name fights

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child? I
always had a sneaking suspicion that DH and I would have this problem,
and of course we've been having it ever since we first started talking
about names. ;-)

Our problem is that he cares about heritage, and I don't. I like
standard names (well, standard as in "normal" for the area in which you
live, and the language which you speak in public) DH, OTOH, cares only
about making sure that names are in line with his heritage (or his
interests, which are classical history). Yes, *his* heritage. His
heritage first, then mine. Seriously! So, that means that he prefers
everything Ukrainian, then German (his mother is German), and *then*
French as a last choice, because I have a French background. This just
ticks me off, and I don't know how to deal with it. I just want
something that's standard Canadian/US English, because this is where we
*live*. (but OK, I admit that I'm actually not very creative when it
comes to names)

So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
actually have a baby). Well, it hasn't really ramped up, yet, because
I've been keeping mostly quiet about it, but we're going to have to deal
with it soon, now.

I actually mentioned this to the midwife, just because I felt like
whining that day. ;-) She said that usually guys give in after they
see their wives/girlfriends go through labour, but DH tends to be
different in that the more he feels pushed in some way, the more
stubborn he gets. I'm not sure that watching me go through labour will
have much of an affect on him when it comes to names. It will be sort
of like "Wow, I can't believe you did that, and I'm glad it was you and
not me, but I still say we should call him Uri." (note: we have
actually agreed on a girl's name - it's just picking a boy's name that
is giving us trouble. We've agreed on Clio for a girl, after the muse
of history, but *only* if it's after the muse of history. Just "Clio"
is unacceptable otherwise.)

He's willing to go with Latin names over English names, actually (the
history thing), so one name that we're *sort of* agreeing to for a boy
is Maxim, but I'm not too sure if I'm all that hot on that one. At
least I could call our possible future son Max for short, though. But
believe it or not, I already know a kid named Max! Although I want
something fairly standard for where we live, I at least want to try to
pick something that no one else I know already has! ;-)

Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!

[Denise Anderson]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
>
> Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!

I have no advice because I'm about to have this baby and DH and I have yet
to agree on a name for a lot of the same reasons, but I can say I totally
sympathize. I wish I could tell you what to do or how to make it less of a
battle, but my husband's still fighting for Breeeeeauuuna, so I'm useless.
Good luck though!

Denise

>

[Sophie]

> So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
> that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child? I
> always had a sneaking suspicion that DH and I would have this problem,
> and of course we've been having it ever since we first started talking
> about names. ;-)

You let him think he picked the name when really you jsut convinced him he
liked it - 4 times ;)

> Our problem is that he cares about heritage, and I don't. I like
> standard names (well, standard as in "normal" for the area in which you
> live, and the language which you speak in public) DH, OTOH, cares only
> about making sure that names are in line with his heritage (or his
> interests, which are classical history). Yes, *his* heritage. His
> heritage first, then mine. Seriously! So, that means that he prefers
> everything Ukrainian, then German (his mother is German), and *then*
> French as a last choice, because I have a French background. This just
> ticks me off, and I don't know how to deal with it. I just want
> something that's standard Canadian/US English, because this is where we
> *live*. (but OK, I admit that I'm actually not very creative when it
> comes to names)

What background is the last name? I like first and last names to match, I
like very ethnic names. I don't see what's wrong with liking heritage. Or
liking a "normal" name for where you live.

> So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
> years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
> actually have a baby). Well, it hasn't really ramped up, yet, because
> I've been keeping mostly quiet about it, but we're going to have to deal
> with it soon, now.

You make a lsit of names you like and he does the same. You swap lists,
cross off what you don't like, and eventually hopefully have a name or 2 in
common you both like. We did this by e-mail when he was in Japan and I was
pregnant with #3.

> I actually mentioned this to the midwife, just because I felt like
> whining that day. ;-) She said that usually guys give in after they
> see their wives/girlfriends go through labour, but DH tends to be
> different in that the more he feels pushed in some way, the more
> stubborn he gets. I'm not sure that watching me go through labour will
> have much of an affect on him when it comes to names. It will be sort
> of like "Wow, I can't believe you did that, and I'm glad it was you and
> not me, but I still say we should call him Uri."

Lol!

>(note: we have
> actually agreed on a girl's name - it's just picking a boy's name that
> is giving us trouble. We've agreed on Clio for a girl, after the muse
> of history, but *only* if it's after the muse of history. Just "Clio"
> is unacceptable otherwise.)

Well I'm gonna look dumb but I'd think Clio was Cleo spelled wrong, and it
reminds me of 2 things - Clifford the Big Red Dog has a friend named Cleo,
and the Sony Clie PDA - sorry.

> He's willing to go with Latin names over English names, actually (the
> history thing), so one name that we're *sort of* agreeing to for a boy
> is Maxim, but I'm not too sure if I'm all that hot on that one. At
> least I could call our possible future son Max for short, though. But
> believe it or not, I already know a kid named Max! Although I want
> something fairly standard for where we live, I at least want to try to
> pick something that no one else I know already has! ;-)

Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.

> Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!

It is, isn't it?

[Tracey]

"Sophie" > wrote in message
...
> Well I'm gonna look dumb but I'd think Clio was Cleo spelled wrong, and it
> reminds me of 2 things - Clifford the Big Red Dog has a friend named Cleo,
> and the Sony Clie PDA - sorry.

> Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
> Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.

I was thinking the same things.

[Ericka Kammerer]

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:


> So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
> years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
> actually have a baby). Well, it hasn't really ramped up, yet, because
> I've been keeping mostly quiet about it, but we're going to have to deal
> with it soon, now.

Try to depersonalize the issue somewhat by agreeing
to a process. For instance, you could agree that you will
each create a list of, say, your ten top picks. Then, you'll
trade lists and cross off the five you feel are completely
unacceptable. Then you'll each pick your favorite name off
your own list and, voila!, two names. Flip for which goes
first ;-) Okay, that would never have worked for us, but
it's a way to get out of the endless picking on each others'
names. Perhaps you can put down some process boundaries
that will smooth your process somewhat.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[Shelly]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
> that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child? I
> always had a sneaking suspicion that DH and I would have this problem,
> and of course we've been having it ever since we first started talking
> about names. ;-)


Hey Vicky,
We had the same problem. DH is from the Middle East, and had VERY different
ideas from me on name.We actually had to put off talking about it for
several months, b/c the topic led to such big arguements! We ended up trying
the list idea....each had a week to come up with a list of 10-20 names, then
we traded. We just kept whittling the lists down until we had three or four
names that we both thought were OK, and from there we decided to pick the
one off the list that best suited DS after he was born. The biggest surprise
was that there was one name on both of our lists.The second was that it
didn't end up being DS's name. ;)

I like Maxim, FWIW. My good friends named their son Maxim (mom is American,
dad is Russian). It does get mispronounced (with a short i sound, instead of
long), but they go with Max usually, so it isn't a big deal.

-Michelle

[D&K Condron]

Vicky -

My hubby was like this, too, so I reminded him that his heritage was
represented very well in the family's LAST name - which I had happily taken
as mine, and am happy with my son having. I thought have a very ethnic
first name as well would be overwhelming for our child, and was finally able
to convince him of this and he relented on the first name. I don't know if
that will work for you, but it might.

