Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

Someone posted something recently to the effect that this group had always
been about moaning how tough it was being a single parent etc (hence the
subject line, also a damn good marketing ploy for getting you to read it I
felt). Well, I would like to say that I think it is tough and its no use
pretending it isn't. I come here for the support I get from talking about it
(alt.support etc) and any advice I can get from others who live it and have
been through the rough patches (esp the beginning bits). So hard to find
anyone who is not in this position to talk to and the things they take for
granted that you can't do or have to consider just don't feature on their
mental maps. The flip side is that it is very fulfilling. It is really trite
and such an 'ism' but I feel so 'emotionally fulfilled' by looking after my
daughter as well and we do have lots of fun. She really does 'complete my
life'. I often feel bad for her mother who left the country over a year ago
and is not getting this. This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first
time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that, her mum was not and
the firsts only come once, so sorry she (her mum) is missing them and so
glad I can see all these firsts and be with her. Often when I am out in the
day and she's at school I see something and think, 'yeah, she would like
this show/thing/display/restaurant/film' and make plans for us to enjoy it
together like all the Father Xmas stuff they are doing in shopping centres
now. Its great!!!

Andrew
PS, the above I am well aware that once we hit the teens there are going
to be a whole host of 'firsts' that I am not going to be so enamoured of!
She can clean up her own first pub crawl puke off the carpet methinks!!!

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

"Andrew" wrote in message
...
Someone posted something recently to the effect that this group had always
been about moaning how tough it was being a single parent etc (hence the
subject line, also a damn good marketing ploy for getting you to read it I
felt). Well, I would like to say that I think it is tough and its no use
pretending it isn't. I come here for the support I get from talking about
it
(alt.support etc) and any advice I can get from others who live it and
have
been through the rough patches (esp the beginning bits). So hard to find
anyone who is not in this position to talk to and the things they take for
granted that you can't do or have to consider just don't feature on their
mental maps. The flip side is that it is very fulfilling. It is really
trite
and such an 'ism' but I feel so 'emotionally fulfilled' by looking after
my
daughter as well and we do have lots of fun. She really does 'complete my
life'. I often feel bad for her mother who left the country over a year
ago
and is not getting this. This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first
time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that, her mum was not and
the firsts only come once, so sorry she (her mum) is missing them and so
glad I can see all these firsts and be with her. Often when I am out in
the
day and she's at school I see something and think, 'yeah, she would like
this show/thing/display/restaurant/film' and make plans for us to enjoy it
together like all the Father Xmas stuff they are doing in shopping centres
now. Its great!!!

Andrew
PS, the above I am well aware that once we hit the teens there are
going
to be a whole host of 'firsts' that I am not going to be so enamoured of!
She can clean up her own first pub crawl puke off the carpet methinks!!!


Your daughter is very lucky to have you.

Christine

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

Andrew wrote in message ...

snip

This year my daughter saw a rainbow for the first
time and we oohed and aaahed it, I was there for that,

Yeah, this kind of thing is the bonus.
I have said here before that I consider it an honour and a privilege to be
so involved in my sons upbringing. All the little milestones make the hard
slog pale into insignificance.
I posted recently, with immense pride, about Freddie swimming his first
width at the pool. The upshot of that is that I now have to play his new
game of "limpet" every week. Basically he latches himself on to my back and
I have to get him off. This can only be done by me staying under the water
longer than he can, the trouble is that as soon as I surface, he latches on
again. I can't get away from him for more than a minute or so. Like the
terminator, he just does not stop.
Without persevering with the hard slog, we would never get to see those
priceless rewarding bits.

Dennis



make the hard slog pale into insignificance for me.

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women.

To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, they do
not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact
still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women seemed
to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and chases
something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy or
getting on the CS gravy boat.

To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact
in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family
unit.

Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in my
life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my buissness, I
think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser
you will loose whatever your circumstance.

One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that women
single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial female,
most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter
(nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in some
sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of employing
single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity they
face is almost humiliating.

rant over, I cant spell and i dont care.

HanK

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

Okay......I'll start......

"HanK" wrote in message
...
I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then
women.

