Karen Askey
July 23rd 03, 02:49 PM
I posted this article a little over a week ago and guess what I got from my
mother the other day? She had clipped this article on the family bed and
slipped it into a bag of coupons and goodies for the kids!!!!!!
I had to check twice to see that she was not the Grandma who wrote the original
question. I guess not since 1) I only have 2 children and 2) we aren't trying
to force the older child sleep in his own room.
I wrote across it in thick marker "HA HA FUNNY!" and put it on the fridge where
she'll be sure to see it when she comes to visit next time.
In article >, SupareX writes:
>Of course, with Rosemond, it is no surprise that he has yet another article
>against an AP tenet, but this one I think is bad. Grandma needs to mind her
>own business. It's not the parents who are writing in complaining! Access
>it at www.rosemond.com
>
>July 8, 2003
>John's Weekly Column: 07/08/2003
>"The Family Bed"
>
>by John Rosemond
>
>Q: My 2-year-old grandson has slept with his parents since he was born, but
>with the birth of a third child (he has a 4-year-old sister), he was moved to
>a bed of his own in an adjoining room. Since he refuses to cooperate in the
>new sleeping arrangements, either my son or daughter-in-law rocks him to
>sleep, which might take an hour or more. Then, without fail, he wakes up in
>the middle of the night and goes to his parents' bed where the new baby is
>sleeping. The parents try to make him go back to his bed, but oftentimes, the
>father goes to the other room to sleep. At other times, the 2-year-old wakes
>up his older sister and together they wake up the entire house with their
>shenanigans. What can a grandma do to help in a situation like this?
>
>
>
>A: Let this be a lesson to all who are reading this that while the "family
>bed" may seem warm and fuzzy, it often devolves into chaos of this sort. If
>this 2-year-old had been trained to sleep in his own bed since birth, this
>would not be happening. Assuming no other behavior problems had developed,
>he'd be a well-adjusted child who was perfectly content with a room and a bed
>of his own.
>
>Despite the claims of "family bed" advocates, not one study done by an
>objective researcher has demonstrated benefit in either the short- or
>long-term to the children so bedded. The American Academy of Pediatrics
>recommends against the practice, noting that infants are sometimes smothered
>by parents who inadvertently roll over on them in the night or as a result of
>getting tangled in king size sheets and blankets.
>
>Rarely do I meet a father who has chosen to initiate this unnecessary
>practice. It's nearly always the mother's call, and the mother in question is
>almost invariably one who has bought into the propaganda that bedding with
>her child promotes mother-child bonding. If the other moms in her social
>group are bedding with their kids, she feels the additional pressure of not
>wanting to be the most "un-bonded" mom in the neighborhood.
>
>There are no two ways about it, a child who sleeps with his parents develops
>a dependency upon sleeping with his parents, one that comes back to haunt all
>concerned when the parents decide the child's presence in the bed has become
>inconvenient.
>
>Meanwhile, this child has been deprived of the inestimable benefit of
>learning that he was not a member of the wedding, that the marriage is not a
>threesome.
>
>During my private practice years, I saw a lot of these kids. They were, as a
>rule, not happy campers. The parents in the above question are obviously slow
>learners as they're making the same mistake with the newborn.
>
>What can Grandma do to help? She can say, "When you would like some
>old-fashioned advice from an old-fashioned older woman who is obviously out
>of step with the times, don't hesitate to ask." While she's waiting for her
>son and daughter-in-law to come to their senses, she might consider cutting
>this column out of her local paper and mailing it to her them in a plain
>brown envelope, sans return address.
>
koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)
mother the other day? She had clipped this article on the family bed and
slipped it into a bag of coupons and goodies for the kids!!!!!!
I had to check twice to see that she was not the Grandma who wrote the original
question. I guess not since 1) I only have 2 children and 2) we aren't trying
to force the older child sleep in his own room.
I wrote across it in thick marker "HA HA FUNNY!" and put it on the fridge where
she'll be sure to see it when she comes to visit next time.
In article >, SupareX writes:
>Of course, with Rosemond, it is no surprise that he has yet another article
>against an AP tenet, but this one I think is bad. Grandma needs to mind her
>own business. It's not the parents who are writing in complaining! Access
>it at www.rosemond.com
>
>July 8, 2003
>John's Weekly Column: 07/08/2003
>"The Family Bed"
>
>by John Rosemond
>
>Q: My 2-year-old grandson has slept with his parents since he was born, but
>with the birth of a third child (he has a 4-year-old sister), he was moved to
>a bed of his own in an adjoining room. Since he refuses to cooperate in the
>new sleeping arrangements, either my son or daughter-in-law rocks him to
>sleep, which might take an hour or more. Then, without fail, he wakes up in
>the middle of the night and goes to his parents' bed where the new baby is
>sleeping. The parents try to make him go back to his bed, but oftentimes, the
>father goes to the other room to sleep. At other times, the 2-year-old wakes
>up his older sister and together they wake up the entire house with their
>shenanigans. What can a grandma do to help in a situation like this?
>
>
>
>A: Let this be a lesson to all who are reading this that while the "family
>bed" may seem warm and fuzzy, it often devolves into chaos of this sort. If
>this 2-year-old had been trained to sleep in his own bed since birth, this
>would not be happening. Assuming no other behavior problems had developed,
>he'd be a well-adjusted child who was perfectly content with a room and a bed
>of his own.
>
>Despite the claims of "family bed" advocates, not one study done by an
>objective researcher has demonstrated benefit in either the short- or
>long-term to the children so bedded. The American Academy of Pediatrics
>recommends against the practice, noting that infants are sometimes smothered
>by parents who inadvertently roll over on them in the night or as a result of
>getting tangled in king size sheets and blankets.
>
>Rarely do I meet a father who has chosen to initiate this unnecessary
>practice. It's nearly always the mother's call, and the mother in question is
>almost invariably one who has bought into the propaganda that bedding with
>her child promotes mother-child bonding. If the other moms in her social
>group are bedding with their kids, she feels the additional pressure of not
>wanting to be the most "un-bonded" mom in the neighborhood.
>
>There are no two ways about it, a child who sleeps with his parents develops
>a dependency upon sleeping with his parents, one that comes back to haunt all
>concerned when the parents decide the child's presence in the bed has become
>inconvenient.
>
>Meanwhile, this child has been deprived of the inestimable benefit of
>learning that he was not a member of the wedding, that the marriage is not a
>threesome.
>
>During my private practice years, I saw a lot of these kids. They were, as a
>rule, not happy campers. The parents in the above question are obviously slow
>learners as they're making the same mistake with the newborn.
>
>What can Grandma do to help? She can say, "When you would like some
>old-fashioned advice from an old-fashioned older woman who is obviously out
>of step with the times, don't hesitate to ask." While she's waiting for her
>son and daughter-in-law to come to their senses, she might consider cutting
>this column out of her local paper and mailing it to her them in a plain
>brown envelope, sans return address.
>
koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)