Katrina

"

[Clisby]

Denise Anderson wrote:
> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
>
>>Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>
>
> I have no advice because I'm about to have this baby and DH and I have yet
> to agree on a name for a lot of the same reasons, but I can say I totally
> sympathize. I wish I could tell you what to do or how to make it less of a
> battle, but my husband's still fighting for Breeeeeauuuna, so I'm useless.
> Good luck though!
>
> Denise
>
>
>
>

So you're determined not to take unfair advantage of that deployment,
eh? You're a better woman than I am.

Clisby

[Denise Anderson]

"Clisby" > wrote in message
...

> >
> >
> >
>
> So you're determined not to take unfair advantage of that deployment,
> eh? You're a better woman than I am.
>
> Clisby


Its oh so tempting :) But I don't want to deal with the aftermath, kwim?
If he was going to be gone longer, I'd probably just do it because he'd have
time to get over it. This time he'll be home right after I have the baby,
and then I'll have to deal with it... we'd be on Jerry Springer or something
for sure.

Denise

>

[Melody]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..

> Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>

Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first and a
middle, you pick one, he picks the other... He'll be overseas when the baby
is born, right? Call him the name YOU like and that's the one that will have
stuck by the time he comes home... May be mean, but it'll work ;) *giggle*

I decided not to even think about trying to choose names until we know the
sex of the baby... less to argue about, less to think about. My DH seems
like he could care less about girl names (or he likes all the ones I've
rattled off at least..) but I think but he's dead set on the boy name... I'm
keeping my mouth shut until we know what we're having, then we'll work
something out that we both like AND passes on his family name because I know
that's very important to him and I want him to have that.

Try to come up with one of his ancestors names that you like and can live
with, that'll pass on his heritage AND make you happy :)

Good luck!
Mel

[Puester]

Denise Anderson wrote:
>
> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> >
> > Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>
> I have no advice because I'm about to have this baby and DH and I have yet
> to agree on a name for a lot of the same reasons, but I can say I totally
> sympathize. I wish I could tell you what to do or how to make it less of a
> battle, but my husband's still fighting for Breeeeeauuuna, so I'm useless.
> Good luck though!
>
> Denise
>
> >



If he won't budge, name her that and immediately
start with a nickname that you like--Bree, Bee,
Bebe (Beebee), Baby Bean, etc. Or tell him you ]
will do this and maybe he'll change his mind....

gloria p
who believes in more than one
way to skin a cat....

[Zannah]

In article >,
"Denise Anderson" > wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> >
> > Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>
> I have no advice because I'm about to have this baby and DH and I have yet
> to agree on a name for a lot of the same reasons, but I can say I totally
> sympathize. I wish I could tell you what to do or how to make it less of a
> battle, but my husband's still fighting for Breeeeeauuuna, so I'm useless.
> Good luck though!
>
> Denise

My husband resolutely *refused* to suggest any baby names. However, we
had both agreed that the other one had power of veto - that we wouldn't
call the baby something the other one hated. Would your husband agree to
that? (And then you could veto Breeeeeauuuna?)

My husband vetoed my first three suggestions, including the name my
heart was set on, but I figured she was his daughter too, so I wanted a
name we both liked.

Zannah.

(whose shortlist consists of 37 boys' names and 43 girls' names, but my
husband hasn't seen it yet.)

[Alpha]

Sophie says:

> Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
> Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.

I can think of two things wrong with Maximus: gluteus maximus, and
http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgsh0102.exe?FNM=64&SKW=maximus%2Cml.

:-)

-- Alpha
mom to Eamon and Quinn

[Melody]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..

> Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>

Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first and a
middle, you pick one, he picks the other... He'll be overseas when the baby
is born, right? Call him the name YOU like and that's the one that will have
stuck by the time he comes home... May be mean, but it'll work ;) *giggle*

I decided not to even think about trying to choose names until we know the
sex of the baby... less to argue about, less to think about. My DH seems
like he could care less about girl names (or he likes all the ones I've
rattled off at least..) but I think but he's dead set on the boy name... I'm
keeping my mouth shut until we know what we're having, then we'll work
something out that we both like AND passes on his family name because I know
that's very important to him and I want him to have that.

Try to come up with one of his ancestors names that you like and can live
with, that'll pass on his heritage AND make you happy :)

Good luck!
Mel

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Sophie wrote:

> What background is the last name? I like first and last names to match, I
> like very ethnic names. I don't see what's wrong with liking heritage. Or
> liking a "normal" name for where you live.

He and his last name are both Ukrainian. :-) (meanwhile he has a
German first name) He is really only half Ukrainian but he still calls
himself Ukrainian. Anyway, I don't have a problem with ethnic names,
but my chief complaint is a pronounciation one. I can't properly
pronounce the names of probably about three quarters of his family. I
can't even spell most of their names, and wouldn't even be able to
hazard a guess. I can't even pronounce my own last name properly (my
MIL can't either, and she's had it for decades). The problem is that
although Ukrainian uses a phonetic alphabet, that all gets trashed in
the transliteration - and besides, I can never remember which syllables
to stress (they are all the exact opposite of what I would naturally
assume). Ukrainian is a hard language, even just when looking at names.

> You make a lsit of names you like and he does the same. You swap lists,

That's the approach that we're currently trying, actually. I hope it
ends up giving us more choices of names. Right now we only have the two.

> Well I'm gonna look dumb but I'd think Clio was Cleo spelled wrong, and it
> reminds me of 2 things - Clifford the Big Red Dog has a friend named Cleo,
> and the Sony Clie PDA - sorry.

Nope, it's Clio with an i. There is also Cleo but that's a different
name. Anyway, I am not bothered by associations with products. I find
it too much to worry about, since so many names get used for so many
different products. Marketing has never made sense to me.

> Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
> Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.

No need to apologize, because that type of stuff doesn't bother me. ;-)
I've never even heard of that magazine. Maybe it's not available in
Canada.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Shelly wrote:

> I like Maxim, FWIW. My good friends named their son Maxim (mom is American,
> dad is Russian). It does get mispronounced (with a short i sound, instead of
> long), but they go with Max usually, so it isn't a big deal.

Yeah, that's one problem I've been noticing right off the bat. Every
time we tell someone that we're thinking of Maxim, they immediately
repeat the name, but pronounce it with the stress on the first syllable,
as if to correct us. I *know* that if we go with that name, people will
always put the stress on the first syllable (heh, especially if we tell
them that we just say Max for short, which we will do since Ukrainians
never use full names).

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

D&K Condron wrote:

> Vicky -
>
> My hubby was like this, too, so I reminded him that his heritage was
> represented very well in the family's LAST name - which I had happily taken
> as mine, and am happy with my son having. I thought have a very ethnic
> first name as well would be overwhelming for our child, and was finally able
> to convince him of this and he relented on the first name. I don't know if
> that will work for you, but it might.

Hmmmmmmmm, good angle. ;-) I'll have to give it a try if he still
keeps suggesting things like Uri. (My apologies to anyone out there
named Uri. It's nothing personal. I just can't possibly spell the
other names that he's suggested, so Uri is always my example.)

