you
are a grown man or woman and have not seen a breast before then maybe you
need to grow up a bit. It's not like I whipped off my shirt and bra and was
naked in the mall or anything...sheesh....that was before we had kids. *lol*
:)

DS did not take to the breast well and he ended up being FF. It's like he
couldn't settle down long enough to latch on, even with milk flying every
where.

FWIW, I never received negative comments about NIP or nursing in general.

Maria
Kelly 2/19/00
Kyle 7/9/01

For the record, I had no negative comments for my overall
"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
NIP?
>
> Personally, I don't have a problem with NIP and anticipate that I will be
> doing this when the time comes. I'm just curious. The only time when I
> have done a double take is when a friend of mine BF her baby without
> covering up in a crowded food court. I'm wondering how much discretion
> plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.
>
> I will probably cover up, but that is just me.
>
> Please, don't flame me, I am just asking.
> --
> M~Elizabeth
>
> To thine own self be true
>
>

[Marie]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 12:57:05 -0400, "Cheryl S."
> wrote:
>I get that "hands full" comment with only having two. Sometimes the
>"are you done?" one too. So, I wouldn't take it personally. I would
>even bet just as many people say, "one of each!" to me, as "gee, no
>boys?" to you, Denise. :) Some people just seem to feel the need to
>make comments, even if they have nothing useful to say.

I think it's weird for people to say your hands are full with only two
kids...I got that, too. Now that I have three, I was at the grocery
store and the cashier (an elderly lady) just acted in awe that, yes,
they were all mine LOL I do get asked if I'm done.
Now that I think about it, we all were in the store a few months ago
and this elderly couple asked if they were all ours, and made some
comment about "don't you know what causes that?" I almost said, "Yes,
F*CKING!!" but instead I politely smiled.
Marie

[Jacqui]

Marie wibbled

> I think it's weird for people to say your hands are full with only
> two kids...

Well literally speaking it's the obvious time to say it. One kid in
each hand (pulling in opposite directions, knowing kids). ;-)

Jac

[Nancy P]

"Nikki" > wrote in message
...
> Getting a
> new breastpad in place and closing up the bra was more difficult to do
> discreetly then latching and nursing the baby. The baby just laid there.
I
> had two hands stuffed up my shirt fiddling around with the other stuff :-)

I totally agree. I could be NIP and no one would know, but then I'm all
fiddling with the snap and stuff. I hate nursing bras for that. As soon as
I don't need nursing pads, I'll be switching to stretchy bras that don't
need to be undone. Then you can just pop it in and out without messing with
a closure.
Nancy

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
>their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is
>wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
>long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
>there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
>nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
>children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
>wondering.

The way I look at it is that it's like carrying your baby/toddler/young'un. You
don't just say "That's it, you're a year old/two years old/whatever age, if you
can't walk yet you should, no more carrying, no stroller, no backpack." You
gradually find yourself *needing* to carry them or push them in a stroller less
and less, that's all. Once in a while you might insist on their walking when
they perfectly well can, but you don't absolutely insist that they never be
carried after a certain age or dire things will happen! It's a natural
progression, you don't *need* to have any particular cut-off date.

--Helen

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>I couldn't imagine myself nursing a little kid at that age, because in
>my family the children are shockingly articulate at 2 1/2 and the idea
>of nursing a child who can have conversations about it with you, and
>remember sucking on your boob when they are adults, gives me the willies.

Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed? Seems to me if it's
okay to remember that Mom or Dad wiped your bits, and it's just an ordinary
childhood memory, not a memory of abuse, it's just as non-weird to remember
breastfeeding.

Incidentally, my son was not very verbal before he weaned (at about 2 and a
third), and he still remembers breastfeeding, or did for a couple of years
anyway.

--Helen

[H Schinske]

wrote:
>
>>I couldn't imagine myself nursing a little kid at that age, because in
>>my family the children are shockingly articulate at 2 1/2 and the idea
>>of nursing a child who can have conversations about it with you, and
>>remember sucking on your boob when they are adults, gives me the willies.

It also occurs to me that if you have children far enough separated in age, the
older one(s) might well remember the youngest ones breastfeeding. I don't see
anything in the least odd about *that* certainly, in fact I am extremely glad
that my daughters will remember their brother as a baby, and I hope it will be
of help to them if and when they have babies of their own.

--Helen

[Phoebe & Allyson]

zolw wrote:
> Phoebe & Allyson wrote:
>> I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency
>> did you use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though.

> People actually have the nerve to ask such questions?

Oh, yeah. I think in most cases they're attempting to impress me with
their familiarity with adoption and/or open-mindedness to cross-racial
adoption, though. Imagine for a moment that no one formula-fed without
a true medical necessity, so you never saw babies getting bottles in
public. If you were a mom who had to use formula, and saw a baby
getting a bottle of ebm at the store, you'd probably assume it was
another formula-fed baby, and attempt to make some sort of contact.
There really isn't much openness about adoption around here, and I hate
to get too snarky with someone who feels unsupported and is trying to
make contact or who is trying to be supportive of me, even if I don't
need the support.

> I hope that you are not too sensitive about it though.

If Allyson were bio-mom, I think I would be very sensitive about it,
because the implication is that I couldn't possibly be Caterpillar's
"real" mom. As it is, if people see Allyson with baby, they assume
she's bio-mom (which is fine with me, because as far as I'm concerned,
she's just as much mom as I am). If people see me with baby, they
assume I adopted, which is kind of annoying, but doesn't bother me,
because it's not true.

I usually just say she came from me, and move on. To the "I always
wanted an Oriental baby" lady, I said "Then get an Oriental husband" and
moved on.

Phoebe :)

[Phoebe & Allyson]

Wendy wrote:

> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months.

Actually, 12 months is the recommended *minimum* not maximum. And the
World Health Organization gives 2 years as the recommended minimum.

> why you would WANT to breastfeed that long.

Personally, I could take it or leave it, and when it comes to pumping at
work, I'm definitely on the "leave it" side.

But DD (who just turned 1) eats next to no solids, has multiple food
allergies (so it's hard to find nutritious foods she can eat), and needs
to gain 2 pounds to make it up to the 3rd percentile on the
weight-for-height charts. Breastmilk is the only thing she eats in
significant quantities, and it's definitely more nutritious than her
other favorite food - plain white rice. So she nurses 8 times a day
still, and on days when I work, I pump, because I'd rather she drink 5
ounces of breastmilk than get by on a tablespoon of rice.

> Where is the cutoff?

When it stops being mutually desirable. If DD weaned tomorrow (because
she switched to a healthy balanced diet), I'd be just as happy. If she
nurses for another 2 years (because we can't find a healthy balanced
diet that works for her and she's willing to eat), I'd rather she be
healthy than weaned.

Other people will probably chime in with emotional benefits. But while
DD certainly enjoys nursing, she's not a huge comfort-nurser.
Head-bonks are not a reason to nurse in her book. She doesn't nurse to
sleep except at night. For us, nursing is more about food than anything
else.

Phoebe :)

[Denise Anderson]

"H Schinske" > wrote in message
>
> It also occurs to me that if you have children far enough separated in
age, the
> older one(s) might well remember the youngest ones breastfeeding. I don't
see
> anything in the least odd about *that* certainly, in fact I am extremely
glad
> that my daughters will remember their brother as a baby, and I hope it
will be
> of help to them if and when they have babies of their own.
>
> --Helen

All of my kids have seen me nursing another baby, besides my youngest, who
will soon. My stepdaughter was the most in awe of it when she was 4 because
she thought I was part goat and still remembers asking me if I was part
goat. I'm glad that she's seen me nurse enough kids in the last 6 years to
know its just what moms do now though. My 5 year old says she remembers
nursing, but I think she really just remembers her sisters nursing and
assumes she must have too. Nothing freaky about any of it. I was nursed
till I was almost 2, and apparantly I was very verbal, and I have no
recollection of ever seeing my mom's boobs that way.. I guess I turned out
ok.

Denise

[Naomi Pardue]

>Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
>to you? Just curious.

I never got any rude comments or remarks, or requests to feed in the bathroom
during the 14 months I breastfed.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Naomi Pardue]

>I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
>their babies past the recommended 12 months.

Well, for starters, the recommondation ISN'T 12, months, but "At least a year,
and as long thereafter as mother and baby wish to."

> I think breastfeeding is
>wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
>long.

Why not? I chose to wean Shaina at 14 months, for a variety of reasons, but
there is certainly no reason to not bf longer if mother and baby with it.
Breastmilk is still good food for the baby, prolonged nursing has health
benefits for mom and baby.

>but is
>there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
>nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener?

I think the vast majority of kids wean themselves well before 5, (most wean
sometime between 2 and 4, I think) but for those who don't -- if it isn't
'weird' for the parties involved, why would it be a problem?

>And if people nurse
>children of that age why not go to 10 or 11?

Because the kids tend to self wean long before that point?

*shrug*. It's a cultural thing. I have an old edition of Spock in which he
says that babies should be weaned by 6 months, since 'the baby rarely asks for
the breast after that point anyway.' Of course, he uses the same phrasology in
other editions when he recommends weaning by one year ... or 2 ....
I have another babycare book from the 70's in which the author says that most
babies will self-wean by 4 months, and if you don't follow your baby's lead and
'insist that he continue', you are 'denying him his right to grow up.'

Yeah, we do live in a culture where bfing past a year (or, for many people,
even past a few months) is seen by many as being a little odd. But that
doesn't mean that it is, or that there is anything wrong with it.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Naomi Pardue]

> You know what, even I do a double take when I see it and I NIP all the
>time, lol. It isn't rare here but it isn't frequent seen either.

I see it very rarely around here. Sadly. Even at the prechool where I work,
mom's don't typically nurse their younger babies. (One of the teachers
sometimes nurses her toddler in the classroom. One mom had a baby in the fall,
and if he cries when she's there, she always takes him into an empty room to
feed him. Another mom just had a baby about 2 months ago. I don't even know if
she's breast or formula feeding, since I've never seen her feed the baby
anything!

It's vanishingly rare to see it in restaurants or malls or things, though I
often see mothers giving bottles in those places.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Circe]

Wendy wrote:
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they
> breastfed their babies past the recommended 12 months.

Actually, the AAP's recommendation is a *minimum* of 12 months, with 6
months of that being *exclusive* breastfeeding (i.e., no solids or formula).
The AAP's recommendation say we should breastfeed for a minimum of 12 months
and then as long thereafter as both mother and child want to continue.

> I think
> breastfeeding is wonderful but I am curious to know why you would
> WANT to breastfeed that long. I'm not criticizing their choice so
> no flames, please, but is there a point where it gets weird?

For me, it got a little weird when my oldest was just past 3yo. Partly, it
was because he was just a darn big kid and seemed older than he really was.
At the same time, his mouth was changing shape and his latch became a little
odd so that nursing him became uncomfortable for me. So, I bribed him with a
remote control monster truck and he gave up his final, morning nursing
session.

> Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be nursing?

If you look at the mammalian models, we really ought to be expecting to
nurse our young until 5-6yo. That's when the baby teeth ("milk teeth" in
other mammals) begin falling out and the adult teeth start coming in. Other
mammals tend to stop nursing their young around the time the milk teeth are
lost. So, really, 5yo is *not* too old to be nursing and, prior to the
advent of domestication of cattle and other milk-producing animals, it is
unlikely that people routinely weaned infants at anything *close* to 12
months of age, because human milk was the *only* milk children were ever
going to get. It's only the availability of substitutes for human milk that
makes weaning around the first birthday remotely considerable.

> How can you nurse a kindergartener?

Same way you nurse a 2 or 3 or 4yo.

> And if people nurse children of that age why not go
> to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just wondering.

Well, at some point, kids lose interest. They just don't *want* to nurse any
more. And that happens a long time before the age of 10 or 11 for
normally-developing children. Typically, left to their own devices, kids
will give up nursing by the time they're between 5 and 6 years old
(interestingly, around the time they're developmentally ready to give up
milk based on the mammalian models I mentioned above). After the adult teeth
start coming in, the shape of the mouth is really changed and no longer
conducive to getting a proper latch and nursing. So there really is a
natural end point somewhere between 5 and (at the outside extreme) 7yo.

Would I personally want to keep nursing until my child was 5yo? No. Sometime
in the third year is about long enough for me. But I don't think people who
do keep nursing until 5 or 6yo are doing anything weird or outlandish.
They're really doing what's most natural for our species. It's just that not
much of what we do is natural any more, so it seems odd to us.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Naomi Pardue]

>I'll have to ask my friends if they call it anything. I've noticed quite a
>few people here seem to have a word or phrase for it.

