Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

Akuvikate wrote:
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.



Yes, but no book is the same as seeing your mother going
through birth.
I was present when my daughter gave birth and, frankly, I
was wishing
I was in the waiting room with her squeamish father-in-law.
It's your call, but I wouldn't.

gloria p

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

On Mar 7, 3:22�pm, Akuvikate wrote:
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. �My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. �But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. �

My midwife had a whole lending library of videos about home births. I
know we watched a couple with the girls (who were only just four when
Peter was born). We weren't planning to have them there, but wanted
them to be prepared in case the birth happened to be really fast and
did happen with them at home. (Ha! it was a first labor, the twins
having been C-section, and took days.) I'm sorry I can't remember
titles, but http://www.homebirthvideos.com has a lot.

--Helen S.

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

What about watching a couple birth shows, like A Baby Story or Birth Day.
Ask her how she feels about being there when Jr. is born. Explain that you
may make sounds or cry out, but that it's good pain, blah blah blah. Let
her know that Nana will be there with her and she could leave at any time,
etc. Then let her decide.

It sounds like she is a good candidate, since she isn't squeamish.
--

Jamie Clark



"Akuvikate" wrote in message
...
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

I second Jamie's idea. I would watch the shows, especially the ones on the
Discovery Channel because those are more realistic. Watching those with her
will open up a discussion about it. I do know that one of the midwives on
the pregnancy group has a website with lots of videos and pictures of
births, but darn it I cannot remember her name right now. (Anne, was it
Stephanie, but I don't remember her website).
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Akuvikate" wrote in message
...
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

Sue wrote:
I second Jamie's idea. I would watch the shows, especially the ones on the
Discovery Channel because those are more realistic. Watching those with her
will open up a discussion about it. I do know that one of the midwives on
the pregnancy group has a website with lots of videos and pictures of
births, but darn it I cannot remember her name right now. (Anne, was it
Stephanie, but I don't remember her website).

I think you mean BirthDiaries.com

Clisby

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

I second Jamie's idea. I would watch the shows, especially the ones on
the Discovery Channel because those are more realistic. Watching those
with her will open up a discussion about it. I do know that one of the
midwives on the pregnancy group has a website with lots of videos and
pictures of births, but darn it I cannot remember her name right now.
(Anne, was it Stephanie, but I don't remember her website).

I think you mean BirthDiaries.com

yup, that site owner's name is Stephanie, her screen name was Elfanie.

Anne

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

On Mar 7, 4:22 pm, Akuvikate wrote:
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth.

My kids watched "Unconventional Births / Born in the USA" from
Puget Sound Birth & Family Center. I got it free at a conference. It
included home, birth center and hospital births.

Most of the women did a good bit of screaming and even the home
births were more interventionist than I was comfortable with.
None of this bothered the kids, ages 3, 6, and 9. This is interesting
since we have a TV free home and my 6 yo finds almost any children's
movie too scary.

They asked to watch it over and over. I shared my opinions on how
each birth was handled. I think it was good for them to see the
families on the video and hear their stories in addition to the
births.

When it came to the actual birth, the kids were in the living room
and
rushed in the moment they heard the first cry. This meant that they
were there to see their sister right away, but were also present for
the scary stuff. There was a lot more blood involved than any birth
video would have and my disappearance to the hospital. My 3 yo is the
only one (other than the midwives) who seems to have been bothered by
seeing all the blood. In the days after the birth, she asked
about it repeatedly. Now, a month later, she seems fine.

I don't regret allowing my kids to be around.

--Betsy

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

On Mar 7, 7:22�pm, Akuvikate wrote:
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. �My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. �But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. �I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. �Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. �She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08


I've watched "A Baby Story" with my two older kids (now ages 7 and
4.5) and discussed the birth process with them, not because I'm
planning to have them in the delivery room with me (I don't like
distraction when I'm laboring) but because they were interested in how
babies come out. One thing I found helpful was reframing the labor
process as "hard work" rather than "incredible pain" -- I told them
that the mommy has to work very hard to get the baby out, and that
hard work can hurt, but I kept the focus on the work involved. And I
told them that even though the hard work can be painful, the mommy is
so excited to see the baby and doesn't mind working hard for it.
Also, when they remarked on the bloodiness of the process, I told them
that mommies make lots of extra blood when they're pregnant and they
don't need that blood anymore so it's okay that it comes out with the
baby. I think it's just important that kids realize that there's
nothing *wrong* with the mother during labor, that everything that
happens is okay and just part of having a baby.

Good luck!

Bryna

Preparing sibling for birth process?
 

On Mar 7, 3:22 pm, Akuvikate wrote:
We'd like to have the option of having the Bug (4.5 y/o) present at
the birth when the little dude is born. My mother, who is very
involved in her life, would be at the hospital as the designated Bug
manager so that they can go in and out of the room as seems
appropriate. But of course I wouldn't want to spring this on her
unawares, and am more mystified and apprehensive about how to open the
discussion with her about the (relatively) gory details of birth than
I am about actually having her there. I know a lot of people on these
lists have had older siblings present at birth and am curious about
any good resources you know of (books, videos, whatever) to educate
preschool age children about birth. Growing up as a doctor's daughter
she's generally knowledgeable about the body and enjoys looking at my
rather graphic medical school anatomy textbook. She particularly
likes the drawing of the abdominal wall splayed open to show the
stomach and intestines -- point being, she's not squeamish about this
sort of thing, so I could see a non-kid oriented photographic book
about pregnancy and birth also serving as a good tool to prepare her.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

You're better off having your husband watch the kids in the waiting
room while you give birth. Spare the husband and kids your ordeal.

Regards...