Re: Here we go...

[Phoebe & Allyson]

Jodie wrote:

> she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
> satisfying her anymore?".

May just be a generational thing - I took Caterpillar to
visit two clients in their 80's, and both said how terrible
it was their milk wasn't good enough to bf. Heck, Allyson's
mom, who's not yet 60, was told her milk wasn't enough to
satisfy her babies.

Phoebe :)

[rosie]

"Jodie" > wrote in message
...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.

Well done, very few people reach it to the six month mark. My DD has just
turned one and is still bf day and night - and loves it:-)

I was bfing in a restaurant the other day and a very elderly lady said to me
it was a wonderful sight to see - which goes to show everyone has an opinion
but the important thing is to keep doing if it feels good for you and little
one.

Rosie

[Sara]

Jodie wrote:

> Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
> feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
> does. Wonder what they will say when they see me nursing a toddler???

I've gotten only one "are you still nursing?", from a friend who was
just ignorant, not judgemental -- and I NIP all the time, with a baby
who looks like he's more than a year old (he's nine months). I get the
occasional smile, but mostly people just don't care.

Eh, New York City, given what people walk by every day, what's one
more sight...

--
Sara, accompanied by her little New Yorker

<< I check this e-mail account infrequently >>

[Belphoebe]

"Jodie" > wrote in message
...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.

[ . . . ]

When DS was around 6-7 weeks old, I was chatting with a colleague at the
college where I was teaching, and she wanted to know how DS was doing. I
mentioned his appetite--nursing 'round the clock when I'm not there
teaching, growth spurt, yada yada yada. She threw me for a loop when she
asked me, "You thinking of giving that up." She'd seemed very BF friendly
until then, so I wasn't expecting that at all, especially with such a young
baby. I said "No," and she replied with something like, "Oh. Good for
you." (Not nastily--sort of neutral, I guess.)

Belphoebe and her "little bug," 8 March, 2003

[Bruce and Jeanne]

Jodie wrote:

> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
>
[snip]

>
> Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
> feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
> does.
Of course, you'll get comments - I did from my mother, best friend
(who's single and childless) and maybe others. I didn't really get the
"You're still nursing" until DD hit the one year mark (6 months seems a
bit early for that to begin). I've learned to totally ignore these
"suggestions" and comments. Just remind yourself that the comments are
a reflection of the people making the comment, not you.

Was it hard that my mother wasn't totally supportive of me nursing a
toddler? Not really. I knew it would be strange to her so I wasn't
really expecting her to sign on and endorse it whole-heartedly. Knowing
my mother, that would have been unrealistic of me. But as I continued
to nurse, my mother stopped the comments because she realized that she
had little impact on this (and other parenting) decisions I (and DH)
make and will make.

I had total support from my sister and SIL as well as BIL and brother.
So, it was obvious that there was a generation gap thing going on.


Jeanne

[Jodie]

"Well I can't blame the little old ladies. They really were told
that breastmilk wasn't good for babies and they were brainwashed to
think that formula was better in those days. "

Yeah, I know. FIL's SO, again, in her 70's, and I were talking about
bfing. She said that she had tried to bf her first son unsuccessfully.
She said she went to the dr who expressed some of her milk and told her
she had "that ole' bluejohn". I had never heard of that before.

Jodie

[Jodie]

"Allyson's mom, who's not yet 60, was told her milk wasn't enough
to satisfy her babies."

Doesn't that make you grateful for the strides we have made? That's
sad.

Jodie

[Jodie]

"Well done, very few people reach it to the six month mark. "

Thank you :)

Jodie

[Jodie]

"I've gotten only one "are you still nursing?", from a friend
who was just ignorant, not judgemental -- and I NIP all the time, with a
baby who looks like he's more than a year old (he's nine months). I get
the occasional smile, but mostly people just don't care.
Eh, New York City, given what people walk by every day, what's one more
sight..."

Knock on wood, I've not personally had any negative NIP experiences,
yet. Wouldn't suprise me if it does happen, though, as I just don't see
many NIPers around here.