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Melody wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
>
>
>>Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>>
>
>
> Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first and a
> middle, you pick one, he picks the other... He'll be overseas when the baby
> is born, right? Call him the name YOU like and that's the one that will have
> stuck by the time he comes home... May be mean, but it'll work ;) *giggle*

Nope, not me! Mine's a professor! He has no plans to travel. He's a
hermit. ;-) He only goes to the odd conference if it's not too far
away, and that's it.

> Try to come up with one of his ancestors names that you like and can live
> with, that'll pass on his heritage AND make you happy :)

We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
"petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.

[Melody]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> Sophie wrote:
> Nope, it's Clio with an i. There is also Cleo but that's a different
> name. Anyway, I am not bothered by associations with products. I find
> it too much to worry about, since so many names get used for so many
> different products. Marketing has never made sense to me.


Things like that don't bother me either. I guess I don't watch TV enough to
hear all these fancy new product names... Clio didn;t strike me as anything
other than a pretty name for a girl. It's not like most products have any
longevity these days anyway... by the time they're old enough to be teased
most of these products will be ancient history.

[Tori M.]

Here is my huddys guess at how to pronounce your last name is bill annie
OOK.. just wondering if he is right to your knowlage;) Arnt their some good
ukranian male names like Sasha or is that german?

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> D&K Condron wrote:
>
> > Vicky -
> >
> > My hubby was like this, too, so I reminded him that his heritage was
> > represented very well in the family's LAST name - which I had happily
taken
> > as mine, and am happy with my son having. I thought have a very ethnic
> > first name as well would be overwhelming for our child, and was finally
able
> > to convince him of this and he relented on the first name. I don't know
if
> > that will work for you, but it might.
>
> Hmmmmmmmm, good angle. ;-) I'll have to give it a try if he still
> keeps suggesting things like Uri. (My apologies to anyone out there
> named Uri. It's nothing personal. I just can't possibly spell the
> other names that he's suggested, so Uri is always my example.)
>

[Tori M.]

Would Petro be the same as Pedro? That is what came to my mind.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> Melody wrote:
>
> > "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> > . ..
> >
> >
> >>Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
> >>
> >
> >
> > Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first
and a
> > middle, you pick one, he picks the other... He'll be overseas when the
baby
> > is born, right? Call him the name YOU like and that's the one that will
have
> > stuck by the time he comes home... May be mean, but it'll work ;)
*giggle*
>
> Nope, not me! Mine's a professor! He has no plans to travel. He's a
> hermit. ;-) He only goes to the odd conference if it's not too far
> away, and that's it.
>
> > Try to come up with one of his ancestors names that you like and can
live
> > with, that'll pass on his heritage AND make you happy :)
>
> We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
> to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
> Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid , which is not a
> name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
> "petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
> pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.
>

[Melody]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> Melody wrote:
>
> > "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> > . ..
> We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
> to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
> Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
> name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
> "petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
> pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.


What's his middle name?

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Tori M. wrote:

> Here is my huddys guess at how to pronounce your last name is bill annie
> OOK.. just wondering if he is right to your knowlage;) Arnt their some good

YUP! Good one! :-) Stress definitely on the final syllable.

> ukranian male names like Sasha or is that german?

Sounds German to me. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure that I like it.
See, part of the problem is that I'm pretty darn picky. ;-)

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Tori M. wrote:

> Would Petro be the same as Pedro? That is what came to my mind.
>
> Tori
>

No, unless I'm mistaken on how to pronounce Pedro. Petro definitely has
the stress on the second syllable (as always seems to be the case - they
like to stress the ends of names), but "o" in Ukrainian is pronounced
like the "o" in "off." Also, there's the "r" issue, which I just can't
resolve. I mean, no matter how hard I try, I can't do a Ukrainian r. I
always end up spitting out a French or a German r. I love listening to
my husband pronounce things so perfectly, because the "r"'s are really
kind of neat, what with the way the seem to click rather than roll.
(and you know, the sad part is that I've even asked people to try to
describe to me exactly what their tongues are doing when they pronounce
a Ukrainian r, and despite their efforts, I still can't do it). Anyway,
I think "Pedro" is a bit more like "Paydroe" but maybe I'm just being
too French - I don't know.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Melody wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
>
>>Melody wrote:
>>
>>
>>>"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
>>
>>We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
>>to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
>> Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
>>name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
>>"petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
>>pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.
>
>
>
> What's his middle name?
>
>

No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
He's also dead set against them.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:

> Melody wrote:
>
>> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
>> . ..
>>
>>> Melody wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
>>>> . ..
>>>
>>>
>>> We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
>>> to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
>>> Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
>>> name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
>>> "petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
>>> pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> What's his middle name?
>>
>>
>
> No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
> He's also dead set against them.
>

Sorry, I meant that DH's father had no middle name. No one in DH's
family has one, that I know of, and DH is dead set against them.

[Leslie]

Vicky asked:

>So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
>that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child?

I give in. :-) My husband once asked me what decisions he got to make about
our family and I thought for awhile and said that he decides when and where we
vacation, and what to name the kids!

We don't have a big problem because we have similar, traditional taste in
names, and usually I have veto power but this time I don't because I promised
him that if he would agree to #5 he could pick the name. :-)

I
>always had a sneaking suspicion that DH and I would have this problem,
>and of course we've been having it ever since we first started talking
>about names. ;-)
>
>Our problem is that he cares about heritage, and I don't. I like
>standard names (well, standard as in "normal" for the area in which you
>live, and the language which you speak in public) DH, OTOH, cares only
>about making sure that names are in line with his heritage (or his
>interests, which are classical history). Yes, *his* heritage. His
>heritage first, then mine. Seriously! So, that means that he prefers
>everything Ukrainian, then German (his mother is German), and *then*
>French as a last choice, because I have a French background. This just
>ticks me off, and I don't know how to deal with it.

My husband is kind of like this too. He thinks it would be nice for all our
kids to have German names, because that is what the last name is. In fact,
they are more Scotch and Irish than they are German. :-) But personally I
don't like ethnic first names UNLESS they match the last name. I love certain
Irish names, and I would have liked to call William Liam, but I thought it
sounded stupid combined with a German last name.


I just want
>something that's standard Canadian/US English, because this is where we
>*live*. (but OK, I admit that I'm actually not very creative when it
>comes to names)
>
>So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
>years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
>actually have a baby). Well, it hasn't really ramped up, yet, because
>I've been keeping mostly quiet about it, but we're going to have to deal
>with it soon, now.

I'd let him come up with a list, and then you pick the final name from the
list, and also come up with the nickname.


>
>I actually mentioned this to the midwife, just because I felt like
>whining that day. ;-) She said that usually guys give in after they
>see their wives/girlfriends go through labour, but DH tends to be
>different in that the more he feels pushed in some way, the more
>stubborn he gets. I'm not sure that watching me go through labour will
>have much of an affect on him when it comes to names. It will be sort
>of like "Wow, I can't believe you did that, and I'm glad it was you and
>not me, but I still say we should call him Uri." (note: we have
>actually agreed on a girl's name - it's just picking a boy's name that
>is giving us trouble. We've agreed on Clio for a girl, after the muse
>of history, but *only* if it's after the muse of history. Just "Clio"
>is unacceptable otherwise.)
>
>He's willing to go with Latin names over English names, actually (the
>history thing), so one name that we're *sort of* agreeing to for a boy
>is Maxim, but I'm not too sure if I'm all that hot on that one. At
>least I could call our possible future son Max for short, though. But
>believe it or not, I already know a kid named Max! Although I want
>something fairly standard for where we live, I at least want to try to
>pick something that no one else I know already has! ;-)


I like Maxim, and Max as well.