I always referred to it as Mama-milk, though Shaina wasn't really talking yet
by the time she weaned.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Nancy P]

"Leslie" > wrote in message
...
What I do see are a lot of babies doing
> that newborn hurgry cry while their mothers rush through whatever they are
> doing so they can go feed them in private. <sigh>
>

That could have been me (see below), although I NIP all the time.

> Leslie, who once nursed a newborn, quite indiscreetly, in the checkout
line at
> Target because he was crying and his 7-year-old brother urged me to feed
him

Out of curiosity, if you were at the grocery store, would you have done the
same thing? Its happened to me a couple of times lately, that my baby will
be hungry when we're checking out. I haven't nursed her, because I always
top her off before we leace and nursing at that point could take 30 - 45
minutes and my groceries would be sitting around spoiling. So I've given
her my finger to suck and made her wait the 5 minutes it takes us to get
home. (Once I get home, my DH is there to unload and put away). Plus, I
wonder what I'd do with my toddler who can unbuckle herself out of the
shopping cart if she's still in it at that point. One time it happened a
lady told me that my baby was hungry (she was doing the tongue-thrust, not
fussing or anything). I was thinking, "what am I blind?" but I gritted my
teeth and carried on.

Nancy

[Naomi Pardue]

>I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
>please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?
>

Never used either. Tried a blanket a few times, but Shaina wouldn't have
anything to do with it. And we never used a sling.
I just lifted my shirt, and nobody could ever see anything, unless they really
made a point of it!
(Once I was having lunch in a restaurant with friends. A male friend was
sitting right across the table from me. Shaina started to fuss, so I latched
her on. It wasn't until later, when she finished and I had to reach under my
shirt to rehook my nursing bra that he even realized what I'd been doing.)



Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Naomi Pardue]

>Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.

Though it's often been pointed out that using a blanket makes the action even
less descreet. I mean, how many mothers do we know who routinely drap blankets
and shawls over themselves and their babies when they are NOT feeding? The
blanket thing tends to scream out "Hey, look at me! I'm NURSING!". While simply
latching baby on and going about your business is far less obvious. It can
easily look like mom is just holding the sleeping baby.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[A&G&K]

"Cheryl S." > wrote in message
...
> "Wendy" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying
> > they breastfed their babies past the recommended 12 months.
> > I think breastfeeding is wonderful but I am curious to know
> > why you would WANT to breastfeed that long.
>
> Breastmilk is a more complete source of nutrition than anything else a
> typical toddler eats. Breastmilk is more easily digestible than
> anything else a toddler can eat. If the child gets sick with an
> intestinal virus breastmilk is often the only thing the child can eat or
> drink and not throw it up. See the thread, "OT: our scary incident
> (long)" currently at mkb for an example. Breastmilk continues to help a
> toddler fight off other types of diseases as well. The toddler period
> is full of emotional upheavals and intense frustrations, so for children
> who comfort nurse, continued breastfeeding makes those times much easier
> on both child and parent. Also, for me, breastfeeding wasn't something
> I did or did not do because of my own *wants*. It is my child's *need*,
> IMO, and that is more important. I had expected to be nursing #1 for
> two full years, but she chose to wean at 14 months. We'll see what #2
> does but I would not attempt weaning prior to age two.
>

I've read all the replies thus far and this was the only other thing I could
think to add to the AAP minimum 12 months / WHO minimum 2 years. I do
recall reading that the antibodies in breastmilk can tend to increase after
about 12 months. The antibodies alone are extremely useful when toddlers get
sick from a virus and are one big reason I plan on bf #2 a lot longer than
18 months. Certainly, DD only got 2 colds whilst she was bf, and managed to
completely miss the rampant stomach flu that the rest of the family (town,
country) came down with. She has had 2 colds since she weaned and they have
been more severe than her previous ones.

Breastmilk also has a handy way of having the right nutrients etc for the
age of the bf child. So milk being produced for a toddler is different to
milk being produced for a newborn. Its always on tap which makes for a
handy drink when you find yourself somewhere where the water quality is less
than ideal (for me its when we go to visit my in-law's farm .. they do drink
rainwater which is lovely ... but I'm sure they have never cleaned the tank
and it does make me wonder exactly what I'm drinking along with the
"floaters" in the water).

I would have liked to have bf DD for longer than 18 months, but my milk
rapidly changed to colostrum when I was about 3-4 months pregnant this time.
I think the taste and consistency ... and slower flow rate put her off, but
I'm hoping that she'll want to try it again when she sees her sibling
drinking from *her* "boobas".

HTH with some info for you. There is also a *huge* body of research on the
benefits of "extended" bf. People at mkb can help with specific references
and so can the ABA (http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/).

Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

[Buzzy Bee]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 17:20:18 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
> wrote:
> DH was the one who would get all excited about other people seeing the
> babies feed.

We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH spotted
a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't that great, she's
breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him (particularly given I of
course never have breastfed yet, so he doesn't have that "as a Dad"
experience of it). I was kind of glad the ILs weren't with us at the time
(we were on holiday with them, but had decided to skip the brewery tour).
MIL is not so convinced about extended breastfeeding so I am hoping it
just sneaks up on her ;-)

Megan

[Chotii]

> wrote in message
m...
> "Sophie" > wrote in message
>...
> > Mini-vent coming on -
> >
> > As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
> > people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
> > it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??
>
> Because you don't want to micro-manage the parenting of other adults
> and it bothers you that other people do? :-)
>
> > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
> > to you? Just curious.
>
> Nope. A few months ago I was nursing at a coffee shop and talking to
> my mom, who noticed someone look, then look again, then roll her eyes.
> That's it.

*Snort*

I think I'd thumb my nose, or put my thumb in my ear and wiggle my fingers
at anybody who rolled their eyes at me.

--angela

[Sophie]

"Naomi Pardue" > wrote in message
...
> >Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.
>
> Though it's often been pointed out that using a blanket makes the action
even
> less descreet. I mean, how many mothers do we know who routinely drap
blankets
> and shawls over themselves and their babies when they are NOT feeding? The
> blanket thing tends to scream out "Hey, look at me! I'm NURSING!". While
simply
> latching baby on and going about your business is far less obvious. It
can
> easily look like mom is just holding the sleeping baby.
>
>
> Naomi
> CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.

[A&G&K]

"Chotii" > wrote in message
...
>
> > wrote in message
> m...
> > "Sophie" > wrote in message
> >...
> > > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
> rude
> > > to you? Just curious.
> >
> > Nope. A few months ago I was nursing at a coffee shop and talking to
> > my mom, who noticed someone look, then look again, then roll her eyes.
> > That's it.
>
> *Snort*
>
> I think I'd thumb my nose, or put my thumb in my ear and wiggle my fingers
> at anybody who rolled their eyes at me.

.... ohhh, lets not forget tongue poking!!!!
Amanda (who's sense of humour is decidedly weird... but this could very
possibly be my response in a similar situation:)
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

[A&G&K]

"Ilse Witch" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, Sophie wrote:
>
> > Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything
rude
> > to you? Just curious.
>
> From the already 67 replies to this post, you can see how this is
> obviously a big issue for many posters here. I say, if they'd want me to
> BF in the bathroom I will gladly comply if the guest who complained takes
> his/her meal and eats there too.

Great minds think alike Ilse ;) I've never had to ask anyone to bring their
meal with me to the loo to discuss their problem with me bf in public, but
its certainly what I'd like to think I'd have the guts to do :)

Amanda (PS - how are you??)

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

[Phoebe & Allyson]

melizabeth wrote:

> are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

We took DD to a local ice cream maker's "Come eat ice cream for free all
day" party when she was 2-3 weeks old. At that point, I could nurse in
exactly one position, normally topless, and had never tried nursing
outside of the house. It was a million degrees (probably 95 and 80%
humidity), DD was hot and cranky and hungry, she wouldn't take the
bottle of ebm I'd brought, so the only other option was to nurse where
we were. I had my mom hold a blanket between me and the crowd while I
got her latched on, then tried to put a blanket over us. She wouldn't
nurse, I was much hotter, no blanket for us. One of the ice cream lines
was 3 feet away, and we didn't get so much as a glance. I never even
tried to use a blanket again.

I nursed in a sling a lot when DD was younger, because she'd sleep in
the sling and only wake to nurse back to sleep. I nurse in the sling
now, but that's almost as indiscreet as nursing while DD sits in the
shopping cart. Her butt is down below my waist, she's got my shirt in
both hands pulled up as high as possible, and her head and my arms are
the only things blocking the view.

> I'm wondering how much discretion
> plays a part in people's attitudes towards NIP.

I think the nursing mom's demeanor has a lot to do with it. If you're
acting embarrassed and furtive, people will try to figure out what
you're up to and stare at you in the process. If you think you ought
not be NIPping, you interpret those stares not as curiosity but as
lasciviousness or disgust. If you act normal and matter-of-fact, people
assume you're doing normal things, and NIP isn't what they assume.

Example: I was at the zoo with a mom from a local AP group and her 3
year old. Caterpillar was hot, cranky, and ready for a nap. So I put
her in the sling (sitting up), and she held up my shirt and nursed. The
other mom looked over and said, "Oh, is she sleeping?"

Phoebe :)

[Jacqui]

Buzzy Bee wibbled

> We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH
> spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't
> that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him

<VBG>

Jac

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

H Schinske wrote:

> Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?

I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?

If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
other topic. ;)

[Buzzy Bee]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 21:26:53 +0000 (UTC), Jacqui
> wrote:

> Buzzy Bee wibbled
>
>> We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH
>> spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't
>> that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him
>
> <VBG>

Yeah, you've been a great influence on him, but y'know, iuil is visiting
in a couple of weeks and she and 'Tis Herself were his first NIP
experience (in a Dublin pub when I was pregnant with Seoras). After some
rafter studying I think he got used to the idea and learnt how to have
conversations with their faces!

Megan

[Maria Danielle Darst]

"Buzzy Bee" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 17:20:18 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
> > wrote:
> > DH was the one who would get all excited about other people seeing the
> > babies feed.
>
> We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and DH spotted
> a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey, isn't that great, she's
> breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in him (particularly given I of
> course never have breastfed yet, so he doesn't have that "as a Dad"
> experience of it). I was kind of glad the ILs weren't with us at the time
> (we were on holiday with them, but had decided to skip the brewery tour).
> MIL is not so convinced about extended breastfeeding so I am hoping it
> just sneaks up on her ;-)
>
> Megan

*lol*

My in-laws seemed to be ok with my BF-ing. It made me nervous to do it w/FIL
or my dad in the room...but OTOH I didn't feel like I should have to leave
the room/conversation/ect for extended periods of time. DH was always there
and made sure that DD and I were comfy and not exposed. :)

But by far the funniest time I had w/DH was when Kelly was about 3 months
old and we came to visit my mom in San Antonio....and I had to bf on the
plane. He would see her fussing....then see me move her into
position...start the shirt lift and then jump into action with the blankie.
The only thing I could think of was "sheesh....people are trying to board
the plane here...get situated...they are paying me little mind (either we
were seated in a row w/only 2 seats or would have the middle and window
seats in a 3 seat row...so I was usually by the window and someone would
have been pretty hard pressed to figure out what was going on unless they
heard DH saying something. :)

Your DH seems to have a good attitude about it....hope he keeps the good
humor if you decide to bf as well....it takes it from both partners to get
thru the inital period... :)

Maria
Kelly 2/19/00
Kyle 7/9/01

[Denise Anderson]

"Shena Delian O'Brien" > wrote in message
...
> H Schinske wrote:
>
> > Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?
>
> I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?
>
> If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
> other topic. ;)
>

So far only one of my children has managed to be potty trained before 3.
One will be 4 in 2 weeks and she's no where near being potty trained. I'm
sure she'll remember having her diaper changed when she's older.

Denise

[Jacqui]

Buzzy Bee wibbled
> Jacqui wrote:
>> Buzzy Bee wibbled
>>
>>> We were in a brewery/restaurant in Belgium a few weeks back and
>>> DH spotted a woman breastfeeding a toddler. He was all "hey,
>>> isn't that great, she's breastfeeding". *Such* a difference in
>>> him
>>
>> <VBG>
>
> Yeah, you've been a great influence on him, but y'know, iuil is
> visiting in a couple of weeks and she and 'Tis Herself were his
> first NIP experience (in a Dublin pub when I was pregnant with
> Seoras). After some rafter studying I think he got used to the
> idea and learnt how to have conversations with their faces!

Oh, I wasn't aiming for sole credit! ;-) I know it's very noticeable
how much more comfortable he is now, though (and equally I'm far
more comfortable NIH(house) with him there, as I've got a lot more
competent at it since we first met!).

Now if I could just have got someone to NIP in front of DH for a
while before T was born... ;-) He's fine with people we know nursing
in front of him now but he was quite startled when we had all the
curtains back on the ward in the first few days and he saw other
women nursing. It was bad enough for him trying to get his head
around *my* doing it. ;-)

Jac

[Nan]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> wrote:

>If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
>other topic. ;)

Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3 years,
so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.