Jodie

[Sue]

Well I can't blame the little old ladies. They really were told that
breastmilk wasn't good for babies and they were brainwashed to think that
formula was better in those days. So really it is a generational thing and
that wouldn't have bothered me at all. Educate them nicely and perhaps they
will see how nice it is and go back and tell one of their grand-daughters or
nieces how wonderful breastfeeding is.
--
Sue
mom to three girls

Jodie > wrote in message
...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
>
> Last week, at a family gathering, my SIL (who didn't even try to bf) saw
> me nursing dd and said, "Are you still doing that?". To which I just
> simply smiled and said, "Yes".
>
> Tonight, while outside visiting with my neighbor (a very lovely lady, in
> her early 70's), she was holding dd and we were chatting about how much
> she is growing, blah, blah, blah. When I commented that she's going
> through a growth spurt and is basically nursing from 5 pm to bedtime
> (around 9pm), she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
> satisfying her anymore?". I simply explained that that's what babies do
> when they go through a growth spurt (thanks to this group), and told her
> that she is doing just fine on my milk.
>
> Then another neighbor walked over to see dd (neighbor is also late 60's
> to early 70's). DD spit up, and after we both got cleaned up, I
> commented that she was ready for a refill. To which neighbor #2 says,
> "What's she take?". I had to laugh (on the inside, of course) like I
> was going to say "light, on tap, please". I just said "breastmilk".
>
> (I do have to point out that I really like both of these ladies. They
> are very sweet, friendly and very "grandmotherly" to the kids)
>
> Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
> feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
> does. Wonder what they will say when they see me nursing a toddler???
> <g>
>
> Jodie
> mom to the "still" nursing almost six month old
>

[CY]

Hmm. I have never had any comments asking me when I am going to give it up
nor have I ever had a negative NIP experience. I feel very lucky (DD is 17
months so you'd think someone would've said something by now). Must be that
I challenge someone to say anything, just anything, just by the look on my
face. LOL!
"Jodie" > wrote in message
...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
>
> Last week, at a family gathering, my SIL (who didn't even try to bf) saw
> me nursing dd and said, "Are you still doing that?". To which I just
> simply smiled and said, "Yes".
>
> Tonight, while outside visiting with my neighbor (a very lovely lady, in
> her early 70's), she was holding dd and we were chatting about how much
> she is growing, blah, blah, blah. When I commented that she's going
> through a growth spurt and is basically nursing from 5 pm to bedtime
> (around 9pm), she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
> satisfying her anymore?". I simply explained that that's what babies do
> when they go through a growth spurt (thanks to this group), and told her
> that she is doing just fine on my milk.
>
> Then another neighbor walked over to see dd (neighbor is also late 60's
> to early 70's). DD spit up, and after we both got cleaned up, I
> commented that she was ready for a refill. To which neighbor #2 says,
> "What's she take?". I had to laugh (on the inside, of course) like I
> was going to say "light, on tap, please". I just said "breastmilk".
>
> (I do have to point out that I really like both of these ladies. They
> are very sweet, friendly and very "grandmotherly" to the kids)
>
> Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
> feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
> does. Wonder what they will say when they see me nursing a toddler???
> <g>
>
> Jodie
> mom to the "still" nursing almost six month old
>

[iphigenia]

Jodie wrote:
>> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
>> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.

I haven't had any negative comments, but I think there are two factors
working in my favor:
1. I'm partially hearing-impaired, so I often don't hear what passers-by are
saying unless I'm really listening
2. Anyone who knows me knows how opinionated and, well, odd, I am; they
probably don't want to risk getting into a long debate with me <g>

My mom didn't breastfeed any of us - I was the oldest, I was in an incubator
for a few days, she didn't get to try to nurse me until I was 5 days, by
then I had firmly developed nipple preference. That would be a challenge to
overcome today - in 1975, with no support, it didn't happen.