>
>Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>
It's hard because it is so important, such a big responsibility, to name a new
human being who is going to be identified by the name you choose for the rest
of his life.

Not to put the pressure on, or anything. ;-)

Leslie

[Shelly]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> Tori M. wrote:
>
> > Here is my huddys guess at how to pronounce your last name is bill annie
> > OOK.. just wondering if he is right to your knowlage;) Arnt their some
good
>
> YUP! Good one! :-) Stress definitely on the final syllable.
>
> > ukranian male names like Sasha or is that german?
>
> Sounds German to me. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure that I like it.
> See, part of the problem is that I'm pretty darn picky. ;-)
>

Not sure about Ukrainian, but Sasha is the usual nickname for Alexander in
Russian. I think that is a great one, too. :)

[Melody]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
>
> No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
> He's also dead set against them.
>

Think he'd go for an Americanized version of a Ukrainan name?

[Tori M.]

"Shelly" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
> > Tori M. wrote:
> >
> > > Here is my huddys guess at how to pronounce your last name is bill
annie
> > > OOK.. just wondering if he is right to your knowlage;) Arnt their
some
> good
> >
> > YUP! Good one! :-) Stress definitely on the final syllable.
> >
> > > ukranian male names like Sasha or is that german?
> >
> > Sounds German to me. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure that I like it.
> > See, part of the problem is that I'm pretty darn picky. ;-)
> >
>
> Not sure about Ukrainian, but Sasha is the usual nickname for Alexander in
> Russian. I think that is a great one, too. :)


I would pick that as a name if is wasnt for the fact that I have a girl
cousin named Sasha pronounces Sash-ah.

Tori
--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

[Tori M.]

Would it be more pedROE?

Boy I am glad that hubby did not care if names were ethnic to his
sweedish/norweigen, danish side. He seems to actualy like French and
scottish names over the traditional german. sweedish/norweigen ones and
since we are both at least some Scottish that works. I just had to tell him
there was no way in h-e double hockey sticks we would ever name our child
John Wayne even if it was after his 2 best friends and not the actor... I
can never let my grandfather know that though;)


Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> Tori M. wrote:
>
> > Would Petro be the same as Pedro? That is what came to my mind.
> >
> > Tori
> >
>
> No, unless I'm mistaken on how to pronounce Pedro. Petro definitely has
> the stress on the second syllable (as always seems to be the case - they
> like to stress the ends of names), but "o" in Ukrainian is pronounced
> like the "o" in "off." Also, there's the "r" issue, which I just can't
> resolve. I mean, no matter how hard I try, I can't do a Ukrainian r. I
> always end up spitting out a French or a German r. I love listening to
> my husband pronounce things so perfectly, because the "r"'s are really
> kind of neat, what with the way the seem to click rather than roll.
> (and you know, the sad part is that I've even asked people to try to
> describe to me exactly what their tongues are doing when they pronounce
> a Ukrainian r, and despite their efforts, I still can't do it). Anyway,
> I think "Pedro" is a bit more like "Paydroe" but maybe I'm just being
> too French - I don't know.
>

[Irene]

"Melody" > wrote in message >...
> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
>
> > Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
> >
>
> Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first and a
> middle, you pick one, he picks the other...

And of course, lots of people go by their middle name... <eg>

He'll be overseas when the baby
> is born, right? Call him the name YOU like and that's the one that will have
> stuck by the time he comes home... May be mean, but it'll work ;) *giggle*
>
I think you're thinking of Denise's dilemma, unless I've missed something.

Irene

[Donna]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
> that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child?

> So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
> years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
> actually have a baby).

Steven and I shared. For our daughter, I got to pick the first name (with
input), and he got to pick the middle name (with input), and we reversed
choices with our second child. That actually worked pretty well. Both
times we ended up with names that we liked, but were not in love with
initially (Sarah Frances, and John Dempsey), but which have totally grown on
both of us. Now I adore them both. Might that work for you all?

Donna

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Melody wrote:
> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
>
>>No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
>> He's also dead set against them.
>>
>
>
> Think he'd go for an Americanized version of a Ukrainan name?
>
>
>

Anything transliterated is Americanized, I believe.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Leslie wrote:

> It's hard because it is so important, such a big responsibility, to name a new
> human being who is going to be identified by the name you choose for the rest
> of his life.
>
> Not to put the pressure on, or anything. ;-)

Oh I know! Actually, the single most irritating thing I find with names
is the fact that the parents pick them. Seriously. I wish that we had
a culture where parents pick a child's name, but when the child reaches
a certain age, they can choose their own adult name, one that suits them
and one that they like. (and I'm sure this shows my ignorance of other
cultures, as I'm sure there are other cultures out there that do this
and I just don't know it)

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Donna wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
>
>>So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
>>that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child?
>
>
>>So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
>>years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
>>actually have a baby).
>
>
> Steven and I shared. For our daughter, I got to pick the first name (with
> input), and he got to pick the middle name (with input), and we reversed
> choices with our second child. That actually worked pretty well. Both
> times we ended up with names that we liked, but were not in love with
> initially (Sarah Frances, and John Dempsey), but which have totally grown on
> both of us. Now I adore them both. Might that work for you all?
>
> Donna
>
>
>

The more I say our two names (the ones we have so far), the more they
grow on me, actually. It could just be that it takes me a while to get
used to something. I'm just not into naming. I'm the type of person
who agonizes over naming a pet. I can't even pick a half decent login
name for myself on a new computer system.

[Elle]

Vicky Bilaniuk > wrote in message >...
> Melody wrote:
>
> > "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> > . ..
> >
> >>Melody wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> . ..
> >>
> >>We tried that approach. The problem is that the natural choice would be
> >>to use his father's name, since his father passed away a few years back.
> >> Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
> >>name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
> >>"petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
> >>pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.
> >
> >
> >
> > What's his middle name?
> >
> >
>
> No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
> He's also dead set against them.

So's my husband! Says he just doesn't get the point of middle names
(?). We've agreed that if this little one sticks and it is a girl we
will give her my middle name. If it is a boy he is out of luck, no
middle name for him LOL.

Elle

[Mary W.]

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:

> The more I say our two names (the ones we have so far), the more they
> grow on me, actually. It could just be that it takes me a while to get
> used to something. I'm just not into naming. I'm the type of person
> who agonizes over naming a pet. I can't even pick a half decent login
> name for myself on a new computer system.

I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.

Now if only we could pick a boy name.....

Mary

[Karen]

I really have to say your DH is being unreasonable expecting you to go with
names you don't care for and feel are difficult to pronounce. I have three
children and none of them are named my top pick (at the time) or my DH's. A
name is simply too important to "give in" about. You will be calling your
child that name for ever....constantly writing it on forms, talking about
it, talking to it....The name never ends! I can't stress enough that you
simply should not name the child anything you or your DH really don't feel
comfortable with. If you don't feel like Uri would ever grow on you, and
your DH can't see himself with a Michael (or whatever), you gotta go back to
the drawing board and find something that you can *both* tolerate.