Neither gender corners the market on being a better parent


To me most men who have their children *really* want their children, they
do
not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact
still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women
seemed
to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and chases
something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy or
getting on the CS gravy boat.

Both premiises are so wrong they don't deserve further comment


To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in
fact
in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family
unit.

Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as well
or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light doesn't
shine,

Your statement is incredibly selfish and self centered


Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in my
life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my buissness,
I
think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a
looser
you will loose whatever your circumstance.

snicker and the vast amount of people in between


One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that women
single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial
female,
most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter
(nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in some
sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of
employing
single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity
they
face is almost humiliating.

woulldn't by chance be because of the sterotyping of their employer would
it?
Painting with such a broad brush will generally find you painted into a
corner



rant over, I cant spell and i dont care.

Rant? more like moronic pontificating


HanK

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then women.

I think anybody who makes generalizations like that is showing their ignorance.

To me most men who have their children *really* want their children,

And if most of the women you know don't really want their children then what is
wrong with you that you hang around with skuzzy women?

To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in fact
in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family
unit.

If you were ever part of a healthy marraige you wouldnt say that. It is easier
and better for everyone to have a mother and a father.

ANd before everyone who picked bad women and men to be the other parent of your
children start yapping at me, it may be easier doing it alone than with a jerk,
but I promise you, it's better with two healthy parents.

Maybe its a financial thing,

Yea, having money always makes things easier.

I
think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a looser
you will loose whatever your circumstance.

I guess it all depends on your idea of success. But people who have never
experienced hardship tend to believe it's because they are so wonderful,
hardworking and upright, they dont' see that other people and luck had a lot to
do with it, so they tend to be pretty judgmental of others who are not as
blessed.

Joelle

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...
Okay......I'll start......

"HanK" wrote in message
...
I think generally men make a better custodial parent/child unit then
women.

Neither gender corners the market on being a better parent


To me most men who have their children *really* want their children,
they
do
not really give a toss about CS payments (I've never had a penny in fact
still give her mother cash when she is skint), where as alot of women
seemed
to have been either dumped with kids whilst their guy goes off and
chases
something younger/prettier or got pregnant in the hope of keeping a guy
or
getting on the CS gravy boat.

Both premiises are so wrong they don't deserve further comment


To me there is simply nothing difficult about being a single parent, in
fact
in many ways I think its easier than being part of a traditional family
unit.

Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as
well
or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light
doesn't
shine,

Your statement is incredibly selfish and self centered


Maybe its a financial thing, I employ a cleaner and a PA to help out in
my
life, send my child to a private school and employ people in my
buissness,
I
think in general you are either successfull or a looser and if your a
looser
you will loose whatever your circumstance.

snicker and the vast amount of people in between


One thing that has began to niggle me is the different attitude that
women
single parents face than men, especially if you are a non custodial
female,
most women think its incredably *sweet* that I look after my daughter
(nearly 5, had her on my own since she was two) and alsmost see it in
some
sort of hollywood family movie context, however, I make a point of
employing
single parents in my buissness, they are all women, and the negativity
they
face is almost humiliating.

woulldn't by chance be because of the sterotyping of their employer would
it?
Painting with such a broad brush will generally find you painted into a
corner



rant over, I cant spell and i dont care.

Rant? more like moronic pontificating


HanK


Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank you.

Christine

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

"CME" wrote in message
news:4JRwb.21915$oN2.9526@edtnps84...



Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank you.

Christine




I practice equal opportunity bashing....of idiots

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:4JRwb.21915$oN2.9526@edtnps84...



Paul F, is this OUR Paul F? lol JK Very well said my dear and thank
you.

Christine




I practice equal opportunity bashing....of idiots

LOL that's a good calling.

Christine

Bunch of pathetic whiners
 

Unless you are the kid.........any parent that thinks that kids are as
well
or better off in a single parent home has their head where the light
doesn't
shine,

lol, idiot.

Take some time to remove your head from your arse and have a little think
about this statement, its floored in every way possible, take a second to
think about some of the atrosoties that take place within traditional family
units, are you aware how common domestic violence is, I'm not very aware of
domestic violence in single parent house holds Paul, I could go on but your
attitude seems so simplistic that I believe I would be wasting my time.

Regards
HanK