Nan

[Buzzy Bee]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 21:46:05 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
> wrote:


> Your DH seems to have a good attitude about it....hope he keeps the good
> humor if you decide to bf as well....it takes it from both partners to
> get
> thru the inital period... :)


Oh, I know I have his support, to the extent of telling his mother to ****
off if necessary. We had long discussions about that when I was pregnant
with S. And I certainly *will* BF just as soon as I get a child I *can*
BF - we both have a history of allergies, so its a given for us and one
of the reasons we hired our independent midwife (and will hire her again
even if we opt for a hospital birth, though thats not likely)

Megan

[Jamie Clark]

I think I remember having my diapers changed. I think I was potty trained
by 3 or so.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6


"Shena Delian O'Brien" > wrote in message
...
> H Schinske wrote:
>
> > Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?
>
> I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?
>
> If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
> other topic. ;)
>

[Tracey]

"Wendy" > wrote in message
...
> I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> their babies past the recommended 12 months.

12 moths is a reccomended MINIMUM, not maximum.

I think breastfeeding is
> wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> long.

Some of us had children that barely ate food and it was a good way to make
sure they were getting proper nutrition. Its also a great comfort to the
child.

I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> wondering.

The cutoff is when the CHILD decides it is. Its not wierd, just not what
you are used to.

[Sophie]

"Nan" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> > wrote:
>
> >If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
> >other topic. ;)
>
> Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3 years,
> so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.
>
> Nan
>

Yep Charlotte was 6 weeks shy of 3 and Patrick had been 3 for 3 months. I
expect Lewis to be the same <shrug>

[Cheryl S.]

"A&G&K" > wrote in message
...
> I've read all the replies thus far and this was the only
> other thing I could think to add to the AAP minimum
> 12 months / WHO minimum 2 years. I do recall reading
> that the antibodies in breastmilk can tend to increase after
> about 12 months.

I also just remembered and don't think I've seen mentioned that the
longer a woman breastfeeds, the more she reduces her risk of breast and
other cancers.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Circe]

Sophie wrote:
>> We used num-nums which worked well. I never called it boob at
>> home either though.
>
> I'll have to ask my friends if they call it anything. I've noticed
> quite a few people here seem to have a word or phrase for it.
>
Vernon calls nursing "side-sides", a derivative of the fact that when all my
kids finished on one side, I would ask if they wanted the other side. I do
love that he tells me it's "good milk" sometimes when he's done nursing. I
think it's really cute and can't really understand why so many people find
the idea of a toddler talking about nursing so disturbing.

I remember Aurora called nursing "gawk" for a few months before she turned
two. I have *no* idea where that came from. Then she called them "sides". I
weaned her at 27 months (same age Vernon is now, which is hard to believe,
since I can't *imagine* him being ready to wean for quite some time yet),
but she still calls breasts "sides". It was hard not to laugh when she
commented on the statues of naked women at the Norton-Simon museum by saying
"She has sides."

Julian called nursing "mooka sides" for quite a while. We called my milk
"mook" early on to distinguish from the soy milk he drank when I wasn't
around, and that kind of stuck.

I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and when I hear them
from the lips of toddlers, I can't help shuddering.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Tracey]

I
"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
NIP?
>

I rarely use a blanket when I NIP. I think that covering up with a blanket
actually draws MORE attention to teh fact that I am nursing.

[Circe]

Sophie wrote:
> "JennP" > wrote in message
> news:Rd%vc.7251$%F2.1643@attbi_s04...
>> "Sophie" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Most women I see, use a blanket of some kind.
>>
>> Interesting. Where you are it's so hot, I'm surprised. I could
>> *never* nurse like that. I'd be sweating bullets. I rarely see
>> that around here (New England), but bf is extremely common,
>> especially in my town for some reason. --
>>
> Yeah I'm sure it's not nice for the babies. Usually it's just a
> light receiving blanket but still, I wouldn't want to eat under
> there - lol.

None of my kids would ever stand for being under a blanket. And, currently,
I have to battle with Vernon whenever we NIP (which is more often than with
the older ones because having the older ones means we are out in public a
lot more often) because he wants to stick his free arm up under my shirt and
through the neckline, pushing it up and away from the breast. That makes it
a bit tricky to be discreet about what I'm doing, but fortunately, I've
never felt like I had to go to extreme lengths to be discreet!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Circe]

Shena Delian O'Brien wrote:
> H Schinske wrote:
>> Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?
>
> I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?
>
> If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
> other topic. ;)

My oldest trained at 3y1m and my middle at 3y9m. I don't think there's
anything particularly weird or unusual about training between the ages of 3
and 4. After age 4, you're definitely getting into the "later than average"
realm, but it's not all *that* rare.

I was potty trained at around 2.5. I don't remember having my diaper
changed, but then, I don't remember much of anything specific from before I
was close to 5yo. That's not to say I don't have some memories of special
events from an early age (I remember going to the allergist for the first
time when I was about 2.5, for example), but day-to-day stuff tend not to be
the sort of things children remember from early childhood. I don't
particularly remember going to the toilet when I was 3yo, either. Do you?

Based on that, it doesn't seem all that likely to me that kids nursed into
their third year would have particularly vivid memories of breastfeeding,
and that suspicion is borne out for me by that fact that my oldest, who
weaned at 3y2m, claims not to remember breastfeeding at all. Not that it
matters one way or the other, really. If it would be okay to remember having
your diaper changed or using the toilet, I can't imagine why it would be
*bad* to remember being breastfed!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[SuperEeyore]

Circe wrote:
> Vernon calls nursing "side-sides", a derivative of the fact that when
> all my kids finished on one side, I would ask if they wanted the
> other side.

That's how Juliet came to thinking they are called "nurse", from me asking
if she wanted to nurse.

Laurel


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.698 / Virus Database: 455 - Release Date: 6/2/2004

[Chotii]

"Circe" > wrote in message
news:5X7wc.39208$oi5.22082@fed1read07...
> Shena Delian O'Brien wrote:
> > H Schinske wrote:
> >> Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?
> >
> > I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?
> >
> > If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
> > other topic. ;)
>
> My oldest trained at 3y1m and my middle at 3y9m. I don't think there's
> anything particularly weird or unusual about training between the ages of
3
> and 4. After age 4, you're definitely getting into the "later than
average"
> realm, but it's not all *that* rare.

Yeah, None of mine so far trained before 3 1/2, and one was almost 4 (which
was a matter of circumstances, not her ability).

--angela

[Tori M.]

> The cutoff is when the CHILD decides it is. Its not wierd, just not what
> you are used to.
>
If I am understanding her question correctly what I got was this. Is there
a point where you feel like you did when you realized you where not suposed
to be naked in front of company. Not that being naked isnt natural but
maybe the time has come to put on a shirt... And what do you do if you
wanted to breastfeed until the child wants to wean and you realize that
maybe you are done by 24 months. I would think there would come a point
where modesty may kick in for some parents.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Tracey" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Wendy" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
> > their babies past the recommended 12 months.
>
> 12 moths is a reccomended MINIMUM, not maximum.
>
> I think breastfeeding is
> > wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that
> > long.
>
> Some of us had children that barely ate food and it was a good way to make
> sure they were getting proper nutrition. Its also a great comfort to the
> child.
>
> I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is
> > there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be
> > nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse
> > children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just
> > wondering.
>

>

[Circe]

Tori M. wrote:
>> The cutoff is when the CHILD decides it is. Its not wierd, just
>> not what you are used to.
>>
> If I am understanding her question correctly what I got was this.
> Is there a point where you feel like you did when you realized you
> where not suposed to be naked in front of company. Not that being
> naked isnt natural but maybe the time has come to put on a shirt...
> And what do you do if you wanted to breastfeed until the child
> wants to wean and you realize that maybe you are done by 24 months.
> I would think there would come a point where modesty may kick in
> for some parents.
>
And if modesty kicks in for a particular mother at 24 months, then it's okay
for her to wean her child. The breastfeeding relationship is a two-way
street and the recommendation is that it be continued as long as *both*
parties are willing. When one party becomes unwilling, whether that's the
mother or the child, it's time to end it. And the age of the child really
isn't *that* big of a factor, although obviously, the drawbacks to weaning
are greater prior to 12 months of age, simply because formula must be used
and because the health benefits are greater the younger the child.

Funny you should bring up the nakedness thing, because to this day, my kids
are used to seeing me and my husband naked and are completely unfazed by it.
I sort of expected that my oldest would start saying "I don't really want to
see you without your clothes on any more, Mom" by now, but it hasn't
happened yet.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Tori M.]

> Funny you should bring up the nakedness thing, because to this day, my
kids
> are used to seeing me and my husband naked and are completely unfazed by
it.
> I sort of expected that my oldest would start saying "I don't really want
to
> see you without your clothes on any more, Mom" by now, but it hasn't
> happened yet.
It was the only thing I could think of that would have a weird feeling that
was relavent;) Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if Jeff
has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

[Alpha]

> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
> NIP?

I have a couple of nursing shirts, but I hardly ever wear them. I just
pull up the t-shirt, get him latched, and try to arrange my shirt to cover
up. The problem I'm having is that DS has a habit of pushing my shirt up
towards my neck! And then for more fun, he'll unlatch and pull away.
Hello world, here's my breast. :-) This is the main reason why I like to
find a place that offers a little privacy when I NIP -- his nursing style
often makes it impossible to be discreet.

-- Alpha
mom to Eamon and Quinn

[Circe]

Tori M. wrote:
> It was the only thing I could think of that would have a weird
> feeling that was relavent;) Anyway I had always planned on not
> being naked in front of Bonnie when she starts to ask questions
> about parts. I dont know if Jeff has ever been naked in front of
> her... hmmm
>
Did you notice the story in my sig line <g>?
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Denise Anderson]

"Tori M." > wrote in
>Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
> Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if Jeff
> has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm
>
> Tori

Why? That's a pretty good way to learn about things, IMO.. and learn about
body acceptance and yadda yadda ;) My kids are used to seeing my husband
and I naked, not that we walk around naked, but its no big deal for any of
the kids to take a shower with me. My DH won't take one with DD1 now, but
she still sees him naked occassionally when we go to bed and stuff.

Denise

[Leslie]

Nikki said:

> Or
>Luke, he apparently feels best if his hand can cup my breast - so annoying.
>I'm constantly moving his hand and he hasn't nursed in a year.

Jake did this for a long time after he weaned at just over age three,
especially when he was upset--he would stick his hand right down my shirt!

He's ten now and he doesn't do it any more. :-)

Leslie

[Turid Mevold]

[Sophie]

| As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when
| people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly
| it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**??

Perhaps because you are a reasonable person? ;)

--
Turid Mevold /
«Queen of the Castle»

[Leslie]

Barbara said:

>I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
>though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive

Again we agree, Barbara! I am frankly amazed to hear and read about women
referring to their breasts as "boobs." To me that sounds like something that
teenage boys say.

William says "Ba," which was just babytalk for breast when he started it.

Leslie

[Leslie]

>NIP? Nursing In Public?
>

Yep. :-)

[Leslie]

Nancy asked:

>Out of curiosity, if you were at the grocery store, would you have done the
>same thing?

If I were almost finished, no. If it was going to take awhile, probably yes.

Leslie

[JennP]

"Tori M." > wrote in message
...

> If I am understanding her question correctly what I got was this. Is
there
> a point where you feel like you did when you realized you where not
suposed
> to be naked in front of company. Not that being naked isnt natural but
> maybe the time has come to put on a shirt... And what do you do if you
> wanted to breastfeed until the child wants to wean and you realize that
> maybe you are done by 24 months. I would think there would come a point
> where modesty may kick in for some parents.

IMO, modesty and breastfeeding have nothing to do with one another. My mil
told me that she was "too modest" to nurse. I was actually offended at that
(none taken by you, btw :) because apparently she considered me to be
immodest for feeding my child naturally.

--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Turid Mevold]

[Sophie]

| Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude
| to you? Just curious.

I missed this one.

Never. And I've BFIP in Orlando, FL and Washington DC in the US, and
in Norway, Denmark, Germany, Austria, England and Italy.

--
Turid Mevold /
«Queen of the Castle»

[JennP]

"Circe" > wrote in message
news:4O7wc.39203$oi5.38917@fed1read07...

> Julian called nursing "mooka sides" for quite a while. We called my milk
> "mook" early on to distinguish from the soy milk he drank when I wasn't
> around, and that kind of stuck.

I've known many kids whose word for nursing was "sides". Matthew was 16
months when he weaned, so he really didn't have much interest in it and
wasn't talking all that much. He was calling it "mookie" for a little while
though.

> I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
> though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and when I hear
them
> from the lips of toddlers, I can't help shuddering.