Quite frankly, I would give you the edge here.....not only do both you and
your baby to be have your DH's family name, but it is much easier, IMO, for
your DH to go along with a classic name than for you to go along with
something that will be considered odd/unattractive/prone to schoolyard
teasing in the country where you reside. And in my situation, I was the one
who gravitated toward ethnic names to my DH's classic. I just have to say,
as much as I like some names associated with my/our heritage, my DH's
position was stronger. The names of our kids aren't as interesting, but we
both feel happy about them. And they are OUR children, not his, not mine.

Personally, with Uri, I can see some nasty Urinal/Urine jokes, but maybe
that's because my oldest son is 8 :-)

Karen

[Puester]

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:
>

> > Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
> > Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.
>
> No need to apologize, because that type of stuff doesn't bother me. ;-)
> I've never even heard of that magazine. Maybe it's not available in
> Canada.



I LOVE the name Max, but I associate it with a young man
I knew nearly 40 years ago. He was a charmer.

gloria p

[Puester]

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:
>
> Leslie wrote:
>
> > It's hard because it is so important, such a big responsibility, to name a new
> > human being who is going to be identified by the name you choose for the rest
> > of his life.
> >
> > Not to put the pressure on, or anything. ;-)
>
> Oh I know! Actually, the single most irritating thing I find with names
> is the fact that the parents pick them. Seriously. I wish that we had
> a culture where parents pick a child's name, but when the child reaches
> a certain age, they can choose their own adult name, one that suits them
> and one that they like. (and I'm sure this shows my ignorance of other
> cultures, as I'm sure there are other cultures out there that do this
> and I just don't know it)



I'd agree, if the age was 30. Otherwise we'd end up with
everyone calling themselves after trendy pop stars at 16.

Many kids end up being called the nickname given by their
friends. One generation' "cool" name is the next generation's
nerdy one.


gloria p

[KellieGaines]

"D&K Condron" > wrote in message >...
> Vicky -
>
> My hubby was like this, too, so I reminded him that his heritage was
> represented very well in the family's LAST name - which I had happily taken
> as mine, and am happy with my son having. I thought have a very ethnic
> first name as well would be overwhelming for our child, and was finally able
> to convince him of this and he relented on the first name. I don't know if
> that will work for you, but it might.


This is similar to my argument, which has always been that my DH got
to pick the name of all of our children - the last name, which is his
last name (well, mine now, too, but not originally!). If he wants to
have the last name up for negotiation (ie, consider my maiden name, a
combined name, etc), then he can have more say in the first and middle
names ;) I'm not 100% serious about it, as I like his name just fine
and wouldn't really change it but it kind of reminds him that his name
choice *is* already in the mix.

That said, I think that we have finally established that I'm the one
who cares more about the name, it's meanings, how it actually sounds,
not having the intials spell something horrible (common with a G last
name), not rhyming with our other names, not having all kids with the
same first initial, etc... plus, I'm the pregnant one, so I get a
"bonus" vote. ;)

I would never use anything that he hated or had a negative association
with but this time, I did finally have to put my foot down about it
and ask him to either agree to the name that I liked, or sit down and
have a serious conversation with me to pick an acceptable name - then
I left it alone. After about 3 days, the name really started to grow
on him and now he really likes it. hth -

[Sophie]

"Alpha" > wrote in message
nk.net...
> Sophie says:
>
> > Max is pretty common I'd say. Maxim reminds me of the mens' magazine.
> > Sorry again. Now Maximus is a good one.
>
> I can think of two things wrong with Maximus: gluteus maximus, and
> http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgsh0102.exe?FNM=64&SKW=maximus%2Cml.
>
> :-)
>
> -- Alpha
> mom to Eamon and Quinn

Do I want to go to a website called good vibes? Lol.
I have to admit I've heard of a funny Maximus once cos of the last name, he
did sound like a group of butt muscles :)
Maximus will also make people think of Gladiator (Russell Crowe's
character).

[Sophie]

> He and his last name are both Ukrainian. :-) (meanwhile he has a
> German first name) He is really only half Ukrainian but he still calls
> himself Ukrainian. Anyway, I don't have a problem with ethnic names,
> but my chief complaint is a pronounciation one. I can't properly
> pronounce the names of probably about three quarters of his family. I
> can't even spell most of their names, and wouldn't even be able to
> hazard a guess. I can't even pronounce my own last name properly (my
> MIL can't either, and she's had it for decades). The problem is that
> although Ukrainian uses a phonetic alphabet, that all gets trashed in
> the transliteration - and besides, I can never remember which syllables
> to stress (they are all the exact opposite of what I would naturally
> assume). Ukrainian is a hard language, even just when looking at names.

Gotcha. I wouldn't care for names I, and other people, couldn't say or
spell.

> That's the approach that we're currently trying, actually. I hope it
> ends up giving us more choices of names. Right now we only have the two.

That you both like?

> Nope, it's Clio with an i. There is also Cleo but that's a different
> name. Anyway, I am not bothered by associations with products. I find
> it too much to worry about, since so many names get used for so many
> different products. Marketing has never made sense to me.

True, plus I have a thing for popular culture. I can't hear any name
without thinking of a TV or movie character, or an
actor/actress/singer/athlete. Drove my husband NUTS when we were trying to
come up with names.

> No need to apologize, because that type of stuff doesn't bother me. ;-)
> I've never even heard of that magazine. Maybe it's not available in
> Canada.

:)

[H Schinske]

wrote:

>Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
>name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
>"petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
>pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.

Why couldn't the kid have a name that was used in the family, but be called
something more Anglicized by non-Ukrainian relatives and at school? Seems to me
lots of people do this. I know a little boy named Konstantin who is called
Dean, for instance (in that case it's more for length, I think). I actually
quite like Maxim and Petro, and I also like Max and Peter.

Anyway, take a look at the names of kids going through the school system -- I'd
find the Ukrainian names no harder to learn than lots of the Cambodian or Thai
names, for instance.

--Helen

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Sophie wrote:
>>That's the approach that we're currently trying, actually. I hope it
>>ends up giving us more choices of names. Right now we only have the two.
>
>
> That you both like?

Well *he* really likes them both, but I've only been lukewarm about
them. However, the more I say them and picture my future kid(s), the
more used to them I get, and the more I grow to like them. We'll see.
Still got a couple of months. ;-) I need to be used to whatever we
pick by then, though, otherwise I'll just have a big fat freak out or
something when they want to know what we're naming the child.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

H Schinske wrote:

> wrote:
>
>
>>Unfortunately, this would mean naming our kid Petro, which is not a
>>name I'm particularly fond of. And no, it's *not* pronounced like
>>"petro" as in "petroleum." ;-) See what I mean about the
>>pronounciation thing? OMG the pronounciation thing is a nightmare.
>
>
> Why couldn't the kid have a name that was used in the family, but be called
> something more Anglicized by non-Ukrainian relatives and at school? Seems to me
> lots of people do this. I know a little boy named Konstantin who is called
> Dean, for instance (in that case it's more for length, I think). I actually
> quite like Maxim and Petro, and I also like Max and Peter.