My grandma didn't nurse any of her seven, either - doctors said her milk
wasn't good enough when her oldest was born, blah blah. Of course, these are
probably the same doctors who yelled at her if she gained more than fifteen
pounds with each pregnancy...

Neither of them has been anything but really supportive, I'm lucky. My
grandma told me a couple months ago that her mother felt that all babies
should be nursed through two summers, which I thought an interesting bit of
folk wisdom.

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net

[iphigenia]

Iuil wrote:
>> Makes sense to me.
>>

I thought so, too, in light of the less-advanced refrigeration in
g-grandma's day.

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net

[A&G&K]

"Phoebe & Allyson" > wrote in message
...
> Jodie wrote:
>
> > she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
> > satisfying her anymore?".
>
> May just be a generational thing - I took Caterpillar to
> visit two clients in their 80's, and both said how terrible
> it was their milk wasn't good enough to bf. Heck, Allyson's
> mom, who's not yet 60, was told her milk wasn't enough to
> satisfy her babies.
>
> Phoebe :)

My Mum (early 60s) and my Nana (late 80s) were both told this mistruth ...
(although Mum stuck it out for 3 months when nursing me before caving in to
the Dr). Pretty sad huh?
What's even sadder is that when my Mum was in labour with my younger
brother, the nurse told her to "hold it in" as the Dr wasn't at the hospital
and he "wouldn't be pleased" if Mum gave birth before he arrived. ... and
my Mum is no pushover so times must have been bad.
Amanda

[KC]

Yeah, I am an old lady of 38, and I used to babysit alot around 20 and
more years ago. Now mind you I didn't really pay that much attention
to bf then since I had no babes of my own, but it seems like alot of
people just breastfed for 2 - 6 weeks back then. I remember hearing
that it is very important to bf during the first 2 weeks, and that 6
weeks was a very reasonable time to quit. So, I think alot of people
are clueless that 1 year is the recommendation now.

KC

(Jodie) wrote in message >...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
>
> Last week, at a family gathering, my SIL (who didn't even try to bf) saw
> me nursing dd and said, "Are you still doing that?". To which I just
> simply smiled and said, "Yes".
>
> Tonight, while outside visiting with my neighbor (a very lovely lady, in
> her early 70's), she was holding dd and we were chatting about how much
> she is growing, blah, blah, blah. When I commented that she's going
> through a growth spurt and is basically nursing from 5 pm to bedtime
> (around 9pm), she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
> satisfying her anymore?". I simply explained that that's what babies do
> when they go through a growth spurt (thanks to this group), and told her
> that she is doing just fine on my milk.
>
> Then another neighbor walked over to see dd (neighbor is also late 60's
> to early 70's). DD spit up, and after we both got cleaned up, I
> commented that she was ready for a refill. To which neighbor #2 says,
> "What's she take?". I had to laugh (on the inside, of course) like I
> was going to say "light, on tap, please". I just said "breastmilk".
>
> (I do have to point out that I really like both of these ladies. They
> are very sweet, friendly and very "grandmotherly" to the kids)
>
> Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
> feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
> does. Wonder what they will say when they see me nursing a toddler???
> <g>
>
> Jodie
> mom to the "still" nursing almost six month old

[Andrea A. Phillips]

"Jodie" > wrote in message
...
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.

You know, my DD is 14 months, now, and I've been starting to get some of
these comments, too. It's interesting, though, because these people are
seeming genuinely surprised and curious, and not hostile or judgemental, the
way that I know some other posters have been approached.

I see it as an opportunity to spread my lactivist opinions around. :) I
spout AAP and WHO numbers, anthropological theory, the longer-means-smarter
study... and people seem genuinely interested. Of course, I live on Long
Island, NY, and this seems to be a very BF-friendly area. I don't think
anyone's ever even noticed me NIP, much less given me the evil eye over it
(except for this poor flustered late-teens waiter one time, he couldn't
bring himself to look at me, poor guy was so nervous :).