Same here. I don't refer to my own breasts as "boobs". JMO.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[JennP]

"melizabeth" > wrote in message
...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while
NIP?

Nope, never. I did practice at home a bit. I think nursing a baby without a
blanket or cover is much more discreet than with one. I know I've NIP'd many
times and during a conversation people said, "Oh, I didn't know you were
feeding your baby!".

With #2, I would like to learn to nurse in the sling. Not for covering
purposes though, purely for multi-tasking! :)
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...

> Yeah I'm sure it's not nice for the babies. Usually it's just a light
> receiving blanket but still, I wouldn't want to eat under there - lol.

I think I tried it once or twice in the beginning, but ds would have *none*
of that!
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Denise Anderson]

"Circe" > wrote in message news:4O7wc.39203
>
> I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
> though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and when I hear
them
> from the lips of toddlers, I can't help shuddering.
>

I can't stand titties, but I don't mind boobs.. DH calls breasts boobs and
now DD3 calls them "boobahs" which I think is hilarious, because if she sees
a preview for Boobahs on pbskids she gets all excited.

Denise

[JennP]

"Circe" > wrote in message
news:cR7wc.39205$oi5.2714@fed1read07...

he wants to stick his free arm up under my shirt and
> through the neckline, pushing it up and away from the breast. That makes
it
> a bit tricky to be discreet about what I'm doing, but fortunately, I've
> never felt like I had to go to extreme lengths to be discreet!

LOL! Matthew used to do what we called "freestyle gymnastic nursing". Laying
on his side, he would lift up his top leg and top arm and push himself up on
his bottom leg so his whole side was off of me. Think spread eagle arms and
legs except while latched on to me. I was pretty tolerant of that at home,
but when NIP, I curbed that pretty quick.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Circe]

Leslie wrote:
> Barbara said:
>> I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like
>> that, though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive
>
> Again we agree, Barbara!

LOL. We agree a lot more than we disagree, it seems!

> I am frankly amazed to hear and read
> about women referring to their breasts as "boobs." To me that
> sounds like something that teenage boys say.
>
I said vaguely offensive in my post, but I think I've decided that the
correct way to describe how I feel about the words "boob" and "titty" is
that they are vulgar words. And I just don't like to hear little children
(to say nothing of teens or adults) using vulgar words. I know a lot of
people don't object to "boob", though, any more than they would to, say
"pee-pee" for penis. I guess part of the reason *I* don't like it is that
"boob" is also a word meaning a foolish, uneducated person and I don't like
using that word for my breasts as a result. And "tit" or "titty" are, to me,
just plain gross words!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Ericka Kammerer]

Sophie wrote:

> "Naomi Pardue" > wrote in message
>>Though it's often been pointed out that using a blanket makes the action
>> even less descreet.

> It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.

But you don't see any skin even without the blanket,
or at least I don't show any skin while nursing without a
blanket and neither do most other women I know who NIP
(with a few startling exceptions ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...

> It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.

Other than your circle of friends who might be less careful about showing
skin because of a comfort level you have, have you ever seen the skin of a
nursing mother that you didn't know?

I'm honestly not flaming, just wondering. I know my friends and I are
"sloppy" nursers around each other because we all breastfeed and there are a
ton of babies. But I don't think I've ever actually seen the skin of a
random nursing mother. I know in public I was much more careful to cover up
than if I were at home or with my friends.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Leslie]

Barbara said:

>I think I've decided that the
>correct way to describe how I feel about the words "boob" and "titty" is
>that they are vulgar words. And I just don't like to hear little children
>(to say nothing of teens or adults) using vulgar words.

Yes, I would agree with "vulgar." I don't even like to hear my kids--let alone
adults--use the commonly used "bathroom" words. We use almost all scientific
terminology for these things around here!

Leslie

[Leslie]

JennP asked:

> have you ever seen the skin of a
>nursing mother that you didn't know?

I think I may have seen just a little skin. No nipples, though.

Leslie

[Tori M.]

yup.. I always thought that was funny... Kids really do say the darndest
things;)

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Circe" > wrote in message
news:2M9wc.39401$oi5.30909@fed1read07...
> Tori M. wrote:
> > It was the only thing I could think of that would have a weird
> > feeling that was relavent;) Anyway I had always planned on not
> > being naked in front of Bonnie when she starts to ask questions
> > about parts. I dont know if Jeff has ever been naked in front of
> > her... hmmm
> >
> Did you notice the story in my sig line <g>?
> --
> Be well, Barbara
> Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)
>
> Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
> Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."
>
> All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
> Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
> other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
> fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman
>
>

[Ericka Kammerer]

Cheryl S. wrote:
> I also just remembered and don't think I've seen mentioned that the
> longer a woman breastfeeds, the more she reduces her risk of breast and
> other cancers.

Yep, and significantly so! You get a reduction in risk of
7 percent for each birth and 4.3 percent for each year of
breastfeeding. I'm up to...a bit over a 36 percent reduction
in my risk for breast cancer. Woo hoooo! Let's see,
Barbara said she'd been breastfeeding for 70+ months, so
she's up to a 46 percent reduction. Who's holding the
current record on m.k.p? I guess if you have 14 pregnancies,
you're safe, eh? ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Tori M.]

"Denise Anderson" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Tori M." > wrote in
> >Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
> > Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if
Jeff
> > has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm
> >
> > Tori
>
> Why? That's a pretty good way to learn about things, IMO.. and learn
about
> body acceptance and yadda yadda ;) My kids are used to seeing my husband
> and I naked, not that we walk around naked, but its no big deal for any of
> the kids to take a shower with me. My DH won't take one with DD1 now, but
> she still sees him naked occassionally when we go to bed and stuff.
>
> Denise
>

Well, I supose the reason I chose that as a guidline because one time when I
was studying sexual abuse of children I ran across an article that said that
the child realising the differance between girl parts and boy parts was a
good time to introduce the concept that those parts are not for others to
see/ touch. I figured that that made sense so when DH and I where
discussing nudity in front of the children we both agreed that awareness was
a good time to stop nudity in front of Bonnie. I remember taking showers
with my mom and not being tramatized when I was in elementary school but I
have always been slightly immodest in general. I have had many "Oh my word
why am I dressed like this in front of all these people?" moments in my life
when something clicked;)

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

[Nan]

On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 02:39:20 GMT, "JennP"
> wrote:

>
>"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
>
>> It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.
>
>Other than your circle of friends who might be less careful about showing
>skin because of a comfort level you have, have you ever seen the skin of a
>nursing mother that you didn't know?

I have, but as has been pointed out already, it was far less skin than
is revealed by some teens wearing certain fashions.

Nan

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

Nan wrote:

> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> > wrote:
>
>
>>If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
>>other topic. ;)
>
>
> Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3 years,
> so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.

:o How normal is that? Are there stats? Of the 15 nieces & nephews I
have all of them were potty trained by 3 years old.

[Tori M.]

"Tori M." > wrote in message
...
> "Denise Anderson" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Tori M." > wrote in
> > >Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
> > > Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if
> Jeff
> > > has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm
> > >
> > > Tori
> >
> > Why? That's a pretty good way to learn about things, IMO.. and learn
> about
> > body acceptance and yadda yadda ;) My kids are used to seeing my
husband
> > and I naked, not that we walk around naked, but its no big deal for any
of
> > the kids to take a shower with me. My DH won't take one with DD1 now,
but
> > she still sees him naked occassionally when we go to bed and stuff.
> >
> > Denise
> >
>
> Well, I supose the reason I chose that as a guidline because one time when
I
> was studying sexual abuse of children I ran across an article that said
that
> the child realising the differance between girl parts and boy parts was a
> good time to introduce the concept that those parts are not for others to
> see/ touch. I figured that that made sense so when DH and I where
> discussing nudity in front of the children we both agreed that awareness
was
> a good time to stop nudity in front of Bonnie. I remember taking showers
> with my mom and not being tramatized when I was in elementary school but I
> have always been slightly immodest in general. I have had many "Oh my
word
> why am I dressed like this in front of all these people?" moments in my
life
> when something clicked;)
>
> Tori
>
> --
> Bonnie 3/20/02
> Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

I am in no way trying to imply breastfeeding or being nude in front of your
children is child abuse! I was just thinking about what I wrote and
realized that you could conclude that from my post. I did a paper in
college about Child Molestation for sociology and it was verry
interesting... Anyway I was molested as a child so I may be a little more
obsessed with instilling modesty/covering than the average person... I am
still trying to figure out how I can breastfeed without anyone touching my
breasts every day;)

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

[Circe]

Shena Delian O'Brien wrote:
> Nan wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
>> > wrote:
>>
>>
>>> If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a
>>> whole other topic. ;)
>>
>>
>> Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3
>> years, so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.
>
> How normal is that? Are there stats? Of the 15 nieces & nephews I
> have all of them were potty trained by 3 years old.

I've never seen reliable statistics, but my experience with my circle of
friends and family suggests the average age for successfully completed potty
training is between 2.75 and 3.25, with outliers on either side.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Cathy Weeks]

"melizabeth" > wrote in message >...
> I have a question for moms who NIP...and I am honestly asking this, so
> please don't flame me, are you all using a blanket, or the sling while NIP?

I used a blanket only when Kivi was a newborn, and she and I hadn't
gotten the hang of it yet - for the first few weeks, I had trouble
getting her latched on properly, and it often involved more than a
little latch-unlatch-latch-unlatch, until she got enough of my nipple
into her mouth so that it wouldn't cause me pain. But once we got the
hang of it, I found that draping something to "cover" up actually drew
more attention to it, and I learned to nurse discretely without it. I
suspect that many people didn't realize we were nursing.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

[Marie]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 20:38:20 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> wrote:
>:o How normal is that? Are there stats? Of the 15 nieces & nephews I
>have all of them were potty trained by 3 years old.

Some kids I know were trained by 2.5yrs (that was the quickest), the
ones I've known who took until age 3 or later took longer. (of course
it could be because the parents were wishy-washy about diapers and
underwear, confusing the kids)
My 20 month old has been using the toilet! (hehe, brag and now she'll
stop ;o)
Marie

[Marie]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 22:40:27 -0500, "Tori M."
> wrote:
> Anyway I was molested as a child so I may be a little more
>obsessed with instilling modesty/covering than the average person...

I'm sorry :o(

>I am
>still trying to figure out how I can breastfeed without anyone touching my
>breasts every day;)

Here's a couple of tips for that (helpful when having toddlers)
1. Don't let the kid find out he *can* touch them, and
2. Don't let him know they can both be out at the same time!
Marie

[Ericka Kammerer]

Circe wrote:

> I said vaguely offensive in my post, but I think I've decided that the
> correct way to describe how I feel about the words "boob" and "titty" is
> that they are vulgar words. And I just don't like to hear little children
> (to say nothing of teens or adults) using vulgar words.

Add me to the crowd as well, though I understand that
many other people are just fine with them and don't see them
that way.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Nan]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 20:38:20 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> wrote:

>Nan wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:27:56 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
>> > wrote:
>>
>>
>>>If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
>>>other topic. ;)
>>
>>
>> Neither of mine were out of diapers until they were well past 3 years,
>> so I imagine my 2 month old may be as well.
>
>:o How normal is that? Are there stats? Of the 15 nieces & nephews I
>have all of them were potty trained by 3 years old.

I don't think I've ever seen statistics, but I have a theory:
Kids in the same immediate family will likely be around the same age
at training time, as the parental guidance and influence plays a part.
I don't aggressively train, preferring to let my children decide
they're done with diapers. My thinking is they'll do it eventually,
and I don't want to expend the energy ;-)
So multiple children in a family (such as your nieces and nephews)
will not only be influenced by the parental efforts to train them
within their own family, but the 'norm' for your extended family is to
begin training before they're 3. Make any sense? If not, I can
understand, as I'm tired :-)

3 and beyond has been the norm in my circles, mainly because we all
seem to have the same line of thinking.

Nan

[Jill]

"SuperEeyore" > wrote
> I had to nurse Juliet in the narthex of mil's church. It wasn't very
> comfortable, and the room in the bathroom was yucky and filled with catty
> women. An usher came up and suggested we would all be more comfortable in
> the ladies room.
>

I don't know what kind of church that was (as far as what religion
etc).....but *I* would have suggested to him he consider having his next
meal propped up against a urinal, and hope he would have gotten the point
and shut TFU.

[Jill]

"Sophie" > wrote
> That's how I feel now about soon having a "large" family. I want someone
to
> say "gee you sure have your hands full" just so I can rip them a new one -
> lol.
>

Make sure the speaker means it in a pain-in-the-ass way though, lol. I've
encountered moms before who are herding around 3-4 kids and trying to keep
up with them etc, and I have said exactly the above-- but, it's very clear
when I say it that I mean it in a GOOD way. I've just been making
conversation and I always smile when I say it and mention that I'd love to
have several kids. I say it in a "wow! what a wonderful family, what cute
kids, I'm envious" way. I know what you mean though, a lot of people act
like it's a horror or something or a burden to have more than 2 kids. It's
not. I really do envy people with 3+ kids and hope one day I am fortunate
enought to have several kids like that, happy, healthy, and keeping my
"hands full".