Oh but you see the Ukrainians already have that part all worked out.
Every name has *at least* one nickname associated with it. If we give
the kid a Ukrainian name, then our kid will automatically inherit a
Ukrainian nickname. If we go with something Anglicized as a nickname,
then the poor kid will have 3 names to learn. (heh, no wonder DH sees
no need for a middle name)

Anyway, Maxim is growing on me, so we'll see. I just need to keep
saying it over and over (Clio has had a head start since we picked it
years ago and I've had the chance to picture calling my daughter that
for a while, now - so it's not as bad).

I think that part of my problem is that I can't just automatically get
comfortable with a name. I must associate something with names, then,
but I just don't know what. I associate the *person* with the name, I
think, and it's hard to name a person before you know them.

>
> Anyway, take a look at the names of kids going through the school system -- I'd
> find the Ukrainian names no harder to learn than lots of the Cambodian or Thai
> names, for instance.

Most of the kids from immigrant families that I know of have popular
Canadian first names (unless the kids were born in the previous
country). The only exceptions are in DH's family. ;-)

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Puester wrote:
> Many kids end up being called the nickname given by their
> friends. One generation' "cool" name is the next generation's
> nerdy one.

Heh heh, yeah, and don't you love how stuff recycles? Cool, then nerdy,
then suddenly cool again.

[Donna Metler]

My biggest problem in the name game is that after 10 years of teaching,
there aren't many names that I don't have a specific child associated
with-and usually, the ones with the strongest association are the ones which
aren't all that positive. Popular names in general annoy me (Kirby? No, not
Kirby M, Kirby S-do you mean Kirby Scott or Kirby Shannon...), as do names
which are not pronounced as they're spelled, or are misleading as to gender
(Quick-is that 5 yr old with curls named McKenzie a boy or a girl?).

My husband's preference for names seems to be the "more I hear it, the
better"-so most of his name choices come right off the top 20 lists.


Right now, we're in the "one person suggests a name, and it either gets
added to the list or shot down" phase-which will kick into overdrive once we
know whether this is a boy or a girl. We're long on girls names now-so I'm
rather hoping that this little person is female.

[Daye]

On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 22:39:50 -0400, "Melody"
> wrote:

>Well... I think that's the reason you give babies two names... a first and a
>middle, you pick one, he picks the other...

Our children got 3 names. Firstly, all names for consideration were
approved by both parents. The first name we both agreed on, and that
is what the baby is called. The second and third names: one is chosen
by my DH and one is chosen by me.

#1: Jayan Sophia Alise: We agreed on Jayan. DH chose Sophia. I
chose Alise.

#2: Leopold Sebastian Elijah: We agreed on Leopold. I chose
Sebastian. DH chose Elijah.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan and Leopold
See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/
Updated 28 Feb 2004

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Karen wrote:

> Personally, with Uri, I can see some nasty Urinal/Urine jokes, but maybe
> that's because my oldest son is 8 :-)

Heh heh.

I don't know why, but for some reason, every time I think of the name
Uri, I think of some big HUGE muscular guy. The big huge muscular part
comes from the fact that only someone considerably larger than everyone
else would survive with that name around here. ;-)

[Daye]

On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 23:36:15 -0400, Vicky Bilaniuk
> wrote:

>No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
> He's also dead set against them.

I knew a girl from Ukraine. Her middle name meant "daughter of
<father's name>". So all Ukraine girls have that middle name. Boys'
middle names mean "son of <father's name>". I used to know them in
Ukrainian, but I can't remember what they are now.

Maybe that is why he is dead set against them.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan and Leopold
See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/
Updated 28 Feb 2004

[Sophie]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
...
> Sophie wrote:
> >>That's the approach that we're currently trying, actually. I hope it
> >>ends up giving us more choices of names. Right now we only have the
two.
> >
> >
> > That you both like?
>
> Well *he* really likes them both, but I've only been lukewarm about
> them. However, the more I say them and picture my future kid(s), the
> more used to them I get, and the more I grow to like them. We'll see.
> Still got a couple of months. ;-) I need to be used to whatever we
> pick by then, though, otherwise I'll just have a big fat freak out or
> something when they want to know what we're naming the child.
>

Lol. You can't pick a name by telling yourself to "get used to it". A name
is sooo important IMO.

[PattyMomVA]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote and I snipped:
>
> I don't know why, but for some reason, every time I think of the name
> Uri, I think of some big HUGE muscular guy. The big huge muscular part
> comes from the fact that only someone considerably larger than everyone
> else would survive with that name around here. ;-)

I keep thinking of Mikhail Baryshnikov because of his character in _The
Turning Point_ (spelled Yuri). Not a bad association here. :-)

-Patty, mom of 3

[Amy]

Oh Vicky :-/ I know how complicated it can be, because had we been having
another boy, DH would not have agreed to any name that wasn't after a
Liverpool or Real Madrid soccer player. Fortunately from that persepective,
we're having a girl ;-)
We argued for a while, because I liked the name Anaheira and DH liked the
name Anastasia, so our daughter will just be called Ana, which of course it
would have been shortened to either way anyway, and ironically it's the
Spanish spelling of the name Anna so it fits with DH's heritage as well. So
have you thought about compromise, rather than a name he wants vs. a name
you want?
Your midwife may have a point, a friend of mine recently had her second
c-section, and of course now they give you those neat little horizontal
incisions you can hardly see the scar, so her husband was very blase after
the first one. But this time he looked when he wasn't supposed to before
they had her all stitched up and saw her insides (he described it all rather
graphically to my DH who passed it on to me!), turned rather pale and
instantly agreed to the boy's name she'd wanted.
I hope you can come up with something you're both happy with. Don't forget,
there are always nicknames and middle names, so if your DH picks something
too weird and won't be swayed on it, it's likely the child will never be
called by that name much anyway.

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
. ..
> So, how do people deal with the seemingly totally unavoidable fights
> that develop between two parents when it comes to naming their child? I
> always had a sneaking suspicion that DH and I would have this problem,
> and of course we've been having it ever since we first started talking
> about names. ;-)
>
> Our problem is that he cares about heritage, and I don't. I like
> standard names (well, standard as in "normal" for the area in which you
> live, and the language which you speak in public) DH, OTOH, cares only
> about making sure that names are in line with his heritage (or his
> interests, which are classical history). Yes, *his* heritage. His
> heritage first, then mine. Seriously! So, that means that he prefers
> everything Ukrainian, then German (his mother is German), and *then*
> French as a last choice, because I have a French background. This just
> ticks me off, and I don't know how to deal with it. I just want
> something that's standard Canadian/US English, because this is where we
> *live*. (but OK, I admit that I'm actually not very creative when it
> comes to names)
>
> So, how to deal with this? It's been an ongoing battle for months (well
> years, actually, since we talked about names long before we decided to
> actually have a baby). Well, it hasn't really ramped up, yet, because
> I've been keeping mostly quiet about it, but we're going to have to deal
> with it soon, now.
>
> I actually mentioned this to the midwife, just because I felt like
> whining that day. ;-) She said that usually guys give in after they
> see their wives/girlfriends go through labour, but DH tends to be
> different in that the more he feels pushed in some way, the more
> stubborn he gets. I'm not sure that watching me go through labour will
> have much of an affect on him when it comes to names. It will be sort
> of like "Wow, I can't believe you did that, and I'm glad it was you and
> not me, but I still say we should call him Uri." (note: we have
> actually agreed on a girl's name - it's just picking a boy's name that
> is giving us trouble. We've agreed on Clio for a girl, after the muse
> of history, but *only* if it's after the muse of history. Just "Clio"
> is unacceptable otherwise.)
>
> He's willing to go with Latin names over English names, actually (the
> history thing), so one name that we're *sort of* agreeing to for a boy
> is Maxim, but I'm not too sure if I'm all that hot on that one. At
> least I could call our possible future son Max for short, though. But
> believe it or not, I already know a kid named Max! Although I want
> something fairly standard for where we live, I at least want to try to
> pick something that no one else I know already has! ;-)
>
> Oh WHY does this have to be hard?!
>