Anyway, if you view these questions as an opportunity to educate and
illuminate, maybe you'll not mind so much. And maybe it'll make a difference
in someone's life, somewhere down the line. :)

--Andrea

[Em]

"Jodie" > wrote in message
> DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
> start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
<snip>

I only lurk & read here on a semi-regular basis, so this is kind of late
response. I just *had* to add though that one of the new moms in my LLL
chapter was asked whether she was "still doing that" when her baby was five
*weeks* old! (by a mid-twenties age co-worker). Wow.

--
Em
edd 9/23/03

[esthela]

KC wrote:
> Yeah, I am an old lady of 38, and I used to babysit alot around 20 and
> more years ago. Now mind you I didn't really pay that much attention
> to bf then since I had no babes of my own, but it seems like alot of
> people just breastfed for 2 - 6 weeks back then. I remember hearing
> that it is very important to bf during the first 2 weeks, and that 6
> weeks was a very reasonable time to quit. So, I think alot of people
> are clueless that 1 year is the recommendation now.

For *at least* a year...

>
> KC
>
> (Jodie) wrote in message >...
>
>>DD will be six months on the 28th. I've been wondering when I will
>>start to get comments about the fact that she is "still" nursing.
>>
>>Last week, at a family gathering, my SIL (who didn't even try to bf) saw
>>me nursing dd and said, "Are you still doing that?". To which I just
>>simply smiled and said, "Yes".
>>
>>Tonight, while outside visiting with my neighbor (a very lovely lady, in
>>her early 70's), she was holding dd and we were chatting about how much
>>she is growing, blah, blah, blah. When I commented that she's going
>>through a growth spurt and is basically nursing from 5 pm to bedtime
>>(around 9pm), she asked, "Well, do you think your milk just isn't
>>satisfying her anymore?". I simply explained that that's what babies do
>>when they go through a growth spurt (thanks to this group), and told her
>>that she is doing just fine on my milk.
>>
>>Then another neighbor walked over to see dd (neighbor is also late 60's
>>to early 70's). DD spit up, and after we both got cleaned up, I
>>commented that she was ready for a refill. To which neighbor #2 says,
>>"What's she take?". I had to laugh (on the inside, of course) like I
>>was going to say "light, on tap, please". I just said "breastmilk".
>>
>>(I do have to point out that I really like both of these ladies. They
>>are very sweet, friendly and very "grandmotherly" to the kids)

Great opportunity to educate them!
>>
>>Anyway, my point is that I was so hoping I could avoid the comments and
>>feeling like I have to explain. But, reality prevails, as it always
>>does. Wonder what they will say when they see me nursing a toddler???
>><g>

As kids grow older, nursing episodes become more of an indoor type of
thing, even though it shouldn't. I came to this realization when my now
4 year old was about 2, and she could wait until we got home. Now we
don't nurse in public whatsoever in order to avoid negative comments,
which I can definetely take, but I just don't want her to think she is
doing something wrong. Plus, I also have an 11 month old baby, and when
they both nurse, my top is completely up, which is nothing discret.
Also, we go by the "don't ask, don't tell" rule. Other people don't have
to know, unless it concerns them enough to ask.
>>
>>Jodie
>>mom to the "still" nursing almost six month old

[Irene]

(Jodie) wrote in message >...
> "Well I can't blame the little old ladies. They really were told
> that breastmilk wasn't good for babies and they were brainwashed to
> think that formula was better in those days. "
>
> Yeah, I know. FIL's SO, again, in her 70's, and I were talking about
> bfing. She said that she had tried to bf her first son unsuccessfully.
> She said she went to the dr who expressed some of her milk and told her
> she had "that ole' bluejohn". I had never heard of that before.
>
> Jodie

I wonder where the generation thing changed, since my 93 year old
grandma recently mentioned "Good for you" when she realized ds was
still nursing. (I forget how old he was at the time, but at least 18
months). I haven't had any extensive conversations with her, since
she's very self-conscious about being hard of hearing and doesn't like
to have long discussions about anything (which is very sad in and of
itself.)

Irene