So if I like run into you somewhere and figure out you're Sophie from MKP
after I've said that....don't rip me a new one, just let me borrow the kids
for a day. Lol!

I've always wanted lots of kids....I just didn't seriously want them until i
was ready to have them. I'm loving Rachel so much, I'm now ready, I've even
forgotten the pains of labor and discomforts of pregnnancy! So just keep in
mind that maybe someone who says that is joking or means it in a good way. I
am sure you get sick of hearing it though because Iknow you hear it all the
time.....it gets old.

[Jill]

"Sophie" > wrote
>
> I got "I should hope so" when I said this was our last :0
>

Pffft. I'd have said "*I* should hope you aren't so concerned with other
people's lives that are none of your business."

[Jill]

"Denise Anderson" > wrote > Agh! That would have made
me mad. I'm looking forward to actually having
> this one so I can once again deal with "Are they all yours?"
>
> Denise
>

Lol and to THAT, I'd say "No, they're not! I don't know where they came from
but this one here just showed up one day. You're very intuitive."

[Jamie Clark]

"JennP" > wrote in message
news:c6awc.3464$HG.868@attbi_s53...

> > I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
> > though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and when I hear
> them
> > from the lips of toddlers, I can't help shuddering.
>
> Same here. I don't refer to my own breasts as "boobs". JMO.




<Raising Hand>

I do. Around when my period is due, my boobs hurt. I got boobs. I don't
care what you call em. I'm not offended easily.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6

[Jamie Clark]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
> Sophie wrote:
>
> > "Naomi Pardue" > wrote in message
> >>Though it's often been pointed out that using a blanket makes the action
> >> even less descreet.
>
> > It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.
>
> But you don't see any skin even without the blanket,
> or at least I don't show any skin while nursing without a
> blanket and neither do most other women I know who NIP
> (with a few startling exceptions ;-)
>
> Best wishes,
> Ericka

No one is arguing that point Ericka -- someone said that nursing with a
blanket over your shoulder was even less discrete then not -- meaning, it
pointed out that you were nursing, whereas if you didn't use a blanket,
often times people didn't realize that the baby was latched on -- they just
assumed you were cradling a child. I think the other poster was just
clarifying their definition of discrete -- lack of skin, so that a blanket
would be, by definition, MORE discrete than without, even if no skin was
showing on either.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

Nan wrote:

> So multiple children in a family (such as your nieces and nephews)
> will not only be influenced by the parental efforts to train them
> within their own family, but the 'norm' for your extended family is to
> begin training before they're 3. Make any sense? If not, I can
> understand, as I'm tired :-)

Ok, that makes sense. Kids in my family mostly go the "Eww, yuck" route
and want to get out of diapers asap. The exception was my youngest
nephew who thought he wouldn't be momma's baby anymore if he let go of
diapers. Once my sister realized that was the prob she reassured him
that he'd ALWAYS be momma's baby and he was fine.

[Shena Delian O'Brien]

Jamie Clark wrote:

> I do. Around when my period is due, my boobs hurt. I got boobs. I don't
> care what you call em. I'm not offended easily.

I am not comfortable calling them ANYTHING. For some reason though,
"boobs" is a less offensive term to me and the one that I most commonly use.

Maybe it's cuz I hate 'em, and would prolly have 'em chopped off if I
weren't trying like the dickens to make them useful to my kid(s).

[Maggie]

Circe spake thusly
>>
>I said vaguely offensive in my post, but I think I've decided that the
>correct way to describe how I feel about the words "boob" and "titty" is
>that they are vulgar words. And I just don't like to hear little children
>(to say nothing of teens or adults) using vulgar words.

I'm the same. My BIL uses the term "booby" which really annoys the hell
out of me (and the rest of my family). Whenever his son looks hungry,
it's "he wants booby", and he'll repeat this ad nauseum. Thankfully he
hasn't referred to my breasts/son's feeding in this way. Yet. :/

--
Maggie

[Nikki]

Tori M. wrote:

And
> what do you do if you wanted to breastfeed until the child wants to
> wean and you realize that maybe you are done by 24 months.

You wean them if you want to. It is always a balancing act between the
child's needs and the mother's needs. Only the mother can really say when
the scale tips over to her side far enough to wean. That point never comes
for some and their children self wean. That point does come for other women
but at different times and for different reasons.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Nikki]

Circe wrote:
> Sophie wrote:
>>> We used num-nums which worked well. I never called it boob at
>>> home either though.
>>
>> I'll have to ask my friends if they call it anything. I've noticed
>> quite a few people here seem to have a word or phrase for it.
>>
> Vernon calls nursing "side-sides", a derivative of the fact that when
> all my kids finished on one side, I would ask if they wanted the
> other side.

Hunter never had a word as he wasn't talking yet. We came to num-nums with
Luke because he'd sort of make that sound when he nursed, num num num num
num with a little hum in the back of his throat. He saw a bra in a store
once and his eyes lit up and he said 'A num num holder' lol. Hunter was
always looking to score some num-nums for Luke when I was weaning him.
Hunter saw my aunt topless after her shower and he was so delighted "YOU can
num num Lukey", :-)


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Nikki]

Leslie wrote:

> Jake did this for a long time after he weaned at just over age three,
> especially when he was upset--he would stick his hand right down my
> shirt!
>
> He's ten now and he doesn't do it any more. :-)


LOL, well that is good to know! He used to have a small tantrum when I'd
move his hand. For awhile, I'd move his hand, he'd bite me, I'd meter out
whatever consequence I was trying at the moment, he'd get beyond upset, want
comfort after a time....and then where would the hand go for comfort? arg.
He's better now and we've agreed that he can lay his hand under his cheek on
my breast. That isn't so annoying because he isn't moving and it is a heavy
pressure and not a light one.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[Nikki]

JennP wrote:

have you ever seen
> the skin of a nursing mother that you didn't know?

I have a couple times.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

[cara]

Jamie Clark wrote:

> "
> > Same here. I don't refer to my own breasts as "boobs". JMO.
>
> <Raising Hand>
>
> I do. Around when my period is due, my boobs hurt. I got boobs. I don't
> care what you call em. I'm not offended easily.
> --
>

I got boobs too...this thread has been interesting...I think 'titty' or 'tit'
is crude, but I've never thought of 'boob' as a big deal. To me, 'breasts'
implies a chicken part or a little old lady with small 'boobs'. I also refer
to them as my mammaries.

cara

[Chotii]

"Jill" > wrote in message
om...
>
> "Denise Anderson" > wrote > Agh! That would have
made
> me mad. I'm looking forward to actually having
> > this one so I can once again deal with "Are they all yours?"
> >
> > Denise
> >
>
> Lol and to THAT, I'd say "No, they're not! I don't know where they came
from
> but this one here just showed up one day. You're very intuitive."

You know, I get the 'boy, you have your hands full!' thing all the time, and
'Are they all yours?' or alternatively, 'what, do you run a daycare?' - I
mean, sheesh, I'm only running around after 3 kids, with one in arms/in
stroller, it's not like I have 12 kids all the same age. But anyway....

I'll have to use this line. I do the innocent, baffled face very well.

--angela

[Cheryl]

On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 05:51:53 -0700, Shena Delian O'Brien
> wrote:

>I couldn't imagine myself nursing a little kid at that age, because in
>my family the children are shockingly articulate at 2 1/2 and the idea
>of nursing a child who can have conversations about it with you, and
>remember sucking on your boob when they are adults, gives me the willies.

I think it's weird too, but my shockingly articulate 22 month old
daughter is not going to give it up. She started telling me that she
"needs milk" when she was about 17 months old, tells me about my boobs
being "my milk" when I'm getting dressed or undressed, and refers to
me as "my milk" in photos. It's weird but it's my normal now. I
think I'm going to have to negotiate a stop date with her like other
women here have talked about.


--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

[Cheryl]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 20:44:29 -0500, "Tori M."
> wrote:

>> Funny you should bring up the nakedness thing, because to this day, my
>kids
>> are used to seeing me and my husband naked and are completely unfazed by
>it.
>> I sort of expected that my oldest would start saying "I don't really want
>to
>> see you without your clothes on any more, Mom" by now, but it hasn't
>> happened yet.
>It was the only thing I could think of that would have a weird feeling that
>was relavent;) Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
>Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if Jeff
>has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm
>
My limit is not when the kids start asking questions about parts, I've
decided that I'm going to put the onus on them. If they don't want to
see me naked then they can stop coming into the bathroom while I'm in
the shower! At this point I'm guessing it's going to be a long while
before they stop seeing me naked.
--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

[Jacqui]

Circe wibbled

> I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like
> that, though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and
> when I hear them from the lips of toddlers, I can't help
> shuddering.

Definitely a cultural divide here I think. ;-) "Boobs" is common in the
UK, quite inoffensive and not at all vulgar, girls use it among
themselves and I'd happily say it to most people I know (e.g. "Ouch, T
whacked me in the boob again"). I would not feel offended hearing it
from a toddler (although I won't actively teach T the word, and I don't
think we'll be referring to nursing by anything other than 'milk' if I
can help it, but that's for other reasons). "Tits" is a little more
irritating, and I would find "titty" very weird but that's because it's
a "Dirty Old Man" word IMO. (And it's the youngest girl in 'Swallows
and Amazons' but never mind.)

Jac

[Iuil]

"Leslie" wrote
> Nancy asked:
>
> >Out of curiosity, if you were at the grocery store, would you have done
the
> >same thing?
>
> If I were almost finished, no. If it was going to take awhile, probably
yes.
>
> Leslie

I used to bf DD while walking around the supermarket - I used a sling most
of time but sometimes I just carried her in place. I've also been known to
sit down on the floor in a quietish corner (usually the wine section ;-) ).
I got a couple of funny looks when I did that but no-one ever said a word.
The supermarket I go to also has folding stools at each checkout for elderly
or incapacitated cuctomers - I used those too :-).

Jean

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Tori M. > wrote:

*> The cutoff is when the CHILD decides it is. Its not wierd, just not what
*> you are used to.
*>
*If I am understanding her question correctly what I got was this. Is there
*a point where you feel like you did when you realized you where not suposed
*to be naked in front of company. Not that being naked isnt natural but
*maybe the time has come to put on a shirt... And what do you do if you
*wanted to breastfeed until the child wants to wean and you realize that
*maybe you are done by 24 months. I would think there would come a point
*where modesty may kick in for some parents.

You stop nursing in public if that bothers you. One of my best friends
still nurses her 3.5 year old, but I haven't seen her do it in at LEAST a
year - and it is NOT because she thinks *I* would have an issue with it,
because I totally do not. It's just because that is a limit she's set for
her child - you only get to nurse at home, in private, when mommy says so.

If you decide you are done by 24 mos, then you start weaning. Are you
suggesting one should wean earlier in order to avoid having to wean later?
I find that confusing.

My 19.5 month old daughter hasn't nursed in 3 weeks. I actively chose to
wean her for a variety of reasons (not least because she was no longer
thriving on a largely breastmilk diet, and started gaining and growing
more appropriately as we cut back on her nursing sessions and got her down
to 1-2 times per day; once we were down to 1-2 times per day, other issues
cropped up which made me want to finish with it completely). I feel great
that she had such a good long run of breastfeeding. I feel a little bit
sad that events conspired to lead to weaning before she was really
emotionally ready. Every morning, she still points to my breasts and says
"nurse, nurse" in a questioning tone; when I tell her there is no milk in
there, and that she isn't goign to nurse, she pats my breasts with her
hand and says "nice, nice," and she also likes to put her cheek next to my
breast, and sometimes put her mouth on my skin, as if she were going to
nurse, but not actually doing it. I'm working on ending this behavior as
gently as possible.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Tori M. > wrote:

*> Funny you should bring up the nakedness thing, because to this day, my
*kids
*> are used to seeing me and my husband naked and are completely unfazed by
*it.
*> I sort of expected that my oldest would start saying "I don't really want
*to
*> see you without your clothes on any more, Mom" by now, but it hasn't
*> happened yet.
*It was the only thing I could think of that would have a weird feeling that
*was relavent;) Anyway I had always planned on not being naked in front of
*Bonnie when she starts to ask questions about parts. I dont know if Jeff
*has ever been naked in front of her... hmmm

Our kids see us naked. The older (3.5 yrs) is pretty much over the
questioning about parts stage (IIRC he started in on that at 2). The
younger isn't there yet.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
Nancy P > wrote:

*Out of curiosity, if you were at the grocery store, would you have done the
*same thing? Its happened to me a couple of times lately, that my baby will
*be hungry when we're checking out. I haven't nursed her, because I always

I've nursed in the checkout line. Put toddler in cart-seat. Latch baby on.
Let cashier and bagger do their thing. Pay awkwardly with one hand.
Slowly, slowly, slowly navigate cart with fingertips and knees back to
car. Unlatch baby, put in car seat, unload groceries into car, put toddler
in car seat, go home, unload, finish nursing. :)

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Cheryl S.]