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Sophie wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>Sophie wrote:
>>
>>>>That's the approach that we're currently trying, actually. I hope it
>>>>ends up giving us more choices of names. Right now we only have the
>
> two.
>
>>>
>>>That you both like?
>>
>>Well *he* really likes them both, but I've only been lukewarm about
>>them. However, the more I say them and picture my future kid(s), the
>>more used to them I get, and the more I grow to like them. We'll see.
>>Still got a couple of months. ;-) I need to be used to whatever we
>>pick by then, though, otherwise I'll just have a big fat freak out or
>>something when they want to know what we're naming the child.
>>
>
>
> Lol. You can't pick a name by telling yourself to "get used to it". A name
> is sooo important IMO.
>
>

Oh no no - what I mean is that even if I like a name, I still don't feel
comfortable with it unless I get used to it first.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Daye wrote:

> On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 23:36:15 -0400, Vicky Bilaniuk
> > wrote:
>
>
>>No middle names. I don't think anyone in his family has one, actually.
>> He's also dead set against them.
>
>
> I knew a girl from Ukraine. Her middle name meant "daughter of
> <father's name>". So all Ukraine girls have that middle name. Boys'
> middle names mean "son of <father's name>". I used to know them in
> Ukrainian, but I can't remember what they are now.
>
> Maybe that is why he is dead set against them.

I don't know. I'll have to ask. I've never heard of that "daughter/son
of" thing.

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

PattyMomVA wrote:

> "Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote and I snipped:
>
>>I don't know why, but for some reason, every time I think of the name
>>Uri, I think of some big HUGE muscular guy. The big huge muscular part
>>comes from the fact that only someone considerably larger than everyone
>>else would survive with that name around here. ;-)
>
>
> I keep thinking of Mikhail Baryshnikov because of his character in _The
> Turning Point_ (spelled Yuri). Not a bad association here. :-)

Heh heh.

And you know, it might be that Yuri is always spelled with a Y. Grrr, I
keep messing up spelling! ;-)

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Amy wrote:

> Oh Vicky :-/ I know how complicated it can be, because had we been having
> another boy, DH would not have agreed to any name that wasn't after a
> Liverpool or Real Madrid soccer player. Fortunately from that persepective,

OMG are you serious?! ;-) Now this is something I would simply not
back down on. I would not be naming my kid after some soccer player, or
any other kind of sports person. ;-)

> we're having a girl ;-)
> We argued for a while, because I liked the name Anaheira and DH liked the
> name Anastasia, so our daughter will just be called Ana, which of course it

My MIL and FIL were headed for a huge argument if they ever had a
daughter. FIL wanted Anastasia and was not going to budge on it, and
MIL absolutely hated that name. Fortunately for them, they never had a
girl. Unfortunately for my DH, he never got to see how to resolve this
kind of thing.

> Your midwife may have a point, a friend of mine recently had her second
> c-section, and of course now they give you those neat little horizontal
> incisions you can hardly see the scar, so her husband was very blase after
> the first one. But this time he looked when he wasn't supposed to before
> they had her all stitched up and saw her insides (he described it all rather
> graphically to my DH who passed it on to me!), turned rather pale and
> instantly agreed to the boy's name she'd wanted.
> I hope you can come up with something you're both happy with. Don't forget,

I definitely want something that we're both happy with. I don't want
one person to come away unsatisfied. Talk about something one can hold
a grudge about for a long time. ;-) Anyway, part of my problem is that
since I'm going into this only wanting names that we *both* agree to, I
actually don't have anything picked out that I have my heart set on, so
if he does suddenly defer to me, we're screwed. I'll end up picking one
of the two we've already got picked out.

[Amy]

"Vicky Bilaniuk" > wrote in message
...
> Amy wrote:
>
> > Oh Vicky :-/ I know how complicated it can be, because had we been
having
> > another boy, DH would not have agreed to any name that wasn't after a
> > Liverpool or Real Madrid soccer player. Fortunately from that
persepective,
>
> OMG are you serious?! ;-) Now this is something I would simply not
> back down on. I would not be naming my kid after some soccer player, or
> any other kind of sports person. ;-)

Just about! They were the only suggestions he had, anyway. Our first son we
named Carlos, after Roberto Carlos, but I didn't really care about the
player association because most people over here wouldn't know that anyway,
and I thought it was one of the more 'normal' names he'd suggested. Plus it
sounded ok with the Spanish surname. But I put my foot down at having a
Ronaldo or a Figo, etc etc...

> My MIL and FIL were headed for a huge argument if they ever had a
> daughter. FIL wanted Anastasia and was not going to budge on it, and
> MIL absolutely hated that name. Fortunately for them, they never had a
> girl. Unfortunately for my DH, he never got to see how to resolve this
> kind of thing.

I see what you mean. My parents sort of took turns picking first and middle
names, since they're very different people who've never compromised on
anything much. Hence I ended up with a very common first name and an unusual
Indian middle name that everyone mispronounces. They also took turns picking
godparents; my brother and sister got doting godparents who showered them
with gifts their entire youth, I got some old Indian guy my Dad met once on
his OE, who they never heard back from, they think he might have died before
the letter got there, lol...

> I definitely want something that we're both happy with. I don't want
> one person to come away unsatisfied. Talk about something one can hold
> a grudge about for a long time. ;-) Anyway, part of my problem is that
> since I'm going into this only wanting names that we *both* agree to, I
> actually don't have anything picked out that I have my heart set on, so
> if he does suddenly defer to me, we're screwed. I'll end up picking one
> of the two we've already got picked out.

As long as you pick something that neither of you hates, it will probably be
fine. I'm the fussier of the two of us, and probably if I'm honest the most
controlling one too, but I've given in to DH on the names thing and it
actually felt quite good. Plus, names grow on you. Just practice shouting it
out the door, or in a playground, and if you don't feel silly (other than
calling to someone who's not there yet!) it's probably a choice you can live
with.

[Irene]

"Mary W." > wrote in message >...

> I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
> before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
> though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
> first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
> to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
> when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
> remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
>
Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)

> Now if only we could pick a boy name.....
>
Good luck!

Irene

[Mary W.]

Irene wrote:

> "Mary W." > wrote in message >...
>
>
>>I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
>>before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
>>though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
>>first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
>>to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
>>when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
>>remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
>>
>
> Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)
>

Thanks! Still working on the middle name, but we have several
to choose from...

Mary

[Vicki S]

Vicky Bilaniuk > wrote:
> And you know, it might be that Yuri is always spelled with a Y. Grrr, I
> keep messing up spelling! ;-)

Well, Uri (pronounced OOree) is a real name. I have a friend from
Chicago named Uri. "Uri" is a Hebrew name and it means "my flame" or
"my light". For all I know it is a name from other cultures/languages
as well.

--
-- Vicki
Married DH May 21, 1995. Ima shel Stoic, born 11/16/99;
Whiny, born at home 5/19/02, and Expected, "due" September 4, 2004.

[Irene]

"Mary W." > wrote in message et>...
> Irene wrote:
>
> > "Mary W." > wrote in message >...
> >
> >
> >>I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
> >>before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
> >>though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
> >>first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
> >>to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
> >>when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
> >>remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
> >>
> >
> > Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)
> >
>
> Thanks! Still working on the middle name, but we have several
> to choose from...
>
My first thought - with your last name, I'd probably go with 3 syllables.

And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)

Irene

[Tori M.]

"Irene" > wrote in message
om...
> "Mary W." > wrote in message
et>...
> > Irene wrote:
> >
> > > "Mary W." > wrote in message
>...
> > >
> > >
> > >>I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
> > >>before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
> > >>though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
> > >>first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
> > >>to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
> > >>when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
> > >>remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
> > >>
> > >
> > > Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)
> > >
> >
> > Thanks! Still working on the middle name, but we have several
> > to choose from...
> >
> My first thought - with your last name, I'd probably go with 3 syllables.
>
> And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)
>
> Irene

Yes that would be bad COW. So I guess Claire Olivia would be out;)

Tori
--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

[Leslie]

Vicky said:

>I wish that we had
>a culture where parents pick a child's name, but when the child reaches
>a certain age, they can choose their own adult name, one that suits them
>and one that they like.

My daughter has done this already. At least, she has changed the spelling of
her name and has all her friends and some of her teachers going along with it.

Her name is Emily (given her WAY before the current surge in popularity--ack!).
But she calls herself Emili.

Leslie

[Mary W.]

Irene wrote:
> "Mary W." > wrote in message et>...
>
>>Irene wrote:
>>
>>
>>>"Mary W." > wrote in message >...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
>>>>before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
>>>>though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
>>>>first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
>>>>to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
>>>>when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
>>>>remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)
>>>
>>
>>Thanks! Still working on the middle name, but we have several
>>to choose from...
>>
>
> My first thought - with your last name, I'd probably go with 3 syllables.
>
> And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)

Definately 3 syllables. We have several family names to choose
from. Or might just do something else. Baby's last name
actually begins with a T (and is one syllable, so a multisyllable
middle name is needed - baby gets DH's last name).

Mary

[Mary W.]

Tori M. wrote:

> "Irene" > wrote in message
> om...
>
>>"Mary W." > wrote in message
>
> et>...
>
>>>Irene wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>"Mary W." > wrote in message
>
> >...
>
>>>>
>>>>>I think that happened with DH with respect to our girl name. Long
>>>>>before this baby was conceived I started throwing out names, even
>>>>>though I had already decided the next girl would be Claire. Anyway,
>>>>>first time I threw out Claire, he hated it. Next time, he was lukewarm
>>>>>to it. By the time I was actually pregnant, he'd heard it enough that
>>>>>when I suggested it he said he liked it. I honestly don't think he
>>>>>remembers hating it at first and I'm not about to remind him.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Ooh, I like Claire! ;-)
>>>>
>>>
>>>Thanks! Still working on the middle name, but we have several
>>>to choose from...
>>>
>>
>>My first thought - with your last name, I'd probably go with 3 syllables.
>>
>>And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)
>>
>>Irene
>
>
> Yes that would be bad COW. So I guess Claire Olivia would be out;)


Baby's last name actually begins with a T (DH's last name), and
COT isn't terrible. Claire Olivia is quite pretty ....
But COW, I would have avoided!

Mary

[Vicky Bilaniuk]

Irene wrote:

> And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)

OB is my favourite brand of tampon, so I knew *ages* ago that I could
never name a kid something that starts with an O. ;-) I did NOT want
to have this conversation:
kid: Mom, why do you always buy tampons with my initials on them?
Me: Ummmmmmm...

[Irene]

Vicky Bilaniuk > wrote in message >...
> Irene wrote:
>
> > And, nothing that starts with an O! ;-)
>
> OB is my favourite brand of tampon, so I knew *ages* ago that I could
> never name a kid something that starts with an O. ;-) I did NOT want
> to have this conversation:
> kid: Mom, why do you always buy tampons with my initials on them?
> Me: Ummmmmmm...

Lol!

Irene

[Hillary Israeli]

In >,
KellieGaines > wrote:

*That said, I think that we have finally established that I'm the one
*who cares more about the name, it's meanings, how it actually sounds,
*not having the intials spell something horrible (common with a G last
*name), not rhyming with our other names, not having all kids with the
*same first initial, etc... plus, I'm the pregnant one, so I get a
*"bonus" vote. ;)

That reminds me, I have been meaning to tell you - my FIL informed me the
other day that the new baby "needs" to have a name that is 5 letters long,
to "go with" Jacob and Naomi. :)

h.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

[Zannah]

In article >,
"Tori M." > wrote:

> >
> > My husband resolutely *refused* to suggest any baby names. However, we
> > had both agreed that the other one had power of veto - that we wouldn't
> > call the baby something the other one hated. Would your husband agree to
> > that? (And then you could veto Breeeeeauuuna?)
> >
> > My husband vetoed my first three suggestions, including the name my
> > heart was set on, but I figured she was his daughter too, so I wanted a
> > name we both liked.
> >
> > Zannah.
> >
> > (whose shortlist consists of 37 boys' names and 43 girls' names, but my
> > husband hasn't seen it yet.)
>
> My best friend told her husband that if he did not pick a name that she
> would name the children whatever she wanted and would tell him the names she
> had picked out. If he did not come up with something he liked by the time
> they where born they got her names... This was after he turned down just
> about every name she sugested with the first 2 and did not offer any of his
> own;) He came up with 2 reasonable names for the last 2.

We ended up with a name for our daughter that I wa sless enthusiastic
about, but which my husband liked (admittedly he made no suggestions). I
think, in the end, it suits her better than the names I truly, truly
loved. And it's less popular than them, so I think it unlikely that
she'll ever have the experience of being [firstname] T. (Mind you, I've
got a reasonably uncommon first name, and there were two of us with the
same name in a class of 22 girls.)

> Zannah maybe you should narrow down your list a bit.. I have seen baby books
> with fewer names in it;)

Well, I've given him the list, and he's gotten as far as crossing off
the first name. We're still doing better than with my daughter; I think
at the time of her birth we had 12 boys names and 50 girls names... My
mother would phone up every day and say "haven't you named that baby
yet?" And it would be rather cool having a name before the nany was born.

Zannah.

(#2 in September 2004)