"Maggie" > wrote in message
...
> I'm the same. My BIL uses the term "booby" which
> really annoys the hell out of me (and the rest of my
> family). Whenever his son looks hungry, it's "he wants
> booby", and he'll repeat this ad nauseum. Thankfully he
> hasn't referred to my breasts/son's feeding in this way. Yet. :/

Third grade humor is sooooo becoming of adults. Not.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months

[Sophie]

> Make sure the speaker means it in a pain-in-the-ass way though, lol. I've
> encountered moms before who are herding around 3-4 kids and trying to keep
> up with them etc, and I have said exactly the above-- but, it's very clear
> when I say it that I mean it in a GOOD way. I've just been making
> conversation and I always smile when I say it and mention that I'd love to
> have several kids. I say it in a "wow! what a wonderful family, what cute
> kids, I'm envious" way. I know what you mean though, a lot of people act
> like it's a horror or something or a burden to have more than 2 kids. It's
> not. I really do envy people with 3+ kids and hope one day I am fortunate
> enought to have several kids like that, happy, healthy, and keeping my
> "hands full".

When you're hearing it for the 200th time that day, you don't *care* if it's
meant in a nice way - honestly. it's as annoying as being a military wife
and being asked "how do you do it?". Uh cos I have to! I don't know why
people think 'so many" kids is so hard.

Saying "wow" is fine. I even do that. I've been running into lots of women
lately with 5 kids and I say "wow" then explain I'm having my 4th, you don't
see many women here with more than 2 or 3 kids, etc...They ever seem
offended. Go to a large family forum though - "gee you sure have your hands
full" is the #1 most hated comment.


> So if I like run into you somewhere and figure out you're Sophie from MKP
> after I've said that....don't rip me a new one, just let me borrow the
kids
> for a day. Lol!

Deal! Lol.

> I've always wanted lots of kids....I just didn't seriously want them until
i
> was ready to have them. I'm loving Rachel so much, I'm now ready, I've
even
> forgotten the pains of labor and discomforts of pregnnancy! So just keep
in
> mind that maybe someone who says that is joking or means it in a good way.
I
> am sure you get sick of hearing it though because Iknow you hear it all
the
> time.....it gets old.

Nope, sorry, people say it cos they think you're nuts, it's really that
simple.

[Sophie]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
> Sophie wrote:
>
> > "Naomi Pardue" > wrote in message
> >>Though it's often been pointed out that using a blanket makes the action
> >> even less descreet.
>
> > It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.
>
> But you don't see any skin even without the blanket,
> or at least I don't show any skin while nursing without a
> blanket and neither do most other women I know who NIP
> (with a few startling exceptions ;-)
>
> Best wishes,
> Ericka
>

Well how timely, I was at a pot-luck lunch yesterday and a woman was nursing
her 5 *year* old. No I had never seen that before! And you could see
everything. Sooo..she was actually really interesting. She has 3 children,
had her last at 43 which got a huge WOW from me (cos that made her 48 now) -
lol. Most people here are retired at 38 so I don't even *know* anyone older
than that - lol. It was fascinating watching everyone trying not to look -
lol.

[Sophie]

"JennP" > wrote in message
news:snawc.8337$Sw.6712@attbi_s51...
>
> "Sophie" > wrote in message
> ...
>
> > It's discrete to me in that you don't see any skin.
>
> Other than your circle of friends who might be less careful about showing
> skin because of a comfort level you have, have you ever seen the skin of a
> nursing mother that you didn't know?

Yes just yesterday. A woman I just met yesterday was nuring her 5 yr old,
we all saw everything.

> I'm honestly not flaming, just wondering. I know my friends and I are
> "sloppy" nursers around each other because we all breastfeed and there are
a
> ton of babies. But I don't think I've ever actually seen the skin of a
> random nursing mother. I know in public I was much more careful to cover
up
> than if I were at home or with my friends.
> --
> JennP.

I don't see the skin of my friends either now I think about it - some use
blankets, some don't.

[Sophie]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
> Circe wrote:
>
> > I said vaguely offensive in my post, but I think I've decided that the
> > correct way to describe how I feel about the words "boob" and "titty" is
> > that they are vulgar words. And I just don't like to hear little
children
> > (to say nothing of teens or adults) using vulgar words.
>
> Add me to the crowd as well, though I understand that
> many other people are just fine with them and don't see them
> that way.
>
> Best wishes,
> Ericka
>

Well I call them boobs and my down there, my down there, so there! Lol.

The kids call them the correct words. Not everyone uses the same slang, so
if something were going on (abuse) I'd like the kids to use the correct
words so they weren't misunderstood.

[Sophie]

> Hunter never had a word as he wasn't talking yet. We came to num-nums
with
> Luke because he'd sort of make that sound when he nursed, num num num num
> num with a little hum in the back of his throat. He saw a bra in a store
> once and his eyes lit up and he said 'A num num holder' lol. Hunter was
> always looking to score some num-nums for Luke when I was weaning him.
> Hunter saw my aunt topless after her shower and he was so delighted "YOU
can
> num num Lukey", :-)
>
>
> --
> Nikki
> Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)


Num num holder - LOL! That's great!

[Sophie]

> I don't think I've ever seen statistics, but I have a theory:
> Kids in the same immediate family will likely be around the same age
> at training time, as the parental guidance and influence plays a part.
> I don't aggressively train, preferring to let my children decide
> they're done with diapers. My thinking is they'll do it eventually,
> and I don't want to expend the energy ;-)
> So multiple children in a family (such as your nieces and nephews)
> will not only be influenced by the parental efforts to train them
> within their own family, but the 'norm' for your extended family is to
> begin training before they're 3. Make any sense? If not, I can
> understand, as I'm tired :-)
>
> 3 and beyond has been the norm in my circles, mainly because we all
> seem to have the same line of thinking.
>
> Nan


Exactly the same here. The big motivator in getting kids potty trained
before 3 where I live is for daycare playgroups. They have to be 3 *and*
potty trained. I've had one friend *make* her son train (that was *awful*)
so he could go. I guess I lucked out with Patrick (and soon with Lewis)
that their birthdays are past the cut-off so they're with younger kids who
are still getting diaper changes, therefore they don't have to be potty
trained. Charlotte was with her own age group, and she was trained just
before 3.

I really can't think of anyone whose kids were trained much more before 3.
Most were between 3 and 3.5.

[Cathy Weeks]

"Circe" > wrote in message news:<4O7wc.39203$oi5.38917@fed1read07>...

> I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
> though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive, and when I hear them
> from the lips of toddlers, I can't help shuddering.

Kivi uses both Breasts and Boobs, since we use them pretty
interchangably. Deess is her word for nursing, and one day about a
week ago, when Chris picked her up from daycare, she said "I want to
go home and deess Mommy's boobs," which I thought was cute. A couple
of months ago, we went to a restaurant right after picking her up, and
so she had her hello nurse in the restaurant. And she said in a very
loud voice "Mommy, get your breasts out!" (I was a bit pink cheeked at
that one). The latter was surprising, because normally, she just asks
to deess.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

[Cathy Weeks]

(Leslie) wrote in message >...
> Barbara said:
>
> >I *never* refer to it as the "boob" or "titty" or anything like that,
> >though. I actually find those words vaguely offensive
>
> Again we agree, Barbara! I am frankly amazed to hear and read about women
> referring to their breasts as "boobs." To me that sounds like something that
> teenage boys say.

Nah, not around here. Boobs is much more used by females. The men
I've known prefer "tits," which seems much more offensive than boobs.

Cathy Weeks
Mommyt to Kivi Alexis 12/01

[Jill]

"Sophie" > wrote
>
> When you're hearing it for the 200th time that day, you don't *care* if
it's
> meant in a nice way - honestly. it's as annoying as being a military wife
> and being asked "how do you do it?". Uh cos I have to! I don't know why
> people think 'so many" kids is so hard.
>

Lol. I can totally see this. I will keep this in mind before I do say it to
someone...what's a better thing to say? hmmm....probably just a simple "Your
kids are so adorable", lol.

:-)

BTW, my niece told me I had a big fat stomach after she asked me where the
baby was and I told her, and she was almost 7 years old! lol!

Jill

[Circe]

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
> Cheryl S. wrote:
>> I also just remembered and don't think I've seen mentioned that the
>> longer a woman breastfeeds, the more she reduces her risk of
>> breast and other cancers.
>
> Yep, and significantly so! You get a reduction in risk of
> 7 percent for each birth and 4.3 percent for each year of
> breastfeeding. I'm up to...a bit over a 36 percent reduction
> in my risk for breast cancer. Woo hoooo! Let's see,
> Barbara said she'd been breastfeeding for 70+ months, so
> she's up to a 46 percent reduction.

Of course, about 13 months of my three pregnancies overlapped with my
breastfeeding months, which may skew the equation somewhat. Still, I'm not
particularly concerned about getting breast cancer. None of the women in my
immediate family have ever had it over several generations, so I think I'm
at a fairly low risk to begin with. Plus, I think the asthma will probably
get me first!

> Who's holding the
> current record on m.k.p?

I know it's not me. I think Mary Gordon has said she breastfed her three for
a total of about 10 years. And I'm sure moms like Andrea and Stephanie J.
have me beat by miles.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

[Denise Anderson]

"Jill" > wrote in message
om...
>
> "Sophie" >
>
> :-)
>
> BTW, my niece told me I had a big fat stomach after she asked me where
the
> baby was and I told her, and she was almost 7 years old! lol!
>
> Jill
>
>

I like it when people tell me I have a beautiful family. To me, that's a
compliment. To hear, "Wow, your hands are really full," for the 50th time
in a day does nothing but make me want to pull someone's hair out,
regardless of how they might mean it. And I'm with Sophie on the "How do
you do it?" thing for military spouses. Do I have a choice? What am I
gonna stomp my feet till my husband comes home, or deal with it and be happy
for the next 5 years?

Anyway, that's my rant :)

Denise

[Sophie]

> I like it when people tell me I have a beautiful family. To me, that's a
> compliment. To hear, "Wow, your hands are really full," for the 50th time
> in a day does nothing but make me want to pull someone's hair out,
> regardless of how they might mean it. And I'm with Sophie on the "How do
> you do it?" thing for military spouses. Do I have a choice? What am I
> gonna stomp my feet till my husband comes home, or deal with it and be
happy
> for the next 5 years?
>
> Anyway, that's my rant :)
>
> Denise
>
>

You only have 5 yrs left?? Ugh, we've got 9. :0

[Denise Anderson]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...

> >
> >
>
> You only have 5 yrs left?? Ugh, we've got 9. :0
>
>

I was smart and married an old guy :) He got all the crappy work out of the
way with his first wife. Now I can enjoy the last shore duty rotation and
retirement. Of course I also got the only year long deployment, so maybe I
didn't get the best end of the deal. When he only had 10 in, 10 more seemed
like soooo long. With all he has to get done before he retires (finishing
his degree and stuff) 5 doesn't seem like much at all and its almost scary.

Denise

[Tori M.]

> If you decide you are done by 24 mos, then you start weaning. Are you
> suggesting one should wean earlier in order to avoid having to wean later?
> I find that confusing.
No I was thinking that for some there would be a time where nursing sudenly
became uncomfortable and wondering what they should do if their goal was to
let the child lead the weaning. I think people have answered that well.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Hillary Israeli" > wrote in message
...
> In >,
> Tori M. > wrote:
>
> *> The cutoff is when the CHILD decides it is. Its not wierd, just not
what
> *> you are used to.
> *>
> *If I am understanding her question correctly what I got was this. Is
there
> *a point where you feel like you did when you realized you where not
suposed
> *to be naked in front of company. Not that being naked isnt natural but
> *maybe the time has come to put on a shirt... And what do you do if you
> *wanted to breastfeed until the child wants to wean and you realize that
> *maybe you are done by 24 months. I would think there would come a point
> *where modesty may kick in for some parents.
>
> You stop nursing in public if that bothers you. One of my best friends
> still nurses her 3.5 year old, but I haven't seen her do it in at LEAST a
> year - and it is NOT because she thinks *I* would have an issue with it,
> because I totally do not. It's just because that is a limit she's set for
> her child - you only get to nurse at home, in private, when mommy says so.
>

>
> My 19.5 month old daughter hasn't nursed in 3 weeks. I actively chose to
> wean her for a variety of reasons (not least because she was no longer
> thriving on a largely breastmilk diet, and started gaining and growing
> more appropriately as we cut back on her nursing sessions and got her down
> to 1-2 times per day; once we were down to 1-2 times per day, other issues
> cropped up which made me want to finish with it completely). I feel great
> that she had such a good long run of breastfeeding. I feel a little bit
> sad that events conspired to lead to weaning before she was really
> emotionally ready. Every morning, she still points to my breasts and says
> "nurse, nurse" in a questioning tone; when I tell her there is no milk in
> there, and that she isn't goign to nurse, she pats my breasts with her
> hand and says "nice, nice," and she also likes to put her cheek next to my
> breast, and sometimes put her mouth on my skin, as if she were going to
> nurse, but not actually doing it. I'm working on ending this behavior as
> gently as possible.
>
> --
> hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
> "uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
> not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Akuvikate]

"Phoebe & Allyson" > wrote in message >...
>
> I've gotten multiple "what country did she come from / what agency did you
> use / I always wanted an Oriental baby" comments, though. Apparently nice
> Caucasian girls don't give birth to mixed-race children around here.
>
> Phoebe :)

My cousin (white, male) is married to a Taiwanese-American woman from
a prominent family in Taiwan. Their kids look entirely Caucasian.
People think she's the nanny. As a woman working in the high-powered
New York financial world, nanny would be a very unlikely career move
for her.

Kate
and the Bug, almost 1 year old

[JennP]

"Nan" > wrote in message
...

> I have, but as has been pointed out already, it was far less skin than
> is revealed by some teens wearing certain fashions.

True! Dh went to the mall for the first time in a very long time recently.
He was *shocked* at what the young girls were wearing (or *not* wearing!) Of
course, now that we are expecting a girl it really puts it all into
perspective for him.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[JennP]

"Circe" > wrote in message
news:Kqbwc.39700$oi5.27470@fed1read07...

> I've never seen reliable statistics, but my experience with my circle of
> friends and family suggests the average age for successfully completed
potty
> training is between 2.75 and 3.25, with outliers on either side.

I'd say my group of friends is about the same.

There is only one child in Matthew's group of friends who is still in
diapers and he's 3y8m. There are a lot of other issues going on in that
house right now (new baby, younger sister, recent move...) though. Matthew
trained earlyish at 2y3m and was the first in his playgroup, but they all
quickly followed.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
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[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...

> The kids call them the correct words. Not everyone uses the same slang,
so
> if something were going on (abuse) I'd like the kids to use the correct
> words so they weren't misunderstood.

Smart idea.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
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[JennP]

"Sophie" > wrote in message

> Well how timely, I was at a pot-luck lunch yesterday and a woman was
nursing
> her 5 *year* old. No I had never seen that before!

I have to say, I have never actually seen a five year old (or thereabouts)
nursing either.

And you could see
> everything. Sooo..she was actually really interesting.

Hmmm, I'd gather to say that a woman who feels completely comfortable
nursing a five year old in public (disclaimer: I'm NOT criticizing it) would
be less concerned with her breasts showing in public.

It was fascinating watching everyone trying not to look -
> lol.

LOL! That would have made me do a doubletake too, I have to admit. Did she
know many of the people there? Interesting that this would come up in the
middle of this discussion.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
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[JennP]

"Tori M." > wrote in message
...

Anyway I was molested as a child so I may be a little more
> obsessed with instilling modesty/covering than the average person... I am
> still trying to figure out how I can breastfeed without anyone touching my
> breasts every day;)

Oh, I forgot about this, Tori. I understand your concerns with modesty then.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Nan]

On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 17:45:28 GMT, "JennP"
> wrote:

>
>"Nan" > wrote in message
...
>
>> I have, but as has been pointed out already, it was far less skin than
>> is revealed by some teens wearing certain fashions.
>
>True! Dh went to the mall for the first time in a very long time recently.
>He was *shocked* at what the young girls were wearing (or *not* wearing!) Of
>course, now that we are expecting a girl it really puts it all into
>perspective for him.

My dh is the same way. He even started turning his nose up at some of
the revealing clothing for little girls before I had an opportunity to
educate him ;-)

Nan

[Leslie]

>> Who's holding the
>> current record on m.k.p?

I know it's not the record, but I'm up to 8 years and 3 months of bf now. 26
months of that was tandemming--shouldn't I get extra credit? <g>

Leslie

[Ericka Kammerer]

Sophie wrote:


> Well how timely, I was at a pot-luck lunch yesterday and a woman was nursing
> her 5 *year* old. No I had never seen that before! And you could see
> everything. Sooo..she was actually really interesting. She has 3 children,
> had her last at 43 which got a huge WOW from me (cos that made her 48 now) -
> lol. Most people here are retired at 38 so I don't even *know* anyone older
> than that - lol. It was fascinating watching everyone trying not to look -
> lol.

Yeah, that's about how I felt about the woman at the
dance studio who didn't bother covering anything up. I mean,
she'd come in a spaghetti strap sundress with no bra on and
just drop the top of her dress on one side to nurse, plus
her son would nurse a bit and then look all around, so as
often as not she might have been walking around topless.
Bless everyone else's hearts for not saying anything, but
that's way beyond what *I* would have been comfortable
doing ;-) There sure were a lot of people trying not to
look while she was nursing, particularly the hapless dads
who were dropping off kids!

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Phoebe & Allyson]

Akuvikate wrote:
> People think she's the nanny.

Oh, that's horrible! (I will admit to having made the same erroneous
assumption about the Vietnamese lady and her blue-eyed son at Storytime,
though. After Allyson took Caterpillar once and said it was obvious to her
that they were mother and son, I was really, really glad I hadn't said
anything.)

Phoebe :)
--
yahoo address is unread; substitute mailbolt

[H Schinske]

JennP wrote:

>I have to say, I have never actually seen a five year old (or thereabouts)
>nursing either.

I think the oldest I've seen is 3.5 or 4, and that was at a La Leche League
meeting. I do see a lot of toddlers nursing, though, up to 2.5 or so, and it's
not impossible that I've seen an older child and just am not remembering.

--Helen

[H Schinske]

>H Schinske wrote:
>
>> Wouldn't they also remember having their diapers changed?
>
>I don't remember my diaper being changed. Do you?
>
>If your kid is still in diapers at 3 and 4 years old, that's a whole
>other topic. ;)

Well, you said 2.5, I thought. The great majority of kids are still in diapers
then. (The majority also don't remember back that far, but it seemed as though
you were saying that the kids in your family very well might, along with their
early verbal skills.)

I don't think I remember having diapers changed, but I can certainly remember
sitting on a little potty chair, which must have been during toilet training,
and I can remember needing help wiping my bottom occasionally. So that's back
almost far enough to remember diapers.

--Helen

[Sue]

Circe > wrote in message
>Still, I'm not particularly concerned about getting breast cancer. None of
the >women in my immediate family have ever had it over several generations,
so I >think I'm at a fairly low risk to begin with.

We had no breast cancer in our family either for as many generations as I
can think of. However, my mom's breast cancer came out of no where and blew
us all away. Can't say that I am dismissing it anymore.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Chotii]

"Nan" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 17:45:28 GMT, "JennP"
> > wrote:
>
> >
> >"Nan" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> >> I have, but as has been pointed out already, it was far less skin than
> >> is revealed by some teens wearing certain fashions.
> >
> >True! Dh went to the mall for the first time in a very long time
recently.
> >He was *shocked* at what the young girls were wearing (or *not* wearing!)
Of
> >course, now that we are expecting a girl it really puts it all into
> >perspective for him.
>
> My dh is the same way. He even started turning his nose up at some of
> the revealing clothing for little girls before I had an opportunity to
> educate him ;-)

I have had a terrible, terrible time finding suitable little dresses for my
girls. Target has lovely little knit dresses. modest (below the knees) and
with wide shoulder straps, or nice little short sleeves (I despise spaghetti
straps) but these only go up to size 3. I found a pattern for the 'twirly
dress' at www.sewbaby.com and it looks easy to put together, but it only
goes up to size 6. Beyond that, I think I'm nearly stuck with Lands End, and
$40 a dress. Unless somebody here knows better....?

--angela

[Sue]

Chotii > wrote in message
> I have had a terrible, terrible time finding suitable little dresses for
my
> girls.

Why does it have to be dresses? Don't they wear shorts, pants, shirts?
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Sue]

JennPwrote in message:
> True! Dh went to the mall for the first time in a very long time recently.
> He was *shocked* at what the young girls were wearing (or *not* wearing!)
>Of course, now that we are expecting a girl it really puts it all into
> perspective for him.

The girls and I went to the mall today. Wow, what an experience. The clothes
they have now are just awful. I usually shop at Meijers (which thank
goodness still has modest clothes for little girls), Target and the thrift
shop or other people's hand me downs. Although, Sears and JCPenny has some
nice things for older kids. The mall certainly has changed since I was a
teen, lol.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

[Chotii]

"Sue" > wrote in message
...
> Chotii > wrote in message
> > I have had a terrible, terrible time finding suitable little dresses for
> my
> > girls.
>
> Why does it have to be dresses? Don't they wear shorts, pants, shirts?

It doesn't. But as it happens, my girls LIKE dresses. They're cool in the
summer, easy to put on, and easy to pull up to go potty.

I also dislike the whole shorts/pants/socks struggle. It's just that many
more things I have to fold, not to mention match, and if they go missing
under couches or beds, they're harder to find.

So, we do have pants, and shirts. And we have a lot of dresses. When asked
what they want to wear, they usually choose dresses.

--angela

[Denise Anderson]

"Chotii"

> So, we do have pants, and shirts. And we have a lot of dresses. When asked
> what they want to wear, they usually choose dresses.


My kids aren't sock wearers. No matter what they're wearing. Its driven my
mil batty for at least 6 years now. If its cold outside, or we're going
somewhere where they're supposed to look good, I'll make them put on socks,
otherwise I don't force it. I hate matching the stupid things anyway. Plus
I'm not big on wearing socks either.

Denise

[Nancy P]

"Iuil" > wrote in message
...
> I I've also been known to
> sit down on the floor in a quietish corner (usually the wine section
;-) ).
> I got a couple of funny looks when I did that but no-one ever said a word.
> The supermarket I go to also has folding stools at each checkout for
elderly
> or incapacitated cuctomers - I used those too :-).
>
> Jean
>
I could see doing that, if not for the 2 year old. I can't imagine her
sitting and waiting without a ruckus. I don't get the perishable until
last. Lucky for me, though, LOL, the baby always sleeps until just about
the checkout lane (when the motion slows down).

Nancy

[Nancy P]

"Hillary Israeli" > wrote in message
...
> In >,
> I've nursed in the checkout line. Put toddler in cart-seat. Latch baby on.
> Let cashier and bagger do their thing. Pay awkwardly with one hand.
> Slowly, slowly, slowly navigate cart with fingertips and knees back to
> car. Unlatch baby, put in car seat, unload groceries into car, put toddler
> in car seat, go home, unload, finish nursing. :)
>

Thanks for the description. To be honest, I'm having trouble mastering
nursing one-armed while walking (even in the sling). My daughter keeps
breaking latch if I let go. If it doesn't improve as she get a little older
(she's 6 weeks), I'll take the question to MKB.

Nancy

[Jill]

> > Why does it have to be dresses? Don't they wear shorts, pants, shirts?
>


For babies I find dresses cumbersome. But I LOVE those little sunsuits- they
look like dresses but have a onsie-type of snap-bottom, with a little skirt
thing over it so it looks like a dress.

People were right when they told me I wouldn't find dresses practical for a
newborn!

Jill

[Phoebe & Allyson]

Sue wrote:
> The girls and I went to the mall today. Wow, what an experience. The
> clothes they have now are just awful.

Yep. Caterpillar got a Baby Gap gift certificate when she was born, and
once we started needing to buy clothes for her, we went shopping. The only
things we were willing to buy were boy's shorts (girls were either
impractical and frilly or *bikini-cut*) and boy's t-shirts (girls were the
skin-tight stretch style, sleeveless and frilly). The worst of teenage
clothes, sized for toddlers.

Phoebe :)
--
yahoo address is unread; substitute mailbolt

[Puester]

Chotii wrote:
> >
> >
>
> I have had a terrible, terrible time finding suitable little dresses for my
> girls. Target has lovely little knit dresses. modest (below the knees) and
> with wide shoulder straps, or nice little short sleeves (I despise spaghetti
> straps) but these only go up to size 3. I found a pattern for the 'twirly
> dress' at www.sewbaby.com and it looks easy to put together, but it only
> goes up to size 6. Beyond that, I think I'm nearly stuck with Lands End, and
> $40 a dress. Unless somebody here knows better....?
>
> --angela



Why do females with extra waistline flesh think it looks
attractive/sexy hanging out between too-low pants and
too-short tops?

I'm glad to see so many people complaining, but SOMEONE out there
is buying this stuff or the retailers wouldn't stock it and you
wouldn't
see it everywhere on girls and women of nearly all ages. It is
disturbing to me to see young girls in public places dressed like
cheap hookers. Yet another fashion horror for which we can blame
Hollywood and MTV.



:-(

gloria p

[Leslie]

>Beyond that, I think I'm nearly stuck with Lands End, and
>$40 a dress. Unless somebody here knows better....?

What about those little Hanna Andersson dresses--are they quite that expensive?

Don't you have any consignment shops near you, Angela? That's the best source
for inexpensive, good quality clothes, IMO.

Leslie

[Marie]

On Sat, 5 Jun 2004 20:25:29 -0400, "Sue" >
wrote:
>The girls and I went to the mall today. Wow, what an experience. The clothes
>they have now are just awful. I usually shop at Meijers (which thank
>goodness still has modest clothes for little girls), Target and the thrift
>shop or other people's hand me downs. Although, Sears and JCPenny has some
>nice things for older kids. The mall certainly has changed since I was a
>teen, lol.

Do you find it difficult to find shirts that cover their bellies? That
is our biggest problem. Even regular t-shirts are short.
I haven't had any problem finding shorts that aren't too short though.
I did see at walmart last year sometime, blue-jean shorts for little
girls that as short as panties!! They were intended for shorts though.
I was disgusted. That's just nasty, I can't imagine anyone letting
their daughter wear something like that.
Marie

[Marie]

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 01:05:59 GMT, "Denise Anderson"
> wrote:
>My kids aren't sock wearers. No matter what they're wearing. Its driven my
>mil batty for at least 6 years now. If its cold outside, or we're going
>somewhere where they're supposed to look good, I'll make them put on socks,
>otherwise I don't force it. I hate matching the stupid things anyway. Plus
>I'm not big on wearing socks either.

My daughter has these hand-me-down ankle boots that zip up the
sides...she wears them EVERYWHERE no matter what she is wearing.
That's the only shoes either of the older kids wears socks with. They
wear sneakers sockless. If they go off with a grandparent I do have
them wear socks, or comments will get back to me LOL (one grandmother
told my mom that my daughter didn't wear socks that day because she
didn't have any clean ones!)
What I did with socks was throw out all the socks and buy a couple of
packs of white socks, all the same size and style. That's made it much
easier to match them. (both kids wear the same size socks)
Marie

[Marie]

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 01:51:14 GMT, Puester >
wrote:
>Why do females with extra waistline flesh think it looks
>attractive/sexy hanging out between too-low pants and
>too-short tops?

To be honest, I have an issue with what you said...maybe it is
attractive to many people. Maybe the females feel attractive/sexy
wearing it, and many men think it's sexy. Not everyone thinks thin is
in. I have been skinny(135#) and I have been overweight(180#)...and
I've felt far more comfortable showing my body when I had some weight
on me, rather than showing off my bones.
I don't wear "hooker" clothes, but I do wear low-rider jeans and tank
tops that don't quite pull down over the waist of my jeans...I do wear
a swimsuit when I go swimming, fat rolls and all.
Overweight people shouldn't be forced to be hotter and sweatier and
bulkier than thin people just so noone has to see their fat rolls or
might think it's unattractive.
Now on the other side, I think the low-fitting jeans that are so low
you can see the g-string and pubes is nasty on anyone.
Marie

[JennP]

"Chotii" > wrote in message
.. .

Beyond that, I think I'm nearly stuck with Lands End, and
> $40 a dress. Unless somebody here knows better....?

Well, not really but I was going to suggest Hanna Andersson which
unfortunately is very expensive also. They will be having their twice-yearly
sale anyday now though. Get on their email list and order asap if you see
anything you like. I'm chomping at the bit to get a hold of some of those
striped playdresses for down the road.

Have you checked Land's End overstocks section. They do have some great
bargains.

HTH
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[JennP]

"Leslie" > wrote in message
...

> What about those little Hanna Andersson dresses--are they quite that
expensive?

Be on the lookout anyday now for their online clearance sale. For best
selection get on their email list and order asap.
--
JennP. (offering her HA public service announcement for the day)

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

[Nan]

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 01:36:05 GMT, "Jill" > wrote:

>People were right when they told me I wouldn't find dresses practical for a
>newborn!

Yeah, they're cute for photo ops, but not practical. Nor are they for
the crawling stage, either ;-)

Nan

[Leslie]

Jenn suggested:

>Be on the lookout anyday now for their online clearance sale. For best
>selection get on their email list and order asap.

I am on the mailing list. I wish I knew if #5 was a girl or not! I don't like
their little boy stuff so much, but I dressed William in all the
jeepers-creepers and wiggle pants and sweater sets.

Leslie

[Ericka Kammerer]

Jill wrote:

> People were right when they told me I wouldn't find dresses practical for a
> newborn!

Really? They never bothered me for the newborn
stage. I avoid them more for crawling, though.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Kara H]

"Phoebe & Allyson" > wrote

> Yep. Caterpillar got a Baby Gap gift certificate when she was born, and
> once we started needing to buy clothes for her, we went shopping. The
only
> things we were willing to buy were boy's shorts (girls were either
> impractical and frilly or *bikini-cut*) and boy's t-shirts (girls were the
> skin-tight stretch style, sleeveless and frilly). The worst of teenage
> clothes, sized for toddlers.

Hmm I find it interesting to hear that. I can't say I agree with you about
Baby Gap but to each their own. I agree that there are a always a few things
here and there at Baby Gap that I would never put on any child I know but I
never saw it as bad as you described. I don't find polo shirts or khaki
shorts all too inappropriate? Maybe we are just on very different levels?
<shrug>

-Kara.

[Joybelle]

"Marie" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 01:51:14 GMT, Puester >
> wrote:
> >Why do females with extra waistline flesh think it looks
> >attractive/sexy hanging out between too-low pants and
> >too-short tops?
>
> To be honest, I have an issue with what you said...maybe it is
> attractive to many people. Maybe the females feel attractive/sexy
> wearing it, and many men think it's sexy. Not everyone thinks thin is
> in. I have been skinny(135#) and I have been overweight(180#)...and
> I've felt far more comfortable showing my body when I had some weight
> on me, rather than showing off my bones.
> I don't wear "hooker" clothes, but I do wear low-rider jeans and tank
> tops that don't quite pull down over the waist of my jeans...I do wear
> a swimsuit when I go swimming, fat rolls and all.
> Overweight people shouldn't be forced to be hotter and sweatier and
> bulkier than thin people just so noone has to see their fat rolls or
> might think it's unattractive.
> Now on the other side, I think the low-fitting jeans that are so low
> you can see the g-string and pubes is nasty on anyone.
> Marie

I'm in complete agreement with your post, Marie. I really have nothing to
add to it, but thanks for posting it. You said it so well!
--
Joy

Rose 1-30-99
Iris 2-28-01
Spencer 3-12-03

[Maria Danielle Darst]

"Buzzy Bee" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 21:46:05 GMT, Maria Danielle Darst
> > wrote:
>
>
> > Your DH seems to have a good attitude about it....hope he keeps the good
> > humor if you decide to bf as well....it takes it from both partners to
> > get
> > thru the inital period... :)
>
>
> Oh, I know I have his support, to the extent of telling his mother to ****
> off if necessary. We had long discussions about that when I was pregnant
> with S. And I certainly *will* BF just as soon as I get a child I *can*
> BF - we both have a history of allergies, so its a given for us and one
> of the reasons we hired our independent midwife (and will hire her again
> even if we opt for a hospital birth, though thats not likely)
>
> Megan

Good luck with the next baby then. :) After having such and easy time with
our first bf-ing experience, we thought it would be a cake walk w/DS. But we
just couldn't get him to settle down and latch on. It was a very frustrating
2 months. I could pump and he would take EBM, and would nurse a bit at
night...but during the day he was just too wound up to just lay back and
relax and latch on. He would start....get frustrated b/c milk wasn't pouring
out...then the let down would occur...but by that time he's off the
nipple...kind of rooting around with it mostly in his mouth and
fussing...and milk is flying every where...over his face...my clothes..his
clothes... the first time it happened, I frustrated but all I could do was
laugh. It just didn't seem to flow fast enough for him....we probably should
have stuck it out longer, but with a not so forgiving employer (and a
semi-brain dead mother who would feed him before I got to her house on my
lunch breaks...I call and say "i'm on the way! 15 min.." get there and she's
putting the bottle on the counter and he's crashed out. :( after I went back
to work, I had a hard time pumping, it just didn't work out like I wished it
did.

Sorry...kind of got off on a tanget there :)

And great to know that you have DH's support where the MIL is concerned as
well...after reading some posts here where that was not the case.

Maria
Kelly 2/19/00
Kyle 7/9/01

[Ericka Kammerer]

Chotii wrote:

> I have had a terrible, terrible time finding suitable little dresses for my
> girls. Target has lovely little knit dresses. modest (below the knees) and
> with wide shoulder straps, or nice little short sleeves (I despise spaghetti
> straps) but these only go up to size 3. I found a pattern for the 'twirly
> dress' at www.sewbaby.com and it looks easy to put together, but it only
> goes up to size 6. Beyond that, I think I'm nearly stuck with Lands End, and
> $40 a dress. Unless somebody here knows better....?

Have you tried department stores (Nordstrom, Lord &
Taylor, Bloomingdales, etc.)? They have a lot of crap, but
there are usually decent things to be found as well--and
decent prices if you shop sales. I also find good things
in the nicer independent toy/clothing stores. They often
have all sorts of adorable play clothes that are really
sweet. Prices are usually high, but once again, I just
shop the sales. Talbots kids has lots of more modest
dresses, but not so many play dresses. Storybook
Heirlooms has some casual dresses that are quite decent
(some on sale now--http://www.storybook.com). CWD
Kids usually has some thing (http://www.cwdkids.com).
If you find brands you like, search for those online.
For example, if you search for "children's clothing"
and "hartstrings" you'll turn up a lot of online
boutiques, some of which probably have some decent
sales. I keep getting the feeling that I'm overlooking
something obvious. If it comes to me, I'll post again.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Jamie Clark]

Shena,
I'm sorry. This may be TMI, but I'm a huge fan of my boobs/nipples. I've
orgasmed from my boobs alone. I like em, a lot. : )
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6


"Shena Delian O'Brien" > wrote in message
...
> Jamie Clark wrote:
>
> > I do. Around when my period is due, my boobs hurt. I got boobs. I
don't
> > care what you call em. I'm not offended easily.
>
> I am not comfortable calling them ANYTHING. For some reason though,
> "boobs" is a less offensive term to me and the one that I most commonly
use.
>
> Maybe it's cuz I hate 'em, and would prolly have 'em chopped off if I
> weren't trying like the dickens to make them useful to my kid(s).
>

[Sue]

Marie > wrote in message
> Do you find it difficult to find shirts that cover their bellies? That
> is our biggest problem. Even regular t-shirts are short.

No, I haven't had that problem yet. The girls are really petite and short
waisted, so even if the T-shirt was meant to be shorter, it hasn't been on
the girls. Jenny is the only one so far, who seems to be getting much taller
and putting on weight (good kind of weight, not overweight). Allison, who is
11 yrs, is still only in a size 7-8 for pants/shorts, while she does need a
10-12 for shirts. Kara, who is 7 yrs is in a 6x and sometimes needs to be a
5T, but 7-8 for shirts.

> I haven't had any problem finding shorts that aren't too short though.

Now that is the problem I am having. Even the shorty shorts are too short
for the girls (or to my liking anyway). I am having such a hard time finding
decent jean shorts. I did find quite a few at the consignment store though.
I also don't allow words on their butts or bikini bathing suits. For the
most part, I am not having any problems with clothes yet as I still have a
huge influence on what they buy. It won't always be that way, I know, but I
am hanging on to that as long as I can. ;o)

> I did see at walmart last year sometime, blue-jean shorts for little
> girls that as short as panties!! They were intended for shorts though.
> I was disgusted. That's just nasty, I can't imagine anyone letting
> their daughter wear something like that.

Ah, but they do. We have one girl in Allison's 5th grade class. She is
extremely tall for her age (mom and dad are very tall). Mom is pushing this
girl in all areas (school work, clothes, makeup, boys) and she is only 11
years old. She is wearing full on make-up, shorty shorts, and revealing
shirts. I just can't for the life of me why the mom wants her 11-year-old
looking slutty. I really hope that the girls have good taste in clothes.
Allison was very disgusted at some of the stuff she saw yesterday at the
mall.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)